Why Did Your Ex Wife Leave? (Were You The Problem, Or Was She?)
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- Опубликовано: 1 окт 2021
- Feeling good again after divorce is about more than just understanding why your wife left you. We'll cover that in this video, but we'll go a step deeper too. We'll talk about why understanding why your wife left you feels so important, and if that's the thing you really need in order to feel better after divorce.
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Your divorce can either be the nail in your coffin, or it can be the catalyst you use to finally confront and heal your emotional wounds so they don't kneecap your relationships.
You can become the best version of yourself and take control of your future. And now you can get access to the same step by step, proven system that has already helped hundreds of men do just that, inside the Better Beyond Divorce App.
GET ACCESS TO THE BETTER BEYOND DIVORCE APP NOW:
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Additional Resources
Free Masterclass: HOW TO TAKE BACK CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE AFTER DIVORCE
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Guide: Emotional Stages of Divorce for Men & How to Heal within Each Stage
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Dating After Divorce Checklist: Are you ready to date after your divorce?
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Helpful Books for Divorced Men (affiliate links)
► The Full Body Presence - Gives gentle, accessible exercises for somatic processing of emotional pain and trauma amzn.to/3umFPkj
► The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time amzn.to/3F326IS
► Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself - Concrete tools and exercises for rewiring the brain and reimagining your sense of self and purpose amzn.to/3BaDyg9
► Legendary - Inspiration and a powerful perspective for stepping into your potential amzn.to/3H6ofsF
► The Myth Of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture - Brilliant, in every way. This is an amazing resource for understanding yourself and your ex wife and finding the clarity or compassion you need to forgive. amzn.to/3UxdsuC
► Lost Connections: Why You're Depressed and How to Find Help - Intense and well researched. I would recommend this book when you are past the early stages of divorce and have a stable support system in place. amzn.to/3VNMOi7
I’m Rachael Sloan, Master NLP Practitioner, certified life coach, and the creator of Better Beyond Divorce. I've helped hundreds of men move past the shock, betrayal, grief and anger they experience both during and after a divorce, to a place of clarity, calm and confidence. I hope to help you do the same.
DISCLAIMER: I am a Master NLP Practitioner and personal growth mentor. The material in this video represents my understanding and experience and nothing more. This content is not meant to replace professional medical advice, treatment or diagnosis. Always consult your medical provider before making any changes to your treatment.
Understanding why your wife left can feel overwhelmingly important after divorce. It feels like, if you could understand why your wife left you, you’d finally know if you’re a good person or not, and if there is hope for you in the future. The desire to know why she left can be overpowering.
For many men divorce comes as a surprise. I’m divorced for what? What happened? Why is she not giving this another chance? You may find yourself struggling with self doubt, shaken confidence or deep regret. If you can make sense of why your wife left, maybe you can find relief from those feelings.
In this video we cover 6 reasons your wife may have left. More importantly, we get to the bottom of why it feels so important to understand why your wife left you. It turns out that feeling okay after divorce, feeling good again after your wife leaves, requires more than simply making sense of why she left.
Can you feel happy after your wife leaves you? The answer is a resounding yes. But solving the mystery of why she left isn’t going to do the trick. In this video I talk about how to feel happy after your wife leaves you… because the answers don’t lie with her, they lie within you. Recovering from your wife leaving you starts with a journey inward, into your own thoughts and emotions. Your future happiness, your well being and your success in future relationships actually has nothing to do with your ex wife, and it doesn’t require a deep or thorough understanding of why she left you. 
Хобби
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1-social conditioning 2- unrealistic expectations 3- her unfulfilled dreams 4- communication problems 5- childhood trauma 6- attachment issues
100%. I think you’re right on.
@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach As a divorced man, married for 30 years, this was a very helpful video.
@@trac56 I'm glad to hear that it was helpful. How are you doing? Do you have some good support systems for yourself?
2:30 That’s the key . Focus on your growth not if she loves your or not. Fix the issues in you and practice communication in your next relationship to build a better long lasting one
This video and the message are 100% correct .
Some of the videos such as this one are very quiet.
I listen to these through ear buds in a workshop so its not a silent enviroment but most of the other videos are loud and clear.
Brilliant video by the way, very helpful
Thank you for bringing that to my attention, Shaun! I'll try to do a re-do on this one :)
“Do you really want your ex wife to be the source of that information?!” 💙
Interesting topic expecially about where to find answers, I was looking at the wrong place. Now more than ever before I understand..
Hey there, how are you doing, I know how it feels to get heartbroken
*Wha ts a pp* him right away for help
±19515998468⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works i can't believe i am with my lover back after many years of break-up.,...
Very well said. Thank you Rachel!
You're welcome Jeff, thanks for watching!
She blamed me for everything, I was the problem and I was broken and didn’t know how to love her. Hard to believe after being married 35 years. Yeah I am responsible for some of it but I am also figuring out she has some issues she needed to figure out. It was easier to quit than deal with her problems and work with me. She grew up in an abusive home, and she lived in the past forever, always talked about it and even now. I grew up alone so I was always quick to defend myself, my issue… We stopped talking, we stopped loving and we both just grew apart a couple years ago. Guess it was going to happen. She just pulled the trIgger 1st so she could “ find herself and where she belongs in the world as a person.”
Hi Rob, thank you for commenting and sharing. After 35 years together this is a pretty intense blow. I know from many of my clients that it can be hard to put into words how devastating and emotionally brutal this experience is. You already have some good awareness and understanding of both the origins of her patterns and yours, but this is a lot to process. That awareness will help you make sense of it and ultimately choose your path forwards. Do you have some support for yourself on the emotional side of this?
@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach I have my sons (grown, 35,32,29) and my family along with go to counseling every other week
@@robc3887 that's good to hear. If you find along the way that you would like more support or more focused support around healing and moving forward yourself, please feel free to reach out for a consultation call. You can find my calendar here: www.rachaelsloancoaching.com/contact-8 or email me at rachael@rachaelsloancoaching.com
i’m sure that’s why i told her i know i’m a good man
Replayed this again to moor myself and get off asking why so many times in my mind.
Sometimes it’s helpful to ask yourself this question instead- if you could really know why she left, without a doubt, like you had a letter directly from god or the universe or whomever… how would you feel?
The answer to that question is really what you’re looking for.
@@test90020Like your video said, she would not be an accurate source to why she left. I need to look inside to fix what I am looking for in the external source. She is free to leave at any time. Unfortunately, we want answers. It is a futile effort. We do not know why we do what we do sometimes. Then, how can we can we ask the former significant other to give us an answer to why they left.
in my case, the lack of money
It just burns my ass how fast she moved on. Like it was no big deal
Hi Ron, I hear you. That can be so frustrating, because it feels like your whole marriage wasn't a big deal to her.
How are you doing? What is it that you need right now?
@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach Acceptance and get rid of this anger that just shows up out of nowhere.
@@ookiee1 if you'd like a roadmap for doing that, it's pretty much exactly what I help clients do through my Better Beyond Divorce Mentorship Program. I'd be happy to discuss it with you if you'd like to see if it's the right fit for you.
You're welcome to book a free consultation with me here: calendly.com/rachaelsloan/strategy
That's what they do so very well. She left you long before she told you she was leaving. She was not the One. Take care of yourself focus on you. She is now yesterdays news. Happens everyday to a lot of good people.
@@davidcoppotelli3957 but how do you overcome all THAT the original comment posted, 20yrs and in less than 1 she UNdid em all..
So the odds are stacked against us from the get go!!
The odds are definitely stacked against us from the get go - not because women are a certain way or because men are a certain way, but because we live in a society that habitually confuses codependency with love, and which discourages us from processing emotions in healthy ways or communicating about the underlying issues that drive our surface level frustrations and anxieties.
We should learn emotional regulation, real self esteem and basic conflict resoultion and communication skills as children... but we don't, so we enter into relationships woefully ill prepared and with heads full of fairy tales about true love and soul mates. So yes, the odds are stacked against us, but each of us has the power to learn these things and transform our relationships and our lives.
@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach you just described my 24-yr marriage, on hopes and dreams while bringing underlying/unresolved issues which I am now working on. BTW, I am making some financial adjustments and save to hopefully soon join BBD. I will email you for additional details.
Thank you for all you do and God Bless you…
@@diegomarquez9505 I'm sorry to hear that, it's so hard after all those years together. Yet I'm glad to know that you're doing the work already on resolving the underlying issues, it will make the future so much better. I look forward to hearing from you about BBD when you're ready.
🎉
Pretty sure I'm unfixably broken. I'm done with love.
this shit is hard , so my fears are where the truth for the answer are for growth
Well said. It is so hard. I'm glad you said that, because I know a lot of other people here are feeling it. It's hard. It's an opportunity for growth. It sucks. There is light on the other side. All true, all at once.
I feel bad for the poor dude she marries. Huge shoes to fill.😂
👍
Hey there, how are you doing, I know how it feels to get heartbroken
*Wha ts a pp* him right away for help
±19515998468⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works i can't believe i am with my lover back after many years of break-up.,...
Literally said nothing….lol
I'm sorry that's what you took away from this video. I hope you find what you're looking for. Thanks for watching and giving it a try.