Vertical Marriage: A Christ-Focused Partnership of Personal Transformation

MESSAGE OUTLINE.
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A vertical marriage is a Christ-focused partnership of personal transformation. It is a husband and wife loving God and one another, while living in expectation of the return of the Bridegroom.
I. RADIANT BRIDE
The desire of Jesus is: to present the bride to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
II. SELF AWARENESS
If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.
Self-awareness is one of the most accurate reflections of God-awareness.
1.The more I know Him, the more I know me.
2. Authenticity is our friend. Not always comfortable, but always fruitful.
3. God will bring up the worst in you to bring out the best in you.
When God earmarks something in my life for a season on the “potter’s wheel”, it’s not optional. He is lovingly, unrelenting to transform me. It may be an area in my life that I would prefer to keep hidden away.
III. RELATIONAL WALLS *
The Wall of Isolation - Rather than choosing to be vulnerable with our feelings, we keep them to ourselves.
The Wall of Denial - Every problem or conflict has something to do with ME. Healthy resolution can only come about when both people take responsibility for their portion.
The Wall of Withdrawal - This represents the tendency to run away instead of dealing with the issues. Fighting is actually a natural consequence of two very different people becoming one. Failing to engage in hard conversations builds up a dam of inner dialogue.
The Wall of Displacement - This is taking out your negative emotions on someone who doesn’t deserve them.
The Wall of Invalidation - This is when we fail to recognize, acknowledge, speak out, or communicate the good things in the people around us. It’s NOT saying something when we should.
The Wall of Fantasy - Fantasy is not only sexual, but anything we use to escape from the reality of life. Bottom line: Fantasy allows for something less important to take the place of what’s most important - your marriage.
G. The Wall of Passive-Aggressive - Passive-aggressive is when we fail to use words but default to indirect, negative behaviors. The pattern here is that your words don’t match your actions.
H. The Wall of Rage - Rage is anger 2.0 - "off the charts anger." Anger is a “secondary emotion.” Deep down, underneath the anger, is another emotion, connected to some kind of pain.
IV. UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
You will never feel whole in the presence of your mate if you don’t feel whole standing alone.
What relationships can’t do:
Relationships cannot erase your insecurities.
Relationships cannot give you purpose.
V. DATING INWARD
Dating inward requires a shift in thinking that puts the focus on who you are rather than whom you are with.
We look for the perfect mate not realizing that we have neglected the perfecting of ourselves.
VI. DEVELOP A VISION FOR YOUR LIFE
The bigger picture: your story has far more to do with finding God’s unique calling and purpose for your life than it does with finding the love of your life.
“The best romantic relationships are discovered when we approach them like we do all other friendships - as opportunities to invest in the people that God has placed in our lives, while allowing them to invest in us.” (Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship - Debra Fileta)
VII. “TRUE LOVE” vs “NEED LOVE”
Need love fools 2 empty people into thinking that they can fill one another up but in the end fulfillment never comes. They feel more and more depleted, and their needs grow even greater in the shadow of this false love.
VIII. TIMELINE OF TRANSFORMATION
We are making the decision in marriage, to fully support, intercede for, and encourage, one primary person on their journey through life. And we are relying on them, to do the same for us.
IX. PARTNERSHIP IN THE GOSPEL
I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. Phil. 1:3-5
It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart and, whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. Phil. 1:7-8
* Source Material on “Walls”: Choosing Marriage, Debra Fileta.
LINK TO PDF MESSAGE NOTES: mikeandannerizzo.com/wp-conten...

[@suzyjoy3197]

Great word, Pastor!