"Why, oh, why does the physical world require so much maintenance?" XDDDDDDDDDDDD This is ME. Dealing with idiots' idiotic idiotism that is DIFFERENT every fuckin time.
7:24 It is kind of a paradox how INJ are uncomfortable with mundane routines... and yet can be obsessively concerned with structure for other systems, like meeting career goals, for instance... which can produce overregulated behavior that don't allow INJ to 'be in the moment' because some distant ideal/rigid sequence of expectations are paramount, and often (as Ni goes) unconsciously motivated.... until the INJ crashes and then binges on sensory pleasures, having forgotten themselves for too long. In other words, your points of advice for inferior Se are so true and tie together beautifully for me, Chris! Thank you! I'd like to emphasize your point that getting outside, going to new places, and/or travelling is definitely what has helped me the most... helps to let go of unhealthy expectations, inspires new ideas, increases energy, improves physical health and well being, and all around is a good idea for every type, honestly. Just don't fall into a trap of over-planning in order to feel control in unfamiliar territory... it is about letting go of control, at least in small ways.
I’m an intj female (20) and growing up I was put into structured dance classes like ballet. I learned valuable skills like being flexible and having rhythm which I appreciate today. However, at a certain point I completely cut off all dance from my life because of how much I despised being around so many people on a daily basis, performing on stage , and learning choreographies. After I left dance, I entered the gym and became obsessed, I went every day for multiple hours a day and even worked out on my own, I also ate extremely structured meals pretending to be ‘healthy’. Now, i’ve figured out that dancing all alone, especially with the lights off, in my own rhythm, really works for me. All I have to monitor is not spending hours dancing and singing and remembering to drink water. I really recommend this care-free way of letting go and also feeling present with your body, the freedom to choose your own music and truly enjoy dancing with nobody watching. Se, is still a difficult thing for me and I suppose it always will but as I grow older I will hopefully learn other things that work for me.
T I clearly remember getting really dry mouth before I ever began dancing, I would forget all the choreography even though I had practiced and I could have easily performed the dances correctly if I was alone. It was like my mind took over and left no room for me to enjoy the dancing. The last years that I was still taking classes I decided to keep going and learning but refused to perform in front of an audience. At this point it was difficult to keep going because I had to be on the sideline while everyone had their spots for the performance. I didn’t mind, but that’s when I realized structured dance just wasn’t for me, so my performance anxiety definitely pushed me to stop taking lessons. I wouldn’t consider dance creative anymore, actually, unless you are the choreographer. I felt like a robot, just learning and repeating, no room for any moves I wanted to integrate. It’s definitely a good workout and form of expression but I much rather create my own steps and movements with varying music styles.
@@annaceliaramirez8558 amazing story. Us INTJs have some profoundly difficult realities to contend with in order to have the superpowers possessed by our type.
I put off taking my body so much. I naturally don't have a strong connection with my internal body cues, e.g. hunger unless I'm starving. I don't even really enjoy eating as much as the average person, from what I can tell. I just view as something I do. Same thing with hygiene. If I have the chance to put it off, I will. But every time I take a shower after a while, I realize how refreshed I feel physically and mentally. As soon as I'm in the shower, I realize what I've been missing and start to enjoy the process. But it never quite hits me until I'm in the midst of it. And maybe that's the whole lesson for engaging and becoming more conscious of Se: you need to force yourself into environments that stimulate Se because you will never have a natural inclination toward it.
Meditation and mindfulness exercises are great since you don't even need to leave the house. Whenever my mind revs up too much, I'll take 5 minutes to sit on a chair, facing a blank wall, and do a full body scan meditation. It's incredibly hard at first but super helpful in the long run. It's also way healthier than using some external stimuli to ground yourself.
I practice abdominal breathing, & meditation as well. I've noticed how it makes me calmer, & more resilient to stress. It also helps me be less reactant when someone is trying to start an argument. Running is also a great habit; it will give you more confidence than anything else you could ever do. It's a great motivator, stress/tension reliever. In a way it's almost spiritual. I started running 2 1/2 years back. At first it was 1 mile every other day, & I gradually increased a half mile at a time, & now I run 3 miles a day 7 days a week. Swimming laps is great for the summer heat.
INxJ here, meditation seems to NEVER work for me, i'll start ruminating and can't just dismiss my thoughts and envy people who can seem to let go, it just never felt like an option to me, it feels impossible when i've only done it a couple of times for 1-2 minutes each out of 50+ attempts it might work for others but my Se is too weak to make it feel worth it
@@dmas7749 ppl think of meditation as something you have to sit down and set aside time to do. You have to do it all day every day to get the hang of it. When you’re grocery shopping or going for a walk or even working, don’t play music or videos. Don’t give your mind unnecessary stimuli. Let yourself be silent. Listen to nature like the birds and wind blowing. Let yourself tune into these sounds you never normally pick up on. If in a store, listen to the conversations of the people next to you. It starts there. If your mind wandering or start to wander, catch it immediately and tune back in with precision like a laser beam. Do this all day everyday, not just as set aside times, and eventually, the set aside times will become easy as cake for you. Spiritual practices are to be lived, not momentarily experienced in pre-packaged ways.
As an INFJ I definitely study things more than take action. The study is nearly always helpful but I get to a point where I've learned enough and need to actually 'do stuff'. Good example, I spend a huge amount of time studying gut health and due to having an autoimmune illness, the research has helped immensely, however.... I realised that sometimes I go into the topic so deeply it has a negative impact on my health. I can spend hours sitting with my laptop without moving. This is very detrimental to gut health! So, just yesterday I decided, I've learned enough now and that the more I learn, the more confused I get with conflicting information, so I'm going to focus on putting into practice what I have learned. It was a big light bulb moment and I could easily have carried on with what feels like an addiction to 'there's still more to understand about this and I'd better keep going otherwise I might miss an important piece of the puzzle/jigsaw/problem'. It's very challenging for us INXJs because we live in the deep inner world of the unconcious, not the outer sensory world. My husband is a Sensor and is completely the opposite of me. If I said to him start thinking really deeply about things, he'd find it impossible! His go to is 'doing stuff' he finds it hard not to.
There is a lot of conflicting information about nutritional health topics. I fell down that rabbit hole, too! Putting it into practice sounds like a great idea. :) Since many sources of information are incomplete or unreliable, I saw the most benefit from assimilating various research and ideas, then experimenting and evaluating with clear awareness of bodily needs/reactions to changes. It is an ongoing process and the goal should never be perfection of knowledge or execution (as hard as that is to accept...). Maybe this will be useful for you, as it was for me... computer screens can 'trick' your brain into thinking time isn't passing due to the high-energy visible (HEV) light, disrupting the circadian rhythm if too much time is spent staring at a screen. So, it is far easier to sit at a computer and research for hours on end than say, read a book at a desk. Digital screens exacerbate any tendency to hyper-focus, so even just stepping away from the computer every half hour or so might help curb over-analysis.
@@Sharkuterie327 Thanks for the advice regarding screens, good stuff! I have been taking action on gut health regarding what I learn, experimenting and seeing what works etc. What I was trying to convey is that eventually it gets to a point where I need to stop taking in more information and prioritise movement and engaging in life more. Going back to basics, like walking, housework, mindfulness, a little yoga etc. When the balance is too heavy towards research, I don't leave myself enough free time to just live in a more basic simple way. My mind wants to pull me back into more investigation. I'd known this for a while but it feels like it really sunk in properly a few days ago.
The need for comprehensive research and the desire to delve deep into a topic to grasp the true nature (and application) of it are something I relate to heavily. I can never get enough information! Sometimes, I'll be content with the knowledge to take action, but other times, I will never act on it. I also think INFJ's perfectionism gets in the way of just starting and taking action.
@@user-ez5vq9fd2t I find it hard to get to the heart of why I research so much. It doesn't feel like perfectionism but perhaps it is. I think I'm after the ideal solution. Is idealism the same as perfectionism? It feels like there are many possible solutions or routes to take and I'm trying to find the best possible route. I think I equate perfectionism to a narrow set of behaviours, like lining up cans in a cupboard so they all face forward and I'm not like that. Perfectionist just isn't a word I'd use to describe myself. Also, I wasn't really very INFJ ish until my 50s. I look back to my early life and I can see the mindset (Ni and Fe dominant) but I didn't go into things deeply with lots of research in my twenties for example. That's when I start to question if I'm an INFJ....perhaps because I'm not a 'perfect fit' lol
Very good advise for repressed Se. I've found it's also about accepting that reality doesn't always match the Ni. Prioritizing and accepting objective reality and giving up on the stubbornness of Ni. Much easier said than done of course...
INTJ here. I am currently learning this too. I want my Ni inner world to come true sooo bad, I neglect the Se real world and when the reality check hits, I get my assed kicked so hard...
A good Se that I've found is rock climbing, specifically indoor bouldering. While it's not feasible during the pandemic, I feel most INxJ's will find rock climbing fun since it's problem solving and pushing your physical body. It's funny how I see people struggle with a problem in a certain way but I intuitively find another route that many would not have seen but it "felt" right when I discovered it without really knowing how haha
Finally! Bouldering is the only sport I enjoy thoroughly. I cannot express how beneficial its practice has been so far. As an INFJ, I discovered many life-lessons through bouldering. Also increased fitness, strength, power, and friends or acquaintances.
Yoga is also great. Not only are you naturally kind of forced to really focus on your body, but that focus also means it's pretty hard to stay stuck in your head (Ni or Te mode for me). Not to mention the longer-term physical and mental health benefits.
Same here! I’m a 33 yo INTJ who picked up bouldering about 3-4 years ago and love it. Something I also started doing a few years ago is cold showers. Every morning starts with a 3min cold shower right as I wake up. I’m sure most people have brain fog and a wandering mind when they wake up but I’m on mars (INTJ thing or just me?). A cold shower snaps me into the physical realm instantly as it prob does with everyone.
3:45 "...gain introverted intuition perception insight from engaging with things in the outer world and if they don't allow themselves to have new extraverted sensing experiences then they won't be able to have new introverted intuition perceptions as well." Great video. This was my favorite part.
I'm 18-year-old INTJ, I'm struggling with a lot of things which seem to be easy for the others with the same age, but your videos help me so much, so I would like to thank you for your great words! I do my best to take your advices :)
you're doing the right thing ❣️ i'm a 58 year old intj, and i struggled with this a lot 40 years ago as well. fortunately, i had a professor that was an mbti guy, and i had learned during my usaf security clearance that i'm intj, when i didn't know what that meant. this professor guided me through this journey, and i learned a lot from him. by educating yourself as you are, you'll kind of work it out in your head as i did, once i got some help. i used to wonder if i had some kind of mental illness, but then realized that i'm just an unusual personality type, but one that has its own strengths, which i've learned to leverage. you will too! it can be challenging, cuz we're sort of odd, but once you learn to work the levers, you'll be ok. best wishes karolina!
If you got it figures out by 18; more power to you. Just act like you have ADD and you’ll be fine. Impulse control and a healthy routine is what would have benefited me the most at that age. Working out helps to channel thoughts better etc.
One of the ways that helped me improving Se is focusing on resistance training 6 days a week and focusing on near perfect form on every set and rep, it really did help me alot, and it made me look better, i know this might sound shallow but its the truth, i think Se inferior types really care about how they look, and the gym will be the best solution, i even get mistyped as ESFP after my transformation from 450 pounds to 173 pounds 12% body fat, i have to mention that it suck going to the gym almost every day, and its draining like hell, but i think it's nessesry for self improvement.
Awesome input. I began to intentionally engage Se be also becoming more physically active. I do pilates which greatly focuses on form and being very aware of bodily movements.
@Shimohira Reika read what i typed carefully, i said "mistyped" as an ESFP, meaning i look like an ESFP, when any type focus on thier inferior functions their hero function gets repressed for a short amount of time depending on how well you can handle the power drain being in that state, Se robs Ni and vice versa, its like a sniper holding his/her breath to increase accuracy, you hold Se to get more Ni, thats why you see most Ni hero users absent minded, and they really care about thier alone time to recharge.
This is a very inspirational post. I always tend to “lose interest” in the SE like working out every week consistently. But I do care about my image and it would help me immensely to reach my goal weight and body figure. Just have to lock in and know that it’s only for a short time everyday.
58 year old intj checking in here. i agree with everything you said. my ways of Se'ing are: i love touring motorcycling. i've ridden bmw motorcycles most of my adult life, often with a small group of friends. sometimes i throw some rifles in the back of the truck and go deep into a forest offroad, here in the rural pacific northwest. i love the scenery, the rivers, the huge trees, the smell of the fir trees and douglas firs, etc. i love the idea of exploring the wilderness, and it's very quiet, which i like a lot. thankfully, i have an amazing sense of direction, so that helps reduce any anxiety about that. i know i can count on myself. hiking over the rough terrain to targets, etc, is also very stimulating, and i love it. i jump the truck around a little, but not so much anymore. i did that a lot in my 30's and 40's though. now that i'm old, i ride an ebike (so i'm sure i'll get home), and get some exercise. i have panniers and a front rack so i can carry groceries home and run errands on it, cuz i'm practical that way, lol!
OMG! That's why I feel immense energy, motivation, happiness and creative will after I take a walk! Holy shit, that's because I engaged in Se stimuluses and it boosted my Ni insights! I need to take this walks a lot more and explore unknown territories of the entire city. I'm starting to love Se so much! 🥳🥳🥳
I’m really struggling with dating due to my very low functioning extroverted sensing. Just scrolling through the dating apps and messaging people gives me so much anxiety. Going on first dates makes me a nervous wreck. I’m really trying. But it feels so unnatural and causes my body physical stress. My friends are casual and fun with dating (as it should be!) and I’m so jealous of that!!
I'm an INFJ and I'm a dancer (breaking), I was taking part in tournaments for years but that was not for me, a lot of noise and people for too much time, now I'm just training for my self and It's much better.
As an INTJ, I realized I changed a lot thanks to my close friend who is ESFP. I learned many things from her since Se is her dominant function. Thanks to her, I discovered Brazilian jiujitsu. At first, I was reluctant to even try but she really believed I would love it with my way of thinking. I ended trying and loved it instantly. I think doing jiujitsu is the best thing that ever happened to me, it's like a human game of chess and I need to use my brain constantly to be able to win. It's also the only time where I really feel in the present moment.
I always feel like an outcast with other INTJs. Most of my family are S types. I grew up playing sports and boxing from very young. Learned to play and make music in an orchestral band and marching band. Also moved a lot. My extraverted sensing was developed a lot early on.
I got you, i grew up in a neighborhood with no friends and so I played soccer alone for entire vacations, and so I very proficient and everyone praised me. But I was always frail in comparison to Se types that were into rising bikes and fighting.
I definitely can relate. I'm a girl and my sport was basketball growing up. I was pretty good actually but definitely always in my head. As an adult I work out and have recently got into boxing. Been having a hard time evading punches but hopefully it gets better with time. I also love concerts lol. Still as intj as they come though. My family is a bunch of sensors too and helping me not get too far out of touch with my physical reality is one of the pros of having them around
Yeah similar to me, parents are ESFJ/ISFJ so I did a lot of sports like basketball and soccer then did band. I dance now and some music stuff. I think I still struggle with daily habits and routines though x)
I'm 20 year old- INFJ , I like to take walks in my house if I'm in home walking after every 30-60 minutes. I think walking can be a good start for using inferior Se since walking is the simplest exercise
Hey, Asura :) INFJ here. One sensory thing ive never had an issue with is hygiene. I take shower twice a day, don't wear the same clothes every day and hate the feeling of being physically dirty. In fact i can't stand people with bad hygiene. I've always been like that. I'm very sensitive to bad smells also. I've been doing yoga every morning for probably about four years now and it has definitely improved the connection with my body. I was decently physically active until I turned 14 and had a head injury after which I got very inactive and went rapidly out of shape. Still recovering from that 17 years later...
I struggle to eat in morning. So I've invented something called 'Breakfast Desserts'. Basically cakes, mousses, flans, scones, but with some fruit, nut, or veg (like carrot cake or pecan pie or hot cross buns) so I can give it the heart health tick of approval 😁. Add a cuppa coffee, and it gets the day started! INFJ, 53yo (Yes, you too can reach this level of Se, with maturity and patience).
As an INTJ woman, 1 is of my bad extroverted sensing uses, whereas 2 is where its good. 1.I have such poor sleep that i have actually lost my menstral cycle. Its rlly horrible and i also had a binge eating disorder also. I also would disocoiate too. 2.But, I like going on walks alone tho. I take photos of pretty things like the fog.
I am also an INTJ who has had seroius sleep problems my whole life (47). I recently got on a low carb diet and after a few weeks I started sleeping like a rock more often than not. It may not be for everyone, but worth concidering.
INTJ here, I always had a thing for tinkering, building, repairing, crafting things, basically anything I can make with bare hands. Woodworking and sewing are big loves, wood and fabrics and the physicality of it all really do nice things to my brain. I'm also learning guitar and love long walks. I enjoy cleaning my home too, purely for the Se rush (and the satisfaction of everything being just right in the home too, ofc). It's true that I can't take much high Se activities like noisy bars or concerts, but I think I'm in a really good place with my Se. The older I get the more I find myself doing these kinds of things if I have free time rather than picking up a book.
I realized at some point that I would much rather engage in a sport that allows me to challenge myself (e.g. swimming, snowboarding) than team sports. About 12 years ago I decided to get into weightlifting. I went crazy learning about different routines, proper technique, eating habits, how to hit all the muscle groups evenly so I wouldn't end up looking freakishly asymmetrical, etc. Never had a lifting buddy. Just went to the gym first thing in the morning, popped in my headphones, and tried to apply everything that I had learned. One of the best habits I ever got into.
Other activities that you can engage in, to connect with your body-for all the reasons mentioned-are: cooking/baking, building/repairing/woodworking/metalworking/leatherrworking, sewing/knitting/crocheting/embroidering, organizing/interior designing, cycling, running.
I sometimes have to remind myself that my physical and emotional wellbeing has direct and indirect effects on my mental functions. I know this intellectually, of course, but it's another thing altogether to act on that knowledge and remember to take better care of myself. It helps that I am married now. My wife reminds me of these things sometimes. She'll come home from her work and find that I've spent all day working on a research or editing project, or that I was so focused on answering others' questions about computers, plants, etc. that I lost track of time and forgot to eat meals. Sometimes, I even forget to get dressed if I've no reason to leave the house that day and spend the whole day in my pajamas. :) Then, she'll come home and recommend that I put on regular clothes and go out to eat with her or go shopping with her or something. We budget for eating out frequently even though we know that it isn't as economical as eating at home, but it is important for me to get out of the house and have new experiences on a regular basis. Sometimes, she'll even insist on us eating at a new restaurant just so things are different. She also 'drags' me to events at church, with her coworkers, out in the community etc. She'll even get us tickets for comic book conventions because she knows that I'm into the stuff they have at them (and she's gradually gotten into some of it too and found that she enjoys it). She knows that the crowds will be difficult to cope with, so we don't always stay all day and we never get the full-convention passes. After the convention (or other such intense situations) she'll take us somewhere quiet and calming like a park or garden so that I can decompress and talk with her about what we experienced. I'm very fortunate to have someone understanding and caring like her in my life. Which reminds me, I need to find a way to express that to her in the near future.
Excellent analysis. I really related to reading into certain things as deeper and more complex than they actually are. I struggle with seeing things as is. I also struggle with trying new things in the real world. It’s hard for me to break routine and explore due to fear of the unknown. It’s weird because in my internal world, everything is limitless but in the external world I’m very rigid and boxed in.
that reading deeper comment impacted me, cuz i'm a tech sales guy. i actually use the captain obvious "step back, take it at face value" thing as a way of joking around at work. i can kind of tell, when we're over-analyzing something, so i'm like: "or we could just nuke it" sort of response. at some point i just slice through the gordian knot, cuz i've been there in my own head.
“Did I enjoy these routines? No, not in the slightest.” 🤣 Family and friends want you to smile through the pain of hanging out with a lot of people. Just be happy I didn’t leave yet.
Yeah martial arts is great for developing Se. After doing it for a long time it is like I have a bubble around me where I have outstanding control, but a few feet outside it still gets messy. The first times I sparred, even slowly and no real contact, I got complete information overload as Ni refused to get out of the driver`s seat - even as a very active INTJ who could mix it up with the best Se doms in other sports. Now I think of it as activating my ESFP / reverse stack but Ni is in the back seat whispering strategic insight "sweep the leg".
2:20 _"They are going to miss the face-value value of situations that they are, in while attempting to come to some conclusion about the situation that they are in."_ True that. I notice that the wisest always say the most obvious things. I oftentimes overlook the obvious feeling that it doesn't need to be stated. I'd look into why someone is fat and rather than spend my energy to get them to exercise I'd try to solve their unresolved emotions/issues whatever.
INFJ here, the military helped me with my Se, also I went sky diving recently. It was highly unpredictable. Also, I had to move from my country to America and this helped me out greatly. I generally enjoy my Se in small moderation and this is very amazing.
As an ISFP, looking back at My healthy Se times, what I can share you guys is, find friends that are "superficial" and not nerdy. Find friends that are social, extroverted, Superficial but no stupid, superficial in a way that they aren't people whose life is staying alone too much, staying at home too much, have reading as a hobbie.
For me extroverted sensing is being mindful, that's a very soft way, without obsessing about it. Sometimes that happens...Yesterday I was rowing for the first time. I was on the go with my ESTP mom and was a little bit more brave towards new sports than normal. I really didn't like it in the moment😅, but I was proud afterwards. With my ESTP mum I had the belive that I have to learn every sensing activity as fast as she. I also recognized that I was much slower in learning new sensory activity things. That's also why I now still have the thought "I'm not good at sports" even thats not true at all. I hope I can be less and more chill with situations like missing things that are right under my nose and appearing clumsy sometimes, don't put blame or shame on me anymore😊. Greeting from Germany😊
That was an eye opener to me, bc as an ENTP i of course have some INTJ and INFJ friends... and although i saw them struggling with something i was never able to put my finger on, on what was actually the real reason behind it.
The beginning was such a lightbulb moment for me omg; often my Se-dominant brother will show/tell me things and I don't get them because I'm looking so far past them to try and see the deeper meaning that I don't see it for what it is
I understand that you are a deep well of constructive information and you just want to get your point across yet you have to go through all the details to form a good explanation for everyone to comprehend, and your minds works so fast once it grasps a concept fully and you just have so many ways to explain it(INTJ STUFF) I get it!! BUTTTTT you are speaking so fast my friend, you're in your mind zone and neglecting the fact that there is an audience in front of you, that will find it unpleasant for the ear, in other words you 're repressing your SE while giving advice how on how to develop it! Take a DEEP BREATH! and Thanks a lot for the video!
Yup. Don't force too much sensory experience on yourself. Kinda off topic but I literally get panic attacks from strong sensory overload. I certainly don't have autism and probably also not any other cognitive condition. I am very healthy. So I always wondered that I just cannot pin point what's wrong with me. Never gonna shop at Primark at rush hour ever again... Edit: maybe this condition that I have is called "INTJ"
Wow. I took my first MBTI when I was 27 as part of a study as I entered a Masters program. The professor was studying if the program had any affect on our personality. He went over what it all meant in class. I got another one about 6 months after the program. The results were not much different. Sadly, I don't have that data anymore. That was 1987-88, I didn't exactly have much reference material to explain all of this. 16 years ago I ended a horrible marriage, and work started to change what I did and required me to become more extroverted. Those two things left me very stressed. I would do things I didn't understand, like constant overeating. With the help of a therapist I have made progress getting more healthy. This video explained so much. I'll probably have to review it several times. Thanks. Oh, and BTW I recently took the MBTI over. There may not have been a change before. That was 30 years ago. I'm 60 now and really could not care less what most people think of me. My scores have now changed to reflect that. The private/solitary is fire walled, and the introverted is close to maxed out. I think several of the other scores have moved significantly as well.
5:06 "Get out of your house occasionally"...ack! What I have learned over the years is that I can Se for a period of time. I can diet, take Yoga and or do something physical but only for so long...about 6 weeks. When I was little, I knew I needed to do something well so I signed up for all sorts of classes like ballet, sports et al. My mother would receive some strange bill for a class I had been taking and I would have some explaining to do. I won't mention the trip home in my mother's car from a museum art class Downtown after I missed my bus ride home. I took my son who is an INTP to my INTJ, with me to a Yoga studio and asked him to try it out for a little while. I may have hinted about the cute hippie chicks in tight black yoga pants... He lasted for about 4 weeks. I tended to spend more time learning about the history of Yoga then actually practicing my positions. Se for me is like having to use my left hand. I can and will but its never entirely comfortable. Te-rrific explanations, AsuraPysch. Did you ever play an instrument? If so, how did you decide which one?
I did! I played alto saxophone all the way through highschool, even did marching band. I enjoyed it a bit but wasnt something that stuck around after graduation.
@@AsuraPsych I played alto sax. I was determined not to play the clarinet or the flute because that's what the other girls wanted to play. The sax is cool ...I tended to study it more than I practiced.
@@wynstansmom829 I am the same in being able to engage in Se activities for about 6 weeks and then I just loose the habit. I've repeated that pattern many times!
Whenever I get severely stuck in thought loops and am unable to break out of those, it does really help me to stop what I do, go to the gym and do my favorite work-out. It's a "virtual group class" of power pump. So I can choose whenever I want to do it if the space is free. It's ideal for me, because I can do it alone, there's a limited amount of exercises for each muscle group (predictable+striving for perfection with each movement), the music is fairly enjoyable and energizing, and I don't have to/can't think about other stuff for one hour, because someone is shouting instructions to me and the exercise is rather intense. Plus I find motivation in feeling strong, because it requires the use of weights, and helps me in doing other activities throughout the week without any back pains or just with more ease.
I find it easiest to just enjoy the moment for what it is if I have an extrovert to follow who is proficient in this. I can just do what they're doing...much easier than trying to figure out how to have fun by myself :D I do like just going for walks, hikes, etc. See the sights, smell the smells... I also like just going for a long random drive. Pick a road and head out, don't even look at a map ahead of time, just meander my way around until I find my way back again. Best when there are mountains.
I loved your martial arts example for brief but intense uses of extroverted sensing; another example that worked for me is public speaking. I love the rush that comes when I come off the podium after a good speech.
Daamn this was interesting, thanks a lot! It helped me a lot to understand my relationship with drugs: It's always been clear to me that they both make me to tone down the intensity of reality, while also giving me "experiences" as I used to put it.
I really needed to hear this🙏🏾 I must try and start implementing these sensing routines. Just getting into the shower each morning is a struggle 😣 But once I'm experiencing Se moments, like swimming or walking in the sun, I enjoy it.
Leaving the house is something I generally do only if I have too. For me, it was school all the way through a Ph.D. Then I moved to the other side of the table and taught university. Now I am retired, so I have to find reasons to go out. Generally, I do it for exercise.
Every point you made hit with me as an INFJ. I like the ocassional concert. I hate the energy of bars. Even the part about martial arts was accurate. I really enjoyed Krav Maga and short intense bursts of sense experience you describe. I have heard a lot about my leading 2 functions but this helped me understand how Se works with Ni better than I have heard before. I can work all day and never think about lunch. But I love the ocassional indulgence. I really love and appreciate exceptional food. I do not prioritize working out on my own, but If I have a dedicated friend to go with I’ll do it. Thank you. This was helpful!
Thank you for this video, I can especially relate to the point about routines - I do need routines for almost anything relating to the physical world - like getting up, getting ready, to make food, and especially for physical exercise because they all feel so unnatural to me and I absolutely do not enjoy doing them. Am almost religious in my routines otherwise would avoid to no end ! Even cutting a tomato is like a struggle 😂
Thank you for this! 👏🏻 It helps explain my Se experiences - the good, bad and the ugly - but also helps me to be more healthy. I just wished I knew the details of my INFJ personality years ago. Better late than never.
Great video! What works for me to keep the Se sane is: 1) walking 🚶♀️ in the fields/forest/along river - minimum of 30-60 minutes everyday (while listening to music or podcasts or making a phone call to a friend or relative) 2) yoga 3) sketching ✍️ I totally agree with what you said - INFs generally hate to engage in the activities you mentioned. But telling someone that I will call them during my daily walk, lends some accountability and I tend to stick with the habit.
Good advice! I hope you don't mind me suggesting that having more visuals in your videos besides just you talking might help distractable types focus more (don't know if it's because your audience is largely INTJ\INFJ who don't require so much visual stimulation!).
Very good video Asura! As an INTJ my Indications for Se development are working out, walking and martial arts. Specially if you are an INTJ 5 on enneagram, because type 5 connection to 8 makes you engange in your instinctual energy, with is beneficial for not being overly on your mind everytime.
I never really get the "they do not like routine in the slightest" for the introverted intuitive types. I love creating routines (keeping up with them might be problematic at times, but having a sense of their existence is a must)
INTJ here and I actually have a list that tells me to brush my teeth, stretch, take vitamins etc. When my husband saw my list with 1. brush teeth on it he thought it was a joke and asked what that was for? I guess he still doesn't know me after 20+ years.
This video was so helpful. Every point was an aha moment. I’d often think utilizing Se would be helpful after a day of tiring NiTe, but I was afraid I would fall into a grip so I would stimulate Se with sensory payloads that I would control in quantity or time spent and it never helped. Thank you for making this video, it helps us INTJs feel more human and I think the Se examples you gave were great practical options. Thank you again.
This is really solid and valuable illumination. If I may add some more light and helpfulness. Personal reflection on what feelings call an intj or infj to extraverted sensing. How to know when we need that new sensory experience. Which is to simply use our basic senses on something that they are not used to sensing. For me it's when I feel like their isn't enough to reflect on which make me start to rapidly increase my loss of inner peace. It is literally maddening to ignore ones repressed function.
Thank for the video as an intj I struggle mainly with my Se grip in which I lose control over myself and I indulge in some self destructive behavior as I intend to escape painful emotions or diff situations that cannot be solved through reason. I used to sing hard rock/ alternative metal music and I just have this question. I used to shake and get all stressed out on stage but after a year I enjoyed that and one thing I learnt is that with a band anyth can happen and you have to think on the spot and I developed that sense of quick thinkig under stress and going with the flow. However, I don't underdtand why intjs wont enjoy going to concert if the people they are going with or the crowd is like minded.... I find Rock and J-Rock/anime community really interesting and fun to be around and it is surprisingly filled with introverts xD
This is so accurate and so affective. I've done this off and on throughout my life. I can tell the difference for sure but the awareness is even better. Thanks man. Best advice I could get 🏧
Brilliant explanation and great examples. INFJ, I hate new things but love learning things so a paradox again but you have put this so clearly that I actually feel quite excited about trying. Thank you, again.
INFJ advice here - I don’t recommend kickboxing class. Imagine yelling, punching, bouncing and kicking along with loud music and a screaming instructor in a room full of bright fluorescent lights and over-pumped people. It’s the only exercise class I ever walked out on half-way through. Yoga and Pilates are waaaaaay better. And walks are nice.
I've taken the test two times, and I am an INTJ. Although I drain out after socialising, I love to socialize and meet new people and listen to them. I also like seeing new places cause of the same reason that I wouldn't know what to expect. But I need time to recharge after I go out for more than a few days, I cannot do it for an extended period of time.
Se- being present in the moment. I SUCK at that (INFJ). I homeschool and have been dealing with a child with ADHD, we have been taking 5 minutes of mindfulness (literally 5 minutes listening to a pretty, mellow classical song- I love Yann Tiersen’s Valse d’ Amélie) and just trying to focus on your breath for that 5 minutes. That’s it. It actually has helped me too. Not just my kids. Also- exercise. So my husband is a type 1 diabetic, and while I’m fairly healthy, and had been battling clinical depression, my doctor wanted me to exercise. I could not muster up the Se to do it. Starting is the worst. But my husbands glucose was regularly in the 400s so I did it for him- I felt SO MUCH BETTER MYSELF! And I mean simple- 10-15 min Tabata or HIIT workouts using a free WOD app. My brain, my mood, my ability to get things done.... wow. It was to encourage him, but I agree. It really helped me so much! I also like camping. Because I’m allowed to practice just BEING in the moment in a calm “safe” not crowded way. I can practice trying to just make random decisions like “right now I guess I’ll go for a walk” or read, or play a game, etc. there’s nothing I HAVE to do atm. So I’m free to just exist in the now. It’s good from time to time.
You helped me understand how to not let my Se get out of hand, I always suppress it and so I can see why it is hard to control but I need to start validating it more. Thanks!
As an INTJ (T) I thought that taking up martial arts or boxing would be a great idea to stimulate (SE). For a time it was...but I always lost interest or started hating the idea of meeting up and participating in highly stressful and confrontational activity.
Great Video! So, so helpful! Im an INTJ musician, and I think I understand now why I sometimes feel so deeply connected to music that im listening to / playing, but also why I often dissociate and view music so abstractly in its individual components… I’m wondering if there is a way to learn how to deliberately choose between using Ni or Se (in a healthy way ofc) when engaging with the world. It’s always easy to zone out and use Ni, but Se only seems to be available when something is either really interesting or comfortable/pleasant. Could you maybe do a video on something like that?
![What it's like to have Inferior Extraverted Sensing [INFJ and INTJ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/p_f6gf0a0i4/mqdefault.jpg)
![What it's like to have Inferior Extraverted Sensing [INFJ and INTJ]](/img/tr.png)
"It's important for INTJs to get out of their house."
Government: "Stay home, stay safe!"
INTJ: 😏
I was honestly sad when we could go out again
🤣 true af
2020 was just another year...
Intj: *goes outside and touches some grass*
“Ugh, weird.”
… until the next year 👾
@@HansHammertime Me too. I'm not even going to lie about it
I must say I really enjoy hearing an INTJ talk about cognitive functions. So much more researched and concise when presenting info like this.
Why, oh, why does the physical world require so much maintenance? It really is so boring and it interrupts the fun things I want to focus on! ;)
Yup. And I am not even an intj. Intp. That might be one of the reasons a syereotypucal intp want to develop a robot to do household tasks.
thijsjong If you can build it, I will buy it!!!!!
"Why, oh, why does the physical world require so much maintenance?" XDDDDDDDDDDDD This is ME. Dealing with idiots' idiotic idiotism that is DIFFERENT every fuckin time.
THIS.As an INFJ I agree.
Right?! I literally have to brush my teeth at least once a day... don't even get me started on litter boxes.
7:24 It is kind of a paradox how INJ are uncomfortable with mundane routines... and yet can be obsessively concerned with structure for other systems, like meeting career goals, for instance... which can produce overregulated behavior that don't allow INJ to 'be in the moment' because some distant ideal/rigid sequence of expectations are paramount, and often (as Ni goes) unconsciously motivated.... until the INJ crashes and then binges on sensory pleasures, having forgotten themselves for too long. In other words, your points of advice for inferior Se are so true and tie together beautifully for me, Chris! Thank you!
I'd like to emphasize your point that getting outside, going to new places, and/or travelling is definitely what has helped me the most... helps to let go of unhealthy expectations, inspires new ideas, increases energy, improves physical health and well being, and all around is a good idea for every type, honestly. Just don't fall into a trap of over-planning in order to feel control in unfamiliar territory... it is about letting go of control, at least in small ways.
I’m an intj female (20) and growing up I was put into structured dance classes like ballet. I learned valuable skills like being flexible and having rhythm which I appreciate today. However, at a certain point I completely cut off all dance from my life because of how much I despised being around so many people on a daily basis, performing on stage , and learning choreographies. After I left dance, I entered the gym and became obsessed, I went every day for multiple hours a day and even worked out on my own, I also ate extremely structured meals pretending to be ‘healthy’. Now, i’ve figured out that dancing all alone, especially with the lights off, in my own rhythm, really works for me. All I have to monitor is not spending hours dancing and singing and remembering to drink water. I really recommend this care-free way of letting go and also feeling present with your body, the freedom to choose your own music and truly enjoy dancing with nobody watching. Se, is still a difficult thing for me and I suppose it always will but as I grow older I will hopefully learn other things that work for me.
How do you do with your performance anxiety? Do you feel like that plays into why you didn't like dance?
T I clearly remember getting really dry mouth before I ever began dancing, I would forget all the choreography even though I had practiced and I could have easily performed the dances correctly if I was alone. It was like my mind took over and left no room for me to enjoy the dancing. The last years that I was still taking classes I decided to keep going and learning but refused to perform in front of an audience. At this point it was difficult to keep going because I had to be on the sideline while everyone had their spots for the performance. I didn’t mind, but that’s when I realized structured dance just wasn’t for me, so my performance anxiety definitely pushed me to stop taking lessons. I wouldn’t consider dance creative anymore, actually, unless you are the choreographer. I felt like a robot, just learning and repeating, no room for any moves I wanted to integrate. It’s definitely a good workout and form of expression but I much rather create my own steps and movements with varying music styles.
@@annaceliaramirez8558 amazing story. Us INTJs have some profoundly difficult realities to contend with in order to have the superpowers possessed by our type.
I do the same :"D thanks for sharing
infj -- THIS! yes to lights off!
I put off taking my body so much. I naturally don't have a strong connection with my internal body cues, e.g. hunger unless I'm starving. I don't even really enjoy eating as much as the average person, from what I can tell. I just view as something I do. Same thing with hygiene. If I have the chance to put it off, I will. But every time I take a shower after a while, I realize how refreshed I feel physically and mentally. As soon as I'm in the shower, I realize what I've been missing and start to enjoy the process. But it never quite hits me until I'm in the midst of it. And maybe that's the whole lesson for engaging and becoming more conscious of Se: you need to force yourself into environments that stimulate Se because you will never have a natural inclination toward it.
The dreaded shower! I used to put on my to do list and then gave up on that bc I felt so guilty for not completing.
Meditation and mindfulness exercises are great since you don't even need to leave the house. Whenever my mind revs up too much, I'll take 5 minutes to sit on a chair, facing a blank wall, and do a full body scan meditation. It's incredibly hard at first but super helpful in the long run. It's also way healthier than using some external stimuli to ground yourself.
I practice abdominal breathing, & meditation as well.
I've noticed how it makes me calmer, & more resilient to stress.
It also helps me be less reactant when someone is trying to start an argument.
Running is also a great habit; it will give you more confidence than anything else you could ever do.
It's a great motivator, stress/tension reliever.
In a way it's almost spiritual. I started running 2 1/2 years back. At first it was 1 mile every other day, & I gradually increased a half mile at a time, & now I run 3 miles a day 7 days a week. Swimming laps is great for the summer heat.
INxJ here, meditation seems to NEVER work for me, i'll start ruminating and can't just dismiss my thoughts and envy people who can seem to let go, it just never felt like an option to me, it feels impossible when i've only done it a couple of times for 1-2 minutes each out of 50+ attempts
it might work for others but my Se is too weak to make it feel worth it
Same here.
@@dmas7749 ppl think of meditation as something you have to sit down and set aside time to do. You have to do it all day every day to get the hang of it. When you’re grocery shopping or going for a walk or even working, don’t play music or videos. Don’t give your mind unnecessary stimuli. Let yourself be silent. Listen to nature like the birds and wind blowing. Let yourself tune into these sounds you never normally pick up on. If in a store, listen to the conversations of the people next to you. It starts there. If your mind wandering or start to wander, catch it immediately and tune back in with precision like a laser beam. Do this all day everyday, not just as set aside times, and eventually, the set aside times will become easy as cake for you. Spiritual practices are to be lived, not momentarily experienced in pre-packaged ways.
@@ac-jn1iq i really just don't have the focus and sometimes i need the music to drown out the noise, sorry i just can't lol
As an INFJ I definitely study things more than take action. The study is nearly always helpful but I get to a point where I've learned enough and need to actually 'do stuff'. Good example, I spend a huge amount of time studying gut health and due to having an autoimmune illness, the research has helped immensely, however.... I realised that sometimes I go into the topic so deeply it has a negative impact on my health. I can spend hours sitting with my laptop without moving. This is very detrimental to gut health! So, just yesterday I decided, I've learned enough now and that the more I learn, the more confused I get with conflicting information, so I'm going to focus on putting into practice what I have learned. It was a big light bulb moment and I could easily have carried on with what feels like an addiction to 'there's still more to understand about this and I'd better keep going otherwise I might miss an important piece of the puzzle/jigsaw/problem'.
It's very challenging for us INXJs because we live in the deep inner world of the unconcious, not the outer sensory world. My husband is a Sensor and is completely the opposite of me. If I said to him start thinking really deeply about things, he'd find it impossible! His go to is 'doing stuff' he finds it hard not to.
There is a lot of conflicting information about nutritional health topics. I fell down that rabbit hole, too! Putting it into practice sounds like a great idea. :) Since many sources of information are incomplete or unreliable, I saw the most benefit from assimilating various research and ideas, then experimenting and evaluating with clear awareness of bodily needs/reactions to changes. It is an ongoing process and the goal should never be perfection of knowledge or execution (as hard as that is to accept...).
Maybe this will be useful for you, as it was for me... computer screens can 'trick' your brain into thinking time isn't passing due to the high-energy visible (HEV) light, disrupting the circadian rhythm if too much time is spent staring at a screen. So, it is far easier to sit at a computer and research for hours on end than say, read a book at a desk. Digital screens exacerbate any tendency to hyper-focus, so even just stepping away from the computer every half hour or so might help curb over-analysis.
@@Sharkuterie327 Thanks for the advice regarding screens, good stuff! I have been taking action on gut health regarding what I learn, experimenting and seeing what works etc. What I was trying to convey is that eventually it gets to a point where I need to stop taking in more information and prioritise movement and engaging in life more. Going back to basics, like walking, housework, mindfulness, a little yoga etc. When the balance is too heavy towards research, I don't leave myself enough free time to just live in a more basic simple way. My mind wants to pull me back into more investigation. I'd known this for a while but it feels like it really sunk in properly a few days ago.
Helen Thomas Ah, I see what you mean. Thanks for clarifying! 😊
The need for comprehensive research and the desire to delve deep into a topic to grasp the true nature (and application) of it are something I relate to heavily. I can never get enough information! Sometimes, I'll be content with the knowledge to take action, but other times, I will never act on it. I also think INFJ's perfectionism gets in the way of just starting and taking action.
@@user-ez5vq9fd2t I find it hard to get to the heart of why I research so much. It doesn't feel like perfectionism but perhaps it is. I think I'm after the ideal solution. Is idealism the same as perfectionism? It feels like there are many possible solutions or routes to take and I'm trying to find the best possible route. I think I equate perfectionism to a narrow set of behaviours, like lining up cans in a cupboard so they all face forward and I'm not like that. Perfectionist just isn't a word I'd use to describe myself.
Also, I wasn't really very INFJ ish until my 50s. I look back to my early life and I can see the mindset (Ni and Fe dominant) but I didn't go into things deeply with lots of research in my twenties for example. That's when I start to question if I'm an INFJ....perhaps because I'm not a 'perfect fit' lol
Very good advise for repressed Se.
I've found it's also about accepting that reality doesn't always match the Ni. Prioritizing and accepting objective reality and giving up on the stubbornness of Ni.
Much easier said than done of course...
I’ve had to learn the same. Keeping my vision but letting go of whether ppl respond to it the way I think they should
INTJ here. I am currently learning this too. I want my Ni inner world to come true sooo bad, I neglect the Se real world and when the reality check hits, I get my assed kicked so hard...
A good Se that I've found is rock climbing, specifically indoor bouldering. While it's not feasible during the pandemic, I feel most INxJ's will find rock climbing fun since it's problem solving and pushing your physical body. It's funny how I see people struggle with a problem in a certain way but I intuitively find another route that many would not have seen but it "felt" right when I discovered it without really knowing how haha
Finally! Bouldering is the only sport I enjoy thoroughly. I cannot express how beneficial its practice has been so far. As an INFJ, I discovered many life-lessons through bouldering. Also increased fitness, strength, power, and friends or acquaintances.
Yoga is also great. Not only are you naturally kind of forced to really focus on your body, but that focus also means it's pretty hard to stay stuck in your head (Ni or Te mode for me). Not to mention the longer-term physical and mental health benefits.
Same here! I’m a 33 yo INTJ who picked up bouldering about 3-4 years ago and love it.
Something I also started doing a few years ago is cold showers. Every morning starts with a 3min cold shower right as I wake up. I’m sure most people have brain fog and a wandering mind when they wake up but I’m on mars (INTJ thing or just me?). A cold shower snaps me into the physical realm instantly as it prob does with everyone.
I prefer long alpine routes, or at least long multi pitch routes. But I do enjoy how climbing is like playing chess with my body.
3:45 "...gain introverted intuition perception insight from engaging with things in the outer world and if they don't allow themselves to have new extraverted sensing experiences then they won't be able to have new introverted intuition perceptions as well."
Great video. This was my favorite part.
I'm 18-year-old INTJ, I'm struggling with a lot of things which seem to be easy for the others with the same age, but your videos help me so much, so I would like to thank you for your great words! I do my best to take your advices :)
you're doing the right thing ❣️ i'm a 58 year old intj, and i struggled with this a lot 40 years ago as well. fortunately, i had a professor that was an mbti guy, and i had learned during my usaf security clearance that i'm intj, when i didn't know what that meant. this professor guided me through this journey, and i learned a lot from him. by educating yourself as you are, you'll kind of work it out in your head as i did, once i got some help.
i used to wonder if i had some kind of mental illness, but then realized that i'm just an unusual personality type, but one that has its own strengths, which i've learned to leverage. you will too! it can be challenging, cuz we're sort of odd, but once you learn to work the levers, you'll be ok. best wishes karolina!
@@skip123davis Thank you for your kind words! It really helps! :) I wish the best for you as well!
If you got it figures out by 18; more power to you. Just act like you have ADD and you’ll be fine. Impulse control and a healthy routine is what would have benefited me the most at that age. Working out helps to channel thoughts better etc.
thank youu sooo much for leaving this here, im a 17 year old infj and things just seem to be falling apart whereas for others its-
It'll get better ❤
One of the ways that helped me improving Se is focusing on resistance training 6 days a week and focusing on near perfect form on every set and rep, it really did help me alot, and it made me look better, i know this might sound shallow but its the truth, i think Se inferior types really care about how they look, and the gym will be the best solution, i even get mistyped as ESFP after my transformation from 450 pounds to 173 pounds 12% body fat, i have to mention that it suck going to the gym almost every day, and its draining like hell, but i think it's nessesry for self improvement.
Awesome input. I began to intentionally engage Se be also becoming more physically active. I do pilates which greatly focuses on form and being very aware of bodily movements.
Oh, we're all resisting training! (If you mean Resistance training, good on you 👍)
@Shimohira Reika read what i typed carefully, i said "mistyped" as an ESFP, meaning i look like an ESFP, when any type focus on thier inferior functions their hero function gets repressed for a short amount of time depending on how well you can handle the power drain being in that state, Se robs Ni and vice versa, its like a sniper holding his/her breath to increase accuracy, you hold Se to get more Ni, thats why you see most Ni hero users absent minded, and they really care about thier alone time to recharge.
This is a very inspirational post. I always tend to “lose interest” in the SE like working out every week consistently. But I do care about my image and it would help me immensely to reach my goal weight and body figure. Just have to lock in and know that it’s only for a short time everyday.
Yeah man I know what you mean. Thanks for posting!
58 year old intj checking in here. i agree with everything you said. my ways of Se'ing are: i love touring motorcycling. i've ridden bmw motorcycles most of my adult life, often with a small group of friends.
sometimes i throw some rifles in the back of the truck and go deep into a forest offroad, here in the rural pacific northwest. i love the scenery, the rivers, the huge trees, the smell of the fir trees and douglas firs, etc. i love the idea of exploring the wilderness, and it's very quiet, which i like a lot. thankfully, i have an amazing sense of direction, so that helps reduce any anxiety about that. i know i can count on myself. hiking over the rough terrain to targets, etc, is also very stimulating, and i love it. i jump the truck around a little, but not so much anymore. i did that a lot in my 30's and 40's though.
now that i'm old, i ride an ebike (so i'm sure i'll get home), and get some exercise. i have panniers and a front rack so i can carry groceries home and run errands on it, cuz i'm practical that way, lol!
interesting!
OMG! That's why I feel immense energy, motivation, happiness and creative will after I take a walk! Holy shit, that's because I engaged in Se stimuluses and it boosted my Ni insights! I need to take this walks a lot more and explore unknown territories of the entire city. I'm starting to love Se so much! 🥳🥳🥳
A true testament of how Universe balances all things...
I’m really struggling with dating due to my very low functioning extroverted sensing. Just scrolling through the dating apps and messaging people gives me so much anxiety. Going on first dates makes me a nervous wreck. I’m really trying. But it feels so unnatural and causes my body physical stress. My friends are casual and fun with dating (as it should be!) and I’m so jealous of that!!
This is one of the hardest damn things.
I'm an INFJ and I'm a dancer (breaking), I was taking part in tournaments for years but that was not for me, a lot of noise and people for too much time, now I'm just training for my self and It's much better.
Dancing is great for INxJs I think! Once we get the basics down it's very intuitive and healthy for us :)
As an INTJ, I realized I changed a lot thanks to my close friend who is ESFP. I learned many things from her since Se is her dominant function. Thanks to her, I discovered Brazilian jiujitsu. At first, I was reluctant to even try but she really believed I would love it with my way of thinking.
I ended trying and loved it instantly. I think doing jiujitsu is the best thing that ever happened to me, it's like a human game of chess and I need to use my brain constantly to be able to win. It's also the only time where I really feel in the present moment.
I always feel like an outcast with other INTJs. Most of my family are S types. I grew up playing sports and boxing from very young. Learned to play and make music in an orchestral band and marching band. Also moved a lot. My extraverted sensing was developed a lot early on.
@Chris U. Not at all. Some of siblings have lead and auxillary Se. They see the world completely different. They see things I've never even noticed.
I got you, i grew up in a neighborhood with no friends and so I played soccer alone for entire vacations, and so I very proficient and everyone praised me. But I was always frail in comparison to Se types that were into rising bikes and fighting.
I definitely can relate. I'm a girl and my sport was basketball growing up. I was pretty good actually but definitely always in my head. As an adult I work out and have recently got into boxing. Been having a hard time evading punches but hopefully it gets better with time. I also love concerts lol. Still as intj as they come though. My family is a bunch of sensors too and helping me not get too far out of touch with my physical reality is one of the pros of having them around
Yeah similar to me, parents are ESFJ/ISFJ so I did a lot of sports like basketball and soccer then did band. I dance now and some music stuff. I think I still struggle with daily habits and routines though x)
I'm 20 year old- INFJ , I like to take walks in my house if I'm in home walking after every 30-60 minutes. I think walking can be a good start for using inferior Se since walking is the simplest exercise
Hey, Asura :) INFJ here. One sensory thing ive never had an issue with is hygiene. I take shower twice a day, don't wear the same clothes every day and hate the feeling of being physically dirty. In fact i can't stand people with bad hygiene. I've always been like that. I'm very sensitive to bad smells also. I've been doing yoga every morning for probably about four years now and it has definitely improved the connection with my body. I was decently physically active until I turned 14 and had a head injury after which I got very inactive and went rapidly out of shape. Still recovering from that 17 years later...
I struggle to eat in morning. So I've invented something called 'Breakfast Desserts'. Basically cakes, mousses, flans, scones, but with some fruit, nut, or veg (like carrot cake or pecan pie or hot cross buns) so I can give it the heart health tick of approval 😁.
Add a cuppa coffee, and it gets the day started!
INFJ, 53yo (Yes, you too can reach this level of Se, with maturity and patience).
What an inspiring comment haha.
As an INTJ woman, 1 is of my bad extroverted sensing uses, whereas 2 is where its good.
1.I have such poor sleep that i have actually lost my menstral cycle. Its rlly horrible and i also had a binge eating disorder also. I also would disocoiate too.
2.But, I like going on walks alone tho. I take photos of pretty things like the fog.
I am also an INTJ who has had seroius sleep problems my whole life (47). I recently got on a low carb diet and after a few weeks I started sleeping like a rock more often than not. It may not be for everyone, but worth concidering.
This week I had a burn out of my Se because I was doing Brazlian Jiu Jitsu and weight lifting each day right after work .
Nice job on the weight loss man. It's a lot of work and I'm sure you feel better for it.
INTJ here, I always had a thing for tinkering, building, repairing, crafting things, basically anything I can make with bare hands. Woodworking and sewing are big loves, wood and fabrics and the physicality of it all really do nice things to my brain. I'm also learning guitar and love long walks. I enjoy cleaning my home too, purely for the Se rush (and the satisfaction of everything being just right in the home too, ofc). It's true that I can't take much high Se activities like noisy bars or concerts, but I think I'm in a really good place with my Se. The older I get the more I find myself doing these kinds of things if I have free time rather than picking up a book.
That video explained a lot. Now I can understand why I am the way I am and also now I know that I am normal.
I realized at some point that I would much rather engage in a sport that allows me to challenge myself (e.g. swimming, snowboarding) than team sports. About 12 years ago I decided to get into weightlifting. I went crazy learning about different routines, proper technique, eating habits, how to hit all the muscle groups evenly so I wouldn't end up looking freakishly asymmetrical, etc. Never had a lifting buddy. Just went to the gym first thing in the morning, popped in my headphones, and tried to apply everything that I had learned. One of the best habits I ever got into.
Much love and many thanks!
Other activities that you can engage in, to connect with your body-for all the reasons mentioned-are: cooking/baking, building/repairing/woodworking/metalworking/leatherrworking, sewing/knitting/crocheting/embroidering, organizing/interior designing, cycling, running.
I sometimes have to remind myself that my physical and emotional wellbeing has direct and indirect effects on my mental functions. I know this intellectually, of course, but it's another thing altogether to act on that knowledge and remember to take better care of myself. It helps that I am married now.
My wife reminds me of these things sometimes. She'll come home from her work and find that I've spent all day working on a research or editing project, or that I was so focused on answering others' questions about computers, plants, etc. that I lost track of time and forgot to eat meals. Sometimes, I even forget to get dressed if I've no reason to leave the house that day and spend the whole day in my pajamas. :) Then, she'll come home and recommend that I put on regular clothes and go out to eat with her or go shopping with her or something. We budget for eating out frequently even though we know that it isn't as economical as eating at home, but it is important for me to get out of the house and have new experiences on a regular basis. Sometimes, she'll even insist on us eating at a new restaurant just so things are different.
She also 'drags' me to events at church, with her coworkers, out in the community etc. She'll even get us tickets for comic book conventions because she knows that I'm into the stuff they have at them (and she's gradually gotten into some of it too and found that she enjoys it). She knows that the crowds will be difficult to cope with, so we don't always stay all day and we never get the full-convention passes. After the convention (or other such intense situations) she'll take us somewhere quiet and calming like a park or garden so that I can decompress and talk with her about what we experienced. I'm very fortunate to have someone understanding and caring like her in my life. Which reminds me, I need to find a way to express that to her in the near future.
You just helped me to close a gab in my understanding. I never could quite word , why I do what I do. Massive thank you. INFJ
Is really true as an INTJ to say that I feel really inspired after going out and trying new things and/or traveling.
Really helpful. Thank you 🙏🏾
Excellent analysis. I really related to reading into certain things as deeper and more complex than they actually are. I struggle with seeing things as is. I also struggle with trying new things in the real world. It’s hard for me to break routine and explore due to fear of the unknown. It’s weird because in my internal world, everything is limitless but in the external world I’m very rigid and boxed in.
that reading deeper comment impacted me, cuz i'm a tech sales guy. i actually use the captain obvious "step back, take it at face value" thing as a way of joking around at work. i can kind of tell, when we're over-analyzing something, so i'm like: "or we could just nuke it" sort of response. at some point i just slice through the gordian knot, cuz i've been there in my own head.
“Did I enjoy these routines? No, not in the slightest.” 🤣 Family and friends want you to smile through the pain of hanging out with a lot of people. Just be happy I didn’t leave yet.
I got into Boxing, BDSM, and performing publicly when it comes to music, spoken word, and public speaking.
thank you this is very helpful
Yeah martial arts is great for developing Se. After doing it for a long time it is like I have a bubble around me where I have outstanding control, but a few feet outside it still gets messy. The first times I sparred, even slowly and no real contact, I got complete information overload as Ni refused to get out of the driver`s seat - even as a very active INTJ who could mix it up with the best Se doms in other sports. Now I think of it as activating my ESFP / reverse stack but Ni is in the back seat whispering strategic insight "sweep the leg".
2:20 _"They are going to miss the face-value value of situations that they are, in while attempting to come to some conclusion about the situation that they are in."_ True that. I notice that the wisest always say the most obvious things. I oftentimes overlook the obvious feeling that it doesn't need to be stated. I'd look into why someone is fat and rather than spend my energy to get them to exercise I'd try to solve their unresolved emotions/issues whatever.
INFJ here, the military helped me with my Se, also I went sky diving recently. It was highly unpredictable. Also, I had to move from my country to America and this helped me out greatly. I generally enjoy my Se in small moderation and this is very amazing.
As an ISFP, looking back at My healthy Se times, what I can share you guys is, find friends that are "superficial" and not nerdy.
Find friends that are social, extroverted, Superficial but no stupid, superficial in a way that they aren't people whose life is staying alone too much, staying at home too much, have reading as a hobbie.
For me extroverted sensing is being mindful, that's a very soft way, without obsessing about it. Sometimes that happens...Yesterday I was rowing for the first time. I was on the go with my ESTP mom and was a little bit more brave towards new sports than normal. I really didn't like it in the moment😅, but I was proud afterwards. With my ESTP mum I had the belive that I have to learn every sensing activity as fast as she. I also recognized that I was much slower in learning new sensory activity things. That's also why I now still have the thought "I'm not good at sports" even thats not true at all. I hope I can be less and more chill with situations like missing things that are right under my nose and appearing clumsy sometimes, don't put blame or shame on me anymore😊.
Greeting from Germany😊
Thanks Chris this is great, helpful info. INFJ. I can get so lost in my thinking, and putting things together cognitively.
That was an eye opener to me, bc as an ENTP i of course have some INTJ and INFJ friends... and although i saw them struggling with something i was never able to put my finger on, on what was actually the real reason behind it.
The beginning was such a lightbulb moment for me omg; often my Se-dominant brother will show/tell me things and I don't get them because I'm looking so far past them to try and see the deeper meaning that I don't see it for what it is
Best INTJ video I watched so far, thanks for doing that.
I understand that you are a deep well of constructive information and you just want to get your point across yet you have to go through all the details to form a good explanation for everyone to comprehend, and your minds works so fast once it grasps a concept fully and you just have so many ways to explain it(INTJ STUFF) I get it!! BUTTTTT you are speaking so fast my friend, you're in your mind zone and neglecting the fact that there is an audience in front of you, that will find it unpleasant for the ear, in other words you 're repressing your SE while giving advice how on how to develop it! Take a DEEP BREATH! and Thanks a lot for the video!
My biggest Takeaway is to start out slow and grow from there. So start where I am. Thank you.
Yup. Don't force too much sensory experience on yourself. Kinda off topic but I literally get panic attacks from strong sensory overload. I certainly don't have autism and probably also not any other cognitive condition. I am very healthy. So I always wondered that I just cannot pin point what's wrong with me.
Never gonna shop at Primark at rush hour ever again...
Edit: maybe this condition that I have is called "INTJ"
You should do a video about intj shadow functions or shadow functions in general
Asura follows the four function model. 🙂
Best video on this that I've ever found
Wow. I took my first MBTI when I was 27 as part of a study as I entered a Masters program. The professor was studying if the program had any affect on our personality. He went over what it all meant in class. I got another one about 6 months after the program. The results were not much different. Sadly, I don't have that data anymore. That was 1987-88, I didn't exactly have much reference material to explain all of this. 16 years ago I ended a horrible marriage, and work started to change what I did and required me to become more extroverted. Those two things left me very stressed. I would do things I didn't understand, like constant overeating. With the help of a therapist I have made progress getting more healthy. This video explained so much. I'll probably have to review it several times. Thanks. Oh, and BTW I recently took the MBTI over. There may not have been a change before. That was 30 years ago. I'm 60 now and really could not care less what most people think of me. My scores have now changed to reflect that. The private/solitary is fire walled, and the introverted is close to maxed out. I think several of the other scores have moved significantly as well.
A few years back I started Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, the training worked wonders for my self development. I think it's well worth trying for any INTJ.
The going outside part has really helped me to have a clearer mind. great video, thanks.
5:06 "Get out of your house occasionally"...ack!
What I have learned over the years is that I can Se for a period of time. I can diet,
take Yoga and or do something physical but only for so long...about 6 weeks.
When I was little, I knew I needed to do something well so I signed up for all sorts of classes like ballet, sports et al. My mother would receive some strange bill for a class I had been
taking and I would have some explaining to do. I won't mention the trip home in my mother's car from a museum art class Downtown after I missed my bus ride home.
I took my son who is an INTP to my INTJ, with me to a Yoga studio and asked him to try it out for a little while. I may have hinted about the cute hippie chicks in tight black yoga pants...
He lasted for about 4 weeks. I tended to spend more time learning about the history of
Yoga then actually practicing my positions.
Se for me is like having to use my left hand. I can and will but its never entirely
comfortable.
Te-rrific explanations, AsuraPysch. Did you ever play an instrument?
If so, how did you decide which one?
I did! I played alto saxophone all the way through highschool, even did marching band. I enjoyed it a bit but wasnt something that stuck around after graduation.
@@AsuraPsych I played alto sax. I was determined not to play the clarinet
or the flute because that's what the other girls wanted to play.
The sax is cool ...I tended to study it more than I practiced.
@@wynstansmom829 I am the same in being able to engage in Se activities for about 6 weeks and then I just loose the habit. I've repeated that pattern many times!
@@HelenThomasCreativeHealer I wonder why its 6 weeks? lol
@@wynstansmom829 haha yeah I thought the same! I couldn't in all honesty say it's always six weeks...but I know it's between one and two months :)
Amazing video, really enjoyed it! Keep up the good work 🙏🏾
Whenever I get severely stuck in thought loops and am unable to break out of those, it does really help me to stop what I do, go to the gym and do my favorite work-out. It's a "virtual group class" of power pump. So I can choose whenever I want to do it if the space is free. It's ideal for me, because I can do it alone, there's a limited amount of exercises for each muscle group (predictable+striving for perfection with each movement), the music is fairly enjoyable and energizing, and I don't have to/can't think about other stuff for one hour, because someone is shouting instructions to me and the exercise is rather intense. Plus I find motivation in feeling strong, because it requires the use of weights, and helps me in doing other activities throughout the week without any back pains or just with more ease.
I find it easiest to just enjoy the moment for what it is if I have an extrovert to follow who is proficient in this.
I can just do what they're doing...much easier than trying to figure out how to have fun by myself :D
I do like just going for walks, hikes, etc. See the sights, smell the smells... I also like just going for a long random drive. Pick a road and head out, don't even look at a map ahead of time, just meander my way around until I find my way back again. Best when there are mountains.
Amazing Chris, I think you really hit the nail on the head here.
I loved your martial arts example for brief but intense uses of extroverted sensing; another example that worked for me is public speaking. I love the rush that comes when I come off the podium after a good speech.
Daamn this was interesting, thanks a lot! It helped me a lot to understand my relationship with drugs: It's always been clear to me that they both make me to tone down the intensity of reality, while also giving me "experiences" as I used to put it.
As a n INTJ, I usually use fashion to satisfy my Se. I love it and want to continue doing so!
thanks for the information !
this really is the missing piece in infj life
travelling to countries which are way different then your own gives great hype! - intj
I really needed to hear this🙏🏾
I must try and start implementing these sensing routines. Just getting into the shower each morning is a struggle 😣 But once I'm experiencing Se moments, like swimming or walking in the sun, I enjoy it.
Leaving the house is something I generally do only if I have too. For me, it was school all the way through a Ph.D. Then I moved to the other side of the table and taught university. Now I am retired, so I have to find reasons to go out. Generally, I do it for exercise.
Every point you made hit with me as an INFJ. I like the ocassional concert. I hate the energy of bars. Even the part about martial arts was accurate. I really enjoyed Krav Maga and short intense bursts of sense experience you describe.
I have heard a lot about my leading 2 functions but this helped me understand how Se works with Ni better than I have heard before. I can work all day and never think about lunch. But I love the ocassional indulgence. I really love and appreciate exceptional food. I do not prioritize working out on my own, but If I have a dedicated friend to go with I’ll do it.
Thank you. This was helpful!
Thank you for this video, I can especially relate to the point about routines - I do need routines for almost anything relating to the physical world - like getting up, getting ready, to make food, and especially for physical exercise because they all feel so unnatural to me and I absolutely do not enjoy doing them. Am almost religious in my routines otherwise would avoid to no end ! Even cutting a tomato is like a struggle 😂
Thank you for this! 👏🏻 It helps explain my Se experiences - the good, bad and the ugly - but also helps me to be more healthy. I just wished I knew the details of my INFJ personality years ago. Better late than never.
Great video!
What works for me to keep the Se sane is:
1) walking 🚶♀️ in the fields/forest/along river - minimum of 30-60 minutes everyday (while listening to music or podcasts or making a phone call to a friend or relative)
2) yoga
3) sketching ✍️
I totally agree with what you said - INFs generally hate to engage in the activities you mentioned. But telling someone that I will call them during my daily walk, lends some accountability and I tend to stick with the habit.
Good advice! I hope you don't mind me suggesting that having more visuals in your videos besides just you talking might help distractable types focus more (don't know if it's because your audience is largely INTJ\INFJ who don't require so much visual stimulation!).
Very good video Asura! As an INTJ my Indications for Se development are working out, walking and martial arts. Specially if you are an INTJ 5 on enneagram, because type 5 connection to 8 makes you engange in your instinctual energy, with is beneficial for not being overly on your mind everytime.
I never really get the "they do not like routine in the slightest" for the introverted intuitive types. I love creating routines (keeping up with them might be problematic at times, but having a sense of their existence is a must)
INTJ here and I actually have a list that tells me to brush my teeth, stretch, take vitamins etc. When my husband saw my list with 1. brush teeth on it he thought it was a joke and asked what that was for? I guess he still doesn't know me after 20+ years.
I really enjoyed this video. I realize hearing how to improve as a INFJ by someone who is NOT an INFJ but similar is really helpful.
Traveling really is great. I've been doing this for years on my vacations. Every year an unknown country.
This video was so helpful. Every point was an aha moment. I’d often think utilizing Se would be helpful after a day of tiring NiTe, but I was afraid I would fall into a grip so I would stimulate Se with sensory payloads that I would control in quantity or time spent and it never helped. Thank you for making this video, it helps us INTJs feel more human and I think the Se examples you gave were great practical options. Thank you again.
This is really solid and valuable illumination. If I may add some more light and helpfulness. Personal reflection on what feelings call an intj or infj to extraverted sensing. How to know when we need that new sensory experience. Which is to simply use our basic senses on something that they are not used to sensing. For me it's when I feel like their isn't enough to reflect on which make me start to rapidly increase my loss of inner peace. It is literally maddening to ignore ones repressed function.
Thank for the video as an intj I struggle mainly with my Se grip in which I lose control over myself and I indulge in some self destructive behavior as I intend to escape painful emotions or diff situations that cannot be solved through reason. I used to sing hard rock/ alternative metal music and I just have this question. I used to shake and get all stressed out on stage but after a year I enjoyed that and one thing I learnt is that with a band anyth can happen and you have to think on the spot and I developed that sense of quick thinkig under stress and going with the flow. However, I don't underdtand why intjs wont enjoy going to concert if the people they are going with or the crowd is like minded.... I find Rock and J-Rock/anime community really interesting and fun to be around and it is surprisingly filled with introverts xD
Fantastic. Thank you for the kind and helpful advice.
This is so accurate and so affective. I've done this off and on throughout my life. I can tell the difference for sure but the awareness is even better. Thanks man. Best advice I could get 🏧
Brilliant explanation and great examples. INFJ, I hate new things but love learning things so a paradox again but you have put this so clearly that I actually feel quite excited about trying. Thank you, again.
INFJ advice here - I don’t recommend kickboxing class. Imagine yelling, punching, bouncing and kicking along with loud music and a screaming instructor in a room full of bright fluorescent lights and over-pumped people. It’s the only exercise class I ever walked out on half-way through. Yoga and Pilates are waaaaaay better. And walks are nice.
I remember Nietzsche said, he walk for hours in Nature
I've taken the test two times, and I am an INTJ. Although I drain out after socialising, I love to socialize and meet new people and listen to them. I also like seeing new places cause of the same reason that I wouldn't know what to expect. But I need time to recharge after I go out for more than a few days, I cannot do it for an extended period of time.
Se- being present in the moment. I SUCK at that (INFJ). I homeschool and have been dealing with a child with ADHD, we have been taking 5 minutes of mindfulness (literally 5 minutes listening to a pretty, mellow classical song- I love Yann Tiersen’s Valse d’ Amélie) and just trying to focus on your breath for that 5 minutes.
That’s it. It actually has helped me too. Not just my kids.
Also- exercise. So my husband is a type 1 diabetic, and while I’m fairly healthy, and had been battling clinical depression, my doctor wanted me to exercise. I could not muster up the Se to do it. Starting is the worst. But my husbands glucose was regularly in the 400s so I did it for him- I felt SO MUCH BETTER MYSELF! And I mean simple- 10-15 min Tabata or HIIT workouts using a free WOD app. My brain, my mood, my ability to get things done.... wow. It was to encourage him, but I agree. It really helped me so much!
I also like camping. Because I’m allowed to practice just BEING in the moment in a calm “safe” not crowded way. I can practice trying to just make random decisions like “right now I guess I’ll go for a walk” or read, or play a game, etc. there’s nothing I HAVE to do atm. So I’m free to just exist in the now. It’s good from time to time.
Get out of my house, occasionally? How dare you, sir! *grumbles in MMORPG*
Thank you so much for this. Its really helped me.
You helped me understand how to not let my Se get out of hand, I always suppress it and so I can see why it is hard to control but I need to start validating it more. Thanks!
Thank you, very beneficial for my INFJ daughter.
This video was AWESOME! Thank You Asura!
Amazing outro music, Asura. Can you share what it is?
I did not give a lot of attention to mbti and personality types first but this makes a lot of sense.
Really appreciate your insight Ausra! I always learn something really valuable. Thank you!
As an INTJ (T) I thought that taking up martial arts or boxing would be a great idea to stimulate (SE). For a time it was...but I always lost interest or started hating the idea of meeting up and participating in highly stressful and confrontational activity.
I always loved boxing and thought of joining a gym too. I ended up with a gym membership. I lift weights it helps balance the Se
Great Video! So, so helpful! Im an INTJ musician, and I think I understand now why I sometimes feel so deeply connected to music that im listening to / playing, but also why I often dissociate and view music so abstractly in its individual components… I’m wondering if there is a way to learn how to deliberately choose between using Ni or Se (in a healthy way ofc) when engaging with the world. It’s always easy to zone out and use Ni, but Se only seems to be available when something is either really interesting or comfortable/pleasant. Could you maybe do a video on something like that?
I really enjoyed this video. Thank you.
It would be amazing if you could give advise on healthy Te for IxFPs. Great video btw as always.