Why I hate myself... on self-loathing

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  • Опубликовано: 26 авг 2024
  • Trigger warning: today's #TheAMwithAmy contains sensitive content around eating disorders and sexual assault. Thank you for holding space with me today. 🦋
    Why Love is Hard | Attachment Styles: • Why Love is Hard: Atta...
    Why I hate my body: • Why I hate my body | B...
    Feeling unloved and unworthy: • Feeling Unloved & Unwo...
    Feeling lonely: • Feeling Lonely
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Комментарии • 870

  • @amy_lee
    @amy_lee  4 года назад +677

    “In a society that profits from your self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.”
    Please follow my community SEEN & SAFE for updates on the next virtual healing circle on May 26!
    instagram.com/seenandsafe/
    🦋EXPLORE YOURSELF 🦋
    Why Love is Hard | Attachment Styles: ruclips.net/video/aJba27iNSRM/видео.html
    Why I hate my body: ruclips.net/video/Igd3vfkCjSA/видео.html
    Feeling unloved and unworthy: ruclips.net/video/rreq7dWOeiw/видео.html
    Feeling lonely: ruclips.net/video/h6-b_wtcelA/видео.html

    • @ChubiHime
      @ChubiHime 4 года назад

      gorgeous video~

    • @beckabest
      @beckabest 4 года назад +2

      Totally resonate with the generational trauma and emotional cycles you talk about. Highly recommend the book Minor Feelings by Cathy Park Hong, where she ties in this idea of self-loathing with generational Asian American experiences

    • @cawaiiana
      @cawaiiana 4 года назад +3

      Thank you so much for this video. It hits many spots of mine. We have to keep reminding ourselves it is ok not to be completely healed but never give up trying. I'm gonna give you a big hug if we ever met. Will ask for consent for sure. :D
      💗

    • @LK-fr9wv
      @LK-fr9wv 4 года назад

      thank you for your candor as always amy. every time you are vulnerable on camera, you give me and many others permission to be vulnerable too therefore creating a safe community for us to become better people. can't thank you enough 💞

    • @alicexfit242
      @alicexfit242 4 года назад

      This video holds so much truth!! Thank you for this. I’m on my own journey of self-healing. It’s difficult and a long process but I encourage everyone to do it. Love yourself ❤️

  • @asialanzi5471
    @asialanzi5471 4 года назад +2098

    this is how many people think amy NEEDS her own podcast!!
    👇🏽
    ugh I just adore her so freaking much! she literally inspires me everyday! and she helped me overcome my fear of starting my own channel! so I just wanted to u to know that ilysm aaaand we really need that podcast!

    • @JuliethGG
      @JuliethGG 4 года назад +5

      Pleaasseeee!!!!

    • @lanfriesen
      @lanfriesen 4 года назад +4

      i was just thinking that!! 💕

    • @Jamey_TJ
      @Jamey_TJ 4 года назад +3

      A thousand times YESS!!

    • @msnishaxo
      @msnishaxo 4 года назад +3

      pls do. topics like this are not talked about at all and having it unpacked is so important and helpful to people.

    • @aerialgoodnight7555
      @aerialgoodnight7555 4 года назад +4

      YES! Please create a podcast, Amy!!!

  • @A.l.e.x.e.a
    @A.l.e.x.e.a 4 года назад +674

    I'm Greek and my boyfriend is Korean and it always gets so twisted when we talk about our beauty standards bc I was raised like you with the constant pressure to fix my "big" Greek nose and so was he for his "flat" Korean nose and it's so ironic bc we both look at each other like "man, you're so lucky you have that nose." So clearly both noses are good noses lol

    • @i_know_who_you_are
      @i_know_who_you_are 4 года назад +46

      in a way that is Iconic honestly lol

    • @ceph538
      @ceph538 4 года назад +14

      That’s adorable! 😊

    • @ciaronsmith4995
      @ciaronsmith4995 4 года назад +1

      Greek food is just a copy of Turkish food.....

    • @A.l.e.x.e.a
      @A.l.e.x.e.a 4 года назад +88

      @@ciaronsmith4995 thank you for your contribution to this discussion

    • @amandac8836
      @amandac8836 4 года назад +16

      @@A.l.e.x.e.a I cracked up hahaha (your response to the Turkish thing not your original comment because that was cute haha)

  • @aquao5372
    @aquao5372 4 года назад +392

    It’s so crazy, how we all grow up feeling confident and loving ourselves, then people come in and tell us the way we are is wrong repeatedly, then all the “insecurities” come about.

    • @monseramirez1974
      @monseramirez1974 4 года назад +36

      Exactly, I still remember that entering middle school I was fine with myself. Then I got bullied on my looks and that totally messed me up.

    • @itsarali
      @itsarali 3 года назад +2

      @lea hall omg then I feel guilty because I had a good family life and other people are like, “why are you sad? You had a good home so everything should be fine!” Sometimes I wish people would all become people pleasers like me and just shut their mouths.

  • @alinamercado8003
    @alinamercado8003 4 года назад +609

    I cannot even put in to words how much this has touched me.

  • @solveiglunde925
    @solveiglunde925 4 года назад +491

    My psychologist once asked me “if you looked exactly the way you wanted, do you think you would have loved yourself?” And I said no. No I would’ve not loved myself. I know I wouldn’t have loved myself because the hatred I have towards myself comes from within. It does not matter how I look; I will still hate myself. And it’s just so incredibly sad and disappointing that I spend so much time hating myself, but I just can’t seem to learn how to truly love myself. How to love every single thing about me. I’ve hated myself for as long as I can remember. How does one recover from that? How does one let go of these feelings? I have never met anyone who hates themselves more than I do. I feel alone. I feel trapped and I feel like I can’t breathe. I can’t live my life the way I want to, because I am so insecure and I have no confidence whatsoever. My head is just constantly filled with negative, pessimistic and damaging thoughts. I am beating myself up for every little pathetic thing. I am anxious 24/7, and sometimes I’m feeling so down I would rather die than live in this body. I just want to be able to love myself. I’m really sorry for the long comment with too much information, but I really felt like letting it all out hahah. Thank you for making videos like this and talk about these topics! You’re amazing, and an inspiration. ❤️

    • @Alyah_jolene
      @Alyah_jolene 4 года назад +34

      For me to love my self is to accept myself. Accepting ones self does not mean not doing anything to change but it means to go more with the flow and not be so harsh on yourself. I don’t know your situation so I’m not trying to tell you what to do but I’m just sharing my views “. I started loving myself when I stopped trying to be something I wasn’t and started listening to my body’s wishes. If I don’t feel like doing something i look at why I don’t feel like it. Is it because I am lazy? Do it anyway! 🥰 if I’m tired and need a break take a break! For me that’s self love

    • @Alyah_jolene
      @Alyah_jolene 4 года назад +17

      I feel that when you stop putting pressure on yourself to love yourself it will come with time ❤️ if this message does not resonate with you than please ignore ~

    • @solveiglunde925
      @solveiglunde925 4 года назад +13

      alyah Thank you so much for taking your time to reply to my comment and give me advice. I really appreciate it, and it means a lot to me ❤️ I’m trying my best to accept myself and I’m also learning how to listen to what my body and mind truly wants and needs. I really like what you said about not putting pressure loving myself, because it will come with time, I think that’s a really great advice and I will take that with me! This comment did resonate with me, so thank you again for commenting! I will remember this comment whenever I’m feeling down ❤️ I hope you have a good life filled with happiness, love and joy! I’m so happy to hear that you are finally able to love yourself! You deserve that. 🥰 and I hope that one day I will be able to say that I love myself as well. 🤗

    • @hannap8052
      @hannap8052 4 года назад +15

      I totally relate, most of the time I don't even see myself as human, it's so easy for me to feel compassion and love towards someone else but I just can't do it for myself, there's something inherently bad within me that I can't get over

    • @elisedelaserre9453
      @elisedelaserre9453 4 года назад +4

      H. P. Same 😔

  • @AnaS-of8ri
    @AnaS-of8ri 4 года назад +203

    A legend once said "Amy goes to therapy for all of us" and this video hits that vibe

  • @TheDanielleDenise
    @TheDanielleDenise 4 года назад +283

    There is so much from childhood we have to go back and relearn, reteach, and basically reparent ourselves so that we can be the person we desire to be

  • @NaeK188
    @NaeK188 4 года назад +39

    My self loathing shows in how I isolate myself: believing that I'm doing a service to the world for keeping to myself and not 'tainting' anyone with my presence. This is the biggest thing I have to work on right now. Thanks for talking about this 💜

  • @asialanzi5471
    @asialanzi5471 4 года назад +486

    I wish more people wouldn’t be scared to talk about these topics as they are just such a huge part of our everyday life! it was really refreshing to hear that everyone has their struggles! your videos always make me feel better and they hold a special place in my heart! I’ve told u this before, but I just felt the urge to tell you again that you actually made me overcome my fear of starting my own youtube channel! so I just wanted to thank you so much for being such an inspiration

  • @lindseyrem
    @lindseyrem 4 года назад +129

    you are such a blessing on this platform!!! making me tear up over here

  • @tifferzzz12
    @tifferzzz12 4 года назад +67

    The internalized homophobia comment hit deep. I just came out of the closet at 23 and it’s been so hard even now to let myself just be happy without hating how I am and letting myself love who I want to love. I cut out almost all my family for the ideas that they taught me. It’s taken so long to rid myself of how brainwashed I was.

  • @katiekiyokogammon
    @katiekiyokogammon 4 года назад +116

    As someone who has PTSD from sexual assault, thank you for putting the trigger warning at the beginning of the video and not just a few seconds before you speak on it. I find when people only put the tw a few seconds before they talk about it, I can't exit away fast enough, so I really appreciate you putting it right at the beginning. I won't be watching this video, but I'll be back for your next one :)

    • @farahjoy603
      @farahjoy603 4 года назад +5

      I just wanted to say that you're so strong , and I love you 💚💚
      Take care of yourself 💞💞

    • @kaielyse9313
      @kaielyse9313 3 года назад +2

      Yea I never understood why people put the warning 3 seconds before they talk about it. God forbid you are a few feet away from the phone, and have to lunge to stop the video

  • @alejandragomez1462
    @alejandragomez1462 4 года назад +29

    I saw this man on TikTok talking about family trauma and he said, “it ran in my family, until it ran into me”.
    That rlly helped me , and I sincerely hope it can help someone else as well.
    Stay safe everyone 🌈

  • @chrisellemanabat
    @chrisellemanabat 4 года назад +42

    Cried all day today because I felt so defeated with self-loathing, so thank you for sharing this because I don’t feel so alone today. Grateful to the universe for always bringing your content when I need it most.

  • @unicornpoopT
    @unicornpoopT 4 года назад +42

    the things you‘re parents told you, really broke me heart😭 you are soo pretty wtf

  • @helenb3404
    @helenb3404 4 года назад +75

    the fixation of our physical appearance and beauty as a result of our self loathing resonated with me so much. there was a period in my life where i was so confident in the way i looked and i thought that would fix everything and get rid of the incompetency and hatred i felt towards myself. despite this, i still felt this emptiness and pain inside of me and it finally hit me that having beauty wouldn’t fix any of the emotional and mental problems inside of me and that was such a rough revelation

  • @asialanzi5471
    @asialanzi5471 4 года назад +63

    i can't imagine what you must've gone through in your life. parents telling you you're ugly and "need" to get surgery is about the worst thing a parent could ever say to you! i feel so sorry for you

  • @l4rissabraga
    @l4rissabraga 4 года назад +56

    I was so shocked when you said your parents would offer you plastic surgery. I'm sorry :( you're so brave for not giving in for those things.
    You're gorgeous and very inspiring. Thank you for sharing this with us!

  • @missDadadada
    @missDadadada 4 года назад +106

    I would never have thought you had those struggles with your monolids. It blows my mind how differently people see and feel about their bodys. Your eyes are beautiful to me. I can relate to your message. It is deep. Thank you so much for sharing it🥰

  • @0hhky
    @0hhky 4 года назад +113

    literally 5 mins in your words are sticking to me - I am not the person that will constantly verbally express my self loathing or want to entertain someone else's but I think there are depths to it inside of me that I have on the surface worked on. this is truly based on all things that produce cringey and shameful moments.

  • @lightblulbb
    @lightblulbb 4 года назад +61

    Personally on my journey, the difficult part of it was how to begin. Not because there wasnt any awareness but I severely lacked the language to express myself at all. Coming from a POC background where emotion are stifled and gaslighted,its not taught at all. Even now i still struggle to translate my feelings or thoughts. Thank you for sharing your story! It helps some of us who still lack the language to formulate our experiences.

    • @thealysia
      @thealysia 4 года назад +2

      same its hard for me to talk about some things

    • @idklol513
      @idklol513 3 года назад

      Can you give some tips how you overcame it, I think that I have the same problem

  • @sandiswawiti9920
    @sandiswawiti9920 4 года назад +98

    I like how you always tackle the untouched topics honey.
    Lots of love from South Africa

  • @DiegoLucass
    @DiegoLucass 4 года назад +61

    I'm crying at the club 🥺
    thank you for affirming me & for all the work you do for all of us!
    eres una persona superpoderisima, que abarca mucho espacio 💜
    so so deserving of all the beautiful fruits these realms have to offer.

    • @amy_lee
      @amy_lee  4 года назад +8

      Diego Lucas 🥺♥️😭

  • @asialanzi5471
    @asialanzi5471 4 года назад +43

    Amy could literally talk about anything and I‘d drop whatever I’m doing and be here within seconds

  • @gindokki
    @gindokki 4 года назад +79

    The self-hating has been overwhelming for me recently, and I honestly had no idea how to deal with the flood of emotions. Thank you for this absolutely wonderful video, I'm gonna do my best to unpack the craziness and try to heal. It's been a struggle for so long and I know it won't go away any time soon, but - baby steps right? It's a crazy journey, but to everyone here and Amy, I believe in us!! 💕

  • @i_am_b1anca_207
    @i_am_b1anca_207 4 года назад +114

    The mono lid mentality is kind of how black dark skinned people feel about their skin I suppose. (I’m African) Which is interesting because you look at them and think wow he/she is stunning. I thought you were so pretty from the beginning of my following you. So it’s interesting to hear you struggled with this. I do know some Asian beauty standards are all about the double lid. There’s even tape to achieve that 😅

    • @jooreuable
      @jooreuable 3 года назад +2

      The thing is though, even western ideal of beauty idolizes big doelike, sultry eyes. It really is a huge struggle with the hooded monolids... :'(

  • @CoralSMoon
    @CoralSMoon 4 года назад +29

    I'm First Nations and me and my family definitely carry a lot of trauma. It's very comforting to hear everything that you talked about and makes me feel like I'm able to break that negative thought cycle that my family has put themselves through. I also try to keep aware of all the problems and struggles that indigenous people go through because it's very mind-blowing how much of my people went and are going through...(sorry for the rant😣)

  • @maddywadsworth4312
    @maddywadsworth4312 4 года назад +22

    Hearing your story about the Xanga your “friend” made really got me emotional. In middle school a group of boys made a fake MySpace about their friend and they had set it up and made it say things about him loving me. They had done this as a way to embarrass him but they used me as like they ultimate embarrassment. Probably because I was kind of a punk kid and they were quite the opposite. I remember the boy being extremely embarrassed and upset about it-which made it so much worse to me at the time. Cyber bullying can be really scarring.

  • @leanneowen3134
    @leanneowen3134 4 года назад +45

    It's been a long journey with self loathing. Eating disorders, self harm, all the things. Started going to therapy in February and I feel I'm starting to make progress! You're such an inspiration

  • @SamElle
    @SamElle 4 года назад +41

    Ahhh you’re an older sister for me! Whenever you do a sit down it really helps! I’ve hated myself for YEARS and I mean YEARS. I’ve only recently started my self love journey and even though it’s hard because for years I’ve had a different mindset, I know in the long run it will be better for me mentally.

    • @Phoebehunniexox
      @Phoebehunniexox 4 года назад +1

      I'm going through something similar right now, I wish you so much joy, luck and love for your self-love journey!!! You're unconditionally whole, worthy and loved, never forget that x

    • @SamElle
      @SamElle 4 года назад

      @@Phoebehunniexox You too!!!

  • @AsiaAmerié
    @AsiaAmerié 4 года назад +20

    This is the first time I’ve actually watched a whole video without skipping ,, thank you for this 💕🧘🏾‍♀️✨

  • @anitapoulposse4403
    @anitapoulposse4403 4 года назад +19

    If you're reading through the comments : sometime we can feel so alone with our pain so remember that whatever you're going through there is always someone on earth that is thinking about you and feeling compassionnate
    I feel so glad that such kind people still exist. Amy your comunity feels so safe. Thank you for creating this space

  • @laurenquirky
    @laurenquirky 4 года назад +21

    Amy, you are literally one of my favorite influencers and youtubers EVER. You make such beautiful and meaningful content that I feel truly heals not only me but everyone that watches your videos. I’m not Korean American but I feel represented by you. I can only imagine what other Korean or Asian American women feel when they watch your videos. I NEED you to know that the space you take up on online platforms and on this earth is so valuable and a blessing to everyone you impact and interact with. Wow this is long and mushy but I love your vibe and channel more than you know ❤️

  • @jasmineh0930
    @jasmineh0930 4 года назад +8

    damn. thanks Amy. I've been sinking in a sorry puddle of self-loathing as my quarantine session with my family has progressed. It's so hard not to be resentful about things that happened ten years ago, five years ago, or two weeks ago. This has helped.

  • @emmaziolkowski7326
    @emmaziolkowski7326 4 года назад +35

    Amy, I wish I could explain the feeling that this video allowed me to explore. Thank you for your authenticity. Thank you for showing up for yourself. Thank you for your beautiful, raw, ugly, traumatic, resilient truth. It is a blessing to have come across your channel. You are genuinely my favourite. & although I love all of the AM's with Amy, something about this one struck a chord so much deeper and has been my favourite thus far. Thank you for that. I am always sending you my love. You recently responded to one of my comments on my instagram and then proceeded to like a few of my pictures, I just wanted to say that it meant so much to me. It made me feel seen. and it made me feel safe. and I think it is just so beautiful that you have created a community for just that. You are awe inspiring and I am so excited to watch this journey for you unfold.

  • @natt3212
    @natt3212 4 года назад +4

    Thank you so much, Amy. I really needed this talk. Personally, I've always loathed my intellect because I was always ignored when I accomplished something, and as a result, I felt like I wasn't worthy of being seen and heard. I thought I wasn't worthy of being liked by boys or deserving of birthday present from friends or being complimented for my achievements, and my defence mechanism was always to say "Nah this person looks better. This person is much smarter than me. I'm dumb." And this self-deprecation is how I expressed my self-loathing. I'm trying not to do as much anymore and talking to my friend, opening up my insecurities to my friend, has helped me realize how toxic it is and how I need to change.

  • @svenskaela1234561
    @svenskaela1234561 3 года назад +3

    I have not realized how much I hate myself until I discovered a pattern of behaviour. Im turning 23 in a week and I have been depressed because I have never dated anyone I never kissed anyone and I never had sex before. I would go on these dates and nothing would come out of them because I would go out with men that clearly only want my body luckily I had enough self respect to say no. But it was a endless cycle download tinder because you just want to feel wanted talk to someone think you can at least become friends block them because they turn out to only want sex delete tinder and then do it all over again. It really made me think about how I treated relationships with others in a destructive and toxic way. Where we both would use each other for different things they for sex and me for emotional support even if fake.
    I decided this year 2021 to tackle the issue and find the core to my self hatred and fix it. I'm moving to a different country soon and I want to be able to be happier then where I am now so this is the perfect time to do some self searching and improvement.

  • @chi_ani
    @chi_ani 4 года назад +1

    Your youtube channel has always been a safe space for me, Amy. Your videos helps me a lot in dealing with life! Growing up, my cousins and schoolmates bullied me because of my facial features and i still carry that bags. It really feels uncomfortable whenever someone compliments me it sounds pretentious to me. Its confusing at times because i feel confident but when i step out of the house, my confidence drains out. Being in a relationship irks me to the point of when i was about to have one, i self sabotage and avoid the person instead. But today, i think im being comfortable in my own skin and channeling the person i wanna be. Its still a progress tho but im getting there

  • @candye0
    @candye0 4 года назад +7

    Exactly the video I needed. Self loathing is one of the major reasons why I can't do progress on my depression

  • @huyentang8925
    @huyentang8925 3 года назад +1

    This is making me so emotional.... I've always hated my eyes, my face shape, my body, my voice, my skin color, hair, everything. My mom would tell me "Oh, you're looking heavy and chubby." "Oh, your hair looks ugly like this" "Try something different with your makeup because you look old and mean. No one will like you". People would call me "chinky", "okay looking for an Asian girl", and made fun of me for my clothes because we were poor. This video hit me so so hard. Thank you, Amy.

  • @fallenreflection307
    @fallenreflection307 4 года назад +12

    wise beyond your age. bless you for giving light to a topic that is not often discussed, and discussing it in such an intricate way.

  • @kemberlyj1080
    @kemberlyj1080 4 года назад +8

    It’s so refreshing to see this kind of content. It is so inspiring and genuine. Thank you for being so open.

  • @leahsfieldnotes
    @leahsfieldnotes 4 года назад +24

    Wow I didn’t know I needed this til watching it through :O thank you Amy, you’re so so beautiful and intelligent!!

  • @Alisha.10
    @Alisha.10 3 года назад +1

    A lot of my insecurities came from bullying. It’s so sad that I let it affect me still. I even wanted to get surgery to lower my hairline. When I was younger, I wish I knew hurt people hurt people and every mean thing that was told to me was a lie. I’m literally binge watching so many of these videos to change my warped mentality. I feel like the more I hear and watch stuff like this, the more I’ll adopt a positive and healthy mindset

  • @heathersaxton8118
    @heathersaxton8118 4 года назад +1

    This person is so great I can’t even comprehend

  • @tldead7270
    @tldead7270 4 года назад +5

    Self loading and getting used to get disappointed everytime is something hurts me the most and meanwhile i unconsciously chosed to push it to the back of my mind.
    This made me wanna really get going for a solution.
    Feel like a different life quality is waiting for me... 💖

  • @samsomera
    @samsomera 4 года назад +6

    I love how your video have no heavy cuts. Your thoughts are put together well. ❤

  • @melaniemak6325
    @melaniemak6325 4 года назад +9

    amy deserves so much love and happiness 🥺✨ I’ve just recently started to become more aware of my personal self-loathing and this video couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. you can honestly see how genuine and heartfelt this video was and it’s so rare to see and hear about such an unspoken yet universal experience. thank you for your powerful and loving words Amy!! please keep posting similar videos! 💘

  • @earthslayers
    @earthslayers 4 года назад +3

    You have no idea how hard I’ve been struggling with this lately, and weekly therapy hasn’t been able to help at all. Thank you so much for this Amy

  • @UnkNwN334
    @UnkNwN334 4 года назад +5

    Just wanted to say this; you convey these topics and experiences very intelligently and in a clear way that makes sense instead of sounding ‘woo-woo’ or abstract. You are brave to speak so candidly about your self loathing and negative thoughts about yourself instead of just humble bragging or bypassing which tends to happen a lot with many influencers. Also, I think you are very beautiful! All the attributes you were made to dislike about yourself are things I find make you look unique and interesting. I also like the slender and long shape of your face. You’re doing such a great service to young people all over the planet with your healing message, just wanted to throw that out there and spread some love💚

  • @ktkim17
    @ktkim17 4 года назад +4

    I've always been a silent follower but I'm so shook... watching your video literally made me aware of a deeply rooted trauma that I didn't even recognize as a source of trauma back then and until now. I just became critically aware of something really important and now I feel like so much more makes sense about me.

  • @anitapoulposse4403
    @anitapoulposse4403 4 года назад +5

    i love how you said that it's a lot of heavy work and that you highlight the fact that you're "working" for the past 3/4 years because when we try to forgive ourself and accept our wounds and heal them . IT TAKES SO MUCH PATIENCE AND STRENGH sorry for the cap but I find myself forgeting easily. I am currently studying far from my homecity where i had such a good psychologist there where i did a lot of "progress" and understanding. She couldn't keep contact with me abroad and I tried to meet other specialist but I find myself so tired and exausted to start a new "bound" . To talk about all my trauma all over again and explain what's going on I just can't do it. so I tried my best to pursue my healing by myself and your videos keep me on the track. SO Thank you for putting a lot of words to my thoughts and emotions

  • @0guerrier0
    @0guerrier0 4 года назад +8

    When you got emotional, I got emotional. And I was emotional for the rest of the video. This means so much to me. It means so much as a sexual assault survivor to hear someone I admire and who has a public presence to say what you said. I am not ok and it's OK. Love you xx

  • @itzjuslola
    @itzjuslola 4 года назад +29

    Amy I just wanna say you inspire and help me so much as a person. Ever since I found your channel my mental health has gotten a little better, and you are always there to help me feel better and cope better! Please keep doing what you do, much love! 💕

  • @kiratk6321
    @kiratk6321 4 года назад +16

    Love hearing you talk about things like this Amy, it really feels like we live such similar lives. Thank you for sharing so much and for being so open. You're doing important work and I really look up to you!

  • @asialanzi5471
    @asialanzi5471 4 года назад +339

    wasn’t even this early to my own birth lol

  • @Luvandrockettes
    @Luvandrockettes 4 года назад +10

    you're such a positive light in the darkness on social media, i freaking love you Amy, i came here after your ig stories ❤️❤️❤️

  • @msnishaxo
    @msnishaxo 4 года назад +5

    this is the most impactful video ever. i needed to hear this. i feel like not enough people talk about topics like this and it's literally, life-changing to hear and just feel like you are less alone. thank you for videos like this

  • @EmoNightDragon
    @EmoNightDragon 4 года назад +12

    I don't agree with everything but it is very interesting to hear someone talk about this in depth

  • @yowzayammm
    @yowzayammm 4 года назад +1

    rewatching this 2+ months after its posted bc we all need reminders. Sending love to everyone who's seeking love and validation from themselves

  • @blx6578
    @blx6578 4 года назад

    This really resonates with me. I am so, so hard on myself. I will look in the mirror constantly and think I look ugly and feel disgusted with myself. I think being this way has really made me be more kind to others and lift others up so they don’t feel how I feel. I am still a happy person but I do recognize my insecurities and I realize I need to be kinder to myself. It takes a lot of mindfulness. Thanks for this video. Very vulnerable which is rare and I appreciate that in other people!! 🖤
    Also I think you are SO beautiful inside and out. Your skin is incredible. I always am surprised how beautiful people are so hard on themselves.

  • @kristindi0r
    @kristindi0r 4 года назад +1

    thank you so much for your vulnerability, amy. we really don't deserve it! please take care of yourself during these times.

  • @ReeseRegan
    @ReeseRegan 4 года назад +15

    this video is so incredible and put all of my thoughts into words for others to understand... thank you ♡

  • @franziska8042
    @franziska8042 4 года назад +5

    Wow! I really normally never comment on videos but this one was such an eye opener for me. I could relate so much, cried almost through the entire thing and I feel weirdly relieved and understood now. Thank you so much for posting this Amy!

  • @justrenee2640
    @justrenee2640 4 года назад +1

    Girl I love monolids so much! They remind me of flower petals... it’s so interesting how varied life is

  • @rebeccahartl5851
    @rebeccahartl5851 4 года назад +1

    This is literally the best video I’ve seen in a long time. So grateful that you share what most of the people are afraid of. Helps so much to know there are other people feeling the same way. Thank you so much!

  • @ctrlaltdelicious6072
    @ctrlaltdelicious6072 4 года назад +7

    I’m a norwegian and full on look like one. When I‘m asked about the most beautiful women I know (based on looks), I answer Amy Lee and Claire Marshall.

  • @bernadettet.7400
    @bernadettet.7400 4 года назад +32

    Please start a podcast ❤️

  • @cestmoiiix
    @cestmoiiix 4 года назад +1

    One of the most beautiful talks i ever listened to! Thanks so much for being so open! I hope you will learn to love yourself from an eternal source. I personally think you are absolutely stunning, smart and full of empathy 🧡

  • @olayemifadahunsi9269
    @olayemifadahunsi9269 4 года назад +5

    I needed this in my life! Thank you Amy for being vulnerable and sharing your experiences. 💕

  • @madelynn-delarosa
    @madelynn-delarosa 4 года назад +19

    Loved this, Amy! Thank you for sharing with us 💗

  • @icedhojicha
    @icedhojicha 3 года назад

    YESS IM SO PROUD OF YOU AMY FOR BEING MORE COMFTORABLE!!! thank you for being so vulnerable in sharing with us, i think this was very eye opening for myself in my own self-hatred. thank you

  • @coralfoliage8
    @coralfoliage8 4 года назад

    all of ur AMwithAmy videos are my absolute favorite. u are one of the most beautiful people I’ve come across on this platform, I swear girl if I EVER run into u irl I’m taking u out to eat!! thank u for being so open and sharing what’s inside of ur head and heart with us. in these past couple of months I’ve been doing deep unpacking with the guidance of a life coach.. I am so incredibly grateful for people like u and my life coach alike who hold this space and draw light on how our shortcomings are not a result of what we created for ourselves but in fact a result of our conditioning, our childhood, and the environment we grew up in. please continue to be ur shining self, always. thanks Amy 💛 the fact that ur an Asian American like myself just inspires me all the more.

  • @Sagensoul
    @Sagensoul 4 года назад +5

    I had to pause the video and reflect multiple times throughout this video. Thank you so much🙏🏾

  • @sadsolarbeam
    @sadsolarbeam 3 года назад +1

    i cant even explain how much i needed to hear this 🥺

  • @2djamm
    @2djamm 3 года назад +1

    More often than not, we tend to project onto your pets and this usually goes beyond our conscious awareness. This was a great video Amy, I feel like I got to know you more :)

  • @vanjagray191
    @vanjagray191 4 года назад +2

    The part where you talk about being bullied by your female friends really reminded me of myself. Back in school I had a best friend an she would always praise other friends looks but at the same time pulling me and herself down like "so and so is so much prettier than us" and I don't think she meant it to be mean towards me I think she was just insecure herself but by using us my mind still attached to the things she said about us.

  • @amyrl8181
    @amyrl8181 4 года назад

    I wasn't ready for how many great points were made in this video. after seeing it on my recommended page a few times I clicked on it. currently going through a breakup and spiritual journey, you made so many connections and filled in blanks that were driving me crazy. thank you for putting all this into words

  • @gabbypogantsch4093
    @gabbypogantsch4093 4 года назад +1

    this is all so true and it's really weird when i think back to the moments where i struggled with an eating disorder, had issues with feeling depressed, been scarred by a silly comment that somebody made that keeps showing up in your life, etc. i kind of feel like i'm on the outside looking in until i start to feel the emotion actually happening inside of me. i get so annoyed when self-loathing emotions get randomly brought up but like you talk about, its hard to get through and dig deep but the only way to help yourself is to actually try to let yourself feel those emotions & go from there. another great video, thank you so much for sharing your stories amy, xo

  • @susannahneedham6458
    @susannahneedham6458 4 года назад +1

    Amy you posted this on my 23rd birthday yesterday, when I was (and still am) experiencing soooo much self-loathing and trying to work through it with my therapist. We are in it together, thank you for sharing.

  • @alerie1997
    @alerie1997 4 года назад +6

    Amy, sending my tight hugss!!!! Just want to let you know that you’re such a wonderful and beautiful person. I really love listening to you, i feel like you’re a big sister that really connects well with us in this community 🤍

  • @felixG83
    @felixG83 2 года назад

    40 year old cis white male here and I'm glad I found this video. Your message is beautiful and so different from the dozens of other RUclips coaches. It helped me at a really bad time. Thank you for your honesty and bravery. Thank you for uploading this.

  • @amowry2900
    @amowry2900 4 года назад

    I'm so happy I found your videos. So therapeutic to listen to you speak on these things and you seriously feel like a best friend I've never had

  • @mary4governor
    @mary4governor 4 года назад

    I have always wondered if other people felt this way about themselves and were self aware enough to recognize it. Thank you for normalizing self loathing. I am a functional amazing human being who harbors such a deep self hatred which I am slowly working through. You are a divine spark of light in the Universe, thank you! You are amazing!!!

  • @cashai2822
    @cashai2822 4 года назад +1

    Thank You Amy. I needed this. I sat through tears. Took notes. . I just feel so connected. Wow. I don’t have the words to describe it. Just sending you gratitude and healing myself in our honour. 💖💖

  • @minhlytries
    @minhlytries 4 года назад

    I love how you said - ,,You are not your trauma. You are responsible for your healing.". Earlier on I was guilty of blaming my parents for how I am, without realising that I am the one who is responsible.
    For anyone watching this, just know that you are powerful enough to own your emotions. It's okay to feel hurt, just remember you don't have to stay that way. Don't limit yourself from living this life as best as you possibly can by bathing yourself in negative emotions. YOU DESERVE BETTER. YOU DESERVE TO HAVE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE. YOU ARE WORTH IT. ❤

  • @blakefrancesca5212
    @blakefrancesca5212 4 года назад +1

    thank you so much for this honesty you saved me. this season of my life has been so hard and i’ve been struggling with hating myself so much and just feeling so lost thank you for your light

  • @Sahhrahhh
    @Sahhrahhh 4 года назад +1

    wow. just wow. i am actually in tears. I identify with this video so much. for years and years I hated myself for my dark skin tone, my intellect and my looks. I still struggle with it daily, but it's a lot better now than it was in primary school and high school. thank you for making this really important video. i really felt connected to this and less alone.

  • @briannarose2207
    @briannarose2207 4 года назад +1

    this morning I was curled up in a ball crying and self loathing feeling so so lonely wondering why I feel this way and beating myself up, I honesty sat there and asked god or source which I never even do for something, to speak to me in some way to tell me it is going to be okay, because at this point I felt like I am just going to be sad and lonely and ugly forever. but wow, thus was the first suggestion to pop up and im so glad and thankful. Amy, truly from the bottom of my heart thank you. you have no idea how many people you are helping just by speaking your truth which takes so much strength. im sending you all the blessings, you deserve them all. I appreciate your courage to be authentic in this time, its truly rebellious and I commend you for that and for being a gift from the universe the give me and my inner child a hug this morning when I truly felt like giving up. I hope one day, when I have healed myself and allowed myself to be my truest and authentic self i can help people just like you and I hope one day I can give you a hug in person and thank you personally. a true earth angel. thank you queen. and look at the time as I post this 2:22 wow hahaha

  • @candacealexac9432
    @candacealexac9432 4 года назад

    amy you are such a healer , as soon as you said it’s not the feature that’s what you have an issue with it’s what someone told you or society and immediately I remember the way I felt when and was told moment and place about my “insecurity” that forever carries with me

  • @TheKaitlyn1218
    @TheKaitlyn1218 4 года назад

    so many mind blowingly, amazing quotes in this video, but the one that struck me the most is when you said “it’s the glasses i’m wearing” and damn i just. like, glasses for me have become a symbol of my life bc it’s ironic that those glasses are meant to correct a vision that may not be flawed in the first place.

  • @kathleenm6715
    @kathleenm6715 3 года назад

    This video resurfaces a lot of negative emotions I’ve kept inside. I never realized those small things can be considered trauma. I remember growing up as kid with my sister constantly calling me names like loner, weird and ew whenever she would come up to me in school. Realizing it now it really took a hard hit on me because for the majority of my school life i never really had friends. And i think its just took even more of a hit when i would be called ugly and the fat one and the stupid one in my family.

  • @vena3628
    @vena3628 4 года назад

    the way i find your videos is always on the right timing. thank you so much. you don't know how much you've helped to become the voice of reason in my head and i love you for that.

  • @FleurDeCersier
    @FleurDeCersier 4 года назад

    I've struggled with self-loathing in the past. It's worst when I'm depressed. It's actually scary how I despise every fiber of my being when I'm depressed. My face, my body, my character. I hated everything about myself.
    When I was really depressed I wad convinced that being thinner would make me happy even though that it is bullshit.
    I'm in a better place now but I still struggle with self-loathing, just not to the degree I used to.
    Thank you for this video.
    Sending virtual hugs!

  • @cloudedsmile
    @cloudedsmile 4 года назад

    As an Asian girl I totally felt you on the monolids thing but I never once thought your eyes were ugly!!! They make your smiles look so genuine and it’s sad to think that so many people made you feel shitty about them. I feel like I found your videos at a time in my life where I’ve been self reflecting a lot and I just wanna say thanks for your vulnerability and honesty. You are a beautiful human being. ❤️

  • @yogawithjas
    @yogawithjas 4 года назад

    Thank you. THANK YOU so much for sharing this! Ive been havignga bount of self-loathing/ confidence lowness. I really hadn't even been aware of it until a friend sent me the most lovely message about my worth. I suddenly was like HIT by this wave of realisation that I didnt agree with her words and that at one point in the past, I would have! So it triggered me good and proper, but it was so necessary because it brought my awareness to the fact that my mind and self talk hasn't been the most conducive to self-love recently, or even self acceptance. The way you talk about self hate in this vid is so so so helpful, thank you for sharing your exprerience and giving PERMISSION for us to hold space for ourselves. Love you girl, keep on it

  • @danielaluna5892
    @danielaluna5892 4 года назад

    What she said about plastic surgery is sooo true!! I grew up being told I had an ugly nose and that I needed a nose job since a young age. Of course as I grew up I started to notice my “ugly” nose and I started to hate it too and truly wanted a nose job. Right after I got my nose job I had a really hard time loving myself bc the surgery didn’t fix me hating how I looked. It wasn’t until I realized that my nose insecurity was implemented upon me for years and how much I hated my self when I saw pictures of my self WASNT bc of my nose, but bc of the way I was taught to look at myself. THANK YOU AMY FOR BEING SO AMAZING

  • @Evelyn-rs1wq
    @Evelyn-rs1wq 4 года назад

    It is actually so weird to think about that the two things you beat yourself up about the most are the two things i admire about you the most, almost brought me to tears when i thought about that. 🥺❤️

  • @LuxeMindsetVibes
    @LuxeMindsetVibes 4 года назад

    I don't know how I got here, but I'm grateful. This is the most authentic RUclips channel I've seen. ❤