Being awakened by a narcissist can be a tremendous gift. Their disrespect, their using, their empty souls, their pointlessness behaviour is their living hell. I thank god everyday that lm not a narcissist. Being a empath if l am truely tapped in to my own well being, means l get to experience human kindness, true love, self acceptance, self love. Paula you touch on their paranoia, l believe that they can’t experience true love, at best they get a power fix from feeling superior, and the illusion of power and control. They are basically shut out of love, they live in darkness anything else they claim to have or be is fabrication. The empath is the only light they have. I always remind myself that they need me far more than l need them. When they leave l don’t seek revenge because l get to be me, they have to be them. I know what ld prefer and it’s not them. Always choose yourself, good relationships never ask us to choose between our own well being and connection. We can have both and deserve both but the choice is always ours.
Fellow empaths: "Do not cast your pearls before swine". Hold your boundaries, and after any narcissistic abuse, heal with compassion and redirect your empathy toward a world that desperately needs it." God bless you all 🙏
When I started to complain about my narc’s lack of affection she told me that if I kept digging I would find a monster in her. There were a few other hints she gave me like “I don’t want you to get hurt” and “I suddenly realised that you were the one”. “ If it doesn’t work out can we still be friends” At the time I did not realise or want to see what those things meant.
Ooooh they didnt expect it. My goodness, theres only so much we can take. It's when we cut off any care, cold, that's when its game over for them with us .. that's when we see them go into the saddest depletion.. its soooooo sad, looking at them online, how utterly utterly depleted they become .. but they did it to themselves and cared nothing .. NOTHING .. for the damage they did to us, with ZERO remorse
Figures, mine is trying harder??? While our divorce is still in process. Not sure what he's got on that mind of his. Still, love bombing, again. Exhausted....
"Nobody is to be a servant to another person and not live their own life's purpose". My God. It took me six DECADES to see it, but mark this day, 10/13/23, as the day when I finally "Got It". Thank you, what a GIFT you gave me with that one, powerful, sentence. Thank you, it is now my own personal Mantra! 🥰
What I used to see as kindness on my part I now know was just blood in the water to these land sharks. Now I know that my time and energy are valuable and I will no longer waste them on people that absolutely don't appreciate it. I do have people in my life that I love and that love me in return. They deserve my time and attention. Throwing your energy into serving a narcissist is truly Throwing it into a bottomless pit and in my experience the kinder you are to them the nastier they get. They only respect other bullies. There is something in them that despises the sense of happiness most people enjoy when they are at peace with who they are. I find that through my relationship with God and ultimately trying to be more like the person I know he wants me to be. It's a daily struggle and I fall far short more times than not, however it gives a higher purpose to my life.
I just remembered when my daughter invited me to come over and help her organize her fabrics. I said, sure, fun! But when I got there it was a humongous mess and she just showed me how she wanted it done and left the room! I worked for hours and thought it was a privilege! More than once!!! What a dummy. And now she is treating me absolutely horrible. Soooo many criticisms and accusations. Such grandiose ideas about herself.
@@hanichay1163 , Sounds to me that you're a good and kind mother to her. Not a dummy. I had a mother like you, and I knew she would be easy to use and exploit. Our mother gave my brother and me money to put in the church offering tray before all the children were sent downstairs for Sunday school. One Sunday, my brother said, "Let's take the money and go walk the railroad tracks to the drugstore. We can buy cherry cough drops, and be back in time to meet her at the car." I said, "That's not right. That money is for the church." I was ten, but I knew instinctively that it would be wrong to do untrustworthy things to our mother. I said to myself, "She's too good a person, and I'll never betray her in any way." To this day, I wonder why I was this way, and my brother never felt it. He's still exploitive if he can get away with it, yet we were raised with the same parents and values, in the same church.
I just got so tired of fighting for basic human decency, respect and no more abuse. I did nothing wrong to this person. And that is the what in the hell is wrong with this person moment!
What a great message! So true, the narcissist only sees an empath as someone to exploit in every way possible. However, once pushed too far, the level of strength that re-awakens in an empath has no boundaries. In my case, I immediately started moving forward to get the narcissist out of my life. He is gone now. It is a journey, but when I look in the mirror, now I like the person who's looking back at me. I am thankful for Paula and others like her who dedicate themselves to educating those of us who did not know what we were dealing with or how devastating narcissism can be.
I totally agree!The strength that re awakens is indeed phenomenal, I had the same experience. I find it leads to action in a strong way, where there is a sudden clarity!
The narcissist was so busy plotting that he was oblivious to the fact that I, the empath, had been pushed too far and discovered awareness. I blindsided the narcissist when I went no-contact and permanently escaped the relationship. However, the narcissistic injury that the narcissist suffered made it very dangerous for me for years.
Yes being aware that we are able to cause narcissistic injury is very helpful to good predictive awareness. We all need to really pay attention to our intuition as well for survival.
After 18 years he pushed me too far. He didn't respect me as a woman, wife and mother. I thought to myself; or you accept that forever and never complain again or finally put my boundaries up and end this. It felt like the ultimate test from the universe for me. If this, what he did to me wasn't enough for me to choose for myself I might as well never do so. As soon as I told him this, he would agree (can you believe that) He left within a week to a foreign country with only his suitcase to never come back again. This was such a bizarre experience, like a magician doing his trick and poefff he was gone. Like he died, because I would never see him again. After all I am so happy he left to a far away place to never return. This all happened 4 years ago now. For all you empathic souls out there; I am so happy now, I never thought I could have such a happy and fulfilling life. Please take good care of yourself and set your boundaries, I feels so good to finally not let yourself down again. ❤
'Use your empathy for yourself before you give to others' - this is so true & thank you Paula. This has been a hard lesson for me to learn but I'm starting to understand it now. I guess when you're on an plane you are told to 'put your own oxygen mask on first before you help others' - makes sense really and quite simple. You are such a help and thank you for everything you do.
An empath relives the trauma to the point they shut themselves down and go into deep isolation withdrawl from people. You have the ability to heal yourself and heal others see through other ppl trauma and be very understanding. Whoever going through abusive narcissistic relationship, i'm sending love your way. You will heal and i wish you the happiest and peaceful life you always deserve❤ you can rest now. You have done so much for others. It's time for you to receive great fortune after the abuse. You've been through a lot and i got you.
This is me in the desert now didn't ever want to come back here but have a hard time pulling myself out of it, really I'm stunned, ashamed and scared of being alone ,this is my third narc and it's taken too much,I just came alive ,that intoxicating in love feeling that elixir of youth has left me high and dry and used financially, spiritually spiritual
I've realized in recent years I've started to withdraw after a handful of narcissistic relationships. I've attracted them my whole life. Until recently it never occurred to me that I may be an empath, but most of these relationships began with my feeling deeply for these people, understanding their pain, their challenges in this life & wanting to reach out to them, offer my friendship, love & support. Every one of them left me a wreck & I have struggled through so much guilt and shame at times wondering what is wrong with me. I'm no saint by any means but I am capable of understanding what others are feeling & I feel deeply for them & want to be there for them. I am in my 60's now, I am weary & distrustful of most people. BUT I do have a very small group of people who have responded to my ability to feel for others & they have reciprocated in kind. I met a dear man 10 years ago after being single for almost 20 yrs. I believe he is an empath; we were drawn to each other from day one. My children, my grandchild bring me such joy. I have my small circle & it is enough.
Remember they're unhealed children and proceed accordingly. Don't give your power away to them. Stand strong and continue being the adult and don't let your emotions run the show. My biggest hurdle is mastering my emotions when triggered. A work in progress. Better to observe then respond.
You told my life story... we were together for 36, married 34 years. l put up with so much over the years. when I said I was done, I was done. l could not take anymore. Even though l left, I will always love the man I thought he was. I am a very loving, caring woman who thought I could love him into loving me back. I pray that l will fine a man that loves me as much as I love them. Thank you for these videos. They help me so much.
Paula, thank you for calling this narc sh*t what it is… I always thought about these people as evil, and often experienced somatic symptoms when ever I am around someone who had narc vampire energy. Listening to you feels like listening to the mum I was meant to have… your spirit is so strong Paula, it shines through your eyes and I can sense your healing energy in your voice. I’m in the middle of a divorce at 38 with 2 young children after a 10yr hellish marriage to a narc. I’m a medical student and he is trying to destroy me. This video helped me go to sleep, I mean this in the best possible way… the calmness in your voice was what I needed before sleeping. Thank you ❤❤❤
I've always stood up for the underdogs. I can advocate for someone else, for a neglected or abused animal, but when it comes to speaking up for myself, it's very difficult.
Oh WOW! I've been talking to my husband about this exact thing. If it's someone else or an animal there is no hesitation, if it's me I can't. I shake I feel nauseous at the thought. After weeks of trying to figure out why I realized that I never dealt with the brutal physical and mental abuse I endured as a child. I was focused on getting on with my life and never acknowledged the damage it did to me. Now I'm focusing on acknowledging and healing from it and I really think it's helping.
They actually steal the use of your NO. Early in the entanglement you can't say no to them, in fact why would you. Then in the discard you can't say NO either, because nobody will believe you. It's a sick game.
Wow I am just coming across this video now and it exactly explains my relationship and current situation. I started standing up for myself and told him that he's been hurting me, and I was compelled to be honest and just. I couldn't live with myself accepting being mistreated! And so I tried to explain to him what I have been going through and also I told him I was confused about things in our relationship. We ignored me and when I continued to tell him he told me that I was attacking him 🤯 I couldn't believe it. He told me that we need a break because I feels attacked and he's been treating me like a princess 🤯 Meanwhile I have had the silent treatment over and over, and each time I thought he was gone forever and I would beg for him to speak with me. Well once I stood up for myself he disappeared. It's 25 days today no contact from him and I have not reached out not once. We were together 2 years so this is a huge shock for me. So painful 😢. But I am staying strong. I am drained, I've aged 5 years at least. Lost some hair. Have been mocked on social media too. I've stayed silent for a long time until recently and just crazy
I'm a sigma empath, and so only tolerate so much crap from a narc then it's game over. When someone can't or won't learn or change, then what can you do with them? All the empathy in the world won't work or help. It's pathetic, stupid, and horrible but is reality regarding narcissists. So must dump them, turn your back on them. Btw, empaths need knowledge and need to be informed and educated about themselves as an empath, so as not to be overwhelmed as an empath. Great video!
Just a followup...you are full of WISDOM about this subject Paula...it's like a fountain of wisdom as I listen to what you're saying in this video. And it's so true about empathy in this world...just imagine if you took the current level of empathy collectively that there is about you now in the world and DOUBLED it. As you say, it would result in more kindness, more goodness, less war and violence and crime etc. amongst Humanity. Absolutely would happen.
Never heard of Sigma empath. That’s me for sure. I’m generous and feel for the hardships of others but if I detect bs then it’s not going to go well with that person.
The Narc doesn't care. Husband, wife, child, mother, father, friend, it's all the same. their not evil, they don't comprehend empathy, compassion.. The natural deep loving bond is a mystery to them. Whatever you do don't feel sorry for them. They don't care, never did and never can. Life is always better without someone who lies to you. Thanks Paula. x
My brother is a full scale narc it makes me feel sick. He actually spoke to my recently a said he's still seeing the girl he was dating I feel so sorry for her? And he said he's a victim of my abuse. I feel even more sick that he's created this narrative. He's disgusting to the core. I won't ever see him again he makes me sick to my stomach. A true narc who plays a victim to the core and spins everything around it's vile
Fantastic sentiments. Being involved with a narc is like special forces training.. when you survive the course, your ready for the most challenging of lifes assignments. Into the light my friends.💪😎👍
Thank you. This was a complete walk through my relationship of 10 years with three kids ending in a discard. Her going instantly in to the next supply. Starting to look back I could see the whole trajectory you describe. Finally rejecting to put her on a pedelstal while devalueing me. With no remorse, no empathy for whatever disrespect I had to put up with.. And you say in your description at the end at the discard we gave so much and went through the desert for them. I remembered that earlier this day I thought to myself that during the whole relationship I went through an emotional desert. Sure we get some breadcrumbes and future faking. But on a emotional level the emotional thirst, (meaning experiencing emotional balance) looking back, was never quenched at all walking through that desert. Thank you 🙏and a good healing journey to all!
This is very well written. Emotional desert. I remember feeling starved for attention, touch, relationship. I was also discarded. It's taken decades to come to the surface and find me again. I hope you and your children are well.
Narcissists are drawn to empaths like a MOTH to a FLAME. Empaths end up with a few moth-eaten holes in their clothes to grieve...but the narcissist gets BURNED by their own hellishness.
Empathy is lifes key for humanity.. The ability to feel another's pain and suffering is the start of healing. For we are brother and sister on this Earth. When you show Empathy you carry the key to Rebirth.. When someone feels so Alone in the Dark. You show them Empathy you ignite their Spiritual Spark. They don't feel so alone for your gift of Empathy was saying I will be your home.. All we truly desire on this lifes journey is to be recognised by humanity. To feel we are all united together on this journey.. We all do fall yet do we hear each others call. Narcissists are children whom are full of withdrawal. Nobody ever seen their pain.. They felt left out and now they have to gain.. Never will they feel vulnerable.. For as young they swallowed a bitter pill.. They never felt true love or Empathy. Maybe due to their family..much like a bully whom was never thought the right way to be.. All they truly desired was Empathy... To see somebody embody what they did always desire turns them into a ravenous Vampire.. For your truth as an Empath does fill them with wrath.. As you make them see that their lack of Empathy is why they are truly lost in the Worldly. They must brake you for their truth to be true. Otherwise this will undo everything whom they are.. Empaths are the worlds shining star.. This is why Empaths and Narcissists do meet and engage.. Empaths are healers and narcissists are full of Rage.. So be thankful for this journey as it should reinforce your inner love and Empathy.. The people whom hurt the most Inyernally are the ones whom want to destroy humanity.. Great video Nár Con.. One of your best... 👍💯❤️
🎯💌 Spot ON once again...I lived it for far too many year's. One of the best things one can do is to 'Remove the audience'. And sadly year's after the fact...that means putting a boundary down for those you love who are still caught up in the narcissists web of lies, manipulation and mind fuckery. One finally reaches a place where you are no longer willing to be a sounding board and a punching bag...all at the same time. Sending lots of love to all 🙏💚💌
Yep, ironically at the end, I also had to learn to be AS UNFEELING BACK towards those people were at the end. (Not to be confused with the loud and proud open treachery they do at the end as in with my case of dealing with THAT too)
I heard Jordan Peterson say something about getting rid of what keeps biting you. My husband pushed me too far months ago and I have my own apartment now... and peace!
We are the TRUE healers in this world. You will heal, and go on to heal others! Praise God, 33 months no contact with narc mother and family! They are just now realizing I am NEVER going back. This is irreparable and eternal. Keep standing in your truth. NEVER GO BACK!
Thank you Paula very much for this wisdom filled video. You have covered so many valid and important points. And you are correct that as empaths we have the gift of empathy. Let's not let the narcissist who take advantage of that ruin it for others is that is a God-given gift. The only person I serve is Jesus Christ.
My narcissist of two and a half years I had has died I saw it in the obituary last Sunday on January 22nd it didn't say the reason for death or anything like that she abused me for a long time it took me a long time to get over but seeing her dead caused me sadness and made me relive a lot of the negative feelings again but I'm fine I'm just going to carry on the way I always carry on I'm a Survivor but what a weird thing that happened in my life and I will never forget this person
That “super nova” moment is COSMIC and of infinite POWER. If you ride it’s wave and harness it’s power, you can literally obliterate a narc from your life. I am a living witness !
I totally agree. It gives you the upper hand and you keep on pressing ahead to achieve great things despite the sad narc. Your success will render them irrelevant.
You have given me an awareness of my Empathic abilities I have never been oblivious to. At 80 yrs of age I’ve only recently realized I’m a person of value and worth. I’ve lived my whole life not knowing where I fit in. I’m mad as hell with the covert narcissist I’m married to and sense my awakening had a complete nervous breakdown but I’m coming back from this awful mental state and now I want revenge and could give a damn what happens to this satanic person I’ve wasted my life giving and giving to.
No deal with my narcissist today. No exception for being my mother, and being demented. The part of her brain that survived is the part that constantly scolds me to get her supply. This decision is permanent.
I can feel and see a narcissist coming a mile away. ❤ I stay clear of them! They can pretend to mirror but the empaths greatest gift is to feel them in the pit of their stomach! Allow your body to be your instincts and your heart your intuition ❤
Brilliant ! Well done Paula. This is an unmatched video. First, to recognize the value and strategic importance of the empath in being a counterbalance for the injustice and darkness in the world is mind boggling. But I'm learning my empathy is a huge asset that must be guarded from some and limited to others. It's not that I'm thinking more highly of myself than I ought to, it's just that I see the vitality and uniqueness, the power and the specialty of this gift. She would have sucked out every ounce of life force in me, but my sense of injustice and ever increasing level of disdain toward the cyclic abuse and maltreatment brought me to the exact point you spoke of, the point of no return. She knew she pushed too hard and too far. I just now realized in the beginning how drained she said she would be from being around people and being empathic was probably true. She was simply mirroring me. What insight! Now to advocate for myself, heal and remain honest and authentic to fulfill my purpose. Now to be empathic and kind to myself. Now to be a force and replicate love and compassion for my fellow humans. GO STRONG!
And when the empathetic person ( your sense of 'justice' point is SO important) realizes their kindness, helpfulness, forgiving & loyal attitude is being exploited & abused, & they declare enough is enough and go no contact, the narc/abuser then resorts to their evil smear-campaign!! But once the empath decides to end it, they do not look back. Any narc/abuser - relative, teacher, friend, parent, partner... knows when its over..and that they will not even get a crumb of pity!! The remorseless narc, the recepient of kindness & care from the empath, does not get sick, but they damage the health of the empaths.
I never heard it referred to before, much less by the name of “supernova” but yes I always described it like a switch that just flips in me. I feel bad for people who can’t find the “switch” because it’s definitely helpful to have for self preservation! I’ve had the misfortune of being in relationships with many narcissists. I didn’t know what that even was until a year ago. I could never understand why they all seemed so different but ended up the same. Now I see it and the why I felt comfortable around them, because of my family. Working things out and I’ve been single for a year now. Last year when the switch flipped I was sitting down and suddenly bolted upright out of my chair and agreed with him that he should leave after hearing it so many times before. He threatened to leave because I asked him to pay his fair share of the bills so I didn’t have to go into any more debt. 6 years of being used and abused and I finally woke up! Everything you said is so spot on! Thank you 😊
That was one of the most painful things was he didn’t trust me, but then I started to realize a lot of the people he had been with in the past were awful people. He used to think I would steal stuff from his filthy apartment. He’d wake up every morning and say he couldn’t find his wallet or he had something missing.
Paula, thanks for helping people in pain. Im still grieving and in pain. I still dont know why she needed to hurt me like she did. Eventhough I really loved her.
We will NEVER KNOW WHY they had to cause us sooo much PAIN, but it's their loss at the end of the day, they had a LOVELY family who loved them but the grass was always greener but one day when that grass is not green ANYMORE they will see what they had was more greener than anything beyond, sad but TRUE.
"I don't know why she needed to hurt me" Please brother, it's gonna take YEARS of studying narcissism very very extensively (HUGE subject, vrryvrry complex, has many nuances), THIS is the single most healing modality. This is how you can find the relationship you need to be in. You have to do the homework. What I did was I started listening to videos w my earbuds in when I was grocery shopping for example. But if I was home, I was listening 16 hours a day. None stop 3 months, And that was just to get started. I am six years in, I plan ongoing to 10 years. But I also know that I'm gonna be doing this for life to reprogram my brain, And subconscious thinking brain. Get to the core of how the narcissist was created going so deep in studying that you are addicted to it, and you're able form your own hypothesis and such bc you've come to know it so well. Turn your experience that is so painful into an experience of, the X amount of years/or months you were,.. *being taught about it* So this way, you can turn it all aroud, that it wasn't all for nothing, you got something good out of it. And in this learn about what it is you're doing,.. Not that you're doing anything wrong, but you know what I mean, where we are too open, where heart on sleeve, including most of us grew up in this. And we have these patterns where it becomes so comfortable when narc stuff starts happening in relationships with partners we go into the mode of 'now I get s do over and I'm gonna do it right' or 'this is what I know and this is familiar', & I'm comfortable with this, so instead learn not to do this sort of thing. I want you to be able to move on to the relationship you were meant to be in Have to be patient. I have to tell you, you really don't know one is not a narcissist for sure until you've known them for 2 years. Gotta break it to you this also means no sex, Do this right and get it done, find love of your life. And know how to evade and dodge red flags & spot those red flags & be strong enough to end it early if seen. Grow your discernment. I'm telling you this because I am 56 & No One Told Me (I wasted my best YEARS, while smokin hott in my badazz prime, not to flex but fr fr) this advice i'm giving you, I don't know your age, As for me, I am probably never going to find what I realize in this day and age is a unicorn/that good older man. I know there are good men out there, Yet I know I am most likely not going to find one. And since I've used so much of My Life struggling from growing up in narcissism and relationships with them and part of my story is I had 50 years of chronic daily headaches/Now I don't have the headaches. But I have just enough time to get prepared for being old and depending on myself. So i'm not going into any relationship, Working on me. Yeah you know if perhaps God happens to send me somebody I'm not lookin for, but no i'm done. I have this one last chance, I got to take it. No time to f around left to waste. Playing catch up on 50 yrs of bs narc 💩 & a 50 yr headache. What i'm saying is don't end up being old and settling with never having that relationship, It's horrible reality,..grew up in terrible home no love. And I will never get to make love like a house on fire like I knew I would and I'm not gonna get it. I thought wrong. Don't do what I did.
Hi , newly awakened Empath here, married to a Covert Narc. I thank you so deeply for your heart & all the info you share. I feel like what it must be to be an eagle soaring high for the first time. Love you for the compassion you exude for us.
I have attracted almost 10 narcissist in my lifetime so I must be a super empath, ugh! These narcs have been family members, friends, spouses, and even in 12 step programs. I walked out of my marriage of one year in 2020 during the pandemic. He was at work when I walked. I had started journaling his behaviors 3 months into the year before marriage. I wish I had trusted my intuition stronger but it was weak. Thank you for your videos, they are very validating and helpful.💌
I left my ex narc in 2020 during the beginning of the pandemic. This was such a stressful time for everyone as our world was so extremely chaotic, but to go through divorce or separation from a narc also is extreme! Kudos to us and the many others. I remember my boss asking me if I wanted to work from home (before he left) and I said, no. I'm a nurse, I'd rather put myself at risk than work from home where ex narc was. Then May 8th 2020 he left, then I asked my boss if I could work from home, lol. When he left the mask was completely off, and I saw how evil he was, absolutely no looking back or regret.
Omg! All of what you said. Especially in AA, narcissist run ramped in those rooms, it's where I met my ex, full blown narcissist, married 10 year's, UGH....WHAT a nightmare! 💀☠️💩🤡👹
@@terrapintravels3829 , you're welcome! Clearly, narcissist are everywhere, right? But, I'll tell ya, I will never go back to those room's, predators, the most vile of manipulators, sex offenders, and more roam those room's, for me? I found them to be a very dangerous place. 💀☠️💩🤡👹
I hurt my back and became quite disabled a few months back. All my narcs revealed themselves at once. Such an eye opener. Snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip. Such a helpful video. So grateful for this video and all the online resources ❤️
Being meek is a superpower, it really strengthen s the spirit in remarkable ways. The power of living in the truth and authenticity of who we are as empaths is incredible. Staying away from the evil dark energy accelerates the healing process and once we awaken and get freed from fear Absolutely amazing things happen. Thank you and God bless you ❤❤❤
It's a lifetime of constant energetic pyscological jabs, shocks to my nervous system that I finally say no more to my mother. I am also recovering from years of toxic relationship abuse. It's me and my dog, nature, the birds. Wired, auto pilot to believe to serve, that I was at fault if I couldn't handle, tolerate crap and constantly forgive, understand them, compassion for their abuse. Learning at 57 to nurture, nourish, re wire to self kindness, self trust. Love ❤ this empowering video. Much gratitude. ❤
More BRILLIANT insight , Paula 🙏❤️❤️ , I think the most fully comprehensive video so far that describes to the core the essence of what we have to deal with ! The single biggest mistake narcs make is to assume we don't have a breaking point ! Because of the lack of respect they also presume we won't have the brains to figure them out , or the guts to ever walk ! WE DO , AND WE WILL !!! 💪🙏❤️
That's a very good point, that the empath's self-protectiveness and sense of justice will be triggered eventually by the predatory nature of the narcissist, and that is often the turning point.
I went through very hard times with my covert ex ,went through very hard times with my covert daughter and son,went through very hard times with the kids malignant cousin,the thing is I'm still hear I'm starting to rebuild my life again and theirs no one in my life now for me to give,iv started looking at what I can do for myself and don't really want anyone in my life right now,I no I'm an empathic person now and I don't think that will ever change,I just no that my own self believe will get me to were I want to be,now I no what narcissism is and that's down to you Paula, your videos on steal kill and destroy were the very 1st that I watched and everything in those videos were exactly what happened to me,it was a shock at the time but started noticing all the narcissists in my life and now I'm healing and learning every day,thanks again Paula great lady with a great heart🌹
I experienced this with a narc friend "so called fake friend" which once we had our last discussion was liberating that he went silent which made the separation simply magical! He finally knew that I wasn't giving once ounce of supply so he moved onto other supplies
I resonate with this so much. Never did I see myself as what I now know as an empath I just knew that I'm always optimistic and if I can help others I will and most times I do even when it's not in my best interest. The narc I was in a relationship with had manipulated, and cheated throughout the entire relationship and I had endured that and took him back but WHEN he started attacking me in regards to my son who was and is a good young man, never had disrespected him or any authoritative person I knew I had to do whatever it took to get rid of him and kick him out of our lives!! Listening to this tells me why I had the strong need and urge to be completely done!!
You know, as I was listening to this, it really hit me in the face. Like a slap in the face. You know the real reason how we get tangled up with these users? These emotional parasites? Because of what we never got what we really needed as children. And, it we had of, we wouldn't even have noticed them. Looked at them or even talked to them. We needed emotionally mature parents or caregivers who weren't still trying to fix themselves as adults. My mother never was an adult. An emotionally mature adult. I know that's true now based on my hours of remembering my relationship with her and her old family she never confronted about their alcoholism. She never let it go or faced it. Faced them about it. I was adopted and Im so disappointed in them as who I got stuck with. I am not ashamed for somone else's fears. People do avoid them and the people who gave it to them. I'll admit it. I despised every one of them for hiding their parents irresponsibility and unnaccountability as parents to 2 innocent children. My mother and her brother who felt entitled to take out their pain, their shame, and their hate on me. Thats how a scapegoat is made. Taking all the pain of the real problems they refused to confront by themselves, with each other.. These people are not brave. They are wimps who skirt around the Real problem. Their parents abuse of them. I don't even think they're even smart enough to even figure that out. They just hide it behind their false image of perfection It never goes away and empaths, dont carry it any longer for them. When my mother passed, her house was haunted. I had to sell it to get rid of that secret dark energy. It has sat for 5 years after I sold it. Unsold. Hmmm. And Ive given away and sold most all of her props. People will go around the world to avoid their shame. To not face what it is. But do they even know they're carrying it? Are they conscious of it? To me, that unawareness is where some tricky things do come in. Take advantage of that fear. And that is why your mental stability is critical for your spiritual protection. If someone in your life is hurting your feelings and using your guilt, it is best you just tell them to leave ypu alone. For the rest of your life. Because they will take you down with them. Because they will never let anyone put them down again. These people are only a real drag on your life. And you see that. But aren't they so nice to everybody else. Nope. Its all an act. 😊
You're doing wonderful and amazing, selfless work Paula..and don't assume for a minute that we the many don't recognize your own personal suffering...I respect you so much! 💚💌
For years this went on with me ,I did not know what narcicissim was ?? Soul destroying evil 😈 I had that supernova ,lightbulb ,moment Got out divorced ,he got the shock of his life , came and went ,right through mine and my children's lives for years . This community, Paula you have helped me recover ,understand more and more of this evil , Thank you and God bless you Explained to us all in the easiest understanding ,no bullshit way 💕💕💕
He expressed his hope that we could have a friendship one day right before I went no contact. What a fool. There's not a chance in hell that I would ever allow such a destructive monster back into my life.
Be better not bitter I've heard a strong and beautiful lady say An empath no doubt will figure it out There is no time today No more for the demon that keeps your mind screaming in so many ugly freaking ways Be better not bitter I've heard a brilliant strong and beautiful lady say 🙏
I was pushed too far. It made me feel angry, disrespected and when I stood up for myself it mad me sad to see how little she actually cared about me. A few weeks of back and forth, one apology email where at the end she eluded to falling out of love. Then weeks of silence, then came back to state her life was in shambles and then when I responded with concern she was loving and then when I tried to address her contributions she discarded me so coldly and blamed me for the ending. Stating “Love was not enough”…
Thank you. This overwhelming sense of injustice is what saved me. On all levels. Now I use my empathy as the superpower that it is. I don’t waste it on parasites and lost causes. And I found peace and happiness. It was the ultimate test though… much love to all the wonderful souls in this community ❤
I will never eat their food again. I can go and find my own food and feed myself. Hope they all heal one day. It's sad to see their behavior unfolding in front of our eyes and they don't see any wrong with themselves. I'm not perfect and I know that. I went supernova and not proud of it but I have forgiven myself, it helps knowing I will not eat their poison again. Bless you all
Your videos have help me realize why I went through the things I did. I had no idea what a narcissist was or that they truly existed until listening and watching your videos. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me realize I am not alone. When he started accusing me I things I had not done and calling me a liar that was the straw that broke the camels back. I was so angry and when he wanted to talk about it I would not. He told me he had to be number one and I was so furious I told him I was done. It was 2020 after twenty plus years in a relationship. I was going to the store for him every week and getting his groceries because of covid. He was retired and I was still working. He got mad at me the night before for not listening to him go on and on about politics. I told him I was tired and then he started raging at me and hung up. The next day when I called him he started accusing me of all kinds of madness. I had had enough. I thought he had lost his mind. I still was broken hearted but I felt a real freeing feeling all over and knew I had done the right thing for myself. I did not realize I had been in a narcissist relationship all those years until I started watching you videos. Thank you for all you do to help us. Truly from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.
Thanks for this. A lot of people experience narcissistic abuse in very subtle ways that takes a long time to recognize rather than experiencing obvious events that are unmistakable. It took me a long time to realize that for some of my friends, I was just there to be "talked at" since I always listen and take an interest in what is going on with them, support them on their dreams and goals, and try to understand what makes them tick. However, with quite a few of them (it's gotten worse lately) I eventually realized that the reverse is not true. They zone out when I talk about anything that isn't about them, they ask no questions, and ultimately draw the conversation back to them. I am being used. When I see this pattern occurring, I put up a boundary so that I don't end up getting hurt.
I had a "friend" like this for years. I secretly referred to myself as the big ear in our relationship b/c that is all I was. She talked incessantly, barely catching a breath. If I tried to participate in the conversation, she picked up her phone & made a call, read a text, screamed at her children, got up to wash the dishes, anything but let me have input or participate in the conversation, it was so frustrating & exhausting. One day she asked me what I really thought about an interaction she had with another person, I told her what I really thought, she discarded me immediately, never spoke to me again. I was so relieved, so glad to be rid of her.
In my case, when my ex narc knew that night I meant business during another one of his manifestations of a demon(s) and he knew I knew what he was and that I told him to get out of my home(I bought it) but he smeared and smirked and told me in a very confident tone that was cold, and said " I'm not going anywhere, you leave!" Then the abuse just got worse and his drinking and all the while threatening me that if I do.this or that..I'd be paying big money and how he was staying! But now I booted him out with help from police. So evil! Straight from the abyss
So true! I didn't realize it at the time but looking back, yes, whatever resources, skills and the depth and range of my mind and heart occurred TEN FOLD! At the time, breaking up/escaping felt like a radical 'downsizing/compromising and humiliation' BUT now that Paula mentions it, yes, even though I had only sought the most basic Refuge at the time (and miraculously managed that), unwittingly all of those Basics also IMPROVED TEN FOLD at the same time! It didn't feel like that at all at the time but the improvements are showing up now - give or take about 3 years later.
Thank you SO much for this. This is the first time in my consuming narc abuse education, trying to make sense of these serial narcs I’ve had in my life that I have felt hope. Everything about the narc dynamics has felt so very hopeless. But I so related to how you said that my sense of justice/injustice kicked in, and I started to protect myself. (Much to my narc’s dismay). I know I’ve been an empath for a while. My sister called it my « freak flag », and for a while I really thought something was wrong with me. Over time I’ve learned what and how I was. And I’m glad I am this way. I have the chance to really have a beautiful and meaningful life, once I heal from this. Thank you very much for the hope.
I believe that the empath needs to remain aware of ongoing attempts by the narcissist. Letting go is imperative because there is loss and I think the empath knows when it is time to "let go and let God". Letting go and trusting actually lifts the burden of caring and begins healing, freedom and joy. Difficult? Yes. But with God all things are possible.
Being awakened by a narcissist can be a tremendous gift. Their disrespect, their using, their empty souls, their pointlessness behaviour is their living hell. I thank god everyday that lm not a narcissist. Being a empath if l am truely tapped in to my own well being, means l get to experience human kindness, true love, self acceptance, self love. Paula you touch on their paranoia, l believe that they can’t experience true love, at best they get a power fix from feeling superior, and the illusion of power and control. They are basically shut out of love, they live in darkness anything else they claim to have or be is fabrication. The empath is the only light they have. I always remind myself that they need me far more than l need them. When they leave l don’t seek revenge because l get to be me, they have to be them. I know what ld prefer and it’s not them. Always choose yourself, good relationships never ask us to choose between our own well being and connection. We can have both and deserve both but the choice is always ours.
Thank you so much for your input! Very wise and spot on
Fellow empaths: "Do not cast your pearls before swine". Hold your boundaries, and after any narcissistic abuse, heal with compassion and redirect your empathy toward a world that desperately needs it." God bless you all 🙏
I used to think the narcissist was damaged or a victim of sorts of some horrible emotional trauma. But, now I see him as the monster he really is.
They are traumatised monsters 😛
When I started to complain about my narc’s lack of affection she told me that if I kept digging I would find a monster in her. There were a few other hints she gave me like “I don’t want you to get hurt” and “I suddenly realised that you were the one”. “ If it doesn’t work out can we still be friends” At the time I did not realise or want to see what those things meant.
They play the wounded bird so well
Oh God yes a absolute monster from the pit of hell
@@peaceandjoytoalldefinitively.
Ooooh they didnt expect it. My goodness, theres only so much we can take. It's when we cut off any care, cold, that's when its game over for them with us .. that's when we see them go into the saddest depletion.. its soooooo sad, looking at them online, how utterly utterly depleted they become .. but they did it to themselves and cared nothing .. NOTHING .. for the damage they did to us, with ZERO remorse
🕯️
Figures, mine is trying harder??? While our divorce is still in process. Not sure what he's got on that mind of his. Still, love bombing, again. Exhausted....
No contact shocks them but then they resort to smear-campaigning!! Indeed...no remorse. No accountability for their words and behaviour!!
Yes zero remorse,empathy make everyone coldand cruel,it's really like another reality
They all evil with demonic attachments incapable satan has them possessed they are controlled by him
Narcissists can't give respect when it is deserved.
You could have stopped at respect .😊
You're catching on huh🤔....watch em👈. Seriously watch them 🤞
The narcissist never knew the true value of the gem they had in their hands 💎
They are vicious Lions
"Nobody is to be a servant to another person and not live their own life's purpose".
My God. It took me six DECADES to see it, but mark this day, 10/13/23, as the day when I finally "Got It".
Thank you, what a GIFT you gave me with that one, powerful, sentence. Thank you, it is now my own personal Mantra! 🥰
What I used to see as kindness on my part I now know was just blood in the water to these land sharks. Now I know that my time and energy are valuable and I will no longer waste them on people that absolutely don't appreciate it. I do have people in my life that I love and that love me in return. They deserve my time and attention. Throwing your energy into serving a narcissist is truly Throwing it into a bottomless pit and in my experience the kinder you are to them the nastier they get. They only respect other bullies. There is something in them that despises the sense of happiness most people enjoy when they are at peace with who they are. I find that through my relationship with God and ultimately trying to be more like the person I know he wants me to be. It's a daily struggle and I fall far short more times than not, however it gives a higher purpose to my life.
I just remembered when my daughter invited me to come over and help her organize her fabrics. I said, sure, fun! But when I got there it was a humongous mess and she just showed me how she wanted it done and left the room! I worked for hours and thought it was a privilege! More than once!!! What a dummy. And now she is treating me absolutely horrible. Soooo many criticisms and accusations. Such grandiose ideas about herself.
@@hanichay1163 , Sounds to me that you're a good and kind mother to her. Not a dummy. I had a mother like you, and I knew she would be easy to use and exploit. Our mother gave my brother and me money to put in the church offering tray before all the children were sent downstairs for Sunday school. One Sunday, my brother said, "Let's take the money and go walk the railroad tracks to the drugstore. We can buy cherry cough drops, and be back in time to meet her at the car." I said, "That's not right. That money is for the church." I was ten, but I knew instinctively that it would be wrong to do untrustworthy things to our mother. I said to myself, "She's too good a person, and I'll never betray her in any way." To this day, I wonder why I was this way, and my brother never felt it. He's still exploitive if he can get away with it, yet we were raised with the same parents and values, in the same church.
I just got so tired of fighting for basic human decency, respect and no more abuse. I did nothing wrong to this person. And that is the what in the hell is wrong with this person moment!
What a great message! So true, the narcissist only sees an empath as someone to exploit in every way possible. However, once pushed too far, the level of strength that re-awakens in an empath has no boundaries. In my case, I immediately started moving forward to get the narcissist out of my life. He is gone now. It is a journey, but when I look in the mirror, now I like the person who's looking back at me. I am thankful for Paula and others like her who dedicate themselves to educating those of us who did not know what we were dealing with or how devastating narcissism can be.
I totally agree!The strength that re awakens is indeed phenomenal, I had the same experience. I find it leads to action in a strong way, where there is a sudden clarity!
Same here. I am full of energy❤ he is the empty yawning bag now.😅
Amen!
Well said. Ty.
This is a pleasant read laurie
The narcissist was so busy plotting that he was oblivious to the fact that I, the empath, had been pushed too far and discovered awareness. I blindsided the narcissist when I went no-contact and permanently escaped the relationship. However, the narcissistic injury that the narcissist suffered made it very dangerous for me for years.
Hence, while I lied, manipulated with three narc morons in my life. YOu have to leave SAFELY ... never ever tell them what you know!
Leave them safely. Avoid confrontation. Don't tell them what you know. What you learned about them.
Too late.
@@elizabethdg Be safe, take care.
Yes being aware that we are able to cause narcissistic injury is very helpful to good predictive awareness. We all need to really pay attention to our intuition as well for survival.
The empath has an inbuilt radar for injustice in the world❤❤❤
True that
After 18 years he pushed me too far. He didn't respect me as a woman, wife and mother. I thought to myself; or you accept that forever and never complain again or finally put my boundaries up and end this. It felt like the ultimate test from the universe for me. If this, what he did to me wasn't enough for me to choose for myself I might as well never do so. As soon as I told him this, he would agree (can you believe that) He left within a week to a foreign country with only his suitcase to never come back again. This was such a bizarre experience, like a magician doing his trick and poefff he was gone. Like he died, because I would never see him again. After all I am so happy he left to a far away place to never return. This all happened 4 years ago now. For all you empathic souls out there; I am so happy now, I never thought I could have such a happy and fulfilling life. Please take good care of yourself and set your boundaries, I feels so good to finally not let yourself down again. ❤
This is currently where I’m at. Feel like I’m beating the final level. Hope you’re doing well✝️💛
'Use your empathy for yourself before you give to others' - this is so true & thank you Paula. This has been a hard lesson for me to learn but I'm starting to understand it now. I guess when you're on an plane you are told to 'put your own oxygen mask on first before you help others' - makes sense really and quite simple. You are such a help and thank you for everything you do.
Thanks Robert look after yourself 🌹
Seems fair after a lifetime of trying to take care of someone else's wants all the time who rejects your efforts anyway. 🤔
An empath relives the trauma to the point they shut themselves down and go into deep isolation withdrawl from people. You have the ability to heal yourself and heal others see through other ppl trauma and be very understanding. Whoever going through abusive narcissistic relationship, i'm sending love your way. You will heal and i wish you the happiest and peaceful life you always deserve❤ you can rest now. You have done so much for others. It's time for you to receive great fortune after the abuse. You've been through a lot and i got you.
Thank you
This is me in the desert now didn't ever want to come back here but have a hard time pulling myself out of it, really I'm stunned, ashamed and scared of being alone ,this is my third narc and it's taken too much,I just came alive ,that intoxicating in love feeling that elixir of youth has left me high and dry and used financially, spiritually spiritual
I've realized in recent years I've started to withdraw after a handful of narcissistic relationships. I've attracted them my whole life. Until recently it never occurred to me that I may be an empath, but most of these relationships began with my feeling deeply for these people, understanding their pain, their challenges in this life & wanting to reach out to them, offer my friendship, love & support. Every one of them left me a wreck & I have struggled through so much guilt and shame at times wondering what is wrong with me. I'm no saint by any means but I am capable of understanding what others are feeling & I feel deeply for them & want to be there for them. I am in my 60's now, I am weary & distrustful of most people. BUT I do have a very small group of people who have responded to my ability to feel for others & they have reciprocated in kind. I met a dear man 10 years ago after being single for almost 20 yrs. I believe he is an empath; we were drawn to each other from day one. My children, my grandchild bring me such joy. I have my small circle & it is enough.
❤️
@@deborahbutynski Healing takes time and care.
Remember they're unhealed children and proceed accordingly. Don't give your power away to them. Stand strong and continue being the adult and don't let your emotions run the show. My biggest hurdle is mastering my emotions when triggered. A work in progress. Better to observe then respond.
They have no interest in healing because apparently it's everyone else's fault!
You told my life story... we were together for 36, married 34 years. l put up with so much over the years. when I said I was done, I was done. l could not take anymore. Even though l left, I will always love the man I thought he was. I am a very loving, caring woman who thought I could love him into loving me back. I pray that l will fine a man that loves me as much as I love them. Thank you for these videos. They help me so much.
🙏🌹
Paula, thank you for calling this narc sh*t what it is… I always thought about these people as evil, and often experienced somatic symptoms when ever I am around someone who had narc vampire energy.
Listening to you feels like listening to the mum I was meant to have… your spirit is so strong Paula, it shines through your eyes and I can sense your healing energy in your voice.
I’m in the middle of a divorce at 38 with 2 young children after a 10yr hellish marriage to a narc. I’m a medical student and he is trying to destroy me.
This video helped me go to sleep, I mean this in the best possible way… the calmness in your voice was what I needed before sleeping.
Thank you ❤❤❤
They are demonic and evil. It’s never a happy ending with these folks.
Sending love to you and your children. XXOO
God bless you on your journey ❤❤❤
She explains it amazingly well.
I’ve been studying narcissism since 2017 and I still learn something new from everyone of her videos!
I've always stood up for the underdogs. I can advocate for someone else, for a neglected or abused animal, but when it comes to speaking up for myself, it's very difficult.
This really resonates with me.
Oh WOW! I've been talking to my husband about this exact thing. If it's someone else or an animal there is no hesitation, if it's me I can't. I shake I feel nauseous at the thought. After weeks of trying to figure out why I realized that I never dealt with the brutal physical and mental abuse I endured as a child. I was focused on getting on with my life and never acknowledged the damage it did to me. Now I'm focusing on acknowledging and healing from it and I really think it's helping.
They actually steal the use of your NO. Early in the entanglement you can't say no to them, in fact why would you. Then in the discard you can't say NO either, because nobody will believe you. It's a sick game.
insightful. They steal your no.
It’s human trafficking and emotional rape of your divine gifts and energy abd they are sold out scum
They are very pushy or demanding. It’s completely ok to say no . They’ll get pissed of and that’s ok… It’s your life…
Wow I am just coming across this video now and it exactly explains my relationship and current situation. I started standing up for myself and told him that he's been hurting me, and I was compelled to be honest and just. I couldn't live with myself accepting being mistreated! And so I tried to explain to him what I have been going through and also I told him I was confused about things in our relationship. We ignored me and when I continued to tell him he told me that I was attacking him 🤯
I couldn't believe it. He told me that we need a break because I feels attacked and he's been treating me like a princess 🤯 Meanwhile I have had the silent treatment over and over, and each time I thought he was gone forever and I would beg for him to speak with me. Well once I stood up for myself he disappeared. It's 25 days today no contact from him and I have not reached out not once. We were together 2 years so this is a huge shock for me. So painful 😢. But I am staying strong. I am drained, I've aged 5 years at least. Lost some hair. Have been mocked on social media too. I've stayed silent for a long time until recently and just crazy
They always think we will come back .And I never do !!
I'm a sigma empath, and so only tolerate so much crap from a narc then it's game over. When someone can't or won't learn or change, then what can you do with them? All the empathy in the world won't work or help. It's pathetic, stupid, and horrible but is reality regarding narcissists. So must dump them, turn your back on them. Btw, empaths need knowledge and need to be informed and educated about themselves as an empath, so as not to be overwhelmed as an empath. Great video!
Just a followup...you are full of WISDOM about this subject Paula...it's like a fountain of wisdom as I listen to what you're saying in this video.
And it's so true about empathy in this world...just imagine if you took the current level of empathy collectively that there is about you now in the world and DOUBLED it. As you say, it would result in more kindness, more goodness, less war and violence and crime etc. amongst Humanity. Absolutely would happen.
The best is yet to come! 🕊️❤️💜❤️🙏🌏
🙏🌹
Never heard of Sigma empath. That’s me for sure. I’m generous and feel for the hardships of others but if I detect bs then it’s not going to go well with that person.
The Narc doesn't care. Husband, wife, child, mother, father, friend, it's all the same. their not evil, they don't comprehend empathy, compassion.. The natural deep loving bond is a mystery to them. Whatever you do don't feel sorry for them. They don't care, never did and never can. Life is always better without someone who lies to you. Thanks Paula. x
Evil, nothing more nothing less, pure evil is what I saw, shook me to my core. Never again Satan!!!!!
They are evil narcissist are demon possessed
Pure evil I'm afraid. Pre mediated, planned evil attacks. And revel in the tragedy they create
They are 100% Evil
They define Evil.
💙In a way, because of them... we met other of our kind... and it's so good not to be alone, and knowing that there are others like us
My brother is a full scale narc it makes me feel sick. He actually spoke to my recently a said he's still seeing the girl he was dating I feel so sorry for her? And he said he's a victim of my abuse. I feel even more sick that he's created this narrative. He's disgusting to the core. I won't ever see him again he makes me sick to my stomach. A true narc who plays a victim to the core and spins everything around it's vile
Thank you Paula. Now I feel better, The Narcissist confuses kindness for weakness. 💕🕊🕊💕
There's a Christian rock song I like where the singer says, "Don't mistake kindness for weakness". 👍
Exactly! And the Empath confuses the Narcissist's control with caring. It took me an embarrassingly long time to finally see it.
🌹 "YOU JUST GAVE ME MY 'SECOND WIND'!"💥
Fantastic sentiments. Being involved with a narc is like special forces training.. when you survive the course, your ready for the most challenging of lifes assignments. Into the light my friends.💪😎👍
Amen❤
Thank you. This was a complete walk through my relationship of 10 years with three kids ending in a discard. Her going instantly in to the next supply. Starting to look back I could see the whole trajectory you describe. Finally rejecting to put her on a pedelstal while devalueing me. With no remorse, no empathy for whatever disrespect I had to put up with.. And you say in your description at the end at the discard we gave so much and went through the desert for them. I remembered that earlier this day I thought to myself that during the whole relationship I went through an emotional desert. Sure we get some breadcrumbes and future faking. But on a emotional level the emotional thirst, (meaning experiencing emotional balance) looking back, was never quenched at all walking through that desert. Thank you 🙏and a good healing journey to all!
This is very well written. Emotional desert. I remember feeling starved for attention, touch, relationship. I was also discarded. It's taken decades to come to the surface and find me again. I hope you and your children are well.
Emotional thirst.... so accurate
Narcissists are drawn to empaths like a MOTH to a FLAME. Empaths end up with a few moth-eaten holes in their clothes to grieve...but the narcissist gets BURNED by their own hellishness.
Empathy is lifes key for humanity.. The ability to feel another's pain and suffering is the start of healing. For we are brother and sister on this Earth. When you show Empathy you carry the key to Rebirth.. When someone feels so Alone in the Dark. You show them Empathy you ignite their Spiritual Spark. They don't feel so alone for your gift of Empathy was saying I will be your home.. All we truly desire on this lifes journey is to be recognised by humanity. To feel we are all united together on this journey.. We all do fall yet do we hear each others call. Narcissists are children whom are full of withdrawal. Nobody ever seen their pain.. They felt left out and now they have to gain.. Never will they feel vulnerable.. For as young they swallowed a bitter pill.. They never felt true love or Empathy. Maybe due to their family..much like a bully whom was never thought the right way to be.. All they truly desired was Empathy... To see somebody embody what they did always desire turns them into a ravenous Vampire.. For your truth as an Empath does fill them with wrath.. As you make them see that their lack of Empathy is why they are truly lost in the Worldly. They must brake you for their truth to be true. Otherwise this will undo everything whom they are.. Empaths are the worlds shining star.. This is why Empaths and Narcissists do meet and engage.. Empaths are healers and narcissists are full of Rage.. So be thankful for this journey as it should reinforce your inner love and Empathy.. The people whom hurt the most Inyernally are the ones whom want to destroy humanity.. Great video Nár Con.. One of your best... 👍💯❤️
Thank you Damien so glad to hear from you hope your doing really well 🌹🙋♀️🙏
Eloquence and empathy from Damien 😇
This is my 56 year daughter. No contact.due to severe elder abuse. Phys ical.
That was beautifully said...
They are full of rage.
🎯💌 Spot ON once again...I lived it for far too many year's. One of the best things one can do is to 'Remove the audience'. And sadly year's after the fact...that means putting a boundary down for those you love who are still caught up in the narcissists web of lies, manipulation and mind fuckery. One finally reaches a place where you are no longer willing to be a sounding board and a punching bag...all at the same time. Sending lots of love to all 🙏💚💌
Yep, ironically at the end, I also had to learn to be AS UNFEELING BACK towards those people were at the end. (Not to be confused with the loud and proud open treachery they do at the end as in with my case of dealing with THAT too)
I'm no longer ignorant
Yes!!!
I heard Jordan Peterson say something about getting rid of what keeps biting you. My husband pushed me too far months ago and I have my own apartment now... and peace!
We are the TRUE healers in this world. You will heal, and go on to heal others! Praise God, 33 months no contact with narc mother and family! They are just now realizing I am NEVER going back. This is irreparable and eternal. Keep standing in your truth. NEVER GO BACK!
Thank you Paula very much for this wisdom filled video. You have covered so many valid and important points. And you are correct that as empaths we have the gift of empathy. Let's not let the narcissist who take advantage of that ruin it for others is that is a God-given gift. The only person I serve is Jesus Christ.
🙋♀️🙏
Amen 🙏
Indeed, I found a calm but emphatic’No’ ! Was like garlic to a vampire and I watched as his power over me vanished.
Thank you
You're welcome
My narcissist of two and a half years I had has died I saw it in the obituary last Sunday on January 22nd it didn't say the reason for death or anything like that she abused me for a long time it took me a long time to get over but seeing her dead caused me sadness and made me relive a lot of the negative feelings again but I'm fine I'm just going to carry on the way I always carry on I'm a Survivor but what a weird thing that happened in my life and I will never forget this person
That “super nova” moment is COSMIC and of infinite POWER. If you ride it’s wave and harness it’s power, you can literally obliterate a narc from your life. I am a living witness !
I totally agree. It gives you the upper hand and you keep on pressing ahead to achieve great things despite the sad narc. Your success will render them irrelevant.
You have given me an awareness of my Empathic abilities I have never been oblivious to. At 80 yrs of age I’ve only recently realized I’m a person of value and worth. I’ve lived my whole life not knowing where I fit in. I’m mad as hell with the covert narcissist I’m married to and sense my awakening had a complete nervous breakdown but I’m coming back from this awful mental state and now I want revenge and could give a damn what happens to this satanic person I’ve wasted my life giving and giving to.
No need for revenge. Don’t waste anymore on this person. Draw near to Jesus. He’ll take care of the rest.
No deal with my narcissist today. No exception for being my mother, and being demented. The part of her brain that survived is the part that constantly scolds me to get her supply. This decision is permanent.
I can feel and see a narcissist coming a mile away. ❤ I stay clear of them! They can pretend to mirror but the empaths greatest gift is to feel them in the pit of their stomach! Allow your body to be your instincts and your heart your intuition ❤
OMG.... OMG OMG... SPOT ON.. HE PUSHED ME TOO FAR... And GOD stepped in!!!!! thank you Paula!
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Thank you again
Thank you too!
Brilliant ! Well done Paula. This is an unmatched video. First, to recognize the value and strategic importance of the empath in being a counterbalance for the injustice and darkness in the world is mind boggling. But I'm learning my empathy is a huge asset that must be guarded from some and limited to others. It's not that I'm thinking more highly of myself than I ought to, it's just that I see the vitality and uniqueness, the power and the specialty of this gift. She would have sucked out every ounce of life force in me, but my sense of injustice and ever increasing level of disdain toward the cyclic abuse and maltreatment brought me to the exact point you spoke of, the point of no return. She knew she pushed too hard and too far. I just now realized in the beginning how drained she said she would be from being around people and being empathic was probably true. She was simply mirroring me. What insight! Now to advocate for myself, heal and remain honest and authentic to fulfill my purpose. Now to be empathic and kind to myself. Now to be a force and replicate love and compassion for my fellow humans. GO STRONG!
Perfectly said! Ditto all of it 💫
I love the unmatched ive never seen anyone lay it out like she did here wow
And when the empathetic person ( your sense of 'justice' point is SO important) realizes their kindness, helpfulness, forgiving & loyal attitude is being exploited & abused, & they declare enough is enough and go no contact, the narc/abuser then resorts to their evil smear-campaign!! But once the empath decides to end it, they do not look back. Any narc/abuser - relative, teacher, friend, parent, partner... knows when its over..and that they will not even get a crumb of pity!!
The remorseless narc, the recepient of kindness & care from the empath, does not get sick, but they damage the health of the empaths.
Exactly where I am at now resting in care of myself after so much hurt.
I never heard it referred to before, much less by the name of “supernova” but yes I always described it like a switch that just flips in me. I feel bad for people who can’t find the “switch” because it’s definitely helpful to have for self preservation! I’ve had the misfortune of being in relationships with many narcissists. I didn’t know what that even was until a year ago. I could never understand why they all seemed so different but ended up the same. Now I see it and the why I felt comfortable around them, because of my family. Working things out and I’ve been single for a year now. Last year when the switch flipped I was sitting down and suddenly bolted upright out of my chair and agreed with him that he should leave after hearing it so many times before. He threatened to leave because I asked him to pay his fair share of the bills so I didn’t have to go into any more debt. 6 years of being used and abused and I finally woke up! Everything you said is so spot on! Thank you 😊
Excellent!
My ex narc never saw me coming. I’m a super empath. I had a lot of practice with these jerks over my life.
That was one of the most painful things was he didn’t trust me, but then I started to realize a lot of the people he had been with in the past were awful people. He used to think I would steal stuff from his filthy apartment. He’d wake up every morning and say he couldn’t find his wallet or he had something missing.
Paula, thanks for helping people in pain. Im still grieving and in pain. I still dont know why she needed to hurt me like she did. Eventhough I really loved her.
We will NEVER KNOW WHY they had to cause us sooo much PAIN, but it's their loss at the end of the day, they had a LOVELY family who loved them but the grass was always greener but one day when that grass is not green ANYMORE they will see what they had was more greener than anything beyond, sad but TRUE.
I feel you! ( I'm empathic) wink
A horrible learning lesson, they just don't care. One and done.
Well, its a disorder. Not your fault. You are a bright shining light.❤
"I don't know why she needed to hurt me"
Please brother, it's gonna take YEARS of studying narcissism very very extensively
(HUGE subject, vrryvrry complex, has many nuances), THIS is the single most healing modality.
This is how you can find the relationship you need to be in. You have to do the homework.
What I did was I started listening to videos w my earbuds in when I was grocery shopping for example. But if I was home, I was listening 16 hours a day. None stop 3 months, And that was just to get started. I am six years in, I plan ongoing to 10 years. But I also know that I'm gonna be doing this for life to reprogram my brain, And subconscious thinking brain.
Get to the core of how the narcissist was created going so deep in studying that you are addicted to it, and you're able form your own hypothesis and such bc you've come to know it so well.
Turn your experience that is so painful into an experience of, the X amount of years/or months you were,..
*being taught about it*
So this way, you can turn it all aroud, that it wasn't all for nothing, you got something good out of it.
And in this learn about what it is you're doing,..
Not that you're doing anything wrong, but you know what I mean, where we are too open, where heart on sleeve, including most of us grew up in this. And we have these patterns where it becomes so comfortable when narc stuff starts happening in relationships with partners we go into the mode of 'now I get s do over and I'm gonna do it right' or 'this is what I know and this is familiar', & I'm comfortable with this, so instead learn not to do this sort of thing.
I want you to be able to move on to the relationship you were meant to be in
Have to be patient. I have to tell you, you really don't know one is not a narcissist for sure until you've known them for 2 years. Gotta break it to you this also means no sex, Do this right and get it done, find love of your life.
And know how to evade and dodge red flags & spot those red flags & be strong enough to end it early if seen. Grow your discernment.
I'm telling you this because I am 56 & No One Told Me
(I wasted my best YEARS, while smokin hott in my badazz prime, not to flex but fr fr)
this advice i'm giving you, I don't know your age, As for me, I am probably never going to find what I realize in this day and age is a unicorn/that good older man. I know there are good men out there, Yet I know I am most likely not going to find one.
And since I've used so much of My Life struggling from growing up in narcissism and relationships with them and part of my story is I had 50 years of chronic daily headaches/Now I don't have the headaches. But I have just enough time to get prepared for being old and depending on myself. So i'm not going into any relationship, Working on me. Yeah you know if perhaps God happens to send me somebody I'm not lookin for, but no i'm done.
I have this one last chance, I got to take it. No time to f around left to waste. Playing catch up on 50 yrs of bs narc 💩 & a 50 yr headache.
What i'm saying is don't end up being old and settling with never having that relationship, It's horrible reality,..grew up in terrible home no love. And I will never get to make love like a house on fire like I knew I would and I'm not gonna get it. I thought wrong. Don't do what I did.
Silence is the best medicine for them. Thy get confused. Thinking, why are you not responding to them.
Tables turned, a hard lesson but glad I can rest now.
Good for you.
Hi , newly awakened Empath here, married to a Covert Narc. I thank you so deeply for your heart & all the info you share. I feel like what it must be to be an eagle soaring high for the first time.
Love you for the compassion you exude for us.
You are so welcome
I have attracted almost 10 narcissist in my lifetime so I must be a super empath, ugh!
These narcs have been family members, friends, spouses, and even in 12 step programs.
I walked out of my marriage of one year in 2020 during the pandemic. He was at work when I walked. I had started journaling his behaviors 3 months into the year before marriage. I wish I had trusted my intuition stronger but it was weak. Thank you for your videos, they are very validating and helpful.💌
I left my ex narc in 2020 during the beginning of the pandemic. This was such a stressful time for everyone as our world was so extremely chaotic, but to go through divorce or separation from a narc also is extreme! Kudos to us and the many others. I remember my boss asking me if I wanted to work from home (before he left) and I said, no. I'm a nurse, I'd rather put myself at risk than work from home where ex narc was. Then May 8th 2020 he left, then I asked my boss if I could work from home, lol. When he left the mask was completely off, and I saw how evil he was, absolutely no looking back or regret.
Omg! All of what you said. Especially in AA, narcissist run ramped in those rooms, it's where I met my ex, full blown narcissist, married 10 year's, UGH....WHAT a nightmare! 💀☠️💩🤡👹
@@Healinglove I met 2 ex's in AA glad you can relate. I was a bit frightened to mention AA so I thank you.
@@terrapintravels3829 , you're welcome! Clearly, narcissist are everywhere, right?
But, I'll tell ya, I will never go back to those room's, predators, the most vile of manipulators, sex offenders, and more roam those room's, for me? I found them to be a very dangerous place. 💀☠️💩🤡👹
So true that 12-step rooms as well as churches are magnets for narcissists looking for supply!
I hurt my back and became quite disabled a few months back. All my narcs revealed themselves at once. Such an eye opener. Snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip. Such a helpful video. So grateful for this video and all the online resources ❤️
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This is my situation word for word. Thank you for sharing
You are so welcome
Being meek is a superpower, it really strengthen s the spirit in remarkable ways. The power of living in the truth and authenticity of who we are as empaths is incredible. Staying away from the evil dark energy accelerates the healing process and once we awaken and get freed from fear Absolutely amazing things happen. Thank you and God bless you ❤❤❤
Immense suffering however post-traumatic growth leads to beautiful destinations 😔
Thank you!
You're welcome!
Thank you 💯!
No problem!!
It's a lifetime of constant energetic pyscological jabs, shocks to my nervous system that I finally say no more to my mother.
I am also recovering from years of toxic relationship abuse.
It's me and my dog, nature, the birds.
Wired, auto pilot to believe to serve, that I was at fault if I couldn't handle, tolerate crap and constantly forgive, understand them, compassion for their abuse.
Learning at 57 to nurture, nourish, re wire to self kindness, self trust.
Love ❤ this empowering video. Much gratitude. ❤
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More BRILLIANT insight , Paula 🙏❤️❤️ , I think the most fully comprehensive video so far that describes to the core the essence of what we have to deal with !
The single biggest mistake narcs make is to assume we don't have a breaking point ! Because of the lack of respect they also presume we won't have the brains to figure them out , or the guts to ever walk !
WE DO , AND WE WILL !!! 💪🙏❤️
That's a very good point, that the empath's self-protectiveness and sense of justice will be triggered eventually by the predatory nature of the narcissist, and that is often the turning point.
I went through very hard times with my covert ex ,went through very hard times with my covert daughter and son,went through very hard times with the kids malignant cousin,the thing is I'm still hear I'm starting to rebuild my life again and theirs no one in my life now for me to give,iv started looking at what I can do for myself and don't really want anyone in my life right now,I no I'm an empathic person now and I don't think that will ever change,I just no that my own self believe will get me to were I want to be,now I no what narcissism is and that's down to you Paula, your videos on steal kill and destroy were the very 1st that I watched and everything in those videos were exactly what happened to me,it was a shock at the time but started noticing all the narcissists in my life and now I'm healing and learning every day,thanks again Paula great lady with a great heart🌹
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I experienced this with a narc friend "so called fake friend" which once we had our last discussion was liberating that he went silent which made the separation simply magical! He finally knew that I wasn't giving once ounce of supply so he moved onto other supplies
They choose us based on what they can take from us in return for their relentless abuse.
I resonate with this so much. Never did I see myself as what I now know as an empath I just knew that I'm always optimistic and if I can help others I will and most times I do even when it's not in my best interest. The narc I was in a relationship with had manipulated, and cheated throughout the entire relationship and I had endured that and took him back but WHEN he started attacking me in regards to my son who was and is a good young man, never had disrespected him or any authoritative person I knew I had to do whatever it took to get rid of him and kick him out of our lives!! Listening to this tells me why I had the strong need and urge to be completely done!!
You know, as I was listening to this, it really hit me in the face. Like a slap in the face. You know the real reason how we get tangled up with these users? These emotional parasites? Because of what we never got what we really needed as children. And, it we had of, we wouldn't even have noticed them. Looked at them or even talked to them. We needed emotionally mature parents or caregivers who weren't still trying to fix themselves as adults. My mother never was an adult. An emotionally mature adult. I know that's true now based on my hours of remembering my relationship with her and her old family she never confronted about their alcoholism. She never let it go or faced it. Faced them about it. I was adopted and Im so disappointed in them as who I got stuck with. I am not ashamed for somone else's fears. People do avoid them and the people who gave it to them. I'll admit it. I despised every one of them for hiding their parents irresponsibility and unnaccountability as parents to 2 innocent children. My mother and her brother who felt entitled to take out their pain, their shame, and their hate on me. Thats how a scapegoat is made. Taking all the pain of the real problems they refused to confront by themselves, with each other.. These people are not brave. They are wimps who skirt around the Real problem. Their parents abuse of them. I don't even think they're even smart enough to even figure that out. They just hide it behind their false image of perfection
It never goes away and empaths, dont carry it any longer for them. When my mother passed, her house was haunted. I had to sell it to get rid of that secret dark energy. It has sat for 5 years after I sold it. Unsold. Hmmm. And Ive given away and sold most all of her props. People will go around the world to avoid their shame. To not face what it is. But do they even know they're carrying it? Are they conscious of it? To me, that unawareness is where some tricky things do come in. Take advantage of that fear. And that is why your mental stability is critical for your spiritual protection. If someone in your life is hurting your feelings and using your guilt, it is best you just tell them to leave ypu alone. For the rest of your life. Because they will take you down with them. Because they will never let anyone put them down again. These people are only a real drag on your life. And you see that. But aren't they so nice to everybody else. Nope. Its all an act. 😊
19:56 >>> Very inspirational.
-Empath
You're doing wonderful and amazing, selfless work Paula..and don't assume for a minute that we the many don't recognize your own personal suffering...I respect you so much! 💚💌
Thank you so much!
For years this went on with me ,I did not know what narcicissim was ??
Soul destroying evil 😈
I had that supernova ,lightbulb ,moment
Got out divorced ,he got the shock of his life , came and went ,right through mine and my children's lives for years .
This community, Paula you have helped me recover ,understand more and more of this evil ,
Thank you and God bless you
Explained to us all in the easiest understanding ,no bullshit way 💕💕💕
Thank you Paula for this. Love from London and again thank you for all you do
He expressed his hope that we could have a friendship one day right before I went no contact. What a fool. There's not a chance in hell that I would ever allow such a destructive monster back into my life.
" I discovered YOU. as I near healing Ma'am... You are the perfect culmination of my story." Thank you ❤
Thank You Paula 🙏💙
Thanks
Control over every thing they possibly can.
Thank you. Things show up when you need them and this one was perfectly timed. Thank you .
Hear hear.... same for me. Wonderful video.
Thank u for helping humanity. Beautifully said truth. God Bless u.
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Be better not bitter I've heard a strong and beautiful lady say An empath no doubt will figure it out There is no time today No more for the demon that keeps your mind screaming in so many ugly freaking ways Be better not bitter I've heard a brilliant strong and beautiful lady say 🙏
I was pushed too far. It made me feel angry, disrespected and when I stood up for myself it mad me sad to see how little she actually cared about me. A few weeks of back and forth, one apology email where at the end she eluded to falling out of love. Then weeks of silence, then came back to state her life was in shambles and then when I responded with concern she was loving and then when I tried to address her contributions she discarded me so coldly and blamed me for the ending. Stating “Love was not enough”…
Thank you Paula. Your videos have helped more than you know ❤
Thank you. This overwhelming sense of injustice is what saved me. On all levels. Now I use my empathy as the superpower that it is. I don’t waste it on parasites and lost causes. And I found peace and happiness. It was the ultimate test though… much love to all the wonderful souls in this community ❤
Thank you for your deep insight!
From the depths of my heart...thank you!
You are so welcome
Thank you so much for your channel. ❤❤❤
Welcome and thanks for your support 🌹🌸
You just read out my past four years. Three years out of it and putting what I learned to good use.
I will never eat their food again. I can go and find my own food and feed myself.
Hope they all heal one day. It's sad to see their behavior unfolding in front of our eyes and they don't see any wrong with themselves. I'm not perfect and I know that. I went supernova and not proud of it but I have forgiven myself, it helps knowing I will not eat their poison again. Bless you all
Your videos have help me realize why I went through the things I did. I had no idea what a narcissist was or that they truly existed until listening and watching your videos. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me realize I am not alone. When he started accusing me I things I had not done and calling me a liar that was the straw that broke the camels back. I was so angry and when he wanted to talk about it I would not. He told me he had to be number one and I was so furious I told him I was done. It was 2020 after twenty plus years in a relationship. I was going to the store for him every week and getting his groceries because of covid. He was retired and I was still working. He got mad at me the night before for not listening to him go on and on about politics. I told him I was tired and then he started raging at me and hung up. The next day when I called him he started accusing me of all kinds of madness. I had had enough. I thought he had lost his mind. I still was broken hearted but I felt a real freeing feeling all over and knew I had done the right thing for myself. I did not realize I had been in a narcissist relationship all those years until I started watching you videos. Thank you for all you do to help us. Truly from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.
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Thank you for saying we endure a lot and that we take issue with injustices. Its so true and feels good to hear someone say it
Empaths are going to win, in the end, ALWAYS!!!
You see people who are so nice. Until they are not! 🧐 i would like to think a narcissist learns but they NEVER do.
Omg-you really hint a nail on the head. My narcissist treats my kindness with suspicion. It’s always baffled me.
Thank you very much for sharing your insights and knowledge.
My pleasure!
Thanks for this. A lot of people experience narcissistic abuse in very subtle ways that takes a long time to recognize rather than experiencing obvious events that are unmistakable. It took me a long time to realize that for some of my friends, I was just there to be "talked at" since I always listen and take an interest in what is going on with them, support them on their dreams and goals, and try to understand what makes them tick. However, with quite a few of them (it's gotten worse lately) I eventually realized that the reverse is not true. They zone out when I talk about anything that isn't about them, they ask no questions, and ultimately draw the conversation back to them. I am being used. When I see this pattern occurring, I put up a boundary so that I don't end up getting hurt.
I had a "friend" like this for years. I secretly referred to myself as the big ear in our relationship b/c that is all I was. She talked incessantly, barely catching a breath. If I tried to participate in the conversation, she picked up her phone & made a call, read a text, screamed at her children, got up to wash the dishes, anything but let me have input or participate in the conversation, it was so frustrating & exhausting. One day she asked me what I really thought about an interaction she had with another person, I told her what I really thought, she discarded me immediately, never spoke to me again. I was so relieved, so glad to be rid of her.
You;ve got to drop your own ego & walk away FOREVER
In my case, when my ex narc knew that night I meant business during another one of his manifestations of a demon(s) and he knew I knew what he was and that I told him to get out of my home(I bought it) but he smeared and smirked and told me in a very confident tone that was cold, and said " I'm not going anywhere, you leave!" Then the abuse just got worse and his drinking and all the while threatening me that if I do.this or that..I'd be paying big money and how he was staying! But now I booted him out with help from police. So evil! Straight from the abyss
Thank You so very much!❤
You are so welcome!
You explain things very well your words resonate with me so much.
So true! I didn't realize it at the time but looking back, yes, whatever resources, skills and the depth and range of my mind and heart occurred TEN FOLD! At the time, breaking up/escaping felt like a radical 'downsizing/compromising and humiliation' BUT now that Paula mentions it, yes, even though I had only sought the most basic Refuge at the time (and miraculously managed that), unwittingly all of those Basics also IMPROVED TEN FOLD at the same time! It didn't feel like that at all at the time but the improvements are showing up now - give or take about 3 years later.
Thank you SO much for this. This is the first time in my consuming narc abuse education, trying to make sense of these serial narcs I’ve had in my life that I have felt hope. Everything about the narc dynamics has felt so very hopeless. But I so related to how you said that my sense of justice/injustice kicked in, and I started to protect myself. (Much to my narc’s dismay). I know I’ve been an empath for a while. My sister called it my « freak flag », and for a while I really thought something was wrong with me. Over time I’ve learned what and how I was. And I’m glad I am this way. I have the chance to really have a beautiful and meaningful life, once I heal from this. Thank you very much for the hope.
I believe that the empath needs to remain aware of ongoing attempts by the narcissist. Letting go is imperative because there is loss and I think the empath knows when it is time to "let go and let God". Letting go and trusting actually lifts the burden of caring and begins healing, freedom and joy. Difficult? Yes. But with God all things are possible.