Absolutely this. It's like he's severely autistic and doesn't understand that there are different kinds of smiles, he's like "if she shows some teeth we're good".
this soul patch kid is strange , but the stuff he says about kids is accurate as they have no apprehension when they say or do things...they just do it. essentially if you want to attract a girl dont be a shy loser. it's pretty common sense advice yet your midget loner self is throwing shade at this soul patch guy like you're some kind of casanova
As a woman (named James), I just ruined my laptop with water damage due to me gushing my girl juice like a hose all over the room when he said he wants to eat my eyeballs.
The problem is that you can't make a decent blueberry dessert with just two blueberries. The number of victims this man is hinting at with that line is the real horror
How to flirt: Find a girl with blue eyes. Tell her you like blue eyes. Steal them. Put them in a cake. Win a global cake-making competition. Get a divorce.
Little kids aren't fearless. They merely lack the self-awareness to feel shame at their own embarrassing behavior. That said, good luck finding any woman with an IQ above room temperature that this "flirting" would work on. Dude needs to learn to make a woman laugh and tell a dirty innuendo. Instead he comes of as a creeper.
"Your eyes are like blueberries.. actually.. C-can I scoop those out and freeze them for later, to use in my anabolic french toast?" Instant puddles of girl juice
"I'm sorry your eye holes got infected but at least your eyeballs won the county fair prize, by the way I'm taking custody of the kids, they're such good flirts after all."
"Kids are the best flirts." "Flirting is saying you want to eat somebody's eyes." Him as a kid: "Hey, I like your hair, can I have it?" *Proceeds to rip out girl's hair*
I died at the “Your eyes are like blueberries” part. I’d rather come clean to tell my parents I failed college and am jobless rather than to tell them I do something as cringey as this. If you, Mr. Professor in the video, are seeing my comment, you aren’t teaching us how to flirt, you are teaching us how to be social creepers and how to be left on red.
Why do I feel like the guy in this video has never even actually talked to/flirted with a single woman in his entire life? Because honestly he's giving the weirdest, most creepy advice ever LOL 🤣
Brett VV You sir, started a five minute laughing fit that left me light-headed. I wasn’t even producing sound after a bit. I genuinely wish I could like this multiple times.
The divorce thing has ssssooomeee potential. "Hey babe, sorry about the divorce but it's not all bad as far as the settlement. You get the house, you get the kids, I'll just get your number." Then you wink and do finger guns for five minutes straight. Even if she walks away, just follow her continuing the finger gun process, it is crucial for your success.
I just watched this video and YT's automatic chapters make this even better. The last chapter is called "Make it creepy" as if that is the last step of flirting. Tbf it often seems to be just that, though.
Videos like this keep me at night, rocking in a sitting fetal position while I mutter "it can't be real.. it can't be real.. it can't be real.." to myself.
Lunchbox Nah, that is still a bit weak and it doesn't guarantee success, here's the golden line: "Hey, I sponsor Charlie's stream, you can drop your panties now" (the last bit is not really necessary since they most probably already did by the time you ask). Works every time, real testimony.
Lunchbox Damn that's hot. Wanna watch some Cr1tikal videos and eat each other's eyes so our sense of hearing heightens and Charlie's voice becomes god like?
BIll clinton I relate to this so much it hurts. I spent years at college not saying much to anyone, then I had a random girl randomly talk to me out of nowhere, asked me for my FB cliché as shit, I told her I got rid of my FB which I did....and did not provide another means of contact. I swear I am sometimes retarded beyond belief.
Don't worry. If you aren't attractive you can still make it work with a big cock. Now if you don't have that then DON'T WORRY. You still have being rich. Now if you don't have that then now is when we get to the point of my post where I say something in a stretched out version when all I could have said instead was *YOU'RE FUCKED*
“They’re actually little kids”
What a twist
Wait a second is that you porksword from the app
*TAKE A SEAT SIR*
that not even the worst part this dude legit goes into canabalizm
@@saucymcgee3360 You are stepping dangerously close to breaking rule #1.
"Whoop Whoop! Police! Open up! "
This isn't a tutorial, this is a confession.
"you can take custody of the kids, and the house, i'll take the dog, after all i trained him myself"
Silent your comment made me laugh almost as hard as the video
"You can have the kids and the dog, I'll take the house. After all, I trained it myself."
Karen took the kids obviously.
Trahs Panda LMFAOOO
"Your eyes are pretty. *Let me feast, mortal"*
“Hmmm, take me”
@@malachibergstrom5426 mortal
i died lmao
@Joe Mark 💀 love the Skyrim reference
sounds like something a redditor would say
The blueberry line when he was monotone was somehow less creepy than when he was trying to flirt
Yes, the second one just seemed like an awkward sarcastic joke. The first one however...
Honestly yeah, it’s less creepy to look like a serial killer than a happy serial killer
The first one sounded slimy and creepy lol. The second is funny.
@@hornetsilksong Lord know the second one was just lame and still creepy
@@tomcanty8856 yeah but it seems like sarcastically lame and creepy unlike the first which was genuine
he seems to confuse women’s uncomfortable giggling with genuine laughter
yes
Absolutely this. It's like he's severely autistic and doesn't understand that there are different kinds of smiles, he's like "if she shows some teeth we're good".
And their screams confused with laughter
@@foilhattiest1 That my friend is not autism, but an anti-social personality. The trouble is how many of these creeps are out there.
this soul patch kid is strange , but the stuff he says about kids is accurate as they have no apprehension when they say or do things...they just do it. essentially if you want to attract a girl dont be a shy loser. it's pretty common sense advice yet your midget loner self is throwing shade at this soul patch guy like you're some kind of casanova
It's impressive that he found a camera, filmed this video, and posted this before the police found him.
I hope that he posts that hack in his video.
That’s why he’s so sweaty
General kenobi
Well they did, he cut that part out and posted it after he got out of jail
@@UCgx7OseCrundqkE8oEVeobg hi
as a girl, i’m blushing so hard at the thought of having a guy tell me he thinks my eyes are like blueberries that he wants to rip out and eat
😂😂😂😂
I see...
* takes notes *
@@jay.u aww thank you ! :)
what if…
jk jk lol
unless…
I mean, tbh it's not a bad line if in the right context it's delivered extremely ironically
@@kimdracvla how about this?
G I V E M E Y O U R E Y E S
“At a young age, kids are ready to take things to the extreme, and are very comfortable with themselves”
*That made me genuinely uncomfortable*
That was fucking terrifying
You’re some fucking 14 year old. Who tf cares .
@@FunBoysGaming alright Minecraft RUclipsr
@@FunBoysGaming dick
@@FunBoysGaming why do people act like being young is bad. Im 19, and i would never make fun of someone just because they're a minor :/
This guy flirts with himself at least twice a day.
Lol
Now that s--t was funny
hey atleast someone does
@@Jason-uw9ex what?
More
How are these new comments getting so many likes? I’m confuse lol unless a lot of ppl who discovered him is binge watching his older content lol
This guy’s definition of flirting:
Think about children while eating her eyeballs out of her head and pretending to get a divorce.
LMAO
Inspiring, really
I bet he gets laid regularly
I bet he makes blow up dolls vomit.
@@mrnonsense1031 There's an option to edit your comments, instead of having to post twice.
Matpat really took a turn over the years huh
LMFAO
😂
I thought I was the only one who thought he looked like matpat
More like patMat, the discount Matpat.
Matpat long lost brother 💀
I'm just imagining this guy giving a very sad speech at a funeral, but he's just grinning the whole time
And making up random bullshit as he goes along
No no no you got it all wrong. What you need to do is say:
“Thanks beautiful” *and then run out of GameStop*
LIKE A REAL MAN
yes
500% masculinity boost.
chad move
I understood that reference
When shaggy stops smoking weed this happens
@Fallen Smallen damn my expression is the shaggy meme "are you challenging me?"
@@azuraelarasmith4997 Oh, are you approaching me?!
@Fallen Smallen scooby doo sucks anyway
Azurael Arasmith He stops smoking and weed and moves to crack
@@rockk9753 what the fuck did you say
This man looks like he wants to steal my liver
No, he wanna steal your eyes; haven't you been paying attentionXD
He steals your girlfriend
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@@krotszyi1192 thank you king
@@Ismael-kc3ry 1am
"Your eyes are so beautiful, can i just- can I have them?"
Ok calm down there Itachi
*now this is some level 10 genjutsu*
We need to put this guy in a blueberry world genjutsu
Danzo, really
madara when he was alone with his brother(this sounds gae but whatever)
Itachi? You mean Danzo. Itachi never wanted Shisui’s eyes. Or Sasuke’s. Danzo was the creep
That blueberry line activated my fight or flight response.
BeachGnome underrated comment ^
Im afraid I went straight past fight or flight and went with freeze
What, you're not getting all moist at the prospect of some fuccboi gouging your eyeballs out with the intention of eating them? You're weird.
BeachGnome I both flew and fought
hey im sorry that we're divorcing right now, but those blueberry eyes? yea they're mine
His Hitler stache moved down to his chin.
The F.B.I I cannot breathe 😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭😭
😂😂😂😂😂
Hahahahahaha cant stop hahahahahahaha
He sneezed to hard
that inraged adolf father who punished him severely
The saddest part is the hypothetical dog has to live with this creep.
Twist: he eats the dog
Me: Why does this guy looks like a predato-
Him: The best flirt is kids.
Me: Okay, nevermind
He got the creepy uncle stache to complete the look too.
Dear lord why do they always have a creepy uncle stache
@@hornetsilksong that's a soul patch. There is absolutely no mustache on that high school boy face.
Son: Dad how did you met mom?
This guy: It all started with Blueberries...
Son: ...
Not Dad: Why didn't my Blueberry line work?!
@@OverlordAlastor lollll🤣
Son: *disappears*
This guy in prison who also dropped the soap 10 times: ......
Kid: is that why mom has no eyes?
Son: Dad why did mum divorce you
This guy: Well, it all started with blueberries......
Nothing gets a girl wetter than talks of Divorce.
Yeah like I get super wet when someone talks about that.
Yeah cause they get everything
@@billygoat5213
found the red piller.
@@vickerandflips8061 @Billy Goat both of you should shut the fuck up
Actually yes, the goods
As a woman (named James), I just ruined my laptop with water damage due to me gushing my girl juice like a hose all over the room when he said he wants to eat my eyeballs.
Ma’m this is a Wendy’s
Ma'am this is a white castle
Ma’am this a grade school
Ma'am tf
Ma'am this is a water park
The problem is that you can't make a decent blueberry dessert with just two blueberries. The number of victims this man is hinting at with that line is the real horror
How to flirt:
Find a girl with blue eyes.
Tell her you like blue eyes.
Steal them.
Put them in a cake.
Win a global cake-making competition.
Get a divorce.
DONT FORGET THE CHILDREN
STUDY CHILDREN TO FLIRT BETTER
🤣
@@bribripittman230 Have some kids in the 10 years before the divorce and study them and their habits, and luckily, they might have some blue eyes too.
Well that escalated quickly 😁
Yea this is true it’s how I lost my first boi
I tried flirting with little girls cause this guy said they’re better at flirting; I’m now awaiting trial ....
Are they 18 yet?
You can join all the blueberry pie fans
666th like.
You're so funny...
You too huh?
That one friend whos single but keeps trying to give you relationship advice
plot twist: he gives this horrible flirt tricks to us, so that he could have all the girls for himself.
GigaChad move
Not sure if this man is actually capable of flirting even if this does seem like something his mind would cook up
I tried the blueberries pick up line on a girl I like and she liked it so much she had to call the cops and tell them about it.
623 likes and 0 replies, now 1
I thought this was funny now you got 2 replies
Now you got 3
And now 4
LMAOOO
I feel bad for the kid who actually tries this on a girl😂😂
Sam Pigeau just the thought of it is painful
He's in jail now and must register as a sex offender for the next 8 to 10 yrs.
@@michaelhouse585 wait srsly ?
@@michaelhouse585 That's good.
Sadly that would have been 16 year old me
Can’t get enough of Charlie shouting “what the f*ck”
3:28 he is literally penguinz0
This dude has at least three rotting bodies in a freezer in his basement.
Well if they're in a freezer, they're not rotting. But yes, I agree. At least 3.
@@BananaDucshortz Jesus man...im a yt commentator not a scientist. #😎
@@BananaDucshortz it would still rot.. Just take a wayyy longer time.
At least one of the bodies is half eaten
Which one? The Keanu Reeves rip off or the reverse Hitler? I'm confused
"well actually, they're little kids."
**FBI OPEN UP**
I swear, it's NOT how it looks like! SHE flirted with ME !
ladies and gentlemen, we got him.
*knock knock*
A little late but I’m here
Someone get Chris Hansen!
Little kids aren't fearless. They merely lack the self-awareness to feel shame at their own embarrassing behavior.
That said, good luck finding any woman with an IQ above room temperature that this "flirting" would work on. Dude needs to learn to make a woman laugh and tell a dirty innuendo. Instead he comes of as a creeper.
This is really where his logic falls apart.
we talking Celsius or Fahrenheit?
@@aprilcot312 Room temperature is the same temperature whether you give the units in F or C. The more you know.
@@vinchinzo594 that's.. entirely wrong. Room temp C is 21, room temp F is 70. You're thinking about -40 C being the same as -40 F.
@@nikosucksatskating woooosh
"have a big smile, high energy and make sure you are having a good time"
The Joker:
I need a “where are they now” update on this guy.
Prison
Yeah Imma have to go with the other guy who said prison
The Blueberry store
super not best friends dont play Most likely, if not probably either a vicar or a scout leader.
Getting assblasted in prison
"Your eyes are like blueberries.. actually.. C-can I scoop those out and freeze them for later, to use in my anabolic french toast?" Instant puddles of girl juice
This guy is creepier than last time
Ahzeeeeeero chance of acquiring coochie
Circle gang
Ah, men of the circle culture here I see.
Yes, that would be her blood after she gives you her eyes.
How to flirt: *"I'd like to devour your eyeballs."*
_"Your eyes... They remind me of my first murder... I haven't eaten for days.... I must have them"_
That blueberry line never works. Instead, try this:
“Jeepers, Creepers
Where’d you get those Peepers”
LOL
If I wasn’t dating someone rn and someone used that on me I’d laugh SO hard that’d be so awesome
Dat movie used 2 scared da sh!t outta me as a kid
I choked out on my food reading this xD
Jeepers, creepers
Where'd you get those eyes
"I'm sorry your eye holes got infected but at least your eyeballs won the county fair prize, by the way I'm taking custody of the kids, they're such good flirts after all."
And they even inherited your blue eyes, state fair here we come!
Also, what person would look at a blueberry cake with blue eyes and think: "Damn, that's one hell of a cake. This needs an award."
🤮🤮🤮
lol imagine you force your kids to flirt with you to practice that would be so bad
2:47 I fking shouted "GET AWAY" when he started approaching the camera hahahahaha
3:19
Now, he's teaching us the Charlie method.
"Wow you're eyes, they're like blueberries, TOO BAD THEY ARE NOT AS BLUE AS MY BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON,
BURST STREAM OF DESTRUCTION
"Wow your eyes...they're like cherries...BUT NOT AS RED AS A FRIEND OF MINE'S! GO RED EYES BLACK DRAGON!!!'
“Wow, I like your magician cosplay” BUT MY TRUSTED FRIEND DARK MAGICIAN IS BETTER! GO! DARK MAGIC ATTACK
😂 all of these are hilarious!!
Not as blue as my big fat balls
I am a wamin and I became wEt
"I see our relationship failing in 10 years' time." what a killer strategy right there
Nice pfp
@@Ismael-kc3ry I agree
Yup it definitely killed something.
@@peregrine4430 I disagree
I can't believe Charlie didn't end the video with "That's about it, see ya."
I'm dazed and confused.
Bro looks like matpat with a adolf mustache on his chin
How to flirt
Step one: Divorce
Step two: eat her eyes
Step three: enjoy
Thanks, this advice helped me collect so many womens.
Those eyes looks like bluberries! I gonna eat them... uhm... fresh...eyeballs...I want them! GIMME THEM YOU R FUCKING BITCH!
Step 4 : $$$ PROFIT $$$
"Your eyes are like blueberries. I want to crush them with my fingers and make muffins out of them. Wait, where are you going...?"
Just read this in a thick Russian accent
VxInferno damn it you made me do that also...
Why are you running?
Saumav Kapoor WHY are you running?
Paul Drake don’t run from me.
"Have fun, roleplay"
People like this is what makes us protect our loved ones
" I like your eyes.. *Can I hold them?* "
Lmfaoooo
Flert
So flirtatious
"Aw yeah, now that makes my bean hard!"
I remember Expertvillage they extended my virginity by at least 2 years
brooklyn560
You poor soul did you actually follow this advice or are you kidding?
@@TomNJoshPlay Lol it was a joke bro.
Underrated comment, im in fucking tears bro.
Best comment ever LOL
What are you 40 now? :P
Average fan: Hey pretty
Average enjoyer: B L U E B E R R I E S
That lasso bit has me laughing so hard I am crying. That was more epic than it should've been. lmao
This guy is probably in prison now
I really hope so, I don't feel safe with him on the streets
Nah he’s on some Australian tv show see him all the time
I’m pretty sure it’s called the chase ^^
@@samhagan7646 is he actually? Wtf is he a chaser or something?
Yeah dude
"Kids are the best flirts." "Flirting is saying you want to eat somebody's eyes."
Him as a kid:
"Hey, I like your hair, can I have it?" *Proceeds to rip out girl's hair*
Him: "Nice ass"
Me: "Thats cannibalism"
😂😂😂
How do you think he got the soul patch?
I wanna like your comment, but it's at 420, so I'm just gonna leave it.
Your hair is like spaghetti
I died at the “Your eyes are like blueberries” part. I’d rather come clean to tell my parents I failed college and am jobless rather than to tell them I do something as cringey as this. If you, Mr. Professor in the video, are seeing my comment, you aren’t teaching us how to flirt, you are teaching us how to be social creepers and how to be left on red.
When he said "Little Kids" with a straight face ....I jumped out of my seat and started laughing out tears
"Who are the best flirts in the world?"
Me: I guess that is up to personal pref-
Soul patch: *little kids*
Me: 🚔
👮
👁 👁
You know the FBI definitely paid him a visit after he posted that
I too turned into a police car upon hearing that.
How's Pagani?
"How To Flirt With A Girl" - as written and directed by Tommy Wiseau.
I like to think Tommy Wiseau has slightly more class than this guy :D
Oh hai Mark!
Hey! Don't insult Tommy's proficiency in this sort of things! He got himself Lisa, the most beautiful girl in a world (according to The Room anyway)
poop It's not true I did not eat her eyeballs I did not do it it's bullshit I did naaaaaat. Oh hi Mark.
I did not hit her, it's not true, I did not hit her, I did not.
"I dont go into any kids, and I dont let any kids go into me" im going to live by this quote
Thank you so much for the blueberry pickup line, i have officially used it on my crush and she said she will see me again soon for our court date 🤟🏽
i honestly think you're being a little too harsh on this guy. i followed his techniques and lots of girls called me special.
They probably told you to go to a “special school”
Good one lol
I'm sure they do... I'm sure they do
Being too nice and putting a girl on the pedestal actually puts you in a friendzone tho
*ed. special ed they meant
This dude is creeping me out 100. He looks like he's about to ask us if we've been a good girl.
I’m someone who’s in to the “good girl” thing, but if he even TRIED that I would stab his kneecaps. He is so creepy XD
@Rin drinking gin let's say, hypothetically, you've been a bad girl
@@jeffreythomas3080 let's say, hypothetically, for the sake of the argument, you've been a neutral girl
@@blizzarrdd8149 “meh girl” doesn’t quite get me going
@@jeffreythomas3080 "you've been a very meh girl this year."
Why do I feel like the guy in this video has never even actually talked to/flirted with a single woman in his entire life? Because honestly he's giving the weirdest, most creepy advice ever LOL 🤣
Jeez this is the best Reddit advice I’ve ever gotten
Roleplay you say?
_I put on my robe and wizard hat_
Actual better odds than this guy would get you.
Don’t forget to rush him like a Rhino
I got that 🙃🙃
Tyler Gray ROLL INITIATIVE
Duh d-deh doo *_DEH DOOO_*
How to get a girlfriend.
Step 1: behave like a psycho from borderlands
"I WILL DROPKICK YOUR BABIES!"
I HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE!!!
HA HA AAAHHHH, THE FLESH!
I WILL EAT YOUR BLUEBERRY EYES!
Im certain b2 psycho get laid more time than discount hitler
Instructions were perfectly clear, I've been charged with sexual assault, thanks flirt expert.
This looks like those safety videos you show students in highschool to show them how people try to spike drinks at bars
When the screaming and the bleeding started, I realized I had fucked up. Going for the eyes was supposed to come _after_ the bit about blueberries.
*rips her eyes out*
Shit, I forgot. THEY'RE BLUEBERRIES!
Phew, saved it
*hard cut to hardcore ballslapping secks*
Brett VV You sir, started a five minute laughing fit that left me light-headed. I wasn’t even producing sound after a bit.
I genuinely wish I could like this multiple times.
Everyone makes mistakes. Try another girl and make sure you do it in the right order this time
his facial hair is like hitler's but on a different level...literally.
Here have a reply. Bye.
One floor closer to hell.
Did you copy the comment about you?
Fuck the soul patch....that's Hitler's taint
Eva: "Adolf, you need a new career. And change your looks, maybe the moustache. "
1:42 Love the early 2000’s, zoomed so far into his face we can only see the shadows of his hand gestures
"Your eyes are like blueberries. I just wanna touch them. I wanna eat them. I'm hungry!!"
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAA!!!!!!
"The best flirts in the world... are little kids."
*what the f-*
*BREAKING DOWN DOOR INTENSIFIES*
*FBI OPEN UP*
**Chris Hansen knocks on the door**
Libertarian moment
@@carolederent7638 what's a libertarian?
He takes women's eyes so they can't see his soul patch
He's doing them a favour, really.
They call him red soulo cup. But it’s because of the GHB, not the soul patch.
This is the first video I’ve ever watched of Charlie. Thanks to my friend for introducing me to this channel almost two years ago.
3 years on and this guy still has me dying, this is pure class
I almost died from second hand embarrassment.
λολ
That's a good definition for 'cringe'
@@247sapphire That is the literal translation of cringe to Brazilian Portuguese.
The divorce thing has ssssooomeee potential.
"Hey babe, sorry about the divorce but it's not all bad as far as the settlement.
You get the house, you get the kids, I'll just get your number."
Then you wink and do finger guns for five minutes straight. Even if she walks away, just follow her continuing the finger gun process, it is crucial for your success.
Just tried this. The police had real guns though... is that a part of the plan :D
*instructions not clear. I'm stuck in a tree and the police are yelling at me*
Lmao
Pew pew
When a woman is telling you your pickup line...
I just watched this video and YT's automatic chapters make this even better. The last chapter is called "Make it creepy" as if that is the last step of flirting. Tbf it often seems to be just that, though.
I tried those pick up lines to find my soulmate, instead I found my cellmate
Instructions unclear: ripped a girls eyes out
I don't see anything wrong with the instructions given or the results
@@aarava1176 that's what she said.
Same except I just got out of jail
Hope you at least ate them
@@aarava1176 neither did she
I know basically nothing about flirting, but somehow I feel like I know *less* than I did before... 😐
LokiLord just don’t talk about divorce and don’t touch their eyes. i don’t think you can be as bad as this reptile
You now know what not to do
This has to be satire there’s no way it’s not
Videos like this keep me at night, rocking in a sitting fetal position while I mutter "it can't be real.. it can't be real.. it can't be real.." to myself.
Yes role play Divorce with the girl you just met. That’ll get em
Jeanette Vasko Got to set the bar low.
Watch her tear up when reminded of her parents messy divorce
The old one,two gets em everytime 🤣
How to ACTUALLY flirt: "Yo, did you catch Cr1tikal's newest vid?"
Lunchbox Nah, that is still a bit weak and it doesn't guarantee success, here's the golden line: "Hey, I sponsor Charlie's stream, you can drop your panties now" (the last bit is not really necessary since they most probably already did by the time you ask). Works every time, real testimony.
Gerardo Sanchez that's talking it to the next level
Lunchbox Damn that's hot. Wanna watch some Cr1tikal videos and eat each other's eyes so our sense of hearing heightens and Charlie's voice becomes god like?
aw fuck yeah let's mash pissers
What's sad is, my past three relationships started because we liked Charlie's videos.
3:58 the hardest I’ve ever laughed at any of Charlie’s vids
How to flirt with a girl:
*That's a nice head you have on your shoulders.*
Step 1: be attractive
*FAILED*
@Kevin Calhoun well thats the secret don t try hard
@BIll clinton how did it go?
BIll clinton I relate to this so much it hurts. I spent years at college not saying much to anyone, then I had a random girl randomly talk to me out of nowhere, asked me for my FB cliché as shit, I told her I got rid of my FB which I did....and did not provide another means of contact. I swear I am sometimes retarded beyond belief.
Step 1: be rich
FAILED
Don't worry. If you aren't attractive you can still make it work with a big cock. Now if you don't have that then DON'T WORRY. You still have being rich. Now if you don't have that then now is when we get to the point of my post where I say something in a stretched out version when all I could have said instead was *YOU'RE FUCKED*
Remember guys, the best way to pick up girls is to tell them you want to eat their eyeballs.
*not responsible for incarceration*
GET LOST *lick* their eyeballs.
ftfy.
Got it
*Any Uchiha exist*
Danzo: Hey i really like your eyes, they are red like strawberries....Can i have them?!?!
I completely lost it at 7:59
I actually did a double take at the whole "little kids are the best flirts" part
thats some twisted fucked thinking if you thought kids know what flirting is
“She was flirting with me officer, I swear!”
Sauce for ya pic?
I was taking a drink at that moment and literally just froze mid-sip when he said that lol
Ok nerd
Instructions unclear I ate a girl's eyes and replaced them with blueberries.
Hermes Kun This man is asking the real questions
Oh my god! It's the ori--BLUE BARRY killer!
I prefer the green ones, those are tasty.
Hermes Kun Only in her eyeholes.
Nah seems like you followed the instructions perfectly
How to accidentally warn young women that you are, in fact, a serial killer.
5:02 no I'm keeping the dog too, or I could just get a new one.