What's Behind the Female Desire for Male Guidance?

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  • Опубликовано: 24 дек 2024

Комментарии • 73

  • @fedup1606
    @fedup1606 8 дней назад +44

    Maybe they do want a man's ability to prioritize, but GD, they sure do fight it.

  • @Resist.Tyranny
    @Resist.Tyranny 8 дней назад +12

    1. Decision making - study in business showed women want to talk much more before making a decision. Men make the decision quickly and would rather get to work, and if necessary, adapt later. They also determined the men more often came to the best decision the first time.
    2. In critical scenarios, fear (more common in women) has a very negative, even life-threatening effect on decision making. In traffic situations, physical attack and other scenarios any delay due to paralysis of decision making can be fatal. One second is an eternity.
    3. Differences: Women's upper body strength averages one half to one quarter of men's. Women are naturally attracted to the guy with a strong muscular look. Science has shown a strong correlation between fertility and hip to waist ration in women. Therefore, men are attracted to curves. Simple biology.
    4. Many women do not embrace the difference and take advantage of it. Even when the decision is inherently obvious to the most casual observer, they may still fight it due to emotional garbage.

    • @SimpleFarming05
      @SimpleFarming05 8 дней назад +3

      Recently my girlfriend called me. First thing she asked was if I am still at home or at work. I told her I am at work. Then she asked me if her family's dog was ok the last time I walked it a week ago. And I told her that he was normal but I thought in my head that something is very wrong with him if she is asking me this question. Then she started crying and telling me that their dog puked a lot and made weird noises and that she thinks something is very wrong with him. I told her to drive him to the vet because I thought his stomach turned or something and she said she's alone at home and doesn't have a car. I told her to ask a neighbour but no neighbour was at home. Then I said that she should call her dad because it's his dog and she said that she is not going to do that and that the dog is probably just normal puking as dogs do. And that she thought of their previous dog in that moment that died from some unrelated illnes.
      So then I was thinking to myself that she acted very weird for an emergency. She did everything wrong, instead of telling me straight what is wrong with the dog she asked me time waisting questions at the start. And even the fact that she called me instead of her dad was weird because I walked the dog a week ago and her dad is with him every day, how am I supposed to know what is wrong with him. I think that she unconciusly knew that puking isn't so serious but the dog looked in pain and that reminded her of the previous dog to which she was very attached. And she just wanted me to reassure her that it's going to be ok. But I went all soldier mode yelling at her that the dog needs the vet asap, because she made it sound at the start like it is dying in her hands. This all made me think why some women look helpless in emergency situations.
      One day her mom started screaming and I ran to her room. When I open the door I see a cat hanging from a heating radiator and her mom just standing there and screaming. The poor cat got it's claw stuck in that grill on top of the radiator. From the start of the screaming and me rescuing the cat took maybe 5 seconds. When I saw the cat hanging I imediately lifted it up and got it's claw unstuck in a second or two. I didn't think about anything else. But her mom probably thought about million things, that the cat will scratch her or something. Those kimd of emergencies give me food for thought about how helpless some women in my life are without a man around. Not all women are as helpless though

    • @EriPages
      @EriPages 7 дней назад

      @@SimpleFarming05 Not as helpless, but all women are more or less helpless. They are Adult ---- Children. An inbetween.

  • @ComputersAndLife
    @ComputersAndLife 8 дней назад +18

    My mistake is that I seek input from my wife when she just wants me to make a decision and when I do, won't agree with it and decides on her own thing anyways.

    • @cattywampusmcdoogle
      @cattywampusmcdoogle 8 дней назад +6

      that's a bad wife

    • @gonzo5648
      @gonzo5648 8 дней назад +3

      Yeah. You've basically got to resolve, silently, to just take charge and deal with the fallout whatever happens. Listening to them is setting you up for fall, because it's going to be your fault regardless.
      My girl will complain she doesn't ain't to handle chores like shopping sometimes, so I capitulate and it generally ends in her being extra stressed because that chore didn't get done and now it hangs over head, and she will dump her stress responses on me til it's handled. It's a loss/loss, so you may as well make the right choice, suffer the lesser evil of being her less than favorite person in the moment, but be the better man by doing what needs doing for the greater moment. Jesus they drive me crazy.

    • @matticus1980
      @matticus1980 8 дней назад +5

      Or rather, tell her she doesn't get to decide how you make decisions. If you want input first, that's your prerogative. If your wife just wants a decision, any decision, tell her to flip a coin and leave you out of it.

  • @joeandgod1
    @joeandgod1 7 дней назад +1

    A WOMAN IS THE EXPRESSION OF LOVE AND A MAN IS THE EXPRESSION OF TRUTH

  • @hightechinspector2280
    @hightechinspector2280 8 дней назад +11

    Single men seek no drama, just peace now without women in our lives.
    Women don't know what they want these days. Wise men know they can't change that, so we seek peace by remaining single.
    15 years of peace at 55 years old is proof of that.

  • @martybuck
    @martybuck 7 дней назад +2

    My wife is very intelligent and is a CPA. She wants me to make nearly all decisions. If she really disagrees, she start a discussion about it. It actually works quite well.

  • @Neoteny-j4z
    @Neoteny-j4z 8 дней назад +6

    We have a slight confession to make ladies. When alarm bells are going off, we have this habit of looking over your heads, literally and figuratively.

  • @4Authenticity
    @4Authenticity 8 дней назад +3

    Anya I love how you see and celebrate the differences. That the +/- assigned to the attributes of each sex is NOT a symbol of value, but of direction.
    Your discussion of prioritization made me think of how women multiply (consider more options) and men reduce, or maybe a better way to say it would be to say edit out.
    Your content is so affirming to both sexes! I have no doubt your channel will grow yet it will encounter dark forces. Keep shinning!

    • @anyashakh
      @anyashakh  6 дней назад

      very well said - multiply versus reduce - I like it.

  • @LuckysLair
    @LuckysLair 6 дней назад

    Not gonna mansplain, you got this, "Brave and Stunning"

  • @jboy4023
    @jboy4023 8 дней назад +4

    Cool video. I the love the possibilities and interplay between masculine and feminine. My wife is an interesting case study. She is very capable and highly skilled nurse. When she is at work she has to prioritize and lead. She is masculine at those times. We never have sex on work days or even the day after. It takes about a day for her to shed that role and move back into her feminine. I don’t think she is aware of that cycle. I don’t mention it. I just observe and enjoy watching her get back to her lovely self. Another interesting thing about her is that if I tried to talk to her about masculine and feminine roles she would get very angry. So we don’t talk about it much. The funny thing is that she falls into the traditional roles when she can and really enjoys me leading her and making decisions. That being said I always listen to her input and find it invaluable to my decision make process. So we work together well. I really believe that a man and a woman together make something bigger and more powerful than any individual. So cool!

    • @anyashakh
      @anyashakh  8 дней назад

      absolutely beautiful share, that's what it's all about :)

    • @Krunchtastic727
      @Krunchtastic727 8 дней назад

      I wouldn't want to deal with that. So i don't.

  • @michaeladams6913
    @michaeladams6913 3 дня назад

    You're truly a great communicator!! 🎄🎁 🐈‍⬛

  • @shin-ishikiri-no
    @shin-ishikiri-no 8 дней назад +7

    The only thing I find annoying is the fact that there are more men who are "submissive" than there are women who are comfortable taking the lead and guiding a man. The ratios are completely off, and it makes me wonder why women are so similar, whereas men seem to be highly variable in this respect. I can find relatively submissive men everywhere, and a lot of them are very intelligent and useful members of society (i.e. engineers, soldiers, etc). Women are almost always submissive to the point they cannot date a man unless he is dominant. I find the asymmetry disturbing.

    • @courtneyharris1006
      @courtneyharris1006 8 дней назад

      A mans path is painfully rigid. If you lie on a spectrum you immediately become unideal.

    • @anyashakh
      @anyashakh  6 дней назад

      really interesting. I believe there are definitely some naturally submissive men and dominant women out there, but with the ratios you are referring to, do you really believe all those men are truly submissive or perhaps they just defaulted to submission for any number of reasons (no strong father in the household, bullying without resolution, other childhood traumas, etc)?

    • @shin-ishikiri-no
      @shin-ishikiri-no 6 дней назад

      @@anyashakh This may be the case for some men but there are many timid men who are genuinely not aggressive or dominant. "Dominant" vvomen are rare and when they do exist, they seek out even more dominant partners. The majority do not seek out softer men... It's my hypothesis, but I think the simple answer is since men and women both start off in the womb as female, since XY is a mutation of XX, there is a higher likelihood for humans to default to feminine traits. I think men who are softer or less aggressive are simply doomed to be unattractive in the eyes of most women.

    • @jin8982
      @jin8982 6 дней назад

      ​@@anyashakhit's definitely because of the issues you've mentioned. It's also because of all the social engineering which is going on in the society done by the ruling class.

    • @mrgator9670
      @mrgator9670 6 дней назад

      Consider that only a few people in any group can lead - if everyone tried at once, they would just be fighting. It's important that the majority of people are followers. Not to mention, the traits of a leader are rare and difficult to develop.
      Dominance in a relationship is a little different from leading an entire group, but I think the same principle trickles down.
      So it's effective for "all" women to be followers, but it would not be efficient for all men to be leaders.
      And of course there's the massive influence of culture, media, childhood trauma, illness, etc. that can impede a person's ability to be dominant in a healthy manner.

  • @thegrimharvest
    @thegrimharvest 7 дней назад +1

    23:00 respectively, this is one of the areas where frustration sets in for us as men.
    "She wants to *feel* safe."
    That's rather the problem isn't it? *Feel*. We can only provide objective qualities that contribute to that, but ultimately it is still *her* choice, *her* responsibility, *her* feelings, which last I checked we can't control for her. Even if she wanted us to do so.
    The frustration from our side is that we can do X,Y,Z objective actions that provide the conditions of "safety" and she can still say she doesn't *feel* safe.
    In the same way we can do 1,2,3, the things she has told us she wants done, and then she'll still decide that we didn't do 1,2,3 because it wasn't Purple Monkey Dishwasher, which she didn't say or mention anytime either before or during 1,2,3, but only afterwards.
    If we ignore her, tell her to pound sand, we're in charge, we know what's best and right, we're the captain of the relationship, she resents it and the uses a bunch of weaponized therapy language to claim we're in the wrong completely.
    If we listen to her and capitulate to her requests, and do Purple Monkey Dishwasher, she's still unhappy about it because somehow we left a cake out in the rain, we still didn't do what she didn't say she didn't not want us to never not do. Because she *feels* that way, irrespective of facts. Because her *feelings* don't care about our facts.
    So how are we supposed to make her *feel* safe, besides the material, practical objective observable circumstances ?
    Actions I can do, steps I. can take, but her mind and her emotions are her responsibility. They have to be. Otherwise I'm doomed because I can't read her mind, and can't directly control her feelings. And she wouldn't want me to so anyways.

    • @frogeduck
      @frogeduck 7 дней назад +2

      This is a very limiting way of looking at things in my opinion. It seems like you may need to work on expanding your emotional awareness of other people. In a relationship, you kind of are responsible for each other’s feelings. You can’t have a happy partnership if one or both are unhappy. Usually, when women talk about wanting to feel safe, that means emotionally safe more than anything. We want to feel desired and respected. If you behave in a way that doesn’t inspire those feelings, there will always be a fear in the back of our minds that you will leave or hurt us in some way, and then we can’t ever fully relax. The main detractors from that feeling of emotional safety are criticism, inconsiderate behavior, anger, bad attitudes, lack of trust, and anxiety about the future. If you neglect fostering safety and try to reduce the relationship to a list of tasks to perform, she’s going to read that as you not caring. It’s tough to learn to navigate this stuff later in life if it wasn’t modeled to you as a kid, but it’s really important if you want to have good relationships with women.

    • @thegrimharvest
      @thegrimharvest 7 дней назад +1

      @frogeduck so you're saying it's not about providing positive liberties but not infringing on negative liberties?
      In the sense of "i don't want him to (bad thing you listed)" and that provides the emotional safety? In the same way as commonly said by men online that they want the woman "to be his peace"? That implies an absence of chaos. Is that the same thing that women are asking for?
      I'm still very much trying to understand this, from 30,000 feet out, because it was most certainly *not* modeled for me growing up in a very dysfunctional household. And I had no romantic relationships as a kid, or teenager to learn about these things, either.
      Feels like a whole entire spectrum of experience and existence I've completely missed out on by taking the specs and class I did, without being told those were wrong or faulty. Now of course no one owes me anything, so I have to earn and deserve it, and I can't very well do those things if I don't understand how they work, or what the definitions even are in the first place.
      Maybe I should stop trying to make sense of it and just "draw the damn owl" already...
      Either way, thanks for trying to clarify. It's more than the video did.

    • @anyashakh
      @anyashakh  6 дней назад +3

      I really appreciate how you laid all this out. One way you can help her feel safe is by being steady and grounded when she's expressing her full range of emotions. A woman feels the safest when she knows that she can fully be herself and her partner won't make it wrong, or bad, or try to make it stop, or take responsibility for her behavior. He's just steady and calm. When a woman doesn't feel that steadiness her instinct will have her resort to controlling mechanisms out of fear of not feeling safe (ie. trying to tell her partner what to do and criticism).

    • @thegrimharvest
      @thegrimharvest 6 дней назад +1

      @@anyashakh thanks for that. Between you and the other commetor I'm going to have to spend some time to think on what I've observed and now been told, see if I can wrap my head around it and actually get the whole picture and finally see the magic sailboat after years of starting and straining my eyes.

    • @bc4yt
      @bc4yt 2 дня назад

      ​@@anyashakh I was steady and calm, then I was accused of being disinterested and a "robot" 😂
      Women are simply never happy, unless they are happy within themselves, and their demands and reactions will always express their internal condition, regardless of how their man behaves.
      He can do everything perfectly, and she'll still be dissatisfied if hasn't taken care of her own emotional business.

  • @turloughobrien4867
    @turloughobrien4867 2 дня назад

    Reminds of the guy trying to reflect on the 40year old spool of twine he had almost being used up and relating it to his life.......
    Only for for his wife to film him saying " i thought you were working".....
    "But i see your wearing your favourite sportsteam cap which made me start to get a little worried" in an accusatory and condescending dismissive tone
    He just replayed bewildered " I'm done"😢

  • @tacocruiser4238
    @tacocruiser4238 8 дней назад +11

    This is why I could never vote for a woman president.

    • @cattywampusmcdoogle
      @cattywampusmcdoogle 8 дней назад +4

      especially when they sound like clinton or harris

    • @126theman
      @126theman 7 дней назад

      You wouldn’t vote for a female but you let females vote?

  • @adrianparker-e9f
    @adrianparker-e9f 8 дней назад +1

    For some reason (!) myself and my four brothers never acquired the traditional male traits of being a leader, dominance, confidence, etc. and are ( were ) all unsuccessful with women. I have an older and younger brother who married dominant women, that take 'lead' in the relationship and make the decisions. It wasn't until my early thirties that i started changing how i behaved and acted, much to my improvement, and it was very interesting to be able to see behaviour from a new angle.

    • @EriPages
      @EriPages 7 дней назад +1

      It's almost certainly because you had a dominant mother and a weak or absentee father

  • @kevingeorge1095
    @kevingeorge1095 3 дня назад

    I'm new to the dating market (after 25 years of marriage). I find that a very high percentage of women describe their personality profile type as: emotional. Then many will say they seek a man who can manage their emotions! What??? What if the MAN described his personality type as emotional and wanted a wife who could manage HIS emotions? That would be instantly classified as abuse!
    If I was interested in one of these self-described emotional women, I would have to ask, "How am I supposed to manage you when you are emotional?" What kind of authority do you give me to manage you? (They could not stomach that I would have any natural or God-given authority.) What form of domestic discipline would I be allowed to impose and not be considered abusive? I can almost guarantee that the very question would be shocking and insulting. They will say they want a man who can help them manage their emotions, but will then immediately deny him ANY ability to actually do such a thing, even if it is exactly what she needs!
    This is one reason why men are abandoning women and calling for MGTOW. Women want all the goodies a man has to offer and be able to hold him accountable when he is even a little out of line, but with no consequences when they are out of line. It's pathetic.

  • @EriPages
    @EriPages 7 дней назад +1

    Are you half white half Indian or something? One of my ex-girlfriends was Anya and she was half indian half scottish. Beautiful girl too. But I wasn't ready to marry at the time.

    • @jamesjonnes
      @jamesjonnes 5 дней назад

      She doesn't look Indian at all.

    • @EriPages
      @EriPages 5 дней назад

      @jamesjonnes Some half Indians don't look Indian at all
      My ex looked 100% white until she told me, then it was, "whoa"

    • @jamesjonnes
      @jamesjonnes 5 дней назад

      @EriPages If she didn't take a DNA test then she probably pulled an 'Elizabeth Warren' on you.

  • @SirGalahard
    @SirGalahard 7 дней назад

    Last I heard everything a man can do, a woman can do too.
    Was that a lie?

  • @cc8kk
    @cc8kk 8 дней назад

    Yep. 👍

  • @UntakenNick
    @UntakenNick 7 часов назад

    These are topics that would benefit women much more than men, yet judging by the comments, 99% of your audience is men that already agree with your views, so I don't get the point of it..

  • @alimarpelolargo
    @alimarpelolargo 8 дней назад

    Se ha preguntado por qué el mundo está tan mal?

  • @alimarpelolargo
    @alimarpelolargo 8 дней назад +1

    Estas muy guapa con ese look