What Happens If You Are Your Parents' Retirement Fund | How to Prepare for Your Parents' Retirement

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  • Опубликовано: 29 авг 2024

Комментарии • 72

  • @Ellaquint.Newbie
    @Ellaquint.Newbie 2 года назад +27

    Kids don’t decide to be here, yet they inherit your decisions … The best thing you can do for your kids is to figure your shit out.

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  7 месяцев назад +1

      100% agree!

    • @LJ-qc4om
      @LJ-qc4om 4 месяца назад +1

      If ever I do get kids this is what I will do
      Gotta teach this to my future kids as well

  • @Ritz7866
    @Ritz7866 3 года назад +24

    I wish I felt positive about taking care of my mother at this time, but she’s always been abusive and living with her was not a safe option for me throughout my childhood and into post grad. Thinking of having her live with me again later in life as her “retirement housing solution” is terrifying. I’ve been in therapy for the last 3 yrs to heal the trauma and setting boundaries with her has helped a lot. There is just so much to navigate as first gen: money, relationships, and mental health. It’s all very overwhelming.

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  3 года назад +5

      Hi Maritza, thank you for sharing this with me. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Honestly, I don't think I would be positive about that either. And sometimes the best thing for us is the hardest thing to do.
      Maybe having your mother living with you in her retirement is NOT the solution for you. Are there alternatives? Like paying an apartment for her. That also will be something you need to budget for and you might not want to do that.
      I'm so glad you've been going to therapy and implementing the boundaries for your well-being. I certainly think there is a lot of pressure on first gens for being this and that for their parents but we sometimes we need to say no and not let the expectations keep us in an unhealthy situation EVEN when it is your own family.
      Always here if you want someone to talk to about this!

    • @clamar111
      @clamar111 3 года назад +5

      I can relate to you Maritza, I’m the oldest of 9 and my boundaries are set where my mental health being is my priority for my child, husband, and myself. Since I turned 18 my mom viewed my as an ATM. Sad to say but that was my reality. It was so hard to decide to move out, but I had to if I ever wanted to be someone in life. That made me the bad guy but at this time in my life, it doesn’t matter what others think or say. What matters is that I tried to do my part. I’m at peace knowing I tried to mend things and it wasn’t lack of effort in my part. Stay strong. These things are hard to be understood by others unless you have lived it. Prayers to you 🙏❤️

    • @Ritz7866
      @Ritz7866 3 года назад

      @@clamar111 thank you! Wishing you the best. Healing, peace & love

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  3 года назад

      @@clamar111 Thank you so much for sharing this with us Claudia. I'm so happy to hear you're doing what you need for yourself and your family.

    • @kimmontenegro2258
      @kimmontenegro2258 2 года назад

      I actually got a smaller place to make it crystal clear that my father that he needed to find alternative planning for retirement.

  • @GenK1991
    @GenK1991 2 года назад +10

    My parents never saved for retirement and only plan to live off of social security which I know for a fact will not be enough to survive. When I was 17 I read a David Bach book about retirement learned all about different savings accounts investing, roth IRA, 401k’s, portfolio building. I tried to share my findings with them and they brushed me off saying “the stock market is like gambling your money away” so at 17 I started my own roth IRA and have been contributing to the max ever since. That was 15 years ago. It has grown on average 9-10% every year.

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  2 года назад +1

      That's amazing!! At 17 years old starting to invest WOW... Props to you!! And yes my parents have the same mentality about the stock market fortunately though they still invest, they are just MUCH more conservative than I would be.

  • @birdieculture
    @birdieculture 2 года назад +13

    It thoroughly pisses me off that Asian kids are enabling their parents this way. No. You are not supposed to be their retirement fund. Just say no, move out, to another country if you need to, and the whole culture would go away instantly. Its f---ked up that people'd have kids, train them to be their income / source of pride or face / caregiver in old age. Just say no!
    PS: I am Asian too and have completely estranged from my parents. They beat me up since young and made me do all sorts of activities to save face for them, and then made me pay for them. My MIL also persuading me to have a kid for the same purpose. Get lost right now!

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  2 года назад +3

      I feel like a majority is the feeling of wanting to help their parents who sacrificed a lot for them and less about parents forcing people to do this. But I hear you, I just personally wouldn't feel okay seeing my parents struggle and not doing anything about it if I had the means.

  • @alrivas84
    @alrivas84 3 года назад +12

    Yes. I'm very aware I'll be taking care of my mom in her retirement. Right now I'm helping her pay off her credit card debt so she can save something before she retires. I also plan to eventually buy a house with a "garage apartment" for her so she still feels independent.

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  3 года назад +1

      Yes love that idea of the garage apartment and good call on getting rid of the debt before retirement! You certainly don't want that eating her funds.

    • @Phenique35
      @Phenique35 Год назад +1

      I hope she appreciates that and doesn't exploit you and continue to run bills up after you've helped her pay them off. A lot of parents are entitled and will keep making the same mistakes. Sad, but true.

  • @lambing2321
    @lambing2321 2 года назад +5

    Yes, I'm their retirement fund I'm 26 and now I don't think I will have family on my own.😢

    • @lambing2321
      @lambing2321 2 года назад

      Hope you give some advice how to avoid and help to this kind of situation.

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  2 года назад

      Hi! I would start having these conversations with your parents now and express how you feel / are thinking about putting off your own life to fund their goals. You might be surprised by their response! Best of luck! And remember it's okay to put yourself first :)

  • @lovealwaysjasmine
    @lovealwaysjasmine Год назад +2

    Do your best to help set them up financially so they don’t have to move in with you. Them moving in with you especially if you have a family and are married will be a challenge. If they are going to move in with you, set boundaries ahead of time even type them out so everyone is on the same page. Lastly, if you’re parenting style is different than your parents and they don’t respect boundaries, don’t expect them to miraculously change once they move into your home. You have one shot to be the best parent you want so think wisely.

  • @lolipena8051
    @lolipena8051 3 года назад +4

    I learned when I graduated college. Right here with you. I’ve talked to my dad about it a couple times. But he’s very touchy about it. We are now 4yrs away and I need to bring it up more. I’m willing to help but he also needs to put in his part. Omg spending habits! It’s always a fight. But I’ve learned to bring it up nicely and not get mad.

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  3 года назад +1

      Hi Loli! Thanks for sharing this! Yup talking about money is definitely tough and helping someone in their retirement cannot be one-way street. I recommend starting small when talking about retirement. Instead of "How much do you have saved?", you can say, "What do you think is a good amount for me to have? I'm starting to think about this for myself." This might help you get a peek at his mindset about it.
      I also learned not to get mad! Honestly, I still have situations like this -- like in the process of getting them life insurance! OOF the tears I shed but I remembered why I'm doing this and how they might not get it now but certainly will in the future and continued to have those conversations to FINALLY getting them to do it.

    • @lolipena8051
      @lolipena8051 3 года назад

      @@FirstGenMoney thank you for the advise. Thankfully he’s been good about having a 401k. I’m regards to life insurance it was a hard lesson that made him get it. My mother passed and we were left with nothing. Hard to grieve and have to worry about all the bills we are left with. After that he got one, my brother and myself got one. But 401k can only go so far. So again thank you for the tips and happy you’re out there. Helping all of us deal with this.

  • @syedh2649
    @syedh2649 3 года назад +2

    Thank you for this!! Many informative investment/early retirement youtube channels are run by people who can't relate to this (either because of generational wealth, parents not depending on child, etc) but as a first gen immigrants trying to focus on early retirement we gotta take into account our parent's well being as well! Especially considering a lot of immigrants came here with little to nothing. This discussion was super refreshing and informative and thanks again for sharing your own experiences and thoughts as you plan for the future!

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  3 года назад +1

      Yes, I noticed that no one was talking about it because it isn't an experience they can relate to! You're not alone! I'm glad you found this helpful :)

  • @onecraftycarmen
    @onecraftycarmen 3 года назад +4

    I love this! No one covers this topic.
    Thank you.

  • @RYS_2themoon
    @RYS_2themoon 2 года назад +3

    As a young man who’s ventured off into the world and dabbled in different careers and gained financial literacy. I’ve began working on myself and my goals but only to come home to live with my mom (I’m 21/ moved out when I was 18-moved back when I was 20) and I can say it scares me how finances aren’t talked about at all my mom gets angry and frustrated with me when I ask questions about where is her money going to ? What is she spending her money on? I can see it’s all a perspective view when it comes to money. She’s got a victim mentality and we’ve always argued back and forth because I try and help her but she never listened so I just stopped talking about those topics . Lesson learned. Don’t stop because it gets uncomfortable. My mother is still in this slump because she won’t take accountability for her actions as to why She/were in this situation. I don’t mind helping her out but what this lady said is right . How can I focus on my life and my goals when I’m looking at my mom struggle in front of me because she doesn’t take her health serious and because she doesn’t take her health serious she doesn’t make wealth decisions. Im slowly buckling down for the long haul , gonna put off some of my goals to help her . It’s not like it sucks it’s just a bummer I’m having to teach what I should have been taught but anyways to whoever’s reading this . Don’t give up . Don’t feel back . We’re all human our parents made mistakes they’re learning too. All we can do is prevent from more mistakes from happening . Make a plan for yourself to get yourself in a position to start helping then slowly start helping who you want . Remember you can’t give anything to anybody if you don’t have anything to give . Always put yourself first , family second.

    • @Phenique35
      @Phenique35 Год назад

      Unfortunately, the emotional manipulation will keep you there until she's done using you. Which will likely be until she passes.

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  7 месяцев назад

      thank you for sharing this ❤

    • @xyz987123abc
      @xyz987123abc 5 месяцев назад +1

      Just realize that if you spend too much on them and they go into a nursing home with medicaid paying, the state will sell the house out from under you.
      Only the spouse gets to stay. When both parents pass on or the other goes into a nursing home, you had better be in your own place. The state will make you homeless faster than you can imagine.

  • @renatapereira5305
    @renatapereira5305 2 года назад +1

    I really appreciate this video. I am 23 , work in finance, my mom made tons of sacrifices to move to the USA and give me a better life. She doesn’t have any retirement account. I’ve been wanting to open a Roth IRA for her but I need more knowledge on how to manage it myself to avoid fees. Now that I will be making more it’s a perfect time to max it every year.

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  2 года назад +1

      Hi Renata! I'm glad you found this video helpful. There are no fees involved for you to manage your mom's Roth IRA like you would your own... Of course, there are brokerage fees/expense ratios but you have those too. The only thing is your mom will need to have income in order to open a Roth IRA.
      I talk more about investing in these two videos:
      How to Invest - ruclips.net/video/AY1LA2-ldsU/видео.html
      Retirement Account: ruclips.net/video/ovE60_8c6ak/видео.html

    • @renatapereira5305
      @renatapereira5305 2 года назад

      @@FirstGenMoney oh man, thank you! She has income from a 1099 self employed would that qualify ?

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  2 года назад

      Yes! Still qualifies since it is earned income - check out this article by Fidelity (#8): www.fidelity.com/learning-center/personal-finance/retirement/nine-reasons-roth

  • @shantel7107
    @shantel7107 2 года назад +2

    My mother retired 7 years ago with a small retirement & now Social Security;. The problem that has reared up is maintenance or lack of maintenance on her home. She didnt plan, expect & or really thinks when things arise that its important.

  • @dc76384
    @dc76384 2 года назад +3

    My dad has a pension and SS, paid off home. It's enough. They won't starve and provided he doesn't do anything stupid (reverse mortgage). They'll survive. They're going on lavish trips, or buying a luxury car. But they'll be ok. They didn't ever invest. That's the key you have to invest. 401k, Roth IRA etc. If you are responsible for covering Mom and Dad in retirement...who's saving for yours? Retirement is the responsibility of the individual.

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  7 месяцев назад +1

      I think this is so important!

  • @ronellmonieno4353
    @ronellmonieno4353 Год назад +2

    If you choose to get married and they do not have retirement plan and you are not that rich, you will end up sandwiched between your responsibilities to your family and your parents.

  • @Shellmaibelle328
    @Shellmaibelle328 4 года назад +7

    So happy you came out with this video! I've been trying to research how to help my parents out while also keeping myself financially stable. Gonna join the Latinas Get Money Community :D

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  4 года назад

      Yay!! I'm glad it was helpful :) Excited to welcome you into the community!

  • @lostconciousness4255
    @lostconciousness4255 Год назад +2

    geez, your parents aren't children, if they said they are fine let them be. Just create an JIC (just in case) fund that if they ever need it you have it put aside for them and if not you got it for yourself. Second, how oblivious can you be to their finances? I don't even need to ask to know that my parents have no money and don't own anything of value (real estate, boats, cars..etc). I WISH my parents could say they are fine but I clearly know they have zero dollars to their name and they have no desire to pick up a side-gig or anything to accumulate some funds. They own nothing and don't see that as an issue because I'm involuntarily responsible to take care of them.
    All good intentions aside, this doesn't take into account if you have a family of your own (or want one), own your home or trying to save up for one. What about your spouse's family should you also take care of them, as well?? This gets quite murky and if you have the means to do so then do so but I would HIGHLY suggest not to let your parents or in-laws move in with you. This will add an extra layer of stress on top of all your other responsibilities and can be a real strain in your marriage/relationship.

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  Год назад +1

      I love the idea of a just in case fund and I think that's a lot of what this is right? You need to be prepared for those kinds of things. but yeah even though it's shocking to you, A LOT of people still believe talking about money is taboo... something that is usually created from upbringings so it's not surprise that some kids don't know what their parents situation is! this is why talking about it often and subtly is so important, because eventually they will learn more!

    • @carlasamuels479
      @carlasamuels479 3 месяца назад

      I can relate to a lot of this as I already know there are no assets ! Luckily in Canada all her Healthcare is covered & being very low income she gets extra benefits for meds, eye, dental ,home safety equipment ...so grateful as it would come from my family budget & we not rich either

  • @sistermadrigalmorning233
    @sistermadrigalmorning233 3 года назад +1

    My parents are fine, but my husband is my in-laws retirement plan-- and we just bought them a flat. ❤️We just bought them a tiny 600sq ft place, we'll have it paid off within the next year. They have a tiny, tiny pension that should cover food and hopefully utilities... But we'll be on the hook still for medical. 🙏 They're two years from retirement.

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  3 года назад +1

      Omg this is goals! Buying my parent's a retirement home. Nicely done though with covering the biggest expense in people's budgets for them.

    • @sistermadrigalmorning233
      @sistermadrigalmorning233 3 года назад

      @@FirstGenMoney thanks! I feel good about it. My own parents already own their home plus I have sisters; my husband is an only child so care of his parents falls on him (he's Indian.) I'm glad to help him help them.

  • @carlasamuels479
    @carlasamuels479 3 месяца назад

    My mother has been bankrupt twice for the very same reasons with credit cards ...so i know whats in my future 🙄...i have scraped together a ' final expenses fund ' & help.her to avoid making any new debt

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  3 месяца назад +1

      she's so lucky to have you, and most importantly remember to take care of yourself in the process!

  • @bananaphone8494
    @bananaphone8494 3 года назад +1

    Thank you so much for this

  • @Itspavi98
    @Itspavi98 Год назад +1

    It’s also harder when you’re the only child :(

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  Год назад

      Omg yes, I bet!! Sending you so much light!!!

  • @Themrleonkennedy1
    @Themrleonkennedy1 3 года назад +4

    They won’t be, I refuse to fund their crazy.

  • @sawmilljoseph
    @sawmilljoseph 3 года назад +1

    Great video

  • @chrisr4715
    @chrisr4715 2 года назад

    I really want to help my parents with their retirement accounts. As a first gen, I felt this. I kind of want to do a robo advisor type of Roth IRA account for them. Do you recommend any or have review videos?

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  2 года назад

      Hi Chris! Apologies for the late response. I don't do review videos but I will say I have tried Betterment and Ellevest!

  • @27miguelcastaneda
    @27miguelcastaneda 3 года назад

    My mom retired 1 year ago, and now my dad its retiring in 1 month, i want to help them to make it easier on them on their retirement, i am going to pay off their truck loan balance, and pay iff their credit cards, but my big worry in a way is their mortgage, its kind of a big balance as things went bad around 13 years ago that they never recovered, but here trying to learn what i can do for them...

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  3 года назад +1

      Thank you for sharing this! I think you need to do the best that you can without sacrificing your own retirement needs as well. A paid off mortgage would be ideal but if it doesn't happen then also think about what alternatives could look like.

    • @27miguelcastaneda
      @27miguelcastaneda 3 года назад +1

      @@FirstGenMoney thank you for the reply, this weekand we went over the numbers and they dont look as bad as it sounds lol, they just have to watch every dollar spent, i will be giving them money whenever i have extra just for them to have a bigger cushion, but i feel better now that their 401k not bad, and i am going to be selling one of my 2 homes i have, and thats where the money going to come to pay off their truck balance and credit cards, i really appreciate all your information ok..thank you.

    • @FirstGenMoney
      @FirstGenMoney  3 года назад +1

      @@27miguelcastaneda Good, I'm glad you were able to have this conversation with them. They are lucky to have you!

    • @27miguelcastaneda
      @27miguelcastaneda 3 года назад

      @@FirstGenMoney yes and thanks to you, i am the lucky one to still have them alive, btw new subscriber here ok, keep up the good videos going. Good night 🙏

    • @Themrleonkennedy1
      @Themrleonkennedy1 3 года назад

      Sound like you are an enabler to me.