My daughter was diagnosed ASD a few years ago - but the profile just confused me. She loves novelty and does NOT like routine, she is 24/7 director of her own "Universal Studios" - has adults 'eating out of her hands' and buying stories that I know are made up. As soon as she's congratulated for doing brilliant work - she stops! She was starting to direct aggression toward me, and I felt like I was losing her. I'd never heard of PDA until her psychologist mentioned it last week. I am not exaggerating to say that this knowledge has saved our relationship and turned our lives around. Now that I help her manage anxiety instead of trying to manage her behaviour - she's already blossoming - just in a few days! The peace that has descended the house is palpable. There are parents out there that urgently need this knowledge.
One pleasant surprise has been the relief and happiness our daughter showed when we better understood her profile. She was like "Yes! That's it, that's exactly how I feel!" Dispelling the confusion about her behaviour has really boosted her self-esteem and reduced her anxiety - which has a lot of positive effects :)
With my sons therapists being aware of the PDA profile since I'd brought it up have adapted their sessions and I have noticed a huge improvement in communication with me as before if I ask him something he's got anxiety around he'd completely say nope no no never.. so proud of him I do understand alot of his stresses as I had the same kind of anxieties and when I'd tell him about my experiences with certain things as a kid he'd be more receptive to talk about things he used to shut down about.
I like this summary. One of the things I'm starting to find out about PDA/EDA is that many of the aspects are a lot more rational than some people might think. I've gone back into past and the reasons why I did certain 'odd looking' things all seem to have a solid, logical reasoning to them when I go into depth about what my thought process was/would have been.
My son was diagnosed with autism at age 4 (he is 8 now). We went through a well established university program for families with autism called TEACCH. By the end of our program we were all kind of perplexed that none of the strategies were really working. My son's therapist just happened to be listening to a podcast around then that was talking about PDA. She gave us some information and it fit my son 10x better than anything I had ever read about ASD. I remember actually getting emotional because it described him so well. Going from that point has been mostly about self-learning because most therapist here in the US have never heard of PDA. It always feels like a balancing act to try and say the right thing to get what I need from him.
Absolutely! It always has to start from the person themselves. Because we are all so different, when we have multi-layered anxieties, it can easily tip into demand avoidance. Working out what 'good' feels like makes all the difference!
Thank you, this was a great video and made a lot of sense to me. School was hard because of the anxiety and failing to understand social norms in the classroom.
My son 16 has a PDA profile , it’s been extremely difficult and very isolating. He’s spent nearly a year off school and just starting online school now but not sure if this will work ..in Australia 🇦🇺 PDA is not recognised by many ., thank you for your insight ..lots of patience , compassion and love is needed
Online school might work as long as he feels in charge of how it is working and sees the value in it as a familiar environment and the ability to meet his sensory profile can make all the difference. I really hope it works for him. Please keep me posted!
@@adifferentjoylivingbetterw4972 You did an amazing job with presenting this info. I've shared it on Quora and hope you make loads more videos. I'm an adult PDAer, but recently diagnosed as "Asperger's" under the ICD10. One of the psychologists that delivered the diagnosis said I'm not PDA, Because I don't always refuse to do everything. Tsk, that's why I loved your video and think what you are doing is great because it doesn't mean too much to me that I was diagnosed for that, because it still entitles me to help because for autism and I'm grateful for that. But can absoulutely empathise with what you are saying about how it matters a lot more when we are kids and 70%of us 'are not able to attend school' and that is exactly how it was for me, I left school at 13/14. And truanted. Leaving school with no qualifications. Luckily I did unschool myself, and spent LOTS of time in public libraries. Your video is incredibly helpful. "Thankyou"
A Different Joy: Living Better with Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD and more ... my son did not take well to online , his perfectionist side overthought subjects he didn’t like which lead to procrastination and more anxiety, much like mainstream schooling. Atm I’m helping him by just being here for him and unschooling
@@emmahedgesparrow6170 Thank you, Emma. I have a whole channel of information for you. You might also like to check out my website www.differentjoy.com
Thanks for creating your video - my nephew has been recently diagnosed with PDA and I'm just trying to learn more about it. Your video was really useful :)
Brilliant video a real insight to PDA my daughter has this I’m sure . She has been diagnosed with ASD /Asperger’s syndrome . When my daughter was diagnosed they said her Anxiety levels were extreme for an 8 year old they said at the time they had seen any other child’s so high.
Wow...I wish I had this, because I go through it practically every da of my life, as long as I am around others... And yes!!! Compliments make things incredibly worse!!! Ironically, I'm about to offer a complement, when I find it difficult to receive them, but i am happy you've worked things out with your daughter... ( :
Is this a recognised impairment in adults, please? Intelligent people who simply cannot activate their executive function at times? Or is that dismissed as 'just laziness' rather than extreme anxiety, 'freezing' of motivation etc which can come from unrecognised autism? Thanks for your lovely, soothing manner (amid so many manic / harsh / ranty / anxiety-provoking speakers on autism, who provide so much excellent info but enmeshed in high stress & anxiety.) x
Hello Blackbird, thanks for the feedback! I wouldn't call it an impairment, as that sits within the medical model of disability (maybe I should do a film on it!) and assumes that different is bad which I definitely disagree with! Autism and by definition PDA are ways in which people are simply wired differently to most, which brings different strengths as well as areas where we may struggle more. Executive function is one of them. When people don't understand, it is often misunderstood as laziness (or even defiance) rather than overload and fear.
Hi blackbird, the challenges of the condition persist into adulthood. From personal experience, some of the more infuriating parts can 'ease' as the person learns what works best for them. I wasn't diagnosed in childhood (it hadn't been coined/discovered by that point) and the worst aggressive aspects of me seemed to subside without intervention by junior school. Different people will have different experiences no doubt but the cases I've read seem pretty consistent in terms of certain symptoms greatly improving through getting older and personal learning from experience. However, it is still a form of autism and so some key challenges do persist. As with other forms of autism, getting and keeping employment and holding down relationships can present struggles. I still need to find out more but it looks like people with PDA can live fulfilling lives and that diagnosis can be very helpful - especially in taking away the confusion at least as to why people with PDA sometimes don't fit in with certain norms.
Do PDA people have an issue with some choices? My son will say "I don't know" often when given some choices like when we're at the store and I let him pick out a toy or something and he will take so long to decide and even after his choice he will sometimes say he's changed his mind.. I do feel like he's got a PDA profile and his therapists are aware of PDA now & have adapted his therapy to meet his needs more than making him do 'normal' things as ABA in the past made him regress so bad and it took years to finally get him with someone who actually helps him be his best and adapting therapy instead of doing 'exposure' aba type therapy or forcing things to get him to comply..
Yes definitely. Choices can be overwhelming. You might find it helps to offer no more than 2 options. When really anxious, autistic people can become much more demand avoidant. Research has shown that ABA causes trauma in autistic people and increases PTSD, so I am really glad that he is no longer having that therapy. Please don't think that I am criticizing you for allowing him to have that at the time - God knows I have made many mistakes in my own parenting. When we know better - we do better! Well done for finding someone who can work together with him in a kinder way. I am sure it will make a massive difference to him in the moment and in the long term!
My daughter was diagnosed ASD a few years ago - but the profile just confused me. She loves novelty and does NOT like routine, she is 24/7 director of her own "Universal Studios" - has adults 'eating out of her hands' and buying stories that I know are made up. As soon as she's congratulated for doing brilliant work - she stops!
She was starting to direct aggression toward me, and I felt like I was losing her.
I'd never heard of PDA until her psychologist mentioned it last week. I am not exaggerating to say that this knowledge has saved our relationship and turned our lives around. Now that I help her manage anxiety instead of trying to manage her behaviour - she's already blossoming - just in a few days! The peace that has descended the house is palpable. There are parents out there that urgently need this knowledge.
I love that, Celeste! Congratulations on finding the key that unlocks the potential of so many anxious children.
One pleasant surprise has been the relief and happiness our daughter showed when we better understood her profile. She was like "Yes! That's it, that's exactly how I feel!" Dispelling the confusion about her behaviour has really boosted her self-esteem and reduced her anxiety - which has a lot of positive effects :)
With my sons therapists being aware of the PDA profile since I'd brought it up have adapted their sessions and I have noticed a huge improvement in communication with me as before if I ask him something he's got anxiety around he'd completely say nope no no never.. so proud of him I do understand alot of his stresses as I had the same kind of anxieties and when I'd tell him about my experiences with certain things as a kid he'd be more receptive to talk about things he used to shut down about.
I like this summary.
One of the things I'm starting to find out about PDA/EDA is that many of the aspects are a lot more rational than some people might think.
I've gone back into past and the reasons why I did certain 'odd looking' things all seem to have a solid, logical reasoning to them when I go into depth about what my thought process was/would have been.
Thanks Benedict
My son was diagnosed with autism at age 4 (he is 8 now). We went through a well established university program for families with autism called TEACCH. By the end of our program we were all kind of perplexed that none of the strategies were really working. My son's therapist just happened to be listening to a podcast around then that was talking about PDA. She gave us some information and it fit my son 10x better than anything I had ever read about ASD. I remember actually getting emotional because it described him so well. Going from that point has been mostly about self-learning because most therapist here in the US have never heard of PDA. It always feels like a balancing act to try and say the right thing to get what I need from him.
Absolutely! It always has to start from the person themselves. Because we are all so different, when we have multi-layered anxieties, it can easily tip into demand avoidance. Working out what 'good' feels like makes all the difference!
Thank you, this was a great video and made a lot of sense to me. School was hard because of the anxiety and failing to understand social norms in the classroom.
@@Dreamazium thank you 🙏🏼
Great video. Helpful introduction to PDA. Well presented. Thank you.
Thank you! It's probably time I did an update too now though!
Calm, knowledgeable and comprehensive. A real pleasure to listen to your presentation.
Thank you kindly! I'm glad you liked it. Please feel free to share with people who you know will find it helpful.
My son 16 has a PDA profile , it’s been extremely difficult and very isolating. He’s spent nearly a year off school and just starting online school now but not sure if this will work ..in Australia 🇦🇺 PDA is not recognised by many ., thank you for your insight ..lots of patience , compassion and love is needed
Online school might work as long as he feels in charge of how it is working and sees the value in it as a familiar environment and the ability to meet his sensory profile can make all the difference. I really hope it works for him. Please keep me posted!
@@adifferentjoylivingbetterw4972
You did an amazing job with presenting this info. I've shared it on Quora and hope you make loads more videos.
I'm an adult PDAer, but recently diagnosed as "Asperger's" under the ICD10. One of the psychologists that delivered the diagnosis said I'm not PDA, Because I don't always refuse to do everything.
Tsk, that's why I loved your video and think what you are doing is great because it doesn't mean too much to me that I was diagnosed for that, because it still entitles me to help because for autism and I'm grateful for that. But can absoulutely empathise with what you are saying about how it matters a lot more when we are kids and 70%of us 'are not able to attend school' and that is exactly how it was for me, I left school at 13/14. And truanted. Leaving school with no qualifications.
Luckily I did unschool myself, and spent LOTS of time in public libraries.
Your video is incredibly helpful. "Thankyou"
A Different Joy: Living Better with Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD and more ... my son did not take well to online , his perfectionist side overthought subjects he didn’t like which lead to procrastination and more anxiety, much like mainstream schooling. Atm I’m helping him by just being here for him and unschooling
Thanks Emma, your feedback means so much to me! If you need more help, please drop me an email to sarah-jane@differentjoy.com
@@emmahedgesparrow6170 Thank you, Emma. I have a whole channel of information for you. You might also like to check out my website www.differentjoy.com
Thanks for creating your video - my nephew has been recently diagnosed with PDA and I'm just trying to learn more about it. Your video was really useful :)
Glad it was helpful!
Brilliant video a real insight to PDA my daughter has this I’m sure . She has been diagnosed with ASD /Asperger’s syndrome . When my daughter was diagnosed they said her Anxiety levels were extreme for an 8 year old they said at the time they had seen any other child’s so high.
Thanks Ted, I really appreciate your feedback and hope she is Ok. If you need more help, please feel free to email sarah-jane@differentjoy.com
• Splendid.
@@doboyle1955 Thankyou:-)
0:38 Actually routine is what some PDAers crave.
I'm curious as to WHOSE routine that is? One I have chosen, is very different to someone else's....
Wow...I wish I had this, because I go through it practically every da of my life, as long as I am around others...
And yes!!! Compliments make things incredibly worse!!!
Ironically, I'm about to offer a complement, when I find it difficult to receive them, but i am happy you've worked things out with your daughter... ( :
Thank you Fedora! Compliment accepted! :-)
Is this a recognised impairment in adults, please? Intelligent people who simply cannot activate their executive function at times?
Or is that dismissed as 'just laziness' rather than extreme anxiety, 'freezing' of motivation etc which can come from unrecognised autism? Thanks for your lovely, soothing manner (amid so many manic / harsh / ranty / anxiety-provoking speakers on autism, who provide so much excellent info but enmeshed in high stress & anxiety.) x
Hello Blackbird, thanks for the feedback!
I wouldn't call it an impairment, as that sits within the medical model of disability (maybe I should do a film on it!) and assumes that different is bad which I definitely disagree with!
Autism and by definition PDA are ways in which people are simply wired differently to most, which brings different strengths as well as areas where we may struggle more. Executive function is one of them. When people don't understand, it is often misunderstood as laziness (or even defiance) rather than overload and fear.
Hi blackbird, the challenges of the condition persist into adulthood. From personal experience, some of the more infuriating parts can 'ease' as the person learns what works best for them.
I wasn't diagnosed in childhood (it hadn't been coined/discovered by that point) and the worst aggressive aspects of me seemed to subside without intervention by junior school. Different people will have different experiences no doubt but the cases I've read seem pretty consistent in terms of certain symptoms greatly improving through getting older and personal learning from experience.
However, it is still a form of autism and so some key challenges do persist. As with other forms of autism, getting and keeping employment and holding down relationships can present struggles.
I still need to find out more but it looks like people with PDA can live fulfilling lives and that diagnosis can be very helpful - especially in taking away the confusion at least as to why people with PDA sometimes don't fit in with certain norms.
@@benedictjephcote6815 Thank you Benedict. That is really helpful.
Do PDA people have an issue with some choices? My son will say "I don't know" often when given some choices like when we're at the store and I let him pick out a toy or something and he will take so long to decide and even after his choice he will sometimes say he's changed his mind.. I do feel like he's got a PDA profile and his therapists are aware of PDA now & have adapted his therapy to meet his needs more than making him do 'normal' things as ABA in the past made him regress so bad and it took years to finally get him with someone who actually helps him be his best and adapting therapy instead of doing 'exposure' aba type therapy or forcing things to get him to comply..
Yes definitely. Choices can be overwhelming. You might find it helps to offer no more than 2 options. When really anxious, autistic people can become much more demand avoidant. Research has shown that ABA causes trauma in autistic people and increases PTSD, so I am really glad that he is no longer having that therapy. Please don't think that I am criticizing you for allowing him to have that at the time - God knows I have made many mistakes in my own parenting. When we know better - we do better! Well done for finding someone who can work together with him in a kinder way. I am sure it will make a massive difference to him in the moment and in the long term!