MY COMING OUT STORY
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- Опубликовано: 20 окт 2024
- I finally gathered the courage to share my coming out story and my journey thus far. I hope wherever you're at in life this helps you along your journey, wherever that may take you. Enjoy!
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Insta & Snapchat: @theprincedylan
When I was about 17 years old in High school i came out to my mom at a counselling session, my brother found out i was gay cuz he overheard me and my boyfriend talking on the phone at the time, my dad found out cuz he looked at the gay porn i had on my computer history. my sister was the first i came out to. Anyways... 25 years later, i am married to my husband and everyone that had an issue with me being gay... turned around and are accepting. Been with my Japanese husband for 13 years so far and going strong. i should do a video someday about my coming out story. This motivates me. Thanks for your story!
Dear Dylan, I am impressed with your story ( realization about life). How truthful and genuine you are! You are so young, but strong. Thank you very much for this authenticity.
I've watched probably well over a hundred coming out videos; many of them heart-warming and inspiring. But this is the best one by far. You touch on so many things that I too experienced, especially my relationship to God and the church. As you said, it took many years before I could finally understand how God loves me as I am and be confident about it. But I still haven't quite gotten over the fact that while in church I felt horrible about myself. That's one of the reasons I don't go today, but I still maintain a relationship with God. I would recommend this video to anyone going thru the coming out process. Insightful, real, and so comprehensive. Thank you!
What a decent and well adjusted young man you are! Congrats to your family too!
He didn't change he just suppressed it
This is one of the best videos that I have seen. Great job!
Excellent story thanks for sharing best wishes for a wonderful life , you are doing everything right 🌈🏳️🌈🇺🇸⭐️👍💙💙💪
Thank you for sharing so much and the journey that it has taken to be your authentic self. It does take awhile, and for a lot of people they don't understand the difficulties that one goes through. I feel that your story explained more and went more indepth. The one true theme is that you have to love and accept yourself first of all or you will never find true happiness.
Very excellent coming out story. You’re coming out story will definitely help many people.
Fantastic!
Phenomenal video. Overall, one of the best Coming Out Stories I've seen, which is literally hundreds. Many excellent points, clearly conveyed and flawlessly delivered. You are a natural for RUclips; you can do a lot of good if you continue to share.
thank you, that is very kind!
@@AdventureParis Buddy i support you nd u are so cool on youtube Lol.
I also grew up in the church. But at 13 my mother gave me the “ok” to decide whether I wanted to go or not. I knew I was gay. And living in Miami at the time, liberal 70’s I did go back to church. Now at 56 I believe in a higher power, and the base foundation to being a good person was set through church at an early age. But the churches idea of god and my idea would be like Me still believing in Santa. When you grow into an adult you let go of childish and mystical things. And who we are is as important to humanity as anyone else. I’m thankful to live when I have, having know people that grew up in a much harsher time. Even my school years weren’t easy. But the potential you and your generation have is nothing short of breathtaking to me. Your so beautiful inside (and out) I’m sorry that you had a hard time when you did. But our path is our own. And I wouldn’t change a thing in mine, no regrets. Remember though you’ve graduated out of biblical belief and into a higher plain, knowledge of exactly who you are and that your god, higher power is with you every step. But I suspect you already know this. I’m with you, everyone that see you for who you are is with you.
Thank care.
Very nice. Good luck on your journey. I hope you find someone as nice as you.
That counsellor. He did NOT change. You can’t change your feelings. He didn’t and now he’s lying actually lying to his wife. And it’s doing a disservice to say that support from family is not one of the most important things for mental health. There is plenty of evidence supporting this. Please look at it. Your story is individual and unique but support is the one most important young people need.
Thank you Dylan for sharing your story. Hugs from Colorado. I’m originally from Wyoming.
Wow thank you Dylan for sharing your story I really appreciate it Bud. This video is definitely helping , I'm 21 & struggling trying to figure out my sexuality.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are a TERRIFIC story teller. Straight forward to the point. That makes this the best coming out story I have seen. My relationship with God has always been great. My relationship with the church? Not so much. And thats okay. Your ex church friends are missing out on a wonderful friend.
To many people spend to much time trying to find god, in a church a community etc. but the god that is best for you.... is the one that’s been with you from day one. The god you have to look no further than your own heart. That honest truth that alway answers. You’ll find in time that your far more spiritual and in touch than most. Just be you. I’m happy for you. You be too. We are very special people, especially to god. Thanks
Whew! Very emotional video and story. I have a couple words of advice for anyone watching this video. First, although you were certain your parents would be fine with your coming out, not all parents will be, so coming out before you are 18 and/or financially independent is a real risk. If you have any doubts about your parents especially if they are fundamentalist Christians just wait. Once you're 18 they can't harm you by whisking you off some some "pray the gay away" camp where you could sustain real emotional harm. Second, as we heard from Dylan most of us have heard lots of hateful messages about being gay and many of us of lots of internalized homophobia. Even Dylan with a gay Uncle struggled with this. For me it manifested itself the first time I had sex with a guy. Waves of guilt and shame. Luckily for me I got over that pretty quickly. Third, lots of gay people want to have a connection to religion. It's so important to find a congregation that is welcoming to gay people. I know in conservative states like Oklahoma they are not the predominant churches but they do exist. United Church of Christ, ELCA, Unitarians to name a few are generally very accepting and great places if you want that type of community. Finally always remember that the day you were born you parents imagined a life for your that did not include being gay. You know, sports star, pretty girlfriend, wife and kids and the American dream. Suddenly this is all gone when you come out and they'll be meeting your boyfriend sometime in the future. Even the best parents will need time to adjust.
Interesting twist in your story. I always knew I was gay and I knew religion and being gay didn't mix, so I told my parents when I was 12 I was atheist, which I think is why I didn't have any internal strife, but didn't come out (I was outed) when I was 20, but this was the 70's, and my parents were super cool about me being gay, but not so much me being an atheist.
Thank u for sharing your story.
Great advice about coming out to your parents and not to have expectations. Good job!
Also great advice throughout the video as well. This is one of the best videos that I have seen. Great job!
So proud of you 💕❤💖
Greetings. So its been 5years. Have you changed your mind?
You might have been surprised how many of us in your small town would accept you no matter what.
I send all my love and support to all the LGBT people of the world ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 You all are important and very valuable even though we live in a world that makes you all believe otherwise. Remember always be proud of who you are 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 You all make from this world a better place ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 LGBT people are a rainbow of love in a world full of hate, but with difference of our straight partners, we all are united over a same flag 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 The flag of LGBT love ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 And we all must be united against hate, violence, discrimination and intolerance ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 We all are like a great family and we must fight to destroy hate ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Remember, LGBT people is love and love always wins ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 I don't care about your race, nationality, biological gender, health condition, religion or any other condition ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 If you are an LGBT person you have all my love and my support ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 You guys are not alone in this fight and all the LGBT people of all over the world needs to understand this messagge, cause just united we will win against hate and we don't have to allow that nothing divide us. Never feel bad of who you are and never allow that this cruel world change who you really are or turn off your light and your shine ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 You all born that way and remember LGBT people of all the world, at the end, love always wins ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Dylan, well done! I see I am 5 years late in seeing your coming out story, but it was very well-expressed. Thank you for sharing. ....so, when I was 23, the age you were when you made this, I was marrying my wife, secretly knowing fully that I was primarily attracted to men. That is how terrified I was. I reasoned that I was bi and could choose to be "straight enough." It would be another 25 years (I am now 55) until we officially divorced. 🫣 Yeah. We remain good friends these past 9 years, and I did get an awesome son from it, so there's that. But Dude! Honesty earlier on would have been much healthier for me.
I blame toxic religion. Specifically Evangelical holier-than-thou zealous brands whose adherents are so cock-sure (pun fully intended) that they know more than anyone else what is right. Religion is truly what people make of it. Too often it seems to be a weapon of judgment and tearing others down. There is such a massive difference between fear-based Christianity (the Pentacostal/Baptist mix I was raised in and that consumes Bible Belt communities) and grace-based faith, which emphasizes Jesus' core message, the beatitudes, love & compassion and emphasis on working on our own self- improvement instead of judging others.
At this point in my metaphysics journey, I am a skeptical agnostic, actually for decades now. I know for a fact that I don't know everything. I am equally sure that those modern-day Pharisees who claim to have the Truth, with a capital "T" as they condemn me, know even less than I do.
I figured out a while back that the power that runs the cosmos is beyond the understanding of any of us. (The Bible even says so.) Want to call that power God? Great! Sounds reasonable to me. But if someone wants to insist that their personal faith cummunity, their one denomination among thousands around the world, has the answers all figured out and that billions of others are doomed to be tormented for all eternity for not adhering to that one groups' pet doctrine, ...that is the opitome of pridefulness (arrogance....not to be confused with lgbtq self-acceptance and social protest Pride). The core fundamentalist teaching, that God is all-powerful, all-knowing, and the epitome of Love, while also creating humans intentionally ignorant and incapable of full comprehension, knowing full well the vast majority will fail to genuinely adopt a specific doctrinal belief and thereby end up condemned for all eternity....not to oblivion, rather, to be tortured forever, ....that Fundamentalist message disproves itself. It is an oxymoron. If omnipotent omniscient God wants us all to believe, [he] is most certainly capable of ensuring we have the uderstanding we need. These fundamentalists just shout "Freewill" while simultaneously teaching that we "choose" to subjugate ourselves and quash any sincere doubts we have, aka "practice FAITH."
THAT is what I mean by "fear-based" religion. The fear message is not loving at all. It is a weapon for social control, and nothing in the human psyche is a more tempting target for that fear tactic than the very person, private, and inevitably quite varied realm of human sexuality. If you ever need to shame and frighten someone into believing they are hopelessly broken and deserving of damnation but that if they will listen to and obey what you have to teach them, look no further than to target their sexuality. It is cynical and abusive, and the Christian church has a massive wrong to atone for in its historic treatment of us.
If you even get to see this and have had the patience to plow through my diatribe, let me suggest a book. It is pro-Christian, but absolutely pro-queer acceptance and makes a powerful case for why affirmation of lgbtq members is the ONLY acceptable course for Christians who actually aspire to follow Christ's teachings, rather that the modern-day 'Murikan obsession with re-defining Jesus to suite Conservative Americans' preferences for dumping shame on poor, queer, and many other marginalized groups, while worshipping guns and money/materialism/capitalism.
The book is called "Unfair: Christians and the LGBT Question." Even a Heathen like myself was rivited reading it. It is affirming and arms the reader with intelligent responses to overly aggressive judgmental messages from (let's presume) well-intentioned but zealous homophobic Christians.
Peace!
Great story, been in your shoes many times. Glad you figured out who you are!
Trevor Thoelke + 9 months ago i support u.
I was like you kinda. I knew I was gay at an early age yet I was a virgin until the age of 25. I had always been told being gay was a sin and God hated me. I dropped my girlfriend off after a night out and cried all the way home. I ask God why and at that moment I felt God's hand on my shoulder and telling me to live my life and that he loved me. So the very next week I over heard men on the construction job I was on talking about the gays downtown so I went out that very weekend. After being out for a year I met my partner at 27 and we are about to celebrate our 32nd. Anniversary. 5 yrs ago I was given 6 weeks to live because I was dying from liver failure. But on the next day I was given a new chance at life through a transplant. During my surgery I had a near death experience and I went to a place and was told it was where the final decision had to be made and at that moment I thought I'm gay so I must be going to hell, but God again told me to go and love because one is judged by what's in their heart my experience was so beautiful I could go on and on but just know God made us gay and he loves us just as we are.
I doubt this comment will ever be read by anyone, but here it goes. I find it fascinating that when people face the reality of their inclinations and have difficulty in accepting that reality they turn to religion or "god." They turn to the major source of their condemnation. I would encourage someone struggling with these question to become educated about homosexuality. Know the history, famous men/women throughout history who were homosexual, what the APA and AMA have stated regarding same sex attractions. Find out the biological component of homosexuality and how other members of the animal kingdom practice this. Know how culture/religion have played a role in the acceptance and rejection of homosexuals. Education is the path to enlightenment and peace. Word of caution, know the source of your research.
Highly recommend the books by oan roughgarden, who is an evolutionary biologist and a trans woman. She is a Stanford Professor Emerita.
Dame, that’s like a perfect family. 😮
"You are loved, you are accepted and it will get better." What planet are you from?
I love your story!
Thank you for sharing your story. Was wondering why you stopped making YT videos.
Ps your Instagram link goes to someone else's profile
Great video. Thanks for sharing your story.
Interesting coming out story told by an engaging story-teller. I appreciate the message that coming out is just the beginning. Even if you are fortunate enough to have family who embrace your sexuality, you still have to contend with societal homophobia, religious homophobia, internalized homophobia (which is really the worst one) and it is an uphill battle. Totally normal if that uphill path is meandering and swerves into a dead end now and then. I have little doubt that if you keep accepting and believing in yourself, you will live a good life.
Wow, really nice video. Glad that you're happy now.
Wow this was recent because I came out in February and Gay age 17,but i haven’t told my mother the only family member I didn’t tell also unlike u California is accepting so I had it easy but again it gets better.
Love yourself first :)
so cute
I can relate about ''Stress Hives'' ... I got them all my life when I had a test, not every time but on;y when I was really worried about it. Like for subjects I didn't like. The weird thing is that my stress hives were ALWAYS on my ankles for some weird reason, haha, weird.
I never had a chance to worry about coming out to my parents though, I got outed by my younger brother who I was arguing with that day, he started screaming that i was a fag during the argument and it all tumbled out from there. I never told him I was gay, he just knew somehow, though my parents didn't until he said that and they confronted us. It all worked out in the end, my parents didn't care if I was gay or not.
Great video- well spoken, and insightful. I go to a gay accepting church.. there are some...
United Church of Christ is one.
Wow, I’ve had a similar upbringing...until I had my first guy kiss, i questioned myself. Than came that kiss, and okay, I am into guys. But, it’s still been a conflicting issue. My question is, how is you faith in God? Are you still spiritual? I too come from a strong Christian family that goes back many generations. I’ve never blamed God, but the way some gays view Christianity is bad, for me, it hurts. Thank you. Be well. Alex
❤️
Your parents sound great!
I thought that you were lucky but then you started to explain how your church & town were homophobic. And then you mentioned your parents’ reaction. At least your mom was concerned with your safety rather than rejecting you. However Matthew Shepherd was murdered in 1998 not the 1970s.
It seemed that you had it so easy but you did go through it.
Hello again Dylan. I remember I had responded to your original posting of your vlog on coming out. It has been five years since, and more time for you to mature. I hope things are still going well for you? I need to ask how your spiritual walk has changed? How is your relationship with Christ now that so many years have passed? How have you navigated the toxic aspect of being gay? Have you found a path that is full filling for you as well as serving the Lord? For example for me to attend and take part in a Pride event has not been a comfortable fit for me, partly because my own personality has never been to please only me, rather it has been one of service to God. It’s like walking a tightrope. Another example is how I naturally have a concern of watching over another brother in Christ by checking in with you to see how your walk in this worldly life has been? I hope your family is well. I hope you don’t take this has being intrusive, rather it’s just a natural part of my own personal journey in service to our Maker. Keeping you in thoughts and prayer. Be well and stay safe. I’m alex from Los Angeles. 💙🙏
You have just neatly illustrated what is toxic, not about being gay, but of the fundamentalist Christian message that gay people are inherently at odds with the creator of the universe. Not okay at all for you to promote this idea!
Hi handsome ❤
But very inspiring in the end.
of all the guys whove come out, i like you d best
Religion is horrible... To believe in something that can never be proven..
Why Is Disneyland the be all and end all.
It seems that heterosexuality was just a passing phase for you!
Nice video, but a little long.
Agreed about the coffee. More importantly, when you are good looking and you smile, you get it for free at Starbucks 😬
Thank you for sharing. The whole gay thing is very tramatizing. It is what it is.
Great video very interesting, you’re so damn cute
so cute