Your videos have helped me more than anything in working through the challenges of ADHD. Looking back at my life before I found your channel, I was struggling so much to fully understand how to manage my symptoms and a lot of things were falling apart. Since I've found your channel, I feel less crazy, more validated, and more in control of my mind than I ever have before. It is not an exaggeration to say that your videos have significantly changed my life for the better and I cannot thank you enough for the impact you've had on me. ❤
the "five minutes or five years" comment hit hard. I've literally procrastinated on a thing for years that I think about every day, and it's not even that hard, I just...
i really hate it too... i mean, the teacher is obviously just trying to be friendly and nice but then, after several months of not having completed it, they’ll either get super mad about it, or tell you that you don’t have to do it anymore which is an AWFUL habit to make.
i almost started crying when she said people with ADHD see people getting things done and start to think "maybe i am just lazy" bc I really think that at times and its hard not to feel that way ):
I totally agree. In fact, I am so frustrated with myself that i even tell people I am lazy or my quirky work-around is the 'lazy man's' method to do it! I have 'embraced, in a way, that people find me lazy.
but then are those people who need to hear that going to be watching this video so they can hear it from someone else?? If I tell someone that I know I need to do something, they respond with: "Then get it done!"
Rewards as an adult haven’t worked for me. Me: if I do the thing I can have a cookie Brain: or you can have a cookie now and do it later Me: can’t argue with that logic
Same, but worse LOL Brain: I’ll have a cookie anytime I damn well please. I don’t have to freaking *earn* a cookie or anything else!! HELP! What to do about this??
Try having someone else give the reward! I personally would do anything for the sticker chart 😂 a new sticker everyday, I know if I didn’t have anyone to initiate that for me and help me along than id probably just put the stickers on my laptop or hoard them all.
I really LOVE that you say that! My psychiatrist tried to push that method upon me. I always said exactly what you said, but he didn't understand. He basically "fired" me after a while. He said he couldn't help me. After reconsideration I kind of figured out: yes, he was right. He was a hack. Now I'm a few years later and still in the VERY same mess.
"don't waste time trying to tell someone how important it is that they get IT done. They know." That was so incredibly validating that I stopped eating my lunch and cried. I want to get it done. So bad. I want to do a top-notch job, want to be effective, want to care for people well, but sometimes it's so hard to get myself from point a to point b. When folks tell me, "just get it done" it is so anxiety-producing and stirs up such difficult thinking in my head.
I'm now crying, I feel the same way. Next week I have this exam, it's the conclusion exam of my 5 years of high school. I'm proud for what I have accomplished and I want to study for the exam but I'm so not motivated, I'm so bored, I don't even know what to do. I'm so tired of my brain not working like everyone's elses. Thats so frustrating, my mum is helping me but she is also telling me "it's very important, don't waste the last 5 years!!" I know it is. Its not that, I know more than anyone how important it is, I just find it so hard to get it done
It’s such a weird feeling personally because I don’t even understand it sometimes how I want to be good at my job working from home and provide for my wife, but sometimes the motivation is just not there and it’s a very weird feeling because I’ve done it before and had plenty of success before
POV: you’re watching this as you’re procrastinating and seeking motivation to get the job done 🥺 These videos always make me cry, and they’re immensely helpful. Thank you.
They make me tear up to. Before these videos, it's like I felt the world isn't built for me, and I am not built for my culture or surrounding community.. I never understood how the world doesn't understand me... Almost as though seeing these videos helped me face a subconscience fear.... that maybe I've made up these scenarios or challenges I face... to explain why I'm not always productive in this world. Watching these videos makes me cry because it makes that's a part of ME real.... and that helps... acceptance and understanding helps take away a barrier Sigh of relief
literally what I'm doing right now and this video made me cry because I just haven't been able to understand why I have such a lack of motivation and now that I know some ways to overcome it I feel like I can actually meet my goals I'm so happy.
The problem with procrastination/urgency is that while you're finally doing the thing, you're simultaneously regretting that you didn't start the thing sooner because you would do such a better job of it if you had. I really like the idea of breaking the thing down into smaller pieces with different deadlines.
omg LITERALLY! i spent weeks struggling to make progress on my assesments, now that the deadline is a few days away, my sense of urgency is motivating me, but i'm so incredibly stressed and keep wishing i had this motivation before ahh 😭
There’s also the “rush” you get with the sense of urgency followed by feelings of immense relief when the task is finally completed. You don’t get the same adrenaline and dopamine hits from doing things in a timely manner.
For me the problem is almost the opposite.. because I procrastinate and get things done anyways, it makes it easier to justify the procrastination because "I always get it done in time in the long run"
I’m at a point where nothing works. I can’t trick my brain because it knows I’m lying to it and it doesn’t care about anything. I feel like i’m just watching life pass by while my adhd drives and I’m just in the passengers seat.
it might be time to invest in seeking therapy from a ADHD specialist?? thats what i'm looking into now cause i feel the same as you. ADHD feels crippling at this point.
Speaking of deadlines, I believe the receptionist at my dentist has cottoned on to the fact that I'm always late for appointments (in typical ADHD fashion) and now tells me it's an earlier time when actually it's booked for later. That way, when I'm inevitably late, I'm actually still on time. I can't know for sure as neither of us has brought it up, but now when I'm on time there's a conspicuous wait before I'm called, which never used to happen. I love her for that.
I've asked my family to start doing this with me. If I'm ever "on time" for a family function there is something seriously off, because I'm inevitably ALWAYS late. I have always misjudged how long it takes to do something or how long it takes to get somewhere. Even with GPS, I underestimate or lie to myself about how long it's really going to take depending on the time of day. With appointments now when I book them I put them in my phone calendar as 15-30 minutes EARLIER than the actual appointment time to trick myself into being on time.
@@stocktawk poor time management and becoming overwhelmed with the steps it takes to get ready for events (even something that’s seems simple like a dentist appointment) is indeed a trait of ADHD.
I honestly started to cry when the brain was struggling to get over the bridge and the average person couldn't see the missing planks from their perspective. You captured that often un-nameable and unexplainable feeling so well
This really stung. As a university student, I was struggling badly with ADHD but I managed to push through, such as completing a project report set for a month and just a night, and was able to meet deadlines with stressed-out late-night work now in my master's I can't get myself to do anything, and now I am moths behind on my progress.
It made me cry when the little ADHD brain teared up after crossing the bridge. I have a 65 year old ADHD brain that often got lost on the way to the bridge. One thing I learned (very late unfortunately) is to concentrate on getting better at what you are good at rather than wasting your life trying to match a neurotypical stereotype. ❤️
Helane Steinmüller WE know so very well w h y the brain teared up after crossing the bridge..... I (67) did not get a diagnosis so far but since June ( a BBC reporter spoke about her ADHS and my brain signalled: This is US, too.) I am a much more relaxed person, telling ( almost proudly, because of feeling so free of SHAME and GUILT *NOW* ) people : 😉 I do what I can, being an ADDer ...; or I say: "Well, that was because of my ADDism and laugh " But I will try to find a specialist. Not easy in Berlin.
More like a brick wall to me. Even if I want to do something, I just can't. And the more I try it feels like squeezing my skull and brain against that wall
When it dawned on me that my “effortless” grades were not sufficient for going abroad, so here I am in my masters trying my best and putting in work. Also I heard it was hard so I said why not.
Thanks for mentioning that artificial deadlines don't always work. Setting "intentions" and writing them in a calendar or telling other people about them is such a common recommendation for productivity, but I have gotten so used to setting little goals and then NOT meeting them over time that I think it's actually damaged the motivation that urgency is supposed to give me. Not meeting deadlines feels so natural and inevitable to me at this point that it barely registers. Instead of giving myself a million finish lines and revising them constantly, I need to keep my expectations of what I can get done by when loose, and focus on making the actual work easier or more accessible. A helpful thing for me has been shutting down extraneous goals or barriers to starting. I don't HAVE to shower before I go run errands, and as soon as I start telling myself I do, I've basically lost my whole day. Whatever way I get the thing done is okay, and little rules I create for myself about how I need to accomplish something are just barriers to doing the thing.
Yeah aryificial deadlines dont work a lot for me either... Paying 50 buvks for each day I don't do my public speaking training to a friend that was motivating!! Sticks work better for me now. 🙈😜
God the bridge metaphor hits really hard. I've always had a hard time explaining "I just can't make myself do things...", People don't understand. With that metaphor it's more that I CANT do things because what I need to do them is missing, not that I _wont._ not that I'm not putting in the effort or that I'm not trying or that I gave up. Thank you
B-atiful! same here! my friends and i have been trying to do work together over quarantine and i stopped showing up to our video calls because i wasn’t actually doing the work during the previous video calls because even with them there, i struggled to just do it
It’s hard! I plan and want to do something in the house, try to pump myself up and end up sitting and “dazing “ getting mad at myself. Like right now, I need to get something done, but here I am looking at videos!!🙄🙄😞
Same here. Thousands of times I’ve had something that I need to do, something I truly, desperately WANT to do, but I simply can Not do it. It could be something as simple as doing the dishes, or doing some laundry, cleaning, or anything really. It’s not just someone else saying, “clean your room”, and me thinking, “no, I don’t want to”. It’s me really, Really wanting to, but being absolutely unable to. It’s infuriating!
@@canine_coach The word “literally” in this context adds the inference that crying is probably not an expected reaction for the writer. Also, think of the phrase, “I was floored by…” (an internal, emotional response) as compared to, “I was literally floored by…” (as in, found myself on the floor). I hope this is helpful.
I'm with you on this. A close friend how much on the possibility of me having ADHD, more learn, the more easy it is to accept and correct. But sometimes the realization is overwhelming.
I was diagnosed with ADD at 50 (non-hyperactive, so I flew under the radar for years). I developed a lot of coping strategies over the years, but I still struggle with motivation for tasks that are unscheduled, not urgent, or don't have a short-term reward. This bridge analogy is great; I think it will help a lot. The main strategy I use is split-tasking. I jump around between tasks at a rate most people would find confusing, but for me it helps make incremental progress. It doesn't help much with very long-term discretionary projects, though; I have between 20 and 30 novels in various stages of completion.
Do you jump between tasks of different projects or different tasks of the same project. I‘m asking myself what would be better for out brains: try hard to stay focused on one project and doing it until finished or maybe switching between 2-3 projects to make them less lengthy, repetitive and boring….🤔 I was always afraid of getting distracted if not being focused on one thing, but now I saw this video I‘m not shure anymore if this is exactly what an ADD brain needs to get things done.
It's such a double edged sward for me. On one hand, it limits the added anxiety of failure, messing up especially at work but on the other hand it's like 'fine. next year it is then'
lmao I rewrote this macro to "turn it in ASAP" to avoid that problem and occasionally confused people when I reacted to what should be a lenient choice with annoyance
i have a university exam the day after tomorrow and I have been procrastinating the study since now. This of coursehappened before and had me struggle a lot trought my academic career. This video alone helped me a lot to exit the vortex of depression I was going trough rn, thanks a lot
“It’s okay to cycle back to your hobbies.” Insanely helpful to hear. I always feel like a failure when I don’t do a little bit of every one of my hobbies every day. The messaging out there is always: if you really want to get better you have to do it every day. Hellooooo feeling of failure! Then I realized when I pick up my banjo for the first time in a year, I haven’t forgotten a thing and I’m the same skill level I was when I stopped. Nothing lost. I’m not a failure. I just pick up where I left off.
Same here! I never stick to anything for too long and it used to make me feel so useless, I thought "I have friends who have done one thing for many years (whether that's a sport or instrument etc.), why can't I?" (plus my parents really wanted me to "just pick something and stick to it") but now I realise it's okay to change hobbies a lot and seek novel experiences and it's much better to go along with what my brain wants to do rather than try and fight it and force myself to stick to something until I'm completely bored and end up hating it
Everything you said I have felt so hard. I picked up my guitar maybe 5 years later, beat myself up about not playing. And though it was physically painful on my fingers, I was shocked to be able to still do everything.
@@1129buttons That's amazing! I'm happy to hear that. I was the same way, fingers needed to build up a bit of skin but at least the muscle memory was still there
Does anyone else find themselves openly weeping while watching these videos that are not supposed to be at all emotional? Having someone illustrate so many of the struggles so vividly and accurately, after 40+ years of feeling like no one else experiences things like this... is just a bit overwhelming. thank you for putting all this content out. seriously... Thank you
Yes but not as much as the autism videos I watched learning that I'm autistic. Now this is helpful and I am crying a little, but it's not as intense. That initial understanding of ourselves is so intense and incredible!
Once I became more empowered with my ADHD and stopped guilting/shaming myself, these videos made me smile and no longer cry. You WILL find your way that works for you, keep having faith in yourself and love yourself through every perpetual "fail". Remind yourself, "That was the best I could do today. I love me". Our gifts of this different brain are needed in this world, don't put out your Light 🌟🙏💗
I was diagnosed with ADHD by my psychiatrist THIS YEAR at age 41. I immediately found your channel and it was an "ah hah!" moment. You explain everything I've gone through my whole life that I was always told was laziness. I have 100 alarms (literally) on my phone to remember to do things, like get in the shower, pick up the kids, leave for work, take medication, go to bed, pay that bill! The alarms are never ending. People coming over is definitely a motivation for cleaning, until too many people come over and I start making excuses why the floor doesn't need to be mopped again this week or the laundry can be thrown in the other room out of site. My mom helping me do things like clean the garage are often the only way certain things will get done. My husband has worse ADHD than me and won't set a single alarm to help him remember...anything. It's obnoxous. I'm high anxiety so just people judging me is a motivation. I totally agree about people saying "no rush" is terrible. Clients will tell me that thing they want is "no rush" and it falls to the bottom of my inbox until they email me again for an update. I need deadlines, and I'll likely still do it the day it's due unless I'm having a really good day. For college (yep I'm trying college again) I have a fear of a B! That's my motivation to study hard, even the boring stuff like humanities. It's always worked for me, even in high school, but I was a little less OCD in high school about A's, I would often settle for a B if it meant not working as hard and papers definitely got written the night before they were do. Thanks for your great videos! Definitely helps me feel more normal and understood!
When I'm struggling with reading, especially for school or study, I start reading out loud with different voices. It helps to keep me engaged and also gives me some associative memory for what I'm reading.
Let me tell you about my boss. My boss in the how many years I have worked for them, it has given me maybe three compliments. No wonder I hate my job. It's boring and I'm not good at it. And then I was trying to diplomatically tell my boss that I need more encouragement and acknowledgement when I do a good job because there are times when I do a really great job. And I told my boss about how when I was going to school and I was struggling very much with the subject, when I had a teacher that encouraged me and motivated me, every single class where that happened, I ended up getting an 'A' in the class. My boss simply didn't get it. I always do well when someone gives me a compliment
...Change the job if you can. My Boss knows I have ADHS and I told him that telling me I have done great gives my lots of motivation. He always tells me I am doing great with the tasks given to me (which I am :D) and it's really good for my work quality.
I always glow with pride when I get a “well done!” from my teacher, but for some reason when my mom tells me that, I just... brush it off. I don’t know if maybe that’s just not my love language, or I subconsciously feel like she doesn’t mean it, or if it’s something else entirely, but for me, only certain people’s compliments help me.
Reilly Lafreniere Ahh, words of affirmation can be very powerful! Usually the people who are fuelled by words of affirmation, are the ones that deliver it the most. However, the people that are more socially intelligent are the ones that will deliver motivators specific to a certain individual, even if it’s not a style that works on themselves; these are the people that are amazing employers, leaders & mentors!
Irelynd Henry Are you referring to a specific teacher or any of your teachers? Perhaps you really admire your teachers and therefore hold their opinions of your abilities very highly. Perhaps you feel your mom doesn’t know enough about a task you’ve done ( hasn’t read it or etc), so you feel that her acknowledgment or comments of tasks don’t carry a true value. Perhaps your mother more often criticizes you, than praises you, thereby generating a response that dismisses and devalues any praise from your mum. Either way, I suggest just saying “thank you” to your mom, when she does acknowledge something she thinks you’ve done well on or something you’re proud of.
ADHD and Motivation - small daedlines - time will pass and never comeback again (more busy in the future) - shame free - make it novel ( new enviro- new ways- cycle hobbies- weird rewards) - make it personally interesting - short term small rewards - get curious about what's missing and fill the blank
Recently, I've started to listening to audiobooks while walking/jogging, and I only let myself listen to the story while _on_ my walk. So if I'm listening to a really good book, I end up actually motivating myself to go walking because I want to know what's going to happen next! I know it's a pretty small thing, it's just walking, but as someone who hates exercise it's really been helping me out!!
This is a wonderful idea! I have the opposite problem where I don't know how to make time to listen to audiobooks because I get too focused on what I'm doing to pay attention to the story. Maybe I should start going on walks!
Paige McNinch Thats why I started doing this in the first place actually!! I needed to start walking and I missed listening to audiobooks! Its also really nice because walking's not distracting enough to take over your brain's attention, and if you're listening to the right book the ambience of wherever you're walking really adds to the experience (Ive been listening to a small town mystery while I walk around my small town which makes it so much spookier and cool!!)
Podcasts and audiobooks are pretty much the only way I can ‘get in the groove’ for tons of tasks (laundry, dishes, snow shoveling...). It keeps my brain from wanting to bail early, and provides a good source of BYO (“bring your own”) stimulation. Only problem? It doesn’t always encourage me to be quick with the task. For time-sensitive things, I sometimes use audio content as timers/deadlines (this task must be done by the time this podcast/playlist is over. I even use a (music) playlist in the mornings that provides subtle prompts for my getting ready routine (by Song X I should be brushing my teeth; by Song Y I should be heading out the door). One favourite for mornings (especially for difficult parts of the routine like waking up or leaving on time) is “My Shot” from Hamilton. I find it energizing and motivating. :)
I've started listening to podcast while I do the dishes. Music itself wasn't cutting it anymore. It's much more tolerable listening to a podcast about history.
My mom is always confused as to why and can't just "do it" and I always thought I was a lazy idiot so i literally started sobbing when i watched this, it feels so good to have someone understand
I know a lot of lazy idiots. They are just lazy idiots. Is "not wanting to be a lazy idiot" a motivating plank? Does the excuse of knowing I have ADHD remove motivational planks? Yep. That's why I think it does no good to label people. Everybody is different. I think these obscure undefinable mental "disorders" are detrimental. Oh don't get mad at poor me, I have ADHD....
That statement about 'not giving deadlines can make things harder for those with ADHD' really spoke to me. Had a professor who made everything due by the end of the semester. I got to the last couple weeks of the semester and hadn't done hardly anything. Especially when you throw depression into the mix, it's really difficult.
I am a college teacher WITH ADD/ADHD. I consciously don't distribute due dates over the semester any more b/c I know that people NEED to develop a strategy to manage their resources - one that fits their brains needs. People learn from failures more than from successes. Getting a bleeding nose in university has a *much* smaller negative impact on people's lives than getting fired from your first job because you can't manage yourself.
As a 30-something year old with a socially "respectable" profession, I was so ashamed of my personalized little sticker chart I spent time on every day while trying to build at-home habits- (an absolute nightmare!!) And I was battling both pride and shame when I'd show it to others. It is so nice to hear that sticker charts got a shout-out in the video!! I found that no commercial stickers were interesting enough, so I color and cut tiny pieces of paper out and use clear tape- BOOM! Any printable or drawn design is now a sticker! For extra large ones, clear packing tape is a huge success. Just remember to be careful!
Making DIY stickers sounds super fun! Also would probably be a quick and easy activity to do as a short break from work. Stuff like this is so helpful to read about though, seriously, thank you for sharing. I’m in my first year at Uni (only diagnosed at the end of last year), and I’ve been looking for ways to motivate myself, trying and struggling to understand how to live with ADHD and medication lol. I love journaling, but haven’t done it recently since I love to spend hours doing it, but that’s hours I should be spending on Uni assignments. I feel like sticker charts would be a good way to get that quick fix of motivation and reward, and do something fun!
oh, same. Quarantine has been terrible for my studies. Online lecture that you're meant to watch "sometime in the week" is... never going to get watched. Assignment officially due next week, but the teacher says don't worry if it's late? Not going to get done until the end of term. I know that for some people these things have made it much easier but I wish teachers would understand that for some of us they really really don't.
*me watching this while in bed with 25 things on my to do list and 0 motivation, feeling depressed and frustrated* This video came at the perfect time, thank you
Once I went to bed, trying to sleep. And my brain went crazy. With one thought only. The same thought all of the time. Kept me awake for at least an hour. Wanna know what that thought was? "Don't think about anything or you won't sleep!" in all possible variations!
same I'm trying to stay in this really good school and my grades are terrible and my ADHD gave me severe depression and social distancing made it worst (all though I'm an introvert) and I just AGDHSHHDHS
Remember how your emotions shift - you will be ok... and then you will be able to implement some of these ideas! I am 62 and still learning - but this is the best information I have ever received here on this channel!
Omfg I'm about to cry. The amount of times I've been told I'm lazy is too numerous to count. I actually finally freaked out on my boyfriend and told him if he ever calls me lazy again I'm leaving. I just don't need to hear it anymore, even in a joking way, it's so discouraging.
I would tell him to watch these videos. People who say this (even jokingly) don't understand us and these videos will help a lot in starting to understand us. I can explain it so many times and in so many ways but people don't grasp what I mean when I do so. Nowadays I just tell them to go to this channel and watch at least 3 videos with the topics they get frustrated by when it comes to me.
Been happily married 24 years. I am dealing with several losses right now including my 87 year old mother who has a brain injury from a car accident, and my most constant buddy died in November... he was a collector of stuff and the final bits of stuff that was his is in boxes on any floor of this 950-sq ft house we could find. My hubby does things quickly... he doesn’t agonize about decisions. Every little item in the boxes is a decision my friend can’t make himself. One day I broke down and said “If I can do it, I do... I love to work, I love accomplishing things. If I say I can’t, I really, truly, can’t.” And he finally got it.
"I tend to get bored of my hobbies really quickly..." YOU ARE IN MY BRAIN...so far this quarantine I've dabbled in web site design, electronics, robotics, programming, gardening, amateur radio, home improvement, aquatics, 3D printing, and guitar...and that was last week so who knows what I'll get into this week... Thank you for the videos, they are really helpful in making me feel like a regular human being again.
I suddenly got obsessed with fungus growing. You can buy the kits online and like a potted plant they''re clean enough to watch them grow mushrooms in your kitchen lol.
Patrick Snyder LMAOOO same here!! the one thing that has kinda stuck with me was minecraft, which i’ve been playing daily from 8-10pm with my friends and there’s a lot of different things to do within it, and it’s nice to talk to my friends too so it’s quite entertaining. lately it’s been a little boring though and i don’t know how to make it more fun and exciting again-
I've given up trying new hobbies because I know it won't stick. I just play video games now. The only thing that has stuck with me is gardening, and even that is starting to fall off.
Can I suggest - for those of you who want to stick to hobbies and make it 'your thing', find one with a community and solo component. Eg. dancing, calisthenics, art classes, music groups, archery, model planes, mountain biking etc etc - take a friend, make a friend, go once a week. It's also something you can work on at home with youtube videos. If the hobby has a few different rewards to it (social, novelty, physical stimulation, skills progressions) you're more likely to stick to it. Otherwise, if you like to cycle through hobbies like many of us do, buy the equipment second-hand in good condition or buy it new and keep it in good condition. That way, when you're bored of it in days/weeks/months/years you can sell it and get your money back on it. Or rent the stuff first to get a feel for it.
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD after years of thinking I was unmotivated, unintelligent or just flat out lazy. Seeing the videos on this channel, and realizing that other people go through the exact same struggles I do has been a huge help for me.
You described my own struggle and it's so validating. I was diagnosed this year (very recently) and I've spent decades thinking I was everything you described. I was relieved and angry when I found out because of the support I could've received and the grace I could've given myself years, letting myself know that it's not my fault. Better late than never I guess but still. Thanks for sharing. 💜
I totally agree. I am finding this out very late in life and while I wish I knew it earlier, I am happy I understand what's behind the personal challenges.
i've thought i was just depressed for years, but then i finally started antidepressants, and they didn't really... do anything. like i think they helped my mental attitude a little bit, but i still lacked motivation to do the things i wanted to. and i was worried that i was actually just lazy. but i've recently discovered that ADHD also has a motivation problem, and i'm thinking that might be the real issue, that may have even caused my depression. i'm hoping to see if i can get evaluated soon, and get some medication and therapy, i can start being a functional person.
In one adorable 7 min video, you perfectly explained every single failed project I've ever started in my entire 42 years, and the subconscious ways that I fixed the projects I completed. My mind is significantly blown right now.
I can explain how relieved I was when I found out that this was caused by my adhd and not bc I didn’t care. For years I thought the reason I couldn’t just sit down and do my home work was bc I just lacked the proper motivation and i continued to think that when I got into high school and tried to start doing things that will make me more prepared for a good future only to fail at it every time. I’ve been diagnosed with adhd since kindergarten but until that year ended and I tried to sit down with all my might and just study for my SAT bit by bit every day I finally realized something wasn’t right. So I finally reasearched if adhd has an affect on us other than just our ability to focus and remain calm. I have such a low self esteem over this bc it’s easier to see when you’re not able to get something done bc you’re not able to focus and hear what the teachers saying. But it’s so much harder to realize it’s not your fault when it comes to motivation, bc it can often feel like we really don’t care. “And if you really DID a care you would have done it by now.”
It's actually the opposite - caring is a big part the problem. Unimportant stuff is often easy to do. Vacuum the carpet? No problem. I try to reduce the amount I care - just enough to make a hole in the wall, not so much that I can't be bothered.
This speaks volumes to me. Recently, I’ve been noticing how my struggles have gotten worse in spite of how increasingly hard I have been trying. I‘ve contacted a GP in regard to what makes things so difficult for me, initially enquiring about a different diagnosis. When the doctor had a look at the list of what I’ve been experiencing, he said it could actually be ADHD, not what I’d thought. My initial inner reaction was “HA, impossible!” and it was very much based on a stereotypical and shallow understanding of ADHD, but the more I research, the more I seem to understand how I work... It’s safe to say that I am now pursuing getting tested and finding techniques that work for me in the process.
Same, probably because I never let anyone see what was going on in my brain. I guess i’d rather stress myself out instead of people telling me “Focus” “Work harder” “Stop being lazy”
No one ever thought I did until a couple years ago, at which point we realized my brother's had dramatically overshadowed mine when we were kids, because they presented differently (he had a lot of behavioral symptoms and I didn't), and I didn't know enough about what it actually was to say "I think I also have it". Once I learned about it, a lot of pieces feel into place in my brain puzzle.
For me, the important things to building my bridge are: - Knowing the “why?” of the task. What is the impact? - Knowing how to picture a vision of “done”. - Believing I have a path to “done” - Knowing how to recognize signs of incremental success. - Actually seeing incremental successes along the way. - understanding the world better incrementally as I go along. As a programmer: Test-Driven Development is great!
Hey Jessica, I started watching your videos just a few days ago, and I just want to say that your channel has changed my life. I'm in college right now, and I have been since 2016, and oh my goodness it has been an uphill battle from the very beginning (and that hill has only gotten steeper). I've developed at least 2 mental health conditions and multiple traumas, so as you can imagine the suffering has bern overwhelming for years. I've seriously thought of giving up on my dreams. However, these videos have given me info that can seriously change this battle I've been fighting with college. So thank you so much for giving me enough hope to keep going.
The discovery of this channel had made me cry more than once, because of how much I relate. I always thought it was my fault, I was not motivated, I was not smart enought or good enough, I always put it on me. I've only watch a couple of your videos, because I only found you a week ago, but you have show me so much and I appreciate you putting your self out there and showing every one what its like to have ADHD. Your Ted talk was so amazing and I really just love you for showing me steps to reach my potential.
One of the simplest ways to make a task novel is to do something novel and the task at the same time. Podcasts and audiobooks are my secret for cleaning and other chores. Listening to new stories while doing the same old laundry means that it doesn't feel nearly as boring. Unfortunately things like TV and movies don't work as well (because you have to visually focus too) and it might not work with more complicated tasks (having someone talking in your headphones makes it nearly impossible to write an email) but it's a tool in your toolbelt, and one that has made my house a lot cleaner.
Oh, ditto! Rewarding myself with Audiobooks while cooking makes the task less boring. Only problem is when I find the ingredient i missed using b/c i was too engrossed in the story. 😖
See, I love this idea. I really do. Sadly, I end up tuning out whatever is in the background and not enjoying it. The only time this worked was one I had a really dull day doing testing on a lot of thin clients. The test was literally plug it in and wait. If it booted up, good. Didn't boot up, bad. Was able to enjoy my audiobook through the whole day. Doing this while driving? I don't remember a damn thing in the book.
I can't focus on someone talking in my ear, if i try I either won't hear them anymore or I'm literally just standing in place not doing whatever project I have. I have to have the person in my face in order to listen. Is that an ADHD thing? I was taking a business course online, was doing every video lessons:) Then lesson 5 came and it was just reading, no video. I read the same paragraph like 10x before I closed out, I've never finished since.
I always turn on RUclips whenever I'm vacuuming or doing the dishes. I always make sure to put earphones on to tune out MOST distractions. I won't always understand the videos at times since I'm horrible at multitasking, but it brings me so much relief and comfort.
@@1129buttons I have the same issue. If the person's to my side I'll lose track of what they're saying. Best to go to a doctor for a diagnosis. I suspect I have autism or adhd (maybe both) and I plan on applying for medicaid to see if I can enroll and get myself covered in my state.
I'm just commenting to say that I am openly weeping while watching this video. Tears of happiness. My doctor and I have just approached the possibility that I have ADHD and I feel so seen by this video series and your channel in general. Understanding my brain makes me love me more. You've given me a gift!
Me too!! Tomorrow starts my exam week (haven’t read) and I have essays to write that are already late. But I’ll do them and have to accept it even if it’s not my best. Good luck to you all too!! :)
so did I and I did unfortunately fail it. How about you guyz ? What are the techniques you have implemeneted and how ? Majority of the comments say how this video helped them. Surely, there are things I missed.
I only recently realized that I got most of my work done due to anxiety, and now that I have begun treating anxiety it is so much harder to find the motivation to do the things I need to do... wonderful catch-22. Thank you for the tips and coping strategies.
thank you for writing this comment, i resonate with it a lot. i was getting treated for depression and anxiety for about a year and a half (still am taking the meds) but recently i was finding that even with my better mood my motivation was low while my stress was unmanageable. it was like depression symptoms, but i was feeling so much better in general, and thats when i started seeking out if there could be something else thats weighing me down. the craziest catch-22!!!!
Ngl, I cried a little bit watching this. I thought something was wrong with me. 😢 feels good to hear someone describe my daily struggle so accurately. I really needed this. Guess I will go get some stickers so I can finish this pile of work on my desk I'm neglecting so I can lay on the couch and watch this video. 😅
These videos really help to put exactly what I'm struggling with into words. I literally just pulled an all nighter, telling myself that I won't sleep until I get this work that's weeks overdo done, and I STILL haven't gotten around to it, opting instead to tidy my room, sketch, play on instagram, and literally anything else. I want to get this task over more than anything, but the lengthy, repetative task has become so daunting that it created a gap in my motivational bridge that I've been struggling to get over for weeks.
Story of my life. I would advise just doing 2 minutes of it. Just start but without any obligation to go longer than 2 minutes, but be mentally open to going longer if you feel like it. For adhd brains like you and me, starting is the hardest part. If those first two minutes peak your motivation or interest it’ll get done no problem, if not it’s ok just try again tomorrow. Don’t feel bad, trying to do a task when your adhd brain is uninterested is like torture.
The Matrix I’m still struggling wit ADHD pal, I did well in college because most of it you can do with last minute work. But I flunked out my first year in law school.
Every single task where I could "turn it in whenever" has never gotten done. Currently in the middle of doing one of those now, and I'm GOING to get it done this time.
Unfortunately I couldn't get it done and had to hand it off to someone else 😭 I'm really sad about it because I wanted to see it through to the end but just couldn't.
I got a huge boring time to fix a problem at my system at work, and then, yesterday, I spoke with another department about it and it reminded me of the importance of this work to be done, and how it would make my own job better and easier, and it was magic. I'm now extra motivation with finishing that as soon as possible. Now I have to learn how to do it because I want to. The tip is amazing
I can't believe it took me this long to discover that everything I've been struggling with is (likely) ADHD. Every video is just seeing my life explained.
Same. And I keep thinking that maybe I'm wrong and tricking myself into believing I have it but then I go to another video and it explains another thing I've been having a lot of struggle with for the last 2+ years
Same I turn 44 on September 6th here soon and I was diagnosed back in like 2nd or 3rd grade but I stopped taking my medicine my senior year of high school so being off meds for 27 + years I'm now realizing after finding this channel yesterday that I needed the medication for far more than just doing better in school
I got diagnosed last year at 30 years old. It's been life changing and made my life so much better. The process of getting diagnosed can be a long one, but it is worth it if you have a happier, more productive life.
Watching the little brain struggling to cross the bridge and looking sad and disappointed hit me SO HARD. I'm almost in tears myself, cause it's so relatable.
Sometimes when you're talking about the negative effects I feel that I can see pain in your eyes and I just want to give you the biggest hug! Thank you for what you do here, I feel it's incredibly important for people impacted by ADD/ADHD.
This video hit me with all the self-loathing and self-deprecation I've felt for the past few months, and especially the past couple of weeks, for not finishing my dissertation and other projects. I've tried so many of these strategies but I have been unable to forgive myself and take proper mental and physical breaks when they don't work for me. I know it's critical that I get my degree in the next few months. I know I needed to send the draft a week ago. I know I can. I got about 70% of it done by this time last year but then I had physical health issues that deeply impacted my mental health and I'm frozen to the point of lacking the focus to process sources when I read. I just burst into tears watching this. Out of frustration, out of a sense of shame, out of fear of lack of control, out of feeling stuck and thinking maybe I could've been saved the worst parts of my mental health issues - anxiety disorder and major depression - had I gotten the resources to build habits when I was younger to counteract my lack of focus and motivation with important things that make me literally freeze when I have to confront them. I am stuck with migraines and I have come to the point where urgency - typically the only motivating factor for me - no longer helps and only adds to this despair. I keep going back to the documents I need to focus on and then just staring or changing things back and forth without proper progress. I have added one substantial page to my dissertation in the past three months and I hate myself for it. Recently I've had difficult times with health in my family on top of it all so now my ability to focus and control my anxiety is even worse... I don't even have access to a therapist and I'll be travelling soon so I don't even know how to ask for help at this point without being shamed by those around me who love me but simply do not understand that I feel this overwhelming impotence that I don't even know whether I can attribute to a disorder I'm not diagnosed with or not.
Trust me, you are not alone. I finished my MA last year and without the support I got at Uni for my anxiety and depression plus the help of an amazing classmate who was my accountability buddy throughout I honestly don't know if I'd have made it. I don't have an ADHD diagnosis (I'm hoping to get a referral this Monday actually, but the system in the UK sucks so it'll be a while before I get a proper answer) but I've yet to find a single thing on any of Jessica's videos that I don't relate to. Some suggestions for possible planks for the motivation bridge when you're ready to face it: If you have a classmate or even just someone who also has work to do that you can have study sessions with over the internet or in person that could be really useful. It's easier to stay accountable and stay focused when you know at the end of these fifteen mins you're gonna be reporting back what you've managed to get done. I don't know if it'll help but I often used 4thewords for my coursework. It's a writing gamification site that encourages you to write in blocks and reach certain goals by having you fight monsters and finish quests. The monsters' hit points are a word count and there's a timer to complete it by to win the battle. It's a subscription site but I think there's still a free trial with no credit card sign up, and it's cheap enough to be worth it if it works for you. It's very novel and there's events and new things coming out all the time to keep you engaged. I'd imagine you've already tried blocking, but that's another thing that can help. Only do the thing for five mins at a time. When the five mins is up, go get a drink, stretch your legs, text a friend. Then come back and do another five mins. Print out the article you want to read. It sounds dumb, but sometimes just having it in another format can help. You can doodle on it, feel it between your fingers, take it to work, highlight sentences as you read them. It can help to have it be more tactile and have it be away from the distractions present on a computer. Make studying an event. Get a ritual together. A couple of good snacks, a nice drink, a comfy outfit, a candle. Don't spend too much time or money on it, as that can be a procrastination black hole, but make it so the study event is exciting. You want to do the studying cause you get your candle and your snacks and stuff. Go the opposite way. Read a few paragraphs while you wait for the kettle to boil and then leave it. Write a hundred words while you wait for your friend to text you back or the TV adverts to finish. Make some notes while waiting for the bus. Don't wait to have time to study, just do a little here and there with no pressure to reach a specific goal. Talk to people about it. It sucks, and it's important to find people who won't just make you feel worse, but talking it through can really help. Sometimes just getting it out there and having someone listen can be extremely helpful. Sometimes they'll have resources you can use. Sometimes they'll just be there to sympathise. Either one is good. The How To ADHD channel has some great study tip videos as well if you haven't found them yet, so make sure to check those out. Sometimes even just understanding the whys can help make things easier.
You're not alone in this, honestly, but from what you've written it sounds like that's a big part of how you feel. I love all of Katherine's suggestions. I would also add that sometimes just having another human being in the room can be really grounding and helpful. They don't need to completely understand what you're going through so, "Could we spend some time working in the same room? Sometimes it helps me stay on task," might be enough. Also, therapy while travelling is possible! Dr Lindsay Doe who hosts the Sexplanations RUclips channel recommends a service that sounds very flexible. Communication can be via many different media, even email or text if necessary. I can't remember the name of the service but I'm sure she would reply to a question about that through RUclips or another medium.
I have a friend who comes over to help me clean. I feel so bad about making my guest work that I'll do as much as I can before he comes over, so by the time he gets there he can just chill while I finish up
I actually use this one pretty regularly. I can go almost completely manic cleaning mode after inviting someone over and I get done in 2 hours what normally would take me a week XD
you are literally teaching me how to live my life and I love it. I was feeling like a failure for the last couple of years as a "burnt out gifted kid in her twenties".. Thank you for everything..
Being gifted makes it worse. Not only are you not getting done what you “should” be but you’ve been told your entire life that you’re capable of more than the average person. So, it’s like a double whammy of guilt and shame.
I’m really proud of myself today. I was feeling veery unmotivated today and I had to clean my kitchen, I also ended up buying a frozen pizza to eat for dinner. What I ended up doing was clean the kitchen while I waited for my oven to preheat because it takes tooooooooo long to heat up, and when I finished cleaning my pizza was ready. I created my own reward for cleaning the kitchen.
This Is the first video I've seen from you, and I already love it, because it not only shows me more ways to help myself do stuff, it also proves why certain things work. Thank you.
This made me cry. There have been times that I've been crying and telling people I CAN'T do something and neither of us understood how seriously I meant it
I can relate. I lost so many jobs to what they stupidity. They were plain and simple things that everybody else could do perfectly fine. nowadays if I were to do one thing at a time I will be perfectly fine.
Yesss this is what I’m dealing with now my job puts a lot of tasks on me and most times I don’t do it or I halfway do it because I just can’t do it.😞😞 I feel like a failure I can’t do anything
@@SharlenesJourney no baby, you are not the sum of your productive output. You are human and worthy of acceptance and love for who you are just as you are. ❤
Now I'm wondering how many times when I thought my lack of motivation was depression that it was actually ADHD. I also wouldn't be surprised if there are times the two causes have teamed up against me.
I haven’t yet met someone with ADHD who *doesn’t* have comorbidities: the simultaneous presence of two or more diseases or medical conditions in a patient.
same! I don't know if I have ADHD but I relate a lot to some symptoms. And now I'm just there, because I know I am depressed : do I like motivation because depression makes me think I'm not good enough, is it because my ADHD can't focus on the reward, is it because I am too anxious about it, or I am just a lazy person who finds herself excuses?
It's amazing how much my ADHD affects my ability to get things done. Sometimes, even though I know I have ADHD, I still get frustrated with myself and even depressed that I'm not dealing with tasks and getting things done like I would in my ideal world and that I feel like my feet are stuck in cement sometime. Videos like this help though and make me feel less alone. You have me some planks in my bridge today. Thanks Jessica
same. I am in a horrible rut of depression, and this video is good and all, but it makes everything sound so easy. "Get more deadlines!" I cant even get up in the morning sometimes. Things are rough. U got this.
Thanks for the content. I love this channel because for years i thought it was just me being me. Was filled with anger and hate towards those who criticised and judged me. Knowing there are a lot more like me, who can understand the shoes i am in, fills me with kindness and hope that i havent felt my whole life.
New to the whole “accepting my ADHD” thing. While climbing my wall of awful seems like an impossible task. And overcoming my laziness just as impossible. Finding this channel has set me on the right path. Thanks for that!
Brother Of Owls the journey to understanding your brain can be tiring but it is rewarding. And self-understanding is what allows you to build the real healthy discipline. What is healthy discipline? It is a set of ideas you tell yourself which direct your impulses and urges toward your goals.
when I was a kid my mother refused to give me any type of therapy because I was just a "hyper kid like any other", the more I investigate about ADHD the more things i find that I thought were 100% normal and everyone was like that... now I have to learn how to cope with myself through youtube videos. please send your kids to therapy.
could remember several years ago I was diagnosed with ADHD. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
To be honest, mushrooms are one of the most amazing things on the planet and it is natural, they serve in many ways not only for mental related issues. 凸
Can you help me with a reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. It is very hard to get a reliable source here in France 🇫🇷 . Really need!
YES very sure of Dr.Burkeshroom. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today
100% agree I used to have Psychosis and paranoid thoughts like "people thinking about me talking about me etc. Very odd behavior after getting off Adderall from 7-16. Antidepressants at 18-29. 31 now. I took way to much, but took about 20g of Gold caps (Psilocybin containing mushroom) I analyzed my entire life. The emotions that came out helped me understand behavior etc more. Wont ever need to do it again because I'm happy and contempt forever, but I wish more people did this to alter their perception of reality. Would help with healing much trauma
Sometimes "artificially" motivating myself, like for example planning to study at the library with the nice view, actually has the opposite effect. Maybe I feel really tired when I wake up or I remember that I forgot to make my lunch the night before, and then I spend all day "waiting" for motivation to go to the library instead of just studying at home in my pj's. Until 5pm when I finally feel the urgency to do it but then I'm also too tired and stress over the time. And then I end up going to bed late so I'm tired again the next day! Can anyone relate? Any advice? 😊
It sounds counter intuitive but....I eliminate all but the most simple planning. For instance: I told myself I would learn to play an entire album of MCR's on guitar, record me doing covers of them all, and post them online. The more I planned what time around other things going on that day, when during the week I wanted to do it (such as a day off work), where in the house or even OUTSIDE I would practice, even what song I would do...I found myself sitting doing absolutely nothing all night and having 0 motivation. I LOVE playing guitar and it didn't matter. Now? I know I'd like to post covers of the other 7 songs on the album, but I don't push myself to do so. Sometimes when I pick up the guitar I learn random songs, sometimes I practice a song off the album, and sometimes I don't touch it for a week.
This is me too. What I do this days is, once I notice that I am not puting out my plans, I sit and do anything O can to accomplish at least a little of the intended task. It helps seeing I did at least a few
What for me works and i have to say it doesn't always work, yeah adhd. Is to make sure everything is ready the night before. So that the only thing i have to do is follow the places that I prepared and make sure that I get out off the door before a specific time. I also set an alarm clock to remind me when I m late. With going out off the door in timely fasion is one off the bigest hordes you are face tha day. So when you walk out off the door you can be proud of yourself. And please remind yourself that going to sleep on time but not to far away from your normal routine is important to be able to focus yourself when you are in the library. If i ready your story correctly, you are bumbed that you also didnt studie at home, this could be, because you where to tired to actually focus on the task. And another tip I can give you to make it more fun to go out off the house is to dress up for the occation or to pick an outfit that fits the studing. That way you have something extra to form an habbit and something to play arround with when you are preparing for the next day. And 1 final tip, dont go to the library thinking you will do this and that, no you go and the first you are going to do is to prepare for the things you need to do. And you will automaticly start doing what needs to be done.
Yeah, same. I try to make plans where things are disconnected from each other so that tasks can fail instead of getting stuck and blocking my one processor slot. So instead of "go to library to study" I'd do something like "10:00 -- go to library 10:30 -- study 12:30 -- eat"
I love the metaphor of the bridge planks. I feel as though one huge plank-eater for me is anxiety about the task. If it relates to something I am afraid of (e.g. doing my taxes wrong), then I put it off longer through fear, then other plank-eaters come along, such as loathing the task for seeming like such a burden.
"I love the metaphor of the bridge planks. I feel as though one huge plank-eater for me is anxiety about the task. If it relates to something I am afraid of (e.g. doing my taxes wrong), then I put it off longer through fear, then other plank-eaters come along, such as loathing the task for seeming like such a burden." j matthews, the way you have decided to call them "plank eaters" reminds me of the Stephen King movie "The Langoliers".
Sitting at my desk at work and sobbing right now. Finally, FINALLY, and explanation of why it’s just... so... blasted difficult for me to get things done. When the little brain walked across the bridge and smiled, I lost it. There is hope for me.
I'm feeling something similar. My supervisor at work tells me I need to learn more time management so I'm not staying after work for a couple hours. Even offered to give me less work to get it done. He just doesn't understand that by giving me less work, I'll either spend even more time on each task BECAUSE that stimulates my brain into making it more complicated OR I'll waste time socializing and doing the task at the last minute. I don't get paid more or less when I stay late or leave early. I'm just making up for wasted time during the workday and my life outside of work will be my fun break.
This is one of the best ADHD videos I’ve seen. It really is an eye-opener for not only understanding my son’s brain, but also my own (since we both have been diagnosed with ADHD)
I just found this and I literally teared up at some of the things you covered. It was the first time I've ever had encouraging, compassionate discussion of motivation specifically targeted at my needs. I am so, so happy I found this channel.
Oof this video came at exactly the right time. This honestly explains so much! I’ve been trying to tell teachers for ages that I need deadlines but that they can’t be too tight or too loose.
ADHD is a disability and you have the legal right to accomodations. you have to meet with a psychologist or psychiatrist first who will discuss with you what some of your challenges are and what will help you become a more successful student/employee. This is then submitted to the school/ HR dept and it is required by law that they accommodate you if they can. This might include such things as someone in class taking notes for you, being able to take a test in a different room, such as a quieter room. You may also be given extra time to complete a test or assignments. The first time I went to college I was undiagnosed and I had a C average. When I went back to school and was allowed to take tests in a quieter environments and with a couple of other accommodations, I graduated with a 4.0 GPA. I also have a couple of accommodations through work.
@@HowtoADHD Useful description! Kind of unfortunate that we have this kind of thing here in the US. Motivation bridge, that's exactly what I've got to work on filling for a couple of routine things that are not interesting and need to do anyway for various reasons.
Alison Jordan what did you mean by that first sentence? I’m not trying to start an argument lol I’m maybe just uninformed? Are ADHD accommodations better in other countries or were you referring to taxes or...
Omg! The rewards part is so frelling true! I made a weightloss goal with a big reward at the end (i ended up not succeeding, but i did my best). To force myself to keep that goal, I had pictures of the reward everywhere, but I also metered out smaller rewards along the way. A new sticker for my water bottle for ever 10lbs dropped. A new tattoo once i dropped below 300.
Me too!!! I need to watch more of these videos so the little brain is what pops into my mind first when I'm needing motivation. If I cheer on that cute little brain, I'll be rooting for myself before I realize it!
You’re the reason I set up an appointment with a psychiatrist today! Thank you so much for these videos. These cartoons made me LOL and I love them! More please!
Took me three years to get around to watching this video, but this is the best way I've ever heard someone explain motivation and how it happens for me. This makes me feel understood in a way I didn't even know I needed. I so appreciate your content. Thank you!
5:45 that's why I started putting my to-do list on post-its. when the task is done, i get to take the post it off the wall. seeing myself declutter the wall makes me feel more accomplished, and helps me keep the tasks organized.
I started doing this too! I used to use Tasks in Outlook, but that tactic didn't work once I started working from home. Now I put post-its up on a corkboard right behind my laptop. I also use stickers to label them 'keep in mind but no action required from me'. It helps relieve anxiety about forgetting things.
I burst out in tears within the first 2 minutes. I feel so understood for once. This year has been so hard for me and I’ve struggled so much with my ADHD and it has absolutely tanked my mental health. Especially cuz I took hard classes for my senior year of high school. I just wanna be happy and figure out how to cope with my ADHD. I’m now working on it, thank you so much for the amazing content
does anyone else find it really hard to implement anything to help, i love watching these videos and feeling not alone but it’s just so hard to do anything about it
Yeah :( it’s like I’ve got someone in my head with buckets of motivation but someone else is controlling my body and a little of my mind. I want to do stuff so bad and I can but it’s like I can’t get myself to but what hurts the most is that I know I can because I’ve done it before
Please do a video on the co-occurrence between ADHD and Aspergers Syndrome. It’s a topic that I would really like to see be discussed. It’s also a topic that is important to me.
This one isn't quite an in-depth researched one, but a great conversation between Jess (an ADHDer) and Daniel from Aspie World who has comorbid Asperger's, ADHD, and OCD. ruclips.net/video/aFdbNPwmVRs/видео.html
Omg yes, PLEASE do a video on this topic! It gets especially confusing and frustrating when some ADHD and Autism symptoms seem to be in direct conflict with one another, while other times they are similar and amplify one another. And then of course adding depression, anxiety, and multiple physical disabilities to the mix just further complicates everything
I can't remember the last time someone actually gave me verbal acknowledgement for a good job; no wonder university is so difficult for me. For me, I like relating things to my interests to what I have to do - and I usually hyper fixate on obscure things, or franchises. So I might end up doing my chores while singing along to sea shanties, or wonder about how one would go about washing dishes in sci-fi space. It can usually get me through the tasks, at least. Although I should really exercise more. I was thinking of trying that Zombies Run app, but I don't have enough data for the GPS function to work on things like that.
![Jack Harlow - Hello Miss Johnson [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Q86_nlRoIGw/mqdefault.jpg)
Your videos have helped me more than anything in working through the challenges of ADHD. Looking back at my life before I found your channel, I was struggling so much to fully understand how to manage my symptoms and a lot of things were falling apart. Since I've found your channel, I feel less crazy, more validated, and more in control of my mind than I ever have before. It is not an exaggeration to say that your videos have significantly changed my life for the better and I cannot thank you enough for the impact you've had on me. ❤
I’m not crying you’re crying 😭
@@HowtoADHD I'm crying! 😢. Well done you both!!!
I am also like Leah with my story, we have you to thank Jessica ❤️
Leah Applebee agreed!
Leah, I couldn't agree more or put it better.
the "five minutes or five years" comment hit hard. I've literally procrastinated on a thing for years that I think about every day, and it's not even that hard, I just...
Same here. And it's a horrible feeling.
It took me THREE YEARS to finish a 300 page-long PDF book :(
same here.. i really can´t believe how many people are writing the same stuff i would write in the comments
IKR??? it's just undefined fear or anxiety of something I can't figure out
@@langtryvlogme i dident even finish a 5 page book
"Get it to me whenever" the scariest phrase of my college career
I really hate that. Just as bad at work. It really makes me wonder if their boss actually needs it to be done.
This is probsbly why I hated online schools. I had no reason to do anything other than the bare minimum, and it was horribly boring.
That and "semester-long project." Because let's be honest....the former just ends up becoming the latter, with twice the guilt.
i really hate it too... i mean, the teacher is obviously just trying to be friendly and nice but then, after several months of not having completed it, they’ll either get super mad about it, or tell you that you don’t have to do it anymore which is an AWFUL habit to make.
I've been procrastinating on a huge work project for literally half a year because of how flexible they've been with me 😩
i almost started crying when she said people with ADHD see people getting things done and start to think "maybe i am just lazy" bc I really think that at times and its hard not to feel that way ):
ik im not lazy i just dont notice i procrastinate lul
I totally agree. In fact, I am so frustrated with myself that i even tell people I am lazy or my quirky work-around is the 'lazy man's' method to do it! I have 'embraced, in a way, that people find me lazy.
omg this
Same for me , my sister is hard working and instead of feeling motivated iget demotivated and just unable to even lift a book
Right 😞😞😞😞
"don't waste time trying to tell someone how important it is that they get it DONE. They know." touched my heart:')
but then are those people who need to hear that going to be watching this video so they can hear it from someone else?? If I tell someone that I know I need to do something, they respond with: "Then get it done!"
@@Rajgitaaand I respond with
I wish it was as easy as that
That part touched me too. It’s me telling my family as they are lecturing me.
SAME HERE ISTG
Me too! I teared up😢
Rewards as an adult haven’t worked for me.
Me: if I do the thing I can have a cookie
Brain: or you can have a cookie now and do it later
Me: can’t argue with that logic
Same lol
Same, but worse LOL
Brain: I’ll have a cookie anytime I damn well please. I don’t have to freaking *earn* a cookie or anything else!!
HELP! What to do about this??
Literally my whole college/grad career.
Try having someone else give the reward! I personally would do anything for the sticker chart 😂 a new sticker everyday, I know if I didn’t have anyone to initiate that for me and help me along than id probably just put the stickers on my laptop or hoard them all.
I really LOVE that you say that!
My psychiatrist tried to push that method upon me. I always said exactly what you said, but he didn't understand.
He basically "fired" me after a while. He said he couldn't help me.
After reconsideration I kind of figured out: yes, he was right. He was a hack.
Now I'm a few years later and still in the VERY same mess.
"don't waste time trying to tell someone how important it is that they get IT done. They know." That was so incredibly validating that I stopped eating my lunch and cried. I want to get it done. So bad. I want to do a top-notch job, want to be effective, want to care for people well, but sometimes it's so hard to get myself from point a to point b. When folks tell me, "just get it done" it is so anxiety-producing and stirs up such difficult thinking in my head.
I'm now crying, I feel the same way.
Next week I have this exam, it's the conclusion exam of my 5 years of high school. I'm proud for what I have accomplished and I want to study for the exam but I'm so not motivated, I'm so bored, I don't even know what to do. I'm so tired of my brain not working like everyone's elses.
Thats so frustrating, my mum is helping me but she is also telling me "it's very important, don't waste the last 5 years!!" I know it is. Its not that, I know more than anyone how important it is, I just find it so hard to get it done
And the guilt is equally as crippling sometimes
I feel like I finally found people who understand
It’s such a weird feeling personally because I don’t even understand it sometimes how I want to be good at my job working from home and provide for my wife, but sometimes the motivation is just not there and it’s a very weird feeling because I’ve done it before and had plenty of success before
I can totally relate *hugs*
POV: you’re watching this as you’re procrastinating and seeking motivation to get the job done 🥺
These videos always make me cry, and they’re immensely helpful. Thank you.
Right, I should be studying for my exam in two days but I'm watching this...
They make me tear up to.
Before these videos, it's like I felt the world isn't built for me, and I am not built for my culture or surrounding community.. I never understood how the world doesn't understand me... Almost as though seeing these videos helped me face a subconscience fear.... that maybe I've made up these scenarios or challenges I face... to explain why I'm not always productive in this world.
Watching these videos makes me cry because it makes that's a part of ME real.... and that helps... acceptance and understanding helps take away a barrier
Sigh of relief
Me right now!
pov im wondering if on top of my autism and highly suspected ocd if im also adhd or add
literally what I'm doing right now and this video made me cry because I just haven't been able to understand why I have such a lack of motivation and now that I know some ways to overcome it I feel like I can actually meet my goals I'm so happy.
The problem with procrastination/urgency is that while you're finally doing the thing, you're simultaneously regretting that you didn't start the thing sooner because you would do such a better job of it if you had. I really like the idea of breaking the thing down into smaller pieces with different deadlines.
omg LITERALLY! i spent weeks struggling to make progress on my assesments, now that the deadline is a few days away, my sense of urgency is motivating me, but i'm so incredibly stressed and keep wishing i had this motivation before ahh 😭
gosh I spend hours regretting why I didn't start sooner. Its so draining.
There’s also the “rush” you get with the sense of urgency followed by feelings of immense relief when the task is finally completed. You don’t get the same adrenaline and dopamine hits from doing things in a timely manner.
Literally 🤕
For me the problem is almost the opposite.. because I procrastinate and get things done anyways, it makes it easier to justify the procrastination because "I always get it done in time in the long run"
I’m at a point where nothing works. I can’t trick my brain because it knows I’m lying to it and it doesn’t care about anything. I feel like i’m just watching life pass by while my adhd drives and I’m just in the passengers seat.
Same here
It got worse for me after an injury. Being incapacitated taught me new tricks on how to be more lazy. PT was put off, so...
same... :(
same same, at least we're not alone :')
it might be time to invest in seeking therapy from a ADHD specialist?? thats what i'm looking into now cause i feel the same as you. ADHD feels crippling at this point.
Speaking of deadlines, I believe the receptionist at my dentist has cottoned on to the fact that I'm always late for appointments (in typical ADHD fashion) and now tells me it's an earlier time when actually it's booked for later. That way, when I'm inevitably late, I'm actually still on time. I can't know for sure as neither of us has brought it up, but now when I'm on time there's a conspicuous wait before I'm called, which never used to happen. I love her for that.
I've asked my family to start doing this with me. If I'm ever "on time" for a family function there is something seriously off, because I'm inevitably ALWAYS late. I have always misjudged how long it takes to do something or how long it takes to get somewhere. Even with GPS, I underestimate or lie to myself about how long it's really going to take depending on the time of day.
With appointments now when I book them I put them in my phone calendar as 15-30 minutes EARLIER than the actual appointment time to trick myself into being on time.
Lol. My doctor's receptionist too knows I miss appointments because I forget and she calls 3.2.1 days before appointment date.
You’re not late because of adhd lol
@@stocktawk poor time management and becoming overwhelmed with the steps it takes to get ready for events (even something that’s seems simple like a dentist appointment) is indeed a trait of ADHD.
Send that woman a fruit basket (other office gifts)
I honestly started to cry when the brain was struggling to get over the bridge and the average person couldn't see the missing planks from their perspective. You captured that often un-nameable and unexplainable feeling so well
oh my gosh i did too. its really the feeling thats so familiar but you cant describe
Neurotypical people are too lazy to stop what they're doing and understand what we're going through
The amount of times as a kid I would try to explain the feeling but also being autistic and verbally inept I couldn’t, really ruined my life
I did too. This year has been such a huge struggle for me, my mental health has absolutely tanked because of my ADHD. This made me feel so understood
Man, that whole "it's even harder when it's a bridge we've crossed before" thing kinda stung. That hits home for sure!
It made me think of doing work for education, things have gotten a lot harder since I’ve been at uni
:((((((((((((
For real
This really stung. As a university student, I was struggling badly with ADHD but I managed to push through, such as completing a project report set for a month and just a night, and was able to meet deadlines with stressed-out late-night work now in my master's I can't get myself to do anything, and now I am moths behind on my progress.
It made me cry when the little ADHD brain teared up after crossing the bridge. I have a 65 year old ADHD brain that often got lost on the way to the bridge. One thing I learned (very late unfortunately) is to concentrate on getting better at what you are good at rather than wasting your life trying to match a neurotypical stereotype. ❤️
Helane Steinmüller
WE know so very well w h y the brain teared up after crossing the bridge.....
I (67) did not get a diagnosis so far but since June ( a BBC reporter spoke about her ADHS and my brain signalled: This is US, too.) I am a much more relaxed person, telling ( almost proudly, because of feeling so free of SHAME and GUILT *NOW* ) people : 😉 I do what I can, being an ADDer ...; or I say: "Well, that was because of my ADDism and laugh "
But I will try to find a specialist. Not easy in Berlin.
Thank you! I really needed to hear this!
C. BL1986 ❤️
Treeofwysdm ❤️
The Matrix ❤️
Laughed out loud when she said “we don’t have little gaps in our motivation-half the bridge is missing”.
Never heard something so accurate
yep, it's a really great workable analogy.
More like a brick wall to me. Even if I want to do something, I just can't. And the more I try it feels like squeezing my skull and brain against that wall
@@Lilian040210 Me with my 99% complete taxes that just need to be signed and sent... for the past 3 weeks...
It touched a nerve the therapists I have been to couldn't understand
When it dawned on me that my “effortless” grades were not sufficient for going abroad, so here I am in my masters trying my best and putting in work. Also I heard it was hard so I said why not.
watching that little brain finally crossing the bridge got me more emotional than I'd like to admit
Thanks for mentioning that artificial deadlines don't always work. Setting "intentions" and writing them in a calendar or telling other people about them is such a common recommendation for productivity, but I have gotten so used to setting little goals and then NOT meeting them over time that I think it's actually damaged the motivation that urgency is supposed to give me. Not meeting deadlines feels so natural and inevitable to me at this point that it barely registers.
Instead of giving myself a million finish lines and revising them constantly, I need to keep my expectations of what I can get done by when loose, and focus on making the actual work easier or more accessible. A helpful thing for me has been shutting down extraneous goals or barriers to starting. I don't HAVE to shower before I go run errands, and as soon as I start telling myself I do, I've basically lost my whole day. Whatever way I get the thing done is okay, and little rules I create for myself about how I need to accomplish something are just barriers to doing the thing.
Exactly! An unnecessary task discarded is as good as a task done because it's out of the way.
Wow. This feels so true to me. Thanks for giving me an extra way to understand myself.
Yeah aryificial deadlines dont work a lot for me either... Paying 50 buvks for each day I don't do my public speaking training to a friend that was motivating!! Sticks work better for me now. 🙈😜
"Not meeting deadlines feels so natural and inevitable to me at this point that it barely registers". Yes. This.
Wow, you've just described my life.
God the bridge metaphor hits really hard. I've always had a hard time explaining "I just can't make myself do things...", People don't understand. With that metaphor it's more that I CANT do things because what I need to do them is missing, not that I _wont._ not that I'm not putting in the effort or that I'm not trying or that I gave up. Thank you
B-atiful! same here! my friends and i have been trying to do work together over quarantine and i stopped showing up to our video calls because i wasn’t actually doing the work during the previous video calls because even with them there, i struggled to just do it
It’s hard! I plan and want to do something in the house, try to pump myself up and end up sitting and “dazing “ getting mad at myself. Like right now, I need to get something done, but here I am looking at videos!!🙄🙄😞
Same
Same here. Thousands of times I’ve had something that I need to do, something I truly, desperately WANT to do, but I simply can Not do it. It could be something as simple as doing the dishes, or doing some laundry, cleaning, or anything really. It’s not just someone else saying, “clean your room”, and me thinking, “no, I don’t want to”. It’s me really, Really wanting to, but being absolutely unable to. It’s infuriating!
yeah same! I think my brain exploded when she said that because it literally explained everything! so wonderful!
literally cried when she talked about how we feel so down about ourselves due to wanting to do tasks but unable to.
whats the difference between crying and literally crying
@@canine_coach The word “literally” in this context adds the inference that crying is probably not an expected reaction for the writer. Also, think of the phrase, “I was floored by…” (an internal, emotional response) as compared to, “I was literally floored by…” (as in, found myself on the floor). I hope this is helpful.
I'm with you on this. A close friend how much on the possibility of me having ADHD, more learn, the more easy it is to accept and correct. But sometimes the realization is overwhelming.
same here, im constantly called lazy by my family for this
I was diagnosed with ADD at 50 (non-hyperactive, so I flew under the radar for years). I developed a lot of coping strategies over the years, but I still struggle with motivation for tasks that are unscheduled, not urgent, or don't have a short-term reward. This bridge analogy is great; I think it will help a lot.
The main strategy I use is split-tasking. I jump around between tasks at a rate most people would find confusing, but for me it helps make incremental progress. It doesn't help much with very long-term discretionary projects, though; I have between 20 and 30 novels in various stages of completion.
This is my most successful way of trying to get stuff done too 😊
Do you jump between tasks of different projects or different tasks of the same project.
I‘m asking myself what would be better for out brains: try hard to stay focused on one project and doing it until finished or maybe switching between 2-3 projects to make them less lengthy, repetitive and boring….🤔
I was always afraid of getting distracted if not being focused on one thing, but now I saw this video I‘m not shure anymore if this is exactly what an ADD brain needs to get things done.
When brain made it over the bridge: “don’t cry, don’t cry”
totally. It hit home quite hard lol. I just want to get there, but it is so hard for me.
Same here.
I cried... Just a bit ❤️😅
@@estelaramirez779 I am with you on that!
RIGHT??!
I lost it at “Wanna get your house clean? Invite someone over...” 😂😂
I’ve definitely used this tactic without realizing it.
Foluke O. Me all the time!
1000% almost knocked me out of my chair when she said that
this his how I clean the toilet!! works every time!
Wanna get unpacked after moving? Plan a party!
I just did that yesterday 😂 When she said that I was like "YASSSSSSSSSSS" 😄😍🤩💪
Ugh, if someone says "turn it in whenever", I'm essentially guaranteed to not get it done.
‘Take your time’ is the enemy of progress. 😂😂😂
Lol same I think I have a million years to do things until the day before
It's such a double edged sward for me. On one hand, it limits the added anxiety of failure, messing up especially at work but on the other hand it's like 'fine. next year it is then'
lmao I rewrote this macro to "turn it in ASAP" to avoid that problem and occasionally confused people when I reacted to what should be a lenient choice with annoyance
Maybe make that item the urgent one? The pay off - the person will be impressed at how fast it's completed.
i have a university exam the day after tomorrow and I have been procrastinating the study since now. This of coursehappened before and had me struggle a lot trought my academic career. This video alone helped me a lot to exit the vortex of depression I was going trough rn, thanks a lot
“It’s okay to cycle back to your hobbies.” Insanely helpful to hear. I always feel like a failure when I don’t do a little bit of every one of my hobbies every day. The messaging out there is always: if you really want to get better you have to do it every day. Hellooooo feeling of failure! Then I realized when I pick up my banjo for the first time in a year, I haven’t forgotten a thing and I’m the same skill level I was when I stopped. Nothing lost. I’m not a failure. I just pick up where I left off.
Same here! I never stick to anything for too long and it used to make me feel so useless, I thought "I have friends who have done one thing for many years (whether that's a sport or instrument etc.), why can't I?" (plus my parents really wanted me to "just pick something and stick to it") but now I realise it's okay to change hobbies a lot and seek novel experiences and it's much better to go along with what my brain wants to do rather than try and fight it and force myself to stick to something until I'm completely bored and end up hating it
Amen!!!
Everything you said I have felt so hard. I picked up my guitar maybe 5 years later, beat myself up about not playing. And though it was physically painful on my fingers, I was shocked to be able to still do everything.
@@1129buttons That's amazing! I'm happy to hear that. I was the same way, fingers needed to build up a bit of skin but at least the muscle memory was still there
I feel like I'm the polar opposite
Does anyone else find themselves openly weeping while watching these videos that are not supposed to be at all emotional? Having someone illustrate so many of the struggles so vividly and accurately, after 40+ years of feeling like no one else experiences things like this... is just a bit overwhelming.
thank you for putting all this content out. seriously... Thank you
Yup
Yes....
Yes but not as much as the autism videos I watched learning that I'm autistic. Now this is helpful and I am crying a little, but it's not as intense. That initial understanding of ourselves is so intense and incredible!
Yeah I just cried too watching this
Once I became more empowered with my ADHD and stopped guilting/shaming myself, these videos made me smile and no longer cry. You WILL find your way that works for you, keep having faith in yourself and love yourself through every perpetual "fail". Remind yourself, "That was the best I could do today. I love me". Our gifts of this different brain are needed in this world, don't put out your Light 🌟🙏💗
“When it’s a bridge we crossed before”
*remembers writing being a fun and satisfying thing for me, but now I can’t even muster a sentence!!*
mememememememe!!
I have that with reading! Once I adored reading everything, but now it is difficult to even read a page..
You just did, that's a perfect sentence-comment (y)
I wonder if smart phones and other parts of new technology are causing this in me.
@@letsrocknskate It's far easier to type out a sentence than verbally saying it on the spot lol
I was diagnosed with ADHD by my psychiatrist THIS YEAR at age 41. I immediately found your channel and it was an "ah hah!" moment. You explain everything I've gone through my whole life that I was always told was laziness. I have 100 alarms (literally) on my phone to remember to do things, like get in the shower, pick up the kids, leave for work, take medication, go to bed, pay that bill! The alarms are never ending. People coming over is definitely a motivation for cleaning, until too many people come over and I start making excuses why the floor doesn't need to be mopped again this week or the laundry can be thrown in the other room out of site. My mom helping me do things like clean the garage are often the only way certain things will get done. My husband has worse ADHD than me and won't set a single alarm to help him remember...anything. It's obnoxous. I'm high anxiety so just people judging me is a motivation. I totally agree about people saying "no rush" is terrible. Clients will tell me that thing they want is "no rush" and it falls to the bottom of my inbox until they email me again for an update. I need deadlines, and I'll likely still do it the day it's due unless I'm having a really good day. For college (yep I'm trying college again) I have a fear of a B! That's my motivation to study hard, even the boring stuff like humanities. It's always worked for me, even in high school, but I was a little less OCD in high school about A's, I would often settle for a B if it meant not working as hard and papers definitely got written the night before they were do. Thanks for your great videos! Definitely helps me feel more normal and understood!
When I'm struggling with reading, especially for school or study, I start reading out loud with different voices. It helps to keep me engaged and also gives me some associative memory for what I'm reading.
I will try this! I struggle a lot with reading for unviersity haha
I as well find that it's easier to remember stuff when I read it out loud!
That's BRILLIANT!!!
ohh I started doing this too and it's SO helpful!
OH MY GOD I HAVE TO REMEMBER THIS
I feel like verbal acknowledgments are underrated. It makes me so happy when I get an good job, or an I'm proud of you from someone I care about
Let me tell you about my boss. My boss in the how many years I have worked for them, it has given me maybe three compliments. No wonder I hate my job. It's boring and I'm not good at it. And then I was trying to diplomatically tell my boss that I need more encouragement and acknowledgement when I do a good job because there are times when I do a really great job. And I told my boss about how when I was going to school and I was struggling very much with the subject, when I had a teacher that encouraged me and motivated me, every single class where that happened, I ended up getting an 'A' in the class. My boss simply didn't get it. I always do well when someone gives me a compliment
...Change the job if you can. My Boss knows I have ADHS and I told him that telling me I have done great gives my lots of motivation. He always tells me I am doing great with the tasks given to me (which I am :D) and it's really good for my work quality.
I always glow with pride when I get a “well done!” from my teacher, but for some reason when my mom tells me that, I just... brush it off. I don’t know if maybe that’s just not my love language, or I subconsciously feel like she doesn’t mean it, or if it’s something else entirely, but for me, only certain people’s compliments help me.
Reilly Lafreniere
Ahh, words of affirmation can be very powerful! Usually the people who are fuelled by words of affirmation, are the ones that deliver it the most. However, the people that are more socially intelligent are the ones that will deliver motivators specific to a certain individual, even if it’s not a style that works on themselves; these are the people that are amazing employers, leaders & mentors!
Irelynd Henry
Are you referring to a specific teacher or any of your teachers? Perhaps you really admire your teachers and therefore hold their opinions of your abilities very highly. Perhaps you feel your mom doesn’t know enough about a task you’ve done ( hasn’t read it or etc), so you feel that her acknowledgment or comments of tasks don’t carry a true value. Perhaps your mother more often criticizes you, than praises you, thereby generating a response that dismisses and devalues any praise from your mum.
Either way, I suggest just saying “thank you” to your mom, when she does acknowledge something she thinks you’ve done well on or something you’re proud of.
I’m literally sitting in my kitchen tearing up whilst watching this video, I feel so spoken to! Thank you @How to ADHD ☀️
Me too... I also got teary eyes... Thank you!!!
am literally also sitting in my kitchen crying right now...
I also cried watching this
Me too omg 😢
i totally agree
ADHD and Motivation
- small daedlines
- time will pass and never comeback again (more busy in the future)
- shame free
- make it novel ( new enviro- new ways- cycle hobbies- weird rewards)
- make it personally interesting
- short term small rewards
- get curious about what's missing and fill the blank
Shame free and make it personally interesting are tough.
Recently, I've started to listening to audiobooks while walking/jogging, and I only let myself listen to the story while _on_ my walk.
So if I'm listening to a really good book, I end up actually motivating myself to go walking because I want to know what's going to happen next!
I know it's a pretty small thing, it's just walking, but as someone who hates exercise it's really been helping me out!!
This is a wonderful idea! I have the opposite problem where I don't know how to make time to listen to audiobooks because I get too focused on what I'm doing to pay attention to the story. Maybe I should start going on walks!
Paige McNinch Thats why I started doing this in the first place actually!! I needed to start walking and I missed listening to audiobooks!
Its also really nice because walking's not distracting enough to take over your brain's attention, and if you're listening to the right book the ambience of wherever you're walking really adds to the experience (Ive been listening to a small town mystery while I walk around my small town which makes it so much spookier and cool!!)
Podcasts and audiobooks are pretty much the only way I can ‘get in the groove’ for tons of tasks (laundry, dishes, snow shoveling...). It keeps my brain from wanting to bail early, and provides a good source of BYO (“bring your own”) stimulation. Only problem? It doesn’t always encourage me to be quick with the task. For time-sensitive things, I sometimes use audio content as timers/deadlines (this task must be done by the time this podcast/playlist is over. I even use a (music) playlist in the mornings that provides subtle prompts for my getting ready routine (by Song X I should be brushing my teeth; by Song Y I should be heading out the door). One favourite for mornings (especially for difficult parts of the routine like waking up or leaving on time) is “My Shot” from Hamilton. I find it energizing and motivating. :)
Hobi Hope its SUCH A GOOD IDEA
I've started listening to podcast while I do the dishes. Music itself wasn't cutting it anymore. It's much more tolerable listening to a podcast about history.
My mom is always confused as to why and can't just "do it" and I always thought I was a lazy idiot so i literally started sobbing when i watched this, it feels so good to have someone understand
Did you show this to her? Did she respond well?
I know a lot of lazy idiots. They are just lazy idiots. Is "not wanting to be a lazy idiot" a motivating plank? Does the excuse of knowing I have ADHD remove motivational planks? Yep. That's why I think it does no good to label people. Everybody is different. I think these obscure undefinable mental "disorders" are detrimental. Oh don't get mad at poor me, I have ADHD....
Same! I always used to get scold for forgeting things since i was a child....
My family , friends and even my teacher have said i'm lazy and dumb. And it's frustrating...
I remember getting hit by my teachers for this exact reason
That statement about 'not giving deadlines can make things harder for those with ADHD' really spoke to me. Had a professor who made everything due by the end of the semester. I got to the last couple weeks of the semester and hadn't done hardly anything. Especially when you throw depression into the mix, it's really difficult.
I am a college teacher WITH ADD/ADHD. I consciously don't distribute due dates over the semester any more b/c I know that people NEED to develop a strategy to manage their resources - one that fits their brains needs. People learn from failures more than from successes. Getting a bleeding nose in university has a *much* smaller negative impact on people's lives than getting fired from your first job because you can't manage yourself.
@@f.d.6667 you are Fing your own people lol
As a 30-something year old with a socially "respectable" profession, I was so ashamed of my personalized little sticker chart I spent time on every day while trying to build at-home habits- (an absolute nightmare!!) And I was battling both pride and shame when I'd show it to others. It is so nice to hear that sticker charts got a shout-out in the video!! I found that no commercial stickers were interesting enough, so I color and cut tiny pieces of paper out and use clear tape- BOOM! Any printable or drawn design is now a sticker! For extra large ones, clear packing tape is a huge success. Just remember to be careful!
Making DIY stickers sounds super fun! Also would probably be a quick and easy activity to do as a short break from work.
Stuff like this is so helpful to read about though, seriously, thank you for sharing. I’m in my first year at Uni (only diagnosed at the end of last year), and I’ve been looking for ways to motivate myself, trying and struggling to understand how to live with ADHD and medication lol. I love journaling, but haven’t done it recently since I love to spend hours doing it, but that’s hours I should be spending on Uni assignments. I feel like sticker charts would be a good way to get that quick fix of motivation and reward, and do something fun!
The “turn it in whenever” make so much sense in quarantine. Teachers are so flexible and I feel myself procrastinating more and more.
oh, same. Quarantine has been terrible for my studies. Online lecture that you're meant to watch "sometime in the week" is... never going to get watched. Assignment officially due next week, but the teacher says don't worry if it's late? Not going to get done until the end of term. I know that for some people these things have made it much easier but I wish teachers would understand that for some of us they really really don't.
I started a “self-paced” online course that’s supposed to take about 40 hours to finish. That was two months ago. Almost done now though!! 🥳
*me watching this while in bed with 25 things on my to do list and 0 motivation, feeling depressed and frustrated* This video came at the perfect time, thank you
Lol then do good things seems like u dont wanna feel good lazy bum
@@novictim you don't get it..
Once I went to bed, trying to sleep.
And my brain went crazy. With one thought only. The same thought all of the time.
Kept me awake for at least an hour.
Wanna know what that thought was?
"Don't think about anything or you won't sleep!" in all possible variations!
Hang in there bro!
same I'm trying to stay in this really good school and my grades are terrible and my ADHD gave me severe depression and social distancing made it worst (all though I'm an introvert) and I just AGDHSHHDHS
i’m in one of the biggest slumps of my life right now and this video is making me tear up. i hope i can build my bridge
so am I!! We got this bro
Same here, I'm feeling hopeless rn. I wish we'll overcome this.
Remember how your emotions shift - you will be ok... and then you will be able to implement some of these ideas! I am 62 and still learning - but this is the best information I have ever received here on this channel!
Me too. I was just diagnosed - at 64! I've had executive dysfunction my whole life.
Same I need to finish school at 22 to go on after... sometimes it's hard and I can't focus on my work.
This 7 minute video has given me more insight than 1.5 years of psychotherapy
Omfg I'm about to cry. The amount of times I've been told I'm lazy is too numerous to count. I actually finally freaked out on my boyfriend and told him if he ever calls me lazy again I'm leaving. I just don't need to hear it anymore, even in a joking way, it's so discouraging.
You shouldn’t be with someone that calls you Lazy, and you know that.
Leave him anyway, sis. No one should invalidate you even in a joking manner, and that's on PERIODT
I would tell him to watch these videos. People who say this (even jokingly) don't understand us and these videos will help a lot in starting to understand us.
I can explain it so many times and in so many ways but people don't grasp what I mean when I do so. Nowadays I just tell them to go to this channel and watch at least 3 videos with the topics they get frustrated by when it comes to me.
Been happily married 24 years. I am dealing with several losses right now including my 87 year old mother who has a brain injury from a car accident, and my most constant buddy died in November... he was a collector of stuff and the final bits of stuff that was his is in boxes on any floor of this 950-sq ft house we could find. My hubby does things quickly... he doesn’t agonize about decisions. Every little item in the boxes is a decision my friend can’t make himself.
One day I broke down and said “If I can do it, I do... I love to work, I love accomplishing things. If I say I can’t, I really, truly, can’t.” And he finally got it.
And he should understand or yall shouldent date, i agree
"I tend to get bored of my hobbies really quickly..." YOU ARE IN MY BRAIN...so far this quarantine I've dabbled in web site design, electronics, robotics, programming, gardening, amateur radio, home improvement, aquatics, 3D printing, and guitar...and that was last week so who knows what I'll get into this week... Thank you for the videos, they are really helpful in making me feel like a regular human being again.
I suddenly got obsessed with fungus growing. You can buy the kits online and like a potted plant they''re clean enough to watch them grow mushrooms in your kitchen lol.
Patrick Snyder LMAOOO same here!! the one thing that has kinda stuck with me was minecraft, which i’ve been playing daily from 8-10pm with my friends and there’s a lot of different things to do within it, and it’s nice to talk to my friends too so it’s quite entertaining. lately it’s been a little boring though and i don’t know how to make it more fun and exciting again-
I've given up trying new hobbies because I know it won't stick. I just play video games now. The only thing that has stuck with me is gardening, and even that is starting to fall off.
yeah. its like 'yeah thats interesting but nah, not today' and like I can't figure what I want to do with my life.
Can I suggest - for those of you who want to stick to hobbies and make it 'your thing', find one with a community and solo component. Eg. dancing, calisthenics, art classes, music groups, archery, model planes, mountain biking etc etc - take a friend, make a friend, go once a week. It's also something you can work on at home with youtube videos. If the hobby has a few different rewards to it (social, novelty, physical stimulation, skills progressions) you're more likely to stick to it.
Otherwise, if you like to cycle through hobbies like many of us do, buy the equipment second-hand in good condition or buy it new and keep it in good condition. That way, when you're bored of it in days/weeks/months/years you can sell it and get your money back on it. Or rent the stuff first to get a feel for it.
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD after years of thinking I was unmotivated, unintelligent or just flat out lazy. Seeing the videos on this channel, and realizing that other people go through the exact same struggles I do has been a huge help for me.
You described my own struggle and it's so validating. I was diagnosed this year (very recently) and I've spent decades thinking I was everything you described. I was relieved and angry when I found out because of the support I could've received and the grace I could've given myself years, letting myself know that it's not my fault. Better late than never I guess but still. Thanks for sharing. 💜
strange how I constantly rekindle motivation and lose it perhaps I lack a true commitment
I totally agree. I am finding this out very late in life and while I wish I knew it earlier, I am happy I understand what's behind the personal challenges.
potato 🤑🤑🤑🤑
i've thought i was just depressed for years, but then i finally started antidepressants, and they didn't really... do anything. like i think they helped my mental attitude a little bit, but i still lacked motivation to do the things i wanted to. and i was worried that i was actually just lazy. but i've recently discovered that ADHD also has a motivation problem, and i'm thinking that might be the real issue, that may have even caused my depression.
i'm hoping to see if i can get evaluated soon, and get some medication and therapy, i can start being a functional person.
In one adorable 7 min video, you perfectly explained every single failed project I've ever started in my entire 42 years, and the subconscious ways that I fixed the projects I completed. My mind is significantly blown right now.
I can explain how relieved I was when I found out that this was caused by my adhd and not bc I didn’t care. For years I thought the reason I couldn’t just sit down and do my home work was bc I just lacked the proper motivation and i continued to think that when I got into high school and tried to start doing things that will make me more prepared for a good future only to fail at it every time. I’ve been diagnosed with adhd since kindergarten but until that year ended and I tried to sit down with all my might and just study for my SAT bit by bit every day I finally realized something wasn’t right. So I finally reasearched if adhd has an affect on us other than just our ability to focus and remain calm. I have such a low self esteem over this bc it’s easier to see when you’re not able to get something done bc you’re not able to focus and hear what the teachers saying. But it’s so much harder to realize it’s not your fault when it comes to motivation, bc it can often feel like we really don’t care. “And if you really DID a care you would have done it by now.”
It's actually the opposite - caring is a big part the problem. Unimportant stuff is often easy to do. Vacuum the carpet? No problem. I try to reduce the amount I care - just enough to make a hole in the wall, not so much that I can't be bothered.
This speaks volumes to me. Recently, I’ve been noticing how my struggles have gotten worse in spite of how increasingly hard I have been trying.
I‘ve contacted a GP in regard to what makes things so difficult for me, initially enquiring about a different diagnosis. When the doctor had a look at the list of what I’ve been experiencing, he said it could actually be ADHD, not what I’d thought. My initial inner reaction was “HA, impossible!” and it was very much based on a stereotypical and shallow understanding of ADHD, but the more I research, the more I seem to understand how I work...
It’s safe to say that I am now pursuing getting tested and finding techniques that work for me in the process.
How is it that I have every symptom mentioned in this channel and yet I was never even suspected of having ADHD?
Same!
Same it took me having a son who is ADHD for me to realize that I'm not broken
Same, probably because I never let anyone see what was going on in my brain. I guess i’d rather stress myself out instead of people telling me “Focus” “Work harder” “Stop being lazy”
No one ever thought I did until a couple years ago, at which point we realized my brother's had dramatically overshadowed mine when we were kids, because they presented differently (he had a lot of behavioral symptoms and I didn't), and I didn't know enough about what it actually was to say "I think I also have it". Once I learned about it, a lot of pieces feel into place in my brain puzzle.
In my opinion, this a serious problem in the global education system, the lack of awareness is... astonishing.
For me, the important things to building my bridge are:
- Knowing the “why?” of the task. What is the impact?
- Knowing how to picture a vision of “done”.
- Believing I have a path to “done”
- Knowing how to recognize signs of incremental success.
- Actually seeing incremental successes along the way.
- understanding the world better incrementally as I go along.
As a programmer: Test-Driven Development is great!
I can second the TDD! It's a godsend for me. :)
Learning to see incremental successes was one of the most useful way of thinking I've ever learned
“Believing I have a path to done”
Yessss, if the task feels dauntingly unrealistic I often will simply avoid the thing.
Andrew Farrell this is helpful. Thanks!
I have a really hard time picturing the final task completed though. However, when I can, it's helpful.
Hey Jessica,
I started watching your videos just a few days ago, and I just want to say that your channel has changed my life. I'm in college right now, and I have been since 2016, and oh my goodness it has been an uphill battle from the very beginning (and that hill has only gotten steeper). I've developed at least 2 mental health conditions and multiple traumas, so as you can imagine the suffering has bern overwhelming for years. I've seriously thought of giving up on my dreams. However, these videos have given me info that can seriously change this battle I've been fighting with college. So thank you so much for giving me enough hope to keep going.
The discovery of this channel had made me cry more than once, because of how much I relate. I always thought it was my fault, I was not motivated, I was not smart enought or good enough, I always put it on me. I've only watch a couple of your videos, because I only found you a week ago, but you have show me so much and I appreciate you putting your self out there and showing every one what its like to have ADHD. Your Ted talk was so amazing and I really just love you for showing me steps to reach my potential.
Started watching this video & literally started crying.
Oh man, I had a similar experience. I can’t even remember which video it was but I found myself crying because finally things made sense.
Oh this makes so much sense... I need to buy me some stickers... I like that idea
Bowen Homeniuk can you link to er Ted Talk? Thank you!
Wow more people crying ! Lmao thank god!
1:21 the shaking eyes making it look like it’s about to cry is literally the most relatable thing
One of the simplest ways to make a task novel is to do something novel and the task at the same time.
Podcasts and audiobooks are my secret for cleaning and other chores. Listening to new stories while doing the same old laundry means that it doesn't feel nearly as boring.
Unfortunately things like TV and movies don't work as well (because you have to visually focus too) and it might not work with more complicated tasks (having someone talking in your headphones makes it nearly impossible to write an email) but it's a tool in your toolbelt, and one that has made my house a lot cleaner.
Oh, ditto! Rewarding myself with Audiobooks while cooking makes the task less boring. Only problem is when I find the ingredient i missed using b/c i was too engrossed in the story. 😖
See, I love this idea. I really do. Sadly, I end up tuning out whatever is in the background and not enjoying it.
The only time this worked was one I had a really dull day doing testing on a lot of thin clients. The test was literally plug it in and wait. If it booted up, good. Didn't boot up, bad. Was able to enjoy my audiobook through the whole day.
Doing this while driving? I don't remember a damn thing in the book.
I can't focus on someone talking in my ear, if i try I either won't hear them anymore or I'm literally just standing in place not doing whatever project I have. I have to have the person in my face in order to listen. Is that an ADHD thing?
I was taking a business course online, was doing every video lessons:) Then lesson 5 came and it was just reading, no video. I read the same paragraph like 10x before I closed out, I've never finished since.
I always turn on RUclips whenever I'm vacuuming or doing the dishes. I always make sure to put earphones on to tune out MOST distractions. I won't always understand the videos at times since I'm horrible at multitasking, but it brings me so much relief and comfort.
@@1129buttons I have the same issue. If the person's to my side I'll lose track of what they're saying. Best to go to a doctor for a diagnosis. I suspect I have autism or adhd (maybe both) and I plan on applying for medicaid to see if I can enroll and get myself covered in my state.
I'm just commenting to say that I am openly weeping while watching this video. Tears of happiness. My doctor and I have just approached the possibility that I have ADHD and I feel so seen by this video series and your channel in general. Understanding my brain makes me love me more. You've given me a gift!
You finally had the motivation to do the motivation video! #successfulADHD
We diiiiid! We had to fix motivation bridge to get it done 😂
@@HowtoADHD was there something specific you did to fix motivation bridge on this video?
Never pressed this quickly on a notification; I'm struggling to study for my exams and your timing is honestly a lifesaver. Thank you so much.
Same I got 2 months worth of coursework due in 1 week. I HAVENT STARTED IT 😩😩😩
Same😊👍
Me too!! Tomorrow starts my exam week (haven’t read) and I have essays to write that are already late. But I’ll do them and have to accept it even if it’s not my best. Good luck to you all too!! :)
so did I and I did unfortunately fail it. How about you guyz ? What are the techniques you have implemeneted and how ? Majority of the comments say how this video helped them. Surely, there are things I missed.
How did it go?
I only recently realized that I got most of my work done due to anxiety, and now that I have begun treating anxiety it is so much harder to find the motivation to do the things I need to do... wonderful catch-22. Thank you for the tips and coping strategies.
thank you for writing this comment, i resonate with it a lot. i was getting treated for depression and anxiety for about a year and a half (still am taking the meds) but recently i was finding that even with my better mood my motivation was low while my stress was unmanageable. it was like depression symptoms, but i was feeling so much better in general, and thats when i started seeking out if there could be something else thats weighing me down. the craziest catch-22!!!!
Very much my experience too ❤
I have the same problem.
Kind of difficult.
Now I have to rely more on other motivational tools to fix that bridge.
Oh my gosh me too!!!
Anxiety can be addicting. Same.
Ngl, I cried a little bit watching this. I thought something was wrong with me. 😢 feels good to hear someone describe my daily struggle so accurately. I really needed this. Guess I will go get some stickers so I can finish this pile of work on my desk I'm neglecting so I can lay on the couch and watch this video. 😅
This is one channel I always immediately click for. And even if it’s delayed, I have an understanding why. Thank you for what you do!
Thank you!! That means a lot ❤️
@@HowtoADHD i made sure i hit the extra notification reminder / alert...
These videos really help to put exactly what I'm struggling with into words. I literally just pulled an all nighter, telling myself that I won't sleep until I get this work that's weeks overdo done, and I STILL haven't gotten around to it, opting instead to tidy my room, sketch, play on instagram, and literally anything else. I want to get this task over more than anything, but the lengthy, repetative task has become so daunting that it created a gap in my motivational bridge that I've been struggling to get over for weeks.
Story of my life. I would advise just doing 2 minutes of it. Just start but without any obligation to go longer than 2 minutes, but be mentally open to going longer if you feel like it. For adhd brains like you and me, starting is the hardest part. If those first two minutes peak your motivation or interest it’ll get done no problem, if not it’s ok just try again tomorrow. Don’t feel bad, trying to do a task when your adhd brain is uninterested is like torture.
@@AlexAminoff what about something like an essay? Or college work in general?
The Matrix I’m still struggling wit ADHD pal, I did well in college because most of it you can do with last minute work. But I flunked out my first year in law school.
story of my lifeeeee i said i would go to bed rly early tonight but i know imma stay up till 4am anyway.
I've also done the same and I've started doing the work like at 4 or 5am and I don't think I've always finished.
Every single task where I could "turn it in whenever" has never gotten done. Currently in the middle of doing one of those now, and I'm GOING to get it done this time.
Have you done it?
@@nekroneko yeah, update please! :) You can do it
You got it done, right??
Unfortunately I couldn't get it done and had to hand it off to someone else 😭
I'm really sad about it because I wanted to see it through to the end but just couldn't.
@@Moechella444 It's okay, feel you bro
I got a huge boring time to fix a problem at my system at work, and then, yesterday, I spoke with another department about it and it reminded me of the importance of this work to be done, and how it would make my own job better and easier, and it was magic. I'm now extra motivation with finishing that as soon as possible.
Now I have to learn how to do it because I want to.
The tip is amazing
I can't believe it took me this long to discover that everything I've been struggling with is (likely) ADHD. Every video is just seeing my life explained.
Same. And I keep thinking that maybe I'm wrong and tricking myself into believing I have it but then I go to another video and it explains another thing I've been having a lot of struggle with for the last 2+ years
Same I turn 44 on September 6th here soon and I was diagnosed back in like 2nd or 3rd grade but I stopped taking my medicine my senior year of high school so being off meds for 27 + years I'm now realizing after finding this channel yesterday that I needed the medication for far more than just doing better in school
I got diagnosed last year at 30 years old. It's been life changing and made my life so much better. The process of getting diagnosed can be a long one, but it is worth it if you have a happier, more productive life.
Girl. Same.
Same ㅜㅜ
Watching the little brain struggling to cross the bridge and looking sad and disappointed hit me SO HARD. I'm almost in tears myself, cause it's so relatable.
Sometimes when you're talking about the negative effects I feel that I can see pain in your eyes and I just want to give you the biggest hug!
Thank you for what you do here, I feel it's incredibly important for people impacted by ADD/ADHD.
houseatwrongtown *hugs*
This is an excellent visualisation! Thank you
This video hit me with all the self-loathing and self-deprecation I've felt for the past few months, and especially the past couple of weeks, for not finishing my dissertation and other projects. I've tried so many of these strategies but I have been unable to forgive myself and take proper mental and physical breaks when they don't work for me. I know it's critical that I get my degree in the next few months. I know I needed to send the draft a week ago. I know I can. I got about 70% of it done by this time last year but then I had physical health issues that deeply impacted my mental health and I'm frozen to the point of lacking the focus to process sources when I read. I just burst into tears watching this. Out of frustration, out of a sense of shame, out of fear of lack of control, out of feeling stuck and thinking maybe I could've been saved the worst parts of my mental health issues - anxiety disorder and major depression - had I gotten the resources to build habits when I was younger to counteract my lack of focus and motivation with important things that make me literally freeze when I have to confront them. I am stuck with migraines and I have come to the point where urgency - typically the only motivating factor for me - no longer helps and only adds to this despair. I keep going back to the documents I need to focus on and then just staring or changing things back and forth without proper progress. I have added one substantial page to my dissertation in the past three months and I hate myself for it. Recently I've had difficult times with health in my family on top of it all so now my ability to focus and control my anxiety is even worse... I don't even have access to a therapist and I'll be travelling soon so I don't even know how to ask for help at this point without being shamed by those around me who love me but simply do not understand that I feel this overwhelming impotence that I don't even know whether I can attribute to a disorder I'm not diagnosed with or not.
Trust me, you are not alone. I finished my MA last year and without the support I got at Uni for my anxiety and depression plus the help of an amazing classmate who was my accountability buddy throughout I honestly don't know if I'd have made it. I don't have an ADHD diagnosis (I'm hoping to get a referral this Monday actually, but the system in the UK sucks so it'll be a while before I get a proper answer) but I've yet to find a single thing on any of Jessica's videos that I don't relate to.
Some suggestions for possible planks for the motivation bridge when you're ready to face it:
If you have a classmate or even just someone who also has work to do that you can have study sessions with over the internet or in person that could be really useful. It's easier to stay accountable and stay focused when you know at the end of these fifteen mins you're gonna be reporting back what you've managed to get done.
I don't know if it'll help but I often used 4thewords for my coursework. It's a writing gamification site that encourages you to write in blocks and reach certain goals by having you fight monsters and finish quests. The monsters' hit points are a word count and there's a timer to complete it by to win the battle. It's a subscription site but I think there's still a free trial with no credit card sign up, and it's cheap enough to be worth it if it works for you. It's very novel and there's events and new things coming out all the time to keep you engaged.
I'd imagine you've already tried blocking, but that's another thing that can help. Only do the thing for five mins at a time. When the five mins is up, go get a drink, stretch your legs, text a friend. Then come back and do another five mins.
Print out the article you want to read. It sounds dumb, but sometimes just having it in another format can help. You can doodle on it, feel it between your fingers, take it to work, highlight sentences as you read them. It can help to have it be more tactile and have it be away from the distractions present on a computer.
Make studying an event. Get a ritual together. A couple of good snacks, a nice drink, a comfy outfit, a candle. Don't spend too much time or money on it, as that can be a procrastination black hole, but make it so the study event is exciting. You want to do the studying cause you get your candle and your snacks and stuff.
Go the opposite way. Read a few paragraphs while you wait for the kettle to boil and then leave it. Write a hundred words while you wait for your friend to text you back or the TV adverts to finish. Make some notes while waiting for the bus. Don't wait to have time to study, just do a little here and there with no pressure to reach a specific goal.
Talk to people about it. It sucks, and it's important to find people who won't just make you feel worse, but talking it through can really help. Sometimes just getting it out there and having someone listen can be extremely helpful. Sometimes they'll have resources you can use. Sometimes they'll just be there to sympathise. Either one is good.
The How To ADHD channel has some great study tip videos as well if you haven't found them yet, so make sure to check those out. Sometimes even just understanding the whys can help make things easier.
You're not alone in this, honestly, but from what you've written it sounds like that's a big part of how you feel. I love all of Katherine's suggestions. I would also add that sometimes just having another human being in the room can be really grounding and helpful. They don't need to completely understand what you're going through so, "Could we spend some time working in the same room? Sometimes it helps me stay on task," might be enough. Also, therapy while travelling is possible! Dr Lindsay Doe who hosts the Sexplanations RUclips channel recommends a service that sounds very flexible. Communication can be via many different media, even email or text if necessary. I can't remember the name of the service but I'm sure she would reply to a question about that through RUclips or another medium.
Omg that urgently cleaning the house when someone is coming over has been my life. It goes from dump to hotel room in a couple hours 😂
I recently decided I just have to invite someone, let’s say… twice a month for the rest of my life! 💪
I have a friend who comes over to help me clean. I feel so bad about making my guest work that I'll do as much as I can before he comes over, so by the time he gets there he can just chill while I finish up
If you are curious there is a word for it too. It's called Scurryfunge and its a rather old word.
I think I will have to be a renter for ever because I rely almost entirely on rental inspections to have a clean house.
That doesn't work with me because I tell myself that a real friend won't judge too much the state of my appartment..
"Wanna get your house cleaned? Invite someone over."
Ohohohoooo that's dirty
i notice this is the only time i actually clean and i was like WHOOP there it is!
Misty Antonio same!
I only notice how dirty the room is when someone get in my room
I actually use this one pretty regularly. I can go almost completely manic cleaning mode after inviting someone over and I get done in 2 hours what normally would take me a week XD
Honestly. This is extremely effective for me.
Podcasts really help me get through those extra boring tasks!
I love how Brain respawned at the savepoint after falling down the canyon.
elb that was very reassuring!!
you are literally teaching me how to live my life and I love it. I was feeling like a failure for the last couple of years as a "burnt out gifted kid in her twenties".. Thank you for everything..
Being gifted makes it worse. Not only are you not getting done what you “should” be but you’ve been told your entire life that you’re capable of more than the average person. So, it’s like a double whammy of guilt and shame.
@@ivyrose779 just spoke my entire life in a single paragraph lmao
I’m really proud of myself today. I was feeling veery unmotivated today and I had to clean my kitchen, I also ended up buying a frozen pizza to eat for dinner. What I ended up doing was clean the kitchen while I waited for my oven to preheat because it takes tooooooooo long to heat up, and when I finished cleaning my pizza was ready. I created my own reward for cleaning the kitchen.
This Is the first video I've seen from you, and I already love it, because it not only shows me more ways to help myself do stuff, it also proves why certain things work. Thank you.
This made me cry. There have been times that I've been crying and telling people I CAN'T do something and neither of us understood how seriously I meant it
I can relate. I lost so many jobs to what they stupidity. They were plain and simple things that everybody else could do perfectly fine.
nowadays if I were to do one thing at a time I will be perfectly fine.
My life. 😞
Yesss this is what I’m dealing with now my job puts a lot of tasks on me and most times I don’t do it or I halfway do it because I just can’t do it.😞😞 I feel like a failure I can’t do anything
@@SharlenesJourney no baby, you are not the sum of your productive output. You are human and worthy of acceptance and love for who you are just as you are. ❤
Meghan Smyth Omg thank you so much for your kind words 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾❤️
Now I'm wondering how many times when I thought my lack of motivation was depression that it was actually ADHD. I also wouldn't be surprised if there are times the two causes have teamed up against me.
I haven’t yet met someone with ADHD who *doesn’t* have comorbidities:
the simultaneous presence of two or more diseases or medical conditions in a patient.
Same!!!!
same! I don't know if I have ADHD but I relate a lot to some symptoms. And now I'm just there, because I know I am depressed : do I like motivation because depression makes me think I'm not good enough, is it because my ADHD can't focus on the reward, is it because I am too anxious about it, or I am just a lazy person who finds herself excuses?
I don't think my self medication has helped either
If you are shot of AdderaII" for your ADHD then get more at darkfax.com
No prescription is Required
It's amazing how much my ADHD affects my ability to get things done. Sometimes, even though I know I have ADHD, I still get frustrated with myself and even depressed that I'm not dealing with tasks and getting things done like I would in my ideal world and that I feel like my feet are stuck in cement sometime. Videos like this help though and make me feel less alone. You have me some planks in my bridge today. Thanks Jessica
same. I am in a horrible rut of depression, and this video is good and all, but it makes everything sound so easy. "Get more deadlines!" I cant even get up in the morning sometimes. Things are rough. U got this.
Just Jello, yes!!
Thanks for the content. I love this channel because for years i thought it was just me being me. Was filled with anger and hate towards those who criticised and judged me. Knowing there are a lot more like me, who can understand the shoes i am in, fills me with kindness and hope that i havent felt my whole life.
New to the whole “accepting my ADHD” thing. While climbing my wall of awful seems like an impossible task. And overcoming my laziness just as impossible. Finding this channel has set me on the right path. Thanks for that!
Brother Of Owls the journey to understanding your brain can be tiring but it is rewarding.
And self-understanding is what allows you to build the real healthy discipline.
What is healthy discipline? It is a set of ideas you tell yourself which direct your impulses and urges toward your goals.
when I was a kid my mother refused to give me any type of therapy because I was just a "hyper kid like any other", the more I investigate about ADHD the more things i find that I thought were 100% normal and everyone was like that... now I have to learn how to cope with myself through youtube videos. please send your kids to therapy.
could remember several years ago I was diagnosed with ADHD. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
To be honest, mushrooms are one of the most amazing things on the planet and it is natural, they serve in many ways not only for mental related issues.
凸
Can you help me with a reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. It is very hard to get a reliable source here in France 🇫🇷 . Really need!
YES very sure of Dr.Burkeshroom. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today
100% agree I used to have Psychosis and paranoid thoughts like "people thinking about me talking about me etc. Very odd behavior after getting off Adderall from 7-16. Antidepressants at 18-29. 31 now. I took way to much, but took about 20g of Gold caps (Psilocybin containing mushroom) I analyzed my entire life. The emotions that came out helped me understand behavior etc more. Wont ever need to do it again because I'm happy and contempt forever, but I wish more people did this to alter their perception of reality. Would help with healing much trauma
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
Sometimes "artificially" motivating myself, like for example planning to study at the library with the nice view, actually has the opposite effect. Maybe I feel really tired when I wake up or I remember that I forgot to make my lunch the night before, and then I spend all day "waiting" for motivation to go to the library instead of just studying at home in my pj's. Until 5pm when I finally feel the urgency to do it but then I'm also too tired and stress over the time. And then I end up going to bed late so I'm tired again the next day!
Can anyone relate? Any advice? 😊
It sounds counter intuitive but....I eliminate all but the most simple planning.
For instance: I told myself I would learn to play an entire album of MCR's on guitar, record me doing covers of them all, and post them online. The more I planned what time around other things going on that day, when during the week I wanted to do it (such as a day off work), where in the house or even OUTSIDE I would practice, even what song I would do...I found myself sitting doing absolutely nothing all night and having 0 motivation. I LOVE playing guitar and it didn't matter.
Now? I know I'd like to post covers of the other 7 songs on the album, but I don't push myself to do so. Sometimes when I pick up the guitar I learn random songs, sometimes I practice a song off the album, and sometimes I don't touch it for a week.
This happens to me all the time omg
This is me too. What I do this days is, once I notice that I am not puting out my plans, I sit and do anything O can to accomplish at least a little of the intended task. It helps seeing I did at least a few
What for me works and i have to say it doesn't always work, yeah adhd. Is to make sure everything is ready the night before. So that the only thing i have to do is follow the places that I prepared and make sure that I get out off the door before a specific time. I also set an alarm clock to remind me when I m late. With going out off the door in timely fasion is one off the bigest hordes you are face tha day. So when you walk out off the door you can be proud of yourself.
And please remind yourself that going to sleep on time but not to far away from your normal routine is important to be able to focus yourself when you are in the library. If i ready your story correctly, you are bumbed that you also didnt studie at home, this could be, because you where to tired to actually focus on the task.
And another tip I can give you to make it more fun to go out off the house is to dress up for the occation or to pick an outfit that fits the studing. That way you have something extra to form an habbit and something to play arround with when you are preparing for the next day.
And 1 final tip, dont go to the library thinking you will do this and that, no you go and the first you are going to do is to prepare for the things you need to do. And you will automaticly start doing what needs to be done.
Yeah, same. I try to make plans where things are disconnected from each other so that tasks can fail instead of getting stuck and blocking my one processor slot. So instead of "go to library to study" I'd do something like
"10:00 -- go to library
10:30 -- study
12:30 -- eat"
I love the metaphor of the bridge planks. I feel as though one huge plank-eater for me is anxiety about the task. If it relates to something I am afraid of (e.g. doing my taxes wrong), then I put it off longer through fear, then other plank-eaters come along, such as loathing the task for seeming like such a burden.
Yep and also hating yourself for not doing it, that’ll take away quite a few planks
There's a video on this channel about the wall of awful. That may resonate a lot more for you. :)
"I love the metaphor of the bridge planks. I feel as though one huge plank-eater for me is anxiety about the task. If it relates to something I am afraid of (e.g. doing my taxes wrong), then I put it off longer through fear, then other plank-eaters come along, such as loathing the task for seeming like such a burden." j matthews, the way you have decided to call them "plank eaters" reminds me of the Stephen King movie "The Langoliers".
Sitting at my desk at work and sobbing right now. Finally, FINALLY, and explanation of why it’s just... so... blasted difficult for me to get things done. When the little brain walked across the bridge and smiled, I lost it. There is hope for me.
I'm feeling something similar. My supervisor at work tells me I need to learn more time management so I'm not staying after work for a couple hours. Even offered to give me less work to get it done.
He just doesn't understand that by giving me less work, I'll either spend even more time on each task BECAUSE that stimulates my brain into making it more complicated OR I'll waste time socializing and doing the task at the last minute. I don't get paid more or less when I stay late or leave early. I'm just making up for wasted time during the workday and my life outside of work will be my fun break.
@@TisOnlyAScratch I realized rn that’s why I function so well when I have an insane amount of work instead of one task I can overthink over. 🤯
This is one of the best ADHD videos I’ve seen. It really is an eye-opener for not only understanding my son’s brain, but also my own (since we both have been diagnosed with ADHD)
I just found this and I literally teared up at some of the things you covered. It was the first time I've ever had encouraging, compassionate discussion of motivation specifically targeted at my needs. I am so, so happy I found this channel.
Oof this video came at exactly the right time.
This honestly explains so much! I’ve been trying to tell teachers for ages that I need deadlines but that they can’t be too tight or too loose.
ADHD is a disability and you have the legal right to accomodations. you have to meet with a psychologist or psychiatrist first who will discuss with you what some of your challenges are and what will help you become a more successful student/employee. This is then submitted to the school/ HR dept and it is required by law that they accommodate you if they can. This might include such things as someone in class taking notes for you, being able to take a test in a different room, such as a quieter room. You may also be given extra time to complete a test or assignments. The first time I went to college I was undiagnosed and I had a C average. When I went back to school and was allowed to take tests in a quieter environments and with a couple of other accommodations, I graduated with a 4.0 GPA.
I also have a couple of accommodations through work.
Those missing planks have cost me so much money... :´(
Omg same. I call it the ADHD tax
Yes so true!
@@HowtoADHD Useful description! Kind of unfortunate that we have this kind of thing here in the US. Motivation bridge, that's exactly what I've got to work on filling for a couple of routine things that are not interesting and need to do anyway for various reasons.
Alison Jordan what did you mean by that first sentence? I’m not trying to start an argument lol I’m maybe just uninformed? Are ADHD accommodations better in other countries or were you referring to taxes or...
And so much time. And frustration.
Omg! The rewards part is so frelling true!
I made a weightloss goal with a big reward at the end (i ended up not succeeding, but i did my best).
To force myself to keep that goal, I had pictures of the reward everywhere, but I also metered out smaller rewards along the way.
A new sticker for my water bottle for ever 10lbs dropped. A new tattoo once i dropped below 300.
I love this cute little brain! I feel like he’s a version of me I need to root for!🧠🙌🏾
Me too!!! I need to watch more of these videos so the little brain is what pops into my mind first when I'm needing motivation. If I cheer on that cute little brain, I'll be rooting for myself before I realize it!
“Shame free accountability is really helpful.”
YES, yes, yes!!😄.
This it hard, for sure.
You’re the reason I set up an appointment with a psychiatrist today! Thank you so much for these videos. These cartoons made me LOL and I love them! More please!
In 7 minutes this video made me understand myself and feel better about myself. Thank you so much
I've just watched the video and your comment says everything I'm feeling.
This video makes me feel seen and understood ❤
Took me three years to get around to watching this video, but this is the best way I've ever heard someone explain motivation and how it happens for me. This makes me feel understood in a way I didn't even know I needed. I so appreciate your content. Thank you!
Since I put a "How to ADHD" sticker on my work computer a few months ago, I've had three parents come over to chat with me with their kids. So cool.
FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!
...How is this comment not getting more props?!!!
5:45 that's why I started putting my to-do list on post-its. when the task is done, i get to take the post it off the wall. seeing myself declutter the wall makes me feel more accomplished, and helps me keep the tasks organized.
Thats so smart
Great idea
maybe I should try that too 🤔 thank you!
I started doing this too! I used to use Tasks in Outlook, but that tactic didn't work once I started working from home. Now I put post-its up on a corkboard right behind my laptop. I also use stickers to label them 'keep in mind but no action required from me'. It helps relieve anxiety about forgetting things.
I burst out in tears within the first 2 minutes. I feel so understood for once. This year has been so hard for me and I’ve struggled so much with my ADHD and it has absolutely tanked my mental health. Especially cuz I took hard classes for my senior year of high school. I just wanna be happy and figure out how to cope with my ADHD. I’m now working on it, thank you so much for the amazing content
does anyone else find it really hard to implement anything to help, i love watching these videos and feeling not alone but it’s just so hard to do anything about it
Yeah :( it’s like I’ve got someone in my head with buckets of motivation but someone else is controlling my body and a little of my mind. I want to do stuff so bad and I can but it’s like I can’t get myself to but what hurts the most is that I know I can because I’ve done it before
Yes me, I also find it hard to implement anything that helps
Yep. Years of deep-set neural pathways will always be stronger than whatever hack I'm trying to use...
I keep getting reminded of something only to pop back in and realize two minutes of video has moved on without me.
Yes...and I worry it's too late for me now (I'm 39...)
Damn I just started crying... finding someone who understands (and in such a consumable format) really means a lot.
Please do a video on the co-occurrence between ADHD and Aspergers Syndrome. It’s a topic that I would really like to see be discussed. It’s also a topic that is important to me.
Same.
Yes, though I understand if it needs to wait until you make a friend with this particular trouble.
This one isn't quite an in-depth researched one, but a great conversation between Jess (an ADHDer) and Daniel from Aspie World who has comorbid Asperger's, ADHD, and OCD.
ruclips.net/video/aFdbNPwmVRs/видео.html
Omg yes, PLEASE do a video on this topic! It gets especially confusing and frustrating when some ADHD and Autism symptoms seem to be in direct conflict with one another, while other times they are similar and amplify one another. And then of course adding depression, anxiety, and multiple physical disabilities to the mix just further complicates everything
YES
Today I watched dozens of ADHD videos and this is the one I watched focused on until the end.
I can't remember the last time someone actually gave me verbal acknowledgement for a good job; no wonder university is so difficult for me.
For me, I like relating things to my interests to what I have to do - and I usually hyper fixate on obscure things, or franchises. So I might end up doing my chores while singing along to sea shanties, or wonder about how one would go about washing dishes in sci-fi space. It can usually get me through the tasks, at least.
Although I should really exercise more. I was thinking of trying that Zombies Run app, but I don't have enough data for the GPS function to work on things like that.
Ruki there’s also an app that pays you to stick to your fitness goals and makes you pay money for not sticking to them.
@@sabinegray1450 What's the name of that app? Thanks in advance