Coping with Depression and Chronic Pain with Build A Ladder
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- Опубликовано: 29 дек 2020
- If you're interested in following my new upcoming life adventures, I have started my own RUclips channel. Hope to see you in the comment section overs at / kingkogi
If you'd like to check out my new shop, it's kingkogi.ca and I've just started selling my newest designs. Drawing, doodling, making videos, making music, all these things give me a positive place to focus my mind.
Oh and check out: King.Kogi for my private instagram 🐷👑
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This is not a depressing video. In fact, it's the opposite. Before we welcome in 2021, I wanted to put up a positive video about coping with feeling low and being depressed using Build A Ladder as a coping method. I realized I never actually took the time to make a FULL video discussing this, so I wanted to show you what I've been doing as of late to add rungs to my ladder.
A few years ago I put up a video discussing how I cope with depression. It was a shocking video for those of you that see me as only a "happy" person, but many people are able to be happy while also fighting and struggling with sad thoughts and feelings. Despite struggling with dark thoughts and an overall depletion of happy brain juice (due to my chronic illness, I was born with Type 3 Hypermobility Ehlers Danlos Syndromes) I do consider myself a pretty positive person!
However, positive doesn't = always being happy. To me, it means being able to look at the world through a some what happy lens despite the struggles life deals to you. It isn't a FAKE happy where you pretend to be "ok" but it is an attitude of "no giving up" on life, I'm going to TRY and be happy! Things don't have to be going well for you to appreciate a sunset or the food in your mouth. But I believe that keeping "positive" is a skill we all have to work on.
I didn't go into detail about this in the video, but every single morning I wake up to an ocean of body pain. Everything hurts, and the adrenaline and chemicals coursing through my body effect my brain and my attitude. My brain tells me on the daily to GO BACK TO BED to GIVE UP. But I use Build A Ladder as a method of coping with this negativity.
Lots of love to the B.A.L Tanuki SQUAD, your posts on Discord, Instagram, Twitter, RUclips, and the World Wide Web help inspire me to continue to find reasons and methods for building my own ladder.
"Your worth is not measured by your productivity." Oy. I need that sign.
This video just felt like a warm hug that we all really needed.
Plus my dance moves, too hot
I like your pfp, fellow JtHM fan!
@Samuel Shin HOW DO YOU HAVE THE TIME TO COPY AND PASTE THIS ON LIKE THIS ENTIRE COMMENt seCTION
@@ryannguyen7853 yeah I know right? I mean, they’re welcome to leave an angry, uninformed comment, but don’t go around copying and pasting it everyyyyyywhere that’s just spammy
I think this is why I like Ghibli movies so much. Miyazaki Hayao romanticizes the mundane. Romanticizing my mundane has helped me during so many dark moments. Seeing how the sunlight reflects and passes through my crappy ¥100 blue plastic cup and on to the counter makes me happy. Seeing the mountains dappled in snow as the sun rises makes me happy. Hearing the cicadas and other insects sing their songs in the summer, window open, and watching as the breeze lightly pushes my hanging sheets makes me happy. Miyazaki-san taught me my first steps to building a ladder: by showing me how beautiful this existence is simply by it being.
This is definitely one of many things that makes his movies so beautiful. Despite watching anime from a young age I never watched a lot of Miyzaki films, looks like I need to catch up!
Can't imagine enjoying the sound of cicadas. 😕
THIS! Omg, that sums it all up!
I'm building a ramp. Because I'm in a wheelchair. lol xo
You win the comments lol
On your way up Bebe ❤️
Awww this comment was so cute ❤️
Lol by any means necessary
Just found your channel and subbed, very impressive work!
A recent skill I discovered is to ask myself "what would hurt less?" Instead of "what would make me feel better". When emotions (or physical pain) are so intense, it feels like NOTHING will help. But what would hurt less?
A recent example:
Me, lying in bed sobbing: everything is sh*t
Supportive me: what would hurt less?
Me: A shower would hurt less.
SM: Could you get up and take a shower? Me: No its too far. Its impossible.
SM: Why not imagine what a shower would feel like?
Me: Ok.... (some time passes) that hurts less
SM: How bout now? Do you think you could take a shower?
Me: Ya i can.
Also the skill of talking to yourself as if you would your best friend is very helpful.
Thanks Martina!
I like this. Thank you for sharing. ❤️
@@teachercarli you're welcome 😊 I hope it helps you like it's helped me
This is a really helpful analogy. Thank you so much for sharing. I will try to think it this way from now on.
Your comment helps. I'm going to try it. thanks.
That is exactly what I’ve been doing today. I had the worst pain the last two days and I’m trying to get myself into the shower.
I think Martina need tiny ladders for her tiny figurines ❤️
OMG amazing idea haha
This is THE idea !!
I know you have at least one ;)
Excellent idea!
Cute ladder merch! ❤️💜💙💚💛
Recently had to come back to this video to remind myself how to kind of build a ladder and ground myself. Love you Martina!
One day I had an epiphany - I was having a very very low day and thinking all kinds of negative thoughts to myself. I was in the bathroom crying, and I saw myself in the mirror and I just looked SO SAD and all I could think was, I wish I could give that sad girl a hug. And then I realized, if I was one of my friends, I would never be so mean and so hard on a friend. And from that moment on when I'm being really hard on myself, I do my best to think what would I say to my friend? And I think those thoughts to myself. It's taken a lot of effort and practice, but slowly I am turning my inner critic into an inner friend.
I do that too. I've dealt with dark times and what would pull me out was looking at my childhood photos and asking myself what this tiny person deserves. Treating yourself like a friend is truly helpful.
Thank you so much for this comment.
Is it possible to write letters to yourself when you need the encouragement? I don’t know you but I want to pat your hand, and tell you this will pass. I believe in you and your heart.
Love that and I do that too! Being your own best friend can never hurt.♥️
that is actually a really good method and it defitely takes a lot out of you to try and influence your way of thinking about yourself. really amazing job i dont know you but i'm proud of you :)
I missed your positivity
It is here and I'm ready to overwhelm you! Haha
Attagirl!! ^_^
and also, what I've learned so far:
Don't let other people disprove your little happiness, because you're climbing your own ladder.
I hope a lot more people realize that🥺 Thank you Martina!!❤️❤️
Hey Martina, I know a lot has changed since you posted this video and you will probably never see this. I just wanted to express how much build a ladder has helped myself and others. I work in mental health and use ‘build a ladder’ with people coping with chronic mental health and pain conditions (not as part of a treatment plan, just to get ppl started thinking about small, manageable change). People usually find it much easier to grasp quickly compared to spoons theory and I appreciate you putting this out there. Keep building that ladder everyone 🌈
As sad as we are that you two are getting divorced, it's much sadder to stay in a relationship that's no longer giving each person what they need. Wishing the two of you so much happiness. Thank you for all of the laughs and joy that you guys have given me over the years. I'll definitely support you two on your separate paths.
Omg I haven't been checking on them for a while. What happened? Why are they getting divorced? May you be so kind and please tell me what happened? :(((
@@jaxd7206 They put out a statement on their Instagram (definitely check it out). I guess they just started going towards different paths. I'm sure there's a lot more to it, but at the end of the day, they're doing what's best for both of them. Really wishing them the best. 🙏
@@alise4041 Not without God
@@alise4041 faith in long lasting relationships lost...
@@alise4041 exactly what I was thinking. Goes to show when you think everything is great it can turn so quickly😣
Just yesterday I was literally saying to my partner that I'm fed up with my chronic pain and I need a video where Martina reminds me to build a ladder. Thank you!
Boom! Ask and Ye Shall Receive
I’m sending this to my husband so we can create a ladder together since he’s been in so much pain since he got hit by a car on his bicycle.
Oh no. It is especially tough when someone is not used to being in pain, it can seem never ending, but I try to see each recovery day as 1% or 5% better than the few before. As in, "today hurts and I hate this...but it is EXACTLY the same as day 1 of injury? No. It is ________% better." It helps me maintain perspective, I hope this method might be able to help your husband cope!
So sad to hear this. Getting hit by a car sucks when you are on a cycle.
I've had it happen but wasn't injured too bad.
Other things cause my problems.
If he has an inside hobby/video game he can really focus on it might help. The kind where when you do it your sense of time just vanishes.
It helps with me. I find the times where I can't distract myself are when I hurt the worst.
When I was suffering the worst was from degenerative joint disease grinding up my joints at the same time as a staph infection in my leg I was on morphine just to allow me to sleep.
Since then I've been able to get away from major pain meds. I still use gabapentin when the need arises. Some months I need more some less.
It will take time but he will become more accustomed to sensations and how to cope with them.
Good luck.
@@douglascampbell9809 thank you and I’m sorry that happened to you as well. When Jacob was coming home from PT when we were in Hawaii, I got scared for my life because I was afraid that my child wouldn’t know her father.(I was 2 months pregnant at the time) I was scared. But now he’s a stay at home dad, who watches Kairi(our daughter) and does live streaming on Twitch. He loves working with his hands and always tries his best.
I remember when my stepdad being hit by a car on his Harley...I’m thankful he’s alive and without him, I wouldn’t have my brothers.
@@eatyourkimchi thank you guys so much!!!! I hope it works as well. You guys are major inspiration. I hope my daughter Kairi becomes great inspiration like y’all!
So sorry to hear that. You can get through this together. All the best 🌈
I recently broke up with my boyfriend because he’s able and I’m not. We got together 15 years ago & I was well back then, but for the past 5-6 years I’ve been going so downhill that I can hardly walk, I’m in constant pain, losing weight, throwing up etc and he basically just doesn’t want to deal with it anymore, he wants to go live his life which I totally get. It’s just bummed me out so much, we were engaged, he was my entire life which I know is my fault but I just feel so useless, like no one will love me again when I feel so bad. Thank you for these videos. At least I’m not alone.
It's gonna be okay. 💖
I know I’m not helping but it’s disgusting and selfish of him to just leave just because you’re unwell. You deserve someone who stays for the bad times. If one person to willing to sacrifice but the other person isn’t, one person is being selfish. The good news is you saw his true face and can now find someone who truly deserves you.
@@dbsk06 I think it's truly unfair to assume that they are a horrible and selfish person. People shouldn't feel obligated to stay in any relationship, and that sense of regret and guilt can fester into some truly toxic feelings. It is great if someone accepts the role of being a supporting partner long-term, but people are all different and can deal with different things in life. There is no shame in realising it's affecting your mental health, and needing to move on.
@@sumiaranayake i don't think thats an excuse especially if its related to an illness that is not the person's fault, a direct result of their actions within their control. how would the man feel if a woman leaves him purely because his financial situation worsens. its the same with health. theres clearly a double standard here. so if that isnt selfishness, what is it.
@@sumiaranayake Basically, I had given him a way out of it. I realised exactly what you mentioned. It’s unfair to ‘burden’ myself on someone who’s perfectly healthy, who has their own goals in life that I couldn’t possibly be a part of. I could see his unhappiness, I could feel how trapped and miserable he was becoming, he was turning resentful - and that’s not his fault either. He was conflicted and didn’t want to look like an idiot for dumping his sick fiancé just because she was gradually getting more and more sick. I finally decided to let him go and he accepted it gladly which I think was the right thing to do on my end anyway.
I’m crying literally in tears!! 😭😭😭😭 with the latest post breaks my heart! We love you and wish you guys the best! I hope we have more Martina videos and her love for the world! That’s what we need!
I need this today. My depression is finally being helped with meds and I’m still getting dips of sadness.
Try Vitamin D
I hope things continue to get better It’s so frustrating when meds and all those things that people without depression recommend turn out to not be the magic fix everyone says they are lol but hang in there!
You will. I'm on two meds for depression/anxiety & still have bad days. Today was one. My Dad passed away right before Thanksgiving & I've been dealing with the load of estate sh*t alone. So attempting to organize, & still grieving, doesn't always gel. I gave myself permission to blow off work, sit & stew. But it's back to work tomorrow.
I'm with you on that. I'm a month on Lexapro and I've noticed I don't have that deep, heavy depression feeling. But it's still frustrating when I still get the random sad moments but I guess we have to take these things one day at a time.
Anti-depressants rarely work and will make you feel worse in the long run.
Anyone else appreciating the David Bowie reference from the Labyrinth?
I was worried no one would
Comment on this 😅
@@eatyourkimchi We who got it are out there :) Luv Ya , sending a big Nasty hug your way...
The grey sweatpants are forever etched in my memory. Lol
I have two copies of this move... know all the lines, best drknking game # of times you see bowies package...
@Keksi HUH UM What, it's a movie, not real....
i love how it says in the pity party permit: tomorrow i promise to build a ladder. like it doesnt say oof getting back on track oof getting my life together, it just focuses on the emotional aspect, instead of the productivity aspect. plus the word ¨build¨ acknowledges that it is a process, that it could be finished or not, that it requires work.
this is so random but i had a dream about how much progress i made with my mental health, and you were there! you told me "you know what you just did? you built a ladder" and i woke up and cried a little 😭
🪜
That's so lovely. Thanks for sharing such a happy dream.
As a fellow EDS-er and someone who has PTSD, watching your videos have always inspired me and been a rung on my ladder. I saw you move abroad and talk about your EDS and mental health. I saw that and I kept saying to myself look at Martina she is can do it!!! She struggles sometimes but she perseveres!! You and your videos always bring a smile to my face and inspire me everyday. Thank you so much ❤️I will keep building my ladder!!!
I got a cute little ladder tattooed on my arm to remind me on those deep dark hard days to build my little ladder.
Thank you for making me smile Martina! Stay stellar!
Amazing! Another person sent me a picture of their adorable build a ladder tattoo, I have to figure out where I can put mine 🤔
@@eatyourkimchi I tagged yall a while back about the one I got done on my forearm! Highly recommend the area, I get to see it every day. Great way to actively choose to do better!
I knew from the moment you guys went back to Canada, something was wrong. Still, it didn't prepare me (or many of us) from your recent announcement. We don't know all the details but I could see that things started to get really challenging since you left SK for Japan, when your EDS was getting worse.
Life happens and it isn't all fun and games, cause it's real life but we thank you for sharing so much creative and high quality content with us, nonetheless. That chapter has closed now. I think it's time to each have your own channel. Thanks for all the memories! For what it's worth, I still hope you find each other again. But whatever happens, I'm still very grateful for everything you guys shared with us❤️
I was watching on my own, when I yelled to to boyfriend to come and watch. You are still using the coffee spoon we sent to you! I am so happy that you are using it, as it built a step for me today.
This year, I’ve adopted two kittens who were found in my backyard. This winter I’ve been having a hard time, feeling like I’ve been trapped in my house with the health situation, my depression, and my job moving to WFH (and cancelling all out travel which is like 75% of my job!) but every morning at 5:30am, this little tortoiseshell cat comes into my room and pokes at me until I get up and feed her. There’s some days I’m not sure I’d have gotten out of bed without her starting my day.
Aw I enjoyed reading this. Sending good vibes to you and your kitties
Kittens know the secret of keeping to a schedule
Cats are so wonderful. Im so happy you have two little ones supporting you and loving on you during these hard times!
let’s hope we can build more ladder rungs in 2021
Although I sort of assumed what 'Build a Ladder' meant, I didn't really know until this beautiful video. Now I feel like I have a helpful tool to get me through a January of Lockdown.
And bonus, you could actually build a ladder if you’re into woodworking 🪜 Yeah Toronto is in lockdown too, we didn’t lower our numbers. I’ll be focusing my energies on doodling and making music and videos to help me get on through it all
@Samuel Shin Dude, what the actual F?
You are both such strong individuals who will continue to be strong whether you're together or apart. I truly appreciate how calmly you have presented yourself in the last months through this and respect all of the decisions you have made. Life is a journey, none of us truly know what happens in a relationship that isn't our own, and well, sometimes things don't go as "planned". Life isn't planned or perfect but you should live it to the fullest. It's important to be true to yourself and do what is best for you, and I feel like you've done all of that brilliantly.
All my support and best wishes go out to you.
I will 100% watch whatever content you decide to make in the future. Love you guys, from a forever Nasty
Get in losers, we're building ladders! 🪜 Big love to you all, heres to grasping 2021 by the "bals" 😂
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAA
@@eatyourkimchi I'm glad that made you laugh 😂😂😂 my work here is done /leaves like tuxedo mask
I have been dealing with chronic depression and anxiety since I was 12. "Celebrate small victories." is a strategy I have heard from a couple past therapists and fellow depression patients, which relates to this approach. I love having plush toys, small toys, books with lovely covers (and greater stories) and statuettes in my home; I do art therapy through painting or colored pencil pictures and sending pics to friends/family far away too, the better to spread small bits of beauty to others. One thing I hate about interacting with others, especially optimists, is that they don't acknowledge the larger possibility of failure and life sucking than things going well (my reality with depression, and just reality in general); I like that "Build a ladder" acknowledges this and still tries to look for enjoyment in small things you CAN control in your life (Control is a big thing I either have or am losing grip on with my anxiety. It results in frequent emotional burnout, leading me to be less tolerant and more annoyed at innocuous [and mostly oblivious] actions of others that make my life worse with how sensitive I am to things.)
YAY another naughty acronym, and it has a tanuki statue picture to go with it.
I think its probably been about, 9 years since I have watched this channel. I just suddenly remembered you two existed and looked you up to see how life's treating you. Sad news, but I hope you both are looking after yourselves and move on to a brighter tomorrow.
You have no idea what this means to me. Dealing with HIV, Cancer, and Minimum wage America. I build a ladder everyday. I get to work at a hospital....where I get to feed the people that "Take care of people". I love watching Star Wars and Star Trek over and over,...oh yeah The Great British Baking Show. Plus Legos. I'm 55 and still play with Legos.
Building a ladder every day. Thank you for this.
And to everyone...DO NOT EVER APOLOGIZE for what helps you get through a tough time. You are worth EVERYTHING
stay strong 💜
This helped me! Thank you Kind soul!
I wish you the best buddy!!
Fellow EDSer, currently lying in bed unable to sleep due to painsomnia, I really needed this right now
That’s been my last two days, this shoulder is really pinching some damn nerves 😬 I hope you’ve made a painsomnia soundtrack, I add some new chill songs to mine daily just in case
There is a channel called The Honest Guys and they have several sleep stories and sleep talk downs that have helped me tremendously when my EDS and brain are both working against my sleep! They constantly remind you that you don’t need to do anything, or be asleep or try to be asleep, just participate and then all the sudden I wake up and realize that I DID fall asleep haha
I think am going to borrow that word (painsomnia) loved it is mine now I have lupus erythematosus thanks for the word lol 😝
@masakasama I have what I consider very mild hEDS. No cardiac symptoms or organ weakness, and I generally can sublux and relocate fairly easily with only the occasional day where something just refuses to “sit right.” Definitely possible to have the mild end of the spectrum (there’s a hypermobility disorder spectrum, and EDS can have a spectrum within that).
Would highly recommend finding a physical therapy office and have them check you out and how you generally move. They can help you modify things you may be doing that would make things worse later in your life, joint-wise!
@masakasama also, see if you can call around and find a doc with some knowledge or experience with EDS. Diagnoses are getting more common so you are more likely to find a doc with other patients who have EDS. Even with a mild case, it’s still helpful to have a physician that can be on the offensive and look at preventative measures vs being clueless if random symptoms arise. Internists and Rheumatologists are trained on it in med school but I’ve found plenty of dentists (I’m anesthesia resistant due to EDS), cardiologists, dermatologists & general family medicine docs who all have experience with it and it makes a world of difference. ❤️ I hope your EDS continues to stay minor and that your back stops being difficult and your arm starts behaving!!!
Yes i needed this. Just lost another pregnancy yesterday and my EDS is visiting and my prosthetic hurt so much today. I’ve always been a Spoonie but found it hard to know how to prioritize my spoons... this helps with that! Thank you! I’ll start building in the morning ☺️🪜🛠
((Hugs))
Oh so much love 💕 there is nothing like that kind of loss
I came across this comment and just want you to know that you are so strong and so loved and i just so admire your resilience! I hope you have a fantastic day!
sending love💗
Thank you Martina. Your "ladder method" changed my life, and continue to do it. At some point of my life about a year ago or so I was in my deepest deep, and then I watched your video and I related to you so much in this "suckery" then. And I started to build my ladder, and I noticed how much better my life become. I'm more calmer and accept good and bad days, appreciate every of it, and I started to be kinder to myself. I just want to tell you how much I'm grateful to you, because this little steps make my life brighter every day, and making me better me.
I used to watch you guys religiously, joined the Rainbow Ladder Support team when it was first created, was working my way through all of your old videos, and was creating a Spotify playlist of all your music recommendations.
But a year ago things started to seem different on your channel. I stopped watching as much, and left the Rainbow Ladder Support Team. A big part of that was because I was facing some very serious post partum depression, and it was too triggering to watch Martina struggling with her mental health.
Now, I see that you guys are divorcing, and I'm so sad. My husband and I have come so close to divorcing this year, and seeing a couple who I thought was invincible divorcing is so scary.
But I love you guys both so much. I will never stop caring about you guys and this weird internet psuedo relationship thing that I'm in with you guys. I sincerely wish you both the best, and though I sometimes have to step away for my own mental health, I'll never stop supporting you both. 💕
I clearly needed these words cuz my depression has been in overload, spending new years alone, wanting to be with someone but just cant. This is just... helping me in such a way, Martina. Thank you. Your existence has been such a blessing in my life since 2013. Have a wonderful new years. Love you.
i got fired today and this has quite literally turned my day around - thank you Martina
I'm sorry. I hope you're okay...
you'll find a new job soon ❤
Hope you're OK
I cried so hard the first time I got fired. I remember going into an ice cream shop and ordered a sweet waffle to make myself feel better. The card machine wouldn't work so I got it for free. It was like the universe telling me it was OK.
As someone living with severe anxiety and chronic pain while attempting to be a present parent to two young kids, a half decent employee and partner to someone also living with chronic illness, THANK YOU for being you and creating uplifting content. When I have a bad day, “build a ladder” often pops into my head and it really helps me get through.
Both my partner and her sister suffer from some pretty severe bouts of depression, and your videos on building a ladder have been what motivates them to take baby steps and continue living, to accept what's happening to them, but to not let it define them. I just wanted to thank you for all of your years of advocacy and support. You changed lives.
Power pooping - This is the way.
Martina, you are so good at explaining really tough issues in a consumable way! Thanks for helping all of us build a ladder 🥺. (P.S.- Your sweatshirts are amazing and I absolutely love your design taste!!!)
I'm heartbroken that such a wonderful loving couple have called it quits. Stay strong girl. Build a bridge straight over this downturn. 🐙
I just wanted to say, despite everything that has happened, I'm glad you've continued to make videos. I deal with chronic pain of my own and I like seeing more representation out there.
I work in mental health and substance abuse. I often have my clients watch one of your videos on building a ladder.
I also suffer from autoimmune, and often am sick. I am even a cancer survivor. When I struggle, I think of you and work to build a ladder.
Thank you do much for sharing your story!!!!
In my day we kept a gratitude journal. It truly is the small, nothing-special moments where the magic is found. A chuckling baby, a dog chasing its tail, a kid skipping off the school bus, heart-shaped sea glass. These are the things that help keep me keeping on. And the best part is they're free for the taking.
I recently started a new job and with that my social anxiety/depression has gotten so bad that Im completely drained and numb after every shift but I’ve also started finding ways to build my ladder thanks to you Martina.. reminding myself throughout my day that I want to be where I am ..I love my job so far and these sometimes overwhelming emotions are not who I truly am.. I’m an artist who loves to paint and listen to music and make friends and spend time with my pets and all these things build my ladder and keep me going. Thank you for helping me get through it all💕
Martina, I can’t thank you enough for being open about your own struggles and sharing the idea of building a ladder. It’s genuinely helped me find joy in my life again even through the lowest of low times. ❤️
This video has come at the perfect time. The last few weeks I’ve been very low despite finishing a semester from hell and making a ton of strides in my mental health. Building a ladder has been so helpful, thank you tremendously for always being so open about your struggles and showing us that we’re not alone. ❤️
I never thought about all the little things when trying to build a ladder
It allllll counts! If it was an effort, if it COULD have been an effort, then it was something you mentally battled and accomplished. HECK YES
I'd never thought about the idea of building a ladder - taking even the small things as your next step up - until I started hearing you talk about it. I'm lucky - for some reason my body keeps going about its business even when my mind doesn't care to participate. But trying to reframe things has actually been helping me build a ladder out of that too. It's helped me mentally climb out of the thought spirals of shame, punishment, etc that would rather I didn't have any happiness. So my bad days aren't quite so bad anymore. Even though I've been shy, I'm feeling more like myself now - and I'm ready to start building connections as part of my ladder. So thank you and the community you participate in.
martina, i have been dealing with crippling anxiety and depression for months now, and every day i feel like i am gonna die, disappear. i needed to come back to this video to remind myself to go easy with myself, not let my fears cripple me, but to be strong, build a ladder one little step at the time and try my best even if i fall off sometimes, it's not impossible to start building again. i hope i make it. im very scared. love you, sending many hugs your way!!
I lost my beloved cat this Monday and it sucked so much because he died in my arms after eating a rat poison (I assumed, since he marked some symptoms). I have never cried so hard losing a cat before, but maybe that's because I've never seen a cat dying right before my eyes before. It hit me really hard to lose him because I rescued him from the dumpster. I loved him very much. I buried him in the garden and my mom put some flowers on his grave. Up to now, I still cry thinking about him, and this year has been rough for my mental health. I had a lot of stress and on top of that I had to lose my cat at the end of this year. I know that this may not be applied to everyone but I think my ladder for now is my religion. I pray more sincerely now and I tell God everything I feel inside and somehow it makes me feel better. I enjoy showering now because I finally get a liquid soap that helps reducing my itchy allergic skin whenever I shower. I really hope I can build more healthier habit next year and have healthier mental health.
im sorry to hear about the loss of your cat.
I'm sorry. We lost ours on thxgiviing day (Canada) and I'm still devastated
@@joyjoyoo take your time to heal, since that's also what I'm currently doing. but remember to take care of yourself ❤️
@Sophie thank you so much. I hope you have a great day/night ❤️
My cat of 13yrs also died this year. I miss him. This year has sucked in so many ways. Next year can only get better...i hope
I really needed this video today Martina. The last week has been truly the most challenging for me in my entire life. Seeing the notification for your video and watching really broke me down. And I needed it. Thank you.
It's just so surreal that now those of us with chronic illness are somehow well placed to explain to the populace how to keep going about life when things suck and everything hurts, normally I just do life bit by bit but now I'm the experienced Yoda sharing the ways of living in crappy circumstances and being homebound and other Covid experiences. It's a weird opposite day.
I needed this so much guys. I've been part of B.A.L since day one but these last few years have been ROUGH. This year alone I got 2 new diagnosis with another mystery one going on that no one can find out what it is and it's excruciating but every time I get down in that pit you and the community help me climb right back out. Thank you all so much and know that I am so appreciative and love you all so much.
15 seconds in and you’ve already got me smiling. Thank you Martina. Hope you’re well. Love you 💜
I always appreciate and remember how far I've come whenever I look at my "build a ladder" tattoo. I still have my moments where I don't feel the best -- where I don't feel myself. But like you said, it all comes with practice. I used to depend and hope someone else can help me get out of my mental black hole. But I am so proud of myself (and all of you!) that have found a way to help yourselves in a healthy way. Keep building your ladder, everyone. Much love and well wishes to you all.
Thank you Martina for being such an example. I was feeling emotional this new year's eve. I feel quite lonely, always sad for nothing. Thank you for reminding me to be my own hero in my life 🥰✨
Martina, thank you for always being real. I really appreciate you as a creator. Seriously! You've brought me so much joy, and I can't thank you enough!
This is so aesthetically pleasing and so peaceful to watch. Makes me feel in a better place~thank you.
I hope 2021 will be a better year for you Martina 😢 Lots of love from Wales
Aw Martina, I love you and I wish nothing but the best for you. You helped me so much I felt alone in college and while I was switching majors/jobs. I continue to be inspired by you and I wish you so much happiness! 💖
THANK YOU MARTINA For being such a positive spot and Influence for all of us spoonies.
I think this reminder was really important after this dumpster fire of a year. Thanks Martina!!
I need to re watch this every morning as a reminder to be kind to myself.
Thank you Martina for not giving up!!! I love your videos! You rock girl!!!!
Today's my best friend's birthday, but she passed away four years ago. However, I have an amazing fiance. He noticed I was sad and told me he had an idea for a project, if I wanted it. He suggested I crochet sweaters for our new puppies. It was less about that they actually need sweaters and more because my fiance knows I like creating things. He just wanted to give me a rung on my ladder to try and help me out of my sadness. 💜💜
Dear Martina, I'm currently struggling with severe depression and I've always wondered what your Build a Ladder hashtag was about. Thank you very much, this is something that I needed and hearing someone put it into words makes it a lot better and more persuasive.
You are a beacon and such a gem for turning your hardships into a force that can inspire other people who are going through tough times as well. Thank you! We all have days that suck but words of encouragement from you just lights everything up. I admire your strength, truly. You've inspired me to do better too and make my own ladder. We can do it!
Honestly needed this video, ran into someone who triggered (haha) my severe anxiety, happened during a time where I was stuck with said person and another person who was injured for three days. Just got home and had a good crying session. I felt like I fell back into my pit that I spent so long building my way out of. But that’s okay, tomorrow I’m going to start over and build a ladder again. Love your videos, thank you. 💕
Redrawing my old drawings is one of the best ways to overcome my depression. As I draw, I start to reminisce the positive and happy days of my childhood.
I'm so glad I finally got to watch this. I have the floral Build a Ladder print framed and hanging over my desk. My office & my kitchen are my happy spaces and I try to fill them with things that help me build a ladder. I'm already teaching my 5 year old how to build a ladder as she has had a rough year missing out on going to kindergarten and having to be homeschooled. She loves to learn and play with other kids. I try to set a good example and really climb all the rungs I can each day. Thank you for bringing such wonderful concept to so many people. We all love you so much!
This is exactly the kind of mentality we have to have not just for 2021, but for every single day, forever!! Thank you so much for sharing with us Martina, it really does mean so much!! Keep building everybody!!!!! 🧁🌈
Martina, I just tuned in after a crazy 3 days of heavy self-loathing depression. I suffer from severe somatization/ hyperchondriac . I have not been able to smile or show any emotion during this time and i felt tired. I believe that i'm dying the moment I feel something abnormal is occuring inside me. I was looking at the worst videos self diagnosing myself with the most craziest things. I was believing that my symptoms were related to cancer. I then tuned in on your channel. I literally smiled and felt warm and started crying because your energy was able to fill me up with happiness. Thank you Martina for making my day.
I actually just dyed my hair black with my mom and I was finally able to get one of the king logo shirts! I have really been struggling the most this year as I did back when I was 26 when I first got diagnosed with EDS. That was a hard year as well. I feel like I'm in a good headspace though since I started doing therapy years ago. I feel like even though I have really bad years I still cope better every year than I did the year before because I have better coping skills and I think getting yourself out of your head and just doing things that you love is probably one of the most important things to do when trying to build a ladder. Whether it's your body or your mind pushing you down you just have to believe in yourself and believe that you can get yourself out of there if you just do something that makes you smile even for a little bit it's one of those things where every little thing counts. You are the reason I have always been able to move forward because I always think well Martina would try to build a ladder so I will try and do that too. because of build a ladder I have been able to push through a lot of difficult times including right now. I am going through s family emergency now with my husband family but I am still going to push through and listen to my body and try to build a ladder everyday because it works and I thank you so much for bringing it to light and helping people being able to realize they can build a ladder even on their darkest days.
This is the perfect video for the end of the year. It just feels like a hug to continue pushing through. Ive been trying to make a career for myself for soooo long and it brings me so much sadness seeing im not where I wanna be. Your ladder concept truly is a great way to live day by day and not loosing those small moments that truly build a better life. Luv you Martina!
I'm so inspired by you, Martina! There's something to be said for someone who faces their challenges with such grace, positivity, and determination. Keep building that ladder, girlie. We're all here to support you!
BaL Squad represent!!! Thank you for explaining the awesomeness of BuildaLadder and for making it an essential part of my daily life :)
BAL Buddies!
I now realized how much 2020 took a toll on me...and how many “pity gloomy party” days I went through without even acknowledging it...
So yeah, 2021 is going to be creating better habits for my body and my mental ☺️
I’m also gonna try to wear at least one shiny item a day (make up, earrings, nail polish), because sparkles baby !!!
✨ ✨✨
I wish you the best ladder for 2021 Martina !
💕
Martina, I’ve been following your channel for years. Because of you, I am now trying to build my ladder every day. Conscious gratitude is life changing!
I feel like I always pop over and see your videos when I need them most. Thanks Martina. Keep building. We will too.
To listen to this and hear that you are Simon are separating breaks my damn heart. I wish you all the happiness 😭
Wait what? They're separating? They're having a divorce?
@@stormy5452 looking at their IG post, yeah. 😔
Yes
Love the concept of build a ladder. Mine is wonky and crooked but I try to focus on building it anyway, and it really does make things better
Living vicariously watching you climb out of your pit helps me smile and start my ladder. Thank you Martina💗
Martina!! this couldn't be more true!! as a fellow chronic, and depressed fellow myself, taking small steps and appreciating my day by bit really truly helps knock away the sad feelings. my room is covered in posters and lights and things that make me smile. you really do inspire me to keep climbing, ive watched you since 2016 and you've gotten me through some of my darkest times. Thank You for sharing such a wonderful and positive video to welcome the new year!
I had a self harm relapse during christmas and got burnt out during the holidays. But I have cleaned my room and i am picking up new pet rats today for me to keep as emotional support animals :)
I can relate (:
That is so cool that you got your own emotional support now. Hope you are feeling better.
When I'm at my lowest mentally & physically, I just watch my favorite childhood TV shows! I don't know what it is but watching something pure, funny, and nostalgic just brings me back to my happy place.
I’ve literally had the worst time in the past month with my chronic pain and it’s thrown me down into depression, so this came at such an amazing time. Thank you Martina 💕
Hey Martina! I suffer with Chronic Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety and Fibromyalgia, Asthma, IBS and PCOS and many days I am also in a deep pit and I just can't pull myself out. I also love miniatures and they help me feel better. I love that you came up with a word for this ideology that no matter how bad things are...no matter how deep the pit is...there is always a way out of the hole. Rung by rung we can climb out, and we can do it by ourselves! May 2021 hold health, wealth, and good fortune for you my dear!
"your worth is not measured by your productivity." as someone struggling to pass the CPA exam during these times on top of working long hours, i really needed that. thank you.
Dude. I'm an accounting major and I've been told by different professors that the CPA exam is harder than the Bar exam. Keep your head up, you've got this!
@@br33anoia4321 thank you!! c: i'm also an accounting major, and currently working ;_; busy szn incoming! ㅠㅠ
i just wanted to come back here to say that i was able to finish passing all 4 exams 🥰 thank you martina for the words of wisdom that helped me throughout these past few months!
I love this a lot more than the spoon theory! I almost feel like spoons are limiting whereas building a ladder is empowering and encouraging! I'm going to start using this for my chronic illnesses in this coming year!! Sending love and light always!~
100% agree that spoons seem like limits. helpful so you dont over do it, but limiting when you never try for more. i wish you luck on the build a ladder challenge, you can do it ! :)
So grateful for this video and how helpful it is to get advice from someone so strong and sincere.
I adore you! It is hard, so hard to climb out of sucky days, especially when you have an 'invisible illness'. PCOS and PTSD weight on my health. But when I can complete goals I set out for myself it's magical, even if that goal is small or seems silly to someone else. I have been watching your videos for a long time and I continue to learn more and more. I know it takes work to build a ladder. So thank you Martina for sharing this with us, because it takes a lot of energy to make these videos and because you discovered something and choose to light up the lives of others by sharing it with us. Thank you Thank you Thank you for all you do.
This went straight to my heart.
Anyone here after seeing their latest insta post? ☹️
Me 😭🥺
Yup
😔
Yep.
Yea
I keep coming back to your videos about depression and chronic pain when I am in a slum, I hope you know how much your videos mean
I love this video! Thank you Martina. I think many people had to hear this. It is okay to feel and not be okay but you can’t let that hold you back. Keep your head up and remember tomorrow will be a better day. You cannot have yesterday hold you back. There is always tomorrow!
Hi, Simon and Martina! Happy New Year! Sending you this message to let you know that I appreciate your videos and I always look forward to the next one.
I appreciate how much she enjoys turning on all those lights, I thought I was the only one who gets charged up by lights (my lighting is candles though ♥)