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How to Avoid Dating a Narcissist
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- Опубликовано: 14 авг 2024
- Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Qualified Clinical Supervisor. She received her PhD in Mental Health Counseling from the University of Florida in 2002. In addition to being a practicing clinician, she has provided training to counselors, social workers, nurses and case managers internationally since 2006 through AllCEUs.com How to Avoid Dating a #Narcissist
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Seasoned divorce lawyer here. Just my two cents on this video: watch it twice! It is excellent and could save you from getting tangled up with a narcissist. If you get a whiff of these behaviors, RUN and definitely do NOT marry. Divorcing a narcissist will be a nightmare. Stay safe out there!
Divorcing one young in life wrecked my life a d my kids.. So true. Run..
Hopefully it does help people. Thanks for your comment.
Wow! this means a lot coming from an attorney. Thanks for sharing.
Do you have your own RUclips? This advice need to be preach more. This will save so many bad marriages. Especially for the innocent children's that are brought into this world and suffer.
@@colleenmitchell5208God bless you and your family 🙏😇❤️
Been there done that-more than once. I just wasn’t aware what these patterns and dynamics meant. I can say from experience there is NO fixing or negotiation with a narcissist. Family, friend or partner the pattern and end game is the same.
Thanks for watching.
I definitely have to contact my connections at NBC and convince them to give this Lady her own show, she’s good.
I am on local public access in Nashville.... I wouldn't mind being on NBC though. 😃 Thanks.
I can tell you one thing. Your videos about self-esteem is going to help me not gonna raise a narcissist.
Thanks for watching.
This is one of the best narcissist videos. Straight and to the point!!!👏🏾👏🏾
Too kind. Thanks for watching!
This is SO Accurate, thank you! Friends just remember your not crazy!!
That's the hard part, everytime i try to detach and get out, my Narcissist will always looking out for me, sometimes using some verbal provocations, just for the sake to make me getting angry, i guess thats how they live, living with people who always provoking and making people getting into fight is unbearable....
The uninvited stress and overwhelms....
You right doc, they want to be our center of live, they hate it when people ignore them, dont know why they do that while being angry and toxic....
My wife try to makes this her narrative but I don't want it I'm good I'm almost out the door crushes me....along with gas lighting I am no longer the same person I don't even really know who I am just lost and confused she said I can't ask her to be nice because I deserve it or something like that got punched twice to day
Doc Snipe you did a good job here. I like how you challenge the person who attracts the person with NPD to examine themselves to see why they keep attracting such persons in their life. It all starts with our own self awareness in the situation and taking action to heal. I like your suggestion of doing a health check on the relationship every month. Great advice. Thank you so much
Thank you Doc Snipes.
Truly appreciate your education on the extensive topic.
The way a victim becomes entrained w the intermittent reinforcement is what makes this kind of dynamic so difficult to understand let alone leave.
By God, the horror stories I hear from survivors are nothing less than chilling and cruel watching people being stripped down to nothing.
May The World become educated in how these people operate, why they became who they are, and how people can get themselves out and healed before too much damage is done
It starts w parenting skills and efficacy.
Thanks for watching.
@@DocSnipes 🙏❤️🙏
Taking notes...
Thank you again, I seem to attract this kind of person, as an empath it becomes very oil and watery. I will be so carful in my next relationship, I almost feel bad for whoever it is, I will be looking for signs of this, and other mental issues. What I really notice is how there are people who are willing to work on their issues, and then there are those who flat out deny they have any, and will never get any help it seems. I will take the former every time, we all have issues, those who acknowledge them and try to do something about it are a step ahead of the ones who are lost in denial. I feel bad for them, there are so many resources today.
I appreciate you watching the video. What is a positive outcome you could see from that?
I really appreciate your channel, I am a neuroscientist and appreciate your presentation style.
YOUR INCREDIBLY WISE and so Helpful!!! The way you deliver your content and make your points are so bang on and insightful ❤️❤️
Your videos are so helpful and made me realize so many of my inner wounds/issues. I just started my spiritual healing journey and I’m realizing my worth and what to do moving forward ❤️🥰
Maryam Diao It's extremely important to do healing work on any childhood trauma issues, as I've read many comments by people who still got caught up with highly narcissistic individuals, even though they had all the knowledge in regard to red flags etc.
I'm aware that it can be difficult though, due to the fact that a lot of them are excellent actors! I've even noticed that certain types of narcissistic people believe that a person is lovely just because they're friendly and polite to them.
They tend to show their true colours, so to speak, to me before others, which is a positive AND negative thing and I'm very perceptive.
I'm intending to stay single, so I'm not interested in dating at all, but these videos are still helpful and do want to have healthier friendships eventually. ❤
@@cyndigooch1162 I grew up with decent parents however my father was very arrogant and stubborn and my mom a ppl pleaser it came from their own lack of parenthood. I was living most of my life basically for them fell into many pitfalls it wasn’t until my last relationship that taught me more about myself and triggered some of my wounds. I then woke up I’m now doing the work to break free. I’m not sure if I wanna be with anyone. But we will see
Best video about narcissism and I’ve watched ALOT. It’s summarized everything so well. Thank you 🙏🏼
Thanks is so nice. I really appreciate it.
thank u so much...just came out of a Narcissist marriage...it was crazy and draining. Divorce barely 6 months and he is already remarried...?...
Thanks for watching and commenting.
Percent of population with narcissism: 1-5%
Percent of RUclips users who think their ex was a narcissist: 90%
I got a good laugh out of that. Thanks. :)
Lol I love this
How could I ever thank you so grateful for your help, lots of love and prayers from Egypt ❤️
Thanks for joining from Egypt. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Dr. Snipes, This was a very informative , helpful video. Thank you! Yes, I recognized these patterns and you explained so well.
In my case it was lack of knowledge about NPD. These videos weren't around back in the day. Now that I have these videos at my fingertips I'm more aware of narcissist personality disorder; education is key; thank you for sharing your video it's educational and informative. ❤
You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching.
Very Helpful❤ I've noticed these things esp never saying sorry and many other things in my relationship and in my other relationships.
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
@@DocSnipes Thank you❤, so much! wishing you peace and happiness as well.
Ask them about their X.
That will tell you a lot…
Thanks for watching.
What can happen in a group of narcissists in a class??
Thank you Doc Snipes for this wonderful explanation of narcissism
So welcome. I appreciate you watching
Did narcissists love animals? My husband could not have children, he agreed to bring a kitten into the house. He sold it ,without asking me ! Latter he bought another kitten which had the same ending
! For the third kitten, we had a bad argument for 5 years..he has no mercy, no compassion ... all that matters is his desires!
Great, clear explaining thank Doc Snipes 🙌🏻🌞
My pleasure! Thanks for watching.
Thank you very much for this helpful information and I always think of a LOT to mention in relation to these videos! I want to cut down though, because I often get carried away, then don't have time to get back to people who reply to me.
I mainly want to verify what you said about highly narcissistic individuals picking up on the ones who are lonely, as the last dangerous man I got caught up with gave away many secrets (hence why he won't be able to get me again) and told me that he can pick loneliness and vulnerability in women really easily! He added that he just acts friendly and chats to them, then they think that he's a lovely man, whereas he hates women with a passion.
Mind you, I've noticed that most people seem to take others at face value, which is starting to annoy me. Lol. An example is that I used to know a narcissistic man who kept saying that men he'd met were good blokes etc when he didn't even know them very well, so I'd say that he or she SEEMS that way, but it's best to give it more time. ❤
Narcissist will brag about helping other people all lies to the point they believe there own lies I have seen a lot of them two things I hate is some one who lies or stealing just to be frank two thang most narcissist do.
Thanks for watching.
Thank you so much for this wonderful video, to me, this is one of the best ones describing narc behaviors. I wish I had this knowledge before getting involved with a true malignant narcissist. It's so painful and hard to get out of it. It takes so much knowledge and strength to get out before they destroy your being.
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
I love projects and i married a narcicist. I wasted 30 years!
Thanks for watching.
I wasted 18 years
@@noku_nz omg
Oh my goodness.
This was totally me and I never knew.
Dear god i am so greatful
thank you for delivering me.
Thanks for watching and commenting.
My goodness, this is right on point with such a large part of my life since this disorder of Narcissism is what both my Father and son's mother suffer with.
Actually it is more _Everyone are the ones who suffer, but either way I whole heatedly would Love if you Dr. Elise Snipes would teach us how to help keep our children from being brainwashed, and emotionally damaged while growing up with such a severely disregulated and emotionally abusive parent.?.
I love what you are doing Doc, your videos are soooooo helpful to me on my healing journey
So glad. Thanks for being here.
It seems to me that a narcissist must have an awful lot of energy, awareness, and smarts in order to manipulate, control and gaslight. Almost as if they "did the research." I mean if I wanted to behave narcissistic, I'd have a great deal of planning and homework to do.
Thanks for watching!
This is soooo spot on!!!
Thanks for watching.
I love this!!!!
Wow this explains A LOT thank you :))
Welcome. Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Just in time, Doc Snipes! GREAT timing for this video, thank you!
My pleasure!
I need a video on how to get over the person. I feel like its a drug... I've never been addicted to anything but relationships..I was abandoned by my father and raised by a very narcissistic mother
It's a love addiction created through the unhealthy attachment styles as a child. It's very deep.
Check out the works of HG tudor. I learnt alot from his videos.
What if they don't point out your faults what other conditions can present as narcissism or sociopathia without actually being that way because I've heard that being on the autism spectrum or having PTSD or even being mired in addiction can also make the person display those traits
Excellent job!! Thank you so much for creating such a comprehensive and practical video. I will be returning to it again to really let this knowledge, wisdom and skill set sink into me. I appreciate your work. Thank you for your generosity in sharing it.
You're very welcome! Thanks for watching.
Dear Dr Snips, my husband was very carying until I got sick in my Spondylarthritis, and was bound to a wheelchair for a while. It came as a chock many years i to the relationship. Sometimes narcissism can be really hidden. Not for month but for years.
Sorry to hear that. Thanks for sharing and for watching the video
so narcissists:
→ they think they are perfect and flawless as they are and don't need to change, but want to change you
→ always wants to win arguments no matter what and can't say sorry and differences in oponion
→ they use you to enhance their image and are addicted to compliments/praise
→ it's always about them and are addicted to attention
→ talk bad and gossip about others
→ they can't stop telling you how you should change because you don't meet their entitled expectations
→ pretend to be nice and agreeable to gain sympathy
→ use clever tricks to gather information and use your insecurities against you if you don't provide what they demand
so women... most women I know are basically like this..
Funny as I was listening to this it seemed that she was listing off a lot of traits of single men that I come across. Egotistical, entitled, taking about themselves/need attention and constant praise, talking badly about others/putting people down and feel everyone else is inferior to them, can’t handle a difference of opinion (especially by a woman), lying or exaggerating to hook someone, bait and switch, rage/temper tantrum when not getting their way of feel slighted, hypersensitive yet hypercritical so no one can meet their expectations for long..and on and on.
@@stacey3332 you so insightful !
@@toddthedreaminterpreter7043 haha earned wisdom
True.....
I guess normal woman don't do this, i had this bad experiences with many woman where they only care about money and their social image, kind a weird actually....
@@stacey3332 To a "T", it's pervasive in both sexes. Women are becoming the new "toxic male", research is showing this. Material culture, objectification, status climbing, reward-seeking (sensory, sexual, emotional, financial) is driving it.
The star .
Thanks for watching.
Thank you for this video
You’re most welcome. Thanks for watching
Okay so I must say, these symptoms all seem to fit an overt narcissist..... I think it's important to differentiate between overt and covert.. and vulnerable and malignant narcissists. Covert narcissists often times will not talk about themselves and may even agree with everything you say for a long time. They can come off as the most giving, humble people you've ever met.. many of them also play a hero role because they get their supply from people telling them how amazing they are for doing "such nice things" for others. When I first met my covert narcissist ex-husband, all I heard from everyone was how helpful and giving he was.... They all said "he has the biggest heart of anyone we've ever known".... When I fell extremely ill, all I heard from everyone was how amazing he was that he stood by me and took care of me. Little did they know, he was the one that was making me sick and behind closed doors, they could have never imagined who he truly was. Most people would laugh if I were to tell them he was a narcissist
Thanks for watching and commenting.
Thx doc, i live with 2, it's always fights and debates over some unimportant things, it's really exhausting..
Wow.. you just summed up my 22 year marriage🥴
And then, unbeknownst to me.. I attained a narc lawyer.. Hindsight! Thank you for all of your informative videos! I’m learning so much❣️
You are so welcome. Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Deeply informative. Thanks 👍
Welcome. Thanks for watching.
Thank you so much for adressing it.
My pleasure! Thanks for watching.
Thank you i was fooled .. now I know about codependency now partners.. and people projecting onto..
Wow...sure have seen some things about me...
Always a good thing to review yourself, and take a step back... no rush... right?
Thanks 🤔
Thanks for watching and commenting.
Please comment on the mother in the movie “Beau is Afraid” , Mona Wassermann. Thank you.
Is Narcissism on a continuum?
Yes, true for most everything.
It’s impossible empathy vs narcissistic opposite attract.
Yes, but one side of the " follie a deux " pair can get the education , heal and leave.
@@mariaawake4502 that is where I am at but honestly I am disappointed that when I go out in the dating works with standards and boundaries that am not meeting single men that are secure and kind, monogamous. I have to fight the genuine attraction for the narc as I know I never want to be in a relationship with one again. This video woke me up that I like ambitious, a little more dominating and exciting men which personally I wonder if I can change what draws me in ..I wonder if there are others out there who have changed their attraction style with what us best for them versus what seems like an organic attraction.
@@stacey3332 , I assume, that I married a narcissist because I grew up in a dysfunctional family. I have done a lot of Inner Child work, first on my own, now with a therapist and I do not feel any attraction to narcissists any more. I am advanced in age and I wish I had a relationship with a sincere , trusting partner.
What do we do once we in the relationship with that narcissistic person?
Hey,
Talkin to a doctor..that means alot...
God has you
helping me understand duh...
in the beginning
Most narcissist dont know
they are messed up.
Their upbringing trauma determines the problem with their personality.
I was the narcissist.
Finding out was heavy.
Change requires Drill.
On a USMC level.
I was horrible.
Most people never change.
It was tough to being with
if that makes any sense.
After the breakup
comes the wake up😁
Thanks for watching.
Amen!
The CC's interpreted your name as Dr Donnelly Snipes🙃
17:17 I thought in order to be diagnosed with NPD the person has to be distressed about their disorder. Is that not part of the criteria?
The diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) does not require the individual to be distressed about their disorder. According to the DSM-5, which is the standard classification of mental disorders used by mental health professionals, the criteria for NPD include a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. The individual must exhibit at least five of the specific traits listed, such as a grandiose sense of self-importance, a preoccupation with fantasies of success, a belief in one's uniqueness, a need for excessive admiration, a sense of entitlement, exploitative behavior, a lack of empathy, envy, and arrogance.
It's important to note that while distress is not a criterion for NPD, the behaviors associated with NPD must lead to clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. This means that even if the individual is not distressed by their own behavior, the disorder is diagnosed based on the negative impact it has on their life and the lives of those around them.
If you're interested in learning more about personality disorders and their diagnosis, Dr. Snipes has covered these topics in her videos, such as "Everyday Narcissism | Exploring the Meaning of Narcissistic Behavior" where she discusses the nuances between narcissistic behaviors and NPD.
In my experience you can't avoid dating a narcissist, but as soon as you see who they are you should be detached and strong enough to leave. Thats why sex should be off the table for the first month or so , so you can have a realistic perception of the person and see the red flags.
Thanks for watching the video
Are you still active on your site? I got premium membership and have left a message, would like some advice on something regarding PAWS, HPA axis and relationship struggles. Hope you're well :)
Im crying almost everyday because how depressing and exhausting living as an target of anger and hatred ...
Sorry 😞, i end up crying
Sorry things are so hard for you. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness!
You are going to get through it ...day by day healing little by little...recovering & rediscovering your true self...just be patient, kind, & loving to yourself...nurture & grow like a garden.
17:34
Narcissists look very good on paper, better than most until they don't get their fix. So give it lots of time if you want to spot a narcissist, don't jump into anything. They are nothing but a paper lover. A status seeker.
You make a very valid point. Narcissists can often present themselves very well initially, making it hard to see their true nature until later on. Taking the time to get to know someone deeply and observing their behavior over time is crucial. It's important to be cautious and not rush into relationships, ensuring that the person’s actions align with their words and that they genuinely care about others beyond their own needs. I'd love to hear what you found most helpful in the video! If you're looking to learn more about narcissists or want to browse through my video library, don’t hesitate to use my AI: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes.
Yes, but what if I'm not "asking" for all this time and energy and love-bombing? I don't have to match your time, energy, and commitment minute-for-minute, episode-for-episode. I do a lot, and I feel it's adequate. Don't like that? Move on. You'll find out really quickly what you've lost, while you're struggling to frame me as a "narcissist."
Thanks for watching! Wishing you peace, health, and, happiness.
It would be appropriate to say 'How to avoid a narcissistic personality disorder '. Narcissism its self isn't harmful. The majority of people have degrees of narcissism in their own personality.
Thanks Karen but I'm pretty sure everyone gaining knowledge from this video & Doc Snipes are well aware.
Correcting the obvious make you feel smart & superior?
Get your fuel ?
Stroke your own ego as you adjusted your "participation" crown or did you bully/guilt/shame some other poor soul into doing it for you?
Matters not
Calm down sugar britches , breathe in thru the nose & out of your face mouth.
Better?
Gooooood.
It puts the lotion on its skin & back in the basket.😆
@@firewoman13merica65 objectively self reflect much ?
I agree with you but I think it isn't helpful to tell people this. We could say the same from other dark triad conditions like 'we all have degrees of psycopathy and sociopathy' even we can say we are all sadistic to a degree. It's true but idk. Also you can display harmful narcissistic behaviour without being a npd person.
@@firewoman13merica65 lol
I agree.
Don’t date. People are fn monsters.
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.