THIS WILL BREAK YOUR HEART... 💔 (Viewer Discretion Advised)
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- Опубликовано: 16 фев 2024
- VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED | LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Sometimes life is incredibly hard, we might believe that our pain is unbearable, we might believe that we are suffering too much to continue our journey in this world. I wish this wasn't real, I wish I could do something to go back in time, I wish we could still be holding hands... I am out of words because the pain that I am feeling is greater than anything I could express, the only thing that I keeps coming to my head is why? Why you? Why you thought that life was not worth living anymore? I will never understand and my heart will be forever broken because of this... I always believed that we were meant to be together and I never accepted our separation, but this... this is beyond my understanding. I will always remember you as my person, because you were. I am not sure when you started to feel lost, but I always felt home when I was by your side. You were smart, you were funny, you were romantic, you were loved by so many and I hope wherever you are now you will finally understand and accept our eternal love for you. I will miss you forever Philip... I hope you feel peace now...
Please don’t be afraid of asking for help. You matter, the world is a better place with you in it. Reach out to any friends or family. If you are alone, hold on, you got this, life can get better, angels are real sometimes they are a phone call away.
If you ever feel in danger with dark thoughts please call to these number or visit these websites:
~ Suicide Prevention Phone Line: ☎️ 👉🏽 988
~ Suicide Prevention Resource Center: sprc.org
~ Drug and Alcohol Addiction Hotlines: ☎️ 👉🏽 (888) 496-2870
~ Drug and Alcohol Addiction Resources: americanaddictioncenters.org/...
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#suicideprevention #suicidepreventionawareness #philipandlidia #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthadvocate #depression #anxiety #depressionmanagementfe
No words can describe this pain. I will never understand why all of this has happened... Please use the comment section as a way to support me and others that might be going through a similar situation. Avoid any negative interaction because there will be consequences. Grief took over and it's almost imposible to move on, hopefully with your support I can feel a little bit like myself again. It's going to take time, it will be challenging but I can't keep hiding in the darkness for any longer. Thanks to all of you that during all these months still subscribed and showed concern from all these months not uploading videos. I am sure that you will understand that I was not in my right mind to be sharing anything online. If you would like to support me and connect with me in a more personal level, please consider to become a Patreon: www.patreon.com/lidiarico here I'm sharing exclusive updates every week.
DBC..DAILY BLESSINGS COMING! ... Thank You ALL for Everything Everyday!! .. The GOOD, The Bad, HAPPY & Sad. I BELIEVE EVERYTHING Happens for a Reason and I'm BLESSED EVERYDAY Regardless the Situation! ... I'm so SORRY! ... I've also Lost so many Loved Ones and almost ALL My Family members. I FEEL You and I'm Sorry.... My cousin commit way back... My mother was murdered, Lost My Uncle, then Auntie and GF.... I'm for sure trying to figure out LIFE and get away from the Devil but I Always am Negative, NO Friends, and No Motivation..... But Remember I LOVE YOU and Love EVERYTHING EVERYDAY!! ....
Hi you don't know me.
But when I saw your vlogs, I thought they were so beautiful. It's very sad that that phase of life happened to you. I send you love light strength from the Netherlands.
Namaste 🙌💚🪷🧿🕉Sharon de Rijk🙏 from the Netherlands🇾🇪Amsterdam
Lidia, I am sending loving and healing prayers. You are a beautiful soul with such a pure heart. Love surrounds you always.
My Father took his own life when I was 14 years old. I have struggled to cope with the pain my whole life. I sincerely appreciate the pain you are feeling. Even now at 53 years old, although I have had to learn to deal with the loss my heart is still broken
God bless and protect you. Sending prayers and love to you ❤
Lidia my dear, as a guy who has suffered from depression and PTSD for 15+ years now, I can assure you that there is absolutely nothing that you could have done to avoid this outcome. On the contrary, from the outside looking in, YOU were Phillip's light. Without YOU this most likely would have happened 10+ years ago. Those of us who have seriously considered this option know, it's a voice in your head that, without a light to hang onto, becomes so loud that it can't be ignored or suppressed. I hope that you can get back to being the adorable light that we all know and love. ❤️ While you were on your Italian sanity break, we have missed you.😁👍
So sorry to hear that. Lost my cousin 8 years ago to suicide. Such a said way to go when they just have to reach out for help
So True!!
Thank you for your lovely message to Lydia ❤
Thank you Bob for your message, I am writing this with tears in my eyes. It's curious that you expressed this because my mother said something very similar to what you just described. Hopefully I can feel a little bit stronger day by day after sharing this. I was in my own head for almost 6 months and this was poisoning my soul. I missed you guys too, I realized that creating these videos is something that I was meant to do in this earth. If I can help someone by sharing my story, my life propuse will be complete.
I am sorry for your lost @@callen129 it's never easy to make peace when suicide touches the family
I feel for you. I lost my wife of 34-1/2 years in May of this year. I now know what depression is. And I now realize how serious it is. But as always I will send you my positive energy and my well wishes. And I hope that you continue to show the strength that you have inside and push forward and never stop believing in yourself. God bless you.
Lidia this happened to me. My husband, whom I loved with my heart left me. He told me I deserved better. I was devastated! But 15 years later I realized he protected me from his mental illness. He wasn't healthy. I think your husband did that for you to save you from heartache. I'm sorry you are going to this. It's not easy but you will rise above it and forgive him for what he's did. 💔
could be the reason. I have never seen anyone getting away doing something evil. everyone knows what they are doing
I am so sorry, Lidia. I lost my dad to suicide and 23 years later I lost my brother the same way. They both pushed me away before took their lives which I think made it easier for them to go through with it. I think of them both and miss them every single day. I’m glad to see that you have gone to be with your family to have their support at this time. Try to remember the good times and take care of yourself💙
Thank you Victoria for sharing your story here with everyone in the comments. My heart is with you. You described it so well, somehow they push us away and somehow they get in their own mind. I am trying to take care of myself but you know, it's hard sometimes.
@@LidiaRico it is so hard, there’s no denying that, but remember you are a strong woman, even on the days you feel weak. Sending you love and peace as you navigate through your grief.
Oh my, Im so sorry. God bless you.
Lidia, I’m a suicide survivor of 26 years. I felt ‘that’ energy fall off my shoulders 20 years post. I learned to live in-between the ‘waves’ of sadness, sorrow, grief, and fear I’d take my own… and over the years, I relearned how to replace the emotion with laughter and joy and dwell on the joys we shared.
My Love and strength goes with you. Give yourself the freedom to stay in each moment that arises. We get through this moment in time with each New breath and eventually we’ll see how much impact we have on others because we share our vulnerability.
Much Love and Blessings from my ❤ Lidia. We Can Be A Light for others.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and wise words, with time I hope to laugh and smile when I remember him, right now still so painful ❤🩹
Thanks for sharing. Lots of luv n prayers to u.
As a suicide survivor I want you to know that it had nothing to do with you or anything you did. When we are in our dark place we don't see anything but that. It becomes us. We separate from the people we love most afraid of hurting them. So we tell ourselves that it's better that way. It's hard to describe. But I know when I did what I did I just wanted silence from the word around me. To just shut off. I never thought of how anyone else would feel. I am very lucky to be alive today with 4 daughters and 3 grandchildren. I still struggle from time to time. But I have gained coping skills for that. And now I live one day at a time. You will always feel the pain. But please don't wonder what you could have done differently. Because there nothing you could have done. So please don't hold guilt over that. You will find joy again in life and peace in your heart. Just when you start to think about it put a positive memory in its place. Because he will always live on in your heart in memories. But no this he would want you to be happy. Live for him life is beautiful and the world is at your feet. Big hug, and send love
I lost my best friend of 30 years to suicide a couple of years ago. It is very hard, I understand. Thank you for sharing.
Wow. I had the video playing in the background while working and I kept hearing you say my name Phillip committed suicide. And it brought me back to the day that I tried to do the same. What a dark place I was in mentally so I know whatever he was going through had nothing to do with you. Please don't feel like you had anything to do with this. I know it's easier said than done and Im not sure if you mentioned it but I know there's the feeling that you could have done something and the truth is if you could have you would have so please don't blame your self mental health is real. I'm sorry for anyone going through this, please do not be alone. Surround yourself with good people and stay prayed up.
Thank yo Philip for being so sincere with all of us in the comments. I did blame myself at times but I know I tried my hardest to keep him in the light with me. Now the only thing I can do is to share awareness
@@LidiaRico you're absolutely right. A lot of good can come out of this ugly situation. The best thing to do is to shed awareness and also what helped me in my recovery was service work. There's a tremendous amount of healing that happens when we step out of ourselves and focus on helping others going through similar situations. I will continue to pray for your strength safety and love.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you were with your family the last few months. I've wondered where you were and hoped you were getting the refresh/help you needed as I saw you were in a lot of pain deep down. Please know that people do care. Life is hard...but it is worth it to keep going. Be a light in the darkness. Keep Jesus close and let Him be your strength! Prayers going up for you, your family, Philip's family and your entire circle! Big hugs 🙏💗🙏
As someone who suffers from suicidal thoughts know it is not your fault. We push away people at our worst. I just came out of a crisis center and now am in a womans abuse shelter. I lost everything. I am getting help and its rough. We know there are people who love us we just deeply believe the people we love would be better off with out us. We feel like burdens. I hope this gives u peace of mind that its never your fault or anything to do with you. Big hugs. ❤
Thank you for your love and support and for sharing with all of us in the comments what you're going through. It shows that you are very brave, please continue to take care of yourself using all the resources that you have in hand. It's very important that you stay ion the light with us
We all have our own unique value. In life we tend to forget that. Life is a test for us all here, and these past four years have been very difficult, and we have to rise above it. I genuinely wish you well, happiness, and courage to go on. Please care for yourself, your soul. You have value, meaning, beauty.
This is 100% correct, please don't blame yourself. When we're in full blown depression we think so little of ourselves that we simply can't fathom someone loving us because we hate ourselves so much. There was nothing short of locking him up that would have stopped him, and you can't lock a person up forever.
Thank you for sharing. There is a whole group here supporting you! Many prayers that you find peace and can move forward. We each make choices and I as a survivor worked on inner peace, and being here for my kids and family ❤ they were my strength even though I never shared my struggles at the time.
Prayers for you ❤
Sorry for your loss. I have lost friends from depression and suicide. Thank you for sharing your story, it’s important for people to hear this and the message of hope and getting help. No one in this world is here without help from someone else. We all need help from time to time to get through hard times. You are a very special person and your message is important for all to hear.
My ex-wife’s fiancé recently committed suicide, he was also my friend and our daughter’s stepdad .
It doesn’t make sense and I don’t think it ever will.
Thank you for sharing this it helps to know there are others feeling the same things and going over the 1000 what ifs.
Also thank you for your words on mental health.
Hello sweetheart, first of all I am so sorry and my heart is with you. It will never will make sense and like you say 1000s of questions and what ifs but we had nothing to do with their choice of ending their life. I hope this video helps others to be more careful and to take seriously this topic and their lives
I have watched since close to the beginning. With how much this hurts my heart I cannot imagine how hard this is for you. Sending my love to you & everyone who cares for Phillip.
Thank you uso much for your condolences
Your video just popped up on my feed and I don’t know anything about you. But this video broke my heart. Sending so much love and support to you and others who are suffering. It’s awesome that you posted this. I have no doubt you are helping a lot of people. So many people will see this and be encouraged and strengthened. Praying for you. And now a new follower of your channel. 🩷
Lidia, My dad did the same. I really like the way you couched your comments in such a caring manner. I noticed you used the word ‘stigma’ and you have helped bring this topic under the spotlight. My advice, keep yourself busy until you digest such a tragedy. Remember Philip for how he lived not how he passed. Unconditional love lives forever.
Thank yo so much for leaving a comment and for sharing what happened in your life as well. Yes, it feels like a stigma for some people, it's definitely a sensitive topic but it was important to me to bring awareness and hopefully help others that are maybe going throw something similar. I'll try to stay as busy as I can, thanks for your support
I remember your guy's channel together, I loved both you and Philip, I am so sorry. May he rest in heavenly peace.
Thank you 🙏
I'm so sorry for your lose. You left me frozen with the news I wouldn't have ever thought a guy like philip would have ended that way . I was sad with your break up because were great on screen together and then this,😢. My prayers are with you and philips family. You stay strong and positive, your a beautiful soul and I wish you all the best.❤
Thank you so much for your condolences and your prayers ❤🩹 it's definitely the hardest thing I have ever experienced
Oh Lidia. I'm so very sorry you're going thru this. I lost my closest friend who was like my little brother to suicide in 2020. It is a pain like no other. I crumbled. I still have mental hiccups because of it. Take your time, take care of yourself. There is no timeline for grief. Take as much time as you need. Sending you many hugs and lots of love. You are not alone.
I lived so much of my life drowning in the fear that things would be so much easier if I could just leave for so many reasons. It's still a real challenge every day even when I have way more good things in my life now and I'm happy to be here. Being willing and able to mentally and emotionally allow yourself to experience love and understanding from unexpected sources is so important. Thank you so much for recording this video! 🙌🌟🙌 Many miracles for all of you! 🫰🫰🫰🦦🌟🌠🌌
It does break my heart that this happened i went through a nasty divorce and depression is so real i was on the edge and asked Jesus to give me strength to carry on i have found new purpose in life it was worth it all asking for help i pray good things go to you
Thank you so much for your prayers, I need all the help to speed the healing ❤🩹
I'll send you all I can I've been there and I made it out Jesus christ was my answer I hope you can find him it's way better with him in my life
Oh Lidia I wanna give you a big ass flipping HUGGG!! I have been watching Philip and you since you guys started the channel and wow to see Philip transition to the other side is so sad. I can only imagine how hurt and sad you are, ugh your heart!! I love you so much. I just lost my best friend to suicide and I know how you feel it sucks, it hurts, and some days you question your value. I get it. Let the tears flow and let grief have its moments. You got this and so do i. My heart hurts with you *virtual hug*
Thank you Anita for your love and I am so sorry for your loss as well. Life is a painful path sometimes but we need to keep on pushing forward
Hola Lidia! I'm glad you shared this with everyone. I am so sorry for your loss. I know you loved him. He loved you too. Remember the good times. The pain you feel now will lessen in time. Glad to hear your Mom helped you. I can see she fed you well, and your hair looks great! I missed your videos and look forward to new vids you post. Be strong Lidia,
Your friend Dane
Thank you Dane, I will be posting new videos starting this week. I have already two vlogs ready to go and I am exited to come back
Hello Lydia, I am so sorry for your loss and I do care a lot. I watched all the videos of you & Phillip before. My oldest son committed suicide too and I understand your pain. I'm glad you mentioned about suicide prevention. I just want to support you emotionally. Yes everyone matters. My husband died in an unusual accident 3 years ago and I've been alone all this time. I have times I feel so lonely. I know I need to reach out and not isolate.
I am soooo sorry for your loss! 😢My husband did it also in 2018....takes your breath away! One of the most painful things to go thru ...I am still working on figuring out how to live n figure out a new life ...hang in there ❤
I'm so sorry for your loss. Keep in mind that your time together was just one chapter of your life and cherish those memories. You still have life to live and a new chapter will come along. Make the best of each day to be your best person. You have a beautiful sole to share with everyone around you. May peace and love be in your hart. RIP Philip.
Thank you Mike, life is hard but I can only wish for a bright future ahed
@@LidiaRico I always like watching your travels and builds. I bought a van too, for adventures. I was inspired to get out there. I hope some day you continue to live your best life and feel loved again.
Lidia, Im so sorry for your loss. 💔Thank you for sharing. As someone who has struggled with my mental health and suicidal ideations and even a few attempts over the last 8years or so. Thankfully I survived and got the help I needed. But I still work at it everyday. Some days are harder than others. There is nothing you could have done. I know it's hard to believe. As guys we need to do better at checking on our fathers, brothers, friends etc on their mental health, tell them they aren't alone. Talking about him and sharing your experience and thoughts feelings can help so many. You're not alone. ❤
I don't even know you but I love you. You will always have a place in my heart! My 8 years relationship ended last year, my favorite uncle passed away, and after 5 year in university AI stole my job. The only thing we can do is to live the moment, always here and now, trying to be grateful for the time we still have. Everyone is lost, the difference is that some people are able to pretend they're not. We are only humans, let's not put all that weight over our shoulders. Btw. Greetings from Brazil, sis! Take care ❤
Keep posting. It will be cathartic. You are not alone. A whole youtube community is watching and sending positive vibes to you. Stay strong, you will survive and you will be rewarded with a strength you never knew you had. Tragedy can transform into beauty. Find yourself. You are worth it❤
I lost my older brother to this. I feel your pain.
I'm sorry to hear that Johnny, I can't even imagine bro
I'm very sorry for your loss! This kind of situation always leaves you full of questions, doubts and feelings that maybe you could have done something. In time you will realize there is only so much anyone can do to help someone else. So glad you were able to go home & be with family for support and for sure talking about it is good for you. They say you never really get over a loss you just learn to move forward. Give it time and God bless!
Thank you so much for the love and condolences. Things will be forever different and now I have to learn to take care of myself in a different level. Time will heal me...
so much love to you. no words can describe. i lost a lifelong friend recently and have been isolating too with what feels like a heart that will be forever squished but we do eventually find our way out of the cave, one step at a time. i read this recently and wanted to share encase it helps anyone. ''sometimes when we can only see darkness it's because we are the light and we are the way out''
Dang, unreal to me too. Super harsh. I will never understand this. But there are a vast family of people who love you out in the world. I am so grateful your mom is there for you. Most importantly, this is not any of your fault. You WILL find your way, and your heart WILL be healed. Look up for the joy.
Lidia, my heart goes out to you. Suicide makes the living the victims. I lost a close family member to suicide over 25 yrs ago but the hurt comes back when every think of them. It is one of the hardest thing to get thru. It’s a beautiful thing you are doing in Philip’s memory. I’m so sorry and saddened to hear your pain. I wish you well. Be strong and stay close to people that have your back and support you whenever you need it most.
Life is loss. The older I get the more I realize that. After many losses and the sudden loss of my dear sister, who was my best friend, I woke up the next day with gratitude. I'm grateful to have known her, and all the blessings in my life. Things get taken away from us, which is why we should appreciate the good things in our life while we have them. We can write new chapters and live in gratitude for each new day. I'm glad to see you are Lidia. :)
I’m so sorry to hear that news, I can understand the brokenness that you’re going through. You have a lot of people here that follow you & we all pray that you stay strong & overcome this trail cause you are the voice for those who need to seek help, you have a beautiful spirit & there is a light within you & you will be guided through this journey you are not alone. God Bless You.
I am so deeply sorry for this devastating loss. Depression, mental illness... is a very serious reality that many mask and are afraid to share. Gracias for being vulnerable and sharing about this earth shattering news. There are no words of wisdom to share other than this time is so important for you to do self care. Speak to someone (a therapist) if needed. The after effect of such a devastating loss can be a roller-coaster for sure. (I lost my fiancé many years ago). One thing I had to hold on to, was that I was Not Alone, even though I felt like I was. And sadly I watch my grandson struggle with depression and he refuses help. I lift you in loving healing thoughts and pray that he is at peace now 💗 It's devastating, be kind to yourself 💔
Thank you so much for your prayers ❤🩹
Thank you for keeping us informed. My wife and I have been following your channel for years and we were concerned when. you returned to Spain but knew it was for a good reason. We are sorry for your loss but know that time heals all wounds, sort of. Your advice is genuine and may help prevent a trajedy in someone else's life. Continue to do God's work, even though you may not see the results in this life. We send you our love and hope that others do as well.
Thank you so much for this comment your the love & support. As hard as it was making this video, I knew that I had to do it. Suicide is only a permanent solution to a momentary problem. Philip is not the only one and sadly won't be the last one but my soul and the light tome me that was about time to break my silence. We need to stay in god's hands not the devil's
Its so difficult when a loved one takes their life. My youngest brother took his life and it left me feeling numb, broken and feeling incredibly guilty. Thank you for sharing this heartbreaking tragedy and the great advice you offer. God bless and may peace be upon you in your time of need.
I'm so sorry for your loss 😢 these past few years (during the covid years) have been extremely hard on everyone's mental health. I hope with time and support (from family and friends and kind strangers) you begin to find your positive energy again. Thank you for sharing your heart-felt video. Wishing you sunshine and rainbows 🌈 ☀️
Thank you for stopping by and leaving me a sincere comment ❤️🩹
My 16 year old son did this a few years ago. I’m so sorry. The pain is unreal.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me and all of us in the comments. My heart is with you, the pain will never leave our hearts. Suicide is real and it touches way too many families and homes. I am sure you miss your son, but wherever he is now, he knows that you love him and one day you'll be able to hug him again.
🥹🙏🏼❤️
Omg I’m so so so sorry L. My heart breaks for you 😢 I have a family member that committed suicide a few years ago. you’re gonna be OK. We’re gonna be here to help you grow your channel. Just hang in there.
Thank you ❤️
Hey Lidia, I came across your videos today, and I knew your videos was something special and I had to see them! We all know death is such an hard thing to deal with, but suicide is one of the hardest deaths to endure! There's nothing that can be said to ease a broken heart of the individuals and love ones they leave behind! If you lean on The Lord, with those beautiful memories of all The GOOD times you had together, He along with your family and friends Will See You Through this tough times! (MEMORIES ARE MADE TO EASE OUR HEARTS AND HELP US THROUGH THE TOUGH TIMES AFTER WE HAVE DEPARTED) Hang in there and LISTEN to your Memories of your heart! He's There with you!
Man I’m so sorry to hear that!.. he looked like a great person no one deserves this at all blessings to you and his family and may he rest in peace. 🙏🏽
sorry for your loss . You are an incredible person in every way .
Thank u❤🩹
I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. While you are in the middle of the pain, it might feel like it will never end. But in time it will not hurt so much.
Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. I know that is difficult.
Internet hugs and good vibes.
Thank you for the warm love and support, it really helps
@@LidiaRico You're welcome.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I assure you he thought he was doing the right thing, but when someone is suicidal they are in a deep black hole and without help, you can’t get out. I’m a suicide survivor, and to wake up and see the pain in your loved ones faces, it’s truly devastating. God gave me a second chance. I’ve never felt that way ever again. Thank god or my children would never been able to stay together. I assure you, he thought he was taking care of a burden, a burden on others, but that’s just not the truth and he knows that now. He will give you signs he’s around. Notice them and let it give you comfort. I’m subscribed and can’t wait for your next video. Lots of love to you❤❤❤❤❤
Very sorry for your pain. I've experienced it myself. Don't try to understand it because you never will. I've know 4 people that did this and by all outward appearances, they seemed as normal and happy as anyone else. You must accept that we never really know what goes on inside someone elses head. Sometimes people that feel hopeless are great at hiding it. You'll never forget, but in time, it really does get easier. Try to live your best life for them and for yourself.
I don't remember having watched a video so sad. I have no words. Life is a fight against unreal things - take care of yourself.
I know, it took me almost 6 months to have the courage to speak up about this ❤🩹
I'm shocked. I've watched you guys doing the van life thing for years. Even though I've been affected by suicide before, I can't imagine what you're going through after losing someone you felt was your person like that. I wish you strength through these difficult times. My deepest condolences.
Thank you for you condolences ❤🩹
Thank you for this beautiful message. Im sorry for your pain and loss. You will grow strongee.❤
Oh Lidia, this was an incredibly emotional video to watch and I can only imagine how emotional it was to make. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing and your vulnerability. You imparted much wisdom from your lived experience that will help others. You're an incredibly strong, upbeat, and positive person with so much light. I know it doesn't feel like it as you're going through this tremendous loss. I'm sure that feels diminished inside right now, and none of this makes sense at all. I can already see the shift in you and your videos. As strong as you are, you will emerge with so much lived insight to help make the world a better place for everyone whose life you touch. I did notice your absence and knowing you were going through a hard time, I was concerned about you. I could have never imagined this, and it is indeed heart breaking. I support you and pray healing for your heart and life. Sending hugs.
Im crying pretty hard but I've tried 3 times giving up and you are right everyone matters no matter what even if you feel like giving up and tell the truth about how you feel cuz you me everyone deserves to live and be helpful and true to everyone and I'm doo sorry that you had to deal with the lose of love I Love You ❤️
Thank you for sharing, today is a sad one and I am crying here with you also. We all matter and it's imperative that we stay in the light not the darkness
Lidia my heart is broken. We love Philip and you too. My brother from another Mike took his life in June 2020 we have been friends/roommates and fans of each other since 1988. I called the hotline and got help. And like you and many others I am living our lives as one person now. I’m now in therapy DBT therapy in a group. I will be for now on. It’s very strong and good of you to share. My sincere condolences dear Lidia you are the light.
Thank yo for sharing your story I am sure it's not easy. Support groups it's always a great idea and resource to use when we're not doing good.
Lidia, part of my heart and soul with you
Omg, I support you 100%, it,s okay, you will go through so many different phases after this, I truly hope hope you come out of this in a good place , but there is nothing you could do , i to have gone through this depression and we don,t talk because no one understands, we don,t understand, stay strong girl stay strong , you are amazing
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you're going through. God bless you. Just keep being you and living your life to the fullest. Find your joy!
Thank you ❤️
I’m sending you so much love!! Sorry for everything you are going through. 💜💔
Hey its so hard being an earthling sometimes. You are very brave to share your pain here. Best wishes for your healing from this time.
I respect your honesty. I am so sorry for your loss. Take time to grieve and heal. Peace!
I survived my Dad dying in my arms, and the PTSD it gave me. Id offer to help you as well, but something tells me you wont accept. I am old enough to be your father, and I do want to help, but thats still up to you hun.... I do hope you are finding a reason to smile every day, because it helps and hugs hun.
Thank for sharing your story, I also have PTSD from so many terrible traumas I endured the last two years. I am in the process of healing and I hope that by sharing these videos I can also help others going through similar situations
So heavy 😞.. I was once in a bad spot in my mind. Always enjoyed seeing him in the videos (fellow mechanic). Sometimes we'll never understand why. As painful as it is, he's out of pain. As my heart breaks for you, just know you are also loved by many.. ❤🙏
Thank you for the love ❤🩹 I know you always watched our videos
I am very sorry and can't imagine what you're going through. I was recently diagnosed with ptsd due to my wife's suicide 5 years ago. It is a pain like no other. I'm still in therapy and still learning how to live with it. You are not alone. I'm here and we're all here for you. My condolences to your family and his as well.
Hola Lidia! La verdad es que es la primera vez que me topo con uno de tus videos y a pesar de no conocerte, es evidente que tu dolor es real. Desde la distancia te envio mucho amor y luz y admiro tu resiliencia en esta historia tan cruda. Espero que puedas tener mucha paciencia contigo misma y tratar de tener presente en tu mente que el duelo es un proceso que no es lineal, sino que viene en oleajes. Y en cada ola nos tenemos que esforzar por volver a aplicar la misma paciencia y amor propio! 🤍
I’m so sorry again💔 my heart breaks for you, I’ve lost some friends to suicide, it took me a lot of therapy and accepting the GRIEF, it’s hard bc you want to stay strong but I should’ve let it out instead of suppressing it for years. Much love again🤎
Thanks, I was suppressing my emotions for almost 6 months now and I thot it was time to let it go
I’m sorry about your loss I wish you a best in life
about 8 years ago a friend of mine did the same. everyone of us at the funeral had some level of regret including myself. “i was just going to give him a call to see if [something]..” everyone if us had some sort of feeling that if we were just able to have talked with him maybe it would have changed something. probably not, but at least you could have a little less guilt.
anyway i’m so sorry lidia.
Sorry for your loss. I have personally fought my inner demons for years but have managed to always see the goodness in life. Take care of yourself
I’m sorry you are going through this. Thank you for sharing your pain.
Thank you for listening
My condolences Lydia,
I'm sorry for your loss and I will pray for Phillip's soul to enter Heaven.
Thank yo so much for your prayers
Awe Lidia...I am so sorry. I know he was very special to you. I had an attempt that left me in a coma...I survived somehow and have been thankful for life ever since. I also lost my person many years ago...she was murdered...and I have to admit, it has been many many years and I still hurt. But the hurt slowly turns into more and nore strength over time. I dont think there will ever be a time where where I have completely moved past it...part of me doesnt want to. I ended up in the same city she was killed and passing by the house she lived...I cannot go near there. It hurts too much. "If i only did a or b, she would still be here" "It is my fault for not savung her " "i miss her."
Also...a warning to those thinking about self harm...I have permanent brain damage from my attempt. Though I now value my life and want to live, I will forever deal with the effects of my failed attempt. I am now disabled and struggle a lot physically vs mentally. Things that cannot be fixed with therapy.
Thank yo so much @@AaronHendu for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage and straight to be able to show the reality the way it is for you. Thanks fro keeping it real with all of us in the comments
I am sure that losing her was hard and still is. A sudden death is painful and it's almost imposible to heal complete and more when certain dates come around the calendar, like birthdays, holidays etc.
So sorry for your loss. May your heart recover from this devastating event.
Thank you ❤🩹
Girl!!!
I've been following you guys since the beginning. Epic videos always.
I'm so so sorry for your loss 😢
It bought tears to my eyes..
I've lost 6 family and friends in the past few years and it's changed me..
I feel you and I hope that you will be ok. They say time is a healer and in a way it is but you never forget and that's ok 🙏🏽 Be strong. Try not to look back to often because the past is gone and u cannot change it, just look at the now and the future and be good to yourself 🙏🏽
Much loVe ❤️
Thanks a lot, I know losing people that you love it changes you, I am sorry that you also have experience so many loses lately
@@LidiaRico 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽
Your pain is unimaginable. You've shown strength and come out through it all. Look forward to the future. RIP Philip.
Sorry for you lose. Very happy you have made it through this. You can always come and join us in our Humble Little Jungle, if you need friends and or support.
I am still recovering and it will never be the same after this. I have a long journey of healing ahead. Thanks
So sorry to hear this tragic news.
I'm so sorry for your pain.
Sending you so much love.❤
Thank you Valery ❤️🩹
May the blessing be.
I saw Phillip in our Encinitas line ups surfing and spoke with him a few times. If I were to pick up on some things you said here, I agree completely with you about don't push away the people who love you, eat healthy and don't party. Those choices can make a huge difference in your path, opening up to the sober, healthy potential of new horizons is the road out for many.
I'm so sorry Lidia,I have been thinking about you and wondering what happened and if u r ok,I had no idea this had happened,I have been a long time follower of you and Phillip and this is truly devastating,you stay strong and keep your head up and know that u couldn't have changed this outcome,and it makes me wonder now looking back if he knew this was gonna be the outcome and maybe this is the reason he pushed you away,I think he was trying to protect you from this pain,you have a truly beautiful soul and better days will come for you,love you girl,reach out if u need help as well,so so sorry for your loss.❤
Thank you so much for being here, yes I know you're a big supporter since almost day one. I have a similar idea, he was going through something before we separated. He never got to tell me or to express what those voices were saying in his head. I saw destruction, pain and substance abuse. I tried to help but kept pushing me away, it broke my heart.
I am so sorry for your loss Lidia. Your message will help others thank you. You are an angel.
Thank you so much, I am not sure if I am an Ange but I know that god wanted me to share awareness about this hurtful situation. Too many people believe that suicide is the way out... but it hurt way too many people in the process. Our lives will never be the same
You came up in my recommendations today...and although this is the first time seeing your channel I can see how much you loved your Phillip. I am so very sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I'm going to join your patrion as soon as I can to support you and to hear more of your intriguing story. I pray God wraps his comforting arms around you sweet friend.
Trauma is real. I want to say to you that you should'nt blame yourself. Fillip made that choice thinking he was protecting you. I currently am recovering from work related PTSD where my previous boss tortured me on a daily basis once he found out I had a doctorates degree. The constant trauma went on from 2006 to 2012 when he left employment. It creeps up on you. Mine was so bad, if you came to visit me I struggled to remember. I couldn't remember my past, childhood, and struggled to do simple tasks. The only reason I didn't follow through and take my life is because I was helping a young man earn his high school diploma at age 35 so he can get steady work. It was enough time for those thoughts to wash themselves away.
I love you for your honesty. Just know it wasn't because of you. Something happened in his life that he didn't get help for and it just grew the more he experienced trauma or things that reminded him of that trauma; you never know when it will trigger you; and when it does; it takes weeks to leave your thoughts; it plays in a continuous loop forcing you to live it over and over in your head.
I’m sorry that happened to you but I know Jesus can heal your trauma and give you TRUE peace😌 It doesn’t matter how many years it has been and all the option you have tried to recover from what’s happened to you, Jesus is the only way to FULLY RECOVER and heal all your pain. I’ve heard many testimonies of people who have been sexually assaulted, abused, alcoholics, drug addicts, etc. who have been delivered by the blood of Jesus and set free from this trauma and these addictions. I was also very suicidal and no one could help me until I found Jesus personally at a funeral of a little girl whose uncle had PTSD from war and he killed her. What happened was so sad but I came to Christ at that funeral service at church. God works in mysterious ways. I was not going to church for years but this funeral is where God truly intervened in my life and showed me just how real He is.. I hope God does the same for you because He truly loves you, but remember the only way to have Jesus intervene in your life is if you yourself personally ask Him to come help you and save you. The pain/baggage you have been carrying for a long time was never meant for you to carry. Bring your burdens to the cross and allow Jesus to heal you completely. Yes it’s possible😃 Why? Because God is the God of the impossible🥹✝️ I’m speaking from experience and their are thousands of testimonies similar to mine. Just look up “ @deliverance down under “ testimonies on RUclips. Look up Isaiah Salvador who is now a preacher after years of drinking and partying. There are SO many testimonies of how God changed peoples lives and turned their struggle / dark situation around. Your story humbles you and makes you a more understanding person. Now you can help others that are struggling in a similar way as you were & still are. That’s the reason God allows bad things to happen to us. To help us help others and become selfless. Without the bad experiences, we would not be who we are today. Jesus heals⛪ Please accept His help in your life. He will never leave you or forsake you. If you want to hear God speaking to you, read the Bible and you will hear His voice speaking to you about your personal situations. Seriously, try it. God loves you and cares about you. But God helps those who ask Him for help. God always gives us a choice. Choose Jesus= choose healing.
Sorry for you loss Lidia. You are greatly loved. Stay strong.
I am so very sorry for you. I am going through something similar to Philip now and watching your video gives me strength to get better and not leave, so thank you.
Stay strong!
Please know that the pain you eave behind will never heal. All his family and me included will never be the same, it is an undescritable trauma and grief. Please eat healthy, spend time outside, do not use drugs or alcohol, try to journal or meditate, watch podcast about how to heal and if nothing works please try to ge into therapy or some support groups. Never commit suicide thats not a solution
I am so sorry to hear what has happened to Philip I have been following you guys from the beginning continue to stay strong love you always
I'm so sorry - life can throw some hard things our way. The way out is through - Grace is the power that lets you know that you are not alone.
thank you.
So sorry to hear this news Lidia. I know it hurts like hell to lose someone like this. I have lost good friends to suicide, and it is really hard to deal with. Time does heal. You will never forget that person, but things will get easier as time goes on. Cherish the memories, stay strong, stay positive, stay being a good person, stay cool, and keep living your life. Things will get easier in the coming months. You can't let this keep you down.
I am so sorry, Lidia. I recall meeting the two of you. So hard to go through. Lots of love to you and both families ❤
I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you ❤
Linda so sorry to hear about Philip, I loved watching your build videos and then your continued videos after your split they were always uplifting. You are a beautiful light and you will return to that again once the grieving process has run it's course. As you said you constantly have to search for the light daily and sometimes hourly. I to have struggled with depression and now severe PTSD but am so thankful for my God based faith that through his guidance I can do all things while he strengthens me. Have missed your videos so much and when you are ready to resume them will continue to watch and support your every step. I'm new again to the nomadic lifestyle in my mini bus and I have to find ways to stay positive and shedding positive on others helps.
You are a Beautiful person that has been perfectly designed by the maker and he is constantly there to help you through. Sending vibes of Blessings to you for your continued journey dear.
I lost my son in2018 and I am heart broken for you. It takes time but you will start to get past this unreal pain. It just changes but it will always be there. Like you said take care of yourself and sure d yourself with good people that are heading in the same positive direction you want to go.
Thank you for sharing, Lidia. Our 💕 are with you!
Thank you ❤
Hello Lidia, Im In Florida and I have been thru this a few years ago. My best bud gave up and it does hurt. I changed my own life and talk to my support system..Hang in there surfer girl...
❤🩹
Sincere condolences...and praying for continued strength 😔🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Suicide is probably the hardest loss to deal with. I’m sorry that you have to endure the pain that comes with your loss. You’re in my thoughts
Yes, certainly is the worse death and grief to process...
God can heal a broken heart.
But you need to give Him all the pieces.
Trust in the Lord
Thank you ❤ I’m still looking for all the pieces but little by little he will have all of them
My beautiful sister, I saw this video. How are you doing now. Praying for you that the lord will comfort you. Give all your pain to our father. Healing is yours. Be strong.. You will find a new strength beyond what you ever experienced.. We love you. ❤
I wish I could give you a big hug. My heart hurts for you. I’ve dealt with mental illness my whole life 58 years and struggle with my own losses everyday. I was more concerned about you than Philip. I’m so sorry to hear this, I had grown to like Philip a lot over the years. Please be good to yourself.😢
Pleas take care of yourself Mark
Young Lady, my heart goes out to you... I'm so sorry you had to experience a double heartbreak like that. Even though some have had similar heartbreaks, no one knows exactly the pain we feel because we all feel in different ways. I can assure you, the deeper you love the more the heart breaks ... I can see and feel you loved him deeply, in a way most dream of being loved. Not being loved back like that is heartbreak...
You are in my thoughts and prayers Young Lady....
Thank you for taking the time to share. Please know by you talking, by you sharing, you may have just saved a life.
Please know you make a difference.
I am a suicide survivor. a stranger, helped me find my way back to life However, I still fight depression. People like you are angels!
So please know there are people that you truly help.You make a difference!
I just wanted to say, thank you!
Thank you for your truth and honesty.
Also, I am so sorry for your pain. I am so sorry for the hell that you’re going through. I’m sending you tons of love.
God bless, and thank you for taking the time to fight for those who might not be able to fight for themselves.
Adam
I don’t know what to say Lidia. That’s a tremendous blow and your world has been shaken. It takes time to recollect and rebuild in finding who we are after a big loss like this. Much love and light to you 💕
Thank you, it will definitely take me time an the pain will be always here. Hopefully this message helps someone going through something similar. Life is worth living.
I am so sorry for your loss. I want you to know that you did a beautiful job expressing everything in this video. I am hopeful that your message will perhaps save someone’s life. I am proud of you.
Thank you, I finally found the strength of sharing this online. We must not listen to evil voices in our head, the world is a better place with us in it.
Lidia, I've been following since your trips through Baja and cruising the west coast. Your heart is there and will come back. Your soul has always been golden and bright which is why so many people connect to you. Take the time you need and find the love in your life again, it will come! Sorry to see the pain you're going through but embracing your feelings will bring you through!
Let us start as we mean to go on. I hear your words but more I can hear your heart along with your sole. I too have lost and given some time we grow to live without but still remember. We remember our times of pure joy and happiness. The sad times we have are what gives the happy times more joy I think in remembering. I think you feel and look an amazingly a beautiful person inside and outside too. The courage to go on is the most we can do even given the pain we feel inside. It does hurt and soon it will fade a bit and we then can deal with it better. You are not alone. God bless you.