I saw this with my girlfriend. She LOVED it. Somewhere in my heart, I KNEW it was the beginning of the end of our relationship. I am happy to elaborate...
***** It's one of her favourite films. She can watch it anytime and it really cheers up. It didn't cheer me up. I don't mind the predictability and frothiness of it. However, I didn't laugh once - it was just too saccharine. Then there were two bits that I actually found a little unpleasant; the first was when she intimates she wants a baby and he goes "whuh?" (and ensuing plan to buy a dog to try and avoid a grown up conversation about having children) and then when he meets his friend and he starts hitting on the girls because he has a dog. Both really weird and leery scenes that (I believe) attempt to imply this is a man's default setting. We didn't get to the end. She turned it off as I had really hurt her feelings after I (unforgivably) kept talking and criticising it all the way through. Awkward silence followed. Early night. Beginning of the end.
Tweed Echidna Great comment! Differences in movies should by default determine if a relationship will work or not. However, I have to disagree somewhat. Yes the Owen Wilson character is an asshole but I always thought that was the point. Marley and Me is about unstable, immature adults slowly maturing over time, with Marley as the glue that holds Owen Wilson's life together. It's not a perfect movie, far from it! But I for the most part liked Marley and Me. Congrats on escaping a bad relationship good sir!
@@ZeppelinBigFan i don’t think i have laughed harder at a movie review than kermode’s fred the movie review Ahhhh!!! flibbbitt AHhhh!!! mute him out that and film socialisme
Whether it's 'Marley and Me' or 'I' depends entirely on the context. For example, Marley and I made a shit film together' or 'Mark Kermode doesn't like Marley and me'. That's why I take Kermode's advice on films and not grammar.
Listened to the podcast in work yesterday and nearly died laughing at this rant. It had been a while since he really let loose at a crappy film, and I even thought he was mellowing out. The best rant in a long long time! :-)
I agree with everything he said, but I still sobbed at the end of the movie and now that movie really is my guilty pleasure go to. I hate it, but I find myself drawn to it when hung over.
Pretty much everyone in my film class said they cried at this film, and that "anyone who doesn't has no heart". This film has no heart. It's a vile and disgusting pool of poison.
"Shouldn't it be Marley and I?" They are so fucking British. I love it so much. I believe he referred to this afterwards as the movie that is in fact less fun than actually putting your dog down.
Aniston is the biggest one trick pony in the business. Shes played the same character in every movie since friends and theres more of the same to come. she sud go back to a US tv show that gets canceled after season 1 like all the rest these days
I'm 21, still living at home, and that's a home that has always had at least one dog as long as I've lived there with one break of 1 or 2 years between two of them, and I got through the book okay, but the movie was worthless. Having a dog doesn't play so much into it as just having plain bad taste in movies. As Kermode says, if you love dogs, be with your dog, take it for a walk, don't pay to see Marley and Me. Possibly read the book, it's not half as painful.
I enjoyed the movie alot althou that might have something to do with the fact that as a kid i had a white lab who's death was very similiar to marley's, as a result i didn't find it too sickly and everything, i guess if you don't relate to it then i could see why it would have been too much.
@sirheavyhitter When using the phrases "X and I" or "X and me", simply cut out "X" and form the rest of the sentence to see if "I" or "Me" is necessary. So if I were to say "I am tired" then it would be "X and I are tired". If I were to say "That belongs to me" it would be "That belongs to X and me".
This is my favourite kermode rant- beats dark of the moon and sex and the city 2. Absolute gold. However I will give dark of the moon, as that had a non verbal kermode uncut of him banging his head against a well for three minutes straight
"universal themes" is the worst generic descriptor to use because its VERY obvious that its trying to be as accessible to as many people as possible purely for the sake of reaching a bigger market, all for more money. Its just extremely cynical that phrase
Today was the first day that I ever seen this movie. By far the saddest movie I've ever seen. However I loved the movie but the ending was so sad. I actually cried real tears lol my boyfriend thought it was so funny
Ha ha I also thought of the number 23! I'd be more scared of letters running out really (well ... not scared at all!), but there's only 26 letters, in English anyway, an array of symbols, but an infinite amount of numbers! To Mr Wage, I say, When you are scared of numbers running out look towards pi, for it simply won't end!
The thing is though, a lot of critics liked this film, including Roger Ebert. Kermodes definitely right about it in a lot of ways though. It's somewhat touching at the end but it's pretty corny for the most part.
I know I should hate this film but I just can’t. Although I did feel the need to watch Dead Man’s Shoes or some other gritty ‘the world is hell and life is pointless’ type movie afterwards. Turning and turning on the widening gyre...
Kurt Cobain's guitar playing is the sound of someone with terrible digestive cramps. Owen Wilson plays the guitar in those sofa ads that make me feel sick. Coincidence?
@@bloodorange6713 absolutely. Nirvana sounds brilliant. That queasy gut sound is an artistic choice, and they more than pull it off. I was just making a silly joke about Kurt Cobain's general nausea, and my specific nausea when I saw those stupid sofa ads.
Seeing as it's a review of the film and not of the novel, that doesn't diminish the importance of Mark Kermode's opinions or observations. He's not reviewing how well the novel has been adapted - he's judging the film on it's own (cliched and predictable) merits.
@sirheavyhitter It depends on the context. Your example "You and I need to sort this out." is grammatically correct but if you said "This needs to be sorted out by you and I." that would be grammatically incorrect. If you are the subject then it is "me" and if not it is "I".The trick is to take out the other person (or dog in this case) and see if it makes sense.
Mark seems to be forgetting that the "I have a Ph.D. in Nuclear Physics" line was actually uttered by the Denise Richards character, Christmas Jones (yes that is the character's name), in the (hideous Pierce Brosnan) James Bond film The World is not Enough. It became a "jump the shark" meme after that for the obvious laugh-out-loud stupidity of it. Also, Mark, Owen has a TEXAS ACCENT. Mark is doing a vaguely New York accent so it sounds nothing like Owen Wilson, if that was indeed his goal.
Mark has missed the most obvious flaw of this film; it claims that this lifestyle, even though lacking glamour and aspiration, is in fact a good and virtuous. It spoon feeds us this line also (the soundtrack consisting of Lucky Man by the Verve being the low point) Bull! This is a film about a man and woman substituing their hopes and dreams (hard nosed journalism in this case) for a dog, two kids and a swimming pool. One of the worst stories and films of all time.
This guy apparently doesn't have the right view. The critic really shouldn't talk about the positives, But he shouldn't lie about that stuff. wow. It's so sad that he can't see that if he were to have a dog all his life and it pass away, that he would spend his whole life with it and it die. seriously..
I honestly didn't like this movie at all. I've never read the book so i thought it would be an actual dog story not a "let's try to get pregnant multiple times and use the dog to fill in plot holes" story. And I do agree this is a shitty reivew.
Really disappointing when Mark sits on the fence like this
he said he hated it at the end.
@@wb8905 It's called sarcasm
"I like dogs, I hated Marley and Me - maybe I just don't like people!"
There's a sentiment to live a life by.
10 years later and I’m still laughing my ass off at this review. Thanks Mark.
This is one of the best reviews ever. Not just Kermode, but just... ever.
Mark, your Pythonesque rendition of an American accent is the greatest thing I've ever heard. Absolutely hilarious 😂
Haha yeah Pythonesque indeed
.
Simon Mayo: "Oh, you're not going to read the whole thing out are you?"....Mark Kermode:(still talking).Simon Mayo:"Oh,You are!".
mark kermode’s press note voice is like the rob schneider trailer narration from south park
I saw this with my girlfriend. She LOVED it. Somewhere in my heart, I KNEW it was the beginning of the end of our relationship. I am happy to elaborate...
***** It's one of her favourite films. She can watch it anytime and it really cheers up. It didn't cheer me up. I don't mind the predictability and frothiness of it. However, I didn't laugh once - it was just too saccharine. Then there were two bits that I actually found a little unpleasant; the first was when she intimates she wants a baby and he goes "whuh?" (and ensuing plan to buy a dog to try and avoid a grown up conversation about having children) and then when he meets his friend and he starts hitting on the girls because he has a dog. Both really weird and leery scenes that (I believe) attempt to imply this is a man's default setting. We didn't get to the end. She turned it off as I had really hurt her feelings after I (unforgivably) kept talking and criticising it all the way through. Awkward silence followed. Early night. Beginning of the end.
Tweed Echidna hilarious!
Tweed Echidna Great comment! Differences in movies should by default determine if a relationship will work or not. However, I have to disagree somewhat. Yes the Owen Wilson character is an asshole but I always thought that was the point. Marley and Me is about unstable, immature adults slowly maturing over time, with Marley as the glue that holds Owen Wilson's life together. It's not a perfect movie, far from it! But I for the most part liked Marley and Me.
Congrats on escaping a bad relationship good sir!
Tweed Echidna Haha... don't elaborate.
+Tweed Echidna the eternal opposition between pessimism and optimism.
Okay, this is the first time I've laughed at one of Mayo's comments.
"I know that what comes with dogs is good and... you know, and..."
"Evil?"
Go watch the Fifty Shades of Grey review. Mayo made me crack up about, "he being the bbc bdsm"
I love the review for Fred: the Movie:
"You are no longer a broadcasting legend!"
@@ZeppelinBigFan i don’t think i have laughed harder at a movie review than kermode’s fred the movie review Ahhhh!!! flibbbitt AHhhh!!! mute him out
that and film socialisme
@@raisedonpopcornwithgrant9670 check out his Jared Leto impression in his review of House of Gucci. 🤣
Mark just nails the American synopsis voice over :P
Whether it's 'Marley and Me' or 'I' depends entirely on the context. For example, Marley and I made a shit film together' or 'Mark Kermode doesn't like Marley and me'. That's why I take Kermode's advice on films and not grammar.
Listened to the podcast in work yesterday and nearly died laughing at this rant. It had been a while since he really let loose at a crappy film, and I even thought he was mellowing out.
The best rant in a long long time! :-)
"He can't have puppies."
"Why?"
"Because the vet speaks sternly to him."
LOL
H
the american accent kills me.
"Maybe i just don't like people"
Your not alone Mark.
+Onmysheet that attitude is one of the things that's wrong with the world.
loonycushion Maybe for some people the "world" is the problem.
I agree with everything he said, but I still sobbed at the end of the movie and now that movie really is my guilty pleasure go to. I hate it, but I find myself drawn to it when hung over.
Pretty much everyone in my film class said they cried at this film, and that "anyone who doesn't has no heart". This film has no heart. It's a vile and disgusting pool of poison.
The movie was poison are you for real? And you are what's wrong with the world
HaloDieHard
People need to stop telling other people that they're everything that's wrong with the world. It's a silly cliché.
really i was more involved in the dog and read the book its not oscar winning but it does have something a dog who wins me over 😣
Bob Marley review brought me here. Oh boi, what an experience. Top notch rant.
This is the Kermode I need in my life
That review is way funnier than any comedy film Mark has talked about ...hahahaha!
"You haven't got emotion in real life, so here's a plastic thing to look after." HA! Awesome.
"It's the sound of being sick in a cup", awesome review =D
I love when Mark goes on his rants
"How far would you go for a friend?"
Also the tagline for 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days, a Romanian film about abortion.
"Shouldn't it be Marley and I?"
They are so fucking British. I love it so much. I believe he referred to this afterwards as the movie that is in fact less fun than actually putting your dog down.
"it should be Marley and... NOTHING"
Now that's a film I want to see. Directed by Werner Herzog 😜
Owen Wilson and Jennifer Anniston with their wide range of acting
This is the funniest review i have seen Mark do :)
Regardless of the movie, this is the most exuberantly hilarious Kermodean ever.
I live for these rants. Can we have less viewer emails and more of this please?
Aniston is the biggest one trick pony in the business. Shes played the same character in every movie since friends and theres more of the same to come. she sud go back to a US tv show that gets canceled after season 1 like all the rest these days
"It should be Marley and nobody" should be on the poster.
Why do people always have a go at Mayo? He's a good presenter
He's a great presenter, but his reviews aren't great
He interrupts far too much
But by far a better salad dressing.
Matt W he’s a great presenter.
Thank god there are still people out there who bash rubbish like marley & me.
best kermode line: 'it's not just poop, it's grammatically incorrect poop' gotta love it
I'm 21, still living at home, and that's a home that has always had at least one dog as long as I've lived there with one break of 1 or 2 years between two of them, and I got through the book okay, but the movie was worthless. Having a dog doesn't play so much into it as just having plain bad taste in movies. As Kermode says, if you love dogs, be with your dog, take it for a walk, don't pay to see Marley and Me. Possibly read the book, it's not half as painful.
Clearly I’m too sentimental, I cried.
yes. you are.
I haven't seen the movie but instinctively I could have guessed everything he says in the review. It's an Aniston movie
I just watched this then 'Martyrs'. Gotta love consistency.
Oh Jesus its been 12 years since this review came out 0.0
Wow,my dear departed Mom used to quote that and Walt Kellys' famous Pogo line,"We have met the enemy and he is us".Thanks for the memory!
"I love dogs. I know that what comes with dogs is good and.... you know... and--"
"Evil?"
LOL
0:50 - That's exactly what I was thinking too Simon!
Now I know what British people hear when Americans try to imitate their accents.
Jennifer Anderson's face is the visual definition of television :D
"You're not telling us the truth, you're telling us your opinion.........." Love Simon
Richard E Grant needs to do a remake of this movie, called "Withnail & Me" 😜
I enjoyed the movie alot althou that might have something to do with the fact that as a kid i had a white lab who's death was very similiar to marley's, as a result i didn't find it too sickly and everything, i guess if you don't relate to it then i could see why it would have been too much.
watched this directly after the movie and I was so glad Im not alone lmao
One of the funniest hachette job reviews I've ever seen.
Kermode: I'M A DOG LOVER!!!!
Mayo: Sorry i mentioned it
@sirheavyhitter When using the phrases "X and I" or "X and me", simply cut out "X" and form the rest of the sentence to see if "I" or "Me" is necessary. So if I were to say "I am tired" then it would be "X and I are tired". If I were to say "That belongs to me" it would be "That belongs to X and me".
"Marley and Me' is grammatically sound, by the way.
Whereas 'Withnail and I' isn't!
This is my favourite kermode rant- beats dark of the moon and sex and the city 2. Absolute gold.
However I will give dark of the moon, as that had a non verbal kermode uncut of him banging his head against a well for three minutes straight
this rant is up there with the potc3 rant that mark did, bloody hilarious
mwhaha
I bet Friday is The Knowing
Nick Cage. Bound to get a glowing review!
CAN'T WAIT!! XD
"universal themes" is the worst generic descriptor to use because its VERY obvious that its trying to be as accessible to as many people as possible purely for the sake of reaching a bigger market, all for more money. Its just extremely cynical that phrase
Just because everyone has an equal right to hold an opinion, does not mean every opinion held is equally right.
Why does Kermodes American accent always sound a bit like Carl Sagan?
Today was the first day that I ever seen this movie. By far the saddest movie I've ever seen. However I loved the movie but the ending was so sad. I actually cried real tears lol my boyfriend thought it was so funny
You should watch Schindler's List.
Hahahaha this man is amazing
hahaha i love british cynicism so much, the venom in that 4:00 hate
He starts off as Carl Sagan and ends up as Loyd Grossman.
Ha ha I also thought of the number 23!
I'd be more scared of letters running out really (well ... not scared at all!), but there's only 26 letters, in English anyway, an array of symbols, but an infinite amount of numbers!
To Mr Wage, I say, When you are scared of numbers running out look towards pi, for it simply won't end!
"I love humanity. It's people I can't stand" Linus, from "Peanuts".
Jonathan Swift!
K: "i've got dogs, i love dogs, i know that what comes with dogs is good and.."
S: "evil?"
How could he possibly read every book thats adapted for the screen? If he's gonna miss out on reading anything, I'm glad its this tripe
Keep pressing 4 for a journey of laughs
The thing is though, a lot of critics liked this film, including Roger Ebert. Kermodes definitely right about it in a lot of ways though. It's somewhat touching at the end but it's pretty corny for the most part.
yeah critics should totally not exist at all
I know I should hate this film but I just can’t. Although I did feel the need to watch Dead Man’s Shoes or some other gritty ‘the world is hell and life is pointless’ type movie afterwards.
Turning and turning on the widening gyre...
Why do they trash Courage Under Fire? That's a great movie!
Normal voice is fine. lol
I just realized that Owen Wilson and Kurt Cobain have the exact same voice
plus they both have 4-letter first names, and 6-letter surnames...omg.
Kurt Cobain's guitar playing is the sound of someone with terrible digestive cramps.
Owen Wilson plays the guitar in those sofa ads that make me feel sick.
Coincidence?
@@bloodorange6713 absolutely. Nirvana sounds brilliant. That queasy gut sound is an artistic choice, and they more than pull it off.
I was just making a silly joke about Kurt Cobain's general nausea, and my specific nausea when I saw those stupid sofa ads.
Bet they've never been seen in the same room together.
In reality when Marley was dying they sent him away and hardly spent any time with him. Disgusting way to treat any animal or any living creature.
Seeing as it's a review of the film and not of the novel, that doesn't diminish the importance of Mark Kermode's opinions or observations. He's not reviewing how well the novel has been adapted - he's judging the film on it's own (cliched and predictable) merits.
Never had I cried watching a film before. Marley and Me made me cry buckets.
I tend to avoid Owen Wilson's films, unless there's another compelling reason to see them.
it made me cry
@sirheavyhitter It depends on the context. Your example "You and I need to sort this out." is grammatically correct but if you said "This needs to be sorted out by you and I." that would be grammatically incorrect. If you are the subject then it is "me" and if not it is "I".The trick is to take out the other person (or dog in this case) and see if it makes sense.
this review is amazing
Mark seems to be forgetting that the "I have a Ph.D. in Nuclear Physics" line was actually uttered by the Denise Richards character, Christmas Jones (yes that is the character's name), in the (hideous Pierce Brosnan) James Bond film The World is not Enough. It became a "jump the shark" meme after that for the obvious laugh-out-loud stupidity of it. Also, Mark, Owen has a TEXAS ACCENT. Mark is doing a vaguely New York accent so it sounds nothing like Owen Wilson, if that was indeed his goal.
I wanted to add that I love me some Mark rants. This one is probably my favorite. It is beautiful.
He was trying to do the typical cheesy American voiceover voice
@sirheavyhitter I might have got my subjects and my objects mixed up but the point remains!
I like the bit where the dog dies. It means the film is over
"A Boy and His Dog" with Don Johnson.
lol @ the people who choose to watch a movie critic and then complain that he spoils the suspense.......
@Raymint i havent seen it either
Who dosen't love "Love Story"
you are and shamefully I want to see it!
There's nothing coming out for ages! Drought!
Great stuff
5:28
"They have this HRRitating life"
@TheHappydead But has puppies, right? And I haven't even seen the film.
0:54 Mark does a brilliant Old Gregg impression.
Mark has missed the most obvious flaw of this film; it claims that this lifestyle, even though lacking glamour and aspiration, is in fact a good and virtuous. It spoon feeds us this line also (the soundtrack consisting of Lucky Man by the Verve being the low point) Bull! This is a film about a man and woman substituing their hopes and dreams (hard nosed journalism in this case) for a dog, two kids and a swimming pool. One of the worst stories and films of all time.
"Maybe I just don't like people!"
This guy apparently doesn't have the right view.
The critic really shouldn't talk about the positives,
But he shouldn't lie about that stuff.
wow. It's so sad that he can't see that if he were to have a dog all his life and it pass away, that he would spend his whole life with it and it die.
seriously..
I honestly didn't like this movie at all. I've never read the book so i thought it would be an actual dog story not a "let's try to get pregnant multiple times and use the dog to fill in plot holes" story. And I do agree this is a shitty reivew.
I LOVE THIS MOVIE BUT...kermode still made me laugh.
@toocoolcat Outstanding comment! :)
4:15 said it all
Jennifer Aniston a high powered lawyer, not buying it.
Kate Hudson isn't a helicopter pilot..