My man is living his life on nightmare mode where everything in existence tries to bully him yet he's grown to become an independent and positive person. You're a very strong person and I've got nothing but respect for you
Hiroshi, you are a very resilient person. You endured so much negativity yet you remain positive and look at the bright side of things. That is very admirable. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences
Hello! Thanks for watching. I've been interacting with a lot of people through this RUclips channel. Some of them have gone through more difficult situations than I have. I think there are a lot of people in the world who are much stronger than me. I am inspired by them a lot.
I do not know if this comment will reach you, Hiroshi, but I’m watching this video today right after watching the other video where you talk about the school events that led you to isolate yourself and become a Hikikomori. I want to take this time, for what it is worth, and say, you’re an amazing person. Don’t ever doubt that for a second. I don’t comment on RUclips videos in general and I’m not active on any social media platforms as I myself suffer from depression and anxiety and have a tendency to isolate myself from the rest of the world. After watching your videos, I’m encouraged and amazed by your strength and I will always remember you and these videos till the day I die as they have left a mark on my soul. You’re amazing, I know I said that once. But I want to say it again. I was left speechless upon hearing about the incidents that happened in your life, i am speechless even now as I write this comment. I wish you so so much of goodness and joy and love in this lifetime. You suffered a lot and you didn’t deserve any of it. I’m proud of you for thriving despite everything life threw at you. You’ll always be an inspiration to me. I know this all sounds too cheesy or emotional, I’m sorry about that. But these words are truly what I feel, from the bottom of my heart. Never stop thriving and succeeding, Hiroshi, because you’re a winner. God Bless.
Thanks for watching! I have read many stories of Hikikomori from around the world, and I know there are people who have had a harder time than I have. I think they are much stronger than I am. And you're right, there are ups and downs in life. So even if situation is bad now, it can change in the future, so I think it's important not to give up on life. 🙂
@@HirosiYamazoe I watched your mountain camping video, a few weeks ago, and commented there on the healing power of nature. I find nature doesn't judge me, and nature can restore me. Nature gave me the solace I didn't find in people. There is so much to give us solace in this world. Finding my inner being (from before I was almost destroyed by twenty long years of depression), I now walk a practical and spiritual path through life, And there is peace in that.
Thanks for watching my camp video! I am in awe of nature. It is beautiful, has healing effects, and it can be very dangerous sometimes. Like you said, I think nature has some kind of energy that makes us healthy. By the way, I'm going to a highland in Japan soon, which is a mountainous area with an area of about 3000 meters altitude. My next video will be a travel video of that place. I'll upload it within a week. If you are interested, please see it, Roseanne. 🙂
Dear Hiroshi, I found your history very harrowing. I think the bullying at school, the coldness of your father and oldest brother, and the loss of your dog, so cruelly, were reason enough for you to withdraw from your school and try to find a safe place at home, only to find out that was not a safe place either. The part I find hardest to understand and accept is that your mother, who had been so kind and giving to you, could so brutally change and join in the family's rejection of you. Traumatic indeed. I think you have survived with no emotional support at all from the age of 13. It's amazing to me that you have done so well after all that, at such a young age. Perhaps becoming hikikomori kept you safe enough for the time you needed to grow up and not need your family any more. However, I think those hikikomori years would have been better spent if your parents had cared less about "shame" and "community" and cared more about their own flesh and blood. You have answered my question about why your parents did not protect you. They didn't have the capability within them. Sad for them and especially sad for you. So you re-parented yourself and did a better job than your parents did. I'm proud of you, Hiroshi; you have triumphed over adversity.
Hello Rosanne. It was also a very long story, but thanks for seeing it. Having someone who understands my past makes me feel relieved from it. Yes, when I was 13 years old, my mother's transformation was very shocking to me. Maybe she wanted to raise me tough and strong in a Spartan way. And maybe they thought that if they were harsh to me, I would go to school. But it worked the opposite way. Also, my father lost his father in the war when he was a child, so it may have had something to do it with the fact that he had no role model for the father in his life. Maybe my father didn't know how to properly care for his children. But anyway, as I said at the end, I am now living fine without any resentment towards my parents. So there is no need to be sad about me at all. I have many plans for my future. And I will continue to share them with people through this channel. 😊
@@HirosiYamazoe Yes. To make peace with the past. To make peace with the ghosts from the past. To see things from an adult perspective and find some forgiveness for the mistakes of the past. We've all made mistakes. Forgiving a cruel parent is a way to move forward. I had to forgive my father a great deal, to find peace. He was young too, when many bad things happened, so I forgive him, and myself for being so badly affected by his cruelty. I have repaired a lot of damage done.
You validated the whole situation so eloquently… thank you… triangulation is the worst thing-- and there is something evil that causes people to shame others and gang up on them.
I dont want to cry but my tears just kept falling,maybe because deep inside I can relate and even though ,or after all the traumatic events in my life I still have hope.Its hard but still try.
Thank you for sharing Hiroshi. I wish I could give you a hug right now. You deserved better as a child. Is it possible for you to have a relationship with your brothers, when your parents are not around? I hope you are keeping in good spirits. Please continue making RUclips content. Your strength gives me strength.
Wow Hiroshi, If you can survive all of this, you are amazingly strong. Thank you for loving yourself enough- you are precious- and for coming out and being an advocate for so many people…. Toxic shame is exactly that and society is needing to cleanse itself entirely of shame. Thank you and bless you!
Dark history indeed but I understand you and feel identified with some things that happened to you and help me see I'm not so alone in my isolation and bad family realtionship issue. Thanks for sharing.
They were not aware that they should have taught you the that you are worthy of life and love. If they taught you good self confidence and allowed you to take martial arts to prevent bullying.
ひろしさん、 私にとって、こんな大変で悲しい話を信じたくないです。私はカナダ人として、日本の世間と恥ということが分かりにくいですけど、ひろしさんが頑張りますと言いたいです。I am happy you survived and discovered new meaning in your life with things such as travel. Thank you for sharing your experience. You are not alone.
I am halfway through, but need a break because it is very dark your past. My heart extends out to you, and the past sufferings you had to endure. People say “oil isnt thicker than blood”, but sometimes those closest towards us hurt us the most in life. Its truly unfortunate that you experienced the isolation from others and the exile of your family. However, the fact your here telling us this story shows that you have great strength, will, and determination to persevere - perhaps it’s the spirit of your grandfather from WWII that lives on inside of you 🙏
Hello! Thanks for your comment. Yes this is very much my dark story, but as I said at the end, I am getting over it now. 🙂 I have no resentment towards my parents whatsoever. My grandfather died when I was very young. I often wonder what kind of life he lived.
I grateful with my life although i dont have any friends, girlfriends, being socially inept and the society treat me like a clown. But i still have a job and loving parents that treat me like human.
Hi Hiroshi! I am so sorry for your experiences. I guess sometimes blood relation does not mean we can relate to others. Relatives can be really ignorant, abusive towards each other. A specific caracter of a person is enough to hurt others and traditions may make things worse :( Recognizing harmful social patterns, sorting out common issues would be so important! Tradition&culture is value but we are not able to grow till we don't recognize toxic patterns. And it’s necessary to be able to recognize behavioral patterns that are toxic before deciding on ways to halt and change them. So, recognizing toxic behavioral patterns is the initial step to take before doing anything about them. After recognizing patterns, it’s easier to make informed decisions about what to do in the future. But we may want to change, yet remain fearful of doing so. This world need a lot of time to create healthier traditions. Provide food, shelter etc. is the bare minimum what parents have to give their kids. But they are responsible for their safety, mental&physical health and well being too. I do not know all the details but it seems your family failed you in many ways. But you've found your way anyway in life. That means you are strong even if you don't feel so. You chose to change the pattern. And it is a big deal! Your parents&brothers should be proud :( Maybe one day you are going to sit down with them and be able to have an honest conversation. Maybe it wouldn't change a thing, I don't know... but would give some kind of relief. (I lost my father racently. Our relationship was never good. He was kinda narcissistic, emotionally abusive, jelous person. He could have been a good dad but chose to give in to his own inner demons. We haven't spoken for 5 years, he removed me from all of his social media etc. I thought I was mad at him...but I don't feel this way now. I don't think we would have been sorted out our issues but maybe a single, mature conversation could have provided some answers.) Thanks for sharing your story with us!:) Ps. Please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors.
Hello! Thanks for your comment. I always find your comments very insightful. As you said, I think tradition has a bad side that forces people to follow toxic patterns. Japan is a country with a very deep history. Tradition can be beautiful, but sometimes it forces people to do irrational things. For example, as I said in this video, the two concepts in Japan that "世間 = Seken = local community" and "恥 = Haji = shame". I think it is important to escape from that pattern. But I'm still in the process of learning as well. I have been able to escape the toxicity of my parents, but I still have a lot of work to do. For example, I am not very good at talking and socializing. I think this is another thing that I can fix by changing my patterns. I would like to overcome the issue little by little. And thank you for sharing about yourself. I'm sorry that your father hurt you too, but now that he's gone, and there are no mad feelings in you. I think it's great that you can feel that way, because I think you are very much matured. If people could talk to each other calmly as mature adults, like as you say, people might be able to reconcile our bad parent-child relationship. Stay Healthy & Take Care
I am sorry you had to go through all that suffering Hiroshi. In my opinion nobody deserves to suffer so much they begin to be treated as less than human. I am glad you choose to live and become independent form your parents, it is unfortunate but sometimes the community we are born into is the one which causes us the most trauma. You say that you have been posting a lot of dark videos recently which is kind of true but i personally do not mind, i think it is a good thing you are being upfront about your past especially if it helps you face and overcome your childhood trauma. 🙂
Hi backseatgaming, Thanks for the comment! I think there are many people who are hurt by their family members who are supposed to be their allies. Especially in Japan, the term "Toxic Parents" has become a very popular word on social media. Many people are complaining about their parents. It is a very sad thing to be hurt by the parents. But I believe that we can overcome such trauma by changing our mindset. And like you said, I was concerned that recently this channel has been sharing only my dark stories. But I'm glad to see so many people responding with comments like this. I hope that my story will be of some help to people.
I fully agree regarding " Nobody deserves to suffer so much they begin to be treated as less than human". Re-humanising after de-humanisation are both painful experiences, but rehumanising ourselves is essential. We are not only allowed to love ourselves - we have an obligation to do so!
I m a parent. I get angry with my children sometimes, I am harsh with words when I get angry. But I care and love my children dearly. I wish I could give you a motherly hug and tell you that I care...
I’m sorry about your dog. My mom gave the family a cat when I was one. I grew up with him. When he was 15 his health started deteriorating. I think the neighborhood children went into our yard while he was laying down in the sun and ran over him with their bikes or they might have beaten him with a stick. He had internal problems and died soon after. It broke my heart, so much. If you love a pet, it will be waiting for you when you pass.
Thanks for sharing your experience. It seems like there were many occasions where being shown some kindness from those around you could have changed things, but instead people chose to be indifferent or cruel. I think it’s a good lesson for us to try to be kinder to the people in our own lives. I’m so glad that you’ve made it through those dark times.
Hi che von , thanks for the comment. Yes, people often choose to abandon someone in trouble rather than help them. This is because helping someone is hard work and takes a lot of effort basically. For example, there are many homeless and poor people in the world, but only a few people are willing to help them. I can't do such charity work to the fullest too. But I believe that it is important to try to make the world a better place for people to live in, even if it is something easy that I can do.
thank you for sharing. It was such a painful experience and I am glad and inspired that you have created a meaningful life for yourself despite it all, and become an inspiration for others. I hope your parents will realise their mistake one day.
Thank you for your comments, it is a great pleasure to be able to do this kind of activity on RUclips. It's really awesome that I can be interacting with people from all over the world. And yes, I hope I can reconcile with my parents, but if I can't, it's also okay. My parents will pursue their own path and I will continue to pursue my own path. If it makes both of us happy, then that's great. 😊
Hello Hiroshi, I am so sorry for everything that you went through. My heart broke at the things your family put you through. I can never understand parents who hurt there own children. I wish you all the happiness, love, and joy that your heart can hold! I have subscribe to your channel and look forward to seeing your life continue to get better and better. I will be here supporting you, cheering you on, and praying for you! You are such a strong person! May God Bless you greatly!
Hiroshi, you just made me a better mom. I would love my children when they are distressed, and would push them a little when they become too attach. Parenting is hard. I don't know if I am loving my children so much that I am spoiling them. I want them to become an independent, successful, strong, and kind individual like you.
Hi Hiroshi, your knowledge of the English language is incredible, well done! Your story really helped me to understand what is the trigger that causes people to isolate. I cried for your dog because it was the only time you felt loved and he was taken from you in the cruelest way. You are a beautiful soul and you are strong. May love and light fill the rest of your days xx
Thank you for sharing your experiences.. It is very inspiring that you're taking your past as a positive thing!.. I hope you'll have a happier and brighter future ahead of you!.. ..And yes! I'll be looking forward to your travel vlog! :)
You are very very strong for making all the decision you have made. I think I am somehow a hikkikomori since 2018, I basically stay at home most of my time during the day, I just go out only for walking with my headphones on alone for an hour or when I go out with my parents. Or (rarely) with my "friends" (basically one time a month). I live with my parents at age of 23, I work only at home with a low wage for my country (around 1250$ USD/month), the problem is that I don't know if I should leave or not, because in my family there is a member that is really a negative and hateful person that is really pushing all of us down every single day, so I just try to not interact with that person or listen to what she say. But I really like staying with my family besides that one negative person that is only causing harm and nothing more. So I am in this state of not knowing what to do, like you said in the video I am the kind of person that get cherished and helped in most of the things by my family (beside my online job and other things like feeding hamster, etc..), my mother is cooking, take care of the house, pay rent, go buy food.. (my mother is housewife). So basically they do everything, but I won't grown up if I don't live alone and do everything by myself, but I don't know what to do, because now I can rely on the company of my family (even though I have to deal with stress caused by that negative person) or going living alone spending all of my wage on new house, food, taxes and so on and living alone the whole day without speaking to anybody. I am sure I am really damaged by hearing all of the negative and hateful things by that one person but there are also positive things about living in my parents house as I said, so I really can't make a choice. I believe the right choice is to live alone, but it is a very tough decision for me, so again I think you had a really strong courage to leave your home and leave the hikkikomori state and you had a lot more worse situation than mine
Hello! Thank you for sharing your situation with us. I am not that strong. I know many people in the world have left the home of their parents in their late teens to be independent. I lived in my parents' house all my life until I was about 24. In today's Japan, it is not uncommon to find people in their 30s and 40s still dependent on their parents for their living. You are only 23 years old, so you still have a lot of potential for a great future. And as I've said in other videos, if the parent-child relationship is good and the child feels that living under the parents is beneficial, then I think it's perfectly fine to live under the parents for long time as possible. I don't think there's anything wrong with continuing to live with the family. But in my case, my parents were very aggressive and it was hard for me. In such a case, I think that moving out is a good option because it would solve many problems. In your case, someone in your family is being negative towards you. If this is a big problem that you can't stand and can't solve, then moving out of the house may be the solution. In any case, you are so young that you still have a lot of time. I think you can discuss it with your non-negative family members and take your time to decide. Good luck and stay healthy!
Hi Hiroshi, is it possible you would ever get another pet? Not as a replacement, but as a friend. I have a cat and I find that pets or animals in general can have a very positive impact on our mental health. For example, I was in a very depressive state from November 2021-January 2022. And my cat would walk up to me and be close to me because she sensed how I felt. In regard to your story, I am so sorry this happened on top of the bullying... I think you can be very proud to have overcome all the hardships in your life. Abuse in the family is one of the worst kinds especially growing up because you have nowhere else to go... It is wonderful to see you thriving with your travels nowadays.
Hello! I understand very well what you are saying. I think pets can be soul mates of their owners and heal their mental wounds. My European friends have cats and dogs. I think they are healed by their pets. But I like to travel and live alone. So I cannot go on a trip leaving my pets behind if I have pets. So now I am not allowed to have pets. But sometimes when I visit my friend's house, I can play with cats and dogs, that makes me feel healed. :)
@@HirosiYamazoe That's great to hear! I also understand your reasoning. Maybe a smaller dog could travel with you but still, I get it's a big responsibility. I'm sure you have a lot of fun with your friends' pets :)
Hiroshi you continue to show us how strong you are! Again I'm sorry for what you had to go through! Thank you for telling us your story!! Continue to stay strong friend!
Hello 92 eg, Thanks for watching. If my videos could be of any help to people, I'd be happy! I know that there are many people in the world who are much stronger and greater than me. I am inspired by them. And I am doing very fine now, so you don't have to be sorry for anything about me now. 😄 Yes, I will continue to make videos and post them regularly. 👍
Sometimes people forgot that Japanese people also live in reality likes others, Japan is very cool their a lot of information about it but life struggling information seems like less people care about and not much information about it.
I think that's a very good point. Of course, there are many Japanese people who are having difficulty in their lives. Depression and suicide are the biggest ones. And Hikikomori.... I would like to continue to send out information about these issues.
Hi Hiroshi, in the end of your video, you talked about how you want to post some enjoyable videos. Where do you want to travel? Will you do a video on Super Nintendo World at Universal? I would enjoy seeing you go and tell us about your experience. But maybe it is very expensive…
Hello! Thanks for the suggestion! But I'm a 37 year old guy. It takes a lot of courage to visit the Super Nintendo World alone. Haha... 🤣 But If you or some other foreign friends come to Japan, maybe we can go there together. 👍👍 And you'll probably find out within a week where I'm going to travel. I'm preparing for it.
Hello Hiroshi! You are strong man! i hope you have good healthy and have a great day! We know your parent your older brother abandoned you and forget about you but don't ever forget them!
Thanks for sharing your story, Hiro. It's a very sad tale! It's interesting to think about where parent's physical and psychological violence comes from. Maybe they were treated the same way when they were kids and don't know any other method to raise children. Violence brings up more violence, it can become a never ending chain. It's amazing you managed to break through from this chain and forgave your parents, Hiro. That's very hard to do and very few people are wise enough and strong enough to do that! I think you should eventually write a memoir book, your life story is very inspiring, I've been watching your videos for a year now and you always manage to surprise me with a strong positive message! Thanks for sharing as always. Looking forward for your next videos! =D
Hi Nefi! Thanks for watching my videos for over 1 year. haha.. 😄 Yes, I think it's important to consider where the parent's hostility towards the child comes from. As you say, it is often said that a parent's violent tendencies are transferred to their children. Children who grow up being abused are more likely to abuse their children. But in my father's case, his grandfather died young in the war, so he had no parents since he was a child. Therefore, in the case of my father, he may not have known how to raise their children. Maybe that's why he could only respond in such a awkward way about own children. By the way, I like your RUclips videos too. It's very unique and creative. 👍👍
Hello Hiroshi, I am wandering why your father was like this? Maybe your father is not your father. That Would explain everything. Ask your mama, if she was a beautiful woman she could have someone on a side. That would explain allot. I don't try to laugh at anyone, and I think Hiroshi had a terrible life. I just try to find logic motives of such behaviour.
I think my father is the real father of me. But my father lost his father when I was very young. So he has lived a life without his father. So he had no "father role model". So maybe he did not know how to raise his own children. As I said in the video, I don't know the truth anymore because my parents kicked me out a long time ago and I haven't seen them for about 8 years.
Thank you for opening up, being vulnerable and sharing your life stories Hiroshi. I think it helps a lot for the viewers. By doing so we create a connection. We've all been through rough situations. Every individual in his/her own way. Let us all listen to each other and become aware that we're not alone in this world that can feel so lonely. I just can't believe your grandmother was a Buddhist and yet did nothing to protect or help you. And the term "haji" (shame) is just no contribution to society in any way. How is it helping anyone or anything to feel ashamed? In the future all this nonsense will no longer exist. That's what I feel anyway. Could it be your father was angry all the time because your grandfather had served in the military? Of course the war is a very cold, loveless and aggressive situation. And it could be your father genetically/spiritually received some of those unprocessed emotions, and couldn't deal with it either. And now you're the one receiving it because you are born with a very strong ability to accept emotions. You are carrying a lot of Light in you. Darkness always wants to get to the Light. It wants to be seen, processed. Hiroshi the fact that you feel no hate towards your parents after everything they did shows how strong you are as a person/soul. You're unbreakable! And it's very inspiring. But what I do want to add to that, is that maybe there's still a lot of sadness and grief for how it all went. And you are carrying this around with you. It would make me so happy if you can slowly and steadily, without any push, can be confronted with the deepest parts inside of you, where feelings of deep loneliness and abandonment resign. And then let go of them, release the burdens you are carrying my friend. I wish you all the best. Let it all be surrounded with your love.🙏
Hello Balboa, thanks for watching! I'm happy if this video can be of some help to people. And I'm glad that people have responded to this video so much. You are probably right that my father's anger is related to the fact that my grandfather went to the war. , When my father was a child, my grandfather died very young by this war. This caused my father to have a childhood without his father. So maybe he was not sure how to properly deal with his own children. Because he didn't know role model of the father. And I agree with you. War is not a good thing at all. No matter what viewpoint we look at it from, it is a terrible thing. But in that era, every adult, healthy citizen had to become a soldier of the Imperial Japan. It was a very sad era. It is a great blessing that today we can live in a peaceful Japan. And like you said, I still have a lot to learn. I am still in the process of learning. I hope to continue to make progress little by little. And I hope to show you all how it goes on this RUclips channel.
hmm...im going to play devil's advocate and say there is probably a whole other side to this. Not that i dont sympathise with your plight but it necessary to have your family's side of the story as well before we can judge. The way you present this makes it seem your entire family where all psychopaths and you were the only good one. This is possible but highly unlikely in my opinion.
Hello BM Master. It has been a while. I understand your point of view. But I am only sharing what I have experienced. I think for my parents, it was a great shame that the children were Hikikomori, not going to school, and not working. That is why I was treated with such cruelty and lost my relationship with my parents, just like they abandoned me. Parents with this mindset were the standard in Japan 20 years ago when I was a child. Nowadays, there are more parents with a tolerant mindset, but still, it is not uncommon to find parents who have a mindset like my parents.
Try to pray more, just a try. Tell God all your problems. Just for 1 week. Be sincere all of your heart. Then please tell me what is the difference for aways pray to God and not to pray. Pray to our God Creator and not other religious God like Buddha. Just try for 1 week. And after that you can decide if you want to pray more everyday or not, if you will believe or not in the power of Pray.
Hello. Thanks for your comment. I do read the Bible from time to time. Even without his supernatural powers, I think what Jesus said is amazing. It can save people. I think there is definitely some power in praying. I think it can change people's unconsciousness.
@@HirosiYamazoeIf all people believe in God, they will make the world much better because we have fear in God. So we do more positive and we make more humble and love and understand each other. We have a beautiful and peaceful world. 🥰🥰🥰
@@HirosiYamazoe and last, pray for your father and mother, forgive them for what they did to you. In the end, they will realize that they are wrong. Give them more love and understanding because one day, they will realize that they have a loving and beautiful son like you. Make them realize what they did to you and forgive them so your past will be left and not affecting your future 😄😄😄
Wow- thank you for saying what I wasn’t brave enough to days. I am excited about what his connection. With the Lord is going to d and the testimony that will come out of it 🙏
you're a really good human beign Hiroshi, because after all that hard times you dont have bad feelings about your parents. thanks for share this with us, your content is very positive and usefull.
I'm so glad if my content was helpful to you! I think it's a habit of mine to try to get something positive from painful experiences. It has brought me a lot of salvation. Also, I know that there are many people in the world who are having a harder time than I am. But they never give up and live with hope. I am inspired by them.
My man is living his life on nightmare mode where everything in existence tries to bully him yet he's grown to become an independent and positive person. You're a very strong person and I've got nothing but respect for you
Hiroshi, you are a very resilient person. You endured so much negativity yet you remain positive and look at the bright side of things. That is very admirable. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences
Hello! Thanks for watching. I've been interacting with a lot of people through this RUclips channel. Some of them have gone through more difficult situations than I have. I think there are a lot of people in the world who are much stronger than me. I am inspired by them a lot.
@@HirosiYamazoe Thank you for such kind and humble words. You are an inspiration to us all.
I do not know if this comment will reach you, Hiroshi, but I’m watching this video today right after watching the other video where you talk about the school events that led you to isolate yourself and become a Hikikomori. I want to take this time, for what it is worth, and say, you’re an amazing person. Don’t ever doubt that for a second. I don’t comment on RUclips videos in general and I’m not active on any social media platforms as I myself suffer from depression and anxiety and have a tendency to isolate myself from the rest of the world. After watching your videos, I’m encouraged and amazed by your strength and I will always remember you and these videos till the day I die as they have left a mark on my soul. You’re amazing, I know I said that once. But I want to say it again. I was left speechless upon hearing about the incidents that happened in your life, i am speechless even now as I write this comment. I wish you so so much of goodness and joy and love in this lifetime. You suffered a lot and you didn’t deserve any of it. I’m proud of you for thriving despite everything life threw at you. You’ll always be an inspiration to me. I know this all sounds too cheesy or emotional, I’m sorry about that. But these words are truly what I feel, from the bottom of my heart. Never stop thriving and succeeding, Hiroshi, because you’re a winner. God Bless.
You are a very strong person. Life has lots of ups and downs.
Thanks for watching! I have read many stories of Hikikomori from around the world, and I know there are people who have had a harder time than I have. I think they are much stronger than I am. And you're right, there are ups and downs in life. So even if situation is bad now, it can change in the future, so I think it's important not to give up on life. 🙂
@@HirosiYamazoe I watched your mountain camping video, a few weeks ago, and commented there on the healing power of nature. I find nature doesn't judge me, and nature can restore me. Nature gave me the solace I didn't find in people. There is so much to give us solace in this world. Finding my inner being (from before I was almost destroyed by twenty long years of depression), I now walk a practical and spiritual path through life, And there is peace in that.
Thanks for watching my camp video! I am in awe of nature. It is beautiful, has healing effects, and it can be very dangerous sometimes. Like you said, I think nature has some kind of energy that makes us healthy. By the way, I'm going to a highland in Japan soon, which is a mountainous area with an area of about 3000 meters altitude. My next video will be a travel video of that place. I'll upload it within a week. If you are interested, please see it, Roseanne. 🙂
Dear Hiroshi, I found your history very harrowing. I think the bullying at school, the coldness of your father and oldest brother, and the loss of your dog, so cruelly, were reason enough for you to withdraw from your school and try to find a safe place at home, only to find out that was not a safe place either. The part I find hardest to understand and accept is that your mother, who had been so kind and giving to you, could so brutally change and join in the family's rejection of you. Traumatic indeed. I think you have survived with no emotional support at all from the age of 13. It's amazing to me that you have done so well after all that, at such a young age. Perhaps becoming hikikomori kept you safe enough for the time you needed to grow up and not need your family any more. However, I think those hikikomori years would have been better spent if your parents had cared less about "shame" and "community" and cared more about their own flesh and blood. You have answered my question about why your parents did not protect you. They didn't have the capability within them. Sad for them and especially sad for you. So you re-parented yourself and did a better job than your parents did. I'm proud of you, Hiroshi; you have triumphed over adversity.
Hello Rosanne. It was also a very long story, but thanks for seeing it. Having someone who understands my past makes me feel relieved from it. Yes, when I was 13 years old, my mother's transformation was very shocking to me. Maybe she wanted to raise me tough and strong in a Spartan way. And maybe they thought that if they were harsh to me, I would go to school. But it worked the opposite way. Also, my father lost his father in the war when he was a child, so it may have had something to do it with the fact that he had no role model for the father in his life. Maybe my father didn't know how to properly care for his children.
But anyway, as I said at the end, I am now living fine without any resentment towards my parents. So there is no need to be sad about me at all. I have many plans for my future. And I will continue to share them with people through this channel. 😊
@@HirosiYamazoe Yes. To make peace with the past. To make peace with the ghosts from the past. To see things from an adult perspective and find some forgiveness for the mistakes of the past. We've all made mistakes. Forgiving a cruel parent is a way to move forward. I had to forgive my father a great deal, to find peace. He was young too, when many bad things happened, so I forgive him, and myself for being so badly affected by his cruelty. I have repaired a lot of damage done.
You validated the whole situation so eloquently… thank you… triangulation is the worst thing-- and there is something evil that causes people to shame others and gang up on them.
sending big hugs your way
I hope you are having a good day. Remember life is short. Be happy whenever you can
Huge hugs friend. You are awesome. Stepping beyond the familiar is comforting even if negative.
love this video which you tell your story with ambient music,and is long
You are an inspiration
Good grace, thanks Hiroshi. Thank you. I couod not speak better.
May God bless you, Hiroshi!
I dont want to cry but my tears just kept falling,maybe because deep inside I can relate and even though ,or after all the traumatic events in my life I still have hope.Its hard but still try.
You are a very strong person. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing Hiroshi. I wish I could give you a hug right now. You deserved better as a child. Is it possible for you to have a relationship with your brothers, when your parents are not around?
I hope you are keeping in good spirits. Please continue making RUclips content. Your strength gives me strength.
Wow Hiroshi, If you can survive all of this, you are amazingly strong. Thank you for loving yourself enough- you are precious- and for coming out and being an advocate for so many people…. Toxic shame is exactly that and society is needing to cleanse itself entirely of shame. Thank you and bless you!
Lived in Tokyo for a period and your English is really good, keep creating videos.
Dark history indeed but I understand you and feel identified with some things that happened to you and help me see I'm not so alone in my isolation and bad family realtionship issue. Thanks for sharing.
They were not aware that they should have taught you the that you are worthy of life and love. If they taught you good self confidence and allowed you to take martial arts to prevent bullying.
ひろしさん、
私にとって、こんな大変で悲しい話を信じたくないです。私はカナダ人として、日本の世間と恥ということが分かりにくいですけど、ひろしさんが頑張りますと言いたいです。I am happy you survived and discovered new meaning in your life with things such as travel. Thank you for sharing your experience. You are not alone.
I am halfway through, but need a break because it is very dark your past. My heart extends out to you, and the past sufferings you had to endure. People say “oil isnt thicker than blood”, but sometimes those closest towards us hurt us the most in life. Its truly unfortunate that you experienced the isolation from others and the exile of your family. However, the fact your here telling us this story shows that you have great strength, will, and determination to persevere - perhaps it’s the spirit of your grandfather from WWII that lives on inside of you 🙏
Hello! Thanks for your comment. Yes this is very much my dark story, but as I said at the end, I am getting over it now. 🙂 I have no resentment towards my parents whatsoever. My grandfather died when I was very young. I often wonder what kind of life he lived.
I grateful with my life although i dont have any friends, girlfriends, being socially inept and the society treat me like a clown. But i still have a job and loving parents that treat me like human.
Sorry for what you went through. Wish you doing the best out of your life.
Oh, Don't be sorry for me. I'm alive and well now. 👍 I have hope for the future too. The future is the important thing.
@@HirosiYamazoe you so strong. Such an inspiration.
Hi Hiroshi!
I am so sorry for your experiences. I guess sometimes blood relation does not mean we can relate to others. Relatives can be really ignorant, abusive towards each other. A specific caracter of a person is enough to hurt others and traditions may make things worse :(
Recognizing harmful social patterns, sorting out common issues would be so important! Tradition&culture is value but we are not able to grow till we don't recognize toxic patterns. And it’s necessary to be able to recognize behavioral patterns that are toxic before deciding on ways to halt and change them.
So, recognizing toxic behavioral patterns is the initial step to take before doing anything about them. After recognizing patterns, it’s easier to make informed decisions about what to do in the future.
But we may want to change, yet remain fearful of doing so. This world need a lot of time to create healthier traditions.
Provide food, shelter etc. is the bare minimum what parents have to give their kids. But they are responsible for their safety, mental&physical health and well being too. I do not know all the details but it seems your family failed you in many ways. But you've found your way anyway in life. That means you are strong even if you don't feel so. You chose to change the pattern. And it is a big deal! Your parents&brothers should be proud :(
Maybe one day you are going to sit down with them and be able to have an honest conversation. Maybe it wouldn't change a thing, I don't know... but would give some kind of relief.
(I lost my father racently. Our relationship was never good. He was kinda narcissistic, emotionally abusive, jelous person. He could have been a good dad but chose to give in to his own inner demons. We haven't spoken for 5 years, he removed me from all of his social media etc. I thought I was mad at him...but I don't feel this way now. I don't think we would have been sorted out our issues but maybe a single, mature conversation could have provided some answers.)
Thanks for sharing your story with us!:)
Ps. Please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors.
Hello! Thanks for your comment.
I always find your comments very insightful. As you said, I think tradition has a bad side that forces people to follow toxic patterns. Japan is a country with a very deep history. Tradition can be beautiful, but sometimes it forces people to do irrational things. For example, as I said in this video, the two concepts in Japan that "世間 = Seken = local community" and "恥 = Haji = shame".
I think it is important to escape from that pattern. But I'm still in the process of learning as well. I have been able to escape the toxicity of my parents, but I still have a lot of work to do. For example, I am not very good at talking and socializing. I think this is another thing that I can fix by changing my patterns. I would like to overcome the issue little by little.
And thank you for sharing about yourself. I'm sorry that your father hurt you too, but now that he's gone, and there are no mad feelings in you. I think it's great that you can feel that way, because I think you are very much matured. If people could talk to each other calmly as mature adults, like as you say, people might be able to reconcile our bad parent-child relationship.
Stay Healthy & Take Care
I am sorry you had to go through all that suffering Hiroshi. In my opinion nobody deserves to suffer so much they begin to be treated as less than human. I am glad you choose to live and become independent form your parents, it is unfortunate but sometimes the community we are born into is the one which causes us the most trauma. You say that you have been posting a lot of dark videos recently which is kind of true but i personally do not mind, i think it is a good thing you are being upfront about your past especially if it helps you face and overcome your childhood trauma. 🙂
Hi backseatgaming, Thanks for the comment! I think there are many people who are hurt by their family members who are supposed to be their allies. Especially in Japan, the term "Toxic Parents" has become a very popular word on social media. Many people are complaining about their parents. It is a very sad thing to be hurt by the parents. But I believe that we can overcome such trauma by changing our mindset. And like you said, I was concerned that recently this channel has been sharing only my dark stories. But I'm glad to see so many people responding with comments like this. I hope that my story will be of some help to people.
I fully agree regarding " Nobody deserves to suffer so much they begin to be treated as less than human". Re-humanising after de-humanisation are both painful experiences, but rehumanising ourselves is essential. We are not only allowed to love ourselves - we have an obligation to do so!
I m a parent. I get angry with my children sometimes, I am harsh with words when I get angry. But I care and love my children dearly.
I wish I could give you a motherly hug and tell you that I care...
I am so so glad you survived 😮😊
I’m sorry about your dog. My mom gave the family a cat when I was one. I grew up with him. When he was 15 his health started deteriorating. I think the neighborhood children went into our yard while he was laying down in the sun and ran over him with their bikes or they might have beaten him with a stick. He had internal problems and died soon after. It broke my heart, so much. If you love a pet, it will be waiting for you when you pass.
Thanks for sharing your experience. It seems like there were many occasions where being shown some kindness from those around you could have changed things, but instead people chose to be indifferent or cruel. I think it’s a good lesson for us to try to be kinder to the people in our own lives. I’m so glad that you’ve made it through those dark times.
Hi che von , thanks for the comment. Yes, people often choose to abandon someone in trouble rather than help them. This is because helping someone is hard work and takes a lot of effort basically. For example, there are many homeless and poor people in the world, but only a few people are willing to help them. I can't do such charity work to the fullest too. But I believe that it is important to try to make the world a better place for people to live in, even if it is something easy that I can do.
thank you for sharing. It was such a painful experience and I am glad and inspired that you have created a meaningful life for yourself despite it all, and become an inspiration for others. I hope your parents will realise their mistake one day.
Thank you for your comments, it is a great pleasure to be able to do this kind of activity on RUclips. It's really awesome that I can be interacting with people from all over the world. And yes, I hope I can reconcile with my parents, but if I can't, it's also okay. My parents will pursue their own path and I will continue to pursue my own path. If it makes both of us happy, then that's great. 😊
@@HirosiYamazoe I will keep you in my prayers, Jesus bless you!
Hello Hiroshi, I am so sorry for everything that you went through. My heart broke at the things your family put you through. I can never understand parents who hurt there own children. I wish you all the happiness, love, and joy that your heart can hold! I have subscribe to your channel and look forward to seeing your life continue to get better and better. I will be here supporting you, cheering you on, and praying for you! You are such a strong person! May God Bless you greatly!
Hiroshi, you just made me a better mom. I would love my children when they are distressed, and would push them a little when they become too attach. Parenting is hard. I don't know if I am loving my children so much that I am spoiling them. I want them to become an independent, successful, strong, and kind individual like you.
Hi Hiroshi, your knowledge of the English language is incredible, well done! Your story really helped me to understand what is the trigger that causes people to isolate. I cried for your dog because it was the only time you felt loved and he was taken from you in the cruelest way. You are a beautiful soul and you are strong. May love and light fill the rest of your days xx
Thank you for sharing your experiences.. It is very inspiring that you're taking your past as a positive thing!.. I hope you'll have a happier and brighter future ahead of you!..
..And yes! I'll be looking forward to your travel vlog! :)
Hi Lemon Gummy, thanks for watching! Yes I will post a travel video in the near future.
You are very very strong for making all the decision you have made. I think I am somehow a hikkikomori since 2018, I basically stay at home most of my time during the day, I just go out only for walking with my headphones on alone for an hour or when I go out with my parents. Or (rarely) with my "friends" (basically one time a month). I live with my parents at age of 23, I work only at home with a low wage for my country (around 1250$ USD/month), the problem is that I don't know if I should leave or not, because in my family there is a member that is really a negative and hateful person that is really pushing all of us down every single day, so I just try to not interact with that person or listen to what she say. But I really like staying with my family besides that one negative person that is only causing harm and nothing more.
So I am in this state of not knowing what to do, like you said in the video I am the kind of person that get cherished and helped in most of the things by my family (beside my online job and other things like feeding hamster, etc..), my mother is cooking, take care of the house, pay rent, go buy food.. (my mother is housewife). So basically they do everything, but I won't grown up if I don't live alone and do everything by myself, but I don't know what to do, because now I can rely on the company of my family (even though I have to deal with stress caused by that negative person) or going living alone spending all of my wage on new house, food, taxes and so on and living alone the whole day without speaking to anybody.
I am sure I am really damaged by hearing all of the negative and hateful things by that one person but there are also positive things about living in my parents house as I said, so I really can't make a choice. I believe the right choice is to live alone, but it is a very tough decision for me, so again I think you had a really strong courage to leave your home and leave the hikkikomori state and you had a lot more worse situation than mine
Hello! Thank you for sharing your situation with us. I am not that strong. I know many people in the world have left the home of their parents in their late teens to be independent. I lived in my parents' house all my life until I was about 24. In today's Japan, it is not uncommon to find people in their 30s and 40s still dependent on their parents for their living. You are only 23 years old, so you still have a lot of potential for a great future. And as I've said in other videos, if the parent-child relationship is good and the child feels that living under the parents is beneficial, then I think it's perfectly fine to live under the parents for long time as possible. I don't think there's anything wrong with continuing to live with the family. But in my case, my parents were very aggressive and it was hard for me. In such a case, I think that moving out is a good option because it would solve many problems.
In your case, someone in your family is being negative towards you. If this is a big problem that you can't stand and can't solve, then moving out of the house may be the solution. In any case, you are so young that you still have a lot of time. I think you can discuss it with your non-negative family members and take your time to decide.
Good luck and stay healthy!
Hi Hiroshi, is it possible you would ever get another pet? Not as a replacement, but as a friend. I have a cat and I find that pets or animals in general can have a very positive impact on our mental health. For example, I was in a very depressive state from November 2021-January 2022. And my cat would walk up to me and be close to me because she sensed how I felt. In regard to your story, I am so sorry this happened on top of the bullying... I think you can be very proud to have overcome all the hardships in your life. Abuse in the family is one of the worst kinds especially growing up because you have nowhere else to go... It is wonderful to see you thriving with your travels nowadays.
Hello! I understand very well what you are saying. I think pets can be soul mates of their owners and heal their mental wounds. My European friends have cats and dogs. I think they are healed by their pets. But I like to travel and live alone. So I cannot go on a trip leaving my pets behind if I have pets. So now I am not allowed to have pets. But sometimes when I visit my friend's house, I can play with cats and dogs, that makes me feel healed. :)
@@HirosiYamazoe That's great to hear! I also understand your reasoning. Maybe a smaller dog could travel with you but still, I get it's a big responsibility. I'm sure you have a lot of fun with your friends' pets :)
Hiroshi you continue to show us how strong you are! Again I'm sorry for what you had to go through! Thank you for telling us your story!! Continue to stay strong friend!
Hello 92 eg, Thanks for watching. If my videos could be of any help to people, I'd be happy! I know that there are many people in the world who are much stronger and greater than me. I am inspired by them. And I am doing very fine now, so you don't have to be sorry for anything about me now. 😄 Yes, I will continue to make videos and post them regularly. 👍
Sometimes people forgot that Japanese people also live in reality likes others, Japan is very cool their a lot of information about it but life struggling information seems like less people care about and not much information about it.
I think that's a very good point. Of course, there are many Japanese people who are having difficulty in their lives. Depression and suicide are the biggest ones. And Hikikomori.... I would like to continue to send out information about these issues.
@@HirosiYamazoe I'm happy to listen about it. This topic is what people should know and not ignoring it.
Hiroshi
Its time to find yourself a women and start a family.
I'm speechless. But anyway good to see you hiroshi. Hope you are doing well.
Hello falco's channel, Thank you for watching. Yes I'm doing well. And I hope you're doing well too!
Hi Hiroshi, in the end of your video, you talked about how you want to post some enjoyable videos. Where do you want to travel? Will you do a video on Super Nintendo World at Universal? I would enjoy seeing you go and tell us about your experience. But maybe it is very expensive…
Hello! Thanks for the suggestion! But I'm a 37 year old guy. It takes a lot of courage to visit the Super Nintendo World alone. Haha... 🤣 But If you or some other foreign friends come to Japan, maybe we can go there together. 👍👍
And you'll probably find out within a week where I'm going to travel. I'm preparing for it.
@@HirosiYamazoe haha! Okay! Thats a promise! If I go to Japan, I will let you know, I am from Washington DC. Maybe one day!!!!
Hello Hiroshi! You are strong man! i hope you have good healthy and have a great day! We know your parent your older brother abandoned you and forget about you but don't ever forget them!
Hello! Yes, I'll never forget that. But I don't hold any grudges. I hope you have a good health and a good day too!
SORRY i take back what i said
Thanks for sharing your story, Hiro. It's a very sad tale! It's interesting to think about where parent's physical and psychological violence comes from. Maybe they were treated the same way when they were kids and don't know any other method to raise children. Violence brings up more violence, it can become a never ending chain. It's amazing you managed to break through from this chain and forgave your parents, Hiro. That's very hard to do and very few people are wise enough and strong enough to do that! I think you should eventually write a memoir book, your life story is very inspiring, I've been watching your videos for a year now and you always manage to surprise me with a strong positive message!
Thanks for sharing as always. Looking forward for your next videos! =D
Hi Nefi! Thanks for watching my videos for over 1 year. haha.. 😄
Yes, I think it's important to consider where the parent's hostility towards the child comes from. As you say, it is often said that a parent's violent tendencies are transferred to their children. Children who grow up being abused are more likely to abuse their children. But in my father's case, his grandfather died young in the war, so he had no parents since he was a child. Therefore, in the case of my father, he may not have known how to raise their children. Maybe that's why he could only respond in such a awkward way about own children.
By the way, I like your RUclips videos too. It's very unique and creative. 👍👍
Hello Hiroshi, I am wandering why your father was like this? Maybe your father is not your father. That Would explain everything. Ask your mama, if she was a beautiful woman she could have someone on a side. That would explain allot. I don't try to laugh at anyone, and I think Hiroshi had a terrible life. I just try to find logic motives of such behaviour.
I think my father is the real father of me. But my father lost his father when I was very young. So he has lived a life without his father. So he had no "father role model". So maybe he did not know how to raise his own children. As I said in the video, I don't know the truth anymore because my parents kicked me out a long time ago and I haven't seen them for about 8 years.
how are your parents?
Thank you for opening up, being vulnerable and sharing your life stories Hiroshi. I think it helps a lot for the viewers. By doing so we create a connection. We've all been through rough situations. Every individual in his/her own way. Let us all listen to each other and become aware that we're not alone in this world that can feel so lonely.
I just can't believe your grandmother was a Buddhist and yet did nothing to protect or help you. And the term "haji" (shame) is just no contribution to society in any way. How is it helping anyone or anything to feel ashamed? In the future all this nonsense will no longer exist. That's what I feel anyway.
Could it be your father was angry all the time because your grandfather had served in the military? Of course the war is a very cold, loveless and aggressive situation. And it could be your father genetically/spiritually received some of those unprocessed emotions, and couldn't deal with it either. And now you're the one receiving it because you are born with a very strong ability to accept emotions. You are carrying a lot of Light in you. Darkness always wants to get to the Light. It wants to be seen, processed.
Hiroshi the fact that you feel no hate towards your parents after everything they did shows how strong you are as a person/soul. You're unbreakable! And it's very inspiring.
But what I do want to add to that, is that maybe there's still a lot of sadness and grief for how it all went. And you are carrying this around with you. It would make me so happy if you can slowly and steadily, without any push, can be confronted with the deepest parts inside of you, where feelings of deep loneliness and abandonment resign. And then let go of them, release the burdens you are carrying my friend. I wish you all the best. Let it all be surrounded with your love.🙏
Hello Balboa, thanks for watching! I'm happy if this video can be of some help to people. And I'm glad that people have responded to this video so much.
You are probably right that my father's anger is related to the fact that my grandfather went to the war. , When my father was a child, my grandfather died very young by this war. This caused my father to have a childhood without his father. So maybe he was not sure how to properly deal with his own children. Because he didn't know role model of the father.
And I agree with you. War is not a good thing at all. No matter what viewpoint we look at it from, it is a terrible thing. But in that era, every adult, healthy citizen had to become a soldier of the Imperial Japan. It was a very sad era. It is a great blessing that today we can live in a peaceful Japan.
And like you said, I still have a lot to learn. I am still in the process of learning. I hope to continue to make progress little by little. And I hope to show you all how it goes on this RUclips channel.
Shame on your family for how they treated you!
Hi Hiroshi! Stay strong! May Christ provide comfort and healing.
Thanks for watching! Yes Christ has always been a great inspiration to me. Even without his supernatural powers, his words are very important.
what happened to your parents then are they dead?
hmm...im going to play devil's advocate and say there is probably a whole other side to this. Not that i dont sympathise with your plight but it necessary to have your family's side of the story as well before we can judge. The way you present this makes it seem your entire family where all psychopaths and you were the only good one. This is possible but highly unlikely in my opinion.
Hello BM Master. It has been a while. I understand your point of view. But I am only sharing what I have experienced.
I think for my parents, it was a great shame that the children were Hikikomori, not going to school, and not working. That is why I was treated with such cruelty and lost my relationship with my parents, just like they abandoned me. Parents with this mindset were the standard in Japan 20 years ago when I was a child. Nowadays, there are more parents with a tolerant mindset, but still, it is not uncommon to find parents who have a mindset like my parents.
Try to pray more, just a try. Tell God all your problems. Just for 1 week. Be sincere all of your heart. Then please tell me what is the difference for aways pray to God and not to pray. Pray to our God Creator and not other religious God like Buddha. Just try for 1 week. And after that you can decide if you want to pray more everyday or not, if you will believe or not in the power of Pray.
Hello. Thanks for your comment. I do read the Bible from time to time. Even without his supernatural powers, I think what Jesus said is amazing. It can save people. I think there is definitely some power in praying. I think it can change people's unconsciousness.
@@HirosiYamazoeIf all people believe in God, they will make the world much better because we have fear in God. So we do more positive and we make more humble and love and understand each other. We have a beautiful and peaceful world. 🥰🥰🥰
@@HirosiYamazoe and last, pray for your father and mother, forgive them for what they did to you. In the end, they will realize that they are wrong. Give them more love and understanding because one day, they will realize that they have a loving and beautiful son like you. Make them realize what they did to you and forgive them so your past will be left and not affecting your future 😄😄😄
Wow- thank you for saying what I wasn’t brave enough to days. I am excited about what his connection. With the Lord is going to d and the testimony that will come out of it 🙏
@@mhelespenilla9213 amen 🙏
you're a really good human beign Hiroshi, because after all that hard times you dont have bad feelings about your parents. thanks for share this with us, your content is very positive and usefull.
I'm so glad if my content was helpful to you! I think it's a habit of mine to try to get something positive from painful experiences. It has brought me a lot of salvation. Also, I know that there are many people in the world who are having a harder time than I am. But they never give up and live with hope. I am inspired by them.