Therapist Shares Why You're Attracted To People Who Are Wrong For You

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  • Опубликовано: 23 янв 2025

Комментарии • 1,1 тыс.

  • @osse1n
    @osse1n 4 года назад +1911

    When you don't value yourself, it becomes your identity and you will be drawn to people who confirm that perception.

    • @joud9482
      @joud9482 4 года назад +3

      🤔

    • @emmanuelabhishek9551
      @emmanuelabhishek9551 4 года назад +2

      i was searching for buddy in comment section

    • @lidiapanettiere7268
      @lidiapanettiere7268 4 года назад +2

      O'SSÉIN - Master Your Mind With Me thank you

    • @joud9482
      @joud9482 4 года назад +8

      I wasn't reading your comment as much as I was connecting the title of this video by finding you in 90% of videos I watched!!😅😂

    • @rhondaroberts7531
      @rhondaroberts7531 4 года назад +17

      If you don't believe in yourself, why would or should anyone else. Makes perfect sense.

  • @ambs2024
    @ambs2024 4 года назад +1302

    I saw a post that said, it’s not about you attracting toxic people. Toxic people attach to everyone they can. The important part is to learn to let go of toxic people. That’s the difference. Some of us don’t know how to let go of anything.

    • @rosesolorio81
      @rosesolorio81 4 года назад +64

      Yes it's not about how you attract its who you choose to entertain

    • @marko6489
      @marko6489 4 года назад +7

      lol, what a way to get rid of the responsiblity and put blame on others.

    • @ms.chauhan1435
      @ms.chauhan1435 4 года назад +2

      True @Amber May

    • @kenritch3941
      @kenritch3941 4 года назад +1

      @@tricks2564 Some people expect too much...

    • @ineedhoez
      @ineedhoez 4 года назад +5

      Na... you attract toxic people bc your ass is toxic too. Toxic people are repulsed by people with healthy emotional boundaries. If you were healthy, you would be attracted to healthy people😂😂😂

  • @casual_cooper
    @casual_cooper 4 года назад +611

    29:57 is when they start directly getting into what the title says

  • @ErikaK
    @ErikaK 4 года назад +638

    *This world is our mirror. Our outer reality is a reflection of our inner reality. It all starts from within. Everything changes the moment you see yourself worthy and beautiful, when you respect yourself*

    • @aswanthn4468
      @aswanthn4468 4 года назад +2

      Thats amazing and well said pal....

    • @supergames2304
      @supergames2304 4 года назад +1

      well said

    • @henrylambert8621
      @henrylambert8621 4 года назад

      To er kit liked your comet very true thank you very much

    • @henrylambert8621
      @henrylambert8621 4 года назад

      Hello Erik a you made a great comet thank you very much X

    • @ErikaK
      @ErikaK 4 года назад +1

      @@aswanthn4468 much love !!!!

  • @kloebl10
    @kloebl10 4 года назад +66

    "You are grieving for the person who you have not yet met" WOW. That resonates.

  • @wow50plus9
    @wow50plus9 4 года назад +270

    People do want to be open but they also want to feel safe and that's the issue...finding a heart that is kind and pure enough to listen without judgement and give advise that is not self serving.

    • @playfulvisionary7255
      @playfulvisionary7255 4 года назад +5

      Eh, judgement might be right sometimes it can be wrong but it can also be right

    • @MegaLadylove2012
      @MegaLadylove2012 4 года назад +5

      WOW50plus Pow 💥 this is everything. ‘Ppl do want to open up but finding the heart tht is genuinely for you or gets you is the issue

    • @zahraamanah8366
      @zahraamanah8366 4 года назад +6

      WOW50plus So true, finding a heart that is compassionate enough to allow you to be vulnerable...

    • @TS-rd7oy
      @TS-rd7oy 4 года назад +10

      I learned the hard way. I cringe when i remember the way i opened up to the wrong people. I don't do any of that anymore.

    • @athenafreya2509
      @athenafreya2509 4 года назад +3

      T S You’re not alone in doing that and I’m sure you had good reasons eg not having the experience to know red flags , don’t cringe be proud of yourself for growing so you aren’t doing it anymore

  • @rencho8236
    @rencho8236 4 года назад +87

    “We want people to be honest with us, but we struggle to be honest with them.”
    Jay Shetty ♥️

  • @Ken-py4pk
    @Ken-py4pk 4 года назад +172

    "You should know whether you're controlling your thoughts or are your thoughts controlling you."

    • @WhenTheyToldTheTruth
      @WhenTheyToldTheTruth 4 года назад

      I know I’m in the light when Im in control of my thoughts. I know Im in the shadow when my thoughts are in control of me.

  • @SejaL8.
    @SejaL8. 3 года назад +117

    MY NOTES FROM THIS PODCAST:
    2:58 the importance of letting people access their feelings.
    4:03 instead of getting rid of your feelings, use them in a positive way.
    13:52 the difference between secrecy(shame) and privacy(healthy boundary).
    20:28 in order to know yourself(the real you), you should first unknow yourself.
    23:36 difference between idiot compassion and wise compassion.
    28:44 talk less, listen more.
    29:59 try something different/something unfamiliar.
    32:20 difference between chemistry and compatibility.
    36:36 real meaning of chemistry.
    42:34 "if I can't do what I am asking people to do then there's a big gap but if I actually do it I think it helps people to say if she can do it I can do it too".
    45:06 one of the solutions for chaotic relationships.
    45:58 change for yourself and not for others.
    47:39 we sometimes are our own jailers.
    52:54 difference between pain and suffering.
    54:03 don't except from yourself/people to know how to deal with their feelings like grief, breakups etc.
    1:05:55 one of the ways to be kind.

    • @ambica.n3476
      @ambica.n3476 2 года назад +3

      Thanks a lot❤

    • @vaganzani
      @vaganzani 2 года назад +3

      Thank you, Sejal, this is very useful

    • @kundaflow
      @kundaflow 4 месяца назад

      🙏🏽👍🏽👍🏽

  • @shaunjeter
    @shaunjeter 4 года назад +1291

    Whoever is reading this, one day you will be living your dreams! Congratulations to you 🙏💫😀

  • @theskylifeprojectold4341
    @theskylifeprojectold4341 4 года назад +677

    Human connection is amazing. I personally believe we are attracted to people we can learn from. Be it for a relationship or friendship ❤️

  • @AuthenticSelfGrowth
    @AuthenticSelfGrowth 4 года назад +729

    The unconscious patterns and beliefs you hold deeply about yourself determine who you'll attract. If you carry alot of hurt and pain, you'll attract more of that. If you don't attract the right type of people then you still have work to do on yourself. The good news is we can all change :)

    • @wassanfrancis8009
      @wassanfrancis8009 4 года назад +5

      That's so sensitive to our very emotions that hurt us the most all the time we slide into so many difficult times of differentiating what we like and what we love.

    • @danialteaches
      @danialteaches 4 года назад +2

      well said!

    • @dr.shafqat6856
      @dr.shafqat6856 4 года назад

      Authentic Self Guide ok

    • @earthangel4743
      @earthangel4743 4 года назад +9

      I still have lots of work to do then. Jerks are still flooding my way!

    • @playfulvisionary7255
      @playfulvisionary7255 4 года назад +3

      That might be right but at the same time not for everyone. I mean it's right for me, but not for people I know

  • @CA2SD
    @CA2SD 4 года назад +58

    She’s a great listener because she’s so present. She’s has so much passion describing her journey becoming a therapist. A great conversation between two geniuses!

  • @ddevulders
    @ddevulders 4 года назад +77

    Someone very close taught me something extremely valuable in dating: fail fast. Dating is not a game where you try to impress the partner on the other side of the table, dating is about finding out if you are a match together. If you are willing to fail this process quickly your odds of finding a quality and equal partner drasticly increase (based on time invested alone)

    • @chrisrock1021
      @chrisrock1021 4 года назад

      HELLO, Are you in need of a good and legit hacker? contact cyberspylove on instagram, cyberspylove@GMAILcom or send them a message on WhatsApp +1 213 290 4041 trust me he is one of the best out there, He helped me out despite i was being scammed severally i finally i found a legit hacker like JacksonAnderson

    • @imadsyed9537
      @imadsyed9537 2 года назад

      Best dating comment ever! Thanks very much.

  • @Sq5687
    @Sq5687 4 года назад +188

    Her energy is so fascinating.. She's mindful and speaks from her heart..

    • @redesignedlife777
      @redesignedlife777 4 года назад +3

      Her voice is soothing. Haha

    • @younally491
      @younally491 4 года назад +1

      Couldn't agree more, what an absolutely insightful podcast.

  • @zoeyanaqvi-zn7482
    @zoeyanaqvi-zn7482 4 года назад +94

    Yes compatibility is more important than chemistry ! Well-said

    • @Nabonidus-m7x
      @Nabonidus-m7x 4 года назад +8

      it really is unfortunate how obsessed society has become with love. Promoting the idea that love can compensate for incompatibility.

    • @zoeyanaqvi-zn7482
      @zoeyanaqvi-zn7482 4 года назад +2

      @@Nabonidus-m7x yes true dear bcz lust is more love is rare

    • @ladyofspa
      @ladyofspa 2 года назад +1

      I think the definition has been mangled and cheapened. It's is just as important when understood it's more then just I think you cute...and I want sex.
      Chemistry in it's fullest understanding is your history being activated by a very specific person. You don't have chemistry with everyone, but select people.
      It's familiar family of origin triggers hormonal, smells,and features, it's unconscious attraction.
      It's your parents, and their parents passed down biology, history unfinished parts traumas, and love story matching the others in energy in feeling.....
      Your psychology and memories wants fears.....
      Spiritual a connection to an unknown, a messenger calling you to heal restore...your lower self chemistry mirrors.
      Without chemistry you are just friends. There's no challenge to grow.
      But chemistry is to know self,heal, and grow not necessarily to marry. When the chemistry is only sexual often it means greater unhealed parts will be brought up to heal and it won't last. But there is value.
      A more stable, confident chemistry is required for a fulfilling forever- progressive but strong.
      There's different types of chemistry to pay attention to. How you feel what's the message.

    • @ladyofspa
      @ladyofspa 2 года назад +1

      Also chemistry doesn't go away. Just because relationship didn't continue/ends, the chemistry can be triggered again.

  • @ImperfectMuslim
    @ImperfectMuslim 4 года назад +384

    Wel all have a habit of rushing into things, especially relationships. Sometimes we don’t even understand ourself and we try to understand the other person. We are not happy ourselves and we decide to make the other person happy.
    And sometimes we just get into it because there’s nothing else in life that we can control so we find the relationship to be the only option. That’s why we end up with the wrong person. Or sometimes the right person but for the wrong reasons.
    So we should start by discovering ourselves!

    • @darknight3613
      @darknight3613 4 года назад +3

      You are so right
      Thats an important lesson!

    • @ImperfectMuslim
      @ImperfectMuslim 4 года назад +3

      darknight Yup exactly. It’s really crucial for us to understand it

    • @7891-l3w
      @7891-l3w 4 года назад +10

      Yeah like I'm just a teen but like many others, I'm lost and don't know wtf I'm even doing in life, so I just rush into relationship bc I'm lonely, just a cycle of dating, neglecting, regretting, and dating again. It's honestly so tiresome and now I'm slowly seeking help and valuing myself

    • @ImperfectMuslim
      @ImperfectMuslim 4 года назад +3

      789 101112 I understand. Many people go through that. Just keep on working on knowing yourself and finding your passion and then you will be on the right path.
      Once I started focusing on my passion, it led me to making videos over here. I just started but hoping to go all the way :)

    • @7891-l3w
      @7891-l3w 4 года назад +1

      @@ImperfectMuslim tysm♥♥♥

  • @HowellConsultations
    @HowellConsultations 4 года назад +366

    If you are reading this, may you attract everything you’ve been patiently waiting for & be passionate to pursue it whole-heartedly. It will naturally flow into your life when you are ready to receive it. Hope our channel helps you on your journey 🙏

    • @emmanuelabhishek9551
      @emmanuelabhishek9551 4 года назад +1

      Thank you

    • @patriciaraymond3923
      @patriciaraymond3923 4 года назад +2

      Ameen
      I have received
      Thank u,be blessed
      🙏🤝

    • @HowellConsultations
      @HowellConsultations 4 года назад

      @@emmanuelabhishek9551 Pleasure !! 💖💖

    • @HowellConsultations
      @HowellConsultations 4 года назад +1

      @@patriciaraymond3923 💖🙏💖

    • @d.benders2413
      @d.benders2413 4 года назад +2

      Thank you very much, I have enjoyed every moment of this youtube video. So inspiring and encouraging. Soothing to the soul. Greetings from the Caribbean.

  • @iknowwhatsup2880
    @iknowwhatsup2880 4 года назад +63

    Being vulnerable makes you attractive, interesting and relatable. Really loved so much of the content. Ty

    • @minge9
      @minge9 4 года назад +3

      Not as a man, that's the harsh reality.

    • @skryvazena6548
      @skryvazena6548 4 года назад +1

      It depends on the culture, too. In a blaming culture, it can lead to being judged/blame.. it depends on the other person who listens. Open up to the right person is a way to go.

    • @iknowwhatsup2880
      @iknowwhatsup2880 4 года назад +3

      @@minge9 I think we need to distinguish between vulnerable and weak. However, i do think its more femanine character trait, so men have to be more careful with who they're vulnerable with and when they express it..

  • @carmel-wayfinder5401
    @carmel-wayfinder5401 4 года назад +22

    The grief of the lack of authenticity surrounding my life.. as I am mostly always rejected for being my true self... It feels like I'm stretching out my hand and no one takes hold of it..... So my sense of community is so lacking.. people say make yourself happy I think that's such a limited existence.... Thank you guys are really enjoyed this interview talk very refreshing 💚

  • @barbaraariho3660
    @barbaraariho3660 4 года назад +51

    This was like a free therapy session, thank you Jay for this podcast

  • @Ness-nq2mo
    @Ness-nq2mo 4 года назад +212

    To whoever is reading this,
    I hope you can let go of the people and things that confine you. I hope you can forgive yourself and forgive others, and most importantly I hope you can let go of the past that you think defines you.
    Every moment is a chance to Start again. 💫

    • @susanaperez524
      @susanaperez524 4 года назад

      Vanessa Cervantes thanks for saying this! Needed to remember about the past doesnt define you.

    • @emmalindon9424
      @emmalindon9424 4 года назад +1

      Thank you 🌸🌸🌸

    • @manishbh1973
      @manishbh1973 4 года назад

      Well said.. Vanessa!!!

    • @blomegoog
      @blomegoog 4 года назад

      ruclips.net/video/r9VexoTZnrw/видео.html

    • @ahydac.2816
      @ahydac.2816 4 года назад +3

      Thank you, it's very hard to find positive people that's why I have few friends. Better to have a few good ones than lots that are rotten 😄🥰

  • @et1016
    @et1016 4 года назад +47

    The interviewer’s eyes are the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. I honestly can’t focus on anything else. I’ll try again later.

    • @UXtatic
      @UXtatic 4 года назад +2

      I soooooooooooooooooo agree.What is the actual colour?

    • @tamelacartercarter8837
      @tamelacartercarter8837 4 года назад

      I thought l was the only on e his eyes are beautiful he beautiful beyond his looks he is so smart love his energy

    • @sleepingcinderella
      @sleepingcinderella 4 года назад

      😂

    • @et1016
      @et1016 2 года назад +1

      @Shoahshana Goldberg-Shekelstein how envious can you be? 🙄

    • @et1016
      @et1016 2 года назад

      @Shoahshana Goldberg-Shekelstein Get a life girl. You are a girl, right? 😉

  • @CherylMuir
    @CherylMuir 4 года назад +75

    To those struggling: You will overcome your painful patterns in love ❤️❤️❤️

    • @chrisrock1021
      @chrisrock1021 4 года назад

      HELLO, Are you in need of a good and legit hacker? contact cyberspylove on instagram, cyberspylove@GMAILcom or send them a message on WhatsApp +1 213 290 4041 trust me he is one of the best out there, He helped me out despite i was being scammed severally i finally I found a legit hacker like JacksonAnderson

  • @nishgram
    @nishgram 4 года назад +16

    This interview has bits for so many situations in your life.. I have watched it multiple times and each time I am able to relate differently to it. This is really a Heart to Heart Conversation and a perfect Virtual Therapy Session.
    Loved the way Lori Gottlieb answered all the questions and both Jay and Lori had such deeper insights to the so many of life situations. A conversation which was easy to relate and takes notes from.
    We need to see part 2 of this, Do the fellow viewers agree too ?

  • @camokitty
    @camokitty 4 года назад +78

    As a child we weren't allowed to show feelings I can still hear my parent saying " what is wring with you"? Or disregard my feeling like they don't matter to express them was wrong or bad :(

    • @Coco-nx8hp
      @Coco-nx8hp 4 года назад +4

      Christina Parker oh I experienced the same thing ...

    • @g.l.4870
      @g.l.4870 4 года назад +4

      So true... then as you age it becomes a part of u so therefore u tend to put some feelings under the rug that somehow leads to depression or lack of acknowledgement (of feelings)

    • @JustineMfulama
      @JustineMfulama 4 года назад +3

      Oh no I'm so sorry that happened to you. But I'm glad you recognize it now and can do something about it. You can now deal with that inner voice and change it.

    • @rubyv7231
      @rubyv7231 4 года назад +5

      Christina Parker yeah I totally understand you. Growing up I felt like I wasn’t allowed to cry so I didn’t. Till this day it’s something I still struggle with.

    • @Shortana
      @Shortana 4 года назад +3

      It becomes liberating when you realise your parents feared their own feelings and by denying yours they felt safe. Took a long time before I understood this.

  • @sadiaabro1801
    @sadiaabro1801 4 года назад +75

    She is perfect to be a therapist. She is so vibrant !

    • @mauiswift6391
      @mauiswift6391 4 года назад +1

      Her book is fantastic!

    • @sadiaabro1801
      @sadiaabro1801 4 года назад

      @@mauiswift6391 could you pls share the name?

    • @mauiswift6391
      @mauiswift6391 4 года назад +1

      @@sadiaabro1801 maybe you should talk to someone is the name of her book.

    • @sadiaabro1801
      @sadiaabro1801 4 года назад +1

      @@mauiswift6391 thank youuuuuuu :)

    • @mauiswift6391
      @mauiswift6391 4 года назад

      @@sadiaabro1801 😀

  • @nadinevaneeden1678
    @nadinevaneeden1678 4 года назад +5

    This has been one of the best 1:10.18 of the entire time I've been in lockdown. I'm sitting here thinking about everything I want to say about how much this podcast has helped me. And I will re-watch it again and again because this is precisely what I needed to hear in this moment in my life. Thank you Jay and Lori for helping me learn these life lessons and put them in practice.

  • @user-my2eo9lo1y
    @user-my2eo9lo1y 4 года назад +6

    I created a bond with my children at a very young age. I would ask them why they are sad, happy, angry, and so forth...I wanted them to express to me why and we would talk it over. I have told my children never be sorry for how you feel because that is your true feeling about something. My grandmother always told me which I have passed on to my children, friends, nieces and nephews and their friends that never let anyone make you mad, get mad when you want to and don't let no one make you cry, cry when you want to cry. You control your emotions and let no one control them for you.

    • @chrisrock1021
      @chrisrock1021 4 года назад

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  • @ivonnemorris0
    @ivonnemorris0 4 года назад +15

    What I really loved was the genuine, honest and easy way the two of you shared with each other about the fears and perhaps unconscious self narratives we as a human race experience ; while simultaneously also desiring to speak up, trusting our vulnerability would be not only safe but relatable enough to perhaps open a common doorway where we can finally feel the release and lightness this genesis of true freedom coming from the acceptance and love we all want, need and share in common. Mutually healing each other and our world.

  • @rozsa-readgirl3476
    @rozsa-readgirl3476 4 года назад +65

    "We marry our unfinished business" hit me hard...I used to be in a relationship for 5 years when he passed away and I married his brother. Needless to say the marriage didn't work in spite of him being amazing and me beating myself up for not being able to make it work.
    I regret not going to a therapist back then...

    • @edwardomanuel6996
      @edwardomanuel6996 4 года назад +4

      Love the honesty

    • @lh1053
      @lh1053 4 года назад +4

      No regrets...lesson learned? Move forward, with grace, self compassion.

    • @redvelvetcakeYUM
      @redvelvetcakeYUM 4 года назад +2

      Wow. Reminiscent of a Stevie Nicks or Bobby Womack betrayal. Hopefully you find/found what it is you needed then.

    • @Malitubee
      @Malitubee 2 года назад

      His brother ? Wtf

  • @realharmoni
    @realharmoni 4 года назад +11

    Incredible. What an amazing interview. I am beyond grateful for all the people who helped to create this moment between Lori and Jay for all of us to witness and learn from. Thank you.

  • @KeikoBushnell
    @KeikoBushnell 4 года назад +6

    “Getting the love you want” most insightful book I’ve ever read. It’s all about why you are attracted to certain people and how to find the “right” person/ people

    • @chrisrock1021
      @chrisrock1021 4 года назад

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    • @ladyofspa
      @ladyofspa 2 года назад

      That was a hard read, I was so young, now I am starting to understand it. I prefer to do my inner work first. Rather then count on other to assist, and rather increase attracting a healthier person.

  • @Fallintoplace
    @Fallintoplace 4 года назад +6

    This was beyond romantic relationships - it applies to every human relationship you have in your life. Amazing, loved the talk. So insightful and applicable in so many ways.

  • @AniWey
    @AniWey 4 года назад +39

    What you put out, energy and beliefs, you will attract! Start with valuing and loving yourself and you will become a magnet for love. You have the power to change your reality!

    • @henrylambert8621
      @henrylambert8621 4 года назад +1

      Good comet from any we y thanks very much

    • @lidiapanettiere7268
      @lidiapanettiere7268 4 года назад +2

      Ani Wey I totally agree with you on that! It’s very true if you don’t love your self or believe in you no one will.

    • @NatalliaNemes
      @NatalliaNemes 4 года назад +1

      Cheers to that!

    • @henrylambert8621
      @henrylambert8621 4 года назад +1

      Great coment any we y thank you very much

    • @wishuponadream4345
      @wishuponadream4345 4 года назад

      💗🌺🌹🤗💐🕊️💞

  • @shylascalf
    @shylascalf 4 года назад +10

    The best thing I learned from this is how self compassion is a better motivator than self flagellation. I constantly tell myself really mean things in hopes of bettering myself but it just makes me more depressed! I’m seriously going to try self kindness. I also liked the idea of being honest with others and really listening and being there for them and sit with them. Great conversation!! I love this stuff.

  • @sweetpapayasourpeach
    @sweetpapayasourpeach 4 года назад +9

    Wow that was touching! I think it's so interesting that she became a therapist later on in life and I kinda got the chills when she mentioned what her work was before hand because I'm going down a similar road and I've already had people tell me that I should be a social worker or therapist. I wonder if it's my destiny. I'm so grateful to have been able to listen to that very heartfelt and open discussion on feelings and relationships, especially the bit about being a good friend. I think friendship is such an underrated topic. I would love to hear more about that. I hope that everyone involved in the production of this video is doing well and that you all keep doing great work that is so beneficial to people everywhere who understand the English language. ;)

  • @치메라
    @치메라 4 года назад +7

    This lady is amazing and incredible while answering those questions. Jay, you are doing a wonderful job.

  • @eleonorelemonnier9277
    @eleonorelemonnier9277 4 года назад +4

    This therapist is amazing, great listener, vast knowledge of her craft, I love listening to her, to both of them actually.

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  • @sabrinacox4107
    @sabrinacox4107 4 года назад +2

    I absolutely love... ask yourself is it kind, truthful and helpful. When my children are feeling frustrated they tend to pick on each other, I always ask them to stop and ask them self if its nice or necessary.

  • @letice_leaf
    @letice_leaf 4 года назад +3

    The entire emphasis on kindness really got to me. I really want to practice being kind to others and myself but I feel like it's really hard to do. Not ignoring my feelings and blaming are definitely things I need to work on.

  • @forwoody797
    @forwoody797 4 года назад +11

    Was such an eye opener..! So nice to have a therapist on the show. Thank you!

  • @jennifercarroll7668
    @jennifercarroll7668 4 года назад +6

    Fantastic interview.
    Lori is such a warm, remarkable woman, with such fabulous insights.

  • @khadeejakhan8455
    @khadeejakhan8455 4 года назад +12

    Thank you so much, just listening to Lori was a self-realization process in respect to our emotions. Something I really needed at this point of time. All the best for your book Lori. Truly touched me at present was the loss & grief - how to deal with this & numbness of emotions. God bless you both.

  • @charlenechua2835
    @charlenechua2835 4 года назад +4

    it's so important to heal our traumas. work with a therapist (try and test- i work with a combo of cbt and intuitive or chakra healing) for almost 6 mos. now and I'm getting clearer on who I am, the positivity of self-love and clarity in my life and how it has blessed my life and reflected on others.

  • @amandanicolemorgan
    @amandanicolemorgan 4 года назад +4

    Lori? Thank you so much!!! What is familiar can be the most damaging place to be!!! Thanks again!!

  • @TH-eb5ro
    @TH-eb5ro 4 года назад +5

    A friend once told me 'it is never to late to have a happy childhood'.

  • @Paty19Rosa
    @Paty19Rosa 4 года назад +2

    I loved when she talked about friendship, it kept me thinking. Also the 3 things you can ask yourself before you say something. It really hit me. Awnsome

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    • @lioydwilliams1850
      @lioydwilliams1850 4 года назад

      Patricia Bento Rosa,your pretty smile can make the news

  • @talaaaaaahash
    @talaaaaaahash 4 года назад +11

    Love this! "I am my own jailer", powerful words.

  • @jillschmieding
    @jillschmieding 4 года назад +1

    I love the comment about grief for single people. This is so true from my personal experience. I really enjoy this interview. She has lots of great points.

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    • @lioydwilliams1850
      @lioydwilliams1850 4 года назад

      Jill Schmieding,your pretty smile can make the news!

  • @ravipeiris4388
    @ravipeiris4388 3 года назад +10

    Once I dated a therapist and lived together with her for two years. One of the most controlling and fucked up people I've ever been with. She could never stop being a therapist since during a therapy session, a therapist has absolute control. After leaving the office, she couldn't let go of that control and couldn't handle the healthy back and forth communication that is required of a relationship to work. I never felt safe with her to share my feelings,
    Ravi Peiris M.D.

  • @Sashas-mom
    @Sashas-mom 4 года назад +2

    She’s seems beautiful-inside and out. She inspires me in ways I can’t actually put my finger on. Listening to her gives me hope... sadly I hadn’t heard of her before right now. She said SO MUCH in so few words during the fill in the blank section. Anyway, wonderful interview. I’m definitely going to check out her book. Thank you Jay! 😊

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  • @LataviaNorris
    @LataviaNorris 4 года назад +22

    Self Compassion is how you grow & change! Love 🥰

    • @oscarwilliamson1264
      @oscarwilliamson1264 4 года назад

      Latavia,you look so pretty and so beautiful 💓❤🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹and I will be glad to know you more

    • @lioydwilliams1850
      @lioydwilliams1850 4 года назад

      Latavia Norris,you look stunning

  • @myshoppingstoryxoxo
    @myshoppingstoryxoxo 4 года назад +2

    I have been listening your podcast since the first episode with Radhi and I love 90% of them but this one is the most zen. I played this while lying down, closed my eyes and when this ended it felt like I have meditated. Thank you so much for this 🙏🏻😍

  • @positivelykiran
    @positivelykiran 4 года назад +25

    True compassion is holding up a mirror to help someone see clearer - I love that notion because we truly become what we see and if we start seeing ourselves and our lives differently, we can start making changes! 💯🙌🙌

    • @oscarwilliamson1264
      @oscarwilliamson1264 4 года назад

      Kiran says, you're absolutely gorgeous 💓❤🌹🌹and I will be glad to know you more

    • @lioydwilliams1850
      @lioydwilliams1850 4 года назад

      Kiran Says,you got a nice smile

  • @mingvlogs
    @mingvlogs 4 года назад +73

    Anyone else getting a pen and paper and writing some of this down 😅😂

  • @christopherdesigngroup3315
    @christopherdesigngroup3315 4 года назад +6

    I love what she says about making a change that is "in alignment with who you want to be in the world". I agree, but that can be a scary situation for people who get threatened or sabotaged, especially for their "consciousness" activities or attempts at financial independence. I have such toxic family relationships...geez.

  • @TheSurfingCat
    @TheSurfingCat 4 года назад +7

    I really enjoyed this conversation. Some very interesting and useful things that we can all work on and implement in our relationships.
    One thing I've found in my own friendships and relationships is that the more interested you are in other people, the more interesting you seem to others and that cycle reinforces your friendships and relationships. Be open, be vulnerable, but most of all be inquisitive and compassionate about what you find in yourself and others.

  • @vevoni3666
    @vevoni3666 4 года назад +7

    One of the best, powerful conversation, some words seem to be talking to me , thank you Jay for sharing this interview !

  • @miraa9554
    @miraa9554 4 года назад +2

    This is one of the most insightful videos. Thanks for sharing Lori Gottlieb and Jay Shetty. Keep up the good works guys !!!!!!

  • @almaengberg313
    @almaengberg313 4 года назад +4

    Beautiful interview, great lead and Lori is such a cool authentic personality! I really liked this video, I feel like some of Jay's video have felt different lately but this was the style I always loved. Just positive, genuine and seeing Jay more inspired than usual. Now, I really loved Lori's style. Trying to find my path, this is the kind of therapist that makes me want to share and work hard. I resonate with a lot that she said, and the tips for helping a grieving friend was really good!

  • @chastinekurtchannel
    @chastinekurtchannel Год назад +1

    Numbness is not having any feelings. Numbness is being overwhelmed by too many feelings.
    And your feelings don’t go away just because you push them down. And that’s the problem because our feelings will come out in behaviors, in short temperedness, in anxiety, in too much food or wine, or time in the internet.

  • @robsbusy
    @robsbusy 4 года назад +190

    Hey Jay.... as much as I love your content and this Guest is outstanding.. the Interruptions with your Advertising is just too distracting and takes away the concentration of this Very Important discussion.. I know you need to have sponsors but these interruptions are intrusive and a bit too long .. Sorry.. but it really is distracting.. Cheers.

    • @ritevibe
      @ritevibe 4 года назад +12

      i can only agree with this comment. Is there a way you can not have these block adverts...its WAY to intrusive and distracting. Sadly i won't be signing up., as i feel hijacked!

    • @blomegoog
      @blomegoog 4 года назад +1

      YT is broken.
      The only real way to watch YT anymore is on a desktop.
      github.com/NanoAdblocker/NanoCore

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    • @audacitytheatre5570
      @audacitytheatre5570 4 года назад +11

      The advertisements distract and deminsh the perception of your genuineness. If you will endorse life insurance, or any product, it makes me question your motivation.

    • @silviacodorean9234
      @silviacodorean9234 4 года назад +8

      Too many sponsors in one video, other content makers have sponsors but don’t mention more than one in a video, too bad for this valuable video :(

  • @aminahbergliotrolsdorph7557
    @aminahbergliotrolsdorph7557 4 года назад +1

    Communication..
    How beautiful Growth in such a difficult Age so full of Potential.
    Meaningful Wholesomeness..
    Not Boring ❣️

  • @reg8297
    @reg8297 4 года назад +331

    You are attracted to the wrong person for one reason it's a subsconscious attempt to finally fix the traumatic relationship u once had With one of your parents as a child

  • @shehan3553
    @shehan3553 4 года назад +2

    She actualy talk about things without hiding and it feels great .

  • @marisalynn6518
    @marisalynn6518 4 года назад +11

    I love this!! I’ve been trying to be honest with myself but it’s extremely hard, one day at time for now.

  • @danzad3524
    @danzad3524 4 года назад

    Being able to honestly and freely share your story enables you to not only share your truth, but gives you the opportunity to face yourself and perhaps, courageously, step-by-step be able to change your narrative. Thank you Jay for exposing us to these gems and helping us gather positive and proactive tools to further investigate and develop our own individual “purpose”. 🙏🏼

  • @rukhsanabanu2485
    @rukhsanabanu2485 4 года назад +9

    Jay tis is the best interview. It's so useful for me. I love psychology & Im becoming a therapist/counsellor. So tis interview is adding to my knowledge to help me understand & how to deal with ppl better.(I juz dont have a lot of time to listen to the whole interview)Luv 💞

  • @thenewyorkcitizen
    @thenewyorkcitizen 2 года назад

    Great conversation between you two. I love how she talks about editing peoples faulty narratives. Powerful

  • @iceman198791
    @iceman198791 4 года назад +3

    Lori is just amazing. Thank you Jay for sharing such a beautiful mind with us.

  • @taladiv3415
    @taladiv3415 2 года назад

    45:15 The analogy of the dance steps is rather good.
    55:13 Another strong point!

  • @fumanelusenga951
    @fumanelusenga951 4 года назад +2

    By listening only we can help someone hear themselves clearly. Wow that's so true and it makes sense why sometimes we get so frustrated when we feel we are not being listened to, it's because talking goes a long way

  • @tinu0121
    @tinu0121 4 года назад +2

    Lori, your book 'Marry him' touched me, changed me. Thanks for writing that book.

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  • @LuxMeow
    @LuxMeow 4 года назад +48

    When I chose someone who was not familiar he was the most violent man I ever dated. I broke up with him the first time he pushed me. He'd been violent with all his ex's and one died in an scenario where they were arguing. My point is sometimes you meet a psychopath who can fool you and you can't blame a person for being deceived when the other person lies about who they are, lies about so many things to make you think you are choosing 'different'. So there's no fool proof way 100% of the time.

    • @manishbh1973
      @manishbh1973 4 года назад +4

      I am with you on this...

    • @blacksongbird100
      @blacksongbird100 4 года назад +9

      True. You may not always catch things at first but your intuition will at some kick in and tell you that something is wrong. At that point, we decide to listen or not. More often than not, we ignore it.

    • @gabyloibl5172
      @gabyloibl5172 4 года назад +4

      @@blacksongbird100 Even if we are aware enough and listen, you never know the outcome in advance. It is not a calculation that if we do A, B will happen. If you had listened, that this or that wouldn't have happened is a theory. I found that whole conversation interesting and agree with many things. Yet, life and people's behavior are not predictable at all.

    • @gabyloibl5172
      @gabyloibl5172 4 года назад

      Chris Rock uhm.. why are you still there? (Not sure what’s about this email address and phone number)

    • @LuxMeow
      @LuxMeow 4 года назад +3

      @@blacksongbird100 It's something once you experience you will see how it's not so black & white, I hope you never have to. The issue is they're incredibly reasonable at explaining any doubts you might have or any questions raised. They are calm, charming and seem harmless because they know exactly the right words to make people self doubt.

  • @chrissyg9576
    @chrissyg9576 4 года назад +2

    This is a very insightful, information, and useful interview. She’s very down-to- earth and engaging. Thank you, Jay for interviewing her.

  • @TeenageDays
    @TeenageDays 4 года назад +18

    Opposite poles attract to each other is the best thing I learned. It applies universally.
    Btw sir a big fan of yours hope to make as big as you someday.

  • @natashajoarder7415
    @natashajoarder7415 4 года назад

    Lori is the perfect therapist one would look out for healing.
    Shes genuine,great listener and has that warm aura which is so very important for being a therapist. She makes people feel comfortable in her presence..empath thing totally ❤😊

  • @dilaudum1075
    @dilaudum1075 3 года назад +3

    Jay, please have Alain de Botton on the show to talk about the roots of romanticism! That'd be SO great

  • @kasiai5437
    @kasiai5437 4 года назад +2

    Wow. I learned a lot! Thank you. So shocked when Jay provided the example "I'll change for 3 months" - I thought only I thought like that. Thank you.

  • @yugutragui6125
    @yugutragui6125 4 года назад +3

    This interview covers an incredible amount of topics and I'm impressed that it took only 1 hour long. The therapist was straight to the point and your questions were very thoughful. I find it smooth and pleasant to hear, thank you Jay !

  • @radhag2405
    @radhag2405 4 года назад

    I felt very joyful listening to her... She is very attractive! So much positive energy!

  • @rebeccaajeann
    @rebeccaajeann 4 года назад +4

    5 minutes in and oh my god. This is just the best video to watch and I will be sharing to play friends and family.

  • @belindapadron7175
    @belindapadron7175 3 года назад +1

    Only 20 minutes in and I love this interview already as a mental health counselor student I resonate with a lot of what she is saying...

  • @tempotigga
    @tempotigga 4 года назад +10

    This woman is so lovely...her voice is soothing!

  • @doreengrennan9612
    @doreengrennan9612 4 года назад +1

    Lori was wonderful in answering the final questions...quick and direct...both sets of questions,,,thank you Lori

  • @GiiDev
    @GiiDev 4 года назад +3

    I believe chemistry comes from bad memory of an older relationship. You remember what that relationship made you feel at the best moment, but you erase how it really started and how it ended, you look for that "love rush". With my first boyfriend I didn't feel chemistry at all at first, it was all new, and experimental. But after him I started having a pattern of looking for how I felt in the "best moments" of the relationship. Something like looking for instant gratification.

  • @sabine1095
    @sabine1095 2 года назад

    58:42 brilliant... totally applies to a current situation I have with (been having actually again and again) a friend of mine and you've just offered me the right words to say to her.
    Thank you soooo very much for this excellent podcast. So valuable and insightful!!! I'll have to listen to it again and again to comprehend all the wisdom and great advice!! Greatly appreciated!!!

  • @jezzeri3553
    @jezzeri3553 4 года назад +1

    I loved her book. It was beautifully written and so authentic and vulnerable. It is amazing to see her interviewed here. It was actually her name that caught my attention.

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    • @surenderbeniwal8578
      @surenderbeniwal8578 4 года назад +2

      Hey Jezzeri ! I loved her book too ! Really good book and very beautifully written too!
      I feel connected to all 5 patients (4 of hers: John, Julie, Charlotte, Rita + Lori herself ) and Wendell too !
      Btw really good podcast!

  • @fatanc6291
    @fatanc6291 4 года назад +6

    I absolutely love this! Have rewatched multiple times and it’s completely changing my thought process❤️❤️❤️

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  • @Cookingcousin
    @Cookingcousin Год назад

    Second interview I’ve seen of hers and I’m even more intrigued. This has been such an eye opening talk.

  • @jujubee90275
    @jujubee90275 4 года назад +3

    I love this. As a psychotherapist myself I am 100 percent with Lori

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    • @lioydwilliams1850
      @lioydwilliams1850 4 года назад

      Hyun Joo Kim,you look good

  • @allisoncrandall1184
    @allisoncrandall1184 Год назад

    This lady is amazing. So much enlightenment I'm receiving by listening to her wisdom!

  • @PriyankaSharma-ui5yc
    @PriyankaSharma-ui5yc 4 года назад +3

    It feels like this podcast was specially made for me. I'm really grateful for both of you sir and mam for making this conversation 🙏🏻 Thank you ❤️

    • @Rock-mn5kq
      @Rock-mn5kq 4 года назад +1

      Sab thik ho Jayega :) .
      btw I felt the exact same.. that the podcast is designed for me for my current situition :)
      seems u too are in the same boat .

  • @shikastormcrow6224
    @shikastormcrow6224 3 года назад +1

    I loved this, felt like a mini therapy session simply watching, listening, observing and reflecting. Thank you so much Lori and Jay

  • @ireneyoomikim
    @ireneyoomikim 4 года назад +6

    This is why I tell my guy friends who often come to me for advice when it comes to their relationship to understand where your foundation is in the relationship because it is often important to have that foundation first and understand each other. IF you don't have that foundation that can cause a rift in the relationship as soon as you have kids things will take its turn. Men who have been married for 10 years some who are married for 3 years. I was discussing these things with them. Never expected them to be so open up to me but I do sense there are some things they need to take initiative when it comes to their partner unless that partner or spouse is a complete narcissist you have to understand that you cannot reason with a person who has a personality disorder unless you are willing to completely surrender yourself to that person. Basically sacrificing your needs and wants and nothing is reciprocated. This is why you have to know yourself before you get into these types of relationship. I have seen this multiple times with men who think they know what love is but often end up in a codependent relationship with women who are just wrong for them in the end. They give more and the women just keep on taking from them draining them from actually living their own life not setting healthy boundaries. You have no respect for yourself you end up being a door mat.

  • @ecalero4823
    @ecalero4823 4 года назад +3

    I read your book several months ago. I found it on Audible by chance. I loved it! Thank you so much for this wonderful interview! Stay healthy🙏🏼🦋

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      @chrisrock1021 4 года назад

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  • @patriciaraymond3923
    @patriciaraymond3923 4 года назад +15

    Good work
    Keep educating people and always be blessed
    🤝🙏

  • @spagirl4598
    @spagirl4598 4 года назад

    I really appreciate you clarifying about pain and suffering. Suffering means keep creating stories in our heads and re living painful moments wow very insightful thanks 🙏🏻

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  • @csillaglob
    @csillaglob 4 года назад +5

    This was just an absolutely brilliant conversation.

    • @oscarwilliamson1264
      @oscarwilliamson1264 4 года назад +1

      Csilla,you are absolutely gorgeous ❤❤🌹🌹🌹and I will be glad to know you more

    • @csillaglob
      @csillaglob 4 года назад

      @@oscarwilliamson1264 Thank you. :)

    • @oscarwilliamson1264
      @oscarwilliamson1264 4 года назад

      @@csillaglob I really want to know you more. Are you on hangout or gmail so we can always talk privately?

    • @csillaglob
      @csillaglob 4 года назад

      @@oscarwilliamson1264 I do not know what is hangout? Is that an App?

    • @oscarwilliamson1264
      @oscarwilliamson1264 4 года назад

      @@csillaglob Yes my dearest ❤🌹🌹,that's an app