When you said freezing I could relate. I’m 3 months in. Started in February 2024. It’s now May. Doing the bare minimum. Heavy, small,isolate, overwhelmed, overstimulated all present. No thoughts of death or suicidal ideation. I moved into a retirement home at 56, due to physical disabilities and mental illness. Here just over a year, and now think it may have been a bad idea, although I moved from a very unsafe area to a very safe area. I feel like I’m tired of fighting my own autoimmune system which is attacking me and tired of fighting depression. Lost my dad in August of 2023. In September had a bad fall and ended up in a coma for 2 weeks. I was in a trauma center from 9-29 to 10-23. I don’t know what triggered it so now just focusing on what I need to do to get back to myself. Thank you so so much for telling me to feel it, honor my feelings. Today, I will write a list of what I need. Looking forward to feeling better. Again, thanks.
@@marlenelindsey7638 wow, this is special to read for my. Dank you for writing. I am 57. I am in depression shutdown situation for 6 months. My father deaded was in 2022. My unsave fealings where chronic from day one one earth. Now, after 6 months living on my sofa , in shutdown, a overwon my fears and shame by doing nothing. I am in shutdown isolating, doing nothing, this is how I am... complete alone me, myself and I. This is very confronthing. It's a journey. And I had online therapy 2x month. Sinds june I feel safe in my live ... in my body and last week I had a breaktrouh. I am reconnected with my innerchild !!! I have innerspeack now. It is to soon but my shutdown is breaking down? I am hopefull. The trust in myself is better. So after I felt save again with myself, innerspeak began and now IHave contact with my innerchild. I learn to nurse voor myself in a new way. So I will come out shutdown. It is beginning . It is a journey. Greatings.
After 48 years with my husband he died 6 years ago yesterday. I was unable to function smile c new people in my life step outside and enjoy the Florida weather. All I saw were couples and I was alone the crazy part of it was I wasn't alone I was with my son his wonderful wife and my delightful grandson. Neighbors would have been open to meeting me and being kind but I was not able to meet to smile to participate to do anything but besides lay in my bed watch TV eat alone and avoid people because I would start crying as soon as I spoke to anyone. After 18 months this led my family to be so worried about me and so upset by my depression that it was necessary to get out on my own and stand on my own two feet. The past four years have been that through many illnesses and severe health issues. I'm on my way I'm back to Smiling to being friendly to be interested in people and asking questions about their lives and remembering their names and what we talked about. It's been a terrible long road but it's possible to get there don't give up keep going even if you don't remember what happened yesterday or the week before or a year ago . One Step then a second then another then another
I've been working on reconnecting with my authentic self. Part of shut down stems from abandoning yourself to fit external expectations. Abandoning your true self causes disconnection and impacts all areas of your life.
I almost can’t believe this showed up in my feed. So many descriptions of this state of be-ing fit me perfectly. I can enjoy a social situation only so much. At a certain point I have to extricate myself from even perfectly nice people in a collegial environment, it happened just last night. I came in the house and watched the movie ‘Starman’. I was thoroughly enjoying myself when the person I’m staying with opened the door to my room and was totally rude to me and mean to boot. After the movie I put on my sleep mask and went peacefully to sleep. Her negativity starts first thing in the morning with Fox so called “News”. Like right now at 7:00 am, I can hear it. i’m going to put my shoes on and go for my nature walk thank God for that! I will get friendly little waves from people driving by. I revel in that small connection. I can hear the birds calling to each other…and me.😊
Thank you. I found this video to be helpful understanding what I only recently discovered is 'a thing'. To me, a combination of causes of shutdown (feeling of failure, resentment, bereavement, grief) makes it seem permanent, and the body's preparation for death seems natural in that light. The longing for solitude is the strongest urge. The feeling of being invisible to the surroundings and belittling myself is scary and grows stronger as time passes. The need for sleep and the lack of energy is overwhelming, too.
My son died two years ago. He was just 14. On the 23rd of May it will be two years. I have been in freeze for 4 weeks. Losing my son broke me. I used to be tough, tenacious, brave and capable. That's all gone.
So sorry for your loss. That is huge. I can't imagine what that's like. But it seems like what you are experiencing would be normal for how serious your loss is.
Something I find incredibly helpful in reconnecting is spending time on the floor. I practice something called Feldenkrais, but I also find simply rolling around on the floor in a very relaxed and unplanned way really helps me to begin to emerge from shutdown. (I'm lying on the floor right now as I wrote this:))
No kidding!? I'm going to have to try this. I wonder if this has anything to do with anions/grounding in the most basic form? I was reading somewhere that putting ones naked feet (no socks, no shoes) in dirt or sand or whatever has some kind of positive effect on our Bodies, releasing anions or something like that. Not sure if it's relevant or the same. Thanks for the tip!!
Doesn't surprise me, though I am unsure of the exact reason why. One of my therapy clients - in a shutdown - said she wanted to sit on the floor, so we did. She listened to her impulse, followed it, and this helped her to emerge from it.
@@JustinLMFT I do that too when overwhelmed. Lying down can feel like the only way to 'ground' sometimes, other times being propped up seated is ok. I think it's something to do babyhood survival parts /responses making the legs and hips/lower spine feel weak and ineffective. Core muscle support shutting down with the 'collapse' response. But full body contact is more supportive feeling in that moment...
@@JustinLMFT Irene Lyon incorporates Feldenkrais into her trauma work, and just today I heard her talk about getting down on the floor and allowing your body to move gently and that this can help you to come out of shutdown. So, she might have some answers regarding that.
Depression is a state of shutdown. The way out of it is mobilisation. So basically doing the things you are putting off will get you out of the depression.
@@meganmcpherson3292 It's very difficult. To just do 1 of my activities... is hard.. and when doing them,... there is just no excitement or pleasure.. I will keep trying,.. but the motivation seems to be diminishing... im so upset over my foolishness that took my career job I loved away... ⛓️💔🥀
@PatriciaGodboutArt I've lost so much lately,.. after the foolish mistake I made,.. I lost my dream career job! That meant everything to me. My life was structured around my job. All my friends are city bus drivers too. My life was so personally shattering.. the stress and anxiety were too much. I got insomnia and couldn't sleep at all. The panic attacks were so often that I had a mental breakdown. I haven't recovered. I just stay in the apt. now, with no interest in life. I have also now anhedonic depression. My mental and physical health are declining.... but there is nothing I can do.... I can not get my job back. I can not stop the anxiety and the insomnia. I don't sleep anymore. I'm on another 4 days straight. Nothing works. I might get 1-2 hrs sometimes. All this, every day and night .... for 7 months. I just can't believe it.... I was so happy and healthy before. I loved living and was always so busy and happy.
First blackout (vagal syncope) in 14 yrs last summer after having many since age 9.. 'Specialists' and My gp dont listen. Still have epilepsy on paperwork. At least they have deleted bi polar and replaced with cptsd. It pisses me off that the medicos have never listened. Would have been a big help reaching my potentialities in 20's and 30's......and 40's and 50's. Now 60 Your vids and time help a lot. Thank you❤
I recently went into a severe shutdown that is still coming and going. These describe it perfectly. It feels so isolating so hearing others experience is weirdly comforting. I hope we all get through this ❤
I never knew or could relate to this until I experienced trauma and now I can. I was in my 50s when everything happened so later in life. Much courage to people going through shutdown and much patience and understanding to those lucky enough to be clueless.
The symptoms are exactly the shutdown of my body due to grief and crying day and night months and months after my son died last spring - I’ve almost died several time and body numb and could barely breathe and walk. Heart weak and have lost memory and so on. 😅 Couldn’t feel arms an legs. Just came across you after a search right now. Thank you 🙏 Will go through channel and find more info. ❤
The difference I fought dying to be here for who I have Left. 😅 I basically lived to keep my son Alavert most his life. I lived for him and through him after his daddy died when he was one and a half. Also his little brother later. Finding who ya are is really really hard.😢
So sorry for your loss of your son💗🙏😥😔...We are never prepared to lose a loved one especially a child... it's not the proper order of things...my deepest empathy to you..."holding some of your pain in my heart"💗💗💗
Very helpful normalizing some scary thought and feelings. I’ve been in an extended autistic burnout, into my 6th year, but I started recognizing shutdowns inside the larger burnout. I’ve been observing and experimenting. Staying in routine and attending medical appts helps me from completely detaching, also how I maintain income and stay housed. Also my dog!! He depends on me and loves routine.
This was phenomenal and opportune timing. Having my professional dream dismantled with impunity and progressively ostracized from workplace bullying and subsequent mobbing I’ve been in a state of majority of those characteristics not to mention shortly after termination my therapist of 2 years (employed) by the organization casually informs me of going on leave for several months and hadn’t anticipated having someone fill in as she’d be available “as needed” and the colleague referred to at last minute decided to be available only as needed. Makes complete sense to be in deep freeze after years of dehumanizing disrespectful and dehumanizing treatment while holding the role of a healer and once out of the role not by choice your therapist effectively minimizes your chagrin as something to address later in year. That’s one hell of a message from the universe that you’ve been effectively cancelled from all attachments
Hear you. I had a therapist for 9 years. She was claiming sessions for govt subsidy when i hadnt seen her. Tphen she ghosted me. I was crushed as really wobbly at the time. Yet l I ke u i had to laugh at that all being a major opportunity to deal with attachment issues ha ha. Even trained as a counsellor and after that l9st all belief in any maainstream therapy. But i started falling down the rabbithole and now have a govt. Funded trauma focussed therapist and been getting a heap of processing done. Yet am still here hiding out and self isolating
@@2blackcatz426 9 years and ghosted during catastrophic time? I can’t imagine, literally have no words given the mix of emotions that compounded that sudden loss but I guess the fraud oh wait… did you ever find out what happened? My patients are likely under the impression I ghosted them and my “colleagues” and staff of which none have made any attempt to checkin but u understand that in social psychology majority of the blatant abuse is executed directly from subconscious and a lot of denial and projection to be able to live with the abuse inflicted. I digress, the insurance fraud had me wonder if her ghosting was because she got arrested!
@@2blackcatz426 where we’re at today with psychology is equivalent to medicine in the Middle Ages so I’ve always held a low bar for psychology, there are so many approaches and complexities such as perspective the avoidant attachment or narcissism etc. reconnected with said therapist and she didn’t seem phased just spoke about it in a very void of emotion way like a logistical snafu.
Thank you so much Justin, for this video. I didn’t even know it had a label. This is so much different to feeling lazy. I am mentally exhausted. Been through a lot. A lot! It’s all okay until it’s not. By making videos like this I can watch from a safe space and be more aware and have knowledge. And still get to spend time with people. But, not be around them. ❤
Thanks Justin for your deep understanding of this complex trauma reaction . I think I’m making small progress but still get exhausted easily hopefully do to my Anxiety , Isolation and inactivity for months . At least I’m considering a comeback at this point ! 😊
This is so validating. It’s both a bit sad, but also relieving that so many people have the same reaction and that my brain is behaving in an expected way. At 7:10 one of the described emotions is “easily agitated or frustrated”. For me personally that will happen in the week prior to going into shutdown, and is one of the cues that tell me a shutdown is imminent. Once I come out of shutdown it’s like nothing ever happened and I’m happy again.
Wow! This popped into my feed and just the right time. And I just thought that I had become allergic to my own company and the world had suddenly became entirely too people-y. “ A trauma response”, is what I hear when I explain how I feel.
Yeah, that's what they call it. But shutdown exists in every one of us. I don't think it necessarily needs to stem from a specific traumatic event, which is usually what people mean.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
This is a very interesting topic. Before coming to this video I had never heard of this term. It reminds me of the concept of autogenic death. Also, I think of a documentary that I watched about refugee children in Europe who had plunged into a vagal shutdown state for sometimes more than even a year as a trauma response. This topic is very interesting. The modern world is increasingly stressful as complexities and interdependencies increase and changes happen in much more rapid speed.
A curious example of the total loss of motivation is when I in a RUclips video was told to turn my head to one side, which I did. When I after thirty seconds was told to turn it to the other, I couldn't.
My mother has a very serious case of this. She has spent many months at a time just in her recliner. She’ll only get up to use the bathroom and shower (not often enough). She’s deeply shut down. She has spent so many years seeking help from Dr.s, and so obviously, she’s been diagnosed with just about everything at one time or another, and has been prescribed everything you can imagine. She almost never interacts with anyone except my Dad and Brother who live with her. And when she does (extremely rarely) see other people, she usually says and does things to cause a lot of trouble and try to push people away. Some people blame her, because they think it’s her choice, and she’s responsible for her actions. But I believe she can’t help it. I have had seasons like this myself, not quite as severe as her, because I still have kids, and I have to get up and go through the motions. But I do sympathize with mom and don’t believe her behavior is something she can simply change.
This is very interesting. I lost my father 2 years ago. My family was so tight-knit, he was my hero and best friend. When he passed, I was feeling things I never knew existed and it was horrifying.. I started doing something that I thought I would never do in a million years. I started using drugs. I have not been out buying fentanyl heroin or anything like that, but I do have people that will sell me their prescription pills. And it seems like if I can just get myself obliterated enough, I could forget about everything. This of course is led to a vicious cycle. I am just now at the point where I realized that I can't keep doing this. I've had depersonalization, delerealization, existential trauma.. so instead of dealing with the pain, I numb it. Now I am a full-on addict that is slowly losing everything.. a high paying career, a great husband, a family shattered that was once tighter than the Gordian Knot... I am in such a state of despair right now and really have no idea what to do or where to turn
God is here all the time for all of us Please reach out and pray to Him Rest in God who lives us so much unconditionally. Pray for forgiveness for sin/what you've done wrong and He always helps. God removes pain of all kinds. He is helping me at the moment Sending you prayers from England Juliet 🙏✝️
I’ve tried to come out of shutdown and it makes me more paralyzed. I can’t feel anything for my loved ones. I’m completely numb and bedridden and nothing is comforting and i can’t get out of this state with severe dpdr-going on five years
I am experiencing a lot of physical pain in my lower back and both legs. It was difficult to walk and even had pain laying down before I started the medication (I was doing a lot of strength training, running and walking before I collapsed). I have difficulty finding people to relate with as much physical pain, it's like muscle stiffness that won't recover. Is it common? I also have fatigue, headaches and the things mentioned in the video.
A month ago my vagal tone was overactive, now these past few days it’s been in shutdown I’m getting super bloated at night it’s like my digestive system is not working.
I want to die my life is hell no escape just pain and misery and suffering rage and grief and loneliness and aloneness and PTSD flashbacks consume me my soul is raped the man I revered as my best friend, raped my soul he abandoned and betrayed and discarded and replaced me over the past 15 months (almost 16), while I've been desperately trying to heal from the loss of him and from the trauma that he's caused me... he's been with my replacement, making all of his wildest dreams come true! the pain is truly debilitating and paralyzing completely unfathomable. do we really create our own reality, (even before we incarnate into this world)? if so, why this? this morning I read a quote from Lao Tzu, went something like: God gives you the people you need, not the ones you want. utter bullshit? or truth?
This overwhelmed me - @ 'reconnection' (sensation wise, i want to thank you for this keen unpleasantness - which sounds odd to say but, awareness is POWERFUL) Its a donkey kick - so one supposes, theirs 'A Donkey'. My breath is FULL with BREATHLESSNESS - how vercerally, poetic
I have been a life long in shut down, but not recognized it very often because i had too much stimulation from outside. Now i am not distracted and i understand my shutdown, as a LOST SENSE, LOST SOUL. It wont be be better to hear the symptoms.. it needs to open up to SPIRIT and stop the talking and worrying
New subscriber. I look forward to watching your other videos. I'm grateful the algorithm directed me to this video today. I have adult-onset idiopathic Harlequin syndrome. It's mostly under control unless I overexert myself physically, get overheated, or experience a strong emotion. I can relate to some of the participants' thoughts and feelings.
Oh my friend, NO, you have a purpose and are so valuable. Please don't feel like you don't matter or should be here. If you were here, I would listen and understand you and hug you.
Thank you, this is very helpful! I have a question: when I am in shutdown I think I don't have any energy for doing anything that would reconnect me to myself or the world or others and bring me out of shutdown. When you say "story follows state" then this belief might be wrong and just be a product of the shutdown state? So I might change the belief to "I can leave the shutdown state and then energy comes back"? Do you know what I mean?
Yep, I know what you mean. Our stories can be wrong, yes. I find it more helpful to focus on changing the state versus the story. Altering thoughts is very difficult, as they come from the state. If one can anchor into the present moment, thoughts will change.
Hi Justin, have u come across people experiencing physical symptoms? i try exercising or doing light or slow exercises but i cant activate my muscles which sounds really bizarre, because it is. it's like the muscle tone wont activate at all. and my breathing muscles feel weak at all times as well, the rhythm is off. i have a lisp. all my muscles feel completely weak its so bizarre. and the complete absence of stress and muscle tension. these symptoms dont come and go but are there all the time
I can't tell you the source of what you're experiencing. But the Polyvagal states show up physically, yes. Flight and fight result in increased heart rate, for example. Shutdown can lead to heaviness and weakness.
To me ( as a retired NHS high intensity trauma therapist), what you are describing is severe clinical depression. Can you differentiate for me in brief?
Dorsal vagal shutdown is the biology of depression through the lens of the Polyvagal Theory. "Depression" is a medical diagnosis focusing on behaviors.
What I experience is definitely a disconnection and shutdown in a very physical way. I become non responsive. I cant respond to stimuli very much. Ive spent from seconds to close to an hour in a quasi frozen state, eyes open but sometimes closed. I can hear people talking but it’s a muffled sound. Is this a shutdown? I do not know if I experience dissociation aside from those frequent experiences (im in a day treatment at the moment and it happens several times a day). For me it’s like a complete physical shutdown. Any thoughts on what to specifically call those?
The only thing I didn’t connect to was using senses to reconnect because sensory issues make me go into shutdown. So it has the opposite effect on me. Breathing makes me float out of my body. I think it’s because I’m autistic 🤔
It's helped clients of mine to identify one sense that can utilize. And then, identify something with that one sense that feels better than not. One of my highly dissociative clients said she liked the feel of a certain blanket. That was the starting point. As she accessed more safety, we expanded from there.
Walking through toffee ! Spend all my time doing whats needed to survive. I know very well that i could potentially leave this world if i dont walk through the toffee ! Just want to be alone !
Laughter, yawning, and crying often accompany each other. I understand them as the body's attempts to self-regulate, release stuck defensive activation, and get needed oxygen. I tell my clients to trust their body's attempts to self-regulate and part of that is yawning.
OK yes informed I have joined. Suggest networking yourself to Merogenomics*. Will see how you intergrate biology like ADHD CPSTD. I attemp to utilise improving my ATP with extremely cautious protection of my gut biome. Emerging science= understanding direct brain influence of gut microbes. Clean filters: water oxygen sleep Harder than Hell but does wk imo
You're assuming that people have a good awareness of their cognitions when in a shutdown state. Per my experience they go into automatic thoughts that have already been patterned and may not have to do with the present at all.
Hey Justin, really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with Best Quality Editing in your videos better than your Editor with good pricing and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail which will help your videos to reach to a wider audience ? Pls let me know what do you think ?
I way prefer shut down, although it’s scary, at least it’s a break in the mind and body I’m highly activated otherwise which is a lot more dangerous to me. Neither is conducive to connection
I braided my hair yesterday and told myself I looked good. That is a big thing
my body always feels like it's in cement and my brain is in pain.
*CONGRATULATIONS TO THOSE WHO'VE MADE IT THIS FAR. KEEP GOING!*
🎉
Been shut down since 2019.
Figuring it out more and more.
Living with someone who is narcissistic martyr who has been shaming me.
Leaving soon🫤
Update, I moved into a peaceful place!🥰💜🩷❤️🙄
@@deborahriley1166 Such good luck, truly. You poor soul. 🕊🌿🌳🌴
Say goodbye to the darkness!💪🏼
(Been there)🫶
Wow... finally understand what I am going through. The lack of energy, the apathy, it all fits.
When you said freezing I could relate. I’m 3 months in. Started in February 2024. It’s now May. Doing the bare minimum. Heavy, small,isolate, overwhelmed, overstimulated all present. No thoughts of death or suicidal ideation. I moved into a retirement home at 56, due to physical disabilities and mental illness. Here just over a year, and now think it may have been a bad idea, although I moved from a very unsafe area to a very safe area. I feel like I’m tired of fighting my own autoimmune system which is attacking me and tired of fighting depression. Lost my dad in August of 2023. In September had a bad fall and ended up in a coma for 2 weeks. I was in a trauma center from 9-29 to 10-23. I don’t know what triggered it so now just focusing on what I need to do to get back to myself. Thank you so so much for telling me to feel it, honor my feelings. Today, I will write a list of what I need. Looking forward to feeling better. Again, thanks.
@@marlenelindsey7638 wow, this is special to read for my. Dank you for writing. I am 57. I am in depression shutdown situation for 6 months. My father deaded was in 2022. My unsave fealings where chronic from day one one earth. Now, after 6 months living on my sofa , in shutdown, a overwon my fears and shame by doing nothing. I am in shutdown isolating, doing nothing, this is how I am... complete alone me, myself and I. This is very confronthing. It's a journey. And I had online therapy 2x month. Sinds june I feel safe in my live ... in my body and last week I had a breaktrouh. I am reconnected with my innerchild !!! I have innerspeack now. It is to soon but my shutdown is breaking down? I am hopefull. The trust in myself is better. So after I felt save again with myself, innerspeak began and now IHave contact with my innerchild. I learn to nurse voor myself in a new way. So I will come out shutdown. It is beginning . It is a journey. Greatings.
@@marlenelindsey7638 how are you feeling now Marlene? 🤗
@@marlenelindsey7638 may spirit protect and guide you🙏🏼🪽❤️
Gosh. Its reassuring to know so many people understand it.
Now how the heck do I fix it? This feels awful, I've wasted so much time.
After 48 years with my husband he died 6 years ago yesterday. I was unable to function smile c new people in my life step outside and enjoy the Florida weather. All I saw were couples and I was alone the crazy part of it was I wasn't alone I was with my son his wonderful wife and my delightful grandson. Neighbors would have been open to meeting me and being kind but I was not able to meet to smile to participate to do anything but besides lay in my bed watch TV eat alone and avoid people because I would start crying as soon as I spoke to anyone. After 18 months this led my family to be so worried about me and so upset by my depression that it was necessary to get out on my own and stand on my own two feet. The past four years have been that through many illnesses and severe health issues. I'm on my way I'm back to Smiling to being friendly to be interested in people and asking questions about their lives and remembering their names and what we talked about. It's been a terrible long road but it's possible to get there don't give up keep going even if you don't remember what happened yesterday or the week before or a year ago . One Step then a second then another then another
I lost my sense of humor I finally started to be happy because it's up to me to be happy it's not someone else's job
I've been working on reconnecting with my authentic self. Part of shut down stems from abandoning yourself to fit external expectations. Abandoning your true self causes disconnection and impacts all areas of your life.
Me to!!
THIS
What is the "true self"? What does that mean?
@@WarmAusterity-ii8dt you should know who your true self is, it’s the self that isn’t acting or pretending, the self like you when you were a child.
I almost can’t believe this showed up in my feed. So many descriptions of this state of be-ing fit me perfectly. I can enjoy a social situation only so much. At a certain point I have to extricate myself from even perfectly nice people in a collegial environment, it happened just last night. I came in the house and watched the movie ‘Starman’. I was thoroughly enjoying myself when the person I’m staying with opened the door to my room and was totally rude to me and mean to boot. After the movie I put on my sleep mask and went peacefully to sleep. Her negativity starts first thing in the morning with Fox so called “News”. Like right now at 7:00 am, I can hear it. i’m going to put my shoes on and go for my nature walk thank God for that! I will get friendly little waves from people driving by. I revel in that small connection. I can hear the birds calling to each other…and me.😊
Thank you. I found this video to be helpful understanding what I only recently discovered is 'a thing'.
To me, a combination of causes of shutdown (feeling of failure, resentment, bereavement, grief) makes it seem permanent, and the body's preparation for death seems natural in that light.
The longing for solitude is the strongest urge. The feeling of being invisible to the surroundings and belittling myself is scary and grows stronger as time passes.
The need for sleep and the lack of energy is overwhelming, too.
You're welcome. Thanks for leaving a comment and sharing your thoughts.
My son died two years ago. He was just 14. On the 23rd of May it will be two years. I have been in freeze for 4 weeks. Losing my son broke me. I used to be tough, tenacious, brave and capable. That's all gone.
I also lost my son 2 years ago. I'm so sorry for your loss. 💔❤️🩹❣️
I know I'm just a stranger but my God, my heart hurts for you. What a terrible loss, are there even words for that pain. I doubt it 💔
So sorry for your loss. That is huge. I can't imagine what that's like. But it seems like what you are experiencing would be normal for how serious your loss is.
Talk about FAWN....placating an abuser in order to lessen abuse or win favor from the abuser
I did an episode on fawn and appeasement not too long ago - ruclips.net/video/4vTXTEF47pQ/видео.html
Something I find incredibly helpful in reconnecting is spending time on the floor. I practice something called Feldenkrais, but I also find simply rolling around on the floor in a very relaxed and unplanned way really helps me to begin to emerge from shutdown. (I'm lying on the floor right now as I wrote this:))
No kidding!? I'm going to have to try this.
I wonder if this has anything to do with anions/grounding in the most basic form? I was reading somewhere that putting ones naked feet (no socks, no shoes) in dirt or sand or whatever has some kind of positive effect on our Bodies, releasing anions or something like that. Not sure if it's relevant or the same.
Thanks for the tip!!
Doesn't surprise me, though I am unsure of the exact reason why. One of my therapy clients - in a shutdown - said she wanted to sit on the floor, so we did. She listened to her impulse, followed it, and this helped her to emerge from it.
@@JustinLMFT I do that too when overwhelmed. Lying down can feel like the only way to 'ground' sometimes, other times being propped up seated is ok. I think it's something to do babyhood survival parts /responses making the legs and hips/lower spine feel weak and ineffective. Core muscle support shutting down with the 'collapse' response. But full body contact is more supportive feeling in that moment...
The ground provides a strong sensory input of being grounded and stable. I can relate to this experience.
@@JustinLMFT Irene Lyon incorporates Feldenkrais into her trauma work, and just today I heard her talk about getting down on the floor and allowing your body to move gently and that this can help you to come out of shutdown. So, she might have some answers regarding that.
I going through this... unable to move. I have depression, it's so horrible. Im all alone.. and just don't move.
Depression is a state of shutdown. The way out of it is mobilisation. So basically doing the things you are putting off will get you out of the depression.
@@meganmcpherson3292 It's very difficult.
To just do 1 of my activities... is hard.. and when doing them,... there is just no excitement or pleasure.. I will keep trying,.. but the motivation seems to be diminishing... im so upset over my foolishness that took my career job I loved away... ⛓️💔🥀
Please take care of yourself, you are precious and worth it please!
@PatriciaGodboutArt I've lost so much lately,.. after the foolish mistake I made,.. I lost my dream career job! That meant everything to me. My life was structured around my job. All my friends are city bus drivers too. My life was so personally shattering.. the stress and anxiety were too much. I got insomnia and couldn't sleep at all. The panic attacks were so often that I had a mental breakdown. I haven't recovered. I just stay in the apt. now, with no interest in life. I have also now anhedonic depression. My mental and physical health are declining.... but there is nothing I can do.... I can not get my job back. I can not stop the anxiety and the insomnia. I don't sleep anymore. I'm on another 4 days straight. Nothing works. I might get 1-2 hrs sometimes. All this, every day and night .... for 7 months. I just can't believe it.... I was so happy and healthy before. I loved living and was always so busy and happy.
This sounds horrible. How are you doing right now?
First blackout (vagal syncope) in 14 yrs last summer after having many since age 9.. 'Specialists' and My gp dont listen. Still have epilepsy on paperwork. At least they have deleted bi polar and replaced with cptsd. It pisses me off that the medicos have never listened. Would have been a big help reaching my potentialities in 20's and 30's......and 40's and 50's. Now 60
Your vids and time help a lot. Thank you❤
I recently went into a severe shutdown that is still coming and going. These describe it perfectly. It feels so isolating so hearing others experience is weirdly comforting. I hope we all get through this ❤
I never knew or could relate to this until I experienced trauma and now I can. I was in my 50s when everything happened so later in life. Much courage to people going through shutdown and much patience and understanding to those lucky enough to be clueless.
Thanks for the comment and kind words for others. :)
The symptoms are exactly the shutdown of my body due to grief and crying day and night months and months after my son died last spring - I’ve almost died several time and body numb and could barely breathe and walk. Heart weak and have lost memory and so on. 😅
Couldn’t feel arms an legs.
Just came across you after a search right now. Thank you 🙏
Will go through channel and find more info. ❤
The difference I fought dying to be here for who I have Left. 😅
I basically lived to keep my son Alavert most his life.
I lived for him and through him after his daddy died when he was one and a half. Also his little brother later.
Finding who ya are is really really hard.😢
You're very welcome. And I really hope my other content is helpful for you.
@@JustinLMFT Thank You 🥰
So sorry for your loss of your son💗🙏😥😔...We are never prepared to lose a loved one especially a child... it's not the proper order of things...my deepest empathy to you..."holding some of your pain in my heart"💗💗💗
So sorry for your loss of your son😔😥😔..We are never ready to lose a loved one especially a child... it's not the proper order of things 💗💗💗
Yeah this describes me. I’ve been fighting this for years bc of ptsd and anxiety. Which has resulted in depression.
Very helpful normalizing some scary thought and feelings. I’ve been in an extended autistic burnout, into my 6th year, but I started recognizing shutdowns inside the larger burnout. I’ve been observing and experimenting. Staying in routine and attending medical appts helps me from completely detaching, also how I maintain income and stay housed. Also my dog!! He depends on me and loves routine.
I noticed i was able to feel sad but tears dont come out? I also feel tingling in the brain.
This was phenomenal and opportune timing. Having my professional dream dismantled with impunity and progressively ostracized from workplace bullying and subsequent mobbing I’ve been in a state of majority of those characteristics not to mention shortly after termination my therapist of 2 years (employed) by the organization casually informs me of going on leave for several months and hadn’t anticipated having someone fill in as she’d be available “as needed” and the colleague referred to at last minute decided to be available only as needed. Makes complete sense to be in deep freeze after years of dehumanizing disrespectful and dehumanizing treatment while holding the role of a healer and once out of the role not by choice your therapist effectively minimizes your chagrin as something to address later in year. That’s one hell of a message from the universe that you’ve been effectively cancelled from all attachments
Hear you. I had a therapist for 9 years. She was claiming sessions for govt subsidy when i hadnt seen her. Tphen she ghosted me. I was crushed as really wobbly at the time. Yet l I ke u i had to laugh at that all being a major opportunity to deal with attachment issues ha ha. Even trained as a counsellor and after that l9st all belief in any maainstream therapy. But i started falling down the rabbithole and now have a govt. Funded trauma focussed therapist and been getting a heap of processing done.
Yet am still here hiding out and self isolating
@@2blackcatz426 9 years and ghosted during catastrophic time? I can’t imagine, literally have no words given the mix of emotions that compounded that sudden loss but I guess the fraud oh wait… did you ever find out what happened?
My patients are likely under the impression I ghosted them and my “colleagues” and staff of which none have made any attempt to checkin but u understand that in social psychology majority of the blatant abuse is executed directly from subconscious and a lot of denial and projection to be able to live with the abuse inflicted.
I digress, the insurance fraud had me wonder if her ghosting was because she got arrested!
@@2blackcatz426 where we’re at today with psychology is equivalent to medicine in the Middle Ages so I’ve always held a low bar for psychology, there are so many approaches and complexities such as perspective the avoidant attachment or narcissism etc.
reconnected with said therapist and she didn’t seem phased just spoke about it in a very void of emotion way like a logistical snafu.
Thank you so much Justin, for this video. I didn’t even know it had a label.
This is so much different to feeling lazy. I am mentally exhausted. Been through a lot. A lot! It’s all okay until it’s not.
By making videos like this I can watch from a safe space and be more aware and have knowledge. And still get to spend time with people. But, not be around them. ❤
You're welcome!
Thanks Justin for your deep understanding of this complex trauma reaction . I think I’m making small progress but still get exhausted easily hopefully do to my Anxiety , Isolation and inactivity for months . At least I’m considering a comeback at this point ! 😊
This is so validating. It’s both a bit sad, but also relieving that so many people have the same reaction and that my brain is behaving in an expected way.
At 7:10 one of the described emotions is “easily agitated or frustrated”. For me personally that will happen in the week prior to going into shutdown, and is one of the cues that tell me a shutdown is imminent. Once I come out of shutdown it’s like nothing ever happened and I’m happy again.
I have experienced this!!!! Thank you for explaining this it was the worst experience of my life
You're very welcome!
Wow! This popped into my feed and just the right time. And I just thought that I had become allergic to my own company and the world had suddenly became entirely too people-y. “ A trauma response”, is what I hear when I explain how I feel.
Yeah, that's what they call it. But shutdown exists in every one of us. I don't think it necessarily needs to stem from a specific traumatic event, which is usually what people mean.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
This is a very interesting topic. Before coming to this video I had never heard of this term. It reminds me of the concept of autogenic death. Also, I think of a documentary that I watched about refugee children in Europe who had plunged into a vagal shutdown state for sometimes more than even a year as a trauma response. This topic is very interesting. The modern world is increasingly stressful as complexities and interdependencies increase and changes happen in much more rapid speed.
You make it sound so easy to reconnect with people
sounds easy. not easy to do.
Wow ~ thank you so much for explaining my behaviour or lack of...
Good to know
I'm not alone in this state .... Cheers
You're very welcome
A curious example of the total loss of motivation is when I in a RUclips video was told to turn my head to one side, which I did. When I after thirty seconds was told to turn it to the other, I couldn't.
I grieved loosing a company that i once worked with because the staff were like a second family to me.
Thank you so much for this. Hearing there are others, in my head i understand im not alone. My heart goes out 💔🕊️
My mother has a very serious case of this. She has spent many months at a time just in her recliner. She’ll only get up to use the bathroom and shower (not often enough).
She’s deeply shut down. She has spent so many years seeking help from Dr.s, and so obviously, she’s been diagnosed with just about everything at one time or another, and has been prescribed everything you can imagine.
She almost never interacts with anyone except my Dad and Brother who live with her. And when she does (extremely rarely) see other people, she usually says and does things to cause a lot of trouble and try to push people away.
Some people blame her, because they think it’s her choice, and she’s responsible for her actions. But I believe she can’t help it. I have had seasons like this myself, not quite as severe as her, because I still have kids, and I have to get up and go through the motions. But I do sympathize with mom and don’t believe her behavior is something she can simply change.
Yeah, coming out of shutdown is not simply a choice. However, we can do small things to help ourselves. Sometimes very small things.
This is very interesting. I lost my father 2 years ago. My family was so tight-knit, he was my hero and best friend. When he passed, I was feeling things I never knew existed and it was horrifying.. I started doing something that I thought I would never do in a million years. I started using drugs. I have not been out buying fentanyl heroin or anything like that, but I do have people that will sell me their prescription pills. And it seems like if I can just get myself obliterated enough, I could forget about everything. This of course is led to a vicious cycle. I am just now at the point where I realized that I can't keep doing this. I've had depersonalization, delerealization, existential trauma.. so instead of dealing with the pain, I numb it. Now I am a full-on addict that is slowly losing everything.. a high paying career, a great husband, a family shattered that was once tighter than the Gordian Knot... I am in such a state of despair right now and really have no idea what to do or where to turn
God is here all the time for all of us
Please reach out and pray to Him
Rest in God who lives us so much unconditionally.
Pray for forgiveness for sin/what you've done wrong and He always helps. God removes pain of all kinds.
He is helping me at the moment
Sending you prayers from England
Juliet
🙏✝️
I’ve tried to come out of shutdown and it makes me more paralyzed. I can’t feel anything for my loved ones. I’m completely numb and bedridden and nothing is comforting and i can’t get out of this state with severe dpdr-going on five years
Disconnected or also known as Depersonalisation/Derealisation Disorder.. Hands up if this is you?
Unable to make decisions.
I am experiencing a lot of physical pain in my lower back and both legs. It was difficult to walk and even had pain laying down before I started the medication (I was doing a lot of strength training, running and walking before I collapsed). I have difficulty finding people to relate with as much physical pain, it's like muscle stiffness that won't recover. Is it common? I also have fatigue, headaches and the things mentioned in the video.
This is so interesting. I experience shutdown a lot, and in particular, I’ve been in and out of shutdown for the last month or so. It’s so hard.
I’ll never know happiness again
A month ago my vagal tone was overactive, now these past few days it’s been in shutdown I’m getting super bloated at night it’s like my digestive system is not working.
I want to die
my life is hell
no escape
just pain and misery and suffering
rage and grief
and loneliness and aloneness
and PTSD flashbacks
consume me
my soul is raped
the man I revered as my best friend,
raped my soul
he abandoned and betrayed and discarded and replaced me
over the past 15 months (almost 16),
while I've been desperately trying to heal
from the loss of him
and from the trauma that he's caused me...
he's been with my replacement,
making all of his wildest dreams come true!
the pain is truly debilitating and paralyzing
completely unfathomable.
do we really create our own reality,
(even before we incarnate into this world)?
if so,
why this?
this morning I read a quote from Lao Tzu, went something like:
God gives you the people you need,
not the ones you want.
utter bullshit? or truth?
Thank you Justin, your work goes from strength to strength😊
I appreciate that! And you're welcome :)
This overwhelmed me - @ 'reconnection' (sensation wise, i want to thank you for this keen unpleasantness - which sounds odd to say but, awareness is POWERFUL)
Its a donkey kick - so one supposes, theirs 'A Donkey'.
My breath is FULL with BREATHLESSNESS - how vercerally, poetic
Could this be why I've isolated for so long and lost 20lbs? Sleep so much?
Part 2 I just thought is was fatigue syndrome.
I have been a life long in shut down, but not recognized it very often because i had too much stimulation from outside. Now i am not distracted and i understand my shutdown, as a LOST SENSE, LOST SOUL. It wont be be better to hear the symptoms.. it needs to open up to SPIRIT and stop the talking and worrying
New subscriber. I look forward to watching your other videos. I'm grateful the algorithm directed me to this video today. I have adult-onset idiopathic Harlequin syndrome. It's mostly under control unless I overexert myself physically, get overheated, or experience a strong emotion. I can relate to some of the participants' thoughts and feelings.
Welcome aboard!
I understand the floaty head sensation.
Dpdr in shutdown is creepy
these videos are very helpful thank you
You're very welcome!
I’m def going thru this but I have no one to vent to about it and it’s actually he’ll just want everything to end
I want to erase my very existence, even my name or any memory of myself. Looking to legally change my name to worthless nobody.
Oh my friend, NO, you have a purpose and are so valuable. Please don't feel like you don't matter or should be here. If you were here, I would listen and understand you and hug you.
Nice shelves.
I put a lot of love into those, thank you.
What about the complications with this state and anxiety disorder?
Anxiety is related to the flight state, not shutdown. When flight and shutdown are both active, it results in freeze (panic).
Thank you, this is very helpful! I have a question: when I am in shutdown I think I don't have any energy for doing anything that would reconnect me to myself or the world or others and bring me out of shutdown. When you say "story follows state" then this belief might be wrong and just be a product of the shutdown state? So I might change the belief to "I can leave the shutdown state and then energy comes back"? Do you know what I mean?
Yep, I know what you mean. Our stories can be wrong, yes. I find it more helpful to focus on changing the state versus the story. Altering thoughts is very difficult, as they come from the state. If one can anchor into the present moment, thoughts will change.
thanku for th confirmation...def can relate...🙏🩵
Can you do the same for freeze?
I may expand the survey to the other Polyvagal states in the future. Or make one for each state?
Hi Justin, have u come across people experiencing physical symptoms? i try exercising or doing light or slow exercises but i cant activate my muscles which sounds really bizarre, because it is. it's like the muscle tone wont activate at all. and my breathing muscles feel weak at all times as well, the rhythm is off. i have a lisp. all my muscles feel completely weak its so bizarre. and the complete absence of stress and muscle tension. these symptoms dont come and go but are there all the time
I can't tell you the source of what you're experiencing. But the Polyvagal states show up physically, yes. Flight and fight result in increased heart rate, for example. Shutdown can lead to heaviness and weakness.
I have "pins and needles " in legs and feet....lots of physical symptoms.
No physical cause that doctor can find
Id like to receive this survey
The survey is closed, but I will do another round of it in 2025!
To me ( as a retired NHS high intensity trauma therapist), what you are describing is severe clinical depression. Can you differentiate for me in brief?
Dorsal vagal shutdown is the biology of depression through the lens of the Polyvagal Theory. "Depression" is a medical diagnosis focusing on behaviors.
So sad that emotionally wounded people have to pay for friendship with a therapist.
What I experience is definitely a disconnection and shutdown in a very physical way. I become non responsive. I cant respond to stimuli very much. Ive spent from seconds to close to an hour in a quasi frozen state, eyes open but sometimes closed. I can hear people talking but it’s a muffled sound. Is this a shutdown? I do not know if I experience dissociation aside from those frequent experiences (im in a day treatment at the moment and it happens several times a day). For me it’s like a complete physical shutdown. Any thoughts on what to specifically call those?
I can't answer that for you in particular. Have you seen my freeze content? That might be useful for you. I actually have one on shutdown vs freeze.
This was video was amazingly helpful, thanks Justin.
Yay! And you're welcome :)
The only thing I didn’t connect to was using senses to reconnect because sensory issues make me go into shutdown. So it has the opposite effect on me. Breathing makes me float out of my body. I think it’s because I’m autistic 🤔
It's helped clients of mine to identify one sense that can utilize. And then, identify something with that one sense that feels better than not. One of my highly dissociative clients said she liked the feel of a certain blanket. That was the starting point. As she accessed more safety, we expanded from there.
Floating sounds great.
Walking through toffee ! Spend all my time doing whats needed to survive. I know very well that i could potentially leave this world if i dont walk through the toffee ! Just want to be alone !
Just wondering if u can answer a question I've been wondering about. Why when I cry do I get the uncontrollable need to yawn?
Laughter, yawning, and crying often accompany each other. I understand them as the body's attempts to self-regulate, release stuck defensive activation, and get needed oxygen. I tell my clients to trust their body's attempts to self-regulate and part of that is yawning.
@@JustinLMFT very interesting because I tend to sigh alot during these episodes.
The other top emotion was "numb" on the chart, not alone
was it??? oops!
OK yes informed I have joined. Suggest networking yourself to Merogenomics*.
Will see how you intergrate biology like ADHD CPSTD.
I attemp to utilise improving my ATP with extremely cautious protection of my gut biome. Emerging science= understanding direct brain influence of gut microbes.
Clean filters: water oxygen sleep
Harder than Hell but does wk imo
You're assuming that people have a good awareness of their cognitions when in a shutdown state.
Per my experience they go into automatic thoughts that have already been patterned and may not have to do with the present at all.
could we all be ascending to next level/new world?
Hey Justin, really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with Best Quality Editing in your videos better than your Editor with good pricing and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail which will help your videos to reach to a wider audience ? Pls let me know what do you think ?
In the words of Pink Floyd
"Comfortably Numb"
Nice one. Those words just took on a different meaning.
My thoughts exactly!... AND my forever-favorite band!
I'm 60 also!
Get GROUNDING ! XO
I way prefer shut down, although it’s scary, at least it’s a break in the mind and body
I’m highly activated otherwise which is a lot more dangerous to me. Neither is conducive to connection
The problem is that most people who suffer from this aren't aware of it
Yep. Instead, they sadly remain stuck and repeat unhelpful attempts to feel better.
Shame and guilt
Parents misplaced guilt
Feel sad & depression
Easily agitated and frustrated
Wow
Or,....we are here, because we are just curious..
Welcome!
I'm here to say NO MORE INFLUENCERS!!! Let the influencers eat cake
You should say shutdown more.
roger that.
I'm excited for my next sexy, creative photoshoot.
NEW subscriber ❤ Thank you ❤️🩹
Thanks for subbing!