I think trauma for me and my siblings has culminated with depression, anxiety, suicide, victimization. Learning about trauma and resilience has helped me heal.
i was the healthy one and i suffered a tragic life by lies of my famy seeking a scapegoat to not face truth. i even got a second chance. it took me 24 years to get to that place to fix my life to have the master of charmed miracles i did this not with no dr. as no dr cared about trauma. i was left to either swim alone or die. at hands of insane drs an my fathers lie. he is a murderer now. because four years ago someone wanted to makes sure after i survived and could talk , and as i listen to his family issue. its not impossible that my sister the control freak controller nazie who knew she could not fool me and what kind of person i was was the saint who knows she was sick. and so did friends. They said one day she most of al was going to kill me .i was left in between hell and horror in pain o untreated trauma but not drugs or substance. i did the haul alone. i was my own best dr and god. my boss was heroin addict and alcohol drugs from sexual abuse and sometimes he acted out and i wa probably a blessing in his life he insulted . i landed a job still dissociated and by time he died i had become an articulate genius in regain my life. i did not stop progress . a few sick people had an idea on how to fuck me up and one of them is an ex a creep punk. who is violent and jealous and to remove god and any means fo me to speak and be left to the medical profession in four years did not do what i new had to be done and left me so that punks and criminals got to me and tortured the 24 years out of me an this sister got her wish off me and lead to my death. induce cancer on me they are working for her. i even told them sent them the link to this movie where one fuck up sister said i was jealous of her and so far rom truth its sad. for four years i was beaten up tortured raped my mind stalked gang stalked an some creeps got to me while wounded and tore shit out of my mind. u can not know i man same person and cousin. also. my family were fuck up and i had come out of torture normal. and i paid a price for my being the healthy one. someone needed to file criminal charges. and find out all who was involved in my murder.. My sister is the sick one in family who is run from herself and was to visible to me as expert. i and my friend did not feel she was wonderful . and she knows that . before i got sick to die from what has gone in in four years as i reached like it. i was deprived of love cut off from god and i was like an animal drown in shark infested waters trying to keep alive and beg to unresponsive persons who abuse me i hope they die in hell an im not afraid to say that. i was the most good natured victim and walked away from fuck up got the it life and this wicked evil woman stalked me to shut me up and make sure i di not survive and wanted to shover her madness an ideas on a expert. now i lost my life i hope with this someone find a way to put them in place they put me hell..
i was dosed with evil life and my sibling s not. they just had the normal does of life in a toxic house. I was tortured and they were not. i suffered for their fails and i got to escape . as result of my not being cancer depression alcohol drugs from their madness on me. was sentenced to die again. and mutilated. and to make sure that iw as mentally and have all the worst now. from the best. if someone is educted to trauma the would been making sure that i was not left unheard and made sure i did not go down from up and ignore me and do same games. alot of lies on my family i was the straight honest one. i would qualify for euthanasia now..
I just found this channel yesterday evening. And I absolutely LOVE it!! I can't believe somebody like Dr. Ham exist. He's got the most soft pacifist voice Jesus would have been jealous of and so on the point articulate but in the same time be able to swear and talk about the Hulk! I wish you were my Dad :'( Thanks Doc! Keep up shearing your magic!
A thousand moments, a million moments...yeah that describes it. So many people are looking for the dramatic stuff but when you look at your childhood as moments of fear & worthlessness, that's the core.
Wow, just wow! I was led here this morning, and I can identify so much with this story. I'm so glad that I never gave up. Thank you for having the courage to tell your story. I have many, many A.C.E.S. and am struggling.
When you talked about your ace questions, “when you were tiny, did anyone scare the shit out of you”and etc, I really felt seen. Because when reading about traumas and stuff, it is like that my hurt doesn’t even count as the small Ts. No one beat me, or touched me, it is only my father being scary so that I can stop crying. But I was so scared by him that when he’s at home, I’d go to the kitchen from balcony only to avoid seeing him. When I was a kid, I thought he hit me, but all my families said that he never hit me, only scared me with his angry face. He really scared the shit out of me. I still feel uncomfortable, if not edged at all anytime I am with him.
Darrell, thanks for sharing ur horrific story with us. I'm so sorry this happened to u and that no one helped u end it. I hope ur living with peace and with loads of love coming from all the ppl around u. U sound lovable and human and totally deserving of love.
"What I need for myself is to; for the people who love me to know that I have a Hulk and sometimes he comes roaring out and then as soon as the Hulk is gone I'm gonna be back but please don't mistake me for my Hulk."
Wow. This made me gasp with the sheer validation I felt listening to this. I cried, I laughed (Hulk!) and I have found new hope. Thank you Darrell, Michelle and Jacob, from the bottom of mine and my Hulk's heart. You're all amazing xx
thank you! Did you see that we are going to have another conversation on 10/28 at 5? i posted the news on my channel. I think in the community section. Or you can go to www.crackedupmovie.com/register for more info. We are going to be talking about the Art of Attunement
Hi Jacob, oops I missed your message and the conversation 10/28- are you going to put this on YT please? I'd love to hear it. So lovely to hear back from you!
Powerful stuff, from age 8-13 my mother was pure evil, I ran from my mother on numerous occasions, I us to hide from her in the dog house behind our home, it become my safe house, i lov this guy, stating, he never got a childhood, so f dead on and true
@@JacobHamPhD I sobered up in AA in 2008, and in 2012 I started recovering very disturbing memories from childhood, it's been a painful journey of growing, healing, pealing the onion back, cleaning the deep dark painful wounds and allowing the healing of the soul, one day at a time. This video clip resonates with me, only instead of it being Jenny it was me, and instead of Jenny's father, it was my mother, I spent years running and hiding like she did. ruclips.net/video/qq5NWgSa0iA/видео.html
I was sentenced to the scapegoat place in life. then i realized that god was great and that people who tried to abuse me out of possible i was with god, were not to change an not sell my soul to them. it took years to rise up and i knew as i got there murder would happen to. every sick person was put in my path to abuse me and i had retain character and was rising up as talent. so i was done in and they did a ver evil on me i was to smart for, and a fuk up man who has issues he has not faced and has alot of winged monkeys. as i began to die i was at Mt Sinai hospital for other things related to failures to remove me to heal from a serious trauma and abuse. No one spoke of this man despite itold the about this movie and Drkotbie. . someone could have saved my life.. and did not.
so how does someone see this dr.when there is no replies no answer phone calls and more so if someone might caught this before it went to fatal and responsive .. that tenacity to survive torture and abuse is over all sickness is cosume me. of torture on torture on rape wounds and left to die in toxic
I think trauma for me and my siblings has culminated with depression, anxiety, suicide, victimization. Learning about trauma and resilience has helped me heal.
i was the healthy one and i suffered a tragic life by lies of my famy seeking a scapegoat to not face truth. i even got a second chance. it took me 24 years to get to that place to fix my life to have the master of charmed miracles i did this not with no dr. as no dr cared about trauma. i was left to either swim alone or die. at hands of insane drs an my fathers lie. he is a murderer now. because four years ago someone wanted to makes sure after i survived and could talk , and as i listen to his family issue. its not impossible that my sister the control freak controller nazie who knew she could not fool me and what kind of person i was was the saint who knows she was sick. and so did friends. They said one day she most of al was going to kill me .i was left in between hell and horror in pain o untreated trauma but not drugs or substance. i did the haul alone. i was my own best dr and god. my boss was heroin addict and alcohol drugs from sexual abuse and sometimes he acted out and i wa probably a blessing in his life he insulted . i landed a job still dissociated and by time he died i had become an articulate genius in regain my life. i did not stop progress . a few sick people had an idea on how to fuck me up and one of them is an ex a creep punk. who is violent and jealous and to remove god and any means fo me to speak and be left to the medical profession in four years did not do what i new had to be done and left me so that punks and criminals got to me and tortured the 24 years out of me an this sister got her wish off me and lead to my death. induce cancer on me they are working for her. i even told them sent them the link to this movie where one fuck up sister said i was jealous of her and so far rom truth its sad. for four years i was beaten up tortured raped my mind stalked gang stalked an some creeps got to me while wounded and tore shit out of my mind. u can not know i man same person and cousin. also. my family were fuck up and i had come out of torture normal. and i paid a price for my being the healthy one. someone needed to file criminal charges. and find out all who was involved in my murder.. My sister is the sick one in family who is run from herself and was to visible to me as expert. i and my friend did not feel she was wonderful . and she knows that . before i got sick to die from what has gone in in four years as i reached like it. i was deprived of love cut off from god and i was like an animal drown in shark infested waters trying to keep alive and beg to unresponsive persons who abuse me i hope they die in hell an im not afraid to say that. i was the most good natured victim and walked away from fuck up got the it life and this wicked evil woman stalked me to shut me up and make sure i di not survive and wanted to shover her madness an ideas on a expert. now i lost my life i hope with this someone find a way to put them in place they put me hell..
i was dosed with evil life and my sibling s not. they just had the normal does of life in a toxic house. I was tortured and they were not. i suffered for their fails and i got to escape . as result of my not being cancer depression alcohol drugs from their madness on me. was sentenced to die again. and mutilated. and to make sure that iw as mentally and have all the worst now. from the best. if someone is educted to trauma the would been making sure that i was not left unheard and made sure i did not go down from up and ignore me and do same games. alot of lies on my family i was the straight honest one. i would qualify for euthanasia now..
Yes.
I just found this channel yesterday evening. And I absolutely LOVE it!!
I can't believe somebody like Dr. Ham exist. He's got the most soft pacifist voice Jesus would have been jealous of and so on the point articulate but in the same time be able to swear and talk about the Hulk! I wish you were my Dad :'(
Thanks Doc! Keep up shearing your magic!
A thousand moments, a million moments...yeah that describes it. So many people are looking for the dramatic stuff but when you look at your childhood as moments of fear & worthlessness, that's the core.
Yeah and the healing takes a million moments in reverse, filled with love and worth.
Wow, just wow! I was led here this morning, and I can identify so much with this story. I'm so glad that I never gave up. Thank you for having the courage to tell your story. I have many, many A.C.E.S. and am struggling.
When you talked about your ace questions, “when you were tiny, did anyone scare the shit out of you”and etc, I really felt seen. Because when reading about traumas and stuff, it is like that my hurt doesn’t even count as the small Ts. No one beat me, or touched me, it is only my father being scary so that I can stop crying. But I was so scared by him that when he’s at home, I’d go to the kitchen from balcony only to avoid seeing him. When I was a kid, I thought he hit me, but all my families said that he never hit me, only scared me with his angry face. He really scared the shit out of me. I still feel uncomfortable, if not edged at all anytime I am with him.
This is one of the most amazing conversations I've heard in a long long while. Thankyou
Darrell, thanks for sharing ur horrific story with us. I'm so sorry this happened to u and that no one helped u end it. I hope ur living with peace and with loads of love coming from all the ppl around u. U sound lovable and human and totally deserving of love.
Thank you for this. I passed your message along...
Grateful for you and your work, Dr. Ham. Blessings.🙏
"What I need for myself is to; for the people who love me to know that I have a Hulk and sometimes he comes roaring out and then as soon as the Hulk is gone I'm gonna be back but please don't mistake me for my Hulk."
Wow.
This made me gasp with the sheer validation I felt listening to this.
I cried, I laughed (Hulk!) and I have found new hope.
Thank you Darrell, Michelle and Jacob, from the bottom of mine and my Hulk's heart. You're all amazing xx
thank you! Did you see that we are going to have another conversation on 10/28 at 5? i posted the news on my channel. I think in the community section. Or you can go to www.crackedupmovie.com/register for more info. We are going to be talking about the Art of Attunement
Hi Jacob, oops I missed your message and the conversation 10/28- are you going to put this on YT please? I'd love to hear it. So lovely to hear back from you!
Thank you - thank you
Welcome!
Powerful stuff, from age 8-13 my mother was pure evil, I ran from my mother on numerous occasions, I us to hide from her in the dog house behind our home, it become my safe house, i lov this guy, stating, he never got a childhood, so f dead on and true
thank you for sharing so others don't feel so alone
@@JacobHamPhD I sobered up in AA in 2008, and in 2012 I started recovering very disturbing memories from childhood, it's been a painful journey of growing, healing, pealing the onion back, cleaning the deep dark painful wounds and allowing the healing of the soul, one day at a time.
This video clip resonates with me, only instead of it being Jenny it was me, and instead of Jenny's father, it was my mother, I spent years running and hiding like she did.
ruclips.net/video/qq5NWgSa0iA/видео.html
Shalom-
How do you get over this. When 99%of the time your alone. Just listening I am getting so overly hot. Sweating.
Yeah, it's tough to get over if you're alone. There are always growth edges if you look hard enough though.
I was sentenced to the scapegoat place in life. then i realized that god was great and that people who tried to abuse me out of possible i was with god, were not to change an not sell my soul to them. it took years to rise up and i knew as i got there murder would happen to. every sick person was put in my path to abuse me and i had retain character and was rising up as talent. so i was done in and they did a ver evil on me i was to smart for, and a fuk up man who has issues he has not faced and has alot of winged monkeys. as i began to die i was at Mt Sinai hospital for other things related to failures to remove me to heal from a serious trauma and abuse. No one spoke of this man despite itold the about this movie and Drkotbie. . someone could have saved my life.. and did not.
maybe being alone is better than being in toxic. go with god.
so how does someone see this dr.when there is no replies no answer phone calls and more so if someone might caught this before it went to fatal and responsive .. that tenacity to survive torture and abuse is over all sickness is cosume me. of torture on torture on rape wounds and left to die in toxic
5:09