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SEX BY MYSELF - Episode 3 of At the Stark's Table
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- Опубликовано: 15 сен 2022
- We live in the age of "my body, my rights" and with this comes an increased normalising of porn and masturbation. As those who follow Jesus, how do we respond to these conversations that are prevalent in our day and how do we steward our private sexual desires? In this episode of At the Stark's Table join Emma, Deb, Ali and Jessica as they discuss "SEX BY MYSELF".
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At the Stark's Table is the place where bold, raw, authentic, and real conversations on friendships, marriage, dating, and relationships happen. Join Emma Stark, Ali McFarlane, Deb Finch, and Jessica Stark and in Episode 3 - "SEX BY MYSELF".
As a divorced Mom dealing with boys who have been exposed to porn, I've been asking God for guidance and confirmation about my own sexuality and masturbation while I wait for my God-given partner.
Thanks for your frank, bible -based discussions!! This is so important ❤️🙌✝️
Yay! I get so excited to watch these. They really help. This goes beyond just marriage. As a single woman, I can now have more of a better outlook of men in general and how I should treat them with respect and spiritual protection if they’re NOT my chosen husband. If they don’t have the strength to say no, I as a Christian have an obligation to follow.
I wish this was around 25 years ago! I’m so happy to see you doing this! Thank you!
Thank you for giving us the language that we can use to speak to our boys as they get older! This makes so much sense -- there is a breakdown in intimacy and when you restore intimacy with the Lord, everything else falls into its rightful place.
Some people will need deliverance from Spirit spouses.
Indeed! 🛐
The essence of idolatry, be it over eating, sexual sin, is a focus on self, and using self to express and accept self at the deepest level, if we want to change step one is total and unconditional acceptance of yourself, when you agree with God I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I accept God's love, the moment I accept God's love I am free of self, the new man Christ can arise in me and live through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Thanks ladies I appreciate these videos, but I do wish you would have covered how to handle masturbation for a single person who has already been married, because I feel that there is a very different dynamic then being single and never married or within marriage.
Notes:
- Realizing Jesus in the room is life changing and leads to true intimacy (the focus of our desires)
- Our temple is a gift from God
- "Be transformed": Ask HS to redevelop our mind/conscience/sensitivity/biology (miraculous) and give up your rights (least we be given over to our sin)
- "He will rule over you" vs "They kingdom (standard) come"
- Absolute truth has to be re-established
Thank you ladies for bringing true light into these delicate areas and issues 🙏🙏 let's open the discussions more and more 🙏🙏
Wonderful discussion, so needed. Thank you, ladies!
These titles are hilarious!!! Thanks for having these conversations
You’re knocking it out of the park, ladies. Thank you for having the courage to have these talks. 👍🏻⛓💥
I understand what you're trying to achieve however I don't think the great cloud of witnesses idea is a particularly healthy one. Having others "always watching" is so fear based and it might stop people masturbating but at what cost? There are definitely other, healthier, less shame-inducing ways to get alongside young people as they navigate these topics.
This series would be great for a CD.
Thank you so much ladies for these videos , it has answered quite a number of questions that had about this topic.
I think masturbation can be an emotional / physical outlet without being sexual. The act can be a way of processing personal emotions and trying to process life rather than anything sexual. I think the sin is not allowing the Comforter to be the one source of Comfort. Unfortunately most of Christianity is teach people to be good and / or better people and not God fearing. Dealing with deep emotions and anger towards yourself and God.
So appreciate these videos and your hearts. I'd love for a man prospective on these topics. I find not many talk about this stuff and it would be great to hear a man talk through this as well.
Look for to more talks at the Stark's table.
Totally agree
I just did.
Yes you are soo right we to have to have better ways in teaching people how to respect our body and each other you ladies are nailing it
Phenomenal discussion, thank you for being bold enough to have this discussion publicly \0/
I've been struggling with both but only do it once every other month . Both masturbation and porn are wrong. I feel it in my spirit after and I can't forgive myself. I confess beg forgiveness. And hopefully as the bible says confess your sins to one another. I confess mine. James 5:16: “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”
Yes, God showed me they Holy Spirit discernment, and prayer, that masturbation and definitely Porn are wrong in a Jesus Followers’ life! Period. We are to walk holy lives, of course we mess up, but that’s where repentance comes in. Pursuing godliness not Self is vital for our walk with Him🔥🙌🏻🔥
Thank you. Joined it late. So back to the beginning now.
So helpful .
What about little children touching themselves. No one talks about their innocent curiosity and how to deal with it in a loving way
10:15 This was NEVER a male vs female issue. Even in the previous generations women were no less likely to play with themselves than men across all age groups. It was only the much greater shame that kept women from buying magazines and videos. And now that greater anonymity through smart phones became ubiquitous online tracking data (e.g. Google Analytic cookies) found that more than 50% of traffic is going to phones owned by women (men tend to use PCs more). This was confirmed by polling. For example, college age women reported using their phones for erotic content more than their male peers.
And this isn't to say women from older generations went without. Firstly, the large majority of men, including myself, never bought/rented a magazine, video..., and since under age, nearly 100% of boys didn't either. They only came across them (e.g. found a stash or a friend that shared them). Secondly, both boys and girls who didn't come across such material before the age of the internet & smart phones turned to fantasy, which is the same thing. In this context it doesn't matter if an erotic scene is being imagined or viewed during your alone time activities. It's a distinction without a difference. Plus women from older generations turned far more to "romance" novels, again, to accomplish the same end result.
In conclusion, for 1000s of years, long before not only the internet and smart phones, but before photos or other media, virtually all people (men and women) have been getting themselves off. The only reason that p*rn was temporarily bought/rented overwhelmingly by men is because the immense shame prevented women from going to a local store and buying it. And to be clear, the same shame also kept the large majority of men from doing the same. But once smart phones, coupled with the internet, allowed for far more anonymity, young women have reached parity with young men. Older women are still playing with themselves as much as older men, but using their imaginations, "romance" novels and so on. In short, women aren't enjoying themselves and helpful media all of the sudden just because it's now hip. They were always doing it at the same rates as men, and the internet simply gave them a more private and anonymous access to also view media rather than using their imaginations, novels and so on.
Yes it has always been sin to masturbate. It’s just now it’s a sin that is more accepted. That is Satan’s plan. Desensitize us to sin and make sin acceptable. But sex was only given by God as a wedding gift. God created sex for a married couple to love each other and then be intimate. Masturbation is sin. Self control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit and if people were truly seeking God they would discover His holiness and they would want to come out of the corruption of lust and into His Kingdom of godliness.
What about sex in marriage that leans on past pornography images and movies? I feel that’s what is happening today a lot. When one partner was involved in pornography and then expects the other partner to fulfill his/her fantasies from these images???
My opinion is that this really is an intimacy and marriage killer today
Besides morality this is also a justice issue. Much of pornography is exploiting and coercing the people who made it, and many people are forced into the sex industry against their will in modern slavery.
These talks are going to be part of my "the talk" with my kids. I so deeply wish I would've known all this
Great insightful chat, l have never heard before. Thanks a lot.
FATHER BLESS PROTECT AND DEFEND ALL YOUR PROPHETS & APOSTLES, Evangelist, Pastor’s & Teacher’s.
SEND YOUR GLORY THROUGH THEIR WORDS .
MAY YOUR KINGDOM COME AND THY WILL BE DONE ON EARTH AS IN HEAVEN
extremely important topic you bring up in plenum!! fantastic keep it up
Blessings women of God, thank you for this much needed teaching!
Really good because it prevents lust relationships that fail
This is great! Thanks so much
Can you talk about the demonic realm related to this topic re. ‘spirit spouse’ ‘spirit of lust’ etc
They’re bad and should be repented of!
Marriage bed is undefined…..if medical situations..so approach this situation differential..
How can I find out more about your counseling services? Thank you 🙏🏻
👏🏽 courage & biblical truth!
Thank you for sharing
Thank you all
13:45 The idea that anything that serves self is of the kingdom of darkness seems overbroad to me. So if i eat an icecream cone, this could only be defined the same way and thus would be sinful. Sorry Baskins and Robbins your organization is now blacklisted as sinful in christendom. I'm sure one can make arguments for masturbation being a sin, just as one can make arguments against this. One overarching question that should be asked, since it is such a universal behaviorism, why wasn't it directly addressed in the bible in plain language as was stealing, killing and lying? Does it fit within all things are lawful but not all things are expedient? Connecting it to lust would make the activity wrong, but really then it is the lust aspect that is wrong in that case.
Hmmm, okay. That was a lot of words just to tell us that you like masturbating and would like a way to be able to justify it not being wrong. We’re not going to argue that with you Grant.
I can explain why. Because the way of thinking about things in this culture and this time was that if you shouldn’t do A then since that comes first can you consider B-Z acceptable? No of course not. You can’t get to 2 without 1 first. So for Jesus in context if He says no to sexual immorality then the only thing He approves is the one situation that He does not consider sexual immorality which is one husband and one wife, coming together in love.
Sorry by personalizing your response by attacking me you demonstrate a lack of professionalism and courtesy. It's better to behave like a christian that you claim to be and stick to the narrative otherwise you come across as immature and lacking in substance in your response. I guess you aren't used to push back and become defensive when someone wants you to defend your viewpoints with definitive support. Maybe you have a wee bit of excess pride that needs to be dealt with?@@propheticscots
Our society is not sin conscience it is me me selfishness.
The word says for us not to mention what people do in the darkness. It's not surprising that you were desensitized by reading about it.
Emma ty! I'm a recent widow of two teenage boys!!! AAAHHHHH!
LOL! You've got your hands full!
Well done!!!
How can I get in touch with Emma ??
Kingdom of God we have given up our rights.
Kingdom of this world self before God.
Lord, transform my mind, in Jesus' name. 🙏🏾
Well, I waited, and waited, and waited again. Now I am 66 and never married. Does it even matter now? God will without no good thing. Maybe marriage ahd sex is not good for me?
Withhold not without.
You should go out and find someone
Try a Christian matchmaking service
Hi carol - I’m 38 and single it’s difficult to find a mate I know :-(
I believe it has so much to do with identity in Christ ..and I am old but, we were never taught to realize how precious that identity is ..only those with clean hands and a pure heart(conscious)..will ascend the hill of the Lord.
Thank you
Oh my word, can I use that... I serve God because He created orgasim.... Bwhahahahaha loved that.. Giggle giggle....
Oh my goodness and the cloud of witnesses.. Oh my... Jesus in the Room.... I'm also aware of the Angels.... My my my
I went through a time recently guys were on my mind constantly I was well and truly in the flesh and it was for real at church online with Glasgow prophetic i was freaking out about how I was feeling and the lord just said to me its common to man and It freed me so much ......I thought I was seriously backsliding but no the lord just stated facts to me x
We could get married @penny hughes
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Should be men discussing this too
Now your getting to the root..it's not about sex..it's all about mind control and alteration of your brain thoughts and subconscious
Hello from Nova Scotia🇨🇦❤️
Good Morning blessings in JESUS
As in the Days of Noah.
Darkness covers the earth, gross darkness the people.
Lots daughters were engaged to be married in Sodom. The scripture says that these 2 men laughed when the angels told them that the city was about to be destroyed by God. Why did they "laugh"? I think because extreme sin can become the norm easily and so people accept it and can't even see it for the evil it is.
Is lost of the flesh sin doing self sex
Far too unbalanced and simplistic.
Firstly, there SHOULD be a man on the panel because ONLY a man knows truly how a man feels and…
Secondly, what would they say to a man in his 20s or 30s whose wife has become paraplegic due to an accident? What is he meant to do?
Really not impressed… the Bible is quite clear on fornication and homosexuality so why isn’t it as clear on masturbation if it’s a sin? It would be interesting getting their feedback based on my example.
Disabled paralysed does not mean no sex. They can have a healthy sex life
👏👏👏
ADULATRY IS DEMON, FORNICATION IS DEMON
Did you happen to notice your keyboard can also write lower-case letters? Just curious.
You've come up with a new demon, "adultatry", which is a blend of idolatry (worshipping something other than God), and adultery. Is this possibly a two-headed demon?
And just out of curiosity, which one are you?
DO NOT GRIEVE HOLY SPRIT DO NOT CONTINUE SAME SIN THOSE RECEIVE FIRE HOLY SPRIT, HELL IS REAL MATTHEW CHP 1O VERSE 28 , UNDERSTAND,
Thank you for that great word of encouragement!!
DO NOT MARRIAGE UNBELIEVER AND FUTURE PROBLEM RUTH CHP 1 VERSE 1,,,
România
sorry ladys its not spontaneous with men i am a man i don't find it spontaneous you are mistaken
Teach me how to love purity God 😌
Masturation is now taught in primary schools in Scotland, children are told it's good for them!
It's an Evil Alter and needs to be destroyed. Take it into the courts.
Sounds like a great idea, but have you ever been there yourself? Assuming you have, who all is present where you went? What was the verdict? Did you see the execution of the verdict in physical reality?
what's bad about masturbation?
im 44 single and perimenopause my vagina is changing i need to" take care "of it or I will lose feeling 😔 i would like to be married
@Susan Throop hi sorry I don't understand the question
@@pennyhughes3671 would you like to get married with me?
@Susan Throop Be honest, are you a robot or a lawyer?
Hi Penny, there are also men with this same concern. It started with an emotional event where I lost interest in sex, but immediately became a physical condition that made me question if I would ever be able to have sex. Masturbation is the only method I have found that has slowly reversed the condition.
This would be a good candidate for the category of "the grace space" that was mentioned.
Texas USA
Nothing. I'm shocked by this nonsense. And even more by those in agreement.
PRIVATE PART OPEN THE DOOR SPRITUAL ,
Emma Stark is incapable of saying anything that has any substance in it. Verbose bellowing speech isn't edifying, to anyone.
Thanks for that edifying contribution! 😘 Bless you!
Unfortunately, at this time, your contributions are far from edifying. Furthermore, as a result of your very public contributions, you have come under the scrutiny of Christians the whole world over, who are alarmed and dismayed by the distorted and biblically empty content of your contributions. We hope, however, that you will see the light and change your current ways. That said, we want you to be blessed in every way possible.