Im a single mom of 3!!! I watched your content for sometime and I myself for sure thought I’d never be a single mom and unfortunately the stuff this guy says is true the majority of single moms have this mentality. I have 2 brothers and would warn them about this kinda stuff. Until I become a single mom the stigma kinda stings now but it’s true unfortunately for the majority of single women. Our focus needs to be on our children now and not finding a man.
@@LS-im6uc no, I never married the father of my children, we were very young when we got together and started our family. Unfortunately we didn’t have role models around us as we both came from parents who were separated or never married and I was too young to be having kids or to understand what kind of future was in store for me. There were a lot of problems that either we worked through to stay together for the 14 years that we did. But unfortunately there was bitterness and other people involved that there was no way we could even start to work things out. The two have to be willing and it can’t just be one sided.
@@carolt403 until recently I was actually dating a lady she is 40 with 3 kids and it was a challenge she also came from. Broken home and she picked a guy that left her with debt a home that was in bad shape. I came with the best intentions paid the bills became a father figure to kids fix as much I can fix and do chores that need it to be done and all of those things were in vain I'm not saying she bad she is good mom but always with money problems from the past and always daddy issues with the kids. And the end she just said I love you but no in love with you I guess it was not enough so I left never to look back and never heard from her best decision I ever made not to look back. Please don't think I was an angel I did messed up but with consuling and therapy we could have overcame it. Good luck wish you the best.
@@jorgeriera3337 wow that’s tough. I always made sure I was good just in case regarding my education, my money in case he ever decided to leave. So after he left, I was able to save more money he would always buy guns with our savings and I avoided conflict and wouldn’t like to fight about money. But I was able to purchase my first house and I never had debt. So I just have my mortgage now 🙏. I’m 30 and I know that if I ever decided to be with anyone he would have to have similar money management and good job stability but that would mean he would be a higher quality guy which should probably go for a young childless women. So I’d rather not even focus on that honestly I was in hell for the majority of that relationship and it wasn’t good for our kids and I’m at peace being alone. My kids keep me busy and I’ve never been a party girl or very outgoing. I love doing really (what most people would consider) boring things like reading, studying, expanding my knowledge in all sorts of topics. I haven’t watched tv in God knows how long 😂; some comedy here and there. But definitely my priorities are different and I’ll be in my early 40’s when my kids are adults so I’m okay with my situation. I think it’s all mental. I hope you the best and I definitely think each person that enters our life teaches us something. Sometimes it teaches you not to date single moms 😂 but I get it no hard feelings.
Hey Carol good morning I hope you are well wow I'm really glad you moved forward and found happiness with the situation of guns that's very dangerous especially around kids and you seem very center and you were able to move forward for not only your sake but the sake of your kids. And let me rephrase that I would not say never but more of if I do it again I would do it someone who has their stuff in order and bring happiness to not only the couple but the children as well. Have a great day
Women with kids are not ideal for unmarried men with no kids. Women with kids should look for guys with kids. Remember, marriage doesn't benefit men at all in the United States.
You are EXACTLY right. If a man has kids he should be open to dating a woman with kids. All the arguments Rich makes against dating a single mom seem to apply equally to single dads.
Married a single mother. JUST SAY NO!!! Made the mistake of moving because I was "Captain Saveahoe" this had a crippling effect on my kids. I needed this video a decade ago...
Same here. Married a mother of one and we had one of our own. She showed her true colors towards the end of our marriage. She had a favorite son and didn't give two shits about me or our son. She came sniffing around shortly before she got remarried after 6 years of ghosting us. I told my son to tread carefully but I want nothing to do with her. Now he keeps her at arm's length. She can't be trusted.
I’m staying single. I don’t have kids so life will be easy. You bring up very valid points my man. You just convinced me that it’s okay to die alone. I’m better off.
better is subjective but you will have more money, less stress and most likely never have to worry about what you own/where you live. Spouse/kids will change all that. I would not have kids to save my life but I would not give up the kids I have to save my life either. It was a combination of the best and worst things in my life and I would not change a thing and never do it again. So if you can make sense of feeling like you've been playing tennis for 20 years then maybe you will like kids. It's a yoyo of emotions and responsibilitys and that is before you add in another parent that may or may not being helping/hindering you.
Yes, was my experience. And she was a nice person, but I was the least important person to her in the world. The sex was good, but that was not enough.
Problem is so many women never correct the behavior of their children because they're "special". That's the signal to split, and that is almost always.
I have to say that if I was a single man with no kids I wouldn't even consider dating a single mom. If I had a kid too, though, and they were a compatable age and we were compatable in parenting styles....maaaaaybe. Her kids outnumbering mine is an incompatability in my mind. If I were a single man with no kids, was sterile and really wanted kids ...... that could be a possibility, I suppose. I hate to sound harsh, but I am sooooo with the guys on this one!
The sterile man thing, yep it happens. Yeah that is one off thing. Also the sterile woman thing happens to. I met a sweet girl, she would have boned me to death in college, but it would have been pointless. She had cancer and her cervix was cut out. So rather than breaking her heart just so I could get my rocks off, I decided to not date her. Overall not wanting to waste our time. Glad she shared the truth about her fertility. And no she was not lying, she missed school and everyone was rooting for her victory against cancer. See while women think all men are after sex, I argue all men have a sexual drive, some want to reproduce creating their own offspring and adoption would just not cut it if at all avoidable. In the end, using discernment, careful selection, I choose a great wife, gave me a ton of my own children. Sure people get offending by all sorts of things, but my life and I deserve a good life. Now I have a family and things are dam good. Men should not choose on hotness. Women should choose just on money either. A supportive wife can allow her husband to work more hours and make more money without hurting the family. I could explain, but in summary, together, working together it works out. Wife/God/Husband all stranded together is a strong rope!
Absolutely! A man doesn't need that kind of pressure on himself. I am a divorced mom of 3 "same father all 3" they are age 9, 10 and daughter 13. They are good kids. I met a dad after I divorced and we were together for 5 years... that had 3 kids of his own from 2 different woman... And they were slightly younger. It was so stressfull!!! We had a week on and a week off with them. But I am not looking around for anyone now and certainly wouldn't want them to be introduced to my kids. It helps I have a week on and a week off with their dad though as I love the 7 days free time 😁 it's difficult to love someone else's children. The dynamics are pretty fucked up!
never date a single mom for anything more than sex. This is especially true if you have daughters and she has sons near the same age. For example, if i have very attractive pre teen or teen daughters, I dont want my them being attracted or fooling around with the son of the woman Im with. I also dont want them being assaulted by a boy who is the son of the lady being physically threatening to them. No need to take that risk. No blended families or living together. The odds of meeting a single mom who is on your level financially(the money analysis is different when you are dating single moms as they are blood suckers wanting her and her kids to have the same life or better as yours. Her money is for her kid and her and your money is for everyone). This was a good video, well done.
@@zoedark7101 no reason for that. We as men can't get pregnant so we don't need to not have sex. Women are the ones who should be not having sex if they don't want to get pregnant
WARNING!! If you become attached to her kids and love them, the mother will not love you more or see any more value in you. She will see it as another tool to manipulate you. I learned that the hard way through a 4 year waste of time relationship.
Yes my cousin was with a woman with kids for many years. He raised and supported the kids and didn't have any of his own. He gave her his best years and gave up having kids. Of course she ended it after they finished school and left.
@@louelaine6539 Are you kidding me? Was he sterile or something? That situation sounds so bizarre. He wasted his youth raising another man’s kids instead of creating his own family? No wonder his single mom girlfriend treated him like the fool he was. She took him for a ride and dumped him after he was no longer of use.
You think adult kids just magically disappear? No they are still going to be around influencing their mother possibly talking shit about you behind your back, just avoid all single mothers all together
I'm so glad you talked about young girls being violated by males not of her bloodline. Also happens to young boys, too of course. So many parents don't take this into consideration. Single parents need to be even more cautious dating because of this and unfortunately there are people who are predatory to single parents in order to get close to the children.
Women pick in relationships, Women complain about who they pick, 80% of men are ignored. Women complain about the same 20% they are all chasing because they act a certain way, treat women a certain way but then they are upset with the result. It's not men who are violating women it's the same small percentage that has always existed and because 80% of men are invisible you think it's all men. I'm so tired of hearing about all the raping, patriach building I do in my spare time. I used to be sympathetic and try to show a better face, after 45+ years of hearing the same stuff come out of women. I'm over it, I'm joining the enemy. If I'm gonna be treated like the scumbags I point out and tell you to avoid but you think i'm playing a game to get in your pants, fine. I'll join his club, it's not hard I've been getting beat up by women my whole life for stuff I didn't do. I've got a deep basket of resentment ready to hand out. Want to stop being raped, stop dating rapist, want to not be abused, stop dating abusers. It's a type and here is the secret I'm gonna let you in on. Despite what you might say or think, if this is the guy you run into. You like that type. If you don't want to be around that guy, pick someone you would never date instead. Result might change...Omg!
Thanks for the advice. I wish this mgtow/red pill stuff was around when I was younger. I am 34 now, been married for 10 years, biggest regret of my life. I was ready to bail on the marriage years ago but now that I have a 6 yr old daughter, I fear my biggest regret would be leaving my wife and seeing my kid less. It's fucked when you look at marriage like a prison sentence but 12 more years and I'll be a free man again.
If the relationship is stressful for you and your daughter, bail. Go for custody/ joint custody. No sense being unhappy and fighting etc. Life is short.
Rachelle Fernandez A man who dates awful woman after awful woman and then comes to the conclusion that ALL women are the same before going on a self imposed relationship exils
Great way to put it. As for me, I would much rather travel days around the world to be with a virgin than only travel an hour across the state to be with a single mom.
Save-a-hoe game. Only way to win the game it not to play. This goes for married men cheating with a hoe and unmarried trying to LTR a hoe. Just gonna be screwed in the end!
This is such a fcuking nerd way to just say used pussy. You gotta actually have sex before this will ever be a problem for you to avoid. Learn to walk before you can jog.
I had a friend quit his job and removed his income (he kinda knew it was coming) so when she divorced him she got nothing because he had nothing. Went right back to being successful as soon as the judge closed the case.
Even other women are effected by single moms. When I was single and childless I dated a single dad for awhile but it turned bad pretty quick because of his ex. She was a nightmare and complicated things for us regularly from the beginning and I never even met their son. From that experience I decided to not date single dads. I also realized I wanted to share all the special firsts with having kids with someone. Now that I have kids, if I ever find myself single again (which after 15 years together I sincerely hope I don't), I would due to now having kids in common. And good point about children being molested in the home. It's a lot more common than most people realize.
Entrepreneurs in Cars how true but for every ex husband that is supposedly insane you can bet your ass the wife is making his life a legal hell when it comes to seeing his own kids.
Hey Rich, I just wanted to send you a thank you for all the time, effort & experience that you put into each of your videos. I went through a break-up 5 months ago and for awhile I kept scanning my memories trying to figure everything out. Thankfully after a few of your videos, I was already getting a Ton of accurate information which not only made common sense once I heard it, but everything that I have learned from your many videos has helped me to see the truth, feel more positive and to move forward. Thank you very much. -Jeremy
generally speaking , The fact that she would leave her children's father shows how little she really cares about her own children. Let that sink in. If you think she's gonna care about you... she doesn't even care to do whats best for her own children.
All the more reason to avoid her. Why did she pick him to have children with when there are 30+ methods of birth control out there? It's either AF/BB or she's a headcase too - like attracts like.
jean-pierre mercier if a woman was attracted to a man who is a head case what does that say about her?
7 лет назад+3
++FESTER--same thing for the woman. a probable head case with enough dysfunctional characteristics to be classified as a co-dependent type(or worse). two head cases together in a relationship don't cancel each other out, they only increase the potential for a relationship to go haywire. and until each side has faced and owned up to their character flaws, it will be "i married a nut case." or "i keep getting crazy women or crazy men" whatever the case may be. but we're not talking about improving the women here. once we, the men, have begun changing ourselves for the better, then we'll make better choices regarding the women in our lives, thereby eliminating the bad ones before even getting involved with them. if the chances are that you won't make it with a single mother or a woman from any other category, then stay the fuck away from them, pure and simple. just because she has an ass to die for, doesn't mean you should ignore the faults. that's where big-head thinking and logic come into play. men should really look at the difference between NEED and WANT. do you really need female love in your life? what is it you lack? approval? reinforcement? sex? constant reinforcement that you can get a woman? the feeling that you're useful? what i say to all men is that if you need love that much, start by learning to give it to yourself first. just to backtrack, most guys think they're faultless in relationships, " i did everything right" the 4th step in the AA(or any other A in the anonymous programs) requires sitting down with a mirror, a pen and paper, and enough honesty to list the positive and negative traits via introspection. then work to correct the flaws. things generally become clearer as you go. as rich says, you become a better version of yourself.
yea im a member of aa. i don't think i do everything right. I own my faults. my experience is that women across the board do not admit to being in the wrong... pretty much ever. and yea... i stay the hell away from them now. i'm fed up with it... interesting that you jump to the defense of a woman who leaves her children's father... that common societal attitude is probably why seeing a nuclear family sticking together is pretty much a thing of the past. we give the woman a pass saying the man is probably a *head case*. As if ripping her children away from their father is somehow a good thing. She can be a headcase too though. But thats different. Maybe society should stop white knighting women's shit decisions to leave their children's fathers in search of greener grass? Start teaching them to water the grass they stand on? We can talk female nature all day long... In some way are we not just giving them a pass then? *when its a woman its different* i mean for real... she guy apparently had it together enough for her to be willing to go to bed with him... not use birth control... knock her up... and then not abort... so even if the man is a head case... the woman had options... your mentality on this is so many men are writing of family/marriage all together. Its not ok. The woman made choices in the scenario which means SHE IS RESPONSIBLE. She has to be accountable for her own shitty choices. Giving her a pass does nothing to benefit her or other women. They just learn that they can make shit decision after shit decision and they can just run to a man to clean up the mess. I have no respect for it
Oh yes because people come up front with their mental disorders in a relationship. Heck I felt I found that good guy. Family and friends praised him on all his good qualities. About 6 months into the pregnancy the drinking increased and mild aggression started. Grabbing, locled in rooms etc. Baby was born and things became more physical. Being dragged about by the hair, phone broken for calling 911, child in car seat snatched grom my hands. I wasn't going to let my daughter witness her dad beating on me just so she could have the dysfunctional "family" experience. Now I can agree with your statement for some crazy ladies out there, but it's not always so black and white.
1 reason not to date or be in a r/ship with a single mother is u fall 7-10 in her life and she has to be #1 in urs let me xplain #1 she comes first #2 her kid(s) #3 her job/career #4 her mom #5 her sis/bro kid(s) #6 sis, bro, father (other fam members), #7 shopping #8 baby daddies #9 ur money #10 if she can pencil u in #11 pets (if they have any)
So happy my mother never dated anyone while raising me. She made sure to have a handful of positive male role models around but she was just a workaholic. Which came with its own cons. But I am happy I wasn't a little girl getting exposed to a mother constantly dating around or seeking validation from men. She was incredibly strong minded & disciplined. Anyway, I am still undecided on how I feel about single parents dating... I feel they need to be much more cautious than many of them are.
Little girls like bad boys, not grown women. You have to be able to tell the difference. A woman of value will be able to find a man of value. At least, that has been my personal experience. I do think it's funny tho when guys try and "act" like an a*hole or bad boy because they naturally assume that's what I like lol. Liars get exposed and removed from my life quickly.
Doctor Detroit I was recently watching a RUclipsr who posted up stats that the number one child abusers are actually single mothers, single mothers boyfriends, single mother and boyfriend, and a few others and biological fathers are actually low on the list. So you can say there is something of a problem of predators dating single moms, and those can be due to Mom's taste or moms ignorance, but the single mothers are also to blame themselves. Even saw a study that suggested around 90% both cases of incarcerated teens being molested where boys molested by women and the rest vice versa. Not saying any of this out of spite, but if those are truly the facts, it really shines a light on a false assumption
Ande A. I was widowed at 32 and brought my two girls up by myself after this. I figured we had all been through enough without me bringing a new man into the family home. They are grown up now but I sometimes wonder if they missed out on having a "father figure" around although my dad (a strong alpha male) and still happily married to my mum has had a huge presence in their lives. They have never mentioned anything but I'm glad I saw your comment, it confirms that I done the right thing.
Dating a single mother has cost me my stability. I was a fool. I left to protect my daughter from her aggressive tendencies. So much of what you said is true. She had two boys one daughter. It was bad all the way through
Thank you for your videos. It is really appreciated. I have custody of my 2 daughters and it can be tricky on who to date. I just broke up with a single mom and she had more kids than me and was a legitimate financial drain on me. And if she is a drain on me she is a drain on what should be going to my kids. Keep pushing out these vid!
more and more men are getting custody and raising children on their own. I did it , and I did it well. Your accusations ,calling somone is a lier is probably just your view of yourself perhaps. Never the less at least my two daughters know what a good man is and have fidured out ON THIER OWN what a piece of shit their mother is, they are 22 and 23 now and we just spent a wonderfull easter together.
Thank you for including the safety of daughters in your video. As a divorced mom of three daughters, it was always a red flag when a guy I was dating wanted to get know them. I gave up trying to find a guy who was okay keeping that part of my life separate. It wasn’t worth the risk.
Reverse hypergamy is the only situation where this makes sense. Fuck that shit about her taking me to the cleaners. Bitch I'm taking YOU to the cleaners. Your money is our money and my money is my money lol.
I married a single mother 17 years ago...it wasn't all.peaches and cream... her son had some issues... but it all worked out. She was a flight attendant at the time. She had to leave her job because it wouldn't have worked out. All in all I would do it again. She is an angel wrapped in skin. Sex is better now than in the beginning.
"The juice isn't worth the squeeze" totally using that one bud! Thanks for these videos....cleared a lot of shit up.....I was destroyed in a divorce thinking "I was doing right by my kids, and feeling sorry for me ex"....lived to confirm, your wisdom needs to be heeded early on by men collectively!
Love what you're saying, I have four teen age daughters and the whole males not of the same bloodline has crossed my mind several times and caused me to say away from certain situations.
I have three young teen girls as well I am scared to get into a relationship with just anyone their well-being is very important and as parents we need to protect them at all costs👍
As a single, childless woman, I primarily have avoided single dads b/c too often their babymamas are a nightmare. Single moms are territorial regarding their kids & often treat the new gf terribly. Sadly, I think childless men should avoid single moms at all costs. My younger brother started dating a 24yr old with 3 kids by 2 men. I tried so hard to steer him correctly. He didn't listen & knocked her up. She is a stereotypical single mom & has been physically violent with my brother. He still didn't leave. Now he has DV charges that are pending. I know it's anecdotal, but I have seen how my brother's life has suffered just b/c he entertained her. Don't even sleep with these women. It's too big of a risk. Just my 2 cents.
She had unhealed trama and a lot of single mothers are like this because most of the time it is the past that keeps them either mad at the world or just victimized by everybody mindset I know this personally and I think all single parents should get therapy before stepping into another relationship or wait until the kids are grown and i do think two childless people should date and single parents should date each other but it is really up to that person and what they can handle 😊
I'm a rational sister and I LOVE your content. I share it with future brothers from another mother. The only thing I'd change is the pronunciation of Hypergamy. Gamy is related to marriage. It's pronounced like monogamy, polygamy, etc. Keep it up. Peace.
Here's something you left out. Dating a single mom often means you will be competing with her kids for her attention and time. They will win. If her kid is female that brings a whole encyclopedia of drama into the mix. How far will the girl go to win the battle for her mom? You would be shocked how far. I sure was.
I married a single mother. Worked pretty well for about 7 years and then we just grew in totally different directions. There were plenty of red flags that she wasn't, at her core, as represented at first. Missed 'em. Shit Happens. The biggest difference is that I would have continued to work on it despite our differences and she was just a quitter. Bottom line? I was husband number two and should have seen that "quit" coming.
Ashamed to admit I was thinking of marrying mine, got on quite well with the kids although they were a headache. 4 years and she quit on me too, we argued over money and it would 80% of the time be me paying for things. Got fed up in the end and had to say something, she left me there and then.
"date and dump em"...... and men nowadays wonder why so many women have so little respect for you. everyone reaps what they sow in the 'kill or be killed game'.
You mentioned how if you wont to commit to LTR they leave. I was seeing a single mom for a while and wanted to take things slow but she kept pushing for a title and something more serious even though her divorce wasn't even finalized yet. When I wouldn't budge she bounced quickly just like Richard said they're looking to be taken care of.
Dating a single mother would be like having a track session in a a race car with bald tires(which you can't change).. each tire representing each kid. Avoid, avoid, avoid
Look Brother, The biggest problem I had when I was dating a single Mom was she had two daughters of breeding age (14, 15), who were constantly trying to take Mommy's place. Needless to say I got the F*¢k out of there.
As I was reading the comments I was taken aback by the lack of these types of experiences... of course most daughters have developed some kind of daddy issues at that point and could start acting weird around male strangers coming to their house... plain awful, at least you had the decency to walk away from that.
EDIT: POINT 5... if there is an ex parent still in the picture with shared custody, make sure they aren't insane... the drama that follows won't be worth it. Leave a comment below, with any tips you may have and show this to someone that needs to see it. If you are stuck on something in life, book my time here: clarity.fm/richardcooper Other links below: I've had requests to do a video on situations when it might be ideal to date a single mum. I could only think of these ones below: 1. You have a kid(s) the same age AND get along AND you have the same number of kids 2. No risk of males violating each females 3. You already live local to one another 4. When reverse hypergamy works, never date down with a single mother the risk is too high How You Can Support My Work PayPal Donation: www.paypal.me/RichardCooperCA Become a Patreon: www.patreon.com/Entrepreneurs... Get 1 on 1 Coaching With Me: clarity.fm/richardcooper Get a Video Response: www.reach.me/RichardCooper Social Links: Facebook Page: facebook.com/Entreprenurs... Twitter! twitter.com/Rich_Cooper Instagram! instagram.com/entrepreneu... FAQs That thing on my wall: www.youtube.com/watch?v=nD4cd... What I do for a living: www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAJDu... Must Reads For All Men: Sex At Dawn: amzn.to/2pU1L4v The Rational Male: amzn.to/2i9dfjW Bachelor Pad Economics: amzn.to/2kNP7UG The Way of Men: amzn.to/2kLFB1p Mating in Captivity: amzn.to/2skraEV
There are simply way too many pressures coming from every direction in this modern era to have successful long term relationships. (Generally). Less people are marrying and the ones that do will probably be divorced before their tenth anniversary.
a womans point of view - its not in any way worth it - you cant raise their child you will wind up feeling like a outsider at home and wont mean much more to her then resorces theres a reason shes single
That's right. Thanks for being honest. Men will never be loved how they should be in that situation and someone needs to tell them. Its ALWAYS about her and her kids.
I have two boys and dated a guy with a daughter. It was a similar situation to what you’re describing. I never let the boys be alone with her and we had multiple conversations about appropriate and inappropriate behavior. With that being said, not all single moms see men as resource. Quite often it’s the other way around. I have a good job and am perfectly capable of taking care of myself without any outside financial help. I was often the one buying stuff for his daughter, doing activities that she liked, and she and I grew very close. She loved the boys as well. The problem is, I was seen as a resource. Not just financial but I could take care of house, home, and his daughter. Although he made more money than I did, I more than pulled my own weight. The biggest issue is that he, his daughter, and my boys were in constant competition for my love and affection. I got so overwhelmed with caring for everyone. It didn’t work out. I loved them dearly and always will, but it’s wrong to assume that the Mom is just after a man for resources. That’s quite often not true at all.
Was in a great relationship. She just stopped making time. She had two kids, I have none. Find out later from her best friend "you bring it all to the table but you make less than her". Wasted two years.
Depends - if you come from a single-parent upbringing you understand how single parenting works. If you do not come from a single-parent home - you'll struggle.
I think age is also a consideration. If you 25, do not do it. I did it when I was in my late 20's and it was a huge mistake. If your 50, maybe the kids left the house or if the girlfriend is younger and in the mid to late 30's her children will be younger. As people get older it is less likely to find women who is not divorced, have kids or some sort of relationship baggage. For me it was always about two things dating single mothers. 1. do I really like the women to deal with the baggage. Is the juice worth the squeeze. This is very important to figure out early before you get in too deep. 2. Is the woman a good mother. Surprising, how many women there social life comes before their own children. RUN away from these crazy women. The reality of the situation is that her children come first. A good mothers kids will be well behaved and doing well in school. A good mother realize their kids comes before themselves. A good women will recognize they have baggage and will find ways to make up for you understanding and patience of the guy. If they think they do not, Run Away. Remember you are dating the women not the kids. You do not want to be in a situation where you care more about the kids than the woman. It is not fair to both of them. A good mother would not introduce you to her kids on the first date. They should be very selective on who they bring into their family. You should not be sleeping over their when the kids are there. Not good for the kids to see a merry go round of men in the mothers bedroom. If you date a single mother realize if you break up you will be breaking up with the whole family including the children. This will magnify the breakup. Be careful of getting into deep to fast. For me always thought single women craved stability in their life, the man figure. The problem is her kids are not your kids, so parenting is another hurdle you have to deal with when you get in deep. From the quote from Jerry Maguire "A single woman has been to the circus, been to the puppet show and seen the strings. You have to be fair to her. Single mother is a sacred thing. A real man does not Shoplift The Pootie from a single mother". Are all of these headaches worth it, is the Juice Worth the Squeeze.
It always comes down to #1.) Is the Juice worth the squeeze? Most of the time is it not. There may be select situations where it can work out, but you have to weigh pros and cons always. There are so many single mothers out there for a reason. The dating market is saturated with them.
Even if the kids are grown and left the house now you’ll have to deal with grand kids that aren’t yours. Nope hard pass. Never date a single mother under any circumstance.
Step fathers are a huge factor in children being assaulted! I am an ER nurse, most children of single mothers are sexually abused or beaten by mommy’s new boyfriend
Mike Osborn Well done Mike. You are a lucky bugger. I would argue it’s harder these days for a whole lot of reasons. Doesn’t take away from your success, but??
This is what I want for me. My girlfriend has a 7 years old, and so far her having a kid hasn't been an issue at all. She dedicates at lot of time to me. Since I knew a lot about red pill before dating her, I was with the mindset that I will only take her seriously as long as she gave me my place, and she's doing that.
Never date single mothers. You will always be second and will always have all the responsibilities,none of the authority. Tom Leykis has elaborated on it far better than I ever could. All hail the professor!
I can think of a scenario. The year is 2097, after the apocalypse. While crawling through the radioactive rubble looking for anything you can eat you see an absolute bomb shell of a hottie naked and tied to a wooden post being tormented by a pack of mutant morlocks. You kill the morlocks with your death ray blaster, rescue the hottie, and figure out this is pretty much the last woman on Earth. She introduces you to her now just turned 18 year old daughter and you keep them both as wives. Under this circumstance you may feel justified in beginning an LTR. Failing this - never date a single mother as they are cancer.
I was molested as a child it fucked me up! I also grew up in a blended family and I honestly don't like it. I hate splitting my time during the holidays.
Rule 1. Near 50/50 custody with their ex. Rule 2. Doesn't bag their ex. Rule 3. Doesn't need third party support (Ie child support, govt assistance etc) Rule 4. Ensures kids treat me with respect Haven't met one yet but those are my rules
Dangerous material, but you handled it so well. Thanks.
7 лет назад+2
hi rich, even if i'm not in the dating/relationship game etc, i tend towards MGTOW at 62, i still enjoy the relationship content whether for 20s or older. maybe just because i want to keep up with what the boys are up against in wonderland. you aren't full of hate, anger, and frustration like some of the MGTOW on YT are. plus you don't insult or rail against the MGTOW too much for the choices they make. all in all, it looks a real jungle out there in certain age groups, with all of the juggling and complications. just for a commodity that has a tendency to be over-valued anyway.
All Im going to say is whoaa!! Guys fall in love with someone that will love you back. Reciprocation is the goal. Some of you guys sound like you lost your mind, because if you love someone you will work it out. Never let someone discourage you away from being genuinely loved. That's a rare experience in this life.
If you wanted kids and have them then listen to this coach, not me, he is spot on. When both are poor you end up needing your partner for survival... but she wants to do better if he comes around unless bound by faith structures...those days are gone unless middle eastern. When your self made and she's not she looks at you like a king but then resents you for being so in the end unless you bend the knee or pay up. If she is self made and you are not then you must be very good looking indeed and are getting used. When both are self made compromises are difficult as you're both use to leading the way and getting what you want when you want it. Wouldn't it be nice to have a relationship with thought and compassion without any baggage in the end? No kids, agreed prenups, separate shared houses, even steven with play money/expenses, and monogamy. The planet will thank you for not procreating idiots anymore.
Great points... especially, the one about non-blood related household members. I'm always concerned for the children when I hear a single mother tell me she's excited to have her new boyfriend move in with her. (First red flag: He's moving in with HER...) Another situation where it would be 'ok' to possibly date a single mother: If her children are grown and moved out of her house. In my experience, IF her children are adults AND not living with her, it seems to go pretty well. She is obviously independent and has probably done her job well enough to say she's a decent mother. If her adult children are still living with her, no matter the excuse, it's a red flag that there are some major problems in her family dynamics.
Brother. Spot on about women who were violated in a blended family. While dating I met many women who went through this sort of thing. Very common. I now have a little girl and wouldn't even consider dating a woman who has a boy. Little boys reaching puberty do not have the self control and experience to not resist these new urges they are challenged with. I also have two boys and I wouldn't consider dating a woman who has a little girl. I would not set them up to do something stupid. Protect what is yours.
Dating a single mother is very difficult. Especially if she or the kids have a relationship with their fathers which they should. It's a threesome type of situation. You'll never have her to yourself, you'll have to share her time. You can give all of you but you'll have to be happy with a portion of her. It's only fair for her to go to family events on the child's fathers side and bring the children, the ex will be at birthday parties, graduations,possibly sporting events (school events), weddings and all. After a while it gets tiring and you'll eventually feel like a lame. You're paying for majority of the childcare as the ex smiles at you cause he got the goods and walked away as you play cleanup man. Nothing like supporting a kid as they talk about his/her 'real father '. God forbid the father is a bum type dude, it'll get you that she (the mother)expects 5 star treatment for her kids as the biological dad did nothing but release in her. Now you're a sucker..lol If you don't mind cleaning toilets at a truckstop being a step dad is kinda the same situation.
Ive dated 3 single moms. One was great caretaker and made time for everyone. Second one's baby's dad killed his mom and his grandmom when we were dating. That was incredibly stressful, never forget that call. He's in prison now of course. The other one had a lot of drama with ex which sucked really bad. All of the kid's dads hated me. U have no kids of my own. Needless to say it didnt work out longterm, u can get a few yrs out of it if u want
In regards to the question poised by the title, in one word: NEVER EVER! Ok, I lied when I stated the answer would be only one word. But getting past the fact that I lied, will be considerably easier than getting past the mistake of getting into an LTR with a single mom.
Hi Rich I'm binge-watching men need to be very aware if they're dating a single mother that has daughters that false accusations are not made against the man if the daughter gets upset she can use that situation against the man men need to be very very careful
I was engaged to a single mother of 3 & had a son with her. He is great but she was not; I’m a single dad & put my son first before any women I date. I do not do the manipulation part with women but take heed brothers; if they act super agreeable for 5-7 months than it will come back to my way or the highway soon after. If you’re a single dude do not date a single mother ever just keep your life simple guys.
HOLLY $#!T!!! THATS A THING?!?! O.o?!?! I would of never thought you can potentially pay child support for kids that aren't yours D: does that also apply if you divorced and never have kids with her? :(
I made the mistake once, never again. People who don't have kids simply don't understand that kids require effort. Honestly, they think it's going to be like taking care of their dog or cat, and maybe a bit more, or possibly that the single parent will do all the work. Nope, you pick up all that slack, or pick up all the emotional consequences of not doing so. The only acceptable answer I can see is if you're a single father with more kids than the single mother you're dating, and your kids are the older kids... and I think she'd have to be a widow... and believe in non aggression toward children.... and respect her family and children... It's pretty slim pickings there.
If you're not into having a family, and take precautions to make sure you don't bring children into this world, it's NEVER a good time for an LTR with a single mother...
The risk has nothing to do with the bloodline. It is more important of the children being raised together at a young age. There is a phenomenon for estranged bloodline family members having sex. It's not called incest. There is a term for the specific situation. There are cases of brothers and sisters separated at birth, unknowing meeting each other, and having an instant attraction. Sometimes they even end up married. They have no idea they are related, but they find out later.
Had a single mom bail on our date tonight..... half hour b4 our date she TEXTED me.... didn't call.... that she "had a family emergency" ya.. ok.... going to put dating off for awhile.
Im a single mom of 3!!! I watched your content for sometime and I myself for sure thought I’d never be a single mom and unfortunately the stuff this guy says is true the majority of single moms have this mentality. I have 2 brothers and would warn them about this kinda stuff. Until I become a single mom the stigma kinda stings now but it’s true unfortunately for the majority of single women. Our focus needs to be on our children now and not finding a man.
Did you get married?
@@LS-im6uc no, I never married the father of my children, we were very young when we got together and started our family. Unfortunately we didn’t have role models around us as we both came from parents who were separated or never married and I was too young to be having kids or to understand what kind of future was in store for me. There were a lot of problems that either we worked through to stay together for the 14 years that we did. But unfortunately there was bitterness and other people involved that there was no way we could even start to work things out. The two have to be willing and it can’t just be one sided.
@@carolt403 until recently I was actually dating a lady she is 40 with 3 kids and it was a challenge she also came from. Broken home and she picked a guy that left her with debt a home that was in bad shape.
I came with the best intentions paid the bills became a father figure to kids fix as much I can fix and do chores that need it to be done and all of those things were in vain I'm not saying she bad she is good mom but always with money problems from the past and always daddy issues with the kids.
And the end she just said I love you but no in love with you I guess it was not enough so I left never to look back and never heard from her best decision I ever made not to look back.
Please don't think I was an angel I did messed up but with consuling and therapy we could have overcame it.
Good luck wish you the best.
@@jorgeriera3337 wow that’s tough. I always made sure I was good just in case regarding my education, my money in case he ever decided to leave. So after he left, I was able to save more money he would always buy guns with our savings and I avoided conflict and wouldn’t like to fight about money. But I was able to purchase my first house and I never had debt. So I just have my mortgage now 🙏. I’m 30 and I know that if I ever decided to be with anyone he would have to have similar money management and good job stability but that would mean he would be a higher quality guy which should probably go for a young childless women. So I’d rather not even focus on that honestly I was in hell for the majority of that relationship and it wasn’t good for our kids and I’m at peace being alone. My kids keep me busy and I’ve never been a party girl or very outgoing. I love doing really (what most people would consider) boring things like reading, studying, expanding my knowledge in all sorts of topics. I haven’t watched tv in God knows how long 😂; some comedy here and there. But definitely my priorities are different and I’ll be in my early 40’s when my kids are adults so I’m okay with my situation. I think it’s all mental. I hope you the best and I definitely think each person that enters our life teaches us something. Sometimes it teaches you not to date single moms 😂 but I get it no hard feelings.
Hey Carol good morning
I hope you are well wow I'm really glad you moved forward and found happiness with the situation of guns that's very dangerous especially around kids and you seem very center and you were able to move forward for not only your sake but the sake of your kids.
And let me rephrase that I would not say never but more of if I do it again I would do it someone who has their stuff in order and bring happiness to not only the couple but the children as well.
Have a great day
Women with kids are not ideal for unmarried men with no kids. Women with kids should look for guys with kids. Remember, marriage doesn't benefit men at all in the United States.
William, i have a kid but he doesn't live with me so it's not the same!
Thanks for the advice. 14 years too late
@@mr.puddintater1805o you're advice to a man who has kids (most likely cut in half by divorce) go and get chopped into fourths?
Marriage never benefits men in the globe.. not just west
You are EXACTLY right. If a man has kids he should be open to dating a woman with kids. All the arguments Rich makes against dating a single mom seem to apply equally to single dads.
Married a single mother. JUST SAY NO!!! Made the mistake of moving because I was "Captain Saveahoe" this had a crippling effect on my kids. I needed this video a decade ago...
Same here
Same here. Married a mother of one and we had one of our own. She showed her true colors towards the end of our marriage. She had a favorite son and didn't give two shits about me or our son. She came sniffing around shortly before she got remarried after 6 years of ghosting us. I told my son to tread carefully but I want nothing to do with her. Now he keeps her at arm's length. She can't be trusted.
I’m staying single. I don’t have kids so life will be easy. You bring up very valid points my man. You just convinced me that it’s okay to die alone. I’m better off.
We all die alone anyway, there's noone going with us
better is subjective but you will have more money, less stress and most likely never have to worry about what you own/where you live. Spouse/kids will change all that. I would not have kids to save my life but I would not give up the kids I have to save my life either. It was a combination of the best and worst things in my life and I would not change a thing and never do it again. So if you can make sense of feeling like you've been playing tennis for 20 years then maybe you will like kids. It's a yoyo of emotions and responsibilitys and that is before you add in another parent that may or may not being helping/hindering you.
If a dude hooks up with a woman with children he will always ,always be on the outside looking in !!
Yes!
Yes, was my experience. And she was a nice person, but I was the least important person to her in the world. The sex was good, but that was not enough.
Agreed. I have just been involved in that situation and I always felt like an outsider. It was all about her and her kids, no ROI.
Cher summed it up perfectly with that one line she says to Bob Hoskins in the fillm Mermaids: "It's just YOU, Lou; me and the girls - that's US!"
Answer...never
Problem is so many women never correct the behavior of their children because they're "special". That's the signal to split, and that is almost always.
Joe Jones Everyone thinks their child is gifted.
Don't forget if she calls her daughter "princess" that's code for run for your life!
Yeah one I dated her son was a “gamechanger” in other words was never disciplined
I have to say that if I was a single man with no kids I wouldn't even consider dating a single mom. If I had a kid too, though, and they were a compatable age and we were compatable in parenting styles....maaaaaybe. Her kids outnumbering mine is an incompatability in my mind. If I were a single man with no kids, was sterile and really wanted kids ...... that could be a possibility, I suppose. I hate to sound harsh, but I am sooooo with the guys on this one!
Respect!
The sterile man thing, yep it happens. Yeah that is one off thing. Also the sterile woman thing happens to. I met a sweet girl, she would have boned me to death in college, but it would have been pointless. She had cancer and her cervix was cut out. So rather than breaking her heart just so I could get my rocks off, I decided to not date her. Overall not wanting to waste our time. Glad she shared the truth about her fertility. And no she was not lying, she missed school and everyone was rooting for her victory against cancer. See while women think all men are after sex, I argue all men have a sexual drive, some want to reproduce creating their own offspring and adoption would just not cut it if at all avoidable. In the end, using discernment, careful selection, I choose a great wife, gave me a ton of my own children. Sure people get offending by all sorts of things, but my life and I deserve a good life. Now I have a family and things are dam good. Men should not choose on hotness. Women should choose just on money either. A supportive wife can allow her husband to work more hours and make more money without hurting the family. I could explain, but in summary, together, working together it works out. Wife/God/Husband all stranded together is a strong rope!
Charles Granata Great story I’m glad to hear it it gives me hope
Absolutely! A man doesn't need that kind of pressure on himself. I am a divorced mom of 3 "same father all 3" they are age 9, 10 and daughter 13. They are good kids. I met a dad after I divorced and we were together for 5 years... that had 3 kids of his own from 2 different woman... And they were slightly younger. It was so stressfull!!! We had a week on and a week off with them. But I am not looking around for anyone now and certainly wouldn't want them to be introduced to my kids. It helps I have a week on and a week off with their dad though as I love the 7 days free time 😁 it's difficult to love someone else's children. The dynamics are pretty fucked up!
I have to say you are clear-sighted, unlike most women.
never date a single mom for anything more than sex. This is especially true if you have daughters and she has sons near the same age. For example, if i have very attractive pre teen or teen daughters, I dont want my them being attracted or fooling around with the son of the woman Im with. I also dont want them being assaulted by a boy who is the son of the lady being physically threatening to them. No need to take that risk. No blended families or living together. The odds of meeting a single mom who is on your level financially(the money analysis is different when you are dating single moms as they are blood suckers wanting her and her kids to have the same life or better as yours. Her money is for her kid and her and your money is for everyone). This was a good video, well done.
Or just don't have sex
@@zoedark7101 no reason for that. We as men can't get pregnant so we don't need to not have sex. Women are the ones who should be not having sex if they don't want to get pregnant
If all her kids are grown, gone and she's still somewhat good looking... Nevermind.
Prince Revolver PR - thanks for that I needed a laugh. A rarity when reading comments sections!
ONLY if her kids are highly stable and in good relationships/jobs themselves or you STILL could end up with them, or their kids living under your roof
Yes!! Thanks for mentioning protecting your daughters no matter who it is!
WARNING!! If you become attached to her kids and love them, the mother will not love you more or see any more value in you. She will see it as another tool to manipulate you. I learned that the hard way through a 4 year waste of time relationship.
Yes my cousin was with a woman with kids for many years. He raised and supported the kids and didn't have any of his own. He gave her his best years and gave up having kids. Of course she ended it after they finished school and left.
@@louelaine6539 Are you kidding me? Was he sterile or something? That situation sounds so bizarre. He wasted his youth raising another man’s kids instead of creating his own family? No wonder his single mom girlfriend treated him like the fool he was. She took him for a ride and dumped him after he was no longer of use.
@@misscamara12 He's just a very nice guy from a very nice family and he's still young, he's early 40's . Better off now
@@louelaine6539 Nice guys finish last.
When to date single mothers? When the kids are grown and out the house.
Anything short of that.. you're wasting time and 💰
So yea at the least you’re looking at dating a 36+ y/o chick. Gross and dumb, go find a 20 to 26 y/o with no baggage fellas.
You think adult kids just magically disappear? No they are still going to be around influencing their mother possibly talking shit about you behind your back, just avoid all single mothers all together
@@MrJimmy3459 Totally agree - unless they have a rack like the mom in the thumb for this video!
@@MrJimmy3459 Correct
Not really! in this generation most adult kids will still rely on their mothers to take care of the grandchildren.
I'm so glad you talked about young girls being violated by males not of her bloodline. Also happens to young boys, too of course. So many parents don't take this into consideration. Single parents need to be even more cautious dating because of this and unfortunately there are people who are predatory to single parents in order to get close to the children.
Women pick in relationships, Women complain about who they pick, 80% of men are ignored. Women complain about the same 20% they are all chasing because they act a certain way, treat women a certain way but then they are upset with the result. It's not men who are violating women it's the same small percentage that has always existed and because 80% of men are invisible you think it's all men. I'm so tired of hearing about all the raping, patriach building I do in my spare time. I used to be sympathetic and try to show a better face, after 45+ years of hearing the same stuff come out of women. I'm over it, I'm joining the enemy. If I'm gonna be treated like the scumbags I point out and tell you to avoid but you think i'm playing a game to get in your pants, fine. I'll join his club, it's not hard I've been getting beat up by women my whole life for stuff I didn't do. I've got a deep basket of resentment ready to hand out. Want to stop being raped, stop dating rapist, want to not be abused, stop dating abusers. It's a type and here is the secret I'm gonna let you in on. Despite what you might say or think, if this is the guy you run into. You like that type. If you don't want to be around that guy, pick someone you would never date instead. Result might change...Omg!
@@robertstutesman7764 perfectly said... even my hometown in racist, misandrist Australia!!!
Dating single mothers is like being left with the crust after everybody already ate the pizza.
Kings County Kid that's a great analogy 💯
Single mothers and pizza? Nooo, horrible comparison!!
Be player, remember what single moms can offer, do not bond for fall in love, simple!
Right!
Pump and dump
Thanks for the advice. I wish this mgtow/red pill stuff was around when I was younger. I am 34 now, been married for 10 years, biggest regret of my life. I was ready to bail on the marriage years ago but now that I have a 6 yr old daughter, I fear my biggest regret would be leaving my wife and seeing my kid less. It's fucked when you look at marriage like a prison sentence but 12 more years and I'll be a free man again.
Redness 19 be strong, bro. I feel for you. Hope it gets better. Look after yourself. Cheers.
If the relationship is stressful for you and your daughter, bail. Go for custody/ joint custody. No sense being unhappy and fighting etc. Life is short.
Redness 19 good luck buddy. You can do it.
Rachelle Fernandez A man who dates awful woman after awful woman and then comes to the conclusion that ALL women are the same before going on a self imposed relationship exils
Im in the same boat brother. Just remember, shes gonna take your money anyways, the difference is you get to tuck your child in every night.
great vid. I was dating a single mother. An hour drive between us . it became taxing on the body, not including she never reciprocated.
Great way to put it. As for me, I would much rather travel days around the world to be with a virgin than only travel an hour across the state to be with a single mom.
Dating women with kids is like playing a savegame of someone else.
Alexander K. I like this analogy
the only way I'd ever consider using someone else's save, is if I got really far along and lost my own save.
As a gamer this made me laugh so hard. Well played sir. I needed this kind of laugh with what I've been going through.
Save-a-hoe game. Only way to win the game it not to play.
This goes for married men cheating with a hoe and unmarried trying to LTR a hoe.
Just gonna be screwed in the end!
This is such a fcuking nerd way to just say used pussy. You gotta actually have sex before this will ever be a problem for you to avoid. Learn to walk before you can jog.
answer is NEVER. never date a single mom , period ....
I had to learn this lesson the hard way but really glad I learned it, I would rather go full MGTOW than date another single mom
No intelligent man would ever entertain a LTR with a single mother. PERIOD.
I had a friend quit his job and removed his income (he kinda knew it was coming) so when she divorced him she got nothing because he had nothing. Went right back to being successful as soon as the judge closed the case.
Good one!
That’s a good one
Leykis 101. Never date a single mother.
The professor never lied.
There is a good reason why single mom is a single.
Am single and have dated single mothers, it's a hard thing to do. Rather if you are single look for a woman without kids.
Nikolay has it spot on, you attract what you are, there is no other way it works.
You can't attract what you are not.
Even other women are effected by single moms. When I was single and childless I dated a single dad for awhile but it turned bad pretty quick because of his ex. She was a nightmare and complicated things for us regularly from the beginning and I never even met their son. From that experience I decided to not date single dads. I also realized I wanted to share all the special firsts with having kids with someone. Now that I have kids, if I ever find myself single again (which after 15 years together I sincerely hope I don't), I would due to now having kids in common.
And good point about children being molested in the home. It's a lot more common than most people realize.
Forgot to mention that... they gotta have a sane ex, otherwise it's too exhausting to deal with the drama all the time.
Entrepreneurs in Cars how true but for every ex husband that is supposedly insane you can bet your ass the wife is making his life a legal hell when it comes to seeing his own kids.
Hey Rich, I just wanted to send you a thank you for all the time, effort & experience that you put into each of your videos. I went through a break-up 5 months ago and for awhile I kept scanning my memories trying to figure everything out. Thankfully after a few of your videos, I was already getting a Ton of accurate information which not only made common sense once I heard it, but everything that I have learned from your many videos has helped me to see the truth, feel more positive and to move forward. Thank you very much. -Jeremy
Good advice for both men and women! Thumbs up.
who wants someone's left overs? To deal with the ex. no thanks.
I would rather go for a never married, no kids, six than a ten with kids
Zeus Valentine - you dont want another mans half eaten rotten fruit.
@Lewis C. I agree and is there really a such thing as a 10 worth kids. I mean she has physically changed in some ways just by having kids.
generally speaking , The fact that she would leave her children's father shows how little she really cares about her own children. Let that sink in. If you think she's gonna care about you... she doesn't even care to do whats best for her own children.
All the more reason to avoid her. Why did she pick him to have children with when there are 30+ methods of birth control out there? It's either AF/BB or she's a headcase too - like attracts like.
jean-pierre mercier if a woman was attracted to a man who is a head case what does that say about her?
++FESTER--same thing for the woman. a probable head case with enough dysfunctional characteristics to be classified as a co-dependent type(or worse). two head cases together in a relationship don't cancel each other out, they only increase the potential for a relationship to go haywire. and until each side has faced and owned up to their character flaws, it will be "i married a nut case." or "i keep getting crazy women or crazy men" whatever the case may be. but we're not talking about improving the women here. once we, the men, have begun changing ourselves for the better, then we'll make better choices regarding the women in our lives, thereby eliminating the bad ones before even getting involved with them. if the chances are that you won't make it with a single mother or a woman from any other category, then stay the fuck away from them, pure and simple. just because she has an ass to die for, doesn't mean you should ignore the faults. that's where big-head thinking and logic come into play. men should really look at the difference between NEED and WANT. do you really need female love in your life? what is it you lack? approval? reinforcement? sex? constant reinforcement that you can get a woman? the feeling that you're useful? what i say to all men is that if you need love that much, start by learning to give it to yourself first. just to backtrack, most guys think they're faultless in relationships, " i did everything right" the 4th step in the AA(or any other A in the anonymous programs) requires sitting down with a mirror, a pen and paper, and enough honesty to list the positive and negative traits via introspection. then work to correct the flaws. things generally become clearer as you go. as rich says, you become a better version of yourself.
yea im a member of aa. i don't think i do everything right. I own my faults. my experience is that women across the board do not admit to being in the wrong... pretty much ever. and yea... i stay the hell away from them now. i'm fed up with it... interesting that you jump to the defense of a woman who leaves her children's father... that common societal attitude is probably why seeing a nuclear family sticking together is pretty much a thing of the past. we give the woman a pass saying the man is probably a *head case*. As if ripping her children away from their father is somehow a good thing. She can be a headcase too though. But thats different.
Maybe society should stop white knighting women's shit decisions to leave their children's fathers in search of greener grass? Start teaching them to water the grass they stand on? We can talk female nature all day long... In some way are we not just giving them a pass then?
*when its a woman its different*
i mean for real... she guy apparently had it together enough for her to be willing to go to bed with him... not use birth control... knock her up... and then not abort... so even if the man is a head case... the woman had options... your mentality on this is so many men are writing of family/marriage all together. Its not ok. The woman made choices in the scenario which means SHE IS RESPONSIBLE. She has to be accountable for her own shitty choices. Giving her a pass does nothing to benefit her or other women. They just learn that they can make shit decision after shit decision and they can just run to a man to clean up the mess. I have no respect for it
Oh yes because people come up front with their mental disorders in a relationship. Heck I felt I found that good guy. Family and friends praised him on all his good qualities. About 6 months into the pregnancy the drinking increased and mild aggression started. Grabbing, locled in rooms etc. Baby was born and things became more physical. Being dragged about by the hair, phone broken for calling 911, child in car seat snatched grom my hands. I wasn't going to let my daughter witness her dad beating on me just so she could have the dysfunctional "family" experience. Now I can agree with your statement for some crazy ladies out there, but it's not always so black and white.
1 reason not to date or be in a r/ship with a single mother is u fall 7-10 in her life and she has to be #1 in urs let me xplain #1 she comes first #2 her kid(s) #3 her job/career #4 her mom #5 her sis/bro kid(s) #6 sis, bro, father (other fam members), #7 shopping #8 baby daddies #9 ur money #10 if she can pencil u in #11 pets (if they have any)
Lol. This exact conversation just happened to me, to a tee. Dead last on the list ;)
Ha! So damn true! That's why if I'm not #1 on her list, she's not #1 on mine.
True
Brutal honesty
Single guy here with no kids and I learned a lot from this video. Keep up the good work Rich.
So happy my mother never dated anyone while raising me. She made sure to have a handful of positive male role models around but she was just a workaholic. Which came with its own cons. But I am happy I wasn't a little girl getting exposed to a mother constantly dating around or seeking validation from men. She was incredibly strong minded & disciplined. Anyway, I am still undecided on how I feel about single parents dating... I feel they need to be much more cautious than many of them are.
Little girls like bad boys, not grown women. You have to be able to tell the difference. A woman of value will be able to find a man of value. At least, that has been my personal experience. I do think it's funny tho when guys try and "act" like an a*hole or bad boy because they naturally assume that's what I like lol. Liars get exposed and removed from my life quickly.
Doctor Detroit
I was recently watching a RUclipsr who posted up stats that the number one child abusers are actually single mothers, single mothers boyfriends, single mother and boyfriend, and a few others and biological fathers are actually low on the list.
So you can say there is something of a problem of predators dating single moms, and those can be due to Mom's taste or moms ignorance, but the single mothers are also to blame themselves.
Even saw a study that suggested around 90% both cases of incarcerated teens being molested where boys molested by women and the rest vice versa.
Not saying any of this out of spite, but if those are truly the facts, it really shines a light on a false assumption
"Handful of Positive Male role models" Translated: A circle of pump and dump chads she never let you see.
^ This lmfao. Your mom got railed in the utmost secrecy. You're only grateful to have never been disgusted to find out about it. LOOOOOOOL
Ande A. I was widowed at 32 and brought my two girls up by myself after this. I figured we had all been through enough without me bringing a new man into the family home. They are grown up now but I sometimes wonder if they missed out on having a "father figure" around although my dad (a strong alpha male) and still happily married to my mum has had a huge presence in their lives. They have never mentioned anything but I'm glad I saw your comment, it confirms that I done the right thing.
Dating a single mother has cost me my stability. I was a fool. I left to protect my daughter from her aggressive tendencies. So much of what you said is true. She had two boys one daughter. It was bad all the way through
Thank you for your videos. It is really appreciated. I have custody of my 2 daughters and it can be tricky on who to date. I just broke up with a single mom and she had more kids than me and was a legitimate financial drain on me. And if she is a drain on me she is a drain on what should be going to my kids. Keep pushing out these vid!
Woman ask why I don't date. I, in return, ask which of my children should lose time/money for her.
more and more men are getting custody and raising children on their own. I did it , and I did it well. Your accusations ,calling somone is a lier is probably just your view of yourself perhaps. Never the less at least my two daughters know what a good man is and have fidured out ON THIER OWN what a piece of shit their mother is, they are 22 and 23 now and we just spent a wonderfull easter together.
Thank you for including the safety of daughters in your video. As a divorced mom of three daughters, it was always a red flag when a guy I was dating wanted to get know them. I gave up trying to find a guy who was okay keeping that part of my life separate. It wasn’t worth the risk.
with your attitude, you'll never find a guy. He's gonna have to meet your daughters eventually, right ???
@@henryjoshual1848doesn’t matter, no guy wants to step into that. It’s dangerous.
Reverse hypergamy is the only situation where this makes sense. Fuck that shit about her taking me to the cleaners. Bitch I'm taking YOU to the cleaners. Your money is our money and my money is my money lol.
I married a single mother 17 years ago...it wasn't all.peaches and cream... her son had some issues... but it all worked out. She was a flight attendant at the time. She had to leave her job because it wouldn't have worked out.
All in all I would do it again. She is an angel wrapped in skin. Sex is better now than in the beginning.
Yeah he just doesn’t know that she already cheated multiple times with multiple men but just got away with it secretly. sorry you lose bro.
"The juice isn't worth the squeeze" totally using that one bud! Thanks for these videos....cleared a lot of shit up.....I was destroyed in a divorce thinking "I was doing right by my kids, and feeling sorry for me ex"....lived to confirm, your wisdom needs to be heeded early on by men collectively!
Love what you're saying, I have four teen age daughters and the whole males not of the same bloodline has crossed my mind several times and caused me to say away from certain situations.
The sexual molestation issue scares me to death... I take my job protecting my daughters very seriously.
I have three young teen girls as well I am scared to get into a relationship with just anyone their well-being is very important and as parents we need to protect them at all costs👍
@@roteryman5150 Absolutely, every parents need to be vigilant and protect their kids
As a single, childless woman, I primarily have avoided single dads b/c too often their babymamas are a nightmare. Single moms are territorial regarding their kids & often treat the new gf terribly.
Sadly, I think childless men should avoid single moms at all costs. My younger brother started dating a 24yr old with 3 kids by 2 men. I tried so hard to steer him correctly. He didn't listen & knocked her up. She is a stereotypical single mom & has been physically violent with my brother. He still didn't leave. Now he has DV charges that are pending. I know it's anecdotal, but I have seen how my brother's life has suffered just b/c he entertained her. Don't even sleep with these women. It's too big of a risk. Just my 2 cents.
This woman gets it. Straight up facts gents.. listen to her.
She had unhealed trama and a lot of single mothers are like this because most of the time it is the past that keeps them either mad at the world or just victimized by everybody mindset I know this personally and I think all single parents should get therapy before stepping into another relationship or wait until the kids are grown and i do think two childless people should date and single parents should date each other but it is really up to that person and what they can handle 😊
I'm a rational sister and I LOVE your content. I share it with future brothers from another mother.
The only thing I'd change is the pronunciation of Hypergamy. Gamy is related to marriage. It's pronounced like monogamy, polygamy, etc.
Keep it up. Peace.
I am glad some women at least see sense.
(Humanist)
Here's something you left out. Dating a single mom often means you will be competing with her kids for her attention and time. They will win. If her kid is female that brings a whole encyclopedia of drama into the mix. How far will the girl go to win the battle for her mom? You would be shocked how far. I sure was.
My daughter would be a nightmare
what did she do ?
NEVER, there is the only answer. Now lets get on with our lives
I married a single mother. Worked pretty well for about 7 years and then we just grew in totally different directions. There were plenty of red flags that she wasn't, at her core, as represented at first. Missed 'em. Shit Happens. The biggest difference is that I would have continued to work on it despite our differences and she was just a quitter. Bottom line? I was husband number two and should have seen that "quit" coming.
Edmond Dantez i was going to marry a divorced woman with 2 kids. I wonder if my situation would have turned out like your situation.
Edmond Dantez same happened to me, for me leaving the relationship was not the answer, never. Truth is single moms have some serious issues.
Ashamed to admit I was thinking of marrying mine, got on quite well with the kids although they were a headache. 4 years and she quit on me too, we argued over money and it would 80% of the time be me paying for things. Got fed up in the end and had to say something, she left me there and then.
Statistically women file for divorce more often. Women tend to be unhappy in marriages. Its been reported that men don't see it coming.
Rich you are going to ruffle a lot of single mom feathers with this one I'm 24 and this wisdom is platinum to know date n dump em
Maybe it will lead to a "triggered moms" video
make it happen i'm tuning in all the way from Virginia
"date and dump em"...... and men nowadays wonder why so many women have so little respect for you. everyone reaps what they sow in the 'kill or be killed game'.
You mentioned how if you wont to commit to LTR they leave. I was seeing a single mom for a while and wanted to take things slow but she kept pushing for a title and something more serious even though her divorce wasn't even finalized yet. When I wouldn't budge she bounced quickly just like Richard said they're looking to be taken care of.
Dating a single mother would be like having a track session in a a race car with bald tires(which you can't change).. each tire representing each kid. Avoid, avoid, avoid
Look Brother, The biggest problem I had when I was dating a single Mom was she had two daughters of breeding age (14, 15), who were constantly trying to take Mommy's place. Needless to say I got the F*¢k out of there.
As I was reading the comments I was taken aback by the lack of these types of experiences... of course most daughters have developed some kind of daddy issues at that point and could start acting weird around male strangers coming to their house... plain awful, at least you had the decency to walk away from that.
Eureka Mreum decency? I think the thought of prison was my real motivation. Besides, their Mom was looking more at my wallet than anything else.
Jesus Christ dude. Good on you for having some morals
Hahaaa
I had a single mother with 3 ex-husbands ask me to quit my job and be mr mom. I rode that over a year, then she moved onto another sucker.
EDIT: POINT 5... if there is an ex parent still in the picture with shared custody, make sure they aren't insane... the drama that follows won't be worth it.
Leave a comment below, with any tips you may have and show this to someone that needs to see it.
If you are stuck on something in life, book my time here: clarity.fm/richardcooper
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I've had requests to do a video on situations when it might be ideal to date a single mum. I could only think of these ones below:
1. You have a kid(s) the same age AND get along AND you have the same number of kids
2. No risk of males violating each females
3. You already live local to one another
4. When reverse hypergamy works, never date down with a single mother the risk is too high
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Entrepreneurs in Cars Those few rational sisters who enjoy your content aren't 3rd wave feminists.
Entrepreneurs in Cars Please put your links in the description. Your boxes don't work when casting from a phone.
News Flash: MOST women are not 3rd wave feminists. Get a brain.
++antoinette-- just the fact that they're feminists, any wave, they've drank the kool-aid. entitlement comes with feminism. buyers beware.
Entrepreneurs in Cars Point 5: Oh no, that leaves me undateable. My ex who has shared custody is insane.
I initially thought that the length of this video might be exactly how long it takes to say the word "never."
This video gives four reasons too many to date single mothers. But it's a good video! Points taken.
There are simply way too many pressures coming from every direction in this modern era to have successful long term relationships. (Generally). Less people are marrying and the ones that do will probably be divorced before their tenth anniversary.
The red pill and people like you and Rollo are the gift of wisdom to the world.
a womans point of view - its not in any way worth it - you cant raise their child you will wind up feeling like a outsider at home and wont mean much more to her then resorces theres a reason shes single
That's right. Thanks for being honest. Men will never be loved how they should be in that situation and someone needs to tell them. Its ALWAYS about her and her kids.
Excellent points Rich. Btw like my Work shirt.
I have two boys and dated a guy with a daughter. It was a similar situation to what you’re describing. I never let the boys be alone with her and we had multiple conversations about appropriate and inappropriate behavior. With that being said, not all single moms see men as resource. Quite often it’s the other way around. I have a good job and am perfectly capable of taking care of myself without any outside financial help. I was often the one buying stuff for his daughter, doing activities that she liked, and she and I grew very close. She loved the boys as well. The problem is, I was seen as a resource. Not just financial but I could take care of house, home, and his daughter. Although he made more money than I did, I more than pulled my own weight. The biggest issue is that he, his daughter, and my boys were in constant competition for my love and affection. I got so overwhelmed with caring for everyone. It didn’t work out. I loved them dearly and always will, but it’s wrong to assume that the Mom is just after a man for resources. That’s quite often not true at all.
lol gtfo
Well, thank God the microphone is in frame AND in focus, cause it's super important to the subject matter.
Was in a great relationship. She just stopped making time. She had two kids, I have none. Find out later from her best friend "you bring it all to the table but you make less than her". Wasted two years.
That’s brutal
Single mothers. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..;-(
Depends - if you come from a single-parent upbringing you understand how single parenting works. If you do not come from a single-parent home - you'll struggle.
As a 64 year-old guy, I say it is fine to date a single mother once her kids have grown up and left the nest.
Reverend Al by that time ur married with ur own kids, unless youre a young guy with a milf
I think age is also a consideration. If you 25, do not do it. I did it when I was in my late 20's and it was a huge mistake. If your 50, maybe the kids left the house or if the girlfriend is younger and in the mid to late 30's her children will be younger. As people get older it is less likely to find women who is not divorced, have kids or some sort of relationship baggage. For me it was always about two things dating single mothers. 1. do I really like the women to deal with the baggage. Is the juice worth the squeeze. This is very important to figure out early before you get in too deep. 2. Is the woman a good mother. Surprising, how many women there social life comes before their own children. RUN away from these crazy women. The reality of the situation is that her children come first. A good mothers kids will be well behaved and doing well in school. A good mother realize their kids comes before themselves.
A good women will recognize they have baggage and will find ways to make up for you understanding and patience of the guy. If they think they do not, Run Away. Remember you are dating the women not the kids. You do not want to be in a situation where you care more about the kids than the woman. It is not fair to both of them. A good mother would not introduce you to her kids on the first date. They should be very selective on who they bring into their family. You should not be sleeping over their when the kids are there. Not good for the kids to see a merry go round of men in the mothers bedroom. If you date a single mother realize if you break up you will be breaking up with the whole family including the children. This will magnify the breakup. Be careful of getting into deep to fast. For me always thought single women craved stability in their life, the man figure. The problem is her kids are not your kids, so parenting is another hurdle you have to deal with when you get in deep. From the quote from Jerry Maguire "A single woman has been to the circus, been to the puppet show and seen the strings. You have to be fair to her. Single mother is a sacred thing. A real man does not Shoplift The Pootie from a single mother". Are all of these headaches worth it, is the Juice Worth the Squeeze.
It always comes down to #1.) Is the Juice worth the squeeze?
Most of the time is it not. There may be select situations where it can work out, but you have to weigh pros and cons always. There are so many single mothers out there for a reason. The dating market is saturated with them.
Even if the kids are grown and left the house now you’ll have to deal with grand kids that aren’t yours. Nope hard pass. Never date a single mother under any circumstance.
Step fathers are a huge factor in children being assaulted! I am an ER nurse, most children of single mothers are sexually abused or beaten by mommy’s new boyfriend
I experience this kind of relationship! And it was the worst feeling ever. Never again😂
I met and married a single mother with a 6 year old daughter, best decision Ive ever made, going on 36 years married.
Mike, you won the lottery in a different era. You are a rare exception to a cast iron rule.
Mike Osborn Well done Mike. You are a lucky bugger. I would argue it’s harder these days for a whole lot of reasons. Doesn’t take away from your success, but??
This is what I want for me. My girlfriend has a 7 years old, and so far her having a kid hasn't been an issue at all. She dedicates at lot of time to me. Since I knew a lot about red pill before dating her, I was with the mindset that I will only take her seriously as long as she gave me my place, and she's doing that.
Nick well said Nick
Nope, she cheated on you and you just don’t know it haha. hahahahhhahhhaha.
Never date single mothers. You will always be second and will always have all the responsibilities,none of the authority. Tom Leykis has elaborated on it far better than I ever could. All hail the professor!
I can think of a scenario. The year is 2097, after the apocalypse. While crawling through the radioactive rubble looking for anything you can eat you see an absolute bomb shell of a hottie naked and tied to a wooden post being tormented by a pack of mutant morlocks. You kill the morlocks with your death ray blaster, rescue the hottie, and figure out this is pretty much the last woman on Earth. She introduces you to her now just turned 18 year old daughter and you keep them both as wives. Under this circumstance you may feel justified in beginning an LTR.
Failing this - never date a single mother as they are cancer.
Very good advice!!! This man speaks the truth!! Most people don't want to hear the truth!!!!
I was molested as a child it fucked me up! I also grew up in a blended family and I honestly don't like it. I hate splitting my time during the holidays.
Rule 1. Near 50/50 custody with their ex.
Rule 2. Doesn't bag their ex.
Rule 3. Doesn't need third party support (Ie child support, govt assistance etc)
Rule 4. Ensures kids treat me with respect
Haven't met one yet but those are my rules
Thumbs up
Dating a single mum is like paying new price for a second hand sofa that someone else has already taken a shit on.
Dangerous material, but you handled it so well. Thanks.
hi rich,
even if i'm not in the dating/relationship game etc, i tend towards MGTOW at 62, i still enjoy the relationship content whether for 20s or older. maybe just because i want to keep up with what the boys are up against in wonderland. you aren't full of hate, anger, and frustration like some of the MGTOW on YT are. plus you don't insult or rail against the MGTOW too much for the choices they make. all in all, it looks a real jungle out there in certain age groups, with all of the juggling and complications. just for a commodity that has a tendency to be over-valued anyway.
All Im going to say is whoaa!! Guys fall in love with someone that will love you back. Reciprocation is the goal. Some of you guys sound like you lost your mind, because if you love someone you will work it out. Never let someone discourage you away from being genuinely loved. That's a rare experience in this life.
Good video. All great considerations.
If you wanted kids and have them then listen to this coach, not me, he is spot on.
When both are poor you end up needing your partner for survival... but she wants to do better if he comes around unless bound by faith structures...those days are gone unless middle eastern. When your self made and she's not she looks at you like a king but then resents you for being so in the end unless you bend the knee or pay up. If she is self made and you are not then you must be very good looking indeed and are getting used. When both are self made compromises are difficult as you're both use to leading the way and getting what you want when you want it. Wouldn't it be nice to have a relationship with thought and compassion without any baggage in the end? No kids, agreed prenups, separate shared houses, even steven with play money/expenses, and monogamy. The planet will thank you for not procreating idiots anymore.
Great points... especially, the one about non-blood related household members. I'm always concerned for the children when I hear a single mother tell me she's excited to have her new boyfriend move in with her. (First red flag: He's moving in with HER...)
Another situation where it would be 'ok' to possibly date a single mother: If her children are grown and moved out of her house. In my experience, IF her children are adults AND not living with her, it seems to go pretty well. She is obviously independent and has probably done her job well enough to say she's a decent mother. If her adult children are still living with her, no matter the excuse, it's a red flag that there are some major problems in her family dynamics.
By the time the vemales kids are out of the house, it will be 40-50 years old.... Nah, pass
Thanks so much Rich. Hard truths and well learnt lessons. Appreciate it and keep it up
Never
ever!
The Last of the Americans Ever!
Brother. Spot on about women who were violated in a blended family. While dating I met many women who went through this sort of thing. Very common. I now have a little girl and wouldn't even consider dating a woman who has a boy. Little boys reaching puberty do not have the self control and experience to not resist these new urges they are challenged with. I also have two boys and I wouldn't consider dating a woman who has a little girl. I would not set them up to do something stupid. Protect what is yours.
Dating a single mother is very difficult. Especially if she or the kids have a relationship with their fathers which they should. It's a threesome type of situation. You'll never have her to yourself, you'll have to share her time. You can give all of you but you'll have to be happy with a portion of her. It's only fair for her to go to family events on the child's fathers side and bring the children, the ex will be at birthday parties, graduations,possibly sporting events (school events), weddings and all. After a while it gets tiring and you'll eventually feel like a lame. You're paying for majority of the childcare as the ex smiles at you cause he got the goods and walked away as you play cleanup man. Nothing like supporting a kid as they talk about his/her 'real father '. God forbid the father is a bum type dude, it'll get you that she (the mother)expects 5 star treatment for her kids as the biological dad did nothing but release in her. Now you're a sucker..lol If you don't mind cleaning toilets at a truckstop being a step dad is kinda the same situation.
When the kids are grown and gone. At the earliest.
Never under any circumstance. It's a cruel world but we got to do what's best for us and that is to never date a single mother.
Ive dated 3 single moms. One was great caretaker and made time for everyone. Second one's baby's dad killed his mom and his grandmom when we were dating. That was incredibly stressful, never forget that call. He's in prison now of course. The other one had a lot of drama with ex which sucked really bad. All of the kid's dads hated me. U have no kids of my own. Needless to say it didnt work out longterm, u can get a few yrs out of it if u want
In regards to the question poised by the title, in one word: NEVER EVER!
Ok, I lied when I stated the answer would be only one word. But getting past the fact that I lied, will be considerably easier than getting past the mistake of getting into an LTR with a single mom.
I would also be worried if you had a son that was a few years younger than her daughters.
Abuse isn't a one way street.
Hi Rich I'm binge-watching men need to be very aware if they're dating a single mother that has daughters that false accusations are not made against the man if the daughter gets upset she can use that situation against the man men need to be very very careful
I was engaged to a single mother of 3 & had a son with her. He is great but she was not; I’m a single dad & put my son first before any women I date. I do not do the manipulation part with women but take heed brothers; if they act super agreeable for 5-7 months than it will come back to my way or the highway soon after. If you’re a single dude do not date a single mother ever just keep your life simple guys.
Great video great content. Your helping a lot of men out there.
thanks for being so upfront and honest
IDK...When is it ideal to use an active electrical substation as a place for pull-ups?
HOLLY $#!T!!! THATS A THING?!?! O.o?!?! I would of never thought you can potentially pay child support for kids that aren't yours D: does that also apply if you divorced and never have kids with her? :(
Yup, depending on the laws where you live, you may be forced to pay child support for kids that aren't yours.
Mind = Blown! O.o
Never. I learned from my past mistakes understand that moms give their love to their kids and no one else.
I made the mistake once, never again. People who don't have kids simply don't understand that kids require effort. Honestly, they think it's going to be like taking care of their dog or cat, and maybe a bit more, or possibly that the single parent will do all the work. Nope, you pick up all that slack, or pick up all the emotional consequences of not doing so.
The only acceptable answer I can see is if you're a single father with more kids than the single mother you're dating, and your kids are the older kids... and I think she'd have to be a widow... and believe in non aggression toward children.... and respect her family and children... It's pretty slim pickings there.
If you're not into having a family, and take precautions to make sure you don't bring children into this world, it's NEVER a good time for an LTR with a single mother...
The risk has nothing to do with the bloodline. It is more important of the children being raised together at a young age. There is a phenomenon for estranged bloodline family members having sex. It's not called incest. There is a term for the specific situation. There are cases of brothers and sisters separated at birth, unknowing meeting each other, and having an instant attraction. Sometimes they even end up married. They have no idea they are related, but they find out later.
Had a single mom bail on our date tonight..... half hour b4 our date she TEXTED me.... didn't call.... that she "had a family emergency" ya.. ok.... going to put dating off for awhile.
pump and dump and ghost you have all heard that one