Scammers try to steal bank card (Scambaiting with The Major)

Scammers (working from home) repeatedly phone me in an attempt to steal my bank debit card, so I see how much of their time I can waste with my silly British sense of humour… and I was surprised quite how long this one went on for. Chapter marks below. If you can't face the whole thing but just want a few highlights, Call 01 sets the scene while Calls 13 and 20 went particularly well from The Major's point of view. Calls have been edited to remove identifying information and long periods on hold. AI usage involves creation of images with Midjourney/Photoshop, but not words or audio.
00:00:00 Intro
00:01:29 Call 01 - Michael from the Fraudulent Department of Lloyds Bank tells The Major to post his Bank Debit Card to a Money Mule
00:28:43 Call 02 - Peter from the Letter Department of Lloyds says the card hasn’t arrived yet
00:39:15 Call 03 - Michael calls again to find out why the card hasn’t arrived
00:42:55 Call 04 - We meet Brian, who tells The Major to post his card to a different Money Mule, but then sends The Major to withdraw some cash first
01:08:09 Call 05 - Brian chases up; The Major introduces Mr Khan from the Post Office, and plays the first round of Don’t Cut The Card
01:14:21 Call 06 - Brian phones again, this time calling himself Michael, and gets The Major to activate his new card by withdrawing some cash
01:22:46 Call 07 - Brian is back to calling himself Brian, and tries to use the same Money Mule address; The Major protests and plays another round of Don’t Cut The Card
01:49:01 Call 08 - Brian immediately chases up
01:49:47 Interlude - Another set of scammers phones The Major
01:58:25 Call 09 - Brian phones as Michael to check The Major posted the card; The Major describes his call from the other scammers
02:04:51 Call 10 - Brian-Michael calls; The Major claims that his old card was returned to him and points out the Mule’s address was a private house
02:18:11 Call 11 - Brian-Michael elicits The Major’s full card number and CVV
02:25:23 Call 12 - Brian-Michael gets The Major to activate his card by withdrawing some cash again
02:29:44 Call 13 - Brian-Michael tells The Major to post his card to a third Money Mule, whose address triggers The Major’s memory of one of his past adventures; The Major embarks on a final round of Don’t Cut The Card
02:48:21 Call 14 - Brian-Michael calls again so I put him off
02:48:46 Call 15 - Brian-Michael gets The Major to confirm the Mule’s address; The Major winds him up again
02:51:23 Call 16 - Brian-Michael gets The Major to confirm the address again and commands him to post the card
02:57:45 Call 17 - The Major tells Brian-Michael he couldn’t post it
03:00:46 Call 18 - Brian-Michael calls to make sure The Major posted the card
03:09:19 Call 19 - Brian-Michael seems to have forgotten The Major has already posted the card
03:11:38 Call 20 - The original Michael phones and we come full circle; The Major finally vanquishes these scammers with the power of a few paragraphs from his memoirs

[@robertdalrymple1265]

Put them behind the prison ?

[@palimpsest2011]

Well, the prisons are full already! And I think we can trust criminals like Mary Jones, Olive Brownlow, and "that lady" to do the decent thing and not run away when they are put behind the prison.