Julie, my mother passed away at home in March. Because of your videos, i was with her right at the end, holding her hand, neither of us afraid of what was happening. Without your help, i would have missed it as wee were just sitting down to eat, but spotted the agonal breathing on the camera, and hurried in to be with her. Because of you, I wasn't worried when she stopped eating and drinking, didn't try to force anything. Because of you, I saw all the stages happening - the rally, the reaching, the chatting to someone i couldn't see, the expression of pain that enabled me to push for a driver. It was totally calm and quite beautiful, and I'm so grateful to you for your clear explanations of what happens as we near death. I knew when to be there, only because of you. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, and i know my mother would too. Thank you, sweetheart ❤. Xxxxxx
Hello everyone, im just a cleaner but a cleaner in an instiution where people with the end stage of dementia are living. I have seen some heavy stuff and i have conversations with some people everyday. I like it a lot. It makes me feel good to help them with a cleaner living room for example. In the last 9 weeks ive seen 5 people die.....but still i feel good to have helped❤
You're much more than a cleaner to these residents! God is strategic where he places some people and you have much more purpose than you realize. Some people don't have anyone at the end of their life and you're there for a reason. ❤
You'll probably never know what a positive impact you've made on tens-of-thousands of lives with the information you put out for those of us that are not part of the medical community. Information is not only power, but it is calming and encouraging. Thank you, Nurse Julie!
I wish I would have known this 14 years ago. My fathered suffered from emphysema for many years. The last year of his life, he caught an infection and went to the hospital. He was well treated, but ended up getting C. Difficil. What an awful bacteria to catch for an immunosuppressed senior. They were trying to treat him in isolation, but it didn't seem to be working. His kidneys were shutting down. The medical staff never told anything of his progress or decline. One day on one of my visits, I saw that the nurses had placed restraints on his wrists. He was very agitated and calling for his mom. I tried to console him, but I think he didn't know who I was. I went to the nursing station for help. They called the doctor to come. I told the doctor to please medicate him as the agitation was unbearable. The doctor agreed. He soon was relaxing anf then i left. He had a catheter, but there was no longer urine production. The next morning I returned to the hospital. When I opened his door, I found that my father had passed away. It was so sad and devastating. At least he no longer had the restraints and had a look of peace on his face. I will never forget that moment. Very agitating for family members too.
@@rencechannel2240 I didn't do well for awhile!! I ended up on anxiety and depression medication!! I got my kids into a couple of activities. I had to get involved with more things! My Mom was everything to me. I still love and miss her with all my heart! I know her suffering is over and she is with my Dad. I thought I was ready for God to take her but I was still selfish and wanted her here. It takes time. My Dad passed suddenly in 1980 and my Mom in 1990. My Dad was Mom's everything. Her words. I had to accept it!!
Why did the nurses/ward staff not get his medication sorted so that he wasn’t so restless that he had to be restrained like a criminal, that seems like poor care
Julie, thank you for educating people on what to expect. My next door neighbor was 45 years old and on hospice. I stayed with her because she had an 8 year old boy. She was stable, not expected to die right away. (Not cancer). One morning at 5:30 am I discovered she passed peacefully in her sleep. I was the one who had to break the news to her son that his mom was gone. Thats the part that hurt the worst.
Thank you for this. My dad went through terminal agitation at the end of his life. I must've called an ambuIance 10 times because he fell and I couldn't get him up. He would not stay in his bed or his chair. I never had a name for what he went through. I have felt so guilty for the last year and a half for giving him the morphine that hospice gave me to settle him. THANK YOU for finally giving me peace and understanding about the last couple of weeks of his life.
My daughter #2 passed last Wednesday morning. Your videos have helped me and her enormously these last few months. Thank you very much for giving me tools to deal with it all ❤
when my wife was near the end, she had light brown substance come out her nose. when i came back with cue tips her hand was as cold as ice. the nurse said that she was probably up on the ceiling by then. i often wondered if we leave our bodies before the end? i'm getting close. thanks for your caring and helpful info. your a fine broth of a girl.
I think we do. I really felt that my mother’s spirit left her body before her body gave up. Her presence had changed significantly. Her heart was strong and kept going.
We are nonphysical spirits. The body is literally just a vessel, like a costume for a role whilst physical on earth. As spirits we are all much more profound than one can possibly imagine. Soon you might know.
Yes....we leave our bodies before the physical body stops!!!!! Dont fear, sweetheart... God makes sure none of us suffer even if the physical body seems to struggle! Much love!
I remember watching a NDE story of a little boy who was hit by a car. And they had asked him did he feel any pain when the car had hit him. And he replied, no I did not because God took my soul before I was hit. I always thought that was an amazing answer to hear. Just like when we’re born, we don’t know, and I’ve always thought when we die we don’t know we just transition. God bless everyone.💜🙏🏽
these videos are SO important for everyone to watch. So many times, I have seen patients die in agony because the family thinks we 'dope' their loved ones. Or they want their family member to be 'coherent' close to the end. They are not coherent because they are in agony. It is enough to break your heart to see this happen. Also when families have a family member who is of advanced age who refuse to change their code status. So you want us to preform chest compressions on your 90 lb, 90 year old mom who is bedbound, has dementia with agitation? I just hope I am not working when she passes, I really don't want to be the one breaking her poor ribs trying to bring her back. :(
You can come in and drug me up til i die. Id rather die comfortable than in pain. To blame Hospice or medication is ridiculous when someone is that close to passing.
My mother died at home on hospice and died peacefully but hospice were awful and slow in helping with her intractable vomiting in her final weeks. They would put her on a subcutaneous haldol infusion when she was an inpatient, then take her off when she went home. She could not absorb meds orally. I had to beg beg beg for subcutaneous pump at home - we knew it worked. Begging worked but she suffered a lot in that interval. Totally unnecessarily. That has really scarred me.
Hospice nurses are wonderful. That said, I'm old and have had quite a few hospice in my home. Years ago they gave you an aide 24/7 and visiting nurses. My husband died recently and the aide was once a week for a bath. I had done that for years. The nurse gave him an enema and left!!! He hemorrhage blood and feces and I was alone. Such a horrible memory. Never again.
Thank you Julie. Your videos are just what society needs to understand EOL and since we all live and die, it's merely a question of how and when. But people in the past would NEVER talk about death, they won't even say the words "die, death, dying or dead", they say "s/he passed" or what we in the medical field say, "s/he;s GONE." No one in their right mind wishes to die but we all do in time. If there is a better, easier, mentally healthier way to approach death, it is sorely needed! I have so much respect for hospice now and your videos have helped people immensely about knowing how to approach and deal with something that we ALL face in time, that's the fact that we all will eventually die! You present your videos with a sensible yet very eloquent and honest information from the medical aspect, that is so needed and for that we truly thank you!
I commenced palliative care of my mom a few years ago. I don't live in the US and our 'hospice' care system doesn't prepare you at all. I asked but got no guidance. Mom bounced back and has been stable for a couple of years now and is off 'hospice' care. I am managing on my own. Your RUclips channel has been really educational and is exactly what I need - information about what to do and what to expect at end of life. Thank you.
As illness and deterioration take hold of our aging bodies...we automatically suffer pain. Sometimes it's chronic; sometimes we have reprieves. Living with constant pain now...I am so happy I was active throughout my healthy life...I am also prepared for the hereafter now..and part of that acceptance is because I know the pain will be gone.
I would not want to be awake through it all...just put me to sleep & let me go. I would not want to suffer, it's wrong anyone should have to suffer until the end😢
I admire you so much! And I love what you do to educate, demystify, and normalize what happens at the end of our lives! It can be pretty messy at the beginning of life too, when we are born. Thank you for reminding us that what happens when we die is also very normal.
It’s taking me a while to get over the fact that my sister was given so much medication at the end. She was only in hospice for five days. The last 48 hours she was completely unconscious. I felt like they. gave her too much medication and knocked her out. Looking back with a more clear head now I realize they had to, but it’s still hard.
Same thing happened to my husband, he went into the ambulance and he was knocked out when I met him in hospice 20 minutes later. They wanted to "settle" him and he....just got knocked out.
Man, you are full of really good medical info that ppl just need to hear. Your advice really helped me as my father was entering his final days. Thank you so much.
Thanks Julie In the last two years my two sisters passed from colon cancer, and my mom from Parkinson’s. I so wish my sisters and I could have seen this before they passed. They both struggled and would not engage Hospice. It was so difficult to watch. My mom was a bit better, but still difficult. You are truly helping others. Peace!
@hospicenursejulie ......I had a Hospice nurse tell me (I worked for a DR) one day that a lot of patients need to be told it's OK to die........when my Mother was hanging on (at 101 yrs old) I spoke with a Hospice Minister and asked him to give my mother permission to die........he said okay, I'll call you back later.......about 10 minutes (at the most) went by and the phone rang and it was the Minister.......he said.....She's gone...and it was such a wonderful feeling that she was finally on her way.......and so quickly.......as soon as he told her it's okay to die (move on) she did.....This was/is, hands down, the best advice I've ever had.....
Nurse Julie, if a patient is termina and has weeks to live and has horrific nerve pain, why wouldn't hospice administer IV morphine and forget the Gabapentin? Wouldn't IV morphine control the pain faster? Decades ago when the medical field as a whole was not adequately treating pain, I had a relative that was in hospice and the staff would not give him anything stonger than hydrocodone hydrochloride per his doctor's orders. He desperately wanted to commit suicide as his pain was unbearable. His doctor said anything stronger was addictive. I was stunned as the man was dying. Why would a doctor care about a terminal patient becoming addicted to pain medication at that point? He had pancreatic cancer by the way.
Hospice MDs have gotten better addressing this attitude. If this should occur the best recourse is point blank ask the MD how long does the physician think the patient has to live. Take that info and proceed with the following conversation-let me understand this better the patient is in hospice care, you state they most likely have x time to live why do you have concerns about addiction when the patient is terminal. They will not live to have any concerns regarding withdrawal & recovery. If you get nowhere with this convo demand an ombudsman.
Hope they don’t give Gapapine,try it for nerve pain and made me so sick. It is cruel not to give dying patients in pain Morphine. I will be in a mercy in hospice care of the nurse and not all that caring like you Scary
that's ridiculous isn't it! My Father was an MD and he had much suffering near the end of his life and he stopped eating and drinking and knew he'd soon be dead - I can remember when he said he didn't want Fentanyl patch because he'd become addicted - I just thought wow, he's not thinking clearly now....
My father passed away last night from cancer. I stayed with him until the end, even though death has been my biggest fear in life. I faced it for the first time when I watched my dad take his last breath😢 Love you Dad ❤
I'll pray for your father. Dunno why this comment amongst others made me answer and say a prayer. Maybe because I lost my dad 5 years ago. I wasn't with him at his last weeks, we were in long lasting quarrel. He had cancer too. We didnt make peace. If you're okay with prayers, please, pray for my father as well.
@Redium_rd You're most very welcome. We were very much a dysfunctional family, but I was able to make peace in the final months before my father's passing. And also to talk with my daughter, who I was estranged. Bless you and your father and all other fathers who have passed out there ❤️
@@jenniferharper3896 thank you. Your answer brought me peace and calmness. It's very rare to me sharing my awful story, especially with stranger, especially at comment section. But this small interaction made me feel much better. You're very kind person. Praying for you and your father.
@Redium_rd You take care of yourself as I must try too as well. It's 3.22 am here, and I'm far from home with my emotions riding a roller coaster. Sweet dreams 😴 x
Love your content NJ, & I've heard you speak about the death experience as often dying the way you live. But as someone with C-PTSD who's also worked on myself for decades, including meditation, I still have anxiety that affects my progressive Neuro condition and pain, leading to something that sounds similar to Terminal Agitation. This scares me because as hard as I've worked on forgiveness, empathy, etc, it feels like even in the end I won't overcome something that was never my fault to begin with (child abuse). Been wondering about this for years now here. 🙏🕊️
Do you have any advice on how to deal with nurses that are extremely conservative with morphine? I watched a family member needlessly suffer immensely because of this. She was acting like she was treating a normal patient (as opposed to someone that was passing). I felt so helpless and like I failed them. Now I'm scared for other loved ones and myself.
This is sad & I think this happens more than it should. I’m so sorry u had to go thru that. I read Studies that said cancer patients who’re dying are often under medicated for pain, which’s sad. No one should have to suffer like that. If a person’s dying, terminally ill, etc.. they should be comfortable !! Pain meds shouldn’t be an issue ❤️🩹
As you mentioned there are times when the nurses are not around where the family is trying to figure out what to do when your loved one is stressed out in the middle of the night. We had the situation where my husband was very agitated and wanted to get up evey half hour. He was on oxygen and kept wanting to take off his canola, he had end stage copd so he needed to be on oxygen. It was exhausting! People, please do not be concerned to call the triage nurse in the middle of the night...that's why they are there! I wish we would have been more aggressive with his medications during that time. Thank you for what you do Julie! I started watching you well before I went thru hospice 6 weeks ago with my beloved husband ❤
Just found your channel, and I am finding your videos really helpful. I have 79-year-old mother who is in good health for her age. I agree with you that education is power. I lost my father to terminal cancer 9 years ago, and we were blindsided by what happened to him and how it affected us as a family. I was also going through post cancert care with my mother at the time. Thank you for this channel.
My father was given morphine until the end. It was a blessing as his mind was still sharp but his body, especially his kidneys were shutting down. Thank you for your videos.
God bless you Julie. I've always thought that Hospice way of dying was bad. But I so want Hospice before I die. Currently I have mild dementia and am visually impaired due to it. Im not scared of dumying, just the process of it.
Just want to remind you about the most most important decision we need to make before we die, and that is to receive Jesus as our Lord and Savior. I just wanted to let you know a little about what the bible says. It takes more than just believing in God. John 3:3 says, we must be Born Again to get to heaven before our time is up.. Everyone has sinned and fallen short of God's glorious standard, and all need to be made right with God by his grace, which is a free gift. We need to be made free from sin through Jesus Christ. Bible also says, its not by works should any one boast. So being a good person does not get you to heaven either. The only way to heaven is by repenting of your sins, which means a change of mind, and putting your faith and trust in Jesus. Romans 10:13 says, Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. So you see, there is a need for salvation to get to heaven. That is why Jesus died on the cross. He took all of our sins upon him, so that if you accept Him as your Lord and Savior, you can have eternal life in paradise. You do not get there being a good person, or doing good deeds. Many people believe that is all it takes. Jesus also says, that I am the way, the Truth, and the Life, no one comes unto the father, except through me. So please make that decision, so that you can have peace and comfort before your time is up. Its the most important decision of your life. You can then have that peace and assurance of salvation in your heart. All you have to do is humble your heart and pray with faith,... "I repent of my sins, and I turn to You. You said in Your word that if we confess with our mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in our hearts that God raised Him from the dead, we shall be saved. I ask You Jesus to forgive me of all my sins, come into my heart, and take control of my life. From this day forward I want to live for you. ..... It's not about the words, it's about your heart. The Lord will then send His Holy Spirit to live on the inside of you. The Holy Spirit is Gods seal of salvation, and your evidence you have been Born Again. He will transform your heart and mind. He will bring you into a personal relationship with Jesus. You will become a new person inside. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new”. Its truly amazing! You will be filled with peace, love, and joy from the Lord inside you. All the fruits of the Holy Spirit. He will comfort you in your time of need, and give you the strength to endure. No matter what you are going through, Jesus wants to help you through it. You can lean on Him. Its the most important decision of anyone's life. God's Word says that we are saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus and not by our own efforts or works (Ephesians 2:8-9). Grace Alone. Jesus is the only way to heaven. Please believe me, its all in the bible. Its the Word of God. I am not judging or condemning anyone, just letting you know there is much more if you put your trust in Him. Jesus cares for you, and wants a personal relationship with you. Please don't wait. Today is the day of salvation. Come to Him now, and give yourself freely to Him. He loves you and will save you! I'm praying for you. Please ask Jesus to come into your life today, my friend, You are special to Jesus. Romans 10:9-10. "If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. Be blessed
This is sadly true... my husbabd 46 passed monday of agressive colon cancer. Your videos thru his 3 yr fight helped me cope. But i wont lie. The end was hard... esp how harsh his rattle became. He sounded as if drownding. Crisis care came in to adjust him to comfort. He passed 10 hours later😢
I'm so very sorry. I pray for a peaceful passing for your sister and hopefully much support for you during this difficult time. My mom passed 3 months ago. None of this is easy. ❤@@janedixon8491
You are so good. Thanks for all you do to help xx your videos have helped me through two deaths , both my in laws. Without you I couldn’t have been so prepared and have been able to help my husband so much xx
Hi ❤ one of your videos just came up (must be the U Tube algorithm) even though I haven’t been searching for videos such as these? So algorithm 🤷🏼♀️I don’t know what’s up with that. Anyways, I 🫶🏻 find you to be very intelligent, informative and kind. Thank you. I’m learning so much from you. My friend has short bowel, COPD and liver failure due to the TPN. He has been hanging in there for 2yrs now despite many hospital stays. He has a plan to go full on hospice when he decides to. He is a DNR. After the emergency short bowel surgery he was put on full TPN. The idea was that he would become stronger and be able to get a transplant but not happening. When on full TPN, he wouldn’t eat because food didn’t taste good and unfortunately the TPN is destroying his liver. The medical community has since put him on half TPN and now he eats real food and has his taste back. We eat many meals together and that is wonderful. That said, the majority of what he eats and drinks goes straight to the ileostomy bag therefore he’s not getting the proper nutrients because of absorption. This is the longest comment I have ever written on U Tube.
My father just passed on July 7th from stage 4 small cell lung cancer. His hospice nurses couldn't believe he wasn't suffering or in pain during his last 2 months..We are extremely grateful for that.
I wish I had known my mom was going to look so scary when she died. She was a past life therapist and very accepting of death and she was very calm but the look on her face when she died haunted me. I think I expected her to smile and drift off and that didn't happen.
@@kgr0527 No, she look like she saw something terrible. I think it was just the way her face ended up looking because right before she died she told me that my dad was there for her and she was really excited to go.
Just want to remind you about the most most important decision we need to make before we die, and that is to receive Jesus as our Lord and Savior. I just wanted to let you know a little about what the bible says. It takes more than just believing in God. John 3:3 says, we must be Born Again to get to heaven before our time is up.. Everyone has sinned and fallen short of God's glorious standard, and all need to be made right with God by his grace, which is a free gift. We need to be made free from sin through Jesus Christ. Bible also says, its not by works should any one boast. So being a good person does not get you to heaven either. The only way to heaven is by repenting of your sins, which means a change of mind, and putting your faith and trust in Jesus. Romans 10:13 says, Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. So you see, there is a need for salvation to get to heaven. That is why Jesus died on the cross. He took all of our sins upon him, so that if you accept Him as your Lord and Savior, you can have eternal life in paradise. You do not get there being a good person, or doing good deeds. Many people believe that is all it takes. Jesus also says, that I am the way, the Truth, and the Life, no one comes unto the father, except through me. So please make that decision, so that you can have peace and comfort before your time is up. Its the most important decision of your life. You can then have that peace and assurance of salvation in your heart. All you have to do is humble your heart and pray with faith,... "I repent of my sins, and I turn to You. You said in Your word that if we confess with our mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in our hearts that God raised Him from the dead, we shall be saved. I ask You Jesus to forgive me of all my sins, come into my heart, and take control of my life. From this day forward I want to live for you. ..... It's not about the words, it's about your heart. The Lord will then send His Holy Spirit to live on the inside of you. The Holy Spirit is Gods seal of salvation, and your evidence you have been Born Again. He will transform your heart and mind. He will bring you into a personal relationship with Jesus. You will become a new person inside. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new”. Its truly amazing! You will be filled with peace, love, and joy from the Lord inside you. All the fruits of the Holy Spirit. He will comfort you in your time of need, and give you the strength to endure. No matter what you are going through, Jesus wants to help you through it. You can lean on Him. Its the most important decision of anyone's life. God's Word says that we are saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus and not by our own efforts or works (Ephesians 2:8-9). Grace Alone. Jesus is the only way to heaven. Please believe me, its all in the bible. Its the Word of God. I am not judging or condemning anyone, just letting you know there is much more if you put your trust in Him. Jesus cares for you, and wants a personal relationship with you. Please don't wait. Today is the day of salvation. Come to Him now, and give yourself freely to Him. He loves you and will save you! I'm praying for you. Please ask Jesus to come into your life today, my friend, You are special to Jesus. Romans 10:9-10. "If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. Be blessed
Another thing you can do to make end of life less chaotic is to have a plan. What do you want/don’t want during the dying process and after? As a family ask for help and ask questions. Who do you want to help. Seek spiritual guidance and comfort. Like with a newborn, get sleep when you can. Finally, consider hiring a death doula to help guide you on this path.
Do you have a video explaining way people at the end of life may start swearing and are just nasty though they were never like this? Seen this a few times when my family members have passed and want to discuss this with my adult children in case this happens to me. New subscriber and you're great!
I have a living will & I’ve discussed everything in it w/ my family. Hopefully, 🤞 🙏 we won’t be going down that path for a long time. However, it’s good to go over it. So when my time comes. My family knows my final wishes ❤❤❤ PS: I love ❤️ your videos! So informative, thank you 😊 You’re an Angel 😇
I guess you have to deal with family members and patients that don't experience chronic pain conditions which can happen at the end of life. Everything you mentioned is second nature to me because that is how I have to manage my migraines. Sometimes I can't be instantly pain free and sometimes I have to sleep it off. Thank you for explaining it in detail.
I had a tooth abscess for 2 weeks (endo wanted to save the tooth so we did antibiotics, ibuprofen (swelling) & hydrocodone (which was useless) for pain). I don't even know how I shuttled dad back & forth to & from his chemo & radiation appointments during all of that, but it needed to be done & there was no one else, so it got done. Sometimes we just end up on autopilot & don't even remember getting through stuff like that.
Well so much for “nothing to fear”. I wish this was true. She died after a thirteen month, two week and two day tragic battle, psychologically, spiritually and emotionally shattered, exhausted and struggling with her breathing…. gurgling, clasping and frantic for something to help. Utterly destroyed by a broken body, the morning was 10/10 pain and the afternoon slipped by with sadness and terror in her eyes….and treated with casual indifference, from ‘health care providers’ who were just doing their job. They were matter of fact and not very engaged. She was just on their ‘rounds’ She only lost consciousness in the last hour as her body shuddered and gasped and slipped away. It was ugly, it was awful, it was torture and she didn’t want to die. She left behind young children, and a stricken husband. Within hours of her last terrible gasp…her room was emptied out of her and her possessions with the bed made up clean and fresh to ‘welcome’ the next patient.
This video is the same one as uploaded 3 weeks ago titled "What You Can Do When When Death Is Messy". Disappointing to see her reuploading the same videos as if it's something new.
Turns out my son was drug resistant and it took a lot to knock him out. He slept comfortably for the last few days of his life. Hospice & palliative workers are angels among us. I will be forever grateful to them.
My mom suffered with ALS for over two years. She could not eat, drink, or talk. It was absolutely horrific. I was with her when she died, but I was 8 months pregnant at the time and terrified out of my mind. It was all I could do to sit in the recliner near her and concentrate on my breathing as she passed. I feel so, so, SO ashamed and awful that I wasn't more supportive to her during her death. What can I do to make up for this? How do I get over the guilt? It's been over four years since she died and I'm just now starting to really think about everything. She was a wonderful person, a wonderful mother, and I miss her desperately. Any advice would be so helpful.
Their family members have to fight hard for them sometimes by reminding them that they are dying. It’s awful to let someone suffer. I would ask for a higher up.
@@ChrisMalloy-u3f That’s crazy though. If I’m dying and one of my last wishes is to move around I want to move around. Yet people will say I can’t cause I might die. B! I’m already dying! Let me have that one last thing!
I have read your book and passed it on to a friend. It would be helpful if you could produce a video with what I should put in an advanced directive to make my death more peaceful. So when do I ask for IV line to be removed? When do I ask for no food, hydration? How and when do I ask for no feeding tube?
Hi Julie - thank you so much for your videos. My Dad is in end of life care at a hospice in the UK and you have given me an understanding of what is really going on with him. I hope he passes soon - as heartless as that may sound - but he is lying in a bed and cant do anything and is very weak because he has been refusing food for a week now.He was an extremely intelligent and articulate man and it totally breaks my heart to see him like this.
Not all Hospice’s are equal. Alive Hospice provides Morphine pumps for home and inpatient units along with a BAD drip. Ask before you admit. I’m a Hospice nurse. Blessings
Hi, I have a disorder called Loeys-Dietz Syndrome. It causes aortic aneurysms and brain aneurysms. I'm a young person (31, but family members have died very young grandma at only 57). I want to know what it's going to be like, as a young person, to die from a disorder like mine. What am I going to feel? How long will it take?
Just want to remind you about the most most important decision we need to make before we die, and that is to receive Jesus as our Lord and Savior. I just wanted to let you know a little about what the bible says. It takes more than just believing in God. John 3:3 says, we must be Born Again to get to heaven before our time is up.. Everyone has sinned and fallen short of God's glorious standard, and all need to be made right with God by his grace, which is a free gift. We need to be made free from sin through Jesus Christ. Bible also says, its not by works should any one boast. So being a good person does not get you to heaven either. The only way to heaven is by repenting of your sins, which means a change of mind, and putting your faith and trust in Jesus. Romans 10:13 says, Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. So you see, there is a need for salvation to get to heaven. That is why Jesus died on the cross. He took all of our sins upon him, so that if you accept Him as your Lord and Savior, you can have eternal life in paradise. You do not get there being a good person, or doing good deeds. Many people believe that is all it takes. Jesus also says, that I am the way, the Truth, and the Life, no one comes unto the father, except through me. So please make that decision, so that you can have peace and comfort before your time is up. Its the most important decision of your life. You can then have that peace and assurance of salvation in your heart. All you have to do is humble your heart and pray with faith,... "I repent of my sins, and I turn to You. You said in Your word that if we confess with our mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in our hearts that God raised Him from the dead, we shall be saved. I ask You Jesus to forgive me of all my sins, come into my heart, and take control of my life. From this day forward I want to live for you. ..... It's not about the words, it's about your heart. The Lord will then send His Holy Spirit to live on the inside of you. The Holy Spirit is Gods seal of salvation, and your evidence you have been Born Again. He will transform your heart and mind. He will bring you into a personal relationship with Jesus. You will become a new person inside. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new”. Its truly amazing! You will be filled with peace, love, and joy from the Lord inside you. All the fruits of the Holy Spirit. He will comfort you in your time of need, and give you the strength to endure. No matter what you are going through, Jesus wants to help you through it. You can lean on Him. Its the most important decision of anyone's life. God's Word says that we are saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus and not by our own efforts or works (Ephesians 2:8-9). Grace Alone. Jesus is the only way to heaven. Please believe me, its all in the bible. Its the Word of God. I am not judging or condemning anyone, just letting you know there is much more if you put your trust in Him. Jesus cares for you, and wants a personal relationship with you. Please don't wait. Today is the day of salvation. Come to Him now, and give yourself freely to Him. He loves you and will save you! I'm praying for you. Please ask Jesus to come into your life today, my friend, You are special to Jesus. Romans 10:9-10. "If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. Be blessed
🔲Here are a few suggestions (⚠️not medical advice): ▪️ Call the medical insurance company using the phone number which is on the back of your insurance card.☎️ ▪️Hopefully you can explain simply, that you need to talk with your patient coordinator (they may use a different name). ▪️ At first simply state, I feel that I am ready for either Pallative care or Hospice. (These have similarities. ✳️ Nurse Julie has excellent videos if you like to understand the difference). ▪️Alternatively, you could call your physician office 👨🏽⚕️ and explain to person on phone even if it's an "appointment scheduler" that you believe that you may need palliative or hospice care. Obviously, tell them you need help. 🔲 I don't know your circumstances. There is one lesson that I learned the difficult way. Briefly - my partner, out of the blue mentioned on two very separate occasions that he thought he might die "this year". He had medical issues; however, the issues were being addressed; and I was his professional care giver (CNA) plus I cared for him all the other hours for which the agency didn't assign me. He was and still is "the Love of my Life"💕....... ......Crazy events occurred for both of us. I was with him to the end. He had all the care needed. Just personally, I wish that I sat and talked with him when he blurted out such unusual comments. I was so unwilling to think he was not going to be in my life. I told him no.....We have many more years ahead. ♥️ So I believe what you are saying. I don't have any idea what is occurring medically with you; however, you obviously think you need some extra care and if it's not Hospice.....it maybe Palliative care. Your medical team will make the correct assessment for you. ▪️▫️Hoping you find whatever help you need quickly. Sounds like you have managed your diease along time which is impressive. 👍 ▪️▫️ Love, Prays, Hugs and Peace with Comfort. 🪶💟☮️🕉️
I am troubled with putting the dying person having to deal with pain for hours while a doctor has to give permission for different meds or more meds, or hospice by 2024 hasn't become more efficient and timely to upgrade their procedures. If compassion is the reason to have this service, then a patient shouldn't have to be the only one enduring the pain while the rest of us go about our lives.
I WANT to be asleep until I die! I’ve suffered with chronic pain throughout my life and at the very least want my exit to be as pain-free as possible. Drugs, PLEASE!
It bothers me that you don't answer questions in the inbox because I had a terrible experience with my mom on Hospice and it torments me. I have PTSD and I have nightmares about my mom, I need some advice.... (?)
@@LilByrdFly2 I don’t think she can keep up with every message. Try to go to a local hospice for help, because they do offer help for after your loved one has passed on.
@@patrickflohe7427 I did try that bereavement counseling? The woman had no answers for me so I walked out and left and didn't return. Plus I have PTSD and I think she had no clue of how to deal with me at all, And she didn't want to say anything until upset me further. So no that was a bust I left
"Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) is a common lung disease causing restricted airflow and breathing problems. It is sometimes called emphysema or chronic bronchitis.16 Mar 2023" Very common to some tobacco smokers, including ex smokers. Also some industrial workers, poisoned by previous work environments. In my personal case, my throat of medically rubbish. Allergic to any food, medications, fluids, including my own saliva. COPD events any food, medical or fluid intake. Eventually a PEG will be needed, to bypass my belly behaving throat. Expectancy of life, on average, after this PEG operation, is about two years. In the meantime, my wife, my hospice staff, my medical and nursing staff, and the occasional ambulance staff, go crazy on panic mode, when my lungs fight to reject the foreign things trying to enter my trachea. With my severe Traumatic Brain Injury, for the last 40 years (car accident), my main job is try to reassure the previous crazies around me, to calm down. It is ok to die. Aged 74 now.. My life has been ok. Not perfect, but ok.
As someone who has lived a lifetime of severe pain, I find your comment about druggiing people up until they are asleep, and when they wake up you back the sedative off, offensive. Why try and maintain life when they are in that much pain? This theory that life is precious and sacred, is a fallicy to those in such horrendous pain. If I qualified for assisting dying, I would go for it, but I only just miss out on it. The people around me think I am mad, but if I could give them a virtual reality experience, they would change their minds really quickly. Then I get accussed of being selfish, and they need time to process. They expect me to live in pain and suffering, while they get their heads around it, is beyond humane. We dont let animals suffer like this, and people can be jailed for having animals in this state.
Do you have any stories of spontaneous healing, where someone who is near the end, unexpectedly gets whole and gets well, we are taking about a miracle, and the hand of God. 🙂🙏🙏🙏
@@visi7891Exactly, thank you! We are here to learn scientific facts, and help prepare ourselves and loved ones for the inevitable without fear and anxiety. Please take the godly miracles somewhere else, and leave us to process reality in peace.
My late mother was diagnosed over the phone by the Hospice doctor, nurse, and my long-retired LPN sister, with Diverticulitis. She was put on oral morphine, at home. She was in agony when awake. Well....she had also fallen before she started grabbing her left side (she had dementia and couldn't speak). Turned out she had broken all of the ribs on her left side when she fell. NO diverticulitis. She suffered for days, in and out of consciousness, until the morphine was increased and she died. I'm still angry. let's face it: morphine is euthanasia. With the elderly.
@@angeledwards3062 thank you. The dementia was awful, but she was misdiagnosed, put on antibiotics for something she didn’t have, morphine for pain that she couldn’t tell us the source of, and you know the rest of the story. It’s all over but the shoutin’ as they say down South. RIP Mama 😞
Nope! You've just sold me on M.A.I.D. (medical assistance in dying) Zero pain, zero suffering. However, the services Hospice provides are quite amazing. My personal vote would be to drug the crap out of me so I just don't FEEL anything, PLEASE! Twelve hrs of suffering until someone gets it right?? No thanx!
Julie, my mother passed away at home in March. Because of your videos, i was with her right at the end, holding her hand, neither of us afraid of what was happening. Without your help, i would have missed it as wee were just sitting down to eat, but spotted the agonal breathing on the camera, and hurried in to be with her. Because of you, I wasn't worried when she stopped eating and drinking, didn't try to force anything. Because of you, I saw all the stages happening - the rally, the reaching, the chatting to someone i couldn't see, the expression of pain that enabled me to push for a driver. It was totally calm and quite beautiful, and I'm so grateful to you for your clear explanations of what happens as we near death. I knew when to be there, only because of you. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, and i know my mother would too. Thank you, sweetheart ❤. Xxxxxx
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That's beautiful and I'm sorry for your loss
@@susieturk1 thank you❤️x
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Sending you a huge hug! 💕💕💕
Hello everyone, im just a cleaner but a cleaner in an instiution where people with the end stage of dementia are living. I have seen some heavy stuff and i have conversations with some people everyday. I like it a lot. It makes me feel good to help them with a cleaner living room for example. In the last 9 weeks ive seen 5 people die.....but still i feel good to have helped❤
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You’re not ‘just’ a cleaner, you’re so important, your job is so vital!
You are so important.
You're much more than a cleaner to these residents! God is strategic where he places some people and you have much more purpose than you realize. Some people don't have anyone at the end of their life and you're there for a reason. ❤
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You'll probably never know what a positive impact you've made on tens-of-thousands of lives with the information you put out for those of us that are not part of the medical community. Information is not only power, but it is calming and encouraging. Thank you, Nurse Julie!
Julie you definitely helped so many to learn and understand. Thank you angel
I wish I would have known this 14 years ago. My fathered suffered from emphysema for many years. The last year of his life, he caught an infection and went to the hospital. He was well treated, but ended up getting C. Difficil. What an awful bacteria to catch for an immunosuppressed senior. They were trying to treat him in isolation, but it didn't seem to be working. His kidneys were shutting down. The medical staff never told anything of his progress or decline. One day on one of my visits, I saw that the nurses had placed restraints on his wrists. He was very agitated and calling for his mom. I tried to console him, but I think he didn't know who I was. I went to the nursing station for help. They called the doctor to come. I told the doctor to please medicate him as the agitation was unbearable. The doctor agreed. He soon was relaxing anf then i left. He had a catheter, but there was no longer urine production. The next morning I returned to the hospital. When I opened his door, I found that my father had passed away. It was so sad and devastating. At least he no longer had the restraints and had a look of peace on his face. I will never forget that moment. Very agitating for family members too.
I'm so sorry your father had such agitation at the end of his life. Thank you for sharing your story; it helps others.
I'm so sorry for what you have to witness. My Mom passed from the same thing.
@@carolpauleyrogers3902 Hi, may I know how do you cope up with mourning?
@@rencechannel2240 I didn't do well for awhile!! I ended up on anxiety and depression medication!! I got my kids into a couple of activities. I had to get involved with more things! My Mom was everything to me. I still love and miss her with all my heart! I know her suffering is over and she is with my Dad. I thought I was ready for God to take her but I was still selfish and wanted her here. It takes time. My Dad passed suddenly in 1980 and my Mom in 1990. My Dad was Mom's everything. Her words. I had to accept it!!
Why did the nurses/ward staff not get his medication sorted so that he wasn’t so restless that he had to be restrained like a criminal, that seems like poor care
Julie, thank you for educating people on what to expect. My next door neighbor was 45 years old and on hospice. I stayed with her because she had an 8 year old boy. She was stable, not expected to die right away. (Not cancer). One morning at 5:30 am I discovered she passed peacefully in her sleep. I was the one who had to break the news to her son that his mom was gone. Thats the part that hurt the worst.
I am glad you were there for him, even though it was painful for you both. Thank you for caring.
Thank you for this. My dad went through terminal agitation at the end of his life. I must've called an ambuIance 10 times because he fell and I couldn't get him up. He would not stay in his bed or his chair. I never had a name for what he went through. I have felt so guilty for the last year and a half for giving him the morphine that hospice gave me to settle him. THANK YOU for finally giving me peace and understanding about the last couple of weeks of his life.
Why would you feel guilty for giving him morphine?
My daughter #2 passed last Wednesday morning. Your videos have helped me and her enormously these last few months. Thank you very much for giving me tools to deal with it all ❤
I personally would rather be terminally sedated than agitated, confused, or in pain. Thank you for always educating us, Nurse Julie!
My mom passed away on 30.6.2024. I watched your videos a lot and it helped me take care of her during her last moments. Thanks a lot.
when my wife was near the end, she had light brown substance come out her nose. when i came back with cue tips her hand was as cold as ice. the nurse said that she was probably up on the ceiling by then.
i often wondered if we leave our bodies before the end? i'm getting close. thanks for your caring and helpful info. your a fine broth of a girl.
I think we do. I really felt that my mother’s spirit left her body before her body gave up. Her presence had changed significantly. Her heart was strong and kept going.
We are nonphysical spirits. The body is literally just a vessel, like a costume for a role whilst physical on earth. As spirits we are all much more profound than one can possibly imagine. Soon you might know.
Yes....we leave our bodies before the physical body stops!!!!! Dont fear, sweetheart... God makes sure none of us suffer even if the physical body seems to struggle! Much love!
I remember watching a NDE story of a little boy who was hit by a car. And they had asked him did he feel any pain when the car had hit him. And he replied, no I did not because God took my soul before I was hit. I always thought that was an amazing answer to hear. Just like when we’re born, we don’t know, and I’ve always thought when we die we don’t know we just transition. God bless everyone.💜🙏🏽
these videos are SO important for everyone to watch. So many times, I have seen patients die in agony because the family thinks we 'dope' their loved ones. Or they want their family member to be 'coherent' close to the end. They are not coherent because they are in agony. It is enough to break your heart to see this happen. Also when families have a family member who is of advanced age who refuse to change their code status. So you want us to preform chest compressions on your 90 lb, 90 year old mom who is bedbound, has dementia with agitation? I just hope I am not working when she passes, I really don't want to be the one breaking her poor ribs trying to bring her back. :(
Another great video, we all need much more education about end of life.
Thank you for your honesty. I think it helps people be more prepared when it's actually their time. 🙂
Hi Julie. I have a PhD in physiology and taught for many years at university. Your videos are excellent. Many thanks.
You can come in and drug me up til i die. Id rather die comfortable than in pain. To blame Hospice or medication is ridiculous when someone is that close to passing.
YES YES YES.!!
Seriously, I wouldn't mind a little extra morphine or whatever if I'm already dying.
My mother died at home on hospice and died peacefully but hospice were awful and slow in helping with her intractable vomiting in her final weeks. They would put her on a subcutaneous haldol infusion when she was an inpatient, then take her off when she went home. She could not absorb meds orally. I had to beg beg beg for subcutaneous pump at home - we knew it worked. Begging worked but she suffered a lot in that interval. Totally unnecessarily. That has really scarred me.
Hospice nurses are wonderful. That said, I'm old and have had quite a few hospice in my home. Years ago they gave you an aide 24/7 and visiting nurses. My husband died recently and the aide was once a week for a bath. I had done that for years. The nurse gave him an enema and left!!! He hemorrhage blood and feces and I was alone. Such a horrible memory. Never again.
Thank you Julie. Your videos are just what society needs to understand EOL and since we all live and die, it's merely a question of how and when. But people in the past would NEVER talk about death, they won't even say the words "die, death, dying or dead", they say "s/he passed" or what we in the medical field say, "s/he;s GONE." No one in their right mind wishes to die but we all do in time. If there is a better, easier, mentally healthier way to approach death, it is sorely needed! I have so much respect for hospice now and your videos have helped people immensely about knowing how to approach and deal with something that we ALL face in time, that's the fact that we all will eventually die!
You present your videos with a sensible yet very eloquent and honest information from the medical aspect, that is so needed and for that we truly thank you!
You are such a gift.
I commenced palliative care of my mom a few years ago. I don't live in the US and our 'hospice' care system doesn't prepare you at all. I asked but got no guidance. Mom bounced back and has been stable for a couple of years now and is off 'hospice' care. I am managing on my own. Your RUclips channel has been really educational and is exactly what I need - information about what to do and what to expect at end of life. Thank you.
As illness and deterioration take hold of our aging bodies...we automatically suffer pain. Sometimes it's chronic; sometimes we have reprieves. Living with constant pain now...I am so happy I was active throughout my healthy life...I am also prepared for the hereafter now..and part of that acceptance is because I know the pain will be gone.
I would not want to be awake through it all...just put me to sleep & let me go. I would not want to suffer, it's wrong anyone should have to suffer until the end😢
I admire you so much! And I love what you do to educate, demystify, and normalize what happens at the end of our lives! It can be pretty messy at the beginning of life too, when we are born. Thank you for reminding us that what happens when we die is also very normal.
It’s taking me a while to get over the fact that my sister was given so much medication at the end. She was only in hospice for five days. The last 48 hours she was completely unconscious. I felt like they. gave her too much medication and knocked her out. Looking back with a more clear head now I realize they had to, but it’s still hard.
Same thing happened with my grandmother
@@sasha185 some days. I kind of understand why they did that, other days I am so mad. it’s hard when you have such bad feelings about a situation.
Same thing happened to my husband, he went into the ambulance and he was knocked out when I met him in hospice 20 minutes later. They wanted to "settle" him and he....just got knocked out.
Man, you are full of really good medical info that ppl just need to hear. Your advice really helped me as my father was entering his final days. Thank you so much.
Thank you, Nurse Julie .
Thanks Julie
In the last two years my two sisters passed from colon cancer, and my mom from Parkinson’s. I so wish my sisters and I could have seen this before they passed. They both struggled and would not engage Hospice. It was so difficult to watch. My mom was a bit better, but still difficult. You are truly helping others. Peace!
@hospicenursejulie ......I had a Hospice nurse tell me (I worked for a DR) one day that a lot of patients need to be told it's OK to die........when my Mother was hanging on (at 101 yrs old) I spoke with a Hospice Minister and asked him to give my mother permission to die........he said okay, I'll call you back later.......about 10 minutes (at the most) went by and the phone rang and it was the Minister.......he said.....She's gone...and it was such a wonderful feeling that she was finally on her way.......and so quickly.......as soon as he told her it's okay to die (move on) she did.....This was/is, hands down, the best advice I've ever had.....
Thank you for all of your wisdom. I just purchased your book and looking forward to reading it. You truely are appreciated.
Nurse Julie, if a patient is termina and has weeks to live and has horrific nerve pain, why wouldn't hospice administer IV morphine and forget the Gabapentin? Wouldn't IV morphine control the pain faster? Decades ago when the medical field as a whole was not adequately treating pain, I had a relative that was in hospice and the staff would not give him anything stonger than hydrocodone hydrochloride per his doctor's orders. He desperately wanted to commit suicide as his pain was unbearable.
His doctor said anything stronger was addictive. I was stunned as the man was dying. Why would a doctor care about a terminal patient becoming addicted to pain medication at that point?
He had pancreatic cancer by the way.
It’s outrageous that they won’t do this!
Hospice MDs have gotten better addressing this attitude. If this should occur the best recourse is point blank ask the MD how long does the physician think the patient has to live. Take that info and proceed with the following conversation-let me understand this better the patient is in hospice care, you state they most likely have x time to live why do you have concerns about addiction when the patient is terminal. They will not live to have any concerns regarding withdrawal & recovery. If you get nowhere with this convo demand an ombudsman.
@@cavgrey8good advice, I will definitely not tolerate concern about addiction when someone is in hospice.
Hope they don’t give Gapapine,try it for nerve pain and made me so sick.
It is cruel not to give dying patients in pain Morphine.
I will be in a mercy in hospice care of the nurse and not all that caring like you
Scary
that's ridiculous isn't it! My Father was an MD and he had much suffering near the end of his life and he stopped eating and drinking and knew he'd soon be dead - I can remember when he said he didn't want Fentanyl patch because he'd become addicted - I just thought wow, he's not thinking clearly now....
My father passed away last night from cancer. I stayed with him until the end, even though death has been my biggest fear in life. I faced it for the first time when I watched my dad take his last breath😢 Love you Dad ❤
I'll pray for your father. Dunno why this comment amongst others made me answer and say a prayer. Maybe because I lost my dad 5 years ago. I wasn't with him at his last weeks, we were in long lasting quarrel. He had cancer too. We didnt make peace. If you're okay with prayers, please, pray for my father as well.
@Redium_rd You're most very welcome. We were very much a dysfunctional family, but I was able to make peace in the final months before my father's passing. And also to talk with my daughter, who I was estranged. Bless you and your father and all other fathers who have passed out there ❤️
@@jenniferharper3896 thank you. Your answer brought me peace and calmness. It's very rare to me sharing my awful story, especially with stranger, especially at comment section. But this small interaction made me feel much better. You're very kind person. Praying for you and your father.
@Redium_rd You take care of yourself as I must try too as well. It's 3.22 am here, and I'm far from home with my emotions riding a roller coaster. Sweet dreams 😴 x
@@jenniferharper3896 k
Love your content NJ, & I've heard you speak about the death experience as often dying the way you live. But as someone with C-PTSD who's also worked on myself for decades, including meditation, I still have anxiety that affects my progressive Neuro condition and pain, leading to something that sounds similar to Terminal Agitation. This scares me because as hard as I've worked on forgiveness, empathy, etc, it feels like even in the end I won't overcome something that was never my fault to begin with (child abuse). Been wondering about this for years now here. 🙏🕊️
It sounds like you've done a lot of hard work to heal yourself, and I hope that healing continues. You deserve peace and happiness.
Thank You for your videos! We can all benefit from your knowledge and make our own end of life better for everyone 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Do you have any advice on how to deal with nurses that are extremely conservative with morphine?
I watched a family member needlessly suffer immensely because of this. She was acting like she was treating a normal patient (as opposed to someone that was passing). I felt so helpless and like I failed them. Now I'm scared for other loved ones and myself.
This is sad & I think this happens more than it should. I’m so sorry u had to go thru that. I read Studies that said cancer patients who’re dying are often under medicated for pain, which’s sad. No one should have to suffer like that. If a person’s dying, terminally ill, etc.. they should be comfortable !! Pain meds shouldn’t be an issue ❤️🩹
As you mentioned there are times when the nurses are not around where the family is trying to figure out what to do when your loved one is stressed out in the middle of the night. We had the situation where my husband was very agitated and wanted to get up evey half hour. He was on oxygen and kept wanting to take off his canola, he had end stage copd so he needed to be on oxygen. It was exhausting! People, please do not be concerned to call the triage nurse in the middle of the night...that's why they are there! I wish we would have been more aggressive with his medications during that time. Thank you for what you do Julie! I started watching you well before I went thru hospice 6 weeks ago with my beloved husband ❤
Dear Julie. Your book is a masterpiece. I truly enjoyed it and going to read it again. Thank you so much
Just found your channel, and I am finding your videos really helpful. I have 79-year-old mother who is in good health for her age. I agree with you that education is power. I lost my father to terminal cancer 9 years ago, and we were blindsided by what happened to him and how it affected us as a family. I was also going through post cancert care with my mother at the time. Thank you for this channel.
My father was given morphine until the end. It was a blessing as his mind was still sharp but his body, especially his kidneys were shutting down. Thank you for your videos.
Same with my beloved brother who passed on 4.26.24 four months ago today..
@@31Alden 💅
elderley people get a lot of urine infections that can also make some behavior change
God bless you Julie. I've always thought that Hospice way of dying was bad. But I so want Hospice before I die. Currently I have mild dementia and am visually impaired due to it. Im not scared of dumying, just the process of it.
God bless you
Just want to remind you about the most most important decision we need to make before we die, and that is to receive Jesus as our Lord and Savior. I just wanted to let you know a little about what the bible says. It takes more than just believing in God. John 3:3 says, we must be Born Again to get to heaven before our time is up.. Everyone has sinned and fallen short of God's glorious standard, and all need to be made right with God by his grace, which is a free gift. We need to be made free from sin through Jesus Christ. Bible also says, its not by works should any one boast. So being a good person does not get you to heaven either. The only way to heaven is by repenting of your sins, which means a change of mind, and putting your faith and trust in Jesus. Romans 10:13 says, Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. So you see, there is a need for salvation to get to heaven. That is why Jesus died on the cross. He took all of our sins upon him, so that if you accept Him as your Lord and Savior, you can have eternal life in paradise. You do not get there being a good person, or doing good deeds. Many people believe that is all it takes. Jesus also says, that I am the way, the Truth, and the Life, no one comes unto the father, except through me. So please make that decision, so that you can have peace and comfort before your time is up. Its the most important decision of your life. You can then have that peace and assurance of salvation in your heart. All you have to do is humble your heart and pray with faith,... "I repent of my sins, and I turn to You. You said in Your word that if we confess with our mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in our hearts that God raised Him from the dead, we shall be saved. I ask You Jesus to forgive me of all my sins, come into my heart, and take control of my life. From this day forward I want to live for you. ..... It's not about the words, it's about your heart. The Lord will then send His Holy Spirit to live on the inside of you. The Holy Spirit is Gods seal of salvation, and your evidence you have been Born Again. He will transform your heart and mind. He will bring you into a personal relationship with Jesus. You will become a new person inside. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new”. Its truly amazing! You will be filled with peace, love, and joy from the Lord inside you. All the fruits of the Holy Spirit. He will comfort you in your time of need, and give you the strength to endure. No matter what you are going through, Jesus wants to help you through it. You can lean on Him. Its the most important decision of anyone's life. God's Word says that we are saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus and not by our own efforts or works (Ephesians 2:8-9). Grace Alone. Jesus is the only way to heaven. Please believe me, its all in the bible. Its the Word of God. I am not judging or condemning anyone, just letting you know there is much more if you put your trust in Him. Jesus cares for you, and wants a personal relationship with you. Please don't wait. Today is the day of salvation. Come to Him now, and give yourself freely to Him. He loves you and will save you! I'm praying for you. Please ask Jesus to come into your life today, my friend, You are special to Jesus. Romans 10:9-10. "If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. Be blessed
This is sadly true... my husbabd 46 passed monday of agressive colon cancer. Your videos thru his 3 yr fight helped me cope. But i wont lie. The end was hard... esp how harsh his rattle became. He sounded as if drownding. Crisis care came in to adjust him to comfort. He passed 10 hours later😢
I’m so sorry that your husband passed so recently. Sending a huge hug from Scotland 🏴 ❤
@@maggietaylor9475 Ty lots
Sending love ❤ and 🤗 hugs .
My sister is dying of cancer and truly has few days left to live. I hear noises in her upper chest and it’s quite scary.
I'm so very sorry. I pray for a peaceful passing for your sister and hopefully much support for you during this difficult time. My mom passed 3 months ago. None of this is easy. ❤@@janedixon8491
My veterinarian sis just said, “We need this lady on our team.”
You are so good. Thanks for all you do to help xx your videos have helped me through two deaths , both my in laws. Without you I couldn’t have been so prepared and have been able to help my husband so much xx
You have great videos….thank you 💜
Hi ❤ one of your videos just came up (must be the U Tube algorithm) even though I haven’t been searching for videos such as these? So algorithm 🤷🏼♀️I don’t know what’s up with that. Anyways, I 🫶🏻 find you to be very intelligent, informative and kind. Thank you. I’m learning so much from you. My friend has short bowel, COPD and liver failure due to the TPN. He has been hanging in there for 2yrs now despite many hospital stays. He has a plan to go full on hospice when he decides to. He is a DNR. After the emergency short bowel surgery he was put on full TPN. The idea was that he would become stronger and be able to get a transplant but not happening. When on full TPN, he wouldn’t eat because food didn’t taste good and unfortunately the TPN is destroying his liver. The medical community has since put him on half TPN and now he eats real food and has his taste back. We eat many meals together and that is wonderful. That said, the majority of what he eats and drinks goes straight to the ileostomy bag therefore he’s not getting the proper nutrients because of absorption. This is the longest comment I have ever written on U Tube.
My father just passed on July 7th from stage 4 small cell lung cancer. His hospice nurses couldn't believe he wasn't suffering or in pain during his last 2 months..We are extremely grateful for that.
My condolences to you and your family. My mom also passed on July 7th.
@1Momofthree3 God Bless!
I wish I had known my mom was going to look so scary when she died. She was a past life therapist and very accepting of death and she was very calm but the look on her face when she died haunted me. I think I expected her to smile and drift off and that didn't happen.
Yes, in the movies that's what they show. In reality, the muscles are slack....and the mouth is open. That was a shock when my sister passed.
@@kgr0527 No, she look like she saw something terrible. I think it was just the way her face ended up looking because right before she died she told me that my dad was there for her and she was really excited to go.
@@jmb1101 Ohhhh, yes, remember her excitement instead ❤️🫂
Just want to remind you about the most most important decision we need to make before we die, and that is to receive Jesus as our Lord and Savior. I just wanted to let you know a little about what the bible says. It takes more than just believing in God. John 3:3 says, we must be Born Again to get to heaven before our time is up.. Everyone has sinned and fallen short of God's glorious standard, and all need to be made right with God by his grace, which is a free gift. We need to be made free from sin through Jesus Christ. Bible also says, its not by works should any one boast. So being a good person does not get you to heaven either. The only way to heaven is by repenting of your sins, which means a change of mind, and putting your faith and trust in Jesus. Romans 10:13 says, Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. So you see, there is a need for salvation to get to heaven. That is why Jesus died on the cross. He took all of our sins upon him, so that if you accept Him as your Lord and Savior, you can have eternal life in paradise. You do not get there being a good person, or doing good deeds. Many people believe that is all it takes. Jesus also says, that I am the way, the Truth, and the Life, no one comes unto the father, except through me. So please make that decision, so that you can have peace and comfort before your time is up. Its the most important decision of your life. You can then have that peace and assurance of salvation in your heart. All you have to do is humble your heart and pray with faith,... "I repent of my sins, and I turn to You. You said in Your word that if we confess with our mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in our hearts that God raised Him from the dead, we shall be saved. I ask You Jesus to forgive me of all my sins, come into my heart, and take control of my life. From this day forward I want to live for you. ..... It's not about the words, it's about your heart. The Lord will then send His Holy Spirit to live on the inside of you. The Holy Spirit is Gods seal of salvation, and your evidence you have been Born Again. He will transform your heart and mind. He will bring you into a personal relationship with Jesus. You will become a new person inside. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new”. Its truly amazing! You will be filled with peace, love, and joy from the Lord inside you. All the fruits of the Holy Spirit. He will comfort you in your time of need, and give you the strength to endure. No matter what you are going through, Jesus wants to help you through it. You can lean on Him. Its the most important decision of anyone's life. God's Word says that we are saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus and not by our own efforts or works (Ephesians 2:8-9). Grace Alone. Jesus is the only way to heaven. Please believe me, its all in the bible. Its the Word of God. I am not judging or condemning anyone, just letting you know there is much more if you put your trust in Him. Jesus cares for you, and wants a personal relationship with you. Please don't wait. Today is the day of salvation. Come to Him now, and give yourself freely to Him. He loves you and will save you! I'm praying for you. Please ask Jesus to come into your life today, my friend, You are special to Jesus. Romans 10:9-10. "If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. Be blessed
I just ordered your book and am looking forward to reading it. The idea of death has always been scary to me!
Thank you for All this valuable imfo! Making it Simple! God Bless You Sweetie!!! ❣️🌻🙏🏼
Another thing you can do to make end of life less chaotic is to have a plan. What do you want/don’t want during the dying process and after? As a family ask for help and ask questions. Who do you want to help. Seek spiritual guidance and comfort. Like with a newborn, get sleep when you can. Finally, consider hiring a death doula to help guide you on this path.
Thanks!
thank you!
Wonderful information to be prepared.
You're providing a very important service. God bless you.
Do you have a video explaining way people at the end of life may start swearing and are just nasty though they were never like this? Seen this a few times when my family members have passed and want to discuss this with my adult children in case this happens to me. New subscriber and you're great!
I have a living will & I’ve discussed everything in it w/ my family. Hopefully, 🤞 🙏 we won’t be going down that path for a long time.
However, it’s good to go over it. So when my time comes. My family knows my final wishes ❤❤❤
PS: I love ❤️ your videos! So informative, thank you 😊 You’re an Angel 😇
I guess you have to deal with family members and patients that don't experience chronic pain conditions which can happen at the end of life. Everything you mentioned is second nature to me because that is how I have to manage my migraines. Sometimes I can't be instantly pain free and sometimes I have to sleep it off.
Thank you for explaining it in detail.
Agreed, chronic pain teaches you to throttle your pain free expectations, so we have that! 😮
@@lulumoon6942 It also gives me very low standards for what "feeling fine" means unfortunately =/
I had a tooth abscess for 2 weeks (endo wanted to save the tooth so we did antibiotics, ibuprofen (swelling) & hydrocodone (which was useless) for pain).
I don't even know how I shuttled dad back & forth to & from his chemo & radiation appointments during all of that, but it needed to be done & there was no one else, so it got done. Sometimes we just end up on autopilot & don't even remember getting through stuff like that.
Well so much for “nothing to fear”. I wish this was true. She died after a thirteen month, two week and two day tragic battle, psychologically, spiritually and emotionally shattered, exhausted and struggling with her breathing…. gurgling, clasping and frantic for something to help. Utterly destroyed by a broken body, the morning was 10/10 pain and the afternoon slipped by with sadness and terror in her eyes….and treated with casual indifference, from ‘health care providers’ who were just doing their job. They were matter of fact and not very engaged. She was just on their ‘rounds’ She only lost consciousness in the last hour as her body shuddered and gasped and slipped away.
It was ugly, it was awful, it was torture and she didn’t want to die. She left behind young children, and a stricken husband.
Within hours of her last terrible gasp…her room was emptied out of her and her possessions with the bed made up clean and fresh to ‘welcome’ the next patient.
I totally think I’ve seen this before…..
This video is the same one as uploaded 3 weeks ago titled "What You Can Do When When Death Is Messy". Disappointing to see her reuploading the same videos as if it's something new.
I KNEW it! This is the first time I’ve seen a duplicate video on her channel
Thank you
Good you seem to know well enough when your time comes to experience it yourself
Turns out my son was drug resistant and it took a lot to knock him out. He slept comfortably for the last few days of his life. Hospice & palliative workers are angels among us. I will be forever grateful to them.
My mom suffered with ALS for over two years. She could not eat, drink, or talk. It was absolutely horrific. I was with her when she died, but I was 8 months pregnant at the time and terrified out of my mind. It was all I could do to sit in the recliner near her and concentrate on my breathing as she passed. I feel so, so, SO ashamed and awful that I wasn't more supportive to her during her death. What can I do to make up for this? How do I get over the guilt? It's been over four years since she died and I'm just now starting to really think about everything. She was a wonderful person, a wonderful mother, and I miss her desperately. Any advice would be so helpful.
I know of a hospice patient who was stage 4 cancer, lots of pain, and they refused him morphine. Any thoughts?
That’s terrible!
Their family members have to fight hard for them sometimes by reminding them that they are dying. It’s awful to let someone suffer. I would ask for a higher up.
Sadistic !
I don’t understand why they have to keep them safe if they are DYING!!! Let them walk if they want to. What’s the worse that can happen???
It's a legal issue. You know people will try to sue if a dying person is moving around freely and gets hurt.
@@ChrisMalloy-u3f That’s crazy though. If I’m dying and one of my last wishes is to move around I want to move around. Yet people will say I can’t cause I might die. B! I’m already dying! Let me have that one last thing!
I have read your book and passed it on to a friend. It would be helpful if you could produce a video with what I should put in an advanced directive to make my death more peaceful. So when do I ask for IV line to be removed? When do I ask for no food, hydration? How and when do I ask for no feeding tube?
Thank you ❤
Thank you for your post
Hi Julie - thank you so much for your videos. My Dad is in end of life care at a hospice in the UK and you have given me an understanding of what is really going on with him. I hope he passes soon - as heartless as that may sound - but he is lying in a bed and cant do anything and is very weak because he has been refusing food for a week now.He was an extremely intelligent and articulate man and it totally breaks my heart to see him like this.
Two thumbs up Julie.
I'm not afraid of dying, but I am afraid of end-of-life stool.
I'm 61.I Want Morphine,Dilated ANYTHING.I have 5 children i know some pain.But give us a Break when were dieing.Love ya by the way❤
What are your experiences/thoughts regarding end stage multiple myeloma?
Julie, could you explain why people lose their voice when they are days/weeks away from dying?
That for me is something to fear
Not all Hospice’s are equal. Alive Hospice provides Morphine pumps for home and inpatient units along with a BAD drip. Ask before you admit. I’m a Hospice nurse. Blessings
From what I am reading Australian palliative care seems better managed than in the US. Syringe drivers are routinely used.
If im in a nursing home will they come to me ir would i go elsewhere?
Hi, I have a disorder called Loeys-Dietz Syndrome. It causes aortic aneurysms and brain aneurysms. I'm a young person (31, but family members have died very young grandma at only 57). I want to know what it's going to be like, as a young person, to die from a disorder like mine. What am I going to feel? How long will it take?
I know it's going to be painful. I'm just curious about maybe what else I might feel at the time.
Just want to remind you about the most most important decision we need to make before we die, and that is to receive Jesus as our Lord and Savior. I just wanted to let you know a little about what the bible says. It takes more than just believing in God. John 3:3 says, we must be Born Again to get to heaven before our time is up.. Everyone has sinned and fallen short of God's glorious standard, and all need to be made right with God by his grace, which is a free gift. We need to be made free from sin through Jesus Christ. Bible also says, its not by works should any one boast. So being a good person does not get you to heaven either. The only way to heaven is by repenting of your sins, which means a change of mind, and putting your faith and trust in Jesus. Romans 10:13 says, Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. So you see, there is a need for salvation to get to heaven. That is why Jesus died on the cross. He took all of our sins upon him, so that if you accept Him as your Lord and Savior, you can have eternal life in paradise. You do not get there being a good person, or doing good deeds. Many people believe that is all it takes. Jesus also says, that I am the way, the Truth, and the Life, no one comes unto the father, except through me. So please make that decision, so that you can have peace and comfort before your time is up. Its the most important decision of your life. You can then have that peace and assurance of salvation in your heart. All you have to do is humble your heart and pray with faith,... "I repent of my sins, and I turn to You. You said in Your word that if we confess with our mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in our hearts that God raised Him from the dead, we shall be saved. I ask You Jesus to forgive me of all my sins, come into my heart, and take control of my life. From this day forward I want to live for you. ..... It's not about the words, it's about your heart. The Lord will then send His Holy Spirit to live on the inside of you. The Holy Spirit is Gods seal of salvation, and your evidence you have been Born Again. He will transform your heart and mind. He will bring you into a personal relationship with Jesus. You will become a new person inside. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new”. Its truly amazing! You will be filled with peace, love, and joy from the Lord inside you. All the fruits of the Holy Spirit. He will comfort you in your time of need, and give you the strength to endure. No matter what you are going through, Jesus wants to help you through it. You can lean on Him. Its the most important decision of anyone's life. God's Word says that we are saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus and not by our own efforts or works (Ephesians 2:8-9). Grace Alone. Jesus is the only way to heaven. Please believe me, its all in the bible. Its the Word of God. I am not judging or condemning anyone, just letting you know there is much more if you put your trust in Him. Jesus cares for you, and wants a personal relationship with you. Please don't wait. Today is the day of salvation. Come to Him now, and give yourself freely to Him. He loves you and will save you! I'm praying for you. Please ask Jesus to come into your life today, my friend, You are special to Jesus. Romans 10:9-10. "If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. Be blessed
Bless you
I've been sick 20+now cirrhosis liver I'm ready to go on Hospice not many people agree😢
Please do what you want, not what others want. You are important❤
🔲Here are a few suggestions (⚠️not medical advice):
▪️ Call the medical insurance company using the phone number which is on the back of your insurance card.☎️
▪️Hopefully you can explain simply, that you need to talk with your patient coordinator (they may use a different name).
▪️ At first simply state, I feel that I am ready for either Pallative care or Hospice. (These have similarities. ✳️ Nurse Julie has excellent videos if you like to understand the difference).
▪️Alternatively, you could call your physician office 👨🏽⚕️ and explain to person on phone even if it's an "appointment scheduler" that you believe that you may need palliative or hospice care. Obviously, tell them you need help.
🔲 I don't know your circumstances. There is one lesson that I learned the difficult way. Briefly - my partner, out of the blue mentioned on two very separate occasions that he thought he might die "this year". He had medical issues; however, the issues were being addressed; and I was his professional care giver (CNA) plus I cared for him all the other hours for which the agency didn't assign me. He was and still is "the Love of my Life"💕.......
......Crazy events occurred for both of us. I was with him to the end. He had all the care needed. Just personally, I wish that I sat and talked with him when he blurted out such unusual comments. I was so unwilling to think he was not going to be in my life. I told him no.....We have many more years ahead.
♥️ So I believe what you are saying. I don't have any idea what is occurring medically with you; however, you obviously think you need some extra care and if it's not Hospice.....it maybe Palliative care. Your medical team will make the correct assessment for you.
▪️▫️Hoping you find whatever help you need quickly. Sounds like you have managed your diease along time which is impressive. 👍
▪️▫️ Love, Prays, Hugs and Peace with Comfort. 🪶💟☮️🕉️
I am troubled with putting the dying person having to deal with pain for hours while a doctor has to give permission for different meds or more meds, or hospice by 2024 hasn't become more efficient and timely to upgrade their procedures. If compassion is the reason to have this service, then a patient shouldn't have to be the only one enduring the pain while the rest of us go about our lives.
I WANT to be asleep until I die! I’ve suffered with chronic pain throughout my life and at the very least want my exit to be as pain-free as possible. Drugs, PLEASE!
It bothers me that you don't answer questions in the inbox because I had a terrible experience with my mom on Hospice and it torments me. I have PTSD and I have nightmares about my mom, I need some advice.... (?)
@@LilByrdFly2
I don’t think she can keep up with every message.
Try to go to a local hospice for help, because they do offer help for after your loved one has passed on.
@@patrickflohe7427 I did try that bereavement counseling? The woman had no answers for me so I walked out and left and didn't return. Plus I have PTSD and I think she had no clue of how to deal with me at all, And she didn't want to say anything until upset me further. So no that was a bust I left
"Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) is a common lung disease causing restricted airflow and breathing problems. It is sometimes called emphysema or chronic bronchitis.16 Mar 2023"
Very common to some tobacco smokers, including ex smokers. Also some industrial workers, poisoned by previous work environments. In my personal case, my throat of medically rubbish. Allergic to any food, medications, fluids, including my own saliva. COPD events any food, medical or fluid intake.
Eventually a PEG will be needed, to bypass my belly behaving throat. Expectancy of life, on average, after this PEG operation, is about two years. In the meantime, my wife, my hospice staff, my medical and nursing staff, and the occasional ambulance staff, go crazy on panic mode, when my lungs fight to reject the foreign things trying to enter my trachea.
With my severe Traumatic Brain Injury, for the last 40 years (car accident), my main job is try to reassure the previous crazies around me, to calm down. It is ok to die. Aged 74 now.. My life has been ok. Not perfect, but ok.
As someone who has lived a lifetime of severe pain, I find your comment about druggiing people up until they are asleep, and when they wake up you back the sedative off, offensive. Why try and maintain life when they are in that much pain? This theory that life is precious and sacred, is a fallicy to those in such horrendous pain. If I qualified for assisting dying, I would go for it, but I only just miss out on it. The people around me think I am mad, but if I could give them a virtual reality experience, they would change their minds really quickly. Then I get accussed of being selfish, and they need time to process. They expect me to live in pain and suffering, while they get their heads around it, is beyond humane. We dont let animals suffer like this, and people can be jailed for having animals in this state.
Do you have any stories of spontaneous healing, where someone who is near the end, unexpectedly gets whole and gets well, we are taking about a miracle, and the hand of God. 🙂🙏🙏🙏
Look into the story of Anita Moorjani.
Story or facts?
No..I want realistic education, please
@@visi7891Exactly, thank you! We are here to learn scientific facts, and help prepare ourselves and loved ones for the inevitable without fear and anxiety. Please take the godly miracles somewhere else, and leave us to process reality in peace.
@@bobc5730 Look it up.
My late mother was diagnosed over the phone by the Hospice doctor, nurse, and my long-retired LPN sister, with Diverticulitis. She was put on oral morphine, at home. She was in agony when awake. Well....she had also fallen before she started grabbing her left side (she had dementia and couldn't speak). Turned out she had broken all of the ribs on her left side when she fell. NO diverticulitis. She suffered for days, in and out of consciousness, until the morphine was increased and she died. I'm still angry. let's face it: morphine is euthanasia. With the elderly.
💔 Ugh this made me sad! I would be angry too. Hugs friend...
And completely agree with you about morphine.
@@angeledwards3062 thank you. The dementia was awful, but she was misdiagnosed, put on antibiotics for something she didn’t have, morphine for pain that she couldn’t tell us the source of, and you know the rest of the story. It’s all over but the shoutin’ as they say down South. RIP Mama 😞
@@lizstraub6621 They assumed, your Mom had diverticulitis. Not checking on your Mom ,with broken ribs, would upset me. Sounds very difficult.💜
this is the "death isn't always pretty" video witha new name, I'm confused.
I can understand a couple of hours for medicine to kick in, but 12 hours is too much. Can't Hospice make them sleep so they can rest through the pain.
Nope! You've just sold me on M.A.I.D. (medical assistance in dying) Zero pain, zero suffering. However, the services Hospice provides are quite amazing. My personal vote would be to drug the crap out of me so I just don't FEEL anything, PLEASE! Twelve hrs of suffering until someone gets it right?? No thanx!
They gave my Mom morphine strips so she didn't have to swallow she slept I was okay with that I wanted her to meet my Dad with a smile.
❤....🇮🇪
Thanks! For teaching me how to take a shit with Jesus Christ of Nazareth
I think she’s repeating the same things over and over. There’s only so much you can learn about end of life.
There are always newcomers who appreciate hearing what they didn't know
Repetition is good sometimes. If you have already committed the information to mind then you don't need to watch this one.
There can be new information in newer videos. People are likely to watch the most recent videos only.
If you want to understand death then you should read " Bhagavad- gita As It Is, Macmillan 1972"
Thanks!
thank you!