Sh@t Grandmas don't say Other item: Am I the only one who noticed Heather with that fake preggo belly? It did look kinda cute though. But not believable. Wrong posture ;) Ex-Navy and father of three aproves of this video, trusting that many kids were yelled at in its making ;)
"Don't burn the magnesium you stole from the chem lab until I get home. If you're gonna burn down the house I should at least be there." - actual quote from my Dad. Definitely could have been in this video though.
Dude, if your shenanigans didn't result in busted windows, wrecked street lights, swiss cheese stop signs, and/or the cops at your front door, you didn't do it right.
Was sitting eating dinner and my wife said "we have something to say.." and I quickly said "we are getting a divorce and it's your fault" while looking the oldest (17 male) in the eye. The 12 male straight punched him in the mouth and started telling everything he knew his brother had done! My wife was pissed as I critiqued the punch!
Oh man... I think you just won the internet. Everything else in this video yeah maybe... But the tools. Nope. Never. That happens once and you never ever repeat that mistake.
My dad used to say, I do not mind you using the tools as long as you use them correctly, clean them after use and put them back where you found them...legend
Lost my Dad many years ago. Biggest thing I remember most my Dad did not say: My dad was former Army, a Chem Eng, and later owned a biz and had extensive lab in basement of house. Way before internet in the early 80's I would read his chemistry books for hours on end. Learned how to make a few things. Made a big something one time and placed in front yard with a buddy while he was in back yard. Went KA BOOM and rained mud for a min or so and left huge crater in front yard. He came running. When he saw the result, he didn't say a word but left and came back with wheel barrow and shovel. Didn't say a word to me but at 15 I knew exactly what to do. :) Good memories!
@@21paraflyer Unfortunately he didn't even tell me he was going for milk before he left, Don't let it detract from the joke though, laughter is my coping mechanism.
@@JulianDestroya it was still pretty damn funny. Don’t let it get ya down. I kinda wish my Dad had gone with him wherever he went… He was a bit of a prick.
I'm a father twice, and sometimes I still say shit anyway. and when that happens you have the boss who arrives shouting '' what the hell are you telling the kids?!?!'' ^^ Good job guys
True one I heard one of my best friends say while stationed at Bragg. His son yells "DAD!!!" from the other end of the house to which he replies, while sitting on the couch, "IT HASN'T BEEN PROVEN YET!!"
@@jasonlovell3934 the mower I get if the tenant doesn't handle the yard work, but no vacuum? what kind of sad individual doesn't even attempt to keep their home clean?
LMFAO though this whole thing, and the comments are excellent! Sending a link to my kids (now grown with their own families) - they'll love it! Son served, son-in-law is still in and the tradition continues!
"Don't worry about the holes in the drywall, it practically fixes itself."...."slow down or we'll be early"....."is your seatbelt off?"...."no sweat Sweety, I'll pick up some pads on the way home..."
"Listen kids, this is a thermostadt and a free country which means you can do whatever the hell you wanna do". This made me think of that one movie scene from "Daddy's Home 2 or 3" (I forgot which one).
Lmao back in 06 my 2yr old blew me in on accident, he was trying to grab his toy that went under my desk and pulled out my spit bottle instead, right in front of his mom. Oops how did that get there, must have forgot about that one when I quit and threw the others out. Yeah she didn't buy it.
I grew up in the early 2000 and when I tell people my dad let me handle guns and fireworks from about the age of six as long as I was doing so responsibly their shocked looks always give me a chuckle
I once told my hyperactive, highly intelligent, overly opinionated kids to go play hunger games, and that we'd see one of them at dinner. The look my wife gave me could have ended the Ice Age...
What else would a Dad never say 🤔. "HONEY! Our Son just fell out of the tree again! Round up the rest of the kids, get the power point running. Time for another Safety Brief!"
Okay, I needed this, so thanks. My 18-year-old son just left for AF basic, and this video reminded me of so many things I said to him ... er, or didn't say. And bonus points for Donut.
"Put those scissors down and take this" is totally my granddad. But he also taught me how to safely use a cutting tool, and always under his supervision. Which was great when I was 12, but a little boring at 25. Now, at 43, I'd be the happiest man on Earth to still have him hanging around keeping an eye on me.
Why no videos from management regarding the allegations regarding fraud within BRCC? Hard to continue support if there is no transparency regarding where our support is going. Fattening the pockets of upper management? I would hope not.
"When you come in at 3 in the morning, try not to wake me up." "No honey, you don't need to check your car's oil, water or brake fluid, you will be just fine."
Every time we drop our daughter off at college I hug her, tell I love her and raise my fist in the air and say in a loud clear voice “fight the patriarchy”.
you guys forgot the 2 biggest ones "open the damn door were trying to air condition the whole nieghborhood!" and "please leave the light on in every room you walk thru"
Years ago when my children were in high school. I said during a dinner "Guys, Mom & I have something to tell you? (My wife looking at me not knowing what I was doing). "Mom and I have decided to get divorced". With out missing a chew on his food, my son yells out " I call Mom"! The apple did not fall far from the tree!
@@biggaywizard out loud: Sure, go right ahead and stick that paperclip in the light socket. To my buddy next to me: Hol' up, watch this shit. It's fuckin funny...
Black rifle coffee company is not the pro 2a company they lead you to believe. There are tons of videos on RUclips to prove it. Do some research and stop supporting these guys. Honestly I’m surprised doughnut still does. It’s making me rethink supporting doughnut operator.
What other “Sh*t ___ Don’t Say” should we do?
if course we're going to need a "Shit Military Don't Say"
"Sh@t the police don't say."
Shit grandparents don't say, they raised me
Shit Range Officers Don't Say
Sh@t Grandmas don't say
Other item:
Am I the only one who noticed Heather with that fake preggo belly? It did look kinda cute though. But not believable. Wrong posture ;)
Ex-Navy and father of three aproves of this video, trusting that many kids were yelled at in its making ;)
My dad would hand us bags of M-80’s and tell us to have fun throwing them down the storm drain..
Sounds about right 😂
This is not a surprising statement! lol
Your old man is officially our hero! He was making sure you blew up that f**king weird-ass, spider-clown thing so it didn’t have time to surface.
My granddad handed me a 22 and said get rid of those damned armadillos lol
Your slacking heather. You know well as I do you take a upper decker and flush a m80 before walking out fast as a old fuck at the mall.
"Don't burn the magnesium you stole from the chem lab until I get home. If you're gonna burn down the house I should at least be there." - actual quote from my Dad. Definitely could have been in this video though.
I stole the sodium pellets. we put them in a model rocket with a small water balloon for a warhead. almost set the canyon on fire
Dude, if your shenanigans didn't result in busted windows, wrecked street lights, swiss cheese stop signs, and/or the cops at your front door, you didn't do it right.
My brother stole a magnesium strip. It failed to light.
Humor can't exist unless we can laugh at ourselves first. Well done lads.
couldn't have said it any better
Those who tell jokes to monkeys must prepare to get shit thrown at them.
💯
“Just a little louder, run back and forth” hahaha shit hit so home for me.
Eli fits so hard for that one :D
That one had an honest feel. Like theres company over and you have to say something to them but tastefully.
If I told my boy to shriek a little louder I think it might actually make home stop?
That sounds like a threat laced with sarcasm. A classic case of "fuck around and find out."
Was it just me or were you all also genuinely impressed about how far that tackle box rolled
All skill, baby. All skill.
That was impressive. I thought I was the only one who saw that!
Did notice that. Think it was the cringe of thinking of the cluster of hooks, lures and shit that would later need to be un-fucked
I saw that, too. It was honestly impressive.
Yes
Was sitting eating dinner and my wife said "we have something to say.." and I quickly said "we are getting a divorce and it's your fault" while looking the oldest (17 male) in the eye. The 12 male straight punched him in the mouth and started telling everything he knew his brother had done! My wife was pissed as I critiqued the punch!
I'm just impressed at how many crimes you solved with that one sentence...
Family goals right there.... 😂
You are an awesome dad man!! Keep up the good work!
How does this comment not have a million likes
Wish I would have been there. That shit was funny, just reading it.
“You’re 8 years old you can choose your own gender” 😂😂😂
That’s gonna trigger some folks and I’m here for it.
I'm glad that I wasn't the only one who thought that lol. Somewhere in this comment section a fight has started lmao.
@@M.G92211 ill bring the popcorn!!!!! 🍿🍿🍿
I got the Beer!!!😂👍
nice, now where is the argument...
Crickets ...
"Just leave those tools wherever. I'll find them when I need them"
Oh man... I think you just won the internet. Everything else in this video yeah maybe... But the tools. Nope. Never. That happens once and you never ever repeat that mistake.
Bunch of Liberals. 😡
My dad used to say, I do not mind you using the tools as long as you use them correctly, clean them after use and put them back where you found them...legend
I'm a mother of five and I have said 3/4 of this to them growing up.
Now, four in the military and they say the same sh*t to their kids 😂
Madam I salute you
Lost my Dad many years ago. Biggest thing I remember most my Dad did not say:
My dad was former Army, a Chem Eng, and later owned a biz and had extensive lab in basement of house. Way before internet in the early 80's I would read his chemistry books for hours on end. Learned how to make a few things. Made a big something one time and placed in front yard with a buddy while he was in back yard. Went KA BOOM and rained mud for a min or so and left huge crater in front yard. He came running. When he saw the result, he didn't say a word but left and came back with wheel barrow and shovel. Didn't say a word to me but at 15 I knew exactly what to do. :)
Good memories!
Raised by a crazy ww2 ranger grandpa heard this and war stories
Can't wait to show this to my dad whenever he gets back from getting milk 20 years ago.
Lol
Damn... 😁
That’s fkn funny… assuming it’s not true of course.
@@21paraflyer Unfortunately he didn't even tell me he was going for milk before he left, Don't let it detract from the joke though, laughter is my coping mechanism.
@@JulianDestroya it was still pretty damn funny. Don’t let it get ya down. I kinda wish my Dad had gone with him wherever he went… He was a bit of a prick.
I'm a father twice, and sometimes I still say shit anyway.
and when that happens you have the boss who arrives shouting '' what the hell are you telling the kids?!?!'' ^^
Good job guys
True one I heard one of my best friends say while stationed at Bragg. His son yells "DAD!!!" from the other end of the house to which he replies, while sitting on the couch, "IT HASN'T BEEN PROVEN YET!!"
No, I don’t care if you leave the lights on. I love turning them off every single time I get home from work and paying more for electricity.
Who are you, and how do you know what is happening in my home???
“Just remember, I’ll always be proud of you.” 😂💀😭
That shit was hilarious.
"Stop playing with those scissors and use this" hands over machete. 🤣🤣🤣
I don't even own a mower! This is an instant classic
Thanks, TJ! 🤘🏻
To be fair, my dad didn't either, however we also raised chickens for the longest time and would let them roam free to graze.
I am a landlord and am pretty sure most folks don’t own mowers or vacuum cleaners.
@@jasonlovell3934 the mower I get if the tenant doesn't handle the yard work, but no vacuum? what kind of sad individual doesn't even attempt to keep their home clean?
@@suprtroopr1028 have thou heard the tales of thy broom milord?
"Some people are just meant to be alone"
-my dad
Thanks for releasing this. Father(less)’s Day is always a hard day for me, but this makes me laugh my ass off.
@Captain MufDyven thanks?
@Captain MufDyven I don’t have kids……..and isn’t that before Easter?
Meh
You'll get used to it
Did you at least get to meet him?
@@juggernaut4936 a few times, but he died years after our last meet.
"Don't defend yourself against domestic abusers, thieves and pedophiles!" Dads would never say that.
Idk I've met some dudes who wives had more testosterone.
Embarrassing the crap out of my girls is what I live for, well done team, love your work.
Tell Mom to do it herself.
Yikes! That’s the ultimate nuclear strike!
Ooooh, yeah, Dad better go camping for a long weekend after that one. xD
“Just remember, I’ll always be proud of you!” Bruh
The way Caleb’s tacklebox just kept rolling is so funny
LMFAO though this whole thing, and the comments are excellent! Sending a link to my kids (now grown with their own families) - they'll love it! Son served, son-in-law is still in and the tradition continues!
This is by far the best fathers day video I've seen imma go show it to my dad
Now he’ll be proud of you for sure.
"Don't worry about the holes in the drywall, it practically fixes itself."...."slow down or we'll be early"....."is your seatbelt off?"...."no sweat Sweety, I'll pick up some pads on the way home..."
Tbf, I would do the last one... kinda know shit like that can happen...
My uncle always told us before a date "you to behave yourselves, if you can't, just name it after me"
Lol.....dad used tell us when we would go hunting as a child...... "remember if you get lost....the bark grows on the outside of trees" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
"Listen kids, this is a thermostadt and a free country which means you can do whatever the hell you wanna do". This made me think of that one movie scene from "Daddy's Home 2 or 3" (I forgot which one).
The, "Of course you can tell mom I started dipping again." one got me good.
Lmao back in 06 my 2yr old blew me in on accident, he was trying to grab his toy that went under my desk and pulled out my spit bottle instead, right in front of his mom. Oops how did that get there, must have forgot about that one when I quit and threw the others out. Yeah she didn't buy it.
1:29 I love how the temperature on the thermostat changes while he's talking about it.
I grew up in the early 2000 and when I tell people my dad let me handle guns and fireworks from about the age of six as long as I was doing so responsibly their shocked looks always give me a chuckle
I’m a teenager now and my dad tells me that! Gotta love farm country.
@@allegraadams3037 agreed im almost 25 and it served me well growing up that way
"Just remember monsters are real" "they'll fuck you up" that made me spit my coffee out 😆 🤣
That's coffee abuse. You better lap that up, really quick. 😂
@@BlackRifleCoffeeCompany Roger that.. lapping the coffee time now.. 🤣
My Dad would always tell us kids, nieces and nephews "to go play on the freeway" when we started getting wild.
Did you?
I once told my hyperactive, highly intelligent, overly opinionated kids to go play hunger games, and that we'd see one of them at dinner. The look my wife gave me could have ended the Ice Age...
Donut should have said "Of course you can spend $5000 on Robuxs!"
Hitting a little too close to home there🤣
Jack bringing the sass is what I needed today.. Great sketch!
He’s one SASSY momma. We mean… Oh you know what we mean!😂
Definitely upload the bloopers from this
“You’re holding the flashlight perfectly!”
What else would a Dad never say 🤔.
"HONEY! Our Son just fell out of the tree again! Round up the rest of the kids, get the power point running. Time for another Safety Brief!"
These are the dads we think we want, then when we don’t get them, we’re happy because of it.
"You are the reason we're getting a divorce."
Had to go back and watch the rest of the video again because I was still laughing from that.
Your holding that flashlight in the perfect spot, please continue...
I've literally told my three teenagers that the idea parents don't get divorced because of the kids is a goddamn lie. And they know I wasn't joking.
Okay, I needed this, so thanks. My 18-year-old son just left for AF basic, and this video reminded me of so many things I said to him ... er, or didn't say. And bonus points for Donut.
"Get on top of the shed" had me rolling. Slick reference.
"Just remember, I'll always be proud of you."
Ouch. Too close to home.
i felt that one as well
Dad always said, "Always... no Never...."
"Put those scissors down and take this" is totally my granddad. But he also taught me how to safely use a cutting tool, and always under his supervision. Which was great when I was 12, but a little boring at 25. Now, at 43, I'd be the happiest man on Earth to still have him hanging around keeping an eye on me.
This is WAY too perfect!
Why no videos from management regarding the allegations regarding fraud within BRCC? Hard to continue support if there is no transparency regarding where our support is going. Fattening the pockets of upper management? I would hope not.
“Hey if you could go make another finger painting on that white wall with your shit, that’ll be great!!!!” OMG I snarfed my coffee
Kids be wild!
Wondering now if Donut has personal experience with John being that...artistic...as a kid 😉
Holy s#!t this video is hilarious I'm a dad so this all makes me laugh my a$$ off.. you guys at black rifle are intense man. 🤣 🤣 🤣
"When you come in at 3 in the morning, try not to wake me up." "No honey, you don't need to check your car's oil, water or brake fluid, you will be just fine."
I miss my dad offering me a beer.
Me too. That fuckin intervention ruined everything.
My dad has slipped a few times "I should have worn a condom". Granted one of those times was when we caused about 3-4k of damages in 12seconds.
Pink rifle coffee needs to hide underneath a rock.
Thanks guys. my new favorite channel.
1:50 he said a green beret! 😂😂😂😂😂
I don't think there are words that can describe how badly I needed this video.. great video and thank you!!!!
You're welcome.
Jarred: “Fuck white New Balance shoes!!”
Every Father in the Universe: “There’s a disturbance in the force…”
Nah that last one is one hundred percent how it's gonna be if it ain't already
This is by far the best one yet!
That's saying a lot. We've dropped some bangers.
“I’ll always be proud of you.” That one hit too close to home. Hahah 😂
Every time we drop our daughter off at college I hug her, tell I love her and raise my fist in the air and say in a loud clear voice “fight the patriarchy”.
you guys forgot the 2 biggest ones "open the damn door were trying to air condition the whole nieghborhood!" and "please leave the light on in every room you walk thru"
"Another speeding ticket? Honey, that's awesome!! Atta girl!!"
Happy Father's Day to all of you, and BRCC, thanks for another great laugh!
Nailed it...I can't even pick a favorite..all gems
Matt’s babysitter one and “Your 8 years old you can choose your own gender” had me dying
Lol you have donut operator in there saying stuff too. That’s awesome. You are bunch of funny awesome dudes.
My dad would give me a lit cigarette to go shoot fireworks.
Years ago when my children were in high school. I said during a dinner "Guys, Mom & I have something to tell you? (My wife looking at me not knowing what I was doing). "Mom and I have decided to get divorced". With out missing a chew on his food, my son yells out " I call Mom"! The apple did not fall far from the tree!
I don't know if that snake is poisonous but you should definitely pick it up.
I died laughing at that.
Holt, all those years on Bragg taught us one thing, always f**k with the wildlife.
@@BlackRifleCoffeeCompany I did basic training at Ft Jackson in 1998. One guy in my platoon kept wanting to catch rattlesnakes.
they're good eatin'
I went into this thinking I was going to be guilty of a few of these
"You turned on the interior ceiling lights of the car? No problem at all bud, just make sure to turn it off when you are done"
You missed: your a great help holding up that flash light honey
Shit you dont hear patriots say: "Hey, go buy some black rifle coffe."
Was hoping someone would remind them we still remember that they turned on someone who was acting in self-defense.
Dying🤣🤣 I especially love the one yes 4 is a good age to start dipping Copenhagen
“Both of you can absolutely fit in the dryer” is something I would definitely say
What could possibly go wrong?
@@BlackRifleCoffeeCompany i plead the 5th!
I knew i could when i was 13 or 12 because of hide and seek.
2:07 I think four is a good age to start chewing Copenhagen. I spit my beer out laughing
I'm pretty sure I've said a few of these things to my kids 👍
It’s a father’s right. 😎
I know for a fact I've said some of these things to my kids and laughed my ass off for an hour after.
@@biggaywizard out loud: Sure, go right ahead and stick that paperclip in the light socket.
To my buddy next to me: Hol' up, watch this shit. It's fuckin funny...
Some of these hit a little close to home lol . “Yeah you can tell mom I started dipping again”
Yes son, that stripper really does love you...
If I can remember literally the stuff my daughter said over the years it’s absolutely hysterical
I wonder how any of them would react to their daughters (when and if they have them) have their prom date pick them up
I had to stop and catch my breath after " F*ck white New Balance shoes!"😆😆😆😆😆😆😆
I almost choked for real with the "you're 8 years old" skit. This videos way too funny
“I’ll always be proud of you”
That one stings a bit
My dad has genuinely said "he should of worn a condom" my whole life😂...😭
Ehh, my bio Mother says that instead...
Make sure you never check the fluids in your car.
"Kyle Rittenhouse is guilty even before a trial" and "I'm gonna go talk to the New York Times" are two things Dad doesn't say.
Doughnuts finger painting part 😂😂😂
Why’d y’all donate to the DNC?
Cause in a free country they can and don't have to explain why.
I think the funniest part about this is it's the longest Sh*t ___ Don't Say they've done, and it could probably keep going...I love being a dad
"Somebody please.... take the remote."
Black rifle coffee company is not the pro 2a company they lead you to believe. There are tons of videos on RUclips to prove it. Do some research and stop supporting these guys. Honestly I’m surprised doughnut still does. It’s making me rethink supporting doughnut operator.
Heres another one..... "Yea, I Pulled out. Ask your Mom who your Daddy is"
overheard that one from a guy in the Barracks
Your coffee is crap as are your politics. Blocking your channel after commenting.
Oh PLEASE do a "Sh*t Politicians Don't Say"!!!!