I have a bad habit of not wording correctly what I am thinking when speaking. I feel when someone is reflective listening I can correct what I have vocalized wrong from their input.
You mean once you hear them reflect it back, that helps you find the right words? I've felt the same way at times. I'm searching for words as I speak but then they help me clarify and correct what I meant. Thanks for sharing.
These methods can make it seem like you're listening, which I suppose is the goal, but this is not real listening, in fact it's far removed from the listening techniques that are used at an advanced level. I can contrast this by supplying just one of several points I teach. The goal of listening is to nail down, unequivocally, what the speaker is saying, but more importantly WHY they are saying it and what PROCESS they used to come by the assertion they're making. This accomplishes multiple goals: 1 - The speaker is validated and knows their position is understood 2 - The speaker cannot gaslight you or reframe their communications to mean something other than what is stated. Statements like, you heard that wrong, I didn't mean that, no I meant this, or you are taking that the wrong way cannot be retreated to, because you have made the purpose, design, and intent of their communication clear. 3 - By showing consideration for the way they 'showed their work' to reach their conclusion, you have created the opportunity for real dialogue or disagreement, and invited them to mirror their behavior. There are MANY other points to advanced listening techniques, including body positioning and posture, microexpressions, and vocal tonality/pitch, but just that one point should show that these basic listening techniques that have been taught since the 90s are fundamentally lacking.
All good points. Keep in mind that this is a 60-second video. It is not intended to present advanced techniques. It's just comparing and contrasting two definitions. In that way, it is very much for total beginners.
I find that active listening has never really helped me but reflective listening has. Maybe it is because I see active listening as more the default. I do see a huge shift happening in people when I reflect back what I hear
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Never heard of this kind of listening. Thank you.
I like your video! I’m trying my best to listen people, but I’m little bit struggle to listen: thank you for helping me.
Thank you 😊
Hey Alex, if you could offer one critical piece of advice for someone with approach anxiety, what would it be?
I have a bad habit of not wording correctly what I am thinking when speaking. I feel when someone is reflective listening I can correct what I have vocalized wrong from their input.
You mean once you hear them reflect it back, that helps you find the right words? I've felt the same way at times. I'm searching for words as I speak but then they help me clarify and correct what I meant. Thanks for sharing.
@@alexanderlyon Yes, exactly.
@@alexanderlyonnice example of relective listening :)
These methods can make it seem like you're listening, which I suppose is the goal, but this is not real listening, in fact it's far removed from the listening techniques that are used at an advanced level.
I can contrast this by supplying just one of several points I teach.
The goal of listening is to nail down, unequivocally, what the speaker is saying, but more importantly WHY they are saying it and what PROCESS they used to come by the assertion they're making.
This accomplishes multiple goals:
1 - The speaker is validated and knows their position is understood
2 - The speaker cannot gaslight you or reframe their communications to mean something other than what is stated. Statements like, you heard that wrong, I didn't mean that, no I meant this, or you are taking that the wrong way cannot be retreated to, because you have made the purpose, design, and intent of their communication clear.
3 - By showing consideration for the way they 'showed their work' to reach their conclusion, you have created the opportunity for real dialogue or disagreement, and invited them to mirror their behavior.
There are MANY other points to advanced listening techniques, including body positioning and posture, microexpressions, and vocal tonality/pitch, but just that one point should show that these basic listening techniques that have been taught since the 90s are fundamentally lacking.
All good points. Keep in mind that this is a 60-second video. It is not intended to present advanced techniques. It's just comparing and contrasting two definitions. In that way, it is very much for total beginners.
I find that active listening has never really helped me but reflective listening has. Maybe it is because I see active listening as more the default. I do see a huge shift happening in people when I reflect back what I hear