Hey Joey thanks for sharing the story. I taken many drugs in my life. Different ones though. I never taken heroin except once we thought it was coke from a slick dealer and ended up on emergency from sniffing it. PROPERLY was mixed with some rat poison though symptoms were small pupils and puking like on heroin before emergency room with wake up needle. I was put on something called Ketogan 25 mg. 8 a day. for back pain and its some of the worse you can be on. It altered my personality. took me 12 years to get off those 8 x 25 mg ketogan and then they wanted me to supplement with 90 mg morphine in tabs. I am now done on 15 mg and off the Keto. Its been 13 years wasted of my life almost. Because of some doctor. Will properly take me to summer 2023 to quit the last tabs. I am now 44. Feel hopeless. Do you sometimes feel like getting off everything had depleted something within? Sorry my bad written rant. I am a Viking from Denmark. I got long hair also. You better listen to some metal bro:) Just found your channel.
I'm glad you are still alive man. Please try to stay clean as you can and keep your head up. This planet needs more people like yourself.Your story helped me stay away from stuff like this.
I was on heroin for 9 years been clean for 4 years got myself clean all by myself in my house on my couch no meds except ibuprofen and drinking tons of water because dehydration can kill you specially if you go cold turkey...worst month of my life but knowing it was worth it kept me going if anyone is reading this and needs encouraging to quit...you got this man!!! It's worth it 💪.
Is it just me or should heroin be legal for recreational use? if it was legal it would not be cut with fentanyl. if it was legal the potency would be regulated. on the streets the potency ranges from batch to batch. 1 batch might be 20% pure, another might be 80% pure. that is extremely dangerous. if someone is used to the 20% stuff and they try the 80% stuff and take the regular dose, they are going to overdose and die. If it was legal we would have a right to bodily autonomy. *"NOOO!!! legalizing heroin will turn everyone into heroin addicts"* really, how so? would you start doing heroin if they legalized it? of course you wouldn't. alcohol and cigarettes are legal, I do not do those. heroin is illegal, but I still do that. you can not criminalize a lifestyle. if being gay was illegal, people would be gay in secret. if being black was illegal, people would be black in secret. if being a heroin user was illegal, people would do heroin in secret.
My son died from a mixed drug toxicity, which included heroin, and died alone in the street. This video has given me an answer to a question that I've asked myself daily. Thank you.
What an incredibly eloquent man. He explains heroin so well; the way it creeps up on you, the nauseous feeling then the eventual overdosing. I imagine this man could write a brilliant book considering his skilled vocal way of explaining specific situations. I wish him all the best and hope he lives a long and prosperous life.
@@creamydistortion Huh? You seem to have completely missed the point of this beautifully detailed anecdote of how someone (regardless of culture) can get taken out by a substance. It's not "depressing" at all. It's educational and needs to be told.
Thats exactly how my grandpa dependant on it for over 20 years would say like he said at the start he always only put a little on his cig and smoke it but did it over and over again thinking its chill cus he didn't even feel rly high
@@Seraphim222 Exactly! It's a very sneaky drug. At first it helps you just like having a panadol or paracetamol when you have a headache. But then suddenly you start thinking about it all the time and your body craves it. Then comes the trouble...
My daughter was a meth/ heroine addict and she has seen plenty of her friends die in their 20's. She was so deep I thought I was going to lose her. She's been 2 years sober and loves her life now. She's 30.
I can't imagine how sad and desperate that would make me feel to have my own daughter addicted to drugs. You poor thing that's brutal. Glad she survived and sober now. Such a relief for you. Take care
@simply Would you share the story in how you found out about your daughter using meth. What age. Did you know she was on meth before you confirmed it. I’m just curious
@@AntonioMartinez-gg5ru it's been so long I can't remember exactly when but she was 20. Her boyfriend had started her out on heroin. She was on that for a few yrs. then it was meth. She told me that her boyfriend( her babies dad) had given her the needle for the first time. She told me everything. She's now 30 and 2 years clean
@@DarkenedAndrew Normal Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected, the usual, average, or typical state or condition. Examples: usual standard typical stock common ordinary customary conventional habitual accustomed expected Talking about drugs is a "Normal thing".
@@nakatash1977so if a dude goes to war at 18 and cones back at 25, he aint got no stories to tell because hes not old? Anyone who ages 20 years more than the age has one hell of a story to tell.
Before I OD'd, I would always hear about ppl overdosing and I'd think "how can you go back to drugs after something so traumatic??" Then, when it finally happened to me I got the answer. In a sense, I wasn't really there when it happened. I mean I was there physically, but I wasn't conscious. I basically slept through the traumatic part. My friend and family were the ones who had to go through the traumatic bits of giving me CPR, calling 911, etc. Thus, it's very easy to go back to it after that.
Str8up bro. I overdosed twice from fentynal. The heroin wasnt laced....i was shooting fent at the time. From heroin to fent.....man, its a whole other ballgame. U know its bad when u check yourself outta the hospital to go do the rest of the fentynal u just overdosed from. Never know where your addiction will take you.
@@stephenstuckey hi Stephen. I hope you are able to get off fentanyl and live your life. My 37 yr old cousin od’d 4 times in a week early December and the last time left her in a coma. Now her Mom is with her watching her last kid (her other two sons died and most recent was in July) shake uncontrollably while hooked up to a vent in a coma. Docs say that she will never be the same if she lives and she will be a vegetable requiring 24/7 care. So keep in mind that not all overdoses result in waking up or even death but somewhere in between. God bless and take care ❤ ( edit to add if you have stopped, keep going!)
@@Ladybird5426 hi there, yes i have been clean for about 9 months now(again). I am currently on suboxone which i wish i wasnt but its better than the alternative. Being clean now is the best feeling in the world. I dont plan on going back. Which is why i have to work at it everyday. Everyday making the choice to not use. Life really is better on the other side. Thank u for your comment🐸. Stay safe. Stay sober.
So interesting this came up in my feed. I’ve never used hard drugs, never thought about it. I watched… Giving thanks to God you are alive. I don’t know you but know that you are special. Thanks for sharing your story.
Mad respect here. I'm a therapist and worked SUD/dual diagnosis for the first few years of my career. I always love hearing stories, and I appreciate this so much. People need to hear what it's like firsthand.
🙏🙏Blessings forever GOD loves y'all too forever tell everyone you know and don't know. Jesus loves y'all too forever. Teach everyone how to see and enjoy their blessings too forever😊
@@ChargersCity I'm an atheist, but I see you and appreciate the sentiment! I like to think I'm helping people every day with my job. To quote Nietzsche, "To live is to suffer; to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering."
@@singforyourseltzerYou are young I’m sure, but if you continue reading the greats you’ll come around on your own. Curtis Jackson - “Sunny days wouldn't be special if it wasn't for rain Joy wouldn't feel so good if it wasn't for pain. Death gotta be easy, 'cause life is hard. It'll leave you physically, mentally, and emotionally scarred.”
this is the kind of stuff they should show kids in school, just a bluntly very real experience of what drugs really are instead of just telling them drugs are bad, really insightful thanks for sharing ive always been a dopamine fiend but never hit the harder stuff
The problem with young people (high school age) is they will get interested in whatever interests them anyway. You show the future druggies this video, they will just want to try it to see what it feels like. You can’t change people, they’ll go down whatever path life has in store for them.
I genuinely want to know why you believe her story is funny? Have been on drugs or have you experienced a friend or family member that were addicted to drugs? lol 😂
Congrats. I got heavily into GHB/GBL and it really messed up my life past year and a half and still slowly trying to get out of it. I hate when people say "well you are smart, how did you get yourself into that" not understanding that, even if that is true, it only means you are better at self rationalizing obviously poor decision making. Who hasn't been addicted can't understand what it means.
I watched the entire 25 minutes of this video and I can honestly say this is one of the best videos on this platform. The best way of explaining something is through the eyes of a man who lived through it. Power to you, and im sure that even if only 1 person who is thinking of doing Heroin watches this video, you have most likely saved their life.
I really appreciate you describing the embarrassment and shame that comes with being an addict in public. No one wants to be out there disturbing people and causing scenes, and it never feels good to hear about it after. Stuff like that lives in memories for a long time.
Here's a random neuroscience fact related to this video: Compared to people who do not smoke, people addicted to smoking (regardless of whether or not nicotine is involved) are 40% more likely to develop addictions to other soft drugs (e.g Alcohol, Marijuana, CNS stimulant drugs, DMT, hallucinogens, Psilocybin, etc...) and 80% more likely to develop addictions to hard drugs (e.g Heroin, Cocaine, LSD, Ecstasy, PCP, Ketamine, etc...)
RIP man My n my bro are the only ones who fw H my dad was just a str8 up alcoholic. (My dad also died in 2022 RIP- I miss him more than ever) Ironic cuz I enjoy alcohol now since I can’t deal with doing H or Xans or any of that anymore - been sober n my mind just doesn’t function right sober if I’m being totally honest I envy people who don’t crave drugs at all I’ve been sober for long periods of time & the simple fact is no matter how long I go sober it doesn’t help the way my brain works at all whatsoever that’s why I need THC or Kratom to stay sane
I am so sorry. I lost my first cousin who was younger and dear to me. He was so funny and such a little smart azz. Anyway he went to jail for 3 or 4 months for possession and came out and OD-ed. It happens to so many addicts. I don't understand why jails don't prepare people better for life on the outside. Locking an addict up for 3 or 4 months and letting them go is murder. I have also known people who were clean and found some old stash they lost - took it and died. It is poison. Don't do it and I say don't hang out with people who do it. A best friend of mine started using meth and I cut my ties with her. I can't tolerate it around me and my family. Desperate people are dangerous. Never let them near you.
That’s really sad ‘ but u can be a great person in life . I was on h’ for years clean six years now have two girls put them through some crap . All good now all happy. Lost my partner to it . Totally eats u up if u let it . ….. we are not our parents 🤪💋…….. Jh .. England 🏴
I OD'd on fentanyl on April 19 of this year. Everything he said is spot on. I was catatonic before I nodded off and couldn't move or speak and the next thing I knew I was waking up in a hospital 2 days later. Thank God for naracan. I'll be 6 months clean in a couple weeks.
Been a heroin addict for 10 years. I'm 8 months sober now with the exception of being on the sublocade shot. I just lost my best friend a month ago to a fent od. It's been tough dealing with his loss. Prayers for all the people out there still struggling in active addiction. Don't be afraid to get help it's never too late.
@@Natedav51 that's great man! Yea I just started my sublocade I'm going back on the 3rd to get my second 300mg shot from my doctor in Baton Rouge. It's supposed to be 4 shots/4 months. 2 300's and 2 100's But I heard a lot of ppl say that when they got that last shot they was good like they never felt any withdrawals whatsoever like it slowly leaves your system ya know, I guess that's why. That's a hell of a lot better than the hell you go through trying to quit the strips. I never could get off the strips without giving in I tried 2 different times to cold turkey from 8mg man that was a bitch! I was 3 months into detoxing and I still felt like shit and both times I couldn't take it anymore and ended up taking sub again or kratom or anything that would give me some kind of relief. Not to mention how bad the strips f****d my teeth up man I mean they literally wiped them all out almost and now I'm gonna need implants. I used to have good teeth. But I'm actually part of a class action lawsuit against the pharmaceutical company that makes suboxone because it messed up so many people's teeth and the doctors didn't know to tell anyone for so long because they had no idea and now everyone that been on subs for as long as me are complaining about their teeth. If anybody that reads this is interested in being a part of the lawsuit because suboxone ruined your teeth, dm me on Facebook Seth Pujol I'll tell you who to contact. you could very well get compensation for it. I'm hoping I do. At least so I could get some new teeth.
My mother was hooked on Heroin when I was growing up. She had a boyfriend who helped her get deep on it. Watched her when I was a little boy just fall apart slowly. The abscesses, the constant sleeping during the day. Loopy conversations even I thought where odd when I was like 7-8 years old. Hallucinations she would have and think they where real. ETC. It made me so sick, and confused, and sad, and scared, and lost. I lost her back then really. She stopped being my mom and started just... slipping away in front of me. I never really recovered from it. She died to me, really. A walking echo in a dark cave of her past self. Then came methadone.. it doesn't end. That guy, her boyfriend, one night did some of the stuff, ran a bath, did some more, then they slept together and he died in a puddle of his own vomit in his sleep, in her bed, one room over from me. She then tried off-ing herself soon after. I saw it happen, I was maybe 9 years old... I just hope someone reading this can understand these decisions can have DRASTIC, life changing impacts on those around you. I don't know if I will ever recover from this mentally and I never did the drugs. Wont ever do drugs like this. Period. Made a promise to myself I won't break from the pain I felt. Wouldn't want to wish it upon anyone else. But yet I still live in their fallout in many ways. Please find it in yourself to take a look around, and within before doing this. If you are in pain, its for a reason. You can fix it if you accept it won't be easy, and take pride in the fact nothing great comes to those with little for free. Ever. Take pride in not buckling, and move forward. Life isn't easy, for anybody. Be an inspiration for those who are in the same shoes, and you will save.. who knows how many people.
I always wonder how's kid life is to have drug addict parents. Personally, I knew some fucked up families where they raped each other but they didn't do drugs.
@@kurrwa Its never good. I have met a few people, one of which a friend who had drug addict parents. Thank God I had my father, who got clean before I was born and became a better man. I will always look up to him, got his act together and basically raised me sober. Worked for everything he has. Couldn't have been easy. But a lot of kids don't even have that. My friend, her parents are both on meth and we are 23 now. Just two absent, probably abusive parents that never set that kid up for life. Just constant confusion, and sorrow. Its a travesty. Travesty to be an addict, a greater one to be born in the midst of it.
One of my friends was an addict. Was clean for 7 years. Then one October he decided to start using again and overdosed that night…after 7 years man. For anyone out there that has been clean, please stay strong and keep your guard up because it can still come after you years later.
It's one of the most dangerous thing you can do,to abstain for a period so your tolerance drops and then go do your usual amount of Heroin and its goodnight Vienna!😎🤔💕🖖
I’m sorry for your loss and I can attest that you can’t let your guard down! I had a decade clean and had one bad day where I didn’t pick up the phone and call someone and I relapsed. I have years of sobriety under my belt again now thankfully
“I had been turning it down my whole life up until this point”….wow that speaks volumes about how addiction runs through families, communities, towns, generations. It also speaks to how addiction can sometimes be a slow steady process that sneaks up until it’s too late. I’ve never even seen heroin let alone tried it, it astounds me that one would have to be exposed to it their whole life.. 😢
Look hard enough you find it misery loves company I have overdoses 8 times I been clean 9 months I was on dope 9 years God is good and he is real put your faith and trust in God your not alone
Is it just me or should heroin be legal for recreational use? if it was legal it would not be cut with fentanyl. if it was legal the potency would be regulated. on the streets the potency ranges from batch to batch. 1 batch might be 20% pure, another might be 80% pure. that is extremely dangerous. if someone is used to the 20% stuff and they try the 80% stuff and take the regular dose, they are going to overdose and die. If it was legal we would have a right to bodily autonomy. *"NOOO!!! legalizing heroin will turn everyone into heroin addicts"* really, how so? would you start doing heroin if they legalized it? of course you wouldn't. alcohol and cigarettes are legal, I do not do those. heroin is illegal, but I still do that. you can not criminalize a lifestyle. if being gay was illegal, people would be gay in secret. if being black was illegal, people would be black in secret. if being a heroin user was illegal, people would do heroin in secret.
I love that you speak as if your talking directly to me in person, having a conversation with me, and hanging out. Thank you for sharing your story. ❤️
I relate to this so much. I’m 34 years old and starting using heroin at 15 years old. Used for over 15 years and got clean 4 years ago. So many unconscious moments, slowed respiration, waking up not knowing what happened. Embarrassing. I am so beyond grateful that I was able to get clean after endless treatment centers, jails prisons & relapses. Thank you for reminding me of where I came from❤
Is it just me or should heroin be legal for recreational use? if it was legal it would not be cut with fentanyl. if it was legal the potency would be regulated. on the streets the potency ranges from batch to batch. 1 batch might be 20% pure, another might be 80% pure. that is extremely dangerous. if someone is used to the 20% stuff and they try the 80% stuff and take the regular dose, they are going to overdose and die. If it was legal we would have a right to bodily autonomy. *"NOOO!!! legalizing heroin will turn everyone into heroin addicts"* really, how so? would you start doing heroin if they legalized it? of course you wouldn't. alcohol and cigarettes are legal, I do not do those. heroin is illegal, but I still do that. you can not criminalize a lifestyle. if being gay was illegal, people would be gay in secret. if being black was illegal, people would be black in secret. if being a heroin user was illegal, people would do heroin in secret.
Is it just me or should heroin be legal for recreational use? if it was legal it would not be cut with fentanyl. if it was legal the potency would be regulated. on the streets the potency ranges from batch to batch. 1 batch might be 20% pure, another might be 80% pure. that is extremely dangerous. if someone is used to the 20% stuff and they try the 80% stuff and take the regular dose, they are going to overdose and die. If it was legal we would have a right to bodily autonomy. *"NOOO!!! legalizing heroin will turn everyone into heroin addicts"* really, how so? would you start doing heroin if they legalized it? of course you wouldn't. alcohol and cigarettes are legal, I do not do those. heroin is illegal, but I still do that. you can not criminalize a lifestyle. if being gay was illegal, people would be gay in secret. if being black was illegal, people would be black in secret. if being a heroin user was illegal, people would do heroin in secret.
I turned it down for 2 years regularly. Then I tried it and got hooked for 7 years. I tried and tried to stop . The only way I stopped completely was to move to another country and start over . That was in 2008 . I am now happy married with a family. You need to get away from old friends and hangouts.
Glad to hear you made it out. It took me overdosing and going to prison when I got out I never forgot the feeling of waking up in the ambulance and thinking how much hurt it would cause if it didn’t make it.
I lost my brother Mark to a Fentanyl overdose last year. He taught me the ropes in the field of work I'm in even though he struggled with his own problems, he'd always find a way to make you laugh. Working as a contractor at the age of 20 and me being the smallest and weakest, I had a hard time keeping up with crew. Mark being the guy he was, never saw that in me. He told me I could do anything the rest of the crew could do only if I was willing to learn. I remember mark telling me that he got high on dope one weekend, and something felt different. He goes "Yo bro I think they're putting something in the shit." His childhood friend found him in his apartment some following months after. I'm now 22 and still working with the crew. Though it was a shot to the chest to lose someone close, we honor him through our work an even have a drink or two for the holidays so he's not missing out. RIP Mark!
You look great and I hope you’re staying clean. If nobody has told you today, I’m proud of you and I think you inspired many people who were/ are stuck there. 💜 There’s always a line between dosing to get high and then dosing just to feel normal. When you cross the line, the drug has you. You’ll never get that same high and people spend the rest of their lives trying to find it again. Without it your happy is nothing and your low is real real low. Everyday is just a hustle and trying not to get sick. One of the hardest part of quitting is figuring out what to do when you realize how much time was dedicated to staying well. The big void that makes so many slip. A moment for all who now rest in peace
I am an addict, married, and a father of 4 kids…the best advice i can offer anyone reading this is…if you’ve never tried whatever drug it is, keep it that way. The natural, healthy high you are born with is more than enough (and the best way) to experience life at its fullest. Drugs will drag you down into the darkest pits you could possibly imagine, and once you are hooked, you will have to spend the rest of your life fighting those demons when you should be spending that time loving your family…it can be done, it can be overcome, but the battle is not easy.
I feel you so much, man. Married, 3 kids, I managed to get clean and stayed clean for years. I recently relapsed, I suspect because of the clinical depression I suffered from since I was a teen (undiagnosed because it was the early 1980s), coupled with stress, and it is just so difficult...I look into my kids' eyes and I feel like spitting in my own face...which of course compounds the cravings...and so it goes, a merry-go-round of fucked up-ness. And I heartily concur with your valuable advice: just don't fucking touch that shit. What you don't know you don't miss. It may take a year, it may take five, it may take ten, but it will eventually take over your life. It is amazing how a simple powder can eventually kill your soul. Words fail me....
@@giorgiocurcetti4001 Your soul isn't dead man you can still do anything you want. Nobody is blaming you and if they are, they don't understand. Also it saddens me you feel like spitting in your own face; I think you're already punishing yourself enough. I promise you can get through this if you want to. Crazy how good the brain is at adjusting, don't listen to this disease model bs where people say things like "once an addict, always an addict". Comments like that crush valuable dreams
@@faliento5012 thanks so much for your comforting words. You are a good person. It is just....so hard. Thanks for your understanding and empathy. The world as a whole could use more of people like you...
Agreed. Especially when it comes to that socially acceptable drug, alcohol. Wish i never tried it at the age of 14 to cope with my anxiety caused by this god awful existence.
Thanks so much for the video. Your honesty and transparency about heroin and rehab journey are so admirable. I’ve been addicted to coke and you’re right, that shit hits like lightning 😅 After a while of almost ODing and pushing my limits, and getting kicked out of rehab because I couldn’t stay clean, it stuck with me what path I was on. Was in therapy once with a guy in his 50s who survived many ODs, a whole stroke, and even being shot, amongst his struggles with divorce and strained relationship with his son etc. His stories stay in my mind. And yours will too. Glad I’m sober now and didn’t start on fentanyl or heroin. Glad you’re also sober now, that shit can be really fucking hard. Thanks again for sharing. Sending love brother. Hope everything keeps getting better for you. ❤️
I experienced the EXACT same thing multiple times when I was addicted to Alcohol and Xanax… couple 4-5 bars a day with either a full bottle of liquor or 18-24 case of beer… was so bad when I would wake up my fingers and toes would be blue! Coming up on 5 years clean from Xanax and 2 years from alcohol and other recreational drugs. Best decisions of my life! Down 100+ lbs and look 10 years younger!! LIFE IS WORTH FIGHTING FOR!!!
I’ve struggled with Xanax as well for a long time. It was the only drug that landed me in jail and caused me to really do some wild shit, horrible, horrible drug. Congratulations for beating it brother
@@mikekell920 xanax is fucked man. The worst thing for me was seeing the way my family looked at me the next day - the disappointment in their eyes, and having no idea why. shit sticks with you
You my man are a fucking hero. You gave me an inside look on what people on the street might be going through and I've never heard someone explain addiction in such a clear and relatable way. Keep doing what you do, you help a lot of people!
Joey..lost my Daughter 3/27/22 to combination of alcohol and drugs one being Fentanyl.My life has been forever shattered. She even tried the Suboxion but was a strict program and wasn't willing to go through it, found another Dr to write for Oxycodone went through all of them got on Fentanyl. I'll never understand..but watching your video helped me to know how bad addiction can be and how she must have suffered & struggled off & on for many years.I miss her so much. Good for you to break the chains.Good luck & take care.
Worst part of an OD is waking up after the narcan shot,in full blown withdrawal.The OD itself is painless.I got clean right before the fetty hit the street.I was blessed.
I quit in 2020 and am fully convinced that had I continued I would’ve died. Even after quitting, hearing about them $10 30mg fake blues had me tempted but within weeks of them appearing people around me started dropping like flies while the dboys started catching murder charges. It’s terrifying out there currently and only getting worse.
@@jeremywanner4526 once, over twenty years ago, I did something really stupid: I had taken smack maybe eight hours prior, and I was craving for more. A friend gave me some subutex, the heavy duty 10 mg pills, which I crushed and proceeded to snort. I had used street Subutex extensively in the past, to get over withdrawal while trying to hold down a steady job, and it always went ok, but this time I was catapulted into a full-blown withdrawal, worse than any natural withdrawal I had ever experienced. That night I really thought I was going to die. It felt just so unbelievably bad. I spent the next day slowly getting back to "normality" (whatever that is for a junkie like me). I never touched Subutex ever again after that. Methadone served me well, and it is fine. I suppose being brought back with Narcan must feel like what I have experienced....
@@chinese_botI started my addiction in 2021 thanks to the blues lol, those things are evil. I was wanting to try opiates since I was experimenting with every drug since 2020 and never got addicted to any of the other drugs but blues/fent was the only shit in my area at the time I could find so I just did tiny amounts of the blues. I was on blues for a little under a year and had my life ripped apart and became an entirely different person. Those things turned me into the biggest fiend. Thank god for Suboxone, Im almost 3yrs clean
My ex boyfriend died from a fentanyl laced heroin overdose.. I loved him very much, but we just didn't work out. I tried many times to get him help, and I realized I was addicted to helping him as bad as he was addicted to heroin... so I had to leave and get help myself. I had hoped he would have done the same, but unfortunately it didn't work out that way. I will always have a place in my heart for him. Rest in peace, Jacob Franklin Welty. 💔
I was on it 2 years, I'm 6 months sober, and I ONLY snorted. Never used a needle, and couldn't smoke it because it was always too cut. Bad part of living so close to the Chi
This is a fact that makes heroin seem less scary. I had always thought of heroin addicts as people who shot up. I was shown that it could be snorted, and I thought it wasn't as bad as shooting up. Wrong. I've been clean for 3yrs, lost my husband in 2021 to an OD. It's taken me years to quit craving that high, but here I am. Each day isn't easy, but I remind myself that everyday is a day my husband wishes he'd be here.
1st time I seen it snorted, I was in county waiting in the holding tank right b4 being sent to general population. This dude got up and sat on the toilet wich was about 4feet away, he reached back and pulled out a baggy from his a-hole... and somehow he had a 🥄... Proceed to scoop some water and mixed it with black and snorted it. Dude was so generous he shared with other's 😂😂
This is a very informative video. I’m a former Heroin addict myself. 4 years clean. Your totally right about how the addiction creeps up on you. One day your splitting a bag with you buddy next your buying a bundle a day from whatever you stole to feed the addiction. I didn’t even realize how much of a nightmare it was until I finally got clean.
That’s exactly how it works. Gets out of control quick to. Especially if it’s a relapse. First time takes a little longer but relapsing will get out of control immediately
@@reddiver7293 thanks bro. I’m lucky that I have a good support system in my life. Trying to get off that shit is lonely enough but not having friends or family to back you up makes you feel even more isolated.
Addiction and drug abuse runs in my family and I have witnessed it ever since a little girl. Growing up, I have always told myself I will never try Heroin and I still stand on that. However, after listening to your wisdom, I know even better now to not fall for the sneaky traps of cheese that the enemy will lay out. So I thank you and I appreciate you, because potentially you are saving a lot of souls from falling down that rabbit hole. God bless your soul. 🙏
@@chicodaboi174 Damn… that is horrible and I am sorry you’ve had this experience. It’s unfortunate how toxic coping mechanisms or a “fun time” can spread like a virus if one is not too careful or thinking consciously. Idk exactly how that has effected you but presumably not the best. Im assuming since 3/4 of your grandparents were addicts, the chances of acquiring such a generational trauma is quite high..? And for the ones who come after them, must take heed to this since it becomes an opportunity to break addiction out of the bloodline. Whether this has become your mission to do or not, sending you love, light, and prosperity! ! !
This was the video I never knew I needed to see but I'm glad I did. My best friend of over 15 years had a severe heroin addiction. He ended up contracting HIV from a shared needle in the last year of his life. He died of a heroin overdose in the streets on 3/20/2022. It still hurts like shit to know I'll never see him again but at least now I know he didn't go in pain. Thank you for sharing your story brother. I'm glad you were able to turn your life around.
Ive lost many people from drug related issues and ods. I am legitimately so happy for you man that you are here making videos and talking about it.I hope you will always be alright and out of shit.Just have fun
It’s 4am & this randomly came in my feed. I’ve never done hard drugs but always curious about them because people give up everything over them. I seriously was glued to this video & did laugh here and there. Your super cool dude.😂
My old boy died of a overdose back when I was younger, never really shook it but hearing this video kinda weirdly eased a lot of stuff I thought about. joe the jypsy make sure you don’t relapse mate keep on going sober, gods on your side. 🤙 I don’t know ya but I’m on your side too mate keep clean. Enjoy every single day. these people need helped not hated. peace out.
i lost my highschool best friend to the needle. it makes me so happy knowing theres people out here beating the shit back out of their lives. we are happy to see you here brother, may your sobriety bring you peace.
🙏🙏Blessings forever GOD loves y'all too forever tell everyone you know and don't know. Jesus loves y'all too forever. Teach everyone how to see and enjoy their blessings too forever😊❤
I was on crack and heroin for 23 years I am now 42 and clean for 4 years done it all on my own. I also stopped drinking alcohol. It was a damn hard struggle but coz I wanted to get clean, again, I was fully focused and still am,it was easier than I thought. There's no such word as can't. Good luck to those who are in the struggle. Life gets better trust me.👍😇🙏💪🏋️
@@darrendoyle4396im only 20 and just want to do that instead of anything crazier. shrooms (only recommend microdosing) and cid occasionally but havent done anything crazier than that. i love my body so i never really try to abuse it other than that exotic za. but it’s still so scary being hooked on something other than that i bet. congratulations on your sobriety brother
My father was addicted to heroin for a long time; For most of my childhood and young adult life, about 20+ years. He's been clean 8 years now and I'm so proud of him because I can just imagine how tough it is! A few years ago he was diagnosed with liver cancer (understandably so) but he survived that too. God really had his hand on him throughout his journey of life. Congratulations on your sobriety and thank you for sharing your story with such transparency. Peace be the journey. ♥️
I’m a recovering addict (cocaine), i came back from rehab 2 months ago. Thank you for this video, brought me to tears to realize how much i can identify myself with you. It’s a very hard battle to go through and i’m just happy i can say every day: today i will maintain sober. A day at a time. Lots of love ❤️
You are lucky i read this comment. The ultimate solution to your problems is.... EAT 3.5 grams of magic mushrooms on empty stomach. Guaranteed results. thank me later.
This is incredibly insightful. Thank you for strengthening my empathy for the addicts in my life. Ive never done hard drugs so I never realized how crazy easy it is to get addicted to this shit.
Joey bro...i just happened to stumble upon this video randomly. Just wanted to say GOOD JOB bro. I know it ain't easy! But you did it. You seem like a real likeable guy, a real cool dude. Stay strong!! You got this!
After you get on H for a while, it seems so normal and you forget what being drug-free normal feels like. This reduces your will to get off of it. If you start at a young enough age you never learn how to cope with life's challenges and disappointment because you can always avoid the problem & stress by getting high again. Great recovery story Joey, Thank you and I wish you continued success in life.
Amazing video.. It’s crazy how many people go through so much traumas from this abusive drugs. Heroin addiction actually destroyed my life, i suffered severe depression and mental disorder, not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Lost my sister nearly 6 years ago. She was 44. We tried to save her but couldn’t. It’s a regret I can’t get rid of. I miss her even though I hated her for what she became. I love you always Nikki. Thanks for your sharing your story with us man. Glad your better.
My sister passed away from heroin overdose when I was 15, I always wondered if it was painless when she went and it’s reassuring to hear it probably was. Thanks for the video!
@Dap3tan! ❌TRIGGER WARNINGS GUYS: I am about to discuss what happened to me and what I can and cannot remember during an OD from Fentanyl and H. 🔞 READ CAUTIOUSLY IF YOU’RE SENSITIVE: Now to @Dap3tan! …I promise you, it was 💯 completely painless for her. I know this for a fact. She did NOT feel any pain or suffering at all as it’s as easy as falling asleep. Actually, if I wanna be honest, it’s easier. Your body TAKES A NAP FOR YOU no matter if you were just standing on your feet. It happens very quickly as I put a tiny bit of powder down and that’s all it took. I must’ve practically instantaneously fallen into the OD right then and there. I don’t remember doing this but I pulled on all the shell decorations and perfume bottles I had on the sink down with me, but that’s the exact second it took to take me down. Hit this tiny little brown tiny little “bump?” Then I just looked up and boom, lights are out. I promise you, the things others horrifyingly sometimes see of when someone is in the middle of their OD (like not being able to get oxygen or even seizure type movements) may look as if that person is feeling all of it, but they are NOT. I received CPR from the medics, I guess I had some stuff around my mouth, but no vomit on the floor. I feel so bad talking about this, but I want you to know that when this happens to people who OD that most of it is unintentional. I am so so sad and so sorry for your loss this is so difficult for me to share at all. I feel like she was probably just gonna do that real quick and then carry on with her normal day like I was. Anyway, I’m trying to put it way past me as I feel a tremendous guilt putting others through my OD as witnesses/victims who had to see that. Nobody should ever have to lose someone to drugs. 💔😢I am contemplating sharing my story both with fentanyl (it was prescribed) and then the one and only time I ever tried H and od’d. (I woke up in an ambulance). Again, I’m so sorry for your families loss. 💔 🔞 🚫 Details: Another trigger coming up. I wanted to edit here as I may not want to say anything elsewhere unless it helps just one person, then I will. There aren’t many stories of people telling you what happened during a fentanyl OD because they’re all gone. They just don’t make it to tell their story. I really wanna stress the fact that I was in it pretty deep as far as the OD goes. This one, simple time, a small line is ALL it took. I must’ve crashed down and hit my head either on or near the toilet, I did not feel it. My heart rate was down to approx 8 beats a minute, I was a grey/blue in color and my lips were purple. I was also “snoring” very deep- which again is the body struggling to make an unconscious body breathe. I did not feel a thing. The paramedics performed DEEP chest compressions, didn’t feel that either- until way later when I saw the bruises on my chest from it. It took Two doses of Narcan stabbed into me (I didn’t feel that) to start to wake me. I never felt any of those things before I started to come through finally in the ambulance. After; I woke up so very confused. The Narcan felt like sharp ice going though my body, I could not get warm. I felt like I was just laying on a metal slab which was cold as well. Then the Narcan was zooming though my body as if I had taken 20 shots of some super espresso, yet my arms were clenching tight around me to be the smallest ball I could make myself in. My teeth held a clench in them too. I was freezing from the inside and couldn’t really understand why, and why they wouldn’t let me just close my eyes. “Stay with me” is all I kept hearing plus stats of me as if I was an experiment. It was humiliating and terrible, but the worst was having to face my family afterwards. My two boys and my husband. I felt nothing but pain and shame. So for your angel sister, she went incredibly peacefully. She had no idea that her body was struggling, and fighting because she felt peaceful and quiet. So I can at least with confidence declare that She did not feel a single thing. I never tried that stuff since. Not even once because sometimes just ONCE is all it takes. This was almost 10 years ago. NEVER AGAIN. ❌😭😭😭 I hope this wasn’t too graphic for you or anyone. I just wanted to let you know what could’ve been her state and hopefully deter anyone else from doing this. Not to mention the police all in my hospital room asking me so many questions, I was so confused, but they did not leave. About a week later, I called the ambulance who saved me as well as the responding officers to thank them for saving my life. They said that nobody ever calls. I’m thinking it’s because we lose too many to this horror. I am sorry. Please erase or ask me to if this is too much. I’ve never shared my story before. I just hope this helped you somehow. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm so fucking sorry. My brother overdosed and died in 2015. We both started using send 2002 and I was able to clean around 2012, but he just couldn't. I had to watch him slowly kill himself for years. It was very clear it was painless. He didn't even get the chance to take the needle out of his arm. But I promise it was painless. Any pain that they could have been feeling, they didn't notice. They were just asleep. This is the only condolence I have about losing my brother. Honestly, it's the best way I can think to go. You just go to sleep feeling wonderful and just don't wake up. Again, I'm so sorry. I know there aren't words and "I'm sorry" doesn't mean much. Just know that you're not alone, and she didn't suffer.
I'm not sure how you ended up in my recommended, but you just gained another person rooting for you and wishing you nothing but the best. Much love man.
That's how I felt EVERYDAY using, I would do massive shots hoping I'd OD!!! Thankfully I've just celebrated 14 years off coke & heroin yesterday, after 20+ years of extreme abuse, I'm so happy I never succeeded on over dosing, I now have a son, & see there's so much worth living for!💯👍
This is a cool dude right here , he is one of those real folks that are hard to find and he’s a real good storyteller.I could sit and talk and listo him all day and probably have a good time hanging out with him.I was a heroin addict for 2 years so I know he’s spot on ❤
Thank you for sharing this. I started on f when I got kicked off my lifesaving pain medication that I was taking for arachnoiditis during the crackdown. Kicked off because of the generic bs "we don't want you to get addicted" excuse, except my pain obviously didn't go anywhere so I just ended up doing bags. 5 years, 4 ODs, countless near ODs, destroyed credit, a bank account constantly going between just barely hitting $0 and -$700 because I had to keep having people cash checks for me to overdraw it, every penny I had saved from before I started down the drain, getting robbed at gunpoint multiple times, but I made it out. I don't think you ever get over the guilt of "why did I make it out instead of them?" with the people you lose, but I guess we're still here for a reason. 100% wishing you the best bro God bless
I appreciate this video a lot man, truly. In 2020, my dad OD'd on heroin. I found him. I spent a while questioning if he was in fear or in pain when he passed, and I appreciate your perspective on things. It keeps me hopeful. Seeing someone who's gone through what he went through tell their story comforts me. I'm glad that there are ways to treat this disease, and I'm happy you're alive. Keep telling your story. It means a lot
I have so much respect for the fact that you shared this with the world. When you talked about life being a chore and not caring it really hit a chord with me. I have never been addicted to drugs but I struggle with depression and that is exactly how it feels when I get really low, life feels like a chore and I feel like a completely different being, and it makes me feel like I don't care about anything to the point of feeling suicidal. To anyone out there that struggles with these things, you are worth it and you have a purpose in this life whether you know it or not. God speed.
You give me that or psilocybin and I know for a fact id have a gallon if vodka 7n me and ud empty my bank account to see how much I could bring back whipping a couple ozs
Hey man I really feel you on this one, but I promise you that depression goes away and all of those bad thoughts on wanting to end you’re life will too. Everything is going to be okay. God bless you and I hope you get through you’re depression fast 🙏🏼❤️
@@slattmarlon5266 I'm depressed for a reason, and it's never going away. The reason is not allowed to be discussed on youtube, but anyone who isn't depressed by it is quite naive/ignorant. I'm envious of them tbh
I watched this because I need to understand this addiction. My ex-husband and father of my daughter is a heroin addict. He has ODd several times. He was life flighted the last time. Thank you for helping me to understand how this happens. I am so glad you got clean. ❤️
My experience was, I have to use becuz if I dont, Ill be incapable of working or even self care while withdrawing, its hard to break the cycle of withdrawal leaves you w the inability to even accomplish normal daily tasks.
The with drawls are so brutal the people do for it just shows people would sell there mom and their kids for it it’s a demon it’s self u get clean and it always comes back stay strong 8 months sober 🎉
I've never done heroin but I was addicted to oxycodone for 15 year's went clean for 12 days by myself and it was horrible, I've relapsed a few times until I get back track . 🤗 To everyone
I've been a substance abuse Counsellor, working with addicts for 10 years now and I've never seen them as anything less than troubled individuals who need help & compassion. Addiction can and does happen to anyone & everyone. Remember the person underneath the substance abuse ♥
The world needs more people like you!! There is such a stigma around addiction and things like methadone maintenance and Suboxone. I would like to peruse a degree in addiction counseling.
@@wsljr2042 such a rewarding yet challenging and emotionally draining job to do.. I've met the most amazing people with the saddest stories to tell. Our love and support shouldn't just be held for the ones that "recovered" but for the ones left struggling too. Hope and compassion are they very things that they need ♥ xx
Thank you for this- when I got matched up with my 1st good counselor it was something I looked forward to every week, and when she left and moved away we stayed in touch ..it means SO much to hear a counselor say these things because there are always some "bad eggs", and we already get judged by pharmacies, other doctors, and staff who think we're just lowlife losers..(speaking from personal experience ) when most of us are carrying around so much pain and if there's dual diagnosis involved it's even harder.. bless you !
Very well said. I see a lot of people struggling with substance addiction in my job too, and I know that all of us are probably only one or two wrong turns away from being in the same situation. It starts with maybe a relationship breakup or a family problem, and then you lose your job, and you can't pay your rent, and before you know it you're in that situation, and needing something to numb the pain. Unfortunately things like Heroin and alcohol are very good at taking you out of your reality for a while, but they always drop you off in a much darker place than you were before.
Thanks for sharing brother . Some people need to hear this. Even myself being clean since 2010 needed to hear this. I don't miss that lifestyle at all. Thanks man !
Lost my dear mom to Heroin when i was young, she left behind four kids, all under 8 years of age. I'm Really glad you managed to kick it and that you're still alive. Thanks for telling your story. If your message only helps 1 person, it will be worth it. Good luck!
@PjDurkin-m9s Thanks for asking, but I'm afraid not. He moved away and drank himself to death a few years later. We ended up in care and were split up and eventually adopted. I ended up okay, I guess, but my siblings aren't doing as well.
I lost my mother at 19, since 17 was surviving out in whit my aunt and grandma, mother was in other city, drgs can be fatal, even if not overdosing, suicid3 is always present, is a slippery slope
You are extremely articulate and you tell it like it is. Heroin IS subtle, dangerously so... even David Crosby says so in his diatribe on the subject.( like you , he says " don't even do it " )
I clicked on this video because my best friend died from ODing on heroin. I didn't know that's how it happens. I'm glad you're okay and thankyou for sharing your story!
This guy hit the nail on the head , I was a active opioid user for 20 years and been some of the worst withdrawal’s I’ve ever experienced in my like from benzodiazepines, stimulants etc , cold sweats severe insomnia, diarrhea, throwing up no appetite, depression, anxiety, all of the above , but I just want everyone to know that recovery is possible I have 3 almost 4 years in and life has never been better waking up not dope sick and just being alive is a blessing 🙏🏻 god bless you all
You're such a character man, you seem like a real nice humble guy who hit some hard times and dealt with it in strides. You seem to be doing better, which is nice. I've never done it, but it's easy to see how heroin can make you hit such a physiologically demoralizing low, that it seems easier to let go than get back up. I'm glad you did, because there was still much worth saving. I hope you discover the strongest and happiest version of yourself, and find what you want in life
Keep being strong ! I can hardly imagine how it must feel to live that kind of life, but I sure can realize that it takes guts to go forward when you feel so pushed back by life. Love from Italy !
I’m not sure if you feel the same way but putting your story out there like this is very brave of you. This gives the world a perspective that many have never seen before and answers to questions that many people didn’t even realize they were curious about. This little video holds so much value and I thank you for making it. RIP to my baby brother Chris .
I have a video where i explain exactly how i got off suboxone on my page.
ruclips.net/video/jreEjeh7Eeg/видео.html
Hey Joey thanks for sharing the story. I taken many drugs in my life. Different ones though. I never taken heroin except once we thought it was coke from a slick dealer and ended up on emergency from sniffing it. PROPERLY was mixed with some rat poison though symptoms were small pupils and puking like on heroin before emergency room with wake up needle. I was put on something called Ketogan 25 mg. 8 a day. for back pain and its some of the worse you can be on. It altered my personality. took me 12 years to get off those 8 x 25 mg ketogan and then they wanted me to supplement with 90 mg morphine in tabs. I am now done on 15 mg and off the Keto. Its been 13 years wasted of my life almost. Because of some doctor. Will properly take me to summer 2023 to quit the last tabs. I am now 44. Feel hopeless. Do you sometimes feel like getting off everything had depleted something within? Sorry my bad written rant. I am a Viking from Denmark. I got long hair also. You better listen to some metal bro:) Just found your channel.
w joey
Swear by that stuff! It’s saved a lot of lives!!
I'm glad you are still alive man. Please try to stay clean as you can and keep your head up. This planet needs more people like yourself.Your story helped me stay away from stuff like this.
I used to say the same shit about dope until it happened to me
I was on heroin for 9 years been clean for 4 years got myself clean all by myself in my house on my couch no meds except ibuprofen and drinking tons of water because dehydration can kill you specially if you go cold turkey...worst month of my life but knowing it was worth it kept me going if anyone is reading this and needs encouraging to quit...you got this man!!! It's worth it 💪.
respect !
Oh my god I can’t even imagine the willpower that took for you to do that.
Hey man I feel you100% I know what u went through and I respect you totally
yes boss man absolute chad
Is it just me or should heroin be legal for recreational use?
if it was legal it would not be cut with fentanyl. if it was legal the potency would be regulated. on the streets the potency ranges from batch to batch. 1 batch might be 20% pure, another might be 80% pure. that is extremely dangerous. if someone is used to the 20% stuff and they try the 80% stuff and take the regular dose, they are going to overdose and die. If it was legal we would have a right to bodily autonomy.
*"NOOO!!! legalizing heroin will turn everyone into heroin addicts"*
really, how so? would you start doing heroin if they legalized it? of course you wouldn't. alcohol and cigarettes are legal, I do not do those. heroin is illegal, but I still do that. you can not criminalize a lifestyle. if being gay was illegal, people would be gay in secret. if being black was illegal, people would be black in secret. if being a heroin user was illegal, people would do heroin in secret.
I lost my dad to an accidental fentanyl overdose on 9/7/22. This video really helped me understand the power of addiction - thank you.
Me to, but it wasnt accidental my dad been on and off dope since the 90's .. he died in 2020.. miss him lots.. OG
Sorry guys for your losses.
I just lost my daughter Oct 25 she relapsed. She was 8 months pregnant. This has been devistating
Condolences for your loss.
I’m sorry for your loss
The moment you know a drug has you, is the moment you realize you can't sleep sober.
Amen brother‼💯 the sad truth
@Beth Ninji so essentially it's the opposite if your withdrawing from speed or coke?
arent you from south africa?
yea i feel that from weed rn..
@@V0ID_beats same
My son died from a mixed drug toxicity, which included heroin, and died alone in the street. This video has given me an answer to a question that I've asked myself daily. Thank you.
Damn I’m sorry that happened to you, man. That sucks. I hope you’re doing good.
😢😢😢 stay strong sir 💪💪💪 life is tough but we have to stay strong I am sorry for your loss 🙏
I’m sorry to hear that brother! Hope you and your family are doing well. Life is unfair.
b
oth my hs friends died like this
Sending you love & I hope you find a way to heal in the best way possible 💚
you know someones a good storyteller when it feels like you're actually having a conversation in person
Bruh i got disappointed when the video ended i thought bruh was still going
@@andy34isabor89what the hell is a bruh?
@@yukonjack. slang variation of "bro", originally from ebonics
@@orfeo793bruh is Bay Area slang
@@yukonjack. lol
What an incredibly eloquent man. He explains heroin so well; the way it creeps up on you, the nauseous feeling then the eventual overdosing.
I imagine this man could write a brilliant book considering his skilled vocal way of explaining specific situations.
I wish him all the best and hope he lives a long and prosperous life.
American people are so depressing. They abuse these extremely important medicines and make problems. Please stop this.
@@creamydistortion Huh? You seem to have completely missed the point of this beautifully detailed anecdote of how someone (regardless of culture) can get taken out by a substance. It's not "depressing" at all. It's educational and needs to be told.
Thats exactly how my grandpa dependant on it for over 20 years would say like he said at the start he always only put a little on his cig and smoke it but did it over and over again thinking its chill cus he didn't even feel rly high
@@Seraphim222 Exactly! It's a very sneaky drug. At first it helps you just like having a panadol or paracetamol when you have a headache. But then suddenly you start thinking about it all the time and your body craves it. Then comes the trouble...
Absolutely
My daughter was a meth/ heroine addict and she has seen plenty of her friends die in their 20's. She was so deep I thought I was going to lose her. She's been 2 years sober and loves her life now. She's 30.
I can't imagine how sad and desperate that would make me feel to have my own daughter addicted to drugs. You poor thing that's brutal. Glad she survived and sober now. Such a relief for you. Take care
I’m also 30. So happy for your and your daughter
@simply Would you share the story in how you found out about your daughter using meth. What age. Did you know she was on meth before you confirmed it. I’m just curious
@@AntonioMartinez-gg5ru it's been so long I can't remember exactly when but she was 20. Her boyfriend had started her out on heroin. She was on that for a few yrs. then it was meth. She told me that her boyfriend( her babies dad) had given her the needle for the first time. She told me everything. She's now 30 and 2 years clean
I'm pleased for you all that she is doing well ♥️
This is classic RUclips, just normal people talking about normal things.
I wouldn’t call it “normal things” but I get your point
@@DarkenedAndrew It was a joke but I appreciate your understanding haha
@@DarkenedAndrew Normal
Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected, the usual, average, or typical state or condition.
Examples:
usual
standard
typical
stock
common
ordinary
customary
conventional
habitual
accustomed
expected
Talking about drugs is a "Normal thing".
haha everybody has a lesson to tell
repent to God
this guy looks like he's got a lot of stories to tell
Probably not, because he's only 24
@@nakatash1977so if a dude goes to war at 18 and cones back at 25, he aint got no stories to tell because hes not old? Anyone who ages 20 years more than the age has one hell of a story to tell.
@@nakatash1977I’m 26 this dude is at least 35 bruh 🤣
He gives off a similar vibe to other rockstars / grunge rockers like Chris Cornell or Layne Staley
@@nakatash1977dude can’t be 24 lol
Before I OD'd, I would always hear about ppl overdosing and I'd think "how can you go back to drugs after something so traumatic??"
Then, when it finally happened to me I got the answer. In a sense, I wasn't really there when it happened. I mean I was there physically, but I wasn't conscious. I basically slept through the traumatic part. My friend and family were the ones who had to go through the traumatic bits of giving me CPR, calling 911, etc. Thus, it's very easy to go back to it after that.
Great insight
Str8up bro. I overdosed twice from fentynal. The heroin wasnt laced....i was shooting fent at the time. From heroin to fent.....man, its a whole other ballgame. U know its bad when u check yourself outta the hospital to go do the rest of the fentynal u just overdosed from.
Never know where your addiction will take you.
@@stephenstuckey hi Stephen. I hope you are able to get off fentanyl and live your life. My 37 yr old cousin od’d 4 times in a week early December and the last time left her in a coma. Now her Mom is with her watching her last kid (her other two sons died and most recent was in July) shake uncontrollably while hooked up to a vent in a coma. Docs say that she will never be the same if she lives and she will be a vegetable requiring 24/7 care. So keep in mind that not all overdoses result in waking up or even death but somewhere in between. God bless and take care ❤ ( edit to add if you have stopped, keep going!)
@@Ladybird5426 hi there, yes i have been clean for about 9 months now(again). I am currently on suboxone which i wish i wasnt but its better than the alternative. Being clean now is the best feeling in the world. I dont plan on going back. Which is why i have to work at it everyday. Everyday making the choice to not use. Life really is better on the other side. Thank u for your comment🐸. Stay safe. Stay sober.
I often wonder how people relapse after being clean for a while. I wouldn't wanna go through the torture of withdrawal again.
So interesting this came up in my feed. I’ve never used hard drugs, never thought about it. I watched… Giving thanks to God you are alive. I don’t know you but know that you are special. Thanks for sharing your story.
Thanks 🙂
Same here! It showed up on my feed and was interesting to watch! Thank you for sharing your story 🙂
Me too.. Couldn't stop watching
Me to bro! Keep doing good family 👍🏼
This just showed up. I don't do drugs, but I follow a couple of people on Utube. Thanks for sharing your story.
Mad respect here. I'm a therapist and worked SUD/dual diagnosis for the first few years of my career. I always love hearing stories, and I appreciate this so much. People need to hear what it's like firsthand.
🙏🙏Blessings forever GOD loves y'all too forever tell everyone you know and don't know. Jesus loves y'all too forever. Teach everyone how to see and enjoy their blessings too forever😊
@@ChargersCity I'm an atheist, but I see you and appreciate the sentiment! I like to think I'm helping people every day with my job. To quote Nietzsche, "To live is to suffer; to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering."
He actually explain it much better.
@@singforyourseltzercamus said, “sisyphus was happy”
@@singforyourseltzerYou are young I’m sure, but if you continue reading the greats you’ll come around on your own. Curtis Jackson - “Sunny days wouldn't be special if it wasn't for rain
Joy wouldn't feel so good if it wasn't for pain. Death gotta be easy, 'cause life is hard. It'll leave you physically, mentally, and emotionally scarred.”
Drugs really do become your best friend and worst enemy at the same time
best and worst of both world 💯
if you call a leech a friend that is
Not just drugs. Food, gambling, sex, money...
@@rodneybiltman2005Fr you gotta repent to Jesus and he will heal you ✝️
if that aint the fuckin truth
Lost 13 years to drugs, clean since 2016. Thank you for sharing your story.
Here we've got LSD, DMT, chocolate bars, shrooms varieties, psilocybin, best therapy for anxiety, depression, ADHD, BIPOLAR, PTSD, we ship internationally
i have the upmost respect for people who can actually come clean, and stay clean, also happy new years!
Pfft lost years to drugs? Damn I thought I was a loser for doing them
@@nomorecomply4044 don’t do heroin, weed is harmless, and just be careful, be aware. If your put in a situation trust your gut then make a decision
I got clean in 16 too from 11yrs on meth.
this is the kind of stuff they should show kids in school, just a bluntly very real experience of what drugs really are instead of just telling them drugs are bad, really insightful thanks for sharing ive always been a dopamine fiend but never hit the harder stuff
Yes
I agree!!! Or police body cams . Scary stuff.
They Will try it anyway, even knowing the truth
The problem with young people (high school age) is they will get interested in whatever interests them anyway. You show the future druggies this video, they will just want to try it to see what it feels like. You can’t change people, they’ll go down whatever path life has in store for them.
This, maybe, bodycams, hellll no @@tthomas6798
Powerful story. I am 6 yrs clean from heroin,and meth. That poison holds you hostage. I have freedom from the bondage of self😊
I genuinely want to know why you believe her story is funny? Have been on drugs or have you experienced a friend or family member that were addicted to drugs?
lol 😂
Congratulations for climbing out of the hell that is addiction 💪
baby girl you are beautiful dont do these kind o' shit to yoself
Keep strong I've been off heroin and meth for three years
Congrats. I got heavily into GHB/GBL and it really messed up my life past year and a half and still slowly trying to get out of it. I hate when people say "well you are smart, how did you get yourself into that" not understanding that, even if that is true, it only means you are better at self rationalizing obviously poor decision making. Who hasn't been addicted can't understand what it means.
I watched the entire 25 minutes of this video and I can honestly say this is one of the best videos on this platform. The best way of explaining something is through the eyes of a man who lived through it. Power to you, and im sure that even if only 1 person who is thinking of doing Heroin watches this video, you have most likely saved their life.
For real, great video & no jump cuts, just a dude in his whip huffin a dart explaining something he went through
I agree I think I can learn a lot from this man so I'ma try to stay close for the good info lol
He is a talented story teller. I hope people listen to him.
Good view on this video. I love that saving lives part.
Sometimes when I close my eyes I can't see
I really appreciate you describing the embarrassment and shame that comes with being an addict in public. No one wants to be out there disturbing people and causing scenes, and it never feels good to hear about it after. Stuff like that lives in memories for a long time.
You should feel embarrassment and shame.
Here's a random neuroscience fact related to this video: Compared to people who do not smoke, people addicted to smoking (regardless of whether or not nicotine is involved) are 40% more likely to develop addictions to other soft drugs (e.g Alcohol, Marijuana, CNS stimulant drugs, DMT, hallucinogens, Psilocybin, etc...) and 80% more likely to develop addictions to hard drugs (e.g Heroin, Cocaine, LSD, Ecstasy, PCP, Ketamine, etc...)
@@nogerboher5266 nice statistics bro, also lsd isn't a hard drug lmaoooo
@@nogerboher5266 LSD isn’t a “hard drug” 💀
@@dankslurp Neuroscientists and country laws say it is.
Lost my parents to it, dad OD’d in 22, and my mom’s barely alive. Don’t do heroin.
im so sorry man. god bless ya.
RIP man
My n my bro are the only ones who fw H my dad was just a str8 up alcoholic. (My dad also died in 2022 RIP- I miss him more than ever)
Ironic cuz I enjoy alcohol now since I can’t deal with doing H or Xans or any of that anymore - been sober n my mind just doesn’t function right sober if I’m being totally honest
I envy people who don’t crave drugs at all I’ve been sober for long periods of time & the simple fact is no matter how long I go sober it doesn’t help the way my brain works at all whatsoever that’s why I need THC or Kratom to stay sane
I am so sorry. I lost my first cousin who was younger and dear to me. He was so funny and such a little smart azz. Anyway he went to jail for 3 or 4 months for possession and came out and OD-ed. It happens to so many addicts. I don't understand why jails don't prepare people better for life on the outside. Locking an addict up for 3 or 4 months and letting them go is murder. I have also known people who were clean and found some old stash they lost - took it and died. It is poison.
Don't do it and I say don't hang out with people who do it. A best friend of mine started using meth and I cut my ties with her. I can't tolerate it around me and my family. Desperate people are dangerous. Never let them near you.
That’s really sad ‘ but u can be a great person in life . I was on h’ for years clean six years now have two girls put them through some crap . All good now all happy. Lost my partner to it . Totally eats u up if u let it . ….. we are not our parents 🤪💋…….. Jh .. England 🏴
Same for me. Lost my stepdad in 2018, and my mom in 2020.
I OD'd on fentanyl on April 19 of this year. Everything he said is spot on. I was catatonic before I nodded off and couldn't move or speak and the next thing I knew I was waking up in a hospital 2 days later. Thank God for naracan. I'll be 6 months clean in a couple weeks.
Congrats!!
Did you get back into drugs already?
Been a heroin addict for 10 years. I'm 8 months sober now with the exception of being on the sublocade shot. I just lost my best friend a month ago to a fent od. It's been tough dealing with his loss. Prayers for all the people out there still struggling in active addiction. Don't be afraid to get help it's never too late.
sending love to you bro. proud of you for quitting
@@alexferanna thanks
Yo dude I’m close to ya! I’m 9 months sober off the shit! Congratulations
And I haven’t had a sublocade shot in 3 months!
@@Natedav51 that's great man! Yea I just started my sublocade I'm going back on the 3rd to get my second 300mg shot from my doctor in Baton Rouge. It's supposed to be 4 shots/4 months. 2 300's and 2 100's But I heard a lot of ppl say that when they got that last shot they was good like they never felt any withdrawals whatsoever like it slowly leaves your system ya know, I guess that's why. That's a hell of a lot better than the hell you go through trying to quit the strips. I never could get off the strips without giving in I tried 2 different times to cold turkey from 8mg man that was a bitch! I was 3 months into detoxing and I still felt like shit and both times I couldn't take it anymore and ended up taking sub again or kratom or anything that would give me some kind of relief. Not to mention how bad the strips f****d my teeth up man I mean they literally wiped them all out almost and now I'm gonna need implants. I used to have good teeth. But I'm actually part of a class action lawsuit against the pharmaceutical company that makes suboxone because it messed up so many people's teeth and the doctors didn't know to tell anyone for so long because they had no idea and now everyone that been on subs for as long as me are complaining about their teeth. If anybody that reads this is interested in being a part of the lawsuit because suboxone ruined your teeth, dm me on Facebook Seth Pujol I'll tell you who to contact. you could very well get compensation for it. I'm hoping I do. At least so I could get some new teeth.
How nice of you to share your story, may it inspire others. Bless you, Joey. Bless those who are fighting their own battles. Stay strong! ❤️
Thanks for the super my friend. Merry Christmas and may it come back to you times ten.
Bros gonna use that money for heroin
lemme get 10 $jaayskki
@@jayhated9ix lmfao
10 bucks, how much heroin can that get you
My mother was hooked on Heroin when I was growing up. She had a boyfriend who helped her get deep on it. Watched her when I was a little boy just fall apart slowly. The abscesses, the constant sleeping during the day. Loopy conversations even I thought where odd when I was like 7-8 years old. Hallucinations she would have and think they where real. ETC. It made me so sick, and confused, and sad, and scared, and lost. I lost her back then really. She stopped being my mom and started just... slipping away in front of me. I never really recovered from it. She died to me, really. A walking echo in a dark cave of her past self. Then came methadone.. it doesn't end.
That guy, her boyfriend, one night did some of the stuff, ran a bath, did some more, then they slept together and he died in a puddle of his own vomit in his sleep, in her bed, one room over from me. She then tried off-ing herself soon after. I saw it happen, I was maybe 9 years old...
I just hope someone reading this can understand these decisions can have DRASTIC, life changing impacts on those around you. I don't know if I will ever recover from this mentally and I never did the drugs. Wont ever do drugs like this. Period. Made a promise to myself I won't break from the pain I felt. Wouldn't want to wish it upon anyone else.
But yet I still live in their fallout in many ways. Please find it in yourself to take a look around, and within before doing this. If you are in pain, its for a reason. You can fix it if you accept it won't be easy, and take pride in the fact nothing great comes to those with little for free. Ever. Take pride in not buckling, and move forward. Life isn't easy, for anybody. Be an inspiration for those who are in the same shoes, and you will save.. who knows how many people.
I love you. Don't ever fall into that trap.
You have similar people who went through similar things. And didn't break and use either.
You got this!
I always wonder how's kid life is to have drug addict parents. Personally, I knew some fucked up families where they raped each other but they didn't do drugs.
@@kurrwa Its never good. I have met a few people, one of which a friend who had drug addict parents. Thank God I had my father, who got clean before I was born and became a better man. I will always look up to him, got his act together and basically raised me sober. Worked for everything he has. Couldn't have been easy.
But a lot of kids don't even have that. My friend, her parents are both on meth and we are 23 now. Just two absent, probably abusive parents that never set that kid up for life. Just constant confusion, and sorrow. Its a travesty. Travesty to be an addict, a greater one to be born in the midst of it.
So sorry. I wish you all the best!!!!
Where was your dad
I’m glad you’re still with us Joey. Thank you for sharing your story man.
One of my friends was an addict. Was clean for 7 years. Then one October he decided to start using again and overdosed that night…after 7 years man. For anyone out there that has been clean, please stay strong and keep your guard up because it can still come after you years later.
It's one of the most dangerous thing you can do,to abstain for a period so your tolerance drops and then go do your usual amount of Heroin and its goodnight Vienna!😎🤔💕🖖
Most people are dying from fentanyl
I’m sorry for your loss and I can attest that you can’t let your guard down! I had a decade clean and had one bad day where I didn’t pick up the phone and call someone and I relapsed. I have years of sobriety under my belt again now thankfully
I literally can't imagine a situation in which I would find myself buying another bag of heroin. I somehow missed the curse of euphoric recall.
Yeah people think they can take the amount they used to take and that's how it usually happens
“I had been turning it down my whole life up until this point”….wow that speaks volumes about how addiction runs through families, communities, towns, generations. It also speaks to how addiction can sometimes be a slow steady process that sneaks up until it’s too late. I’ve never even seen heroin let alone tried it, it astounds me that one would have to be exposed to it their whole life.. 😢
Nowadays, its way too easy to be exposed to it thanks to the internet.
Vaping dank is better
Look hard enough you find it misery loves company I have overdoses 8 times I been clean 9 months I was on dope 9 years God is good and he is real put your faith and trust in God your not alone
It is always a slow and steady process. Addiction never comes over night.
How much weight is a $10 bag? Thanks
You’ve done something good for the world by sharing this. Maybe people will think twice before dabbling.
Amen
Is it just me or should heroin be legal for recreational use?
if it was legal it would not be cut with fentanyl. if it was legal the potency would be regulated. on the streets the potency ranges from batch to batch. 1 batch might be 20% pure, another might be 80% pure. that is extremely dangerous. if someone is used to the 20% stuff and they try the 80% stuff and take the regular dose, they are going to overdose and die. If it was legal we would have a right to bodily autonomy.
*"NOOO!!! legalizing heroin will turn everyone into heroin addicts"*
really, how so? would you start doing heroin if they legalized it? of course you wouldn't. alcohol and cigarettes are legal, I do not do those. heroin is illegal, but I still do that. you can not criminalize a lifestyle. if being gay was illegal, people would be gay in secret. if being black was illegal, people would be black in secret. if being a heroin user was illegal, people would do heroin in secret.
American people are so depressing... They choose heroin because their lives are so boring and unsatisfying. It's not like that in better countries.
@@based_mediumchungus1788I’m with you. Harm reduction all the way
@@based_mediumchungus1788 we can't be black in secret but otherwise valid
My dad OD’d September 2020. He had a heart of gold I miss him so much
@@ImmortalSc4rsuit up queen
@@ImmortalSc4r wow man you really think you're cool now?
sorry for your loss
@@ImmortalSc4r dbag troll!🙄🙄🙄
I'm so sorry for your loss! Losing people to addiction/alcoholism is never easy! Sending you love! ❤❤❤
This was just a random suggestion in my sidebar. stayed all the way. Amazing storyteller. Stay clean, you are a cool dude sir.
I love that you speak as if your talking directly to me in person, having a conversation with me, and hanging out. Thank you for sharing your story. ❤️
I relate to this so much. I’m 34 years old and starting using heroin at 15 years old. Used for over 15 years and got clean 4 years ago. So many unconscious moments, slowed respiration, waking up not knowing what happened. Embarrassing. I am so beyond grateful that I was able to get clean after endless treatment centers, jails prisons & relapses. Thank you for reminding me of where I came from❤
Congrats on being and staying clean hope all is well your way take care.
Love you Becka💕
at 15,?
who tf starts heroin at 15. but good job staying sober
@@Burkiiiooobro people do crystal meth at 13 to 14. it just depends on their tolerance
You‘re a good storyteller. Could listen to you all day long.
I survived a 20 year heroin habit, I’m happy to say it’s behind me going on 3 years. Just know it’s possible if your dealing with this demon.
Good job man! You fought a deadly disease and won. Much respect.
20 years, holy shit. It's a miracle you're even alive. Absolutely incredible that you were able to quit. You're a goddamn legend m8
Is it just me or should heroin be legal for recreational use?
if it was legal it would not be cut with fentanyl. if it was legal the potency would be regulated. on the streets the potency ranges from batch to batch. 1 batch might be 20% pure, another might be 80% pure. that is extremely dangerous. if someone is used to the 20% stuff and they try the 80% stuff and take the regular dose, they are going to overdose and die. If it was legal we would have a right to bodily autonomy.
*"NOOO!!! legalizing heroin will turn everyone into heroin addicts"*
really, how so? would you start doing heroin if they legalized it? of course you wouldn't. alcohol and cigarettes are legal, I do not do those. heroin is illegal, but I still do that. you can not criminalize a lifestyle. if being gay was illegal, people would be gay in secret. if being black was illegal, people would be black in secret. if being a heroin user was illegal, people would do heroin in secret.
Is it just me or should heroin be legal for recreational use?
if it was legal it would not be cut with fentanyl. if it was legal the potency would be regulated. on the streets the potency ranges from batch to batch. 1 batch might be 20% pure, another might be 80% pure. that is extremely dangerous. if someone is used to the 20% stuff and they try the 80% stuff and take the regular dose, they are going to overdose and die. If it was legal we would have a right to bodily autonomy.
*"NOOO!!! legalizing heroin will turn everyone into heroin addicts"*
really, how so? would you start doing heroin if they legalized it? of course you wouldn't. alcohol and cigarettes are legal, I do not do those. heroin is illegal, but I still do that. you can not criminalize a lifestyle. if being gay was illegal, people would be gay in secret. if being black was illegal, people would be black in secret. if being a heroin user was illegal, people would do heroin in secret.
@@based_mediumchungus1788 has to be the dumbest shit i ever read
I turned it down for 2 years regularly. Then I tried it and got hooked for 7 years. I tried and tried to stop . The only way I stopped completely was to move to another country and start over . That was in 2008 . I am now happy married with a family. You need to get away from old friends and hangouts.
Yea it helps to be in a new setting
Been off heroin since 2004. I had to move from Greece to the us to get away
Glad to hear you made it out. It took me overdosing and going to prison when I got out I never forgot the feeling of waking up in the ambulance and thinking how much hurt it would cause if it didn’t make it.
What was the dope price and availability like in Greece?@@sophiagtube
@@ZiggzMcGeebro 😂
I lost my brother Mark to a Fentanyl overdose last year. He taught me the ropes in the field of work I'm in even though he struggled with his own problems, he'd always find a way to make you laugh. Working as a contractor at the age of 20 and me being the smallest and weakest, I had a hard time keeping up with crew. Mark being the guy he was, never saw that in me. He told me I could do anything the rest of the crew could do only if I was willing to learn. I remember mark telling me that he got high on dope one weekend, and something felt different. He goes "Yo bro I think they're putting something in the shit." His childhood friend found him in his apartment some following months after. I'm now 22 and still working with the crew. Though it was a shot to the chest to lose someone close, we honor him through our work an even have a drink or two for the holidays so he's not missing out. RIP Mark!
I can't imagine the pain of losing a brother. Makes me not able to sleep.
Rest easy on the wings of eternity Mark 🙏🏻
RIP Mark, sounded like an uplifting dude.
I'm really sorry man, he sounds like a wonderful person.
My brother died from it 2 weeks ago feel ya get off them drugs kids
You look great and I hope you’re staying clean. If nobody has told you today, I’m proud of you and I think you inspired many people who were/ are stuck there. 💜
There’s always a line between dosing to get high and then dosing just to feel normal. When you cross the line, the drug has you. You’ll never get that same high and people spend the rest of their lives trying to find it again. Without it your happy is nothing and your low is real real low. Everyday is just a hustle and trying not to get sick. One of the hardest part of quitting is figuring out what to do when you realize how much time was dedicated to staying well. The big void that makes so many slip.
A moment for all who now rest in peace
I am an addict, married, and a father of 4 kids…the best advice i can offer anyone reading this is…if you’ve never tried whatever drug it is, keep it that way. The natural, healthy high you are born with is more than enough (and the best way) to experience life at its fullest. Drugs will drag you down into the darkest pits you could possibly imagine, and once you are hooked, you will have to spend the rest of your life fighting those demons when you should be spending that time loving your family…it can be done, it can be overcome, but the battle is not easy.
I feel you so much, man. Married, 3 kids, I managed to get clean and stayed clean for years. I recently relapsed, I suspect because of the clinical depression I suffered from since I was a teen (undiagnosed because it was the early 1980s), coupled with stress, and it is just so difficult...I look into my kids' eyes and I feel like spitting in my own face...which of course compounds the cravings...and so it goes, a merry-go-round of fucked up-ness. And I heartily concur with your valuable advice: just don't fucking touch that shit. What you don't know you don't miss. It may take a year, it may take five, it may take ten, but it will eventually take over your life. It is amazing how a simple powder can eventually kill your soul. Words fail me....
@@giorgiocurcetti4001 Your soul isn't dead man you can still do anything you want. Nobody is blaming you and if they are, they don't understand. Also it saddens me you feel like spitting in your own face; I think you're already punishing yourself enough.
I promise you can get through this if you want to. Crazy how good the brain is at adjusting, don't listen to this disease model bs where people say things like "once an addict, always an addict". Comments like that crush valuable dreams
Facts bro! It's a battle everyday! I've lost that battle on many occasions! It's harder than anything I have ever dealt with.
@@faliento5012 thanks so much for your comforting words. You are a good person. It is just....so hard. Thanks for your understanding and empathy. The world as a whole could use more of people like you...
Agreed. Especially when it comes to that socially acceptable drug, alcohol. Wish i never tried it at the age of 14 to cope with my anxiety caused by this god awful existence.
Thanks so much for the video. Your honesty and transparency about heroin and rehab journey are so admirable. I’ve been addicted to coke and you’re right, that shit hits like lightning 😅 After a while of almost ODing and pushing my limits, and getting kicked out of rehab because I couldn’t stay clean, it stuck with me what path I was on. Was in therapy once with a guy in his 50s who survived many ODs, a whole stroke, and even being shot, amongst his struggles with divorce and strained relationship with his son etc. His stories stay in my mind. And yours will too. Glad I’m sober now and didn’t start on fentanyl or heroin. Glad you’re also sober now, that shit can be really fucking hard. Thanks again for sharing. Sending love brother. Hope everything keeps getting better for you. ❤️
Ooo money
@@KESTRAL23🤦🏽♂️
19:51
Why does it say $9.99 on this comment? I’m confused
@@tinamariemiller.96 he donated 9.99$ what’s there to get confused about
Thanks for sharing, mate! I'm glad to hear you kicked it, and I hope you'll never be tempted by it again.
I experienced the EXACT same thing multiple times when I was addicted to Alcohol and Xanax… couple 4-5 bars a day with either a full bottle of liquor or 18-24 case of beer… was so bad when I would wake up my fingers and toes would be blue! Coming up on 5 years clean from Xanax and 2 years from alcohol and other recreational drugs. Best decisions of my life! Down 100+ lbs and look 10 years younger!! LIFE IS WORTH FIGHTING FOR!!!
You, sir, are an admirable badass!
Glad you doin aight bruv
I’ve struggled with Xanax as well for a long time. It was the only drug that landed me in jail and caused me to really do some wild shit, horrible, horrible drug. Congratulations for beating it brother
@@mikekell920 xanax is fucked man. The worst thing for me was seeing the way my family looked at me the next day - the disappointment in their eyes, and having no idea why. shit sticks with you
xans are fucking torture to get off man very impressed and happy for you
stay strong i’m glad you’re doing well
You my man are a fucking hero. You gave me an inside look on what people on the street might be going through and I've never heard someone explain addiction in such a clear and relatable way. Keep doing what you do, you help a lot of people!
Joey..lost my Daughter 3/27/22 to combination of alcohol and drugs one being Fentanyl.My life has been forever shattered.
She even tried the Suboxion but was a strict program and wasn't willing to go through it, found another Dr to write for Oxycodone went through all of them got on Fentanyl. I'll never understand..but watching your video helped me to know how bad addiction can be and how she must have suffered & struggled off & on for many years.I miss her so much. Good for you to break the chains.Good luck & take care.
0:42 there’s your problem. Happy you’re still alive. Can’t let those people stick around even if you want the best for them.
Worst part of an OD is waking up after the narcan shot,in full blown withdrawal.The OD itself is painless.I got clean right before the fetty hit the street.I was blessed.
Dude that narcan is something serious
I quit in 2020 and am fully convinced that had I continued I would’ve died. Even after quitting, hearing about them $10 30mg fake blues had me tempted but within weeks of them appearing people around me started dropping like flies while the dboys started catching murder charges.
It’s terrifying out there currently and only getting worse.
@@jeremywanner4526 once, over twenty years ago, I did something really stupid: I had taken smack maybe eight hours prior, and I was craving for more. A friend gave me some subutex, the heavy duty 10 mg pills, which I crushed and proceeded to snort. I had used street Subutex extensively in the past, to get over withdrawal while trying to hold down a steady job, and it always went ok, but this time I was catapulted into a full-blown withdrawal, worse than any natural withdrawal I had ever experienced. That night I really thought I was going to die. It felt just so unbelievably bad. I spent the next day slowly getting back to "normality" (whatever that is for a junkie like me). I never touched Subutex ever again after that. Methadone served me well, and it is fine. I suppose being brought back with Narcan must feel like what I have experienced....
Lucky
@@chinese_botI started my addiction in 2021 thanks to the blues lol, those things are evil. I was wanting to try opiates since I was experimenting with every drug since 2020 and never got addicted to any of the other drugs but blues/fent was the only shit in my area at the time I could find so I just did tiny amounts of the blues. I was on blues for a little under a year and had my life ripped apart and became an entirely different person. Those things turned me into the biggest fiend. Thank god for Suboxone, Im almost 3yrs clean
My ex boyfriend died from a fentanyl laced heroin overdose.. I loved him very much, but we just didn't work out. I tried many times to get him help, and I realized I was addicted to helping him as bad as he was addicted to heroin... so I had to leave and get help myself. I had hoped he would have done the same, but unfortunately it didn't work out that way. I will always have a place in my heart for him.
Rest in peace, Jacob Franklin Welty. 💔
Genuinely sorry for your loss 🙏🏻
I hope it’s easier for you now.
Bless you
I hope your story helps someone who needs to hear this. Thanks for sharing your struggle with drug addiction and homelessness. 🙏♥️
I had no idea it was an option to snort heroin, your story was really insightful, thankyou for your vulnerability and I'm so proud of you❤
I was on it 2 years, I'm 6 months sober, and I ONLY snorted. Never used a needle, and couldn't smoke it because it was always too cut. Bad part of living so close to the Chi
This is a fact that makes heroin seem less scary. I had always thought of heroin addicts as people who shot up. I was shown that it could be snorted, and I thought it wasn't as bad as shooting up. Wrong. I've been clean for 3yrs, lost my husband in 2021 to an OD. It's taken me years to quit craving that high, but here I am. Each day isn't easy, but I remind myself that everyday is a day my husband wishes he'd be here.
1st time I seen it snorted, I was in county waiting in the holding tank right b4 being sent to general population. This dude got up and sat on the toilet wich was about 4feet away, he reached back and pulled out a baggy from his a-hole... and somehow he had a 🥄... Proceed to scoop some water and mixed it with black and snorted it. Dude was so generous he shared with other's 😂😂
This is a very informative video. I’m a former Heroin addict myself. 4 years clean. Your totally right about how the addiction creeps up on you. One day your splitting a bag with you buddy next your buying a bundle a day from whatever you stole to feed the addiction. I didn’t even realize how much of a nightmare it was until I finally got clean.
Stay strong, brother.
That’s exactly how it works. Gets out of control quick to. Especially if it’s a relapse. First time takes a little longer but relapsing will get out of control immediately
Respect for you getting clean. Welcome back to living. Good work!
@@reddiver7293 thanks bro. I’m lucky that I have a good support system in my life. Trying to get off that shit is lonely enough but not having friends or family to back you up makes you feel even more isolated.
Addiction and drug abuse runs in my family and I have witnessed it ever since a little girl. Growing up, I have always told myself I will never try Heroin and I still stand on that. However, after listening to your wisdom, I know even better now to not fall for the sneaky traps of cheese that the enemy will lay out. So I thank you and I appreciate you, because potentially you are saving a lot of souls from falling down that rabbit hole. God bless your soul. 🙏
Ya know how you have four grandparents? Your mothers parents and your fathers parents. Well 3/4 of my grandparents used needles
@@chicodaboi174 Damn… that is horrible and I am sorry you’ve had this experience. It’s unfortunate how toxic coping mechanisms or a “fun time” can spread like a virus if one is not too careful or thinking consciously. Idk exactly how that has effected you but presumably not the best. Im assuming since 3/4 of your grandparents were addicts, the chances of acquiring such a generational trauma is quite high..? And for the ones who come after them, must take heed to this since it becomes an opportunity to break addiction out of the bloodline. Whether this has become your mission to do or not, sending you love, light, and prosperity! ! !
@@lil8lien thanks for the kind words
Its not choosy of running in your family.its your family choosing to run in heroins family.
Amen
This was the video I never knew I needed to see but I'm glad I did. My best friend of over 15 years had a severe heroin addiction. He ended up contracting HIV from a shared needle in the last year of his life. He died of a heroin overdose in the streets on 3/20/2022. It still hurts like shit to know I'll never see him again but at least now I know he didn't go in pain.
Thank you for sharing your story brother. I'm glad you were able to turn your life around.
He was letting guys do him in the butt to get his next fix. We all know that.
Ive lost many people from drug related issues and ods. I am legitimately so happy for you man that you are here making videos and talking about it.I hope you will always be alright and out of shit.Just have fun
It’s 4am & this randomly came in my feed. I’ve never done hard drugs but always curious about them because people give up everything over them. I seriously was glued to this video & did laugh here and there. Your super cool dude.😂
It's 11pm here I am this came in my recommendation
Haha good story
My old boy died of a overdose back when I was younger, never really shook it but hearing this video kinda weirdly eased a lot of stuff I thought about. joe the jypsy make sure you don’t relapse mate keep on going sober, gods on your side. 🤙 I don’t know ya but I’m on your side too mate keep clean. Enjoy every single day. these people need helped not hated. peace out.
Ty
i lost my highschool best friend to the needle. it makes me so happy knowing theres people out here beating the shit back out of their lives.
we are happy to see you here brother, may your sobriety bring you peace.
Thx for sharing buddy. I hope you’re doing fine these days.
🙏🙏Blessings forever GOD loves y'all too forever tell everyone you know and don't know. Jesus loves y'all too forever. Teach everyone how to see and enjoy their blessings too forever😊❤
I was on crack and heroin for 23 years I am now 42 and clean for 4 years done it all on my own. I also stopped drinking alcohol. It was a damn hard struggle but coz I wanted to get clean, again, I was fully focused and still am,it was easier than I thought. There's no such word as can't. Good luck to those who are in the struggle. Life gets better trust me.👍😇🙏💪🏋️
Do you smoke grass or no?
Hell yeah, I do that helped me to cope with the boredom of not jacking up and drinking alcohol
Going rehab tomorow 16years on and off So its gonna be couple of days like gtf cau
@@darrendoyle4396im only 20 and just want to do that instead of anything crazier. shrooms (only recommend microdosing) and cid occasionally but havent done anything crazier than that. i love my body so i never really try to abuse it other than that exotic za. but it’s still so scary being hooked on something other than that i bet. congratulations on your sobriety brother
My father was addicted to heroin for a long time; For most of my childhood and young adult life, about 20+ years. He's been clean 8 years now and I'm so proud of him because I can just imagine how tough it is! A few years ago he was diagnosed with liver cancer (understandably so) but he survived that too. God really had his hand on him throughout his journey of life. Congratulations on your sobriety and thank you for sharing your story with such transparency. Peace be the journey. ♥️
Tell him how proud you are whenever you remember
Drugs are no joke, and don’t treat it lightly. I’m glad your still around to share your story, much love mate ❤
Agreed
@@vitocorleone2517 I’m glad you agree 😊
My man described how it gets you slowly over time perfectly.
I never had h before I used to be a crack/coke addict and this coming March will be 2 years. I am soo proud of you. Thank you for sharing your story♥️
Stay strong, sis.
I’m a recovering addict (cocaine), i came back from rehab 2 months ago. Thank you for this video, brought me to tears to realize how much i can identify myself with you. It’s a very hard battle to go through and i’m just happy i can say every day: today i will maintain sober. A day at a time. Lots of love ❤️
What do you feel high on cocaine
Keep up the battle you can do this ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Well done on your sobriety. Long may it continue, a day at a time 🙏🏻
Everyday is a day stronger.
Damn it even gets the pretty girls lmao I’ve tried coke never got addicted Idk how you get addicted to it I would still accept a little bump
You are lucky i read this comment. The ultimate solution to your problems is.... EAT 3.5 grams of magic mushrooms on empty stomach. Guaranteed results. thank me later.
This is incredibly insightful. Thank you for strengthening my empathy for the addicts in my life. Ive never done hard drugs so I never realized how crazy easy it is to get addicted to this shit.
i don’t leave comments often, but your a very well spoken person and i could listen to all of your story’s. u sound like a great guy 💪
Joey bro...i just happened to stumble upon this video randomly. Just wanted to say GOOD JOB bro. I know it ain't easy! But you did it. You seem like a real likeable guy, a real cool dude. Stay strong!! You got this!
its the subwoofer man
@@fendyboi404 subwoofers save lives
Amen
After you get on H for a while, it seems so normal and you forget what being drug-free normal feels like. This reduces your will to get off of it. If you start at a young enough age you never learn how to cope with life's challenges and disappointment because you can always avoid the problem & stress by getting high again. Great recovery story Joey, Thank you and I wish you continued success in life.
Not just H though, that's literally the cycle of addiction
this is the kind of open discussion that drugs need instead of fearfully banning and criminalizing it
Amazing video.. It’s crazy how many people go through so much traumas from this abusive drugs. Heroin addiction actually destroyed my life, i suffered severe depression and mental disorder, not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Lost my sister nearly 6 years ago. She was 44. We tried to save her but couldn’t. It’s a regret I can’t get rid of. I miss her even though I hated her for what she became. I love you always Nikki. Thanks for your sharing your story with us man. Glad your better.
My sister passed away from heroin overdose when I was 15, I always wondered if it was painless when she went and it’s reassuring to hear it probably was. Thanks for the video!
@Dap3tan! ❌TRIGGER WARNINGS GUYS: I am about to discuss what happened to me and what I can and cannot remember during an OD from Fentanyl and H. 🔞 READ CAUTIOUSLY IF YOU’RE SENSITIVE: Now to @Dap3tan! …I promise you, it was 💯 completely painless for her. I know this for a fact. She did NOT feel any pain or suffering at all as it’s as easy as falling asleep. Actually, if I wanna be honest, it’s easier. Your body TAKES A NAP FOR YOU no matter if you were just standing on your feet. It happens very quickly as I put a tiny bit of powder down and that’s all it took. I must’ve practically instantaneously fallen into the OD right then and there. I don’t remember doing this but I pulled on all the shell decorations and perfume bottles I had on the sink down with me, but that’s the exact second it took to take me down. Hit this tiny little brown tiny little “bump?” Then I just looked up and boom, lights are out. I promise you, the things others horrifyingly sometimes see of when someone is in the middle of their OD (like not being able to get oxygen or even seizure type movements) may look as if that person is feeling all of it, but they are NOT. I received CPR from the medics, I guess I had some stuff around my mouth, but no vomit on the floor. I feel so bad talking about this, but I want you to know that when this happens to people who OD that most of it is unintentional. I am so so sad and so sorry for your loss this is so difficult for me to share at all. I feel like she was probably just gonna do that real quick and then carry on with her normal day like I was. Anyway, I’m trying to put it way past me as I feel a tremendous guilt putting others through my OD as witnesses/victims who had to see that. Nobody should ever have to lose someone to drugs. 💔😢I am contemplating sharing my story both with fentanyl (it was prescribed) and then the one and only time I ever tried H and od’d. (I woke up in an ambulance). Again, I’m so sorry for your families loss. 💔
🔞 🚫 Details: Another trigger coming up. I wanted to edit here as I may not want to say anything elsewhere unless it helps just one person, then I will. There aren’t many stories of people telling you what happened during a fentanyl OD because they’re all gone. They just don’t make it to tell their story. I really wanna stress the fact that I was in it pretty deep as far as the OD goes. This one, simple time, a small line is ALL it took. I must’ve crashed down and hit my head either on or near the toilet, I did not feel it. My heart rate was down to approx 8 beats a minute, I was a grey/blue in color and my lips were purple. I was also “snoring” very deep- which again is the body struggling to make an unconscious body breathe. I did not feel a thing. The paramedics performed DEEP chest compressions, didn’t feel that either- until way later when I saw the bruises on my chest from it. It took Two doses of Narcan stabbed into me (I didn’t feel that) to start to wake me. I never felt any of those things before I started to come through finally in the ambulance. After; I woke up so very confused. The Narcan felt like sharp ice going though my body, I could not get warm. I felt like I was just laying on a metal slab which was cold as well. Then the Narcan was zooming though my body as if I had taken 20 shots of some super espresso, yet my arms were clenching tight around me to be the smallest ball I could make myself in. My teeth held a clench in them too. I was freezing from the inside and couldn’t really understand why, and why they wouldn’t let me just close my eyes. “Stay with me” is all I kept hearing plus stats of me as if I was an experiment. It was humiliating and terrible, but the worst was having to face my family afterwards. My two boys and my husband. I felt nothing but pain and shame. So for your angel sister, she went incredibly peacefully. She had no idea that her body was struggling, and fighting because she felt peaceful and quiet. So I can at least with confidence declare that She did not feel a single thing. I never tried that stuff since. Not even once because sometimes just ONCE is all it takes. This was almost 10 years ago. NEVER AGAIN. ❌😭😭😭 I hope this wasn’t too graphic for you or anyone. I just wanted to let you know what could’ve been her state and hopefully deter anyone else from doing this. Not to mention the police all in my hospital room asking me so many questions, I was so confused, but they did not leave. About a week later, I called the ambulance who saved me as well as the responding officers to thank them for saving my life. They said that nobody ever calls. I’m thinking it’s because we lose too many to this horror. I am sorry. Please erase or ask me to if this is too much. I’ve never shared my story before. I just hope this helped you somehow. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm so fucking sorry. My brother overdosed and died in 2015. We both started using send 2002 and I was able to clean around 2012, but he just couldn't. I had to watch him slowly kill himself for years.
It was very clear it was painless. He didn't even get the chance to take the needle out of his arm.
But I promise it was painless. Any pain that they could have been feeling, they didn't notice. They were just asleep. This is the only condolence I have about losing my brother. Honestly, it's the best way I can think to go. You just go to sleep feeling wonderful and just don't wake up.
Again, I'm so sorry. I know there aren't words and "I'm sorry" doesn't mean much. Just know that you're not alone, and she didn't suffer.
I OD'd. it was the most peaceful feeling i've ever felt. Even knowing I took way too much and was dying. Before being brought back to life.
@@ThisIsIt-uc3ch-vc1bdcould you tell me what you saw or what you felt?
@saghar4831 just felt absolute peace and euphoria. Knew I took too much but didn't care.
Wow, you really described how addiction creeps up on a person over time.
you such a good story teller. i was hooked every single second and didnt feel the urge to fast forwarding even once.
I'm not sure how you ended up in my recommended, but you just gained another person rooting for you and wishing you nothing but the best. Much love man.
Dont remember the last time a youtube video absolutely commanded my attention like this one did. You are a great story teller.
The 'I Don't want to die, but if it happens, it happens'... man, I feel you. Thank you for this video and all the best
That's how I felt EVERYDAY using, I would do massive shots hoping I'd OD!!!
Thankfully I've just celebrated 14 years off coke & heroin yesterday, after 20+ years of extreme abuse, I'm so happy I never succeeded on over dosing, I now have a son, & see there's so much worth living for!💯👍
This is a cool dude right here , he is one of those real folks that are hard to find and he’s a real good storyteller.I could sit and talk and listo him all day and probably have a good time hanging out with him.I was a heroin addict for 2 years so I know he’s spot on ❤
this is literally exactly how i became an addict. same exact story. been off it just over 12 years now.
Stay strong, brother.
@@zfgnerdlife 🙏🙏
Strong mindset brother 🏆
Thank you for sharing this story. You are really good at telling stories!
May you be happy and free from suffering.
I can see you have a lot of self respect and that’s very admirable. To a new year of a better life!👏
Thank you for sharing this. I started on f when I got kicked off my lifesaving pain medication that I was taking for arachnoiditis during the crackdown. Kicked off because of the generic bs "we don't want you to get addicted" excuse, except my pain obviously didn't go anywhere so I just ended up doing bags. 5 years, 4 ODs, countless near ODs, destroyed credit, a bank account constantly going between just barely hitting $0 and -$700 because I had to keep having people cash checks for me to overdraw it, every penny I had saved from before I started down the drain, getting robbed at gunpoint multiple times, but I made it out. I don't think you ever get over the guilt of "why did I make it out instead of them?" with the people you lose, but I guess we're still here for a reason. 100% wishing you the best bro God bless
I appreciate this video a lot man, truly. In 2020, my dad OD'd on heroin. I found him. I spent a while questioning if he was in fear or in pain when he passed, and I appreciate your perspective on things. It keeps me hopeful. Seeing someone who's gone through what he went through tell their story comforts me. I'm glad that there are ways to treat this disease, and I'm happy you're alive. Keep telling your story. It means a lot
I lost a really good friend to Heroin. He was so fucking brilliant and kind. He overdosed the day he got out of rehab. I'm glad you got out alive💚
Rehab can kill sadly my condolences
❤ that happens quite a bit
he should have said no to drugs
Very sorry this happened. May he be remembered and rest in peace
How many of those people wake up in an eternal punishment scenario in H e Double Hockey sticks and can't get out??
I have so much respect for the fact that you shared this with the world. When you talked about life being a chore and not caring it really hit a chord with me. I have never been addicted to drugs but I struggle with depression and that is exactly how it feels when I get really low, life feels like a chore and I feel like a completely different being, and it makes me feel like I don't care about anything to the point of feeling suicidal. To anyone out there that struggles with these things, you are worth it and you have a purpose in this life whether you know it or not. God speed.
You give me that or psilocybin and I know for a fact id have a gallon if vodka 7n me and ud empty my bank account to see how much I could bring back whipping a couple ozs
Hey man I really feel you on this one, but I promise you that depression goes away and all of those bad thoughts on wanting to end you’re life will too. Everything is going to be okay. God bless you and I hope you get through you’re depression fast 🙏🏼❤️
@@slattmarlon5266 I'm depressed for a reason, and it's never going away. The reason is not allowed to be discussed on youtube, but anyone who isn't depressed by it is quite naive/ignorant. I'm envious of them tbh
Very well told and articulated. I just couldn't stop listening. Glad you're out of that evil trap.
I watched this because I need to understand this addiction. My ex-husband and father of my daughter is a heroin addict. He has ODd several times. He was life flighted the last time. Thank you for helping me to understand how this happens. I am so glad you got clean. ❤️
It’s hell the physical and mental WITHDRAWL. Only feel sorry for addicts it’s truly heartbreaking disease
It always creeps up on you
My experience was, I have to use becuz if I dont, Ill be incapable of working or even self care while withdrawing, its hard to break the cycle of withdrawal leaves you w the inability to even accomplish normal daily tasks.
The with drawls are so brutal the people do for it just shows people would sell there mom and their kids for it it’s a demon it’s self u get clean and it always comes back stay strong 8 months sober 🎉
I've never done heroin but I was addicted to oxycodone for 15 year's went clean for 12 days by myself and it was horrible, I've relapsed a few times until I get back track . 🤗 To everyone
I've been a substance abuse Counsellor, working with addicts for 10 years now and I've never seen them as anything less than troubled individuals who need help & compassion.
Addiction can and does happen to anyone & everyone.
Remember the person underneath the substance abuse ♥
Appreciate you
The world needs more people like you!! There is such a stigma around addiction and things like methadone maintenance and Suboxone. I would like to peruse a degree in addiction counseling.
@@wsljr2042 such a rewarding yet challenging and emotionally draining job to do.. I've met the most amazing people with the saddest stories to tell.
Our love and support shouldn't just be held for the ones that "recovered" but for the ones left struggling too. Hope and compassion are they very things that they need ♥ xx
Thank you for this- when I got matched up with my 1st good counselor it was something I looked forward to every week, and when she left and moved away we stayed in touch ..it means SO much to hear a counselor say these things because there are always some "bad eggs", and we already get judged by pharmacies, other doctors, and staff who think we're just lowlife losers..(speaking from personal experience ) when most of us are carrying around so much pain and if there's dual diagnosis involved it's even harder.. bless you !
Very well said. I see a lot of people struggling with substance addiction in my job too, and I know that all of us are probably only one or two wrong turns away from being in the same situation. It starts with maybe a relationship breakup or a family problem, and then you lose your job, and you can't pay your rent, and before you know it you're in that situation, and needing something to numb the pain. Unfortunately things like Heroin and alcohol are very good at taking you out of your reality for a while, but they always drop you off in a much darker place than you were before.
This man is a great storyteller keep up the good work
I'm glad you are still here with us bud. you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. keep up the good fight brother.
@paganminn I don’t wanna hear it pagan, you pay your soldiers in heroin
Thanks for sharing brother . Some people need to hear this. Even myself being clean since 2010 needed to hear this. I don't miss that lifestyle at all. Thanks man !
Lost my dear mom to Heroin when i was young, she left behind four kids, all under 8 years of age. I'm
Really glad you managed to kick it and that you're still alive. Thanks for telling your story. If your message only helps 1 person, it will be worth it. Good luck!
@PjDurkin-m9s
Thanks for asking, but I'm afraid not. He moved away and drank himself to death a few years later. We ended up in care and were split up and eventually adopted. I ended up okay, I guess, but my siblings aren't doing as well.
I lost my mother at 19, since 17 was surviving out in whit my aunt and grandma, mother was in other city, drgs can be fatal, even if not overdosing, suicid3 is always present, is a slippery slope
You are extremely articulate and you tell it like it is. Heroin IS subtle, dangerously so... even David Crosby says so in his diatribe on the subject.( like you , he says " don't even do it " )
I clicked on this video because my best friend died from ODing on heroin. I didn't know that's how it happens. I'm glad you're okay and thankyou for sharing your story!
This guy hit the nail on the head , I was a active opioid user for 20 years and been some of the worst withdrawal’s I’ve ever experienced in my like from benzodiazepines, stimulants etc , cold sweats severe insomnia, diarrhea, throwing up no appetite, depression, anxiety, all of the above , but I just want everyone to know that recovery is possible I have 3 almost 4 years in and life has never been better waking up not dope sick and just being alive is a blessing 🙏🏻 god bless you all
You're such a character man, you seem like a real nice humble guy who hit some hard times and dealt with it in strides. You seem to be doing better, which is nice. I've never done it, but it's easy to see how heroin can make you hit such a physiologically demoralizing low, that it seems easier to let go than get back up. I'm glad you did, because there was still much worth saving. I hope you discover the strongest and happiest version of yourself, and find what you want in life
Keep being strong ! I can hardly imagine how it must feel to live that kind of life, but I sure can realize that it takes guts to go forward when you feel so pushed back by life. Love from Italy !
Appreciate you. May your blessing come back to you times ten 🙂
I was on heroin for 6 years now I’m sober for 4 yrs now
Well done 👏 💪
Well done man you deserve it. Keep it up❤❤
hell yeah dude!! 🎉
Love reading this good job dude!
well done! 💪💪
Dude your the best!! Your helping so many with this. bless you 🙏
and im sitting here a week into my nicotine withdrawals thinking the first 2-3 days was bad for me lmfao.truly a humbling video.
Shhhh
You gotta be joking 😂
What the heck is vaping withdrawal🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@hunorxd Nicotine withdrawal i presume
@@TheFlyingCandy yes,its just nicotine withdrawl
10:44-11:08 Pure poetry right there exactly what happens to alot of people. God bless you Joey.
I’m not sure if you feel the same way but putting your story out there like this is very brave of you. This gives the world a perspective that many have never seen before and answers to questions that many people didn’t even realize they were curious about. This little video holds so much value and I thank you for making it.
RIP to my baby brother Chris .