I find flirting is disgusting. It is a superficial exchange of predictable words and gestures. But randomly starting a conversation with a weird deep phylosophycal idea, or an intimate sincere feeling, which then develops into unexpected exchanges of thoughts and emotions... damn that is so sexy.
@@rinrietyunlihag6045 superficial is merely just a categorization of experience, it doesn't necessarily mean it isn't reality. Also, you sure you're an INTP? Most INTPs aren't easily disgusted
@@ToastLabs Yes, and I'd agree 100% with you if we were talking about idk, spices to put in a sauce for some spaghettis, where I could talk about the "real deep flavour", but in the end every little bit of spice and experience make up the whole reality. But when we come to talk about human beings, I feel that the "reality" most people live in are just old reptilian brain methods, instintcs, or cultural bias. I find those things optional. For instance, when girls tried to flirt with me with old-proven-methods, culturally/biologically accepted... I felt them uninteresting. Idk if I can really make me understand, but it is something like: "why would an interesting person need to use a pack of premade canned routines?" It doesn't feel genuine, pure. It doesn't seem that a person who likes those rituals will ever be able to understand nor accept me. Yes, I am an INTP, I spent three whole days researching until I was relatively sure I wasn't an INTJ. I am kinda stoic. I don't FEEL disgusted by flirting, I just find it abstractly bad if I perceive people holistically. It is... incompatible with my ethics system or my ideal of how the people should work in my dreamworld. But I lately realised that explaining things with feelings attached make them a little more understandable by other people. After years of training I managed to relatively understand feelings and translate them into logic so I can take them into account for rational decisions; that also allowed me to put them into explanations so they are coherent. Or at least I try to. I also convinced myself that feelings are worth it, so I usually like to go full introspection and look them half from outside half from inside until I realise what is going on. And that helped me in some aspects of life. I hope It made sense.
@@rinrietyunlihag6045 makes very much sense and yeah you're definitely an INTP I'm sure of that now lmao. I'm an INTP, probably younger than you, I'm only 20 :p I like flirting, I like the whole pre-canned experience, the issue is I'm so awkward idk what to do about it, probably novelty + dopamine appealing to the Si child. I'll admit I'm a pretty unhealthy intp but I'm tryna fix that
INTP romantic life-hacks: "I don't like to take the initiative and I'll probably see it as intrusive if you do it. I just want the circumstances to someway put us together so that we can start talking. But if you were to manipulate the circumstances in order to make it happen, I wouldn't be mad. In fact, that would really impress me"
"But if you were to manipulate the circumstances in order to make it happen, I wouldn't be mad." Exactly, I don´t want to take the initiative and it feels intrusive if the other part takes it. I want to manipulate the flow so that it brings us togetether in an "natural" way. Taking the initiative feels so unelegant, crude and forced - it shouldn´t work. Sadly the world somehow works like this.
Best trick for a dating site is to create a really original profile(poem or funny short story) then wait for the comments to come in. it gets the conversation going.
Like seriously. Who and where are these wonderfully insane people that actually want an INTP? Like you know I am walking brainstorm... you want that? You do? Im stoked, im wanted, for me!
condotiero Do those actually exist though? Maybe they do for INTP males. I think as an INTP female, people usually feel slightly threatened by my discussions. Although I try to get that Fe empathy thing going.
Wait no, this is valuable insight. Why though??? We'll avoid all people. But if you put a nice meal, we'll forgo the plausible embarrassment. Like there is turkey at Thanksgiving but we'll avoid that too. What's the threshold? Personal tolerance? Age? Training?
I find that calls are actually getting more efficient for me since the conversation flows more quickly (with people I’m close to, at least). Finding a good moment to end them is a pain, though.
i doubt myself if I am an INTP untill I see your comment ;)) Yeah, it should be a great idea to discuss about Carl Jung and Jordan Peterson 's Theories in our first date
INTP here. One time I was on a date but I had no clue until the guy tried to kiss me. Thought we were just hanging out and that it was super nice of him to buy me dinner 😂😂😂 thankfully he wasnt offended by my cluelessness.
Me, an INTP sitting on my couch in my comfy clothes, eating and drinking wine, wondering why people have so many feelings and trying to figure out why/how to deal with other people's feelings. Forever awkward.
31 year old INTP and figured out how to be alpha. Reddit's "TRP" (the red pill) solved everything. Been with my girlfriend for 8 months and couldn't be happier. Lift weights and work on yourself. You'll be golden!
INTP female, can relate, I'm dating an ESFJ and it has gone well till recently, probably due to my inconsistent amount of affection :D I honestly wouldn't even be surprised if he broke up with me.. Edit: uh, yeah.. I think you can imagine what happened lol
You allow them that close? I check people out from a distance sort of do a 3d brainscan or them and if they get too close I turn my back. If they speak behind me and I analyze their voice to be in the green I'll turn around again and ask questions like... "So what's your cunning plan?" This strategy has not worked.
The stages of finding love for an INTP 1. Finding someone who is physically attractive to them 2. Finding someone who is smart enough 3. Finding someone who has an acceptable MBTI 4. Finding someone who likes INTP's 5. Finding someone who we get along with 6. Finding someone who likes us back 7. Finding someone who likes us romantically 8. Finding someone who finds us also compatible 9. Finding someone who is not already taken I could run the math on this, but someone who is actually an acceptable mate for an INTP who also likes an INTP back and wants to be with us is very difficult.
me, an intp: creates a fictional character with all characteristics I adore me: takes the mbti test for said character *turns out to be an entj* makes sense
We also have the INTP tendency to overanalyze potential relationships/interactions and make conclusions based on past experiences and whatever information we have about that person. The committment phobia doesn't really stem from just wanting to explore other options, but also from constantly running simulations of potential dating outcomes when it comes to meeting new people. That ability, or belief that we can foresee how a relationship with a specific person would play out. Being overly logical when dating, and excluding potential matches on percieved disastrous possibilities.
Studies also indicate that minimal knowledge about a person prior to dating produces more favorable outcomes than knowing "too much." Our expectations are too high if we take the plunge to date a person we have analyzed with great specificity. Despite these results, there is no way I would not gather all information available about the fellow before dating him. Because so what if I'm wrong? The relationship fails, it hurts for a bit, but I gain an improved mental model for better assessments/predictions next time.
@@gretagrotto5858 Intresting comment. I came cross this study too, but I don't think that the results apply to INTPs, for the Ne, which always keeps an open mind about a person, even with the initial knowledge we have about them. I've spoken to numerous people online, without seeing them and, surprisingly, when I eventually met them fin persosn, they were exactly the same people I took them for, when we spoke in text, or over the phone. However, sensors specifically, and people who aren't precise in their language or honest in their communication, are better off meeting sooner than later, as they are more likely to develop unreasonable expectations/ fall into fantasies/ project or run into a misundersanding (mainly from lacking the non-verbal channels of communication), which will result in severing the link, because ... to most people, it's just easy to do if they haven't met a person.
This is me but with my 'friends' as they want me to call them. No matter how good they are to me I can't stop overanalyzing our relationship and it sucks
INTPs can actually be very affectionate and playful. For me personally (as an INTP) it's just that there's a barrier there that needs to be overcome before my affectionate side comes out and for me i'm very affectionate with animals, children, and anything that needs to be protected I guess, I feel as if i'm very 'squishy' and that quality in myself bothers me, so I do my best to always maintain my composure. Most people will not see my goofy adorable side, I generally tend to keep that hidden behind a mask of intellectual rationality, but do not exhude enough of an aura of definiteness that would make that mask appealing to people of the opposite sex -- and those who are not interested in intellectual topics might feel a bit alienated which further lowers the amount of interested parties in my dating pool, as well as other quirks (for example, I like to get right to the point of things instead of stopping and smelling the roses). On the other hand i've always found myself drawn to NTJs. They just have a sort of confidence and definiteness about them that I find appealing. I on the other hand am more hesitant and judicious.
Don't feel bad about it, being goofy is a turn off for most women. Just tone down the intellectual stuff and stay in your masculine rational frame try to let the woman do most of the talking so you don't accidentally talk yourself out of her initial attraction towards you. Women love to talk anyways they get oxytocin out of it. In regards to conversation topics, it should be dry (what intellectuals consider dry), in the sense that it should be about getting to know the other person more. With women, you can try to talk about relationships. For example, you observe a couple at another dinner table and ask the girl "do you think the girl is sexually satisfied with that man". That example is not a very good one, but much better than intellectual talk. Intellectual talk turns a pussy drier than a desert. Keeping your composure and being rational IS attractive, you just don't know that yet because you are not going out of your way to meet many women. INTPs have gotten the biggest hurdle down in regards to being successful with women, that is the composure. Most guys can only dream of being ridden off the nervousness and anxiety women cause them. Women know when you are nervous, they all know, and it isn't attractive to them. With some small adjustments to your verbal behaviour and body language, you can implement the definiteness to make it even more appealing. And being goofy, affectionate, adorable and playful is a big turn off. Most men report a decrease in attraction after their girlfriends see them cry and some women even break up with their men because they saw them cry. A man being emotional is not attractive to women is my point. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but it is what I have observed in men that are most successful with women and I have applied this myself over the last years and it works. You can try it yourself as an experiment, nothing to lose except a bit of time. The biggest hurdle for INTPs would be the quasi-autism that impedes the understanding of social situations and social cues. For example, subtle things that women express like indicators of interests or certain ambiguous phrases they use to communicate something naughty. We tend to overthink in this regards. For example, a woman pats you on the shoulder multiple times "she could like me, but maybe she is just being friendly, or maybe this or that or this." Basically, we apply rigorous logic and Ne to our own conclusions, making us socially rusty. Fortunately, this can be fixed if we adhere to definiteness and just assume that she likes us rather than analyzing the behaviour. It is a problem of overthinking. Next is applying the same subtle language towards women themselves. You don't say "let's have sex in my room", you say "I want to show you a book, it is on my shelf." You don't even mention your room in that sentence because it will make the woman feel slutty. All of this crap works, just read good sources of people that are natural with women or have had a lot of experience. I learned all of this from my INTJ friend that also struggled with women.
@@bluegiant13 You're making a lot of mistakes, depending on your goals. If you're looking to sleep with a lot of women, your position may be justified. But if your goal is to get into a relationship (which I think most INTPs are more interested in) then you're really missing the point. Pretending to be someone else, to not be emotional, or not be goofy, or whatever, may have short term results but won't provide the long term satisfaction of comfort or vulnerability that makes a fulfilling relationship. Your rules like "don't be emotional in front of a woman" may be correct as a generalization, but instead of trying to fit yourself into an optimal mould, you should look for a partner who vibes with your particular qualities. Plenty of women want an emotional partner, they're not a monolith any more than all men are monolithically stoic and headstrong. tl;dr this is bad advice if you're looking for a long term partner. Be yourself right off the bat, which will quickly thin your dating pool to people who appreciate you authentically. edit: obviously you still have to practice your social skills. But straight up pretending to be someone else is not fulfilling. I've been through that phase and it wasn't a good time for me.
Just love this comment. I'm an INTJ married to an INTP for 13yrs now. Yes, my husband is incredibly sweet and affectionate, and playful. He's also really good with the kids, much more hands on than a lot of dads. I have to say the thing that helped us when we were dating to get comfortable enough to just be goofy/real with each other was that we shared a lot of intellectual interests in common. He could bring up a totally nerdy science topic and we would have fun discussing it together. I think that making it clear from the beginning how much you value the intellect of your INTP and engaging said intellect is a winning combo.
I have seen his goofy side, his affectionate and squishy side and I feel hard for him. But when he did things that hurt me, I think he is just playing with my emotions and decided to distance myself from liking this INTP man.
I mostly agree and her top 2 picks for INTPs were great. I don't know if I agree about those Fs, though. But, in fairness, I never go beyond ENTJ and INTJ if I can help it. I will initiate contact with those 2, because I know how rare it is for me to like or want anyone. When I found my first BF, an ENTJ, I wouldn't allow him to talk to his friend - I held on like a pitbull and won him over. I knew it was a once-in-a-bluemoon opportunity and refused to let that pass me by. The other men I dated I knew immediately that they were temporary and they initiated contact. I wouldn't waste my time pursuing them, yet was open to them making all of the effort.
I think that the reason INTPs stay single longer is because we want to keep our options open. It’s more because we need a very good reason to commit. Commitment signifies that the other party will be there always. That’s a LOT to accept from the INTP’s standpoint.
conquest /ˈkɒŋkwɛst/ a person whose affection or favour has been won. ------- It's a fact so why would she resent it? She's an NT... You must be one of those F types...
@@GeekyGizmo007 Haha, nope. INTP. Female. Colloquially, when you refer to someone as a conquest, you're referring to success with sex, not love, usually as one of a string of conquests. And the person conquered is usually not happy when you move on to the next one. Also, from a petite, female's POV, since the word 'conquer' is also linked to aggressive behavior, that word makes me nervous on principle. And since you added nothing to your last sentence to moderate your tone, like a smiley face, I also infer that you meant it to be derogatory, which is not nice either. If you speak to others the same way, you may incur more resentment than you realize, just so you know. Not trying to bust your chops, just sharing some insight ;)
@@DreamQuillRose she was a conquest. But she also conquered me, which is why I did not move on to the next one and decided to marry her. To conquer doesn't necessarily mean aggressive behavior, but it does mean assertive behavior. Yes, I was assertive...or else I would not have succeeded. One can conquer another in a game of chess with assertiveness. Aggressiveness will end in a flipped board and scattered pieces. I did not intend for my statement to be derogatory. Only a statement of assumption proven incorrect. I should have ended it with a ?
@@GeekyGizmo007 Hmm... Well, the word "conquering" in a game, such as chess, is not as potentially offensive as saying that one has conquered another human being, since when someone is conquered, there is a winner and a loser. Who doesn't resent being a loser, i.e. being subjugated to someone else's dominance? A smiley face after declaring that you dominated someone lets people know you meant it more gently, i.e. assertive rather than aggressive.
Omg, the flirting thing, I dated a guy, he took me to a bar, afterwards he was like upset because some guy was flirting with me, and I was like, really, who, when, where, I missed it completely
Im a male intp. I married an infj. I was single till i was 35 with no hope insight. Marriage is difficult for the intp but if you know your personality type i really think you have a fighting chance. My infj and i could not love each other more and she treats me like a puppy dog and i love it!
As an INTP i found this video very accurate, and good point about not initiating. Usually doesn't even occur to me to further the relationship and even if it does i have no sense of urgency.
My views are almost the opposite - I dislike or am disinterested in most people, so when I find someone i like, I can be quite assertive. I know the person is a gold coin amount a pile of wooden nickels and so grab on tight.
An ENTJ female will tell you directly and honestly why they like you. My advice: make yourself noticeable to her and she will beeline it to you. I love brooding types sitting in the corner of the room with a hoodie on judging the world, preferably a cashmere hoodie in a complimentary color. Haha. I want to know what that person thinks, the more subjects the better. I’m a bottomless pit of curiosity. I want to know what insights this person has. I can do small chit chat so someone feels comfortable around me but if the conversation doesn’t become deeply intellectual, I’m bored and move on. Unless the person is funny, I’ll stick around for the laughs. Cheers!
@@entjfemme7032 Hi there. Having only just noticed and yet to more than glance at you, It should be small surprise that at present I have nothing more to communicate than my pleasure at finding what looks to prove a fresh and valuable new source of deaired and detailex information. Thanks in advance for making videos sharing your experience and perspectives. I'll probably provide some thoughts of my own once I've consumed enough of yours.
I'm a female INTP too. When we dont act like a typical girls, we are called different names for that!!!! It's not just in dating! In general Smart girls are hated by men and women, both!
INTP here, and I agree with pretty much everything you said. If anything, I wish you'd have gone into more detail about the dynamics between INTP's and the last 3 "most compatible" types! INTJ's are especially slippery because we share zero of their functions. They're hard to read (probably due to their Fi), and they make me somewhat uncomfortable sometimes. INFJ's seem to be the one's that are the most naturally understanding and accepting of INTP faults and idiosyncrasies. They can read what we're too afraid to express. That can be disturbing, but it's also comforting because they tend to love us no matter what. The main problem we face with them is their aversion to conflict. They keep quiet on their own needs, we're bad at sensing them, and they eventually begin to resent us when we fail to read their minds. When they grow forever distant and we don't understand why, it can break a part of us that never truly heals or feels comfortable trusting love again.
I'll be revisiting each type many types on this channel! Also thank you for this comment!
4 года назад+6
Stephanie Mitchell So weird, INTP here too. I said weird because it's the opposite in my view. I have an INTJ friend and for some reason I can read her mind with ease. However, I have an INFJ friend who usually gets a bit tired and irritated of my personality and way of discussijg things very quickly.
I have a pretty interesting experience with these two types (as an INTP) because I've had two long term relationships, the first with an INTJ and the second with an INFJ. I was with the INTJ girlfriend from 16-24, and our relationship was pretty good, lots of ideas been thrown around and tempered through each of our strengths. We definitely had an understanding of how the other person thought and how their thinking could enhance our own. I definitely worked my Fe muscle in that relationship and did most of the emotional repair and heavy lifting. It wasn't strictly intellectual, there was a lot of affection too. She did most of the planning and organizational stuff, which I am only now getting a hang of. Unfortunately the emphasis on intellectual partnership resulted in a lack of passion and we ended up as very good friends but not really in a romantic relationship. Now I am with an INFJ (24-31) and had to re-learn how to emotionally support someone. I am eternally grateful because we (okay, mostly she) figured out early on that she needed to be explicit about her own needs in order for me to be able to act, which I think for her was difficult because being explicit about feelings for her doesn't feel like she's receiving as much support. Fortunately, over time this has resulted in me being able to do all the things she needs to be supported without her asking, because she explicitly taught me and I was willing to accept her feelings and adapt my strategies. Many of the things she needs feel counterintuitive to me. I, like many other INTPs in the comments, want to comfort by pointing out facts about how to avoid scenarios like that in the future, or pointing out tricks to distract yourself or change your perspective, but these are not effective strategies for her (and I'm assuming other F types). We were highly conscious of the trap Stephanie described where INFJs are conflict avoidant and eventually resent and withdraw because we can't meet their needs. It really took both of us doing things that are hard for us, working through conflict (because our types are both feelings-conflict avoidant), learning alternate strategies, being explicit (for her), learning to read implicit clues (for me), for for us to translate our affection and desire to be together into something not just workable, but as close to ideal as I could imagine.
You're right about us infj's. I liked an intp in school and tried so hard to show him I was interested without actually saying the words. I knew his pitfalls but I didn't mind because I also saw how pure his heart was. He kept missing my signs and I he was just so cold. eventually grew really tired of having to chase him and the closest thing to any sort of interest he showed was being friendly once in a while. Years later I heard from a mutual friend that he was "in love" with me but never took action because he didn't believe he could ever get a woman like me. It pained me to hear that because I can see how fulfilling our relationship could be.
The hard part for me as an INTP male is shutting off my brain. I’m constantly overthinking and social/romantic situations probably bring this out at its worst as I am in my head instead of picking up and reading and reacting to social cues. I know this is a problem, but telling an INTP not to think is like telling them not to breathe.
When my current ENFJ girlfriend first told me she liked me I shut down in silence for a full hour trying to process the fact that a girl actually liked me. When we had our first kiss, she gave me the power to decide whether or not to do it. I had never kissed a girl before, but after about 45 minutes of blank staring and processing I managed to kiss her. I then fell to the floor in shock about what I just did. As much as I don’t like these personality type tests and whatnot, it’s still interesting to see how relatable the type I got is to how I am.
Don’t cap about not liking the MBTI because you commented on an INTP video that you know good and well you looked up and viewed other videos about it as well.
*Is INTP* Her: "I like you" Me: "fr? Why?" Other time, non-romantic friendship, in my head: "Oh, she's crying, we didn't talk about this before hand, what're the boundaries rn? Should I comfort her? Should I let her close friends comfort her? Do I look like a jerk rn? I really hope this doesn't come across as jerk-ish."
as an INTP female I’m more drawn to NF males, introvert ones with a huge gap. I find their Emotional Intelligence as a Man very exquisite and mysterious. ENFPs make great friends and a lot fun in common but too butterfly-ish as a partner. dated an ENTJ for 3 years, bossy, possessive and conflicted with my independence
When I was 6 years old, I walked up to a girl I never met before, and gave her my whole wallet. It had like 5 bucks in it. I didn't say anything, I then walked away and wondered if she would follow me. Yeah. "Slightly awkward" is not quite sufficient to describe it.
When someone tell me, “i miss you”. My answer usually “no! u don’t miss me. I’m just part of your routine.” My ENFJ ex boyfriend hates me. He said i am too cold and heartless, and i told him that he is not logical, and doesn’t have the ability to separate feeling and problems to make solid decisions.. I think we (intp & enfj) are doom from the start
I'm an ENFJ, my ex girlfriend is an INTP. I was never bothered by the fact that she was "cold", I still liked her as a person. As soon as she built up distance because of whatever reason (right before we broke up), it kinda hit me hard. And I think it only seems like INTPs are cold and heartless but actually they do feel something, they just don't want to admit. I can't tell exactly how an INTP does feel, but I know how an INTP thinks. Edit: ENFJ and INTP are actually a pretty good match. They can learn from each other and have a fun time. Also, they could discuss feelings more open which sadly didn't work out for me. They can misunderstand each other, but if they really liked each other, they wouldn't. That's the experience I made.
I hate it... because it is true. "You have to position yourself to be found by these types".... HOW?! Does this mean i just sit around in public and wait until someone talks to me? This seems to be very ineffective for me. Additionally i would need to be in public spaces which makes me uncomfortable enough.
and sitting in the public place, u might at some point get into some reading, and right at this moment when u really prefer to stay with this reading someone approaches u
Not just in public spaces. Seek for places where you can speak up and others can hear your unusual INTPish thoughts and opinions. For example, debate or book club. All the men, who were attracted to me, female INTP, did so because they noticed my quirky mind from the distance, and then approached me to discuss all the strange stuff I was talking about. You can just sit anywhere minding your own business, but, unless you are really pretty or catch the eye, it'll take sooo long for anyone to approach you.
Yeah this is what im trying to do as much as i can. Go to a quiet bar alone and sit with a drink staring at the wall or shit like this. Can't make myself go to places where i have to talk, but at least that.
INTPs trying to date and find love in a nutshell: Imagine you are a person who struggles with understanding their own emotions, and are thrown into a scenario where you must also grasp and decode another person's emotions and feelings for you. You naturally have oblivious tendencies due to lacking this emotional depth, and intellectually you commonly doubt and view things with uncertainty until further testing is done, which means that you won't be as likely to even pick up when somebody has an interest in you. The courting process naturally involves a lot of subtlety and game playing, which is another form of emotional battle where feelings are only teased or hinted at, not openly spoken, which clashes with the part of the INTP that is more drawn towards bluntness and honesty. You would think to yourself, "If (insert name here) liked me, surely they would just tell me?" because you can only think of things in your own terms at times and struggle imagining other people handling situations differently than you.
The problem of dating as an INTP is being male Females really want guys to initiate, and to keep the spark going. Sorry.... i will turn into my "boring" self after a week of being together. I'm really bad at entertaining you through dates/activities. I'd prefer if we could watch netflix and eat snacks whole night
Fellow INTPs, I've recently discovered something that I think holds us all back. OUR THINKING IS A TRAP! If we try to make our lover(s) FEEL better by THINKING about their problems, we only make them worse. Think when you're alone. When you're with others, try to remind yourself: "Be here now." "Let it be." Just because we think we CAN solve every problem, doesn't mean we SHOULD. Try to only offer advice when it's requested. Otherwise, just be an empathetic shoulder to cry on. This has been taking a lot of practice, but it's really helping me be a better friend and lover.
"They wanna keep their options open. Not that they're going out and meeting tons of people all the time, but they like to think that they could" This is a dangerously accurate personal attack.
Hahah I'm an infp and my husband is intp. Basically, we shared a bus stop and had a mutual crush on each other for about 3-4 months until one day he sat by me on the bus and that was that! We dated 7.5 years before marriage, so def agree on a lot of your points
I´m an INTP, my ex-girlfriend is an INFP. I still love her after 3 years(in a respectful not obsessive way), but I left her because I have problems with commitment(just like in the video...). I love the warmth of an INFP, I´m wondering why these matches never talk about INTP/INFP matches. Either way, It´s incredible hearing about your marriage!
One of my best friends is an infp, but I would probably not do well in a relationship with one. F-types are really nice to be around occasionally, but it can quickly be just too much of nothing, after which resentment will accrue exponentially.
Btw, how probable is a mutual crush? I mean, if that were completely random, it would basically never happen. However if it's somehow correlated - like through external traits - it could be reasonably expected. On the other hand, it seems to me that one person having a crush may cause the other person to develop one. But I don't really have experience to judge what's really the explanation, so if someone could enlighten me on that, I would greatly appreciate it (Oh, and went do I feel like I'm trying to fit the stereotype now? : /)
I am that female INTP whom knew exactly who she liked, but completely oblivious of people who crushed on me. I would never initiate my crushes, because I always felt that I would either reject me, or just simply not like me, or understand me; and hope that they would rescue this lonely and tortured INTP heart.
Hi Sylvia! I'm an INFJ having a crush with an INTP, sometimes, I perceive just as you mention, that she likes me, but she also have some deep feelings that I can rejeact her one day. Could you give me some advices about how can I get closer to her? Best Regards!
@@MyMitchie13We are deep introverts and very keen on our boundaries so as a female a female INTP avoid any physical contact, or touching; and also avoid making too many completely about her good looks, her clothes and also avoid coming on too strong. When comes to kissing and holding hands, wait till it’s a sure thing that she is your girlfriend. We also don’t like guys whom make sexual advances too, too quick, as we’ll quickly get the impression that you are more interested in our body, as opposed to her intellect and mind. Now that was the “don’t do’s”. One sure thing to get a female INTP, is to trigger her intellect by getting into intellectual conversations, and avoid small talk as we have so little patience for it. Of course as an INFJ, you shouldn’t have any difficulty with that. Also, be authentic, honest, and tell her what you expect in a relationship. Also, never be afraid to initiate conversations, as it is often so difficult for us to do so. I also really like it when guys show that they are genuinely interested in what we have to say; and I also love it when a guy has a great sense of honour and not take life too seriously. With is, you’ll also need lots of patience as we are very difficult to understand.
I recently had a crush on someone. Two weeks later, I have not asked her out or anything... but I've analyzed what attracted me down to the paragraphs, her skill sets, which ones I am interested in or compatible with, her probable emotional state and needs, her emotional history, the potential impact of a culture shock, the political situation in her area and how it might affect me, a timeline for probable mutual projects, the unique assets I might provide in the relationship, the list of comprises to be made on each side, etc. etc. I have this huge map of connections and nodes, with general odds and probabilities for the most important interactions... and I was then left paralyzed by the inability to calculate the best ways to communicate my interest. "Do I play it cool... play hard to get... abandon... or go full stalker and give a hint into the model I built around my infatuation? And for any of those scenarios... how do I best craft my communication?"
I'd say at least try to connect to her by talking somehow. I know it is hard. I ended up writing one huge paragraph explaining why we would be an incredible fit and why we should be together for the rest of our lives to a person who I barely ever spoke with. Yeah that didn't work out lol so just play it cool and hope that she will make a move someday. Once she makes that move do let her know you are interested too. Important detail for sure
@@luc6284, it was just a crush on a pen pal. A pretty intense one, but someone else wrote something relevant: "If (X doesn'T materialize), we're left wondering why we even bothered in the first place." Anyway, I explicitly detailed my attraction and we're cool with it. The attraction was miscalibrated in the first place because I crushed hard over some specific sentences that alluded to potential interest in a specific subject but for which wasn't really so. In my case, I knew that it was improbable that she had a developing interest in (politics) and that I probably had to wait for the emotions to pass through.
hmmm, I tend to be into people from foreign lands (only a few select ones usually). Is that an INTP trait? Some other countries aren't as outgoing or loud as Americans or other countries, so for me, that is part of the draw. I also find people from other countries _who immigrate_ more open-minded usually.
"You can't just go up to an INTP and say I like you..." Haha, reminded me of some incidents in high school and college. It was exactly like that. I think in most cases it was girls I wasn't and wouldn't be interested in, so that just increased the "Why?" factor. Actually, I usually had a weird, logical, pseudo-sensitivity response when I didn't like the person. I knew it wasn't right to tell them how awful or unappealing they are, so I would try to let them down easy with a long, drawn out process of disinterest and avoidance.
INxP here. 3:38 I've asked women out, but it's incredibly rare. I've only done it with girls I have repeated interactions with, like a customer at my work, or a worker at one of my regular stops, or a classmate, and even then only the ones that give me certain vibe, and I have to summon a godly amount of willpower to make the first move. And if I notice a girl smile at me, I usually dismiss it as politeness, but sometimes I analyze it later and think _"damn, I should've said something."_
Problem with me is that I read people so well that once I find someone I’m interested in and they are Interested in me, my feelings come across much stronger because I fully dedicate myself to everything and everyone that I’m interested in. So it’s good that I’m loyal and dedicated from the start but I don’t have the proper social skills to understand boundaries.
I’m an INTP woman who found another INTP to love. It took a very long time for either of us to make the first move but we finally got there. Been married with children for almost 10 years now. It’s nice to have someone who understands you, especially when I drift off in my head.
@Minty Badger I am a female INTP and I found a male INTP that I really like. We've had 7hr and 4hr conversations and I think about him often (this is rare). I don't want it to take a long time before we get romantic. Do you think I should initiate even though I'm the female in the situation? Any other tips that might help? I appreciate any help you can provide.
I'm an INTP and what makes dating for me so hard is that I generally start to lose interest in people when they start to act illogically. There was a girl I used to talk with, we had an argue over something ... well guess what I killed it and she was like : "You're so close minded, care only about your opinion." We haven't talked since.
Im an INTP raised by a mother that didnt give affection or recognition. Took me my whole 20s to figure out how things really are and systematically train myself for all the social situations all the types of people out there. It required years of psychotherapy and two years of single travelling to get to where I am now, able to go for what I want in my personal life without paralysing myself with analysis or selfdoubt, while still be able to use my internal analysis, but for more reasonable initial filtering and cathing details about people to ask about them to make them feel more interesting, I studied body language and tones of voices to catch all the things I am not naturally tunned to catch and simply engraved into my brain how this system works. Someone should have told me to approach all of this the same way I approach my work when I enter a new company, I knew how to do that earlier than how do it with social interactions.
Bro i feel you. Im 23 and had the same start. But unfortunately money is a real struggle and i can't go to therapy or travel. So im just figuring out on my own. Forcing myself to do what i don't like gradually (socializing), and just expanding my bank of patterns and little things to be able to decrypt people's thoughts and reactions. I managed to somehow develop fully artficial empathy using this micro-patterns. Still don't feel shit, but at least can understand that other person feels like this.
It would be awesome to have a girl to take initiative, a bit extroverted to pull me out, willing to analyze stuff and that doesn't care about my awkwardness. Welp, I guess I'll end up like that guy in the Her movie
Be an intp is like playing an hardcore telltale game around others: Inside my head: "Ok so this beautiful girl is saying me "Hi [my firstname] !"and is smiling at me I don't know why yet... But Quick I have to answer back!!! Let's check my options... -Say hi back It's rather safe, but... what is her name again? If I'm wrong she will cringe and not talk to me again... Moreover, it's really Boring, I should at least launch a subject... -Talk about geek or Otaku stuff I have plenty of things to tell but it's really out of place, she's probably too popular to be into this... Or maybe I'm just stating cliché, I have to know her better for this... -Act as a cool Guy that Care about Boring popular stuff like school life Uhh I tried it before, if she investigate I'll get caught and it's even MORE cringey! I can't build a sane relationship on act... - Prétend I have an emengency and flee I can't Always do that! I have to be brave for once and just be normal! -Be natural Yes, very funny It doesn't means anything! Quick I'm wasting too much Time!!! -Tell a joke I'm too stressed out, It will not be funny .. -Ask how she's doing Hey, not Bad! I will gain Time and Learn more about her! ----------TIME ELAPSED---------- She's Gone now... Uhh whatever I don't need anyone in fact she don't know what she's missing! So I'm going to eat chocolate to not feel better and post a comment on a yt Channel about my wonderful life!
This video is so scarily accurate. I've been in hysterics watching it after coming across the 16 personalities 10 days ago. I'm a little disappointed to find I can be summarized in so few pages (of course) but what a great tool. The whole Myers-Briggs system gives me hope. There was a very pretty girl. Jenny, who sat behind me in math class in school. Every lesson she would sing Rod Stewart - Do You Think I'm Sexy to me. It was at least 15 years later I finally realized she was actually flirting with me, not that she just liked the song. Whoops! She was nice too. I did like her; but of course had no idea how to react to that.
Being a male INTP sucks, because our society has it so ingrained that the males have to initiate. Thanks to a humiliating experience, a painful betrayal and the fact I have severe difficulty with reading the "cues" I can't trust anyone anymore, YES! You HAVE to prove you like me because it really hurts when you open your heart to someone and they stomp on it😭 Cruel people and my overactive analysis have doomed me to a lonely life.
INTP here. Had a funny flirting situation a few years ago. At one point She goes: „...and I find you attractive“ and I literally go: „I really respect you finding me attractive, and I find you quite attractive aswell, but your statement won‘t change my beliefe of myself not being attractive“ 🤦🏼♂️ and she responds by saying she feels the same about herself not being attractive. One of the few flirting moments I had in life.
Yes being clueless, awkward, low confidence, solitary and nervous around women I liked is why it took me till the age of 24 before I had my first date.
INTP and asexual, so for me the whole "flirting" thing is a very vague concept: I know it exists because others talk about it. I like how you described your acquietance's crush as "very INTP". My second (and last) crush is an INTJ that extensively helped me on the job - and only for the job's sake, he did not asked me anything in exchange albeit it is very common in my workplace. That's why I took a liking in him. Very job oriented. I love my job.
Hah, you've had crushes, a whopping 2 of them, and you claim to be asexual? lul... You might be sexually awkward, or sexually restrained, but asexual you are not. :) I've never even had a crush, but i am certainly not asexual... As long as hormones are active in my body, i will always have a sexuality, i will always be sexual... This applies to everyone with active sexual hormones (Produced by functional sexual organs), no exceptions. :P
@@MyouKyuubi ... You kind of answered it yourself. You can be attracted by someone and not love them. Or you can love someone and not be attracted by them. For instance, you can also find bisexuals that can fall in love with only one gender, but they're still sexually attracted to both males and females. Hormones have absolutely nothing to do with one's sexuality; when they tried to give testosterone to gay males to turn them straight, their only goal was to make them more horny... but still toward other males!
@@Starseed86 "Hormones have absolutely nothing to do with one's sexuality" Wrong. It is a scientifically proven fact that without sexual organs to produce hormones in your body, your brain cannot get a breeding response to what it considers viable sexual partners. Sometimes, people think they are Asexual, until they discover that their brain recognizes a jar of dirt as a viable sexual partner... Basically they have a weird fetish. The only way to truly be asexual, is if you are a Eunuch, chemically speaking... As in, your Ovaries, or Testicles do not produce sex hormones for you... Or have been removed from your body, thus removed their ability to inject said hormones into your bloodstream. What you describe as love, doesn't actually exist, that is a breeding instinct with a pinch of obsession added to it... If you fall in love, you are sexual... Your opinion on the matter, is subjective and therefore quite frankly, irrelevant... :P Science is never wrong. "when they tried to give testosterone to gay males to turn them straight" Hormones don't necesarily define what kind of sexuality you have, only if you are sexual or not. What sexuality you have, depends on the molecular structure of your brain and your thought patterns... And trust me, that can create some truly bizarre results... Some people are only sexually attracted to disease, as in, the concept of Disease, and being infected, turns them on. Some people are sexually attracted to feet... Some are attracted to animals, i mean the imagination is the only limit here... And yes absolutely, some of these sexualities are highly destructive and unsanitary. xD I'm sure you're heard of Necrophiliacs and Pedophiles? Not even the tip of the iceberg, it's just a snowflake on the iceberg. :S Just because you haven't discovered your sexuality yet, doesn't mean you are asexual, it means one of two things, you are either sexually blind, or sexually restrained. ;P
@@Starseed86 I guess you either deleted your comment due to discovering the flaw in your argument, or youtube yeeted your comment from existence. >_> Good talk i guess?
@@MyouKyuubi Paraphilias and Orientations are two different thigs, and you are mixing them up. My opinion is irrelevant and so it's yours, because an opinion is not a fact. In this study about eunuchs, you can see that the 64.9% retained their attraction towards their preferred gender even after the castration. Only 7.9% became non-sexual. Of course there is a connection, but it's not as important and absolute as you claim it to be. Science is never wrong, but scientists, being human, can be wrong. www.researchgate.net/publication/296621514_Gender_preference_in_the_sexual_attractions_fantasies_and_relationships_of_voluntarily_castrated_men
I remember back in the 6th grade, my very first... I guess you could say "boyfriend" said he liked me in a note. The next day I gave him a survey. I wrote out 3 different categories of questions sprawled out 15 minutes before I went to class. 1. Why do you like me 2. What does dating mean for you 3. miscellaneous questions to know who I'm dealing with. (I.E. Have you had past relationships, what happened?) we broke up 6 months later because he liked someone else. But now that I think about it, it's almost funny that a little 12 year old is giving background checks on secret admirers. Now that I think about it... I also made a survey like test for the tooth fairy too. That's how I figured out she wasn't real.
37 year old intp, i recognize your description when i was a teenager or a young adult. But when i was like 25 , i changed radically, i was taking more risks with women, and didn’t fear rejection that much. I had a couple of dates when i initiated the chat, and i was very audacious quickly. I became more confortable with my emotions, i can easily express my feelings, and didn’t act awkward anymore.
In my later twenties, I just got myself more into an ENTP mood and it worked very, very well with the girls. You can do that! After marriage, I fell back into my real INTP self. Job done.
Girl, you must be a .50 BMG because that accuracy is painful. I love that bit though. 'You cant just tell them you like them because then they go: why?'
Dude im like 2 min in and she already landed 3 lethal shots. And honestly that something that we look for. Like we are always misunderstood, and sometimes we dont even understand ourselves. Which is why i love MBTI: its okay, you are the weird one, but there is other cool shit u can do.
Doctorate here, have taught in a college and two universities! I even had a total stranger walk up to me in a restaurant and ask "are you a university professor?... ah, thought so, you look like one!"
Hard is an understatement if you are an INTP. I am ready to retire and I’ve already accepted the high probability of dying alone without anyone but my land lord to find out when the rent check is late.
Idk if it helps you, but we all die alone. Many who live with others, feel lonely or paid for the commitment with sacrifices you might not want to make, if you were in their shoes. You don't have to live your life as a lonely person, and, like my INTP landlord, who is in his 80s and single, you can find happiness in company of people you like spending time and share interests with. I'm a single INTP woman, and not a day goes by, when I don't feel lucky to be able to share a house with this lovely, quirky and interesting man. He's an active community member, interested in photography, writing, composing music (most of those things we learnt in his 50s and 60s) and I think that's the key to his mental and physical fortitude, as well as positivy.
I’m an INFP who approached my INTP first. He found hinself in a position to be approached, like you said, by separating from his group of friends and going out on his own during college. For the other INFPs out there who’s scared to initiate: don’t be! Just make the first move as you see fit, and let the winds of fate guide you haha. It’ll take several meetings before INTPs start to like you, but the more you exchange information, the more they’ll open up and become attracted to you.
OMG I'm INFP as well, it was really hard for me, I really scare I might give him stress during these time when I'm around with him. Like he couldnt play with his friends somethings. I try to not to interrupt him and his daily normal life with others, but it is still a bit hard for me to ask him :hey can we hang out? , it really stress me out but I really like him. He didn't really have feeling for me yet, but we r just testing for now, it is a bit hard for us because long distance but I hope it work it out.
Opposite over here :) intp male with an infp. She was the one to actually introduce me to this personality imbt thing lol. Now I am trying to figure out whatever i can on this personality thing. The problem is that I don’t really care about it that much and still I get myself dragged here😅 Ummm she is just amazing. Really understanding to whoever she’s interacting with and very much smart. We understand each other and like each other’s company. She is such a beautiful person. Wish there were more of u guys ur ideal ideas and love of art and life itself would make the world a better place than this chaotic dumpster we live in now. “Sorry world but humanity happened and made u like this”. This is something that’ll she say after I guess 😅 She was the one who approached first actually too. 🍀 I guess 😁
@@rastafaris225 oh that is very nice to hear, I actually also the one who introduced him the personality imbt test too hahha, may I ask r u two together now?
Heyy I’m an INFP too. And 6 months ago I met an INTP. He was mysterious, intelligent. (And he had really beautiful red hair) I just liked being around him, but we knew from the beginning it wouldn’t work between us because we lived in a different country. He is English and I am French. It was passionate, and still today idk what he has been thinking of me. It’s so hard to describe your emotions INTPs!! I think he got scared. I just wanted to share my experience, if any INTP has something to say about it. I’m kinda desperate I really wish I could meet him again some day to continue that love story. But I know his rationality would come back at any moment to stop it. Because he would think it is not possible to be in a long distance relationship even though he likes me.
Tara Marine please feel free to ask anything. I am glad that someone actually replied back lol it’s my first comment :) and yeah we are together now. Feel like you wanna ask more questions? 😂
As an ENTJ, it's so hard to find INTP girls, also it's very attractive when you're awkward coz it immediately makes me feel at ease and it's funny to watch resulting in immediate entertainment value.
Pretty sure laughing at us would not go over well. Aim for being charmed, instead. ENTJs should be with INFPs. They're even more adorable and could use a Te dominant to help with their inferior function.
@@gretagrotto5858 I never understood why an ENTJ would like an INFP, I've got a friend thats INFP and we don't get along coz hes always so secretive about everything, always late, flaky as hell, negative experience overall. Obviously anecdotal. I definitely don't get along with INFJs either. I think if the other person isn't extremely talkative, it makes it really hard coz I'm too direct and to the point so convos don't last that long before needing to jump to the next topic/concept/point.
@@AnonW Introverts can be talkative with the people they're closest to. Maybe your INFP friend needs to learn to trust you. Or do conversations suffer too? I'd say I'm less talkative than even the average INTP, but that's for initiating convos. Once it starts, I'm too curious to not extend it - for hours, easily. For example, I'd like to know why the INFJ is a problematic personality for you. They're supposed to be excellent partners for INTPs, but frankly, none of the NFs in my life have proven to be healthy enough to be intellectually attractive as life partners, including the INFJ. The NFs non-evidence-based view of reality always gets in the way. Perhaps we should both stick to NT types.
@@gretagrotto5858 This here is a good example of why I like NT types, you state your thoughts and opinions clearly and provide follow up questions due to your curiosity. This makes conversation flow really naturally and effortlessly. From my experience, INFPs and INFJs are overly private there are other types who are also overly private but these 2 I have more experience. I usually like to dig deep into whatever we're discussing coz I'm trying to get to the root cause or key points so I can't have much of a convo with people who dodge questions, don't want to answer or keep everything shallow/surface level, it's just uninteresting to me. I especially hate small talk coz its like you're watching your fav show and all of a sudden theres a whole season of filler episodes. My mom is an INFJ and she drives me nuts coz the forces her ideals and religion down your throat with no logical reasoning what so ever and expects me to have "blind faith" LOL. I also have in INFJ friend who is so obsessed with "being normal" like any time me and my INTJ friends do something thats against the norm he steps in and basically ruins the mood, hes like a party pooper. Then I had an ex that was an INFJ and God dating her was draining, it's like I have to squeeze every drop of convo out of her and she often just straight up doesn't reply for days when I thought we were finally getting to the interesting part of a convo and shes the one that initiated the convos. I honestly don't get her at all when it comes to behavior, I could only get her in terms of her philosophy and outlook on life. Most of my friends are INTJ, I think they make decent friends for entertainment but not for a spouse coz theres a major lack of emotion between us.
I am an INTP female here and I chose to stay alone for the rest of my life, being social and finding a decent match for me was so hard that it became really stressful and depressing 😐
We like to keep our options open. Not that there are any options but we like to think there are. Yep. That's a pretty accurate statement. Also when I do find someone I really really like I enter what I call relationship mode. The state where my heart only longs for one special girl who makes me feel special wanted and every other girl in the world loses their appeal. That's how the super loyalty happens.
Yeah I agree. I have no problem with c omitting, is she doesn't have problem with committing. But as long as relationship isn't solid, I'm not going be the one who gets suckered in hurt the most.
I feel INTPs can date anyone if they learn to listen to their Fe. In my experience INTPs can be great at dating but struggle with leaving a relationship. INTPs Their dominant Ti makes them a great problem solver for things in the relationship and Ne makes them full of ideas and things to talk about that many types will enjoy. I think INTPs can date ENFPs because of their Ne and very curious. Turbulent ENFPs who can’t control themselves are difficult but I’ve met many ENFPs who are very nice and amazing to chat with. ENTPs are also great. I think if INTPs listen to their Fe they can be amazing using logic to help a problem but with praise too. I had an ESFJ mom and INFJ dad so my Fe has grown a lot and helps in a relationship. I still have INTP struggles like moving on from a relationship, over thinking, and arguing but Fe helps INTPs and knowing what each type likes helps them in dating. I have learned about what each type is like so I can understand points of view. It’s why ESFJs are a soft spot because their strengths of friendliness helps INTPs weak Fe
At the age of 61, I am finally looking back at my youth and young adulthood and seeing how many cues I missed! Some were not even flirting, but brazen throwing herself at me -- and I dismissed it, assuming it was just some inexplicable game that I shouldn't take seriously. All that ever got through to me was simple friendship, that would then grow into romance. Initiative was then basically completely mutual and simultaneous.
INFJ here. I'm doing my research to learn about this personality, because there's an INTP that I'm highly interested in. I understand her quite a bit or I just get her. Maybe it's because of my little bro who's an INTJ...but I wouldn't exactly know. Thanks for this video 😅😁. I'll keep learning.
I (INFP) think this must be the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard 🥰 … 1000x better than flowers and dinner. As someone who likes an INTP and is waiting for him to approach me, I say just follow your instinct and ask her out. The rest will follow… you guys have way better instincts in the moment than you give yourselves credit for!
I am a female INTP and have problems knowing if a man is into me, but also a problem with people thinking I like a man in a romantic way when I do _not_ at all. There is a shortage of Russian men, so I have no illusions that I will get one, but Russian men being forward and direct is something I long for in a man. Russians are called cold, but so are INTPs. I think we save our best, our warmth for those who've earned our trust and respect. Internal energy (thoughts and emotions) have high value that many other personality types under look and under value.
Here I am, an INFJ with a serious crush on my incredibly cute and smart INTP friend, who made it rather clear he wouldn't be interested in me. This guy also asked me to help him understand love better by sharing my experiences and thoughts (someone thinking my input is valuable? Kryptonite.) since he has a hard time making sense of this type of emotions and navigating between interpersonal relationships. I am supposed to guide him through that AS A FRIEND and of course I'm gonna do it without saying I like him. Because I'm an idiot. The fact that our types are compatible according to this video doesn't help. So to summarise: FML.
Have you tried sincerely asking him why he isn't interested in you? If it is a physical thing (e.g. I can't date brown eyed girls because I take relationships seriously and I'd like my children to have blue eyes like me). Then well, fyl indeed. But if it is other kind of problem I can see him changing opinion. The main three reasons I can't love someone are disrespect (he asked for your opinion so he respects you), lack of intellectual interest (again, no), or fear. Fear has several modes. Fear to express the deep feelings (because 99% of the time, when we sincerely open to someone, we end up hurt 10 minutes later), fear to being desillusioned with the other people after knowing her better (because they are bad, selfish, superficial or boring), fear of rejection (no matter how good we feel with someone, trust each other, talk deeply... the last bit of that fear never really abandon us). So, if fear is the case, your best bet is to make him understand that you are pure, understanding, sincere. That you won't hurt him ever. Also open yourself to talk about your weird INFJ experiences that nobody understands about you; I feel great if I have to use all my capabilities to understand someone that has "weird" experiences and patterns. So, if he really made it clear that is not interested (that means saying it), asking why is the way to go, because you will show yourself so brutally that you may even gain his heart out of that question (if he is just a little receptive). It you believe he is not interested but you are not 100% sure, focus the question in other say, because if he knows you assumed his thinking wrong, you probably fucked up. I don't know if I am getting the full picture here, so I have a little fear to fail and make you both feel bad. Please first and foremost trust your gut feelings. Btw, ofc INTP here, but I got obsessed with integrating feelings into logical intuitive patterns, so I end up being decent at reading feelings between lines and deeply understanding people. I hope I can help you both, and I'd like to get news :)
@@rinrietyunlihag6045 that was incredibly thoughtful of you. I definitely wasn't expecting anyone to respond, so I appreciate you taking the time to do this. The problem has several layers (or at least I see it as multilayered) so there's a lot to address. But I'll keep your advice in mind when trying to tackle it. Nothing really developed since I've posted my comment, so there's not much I can say other than thank you so much.
@@Octobris I am glad that my words were considered, thanks to you! You seem a person of quality who is worth helping, so if anytime need someone to talk, debate weird stuff, or cry over a virtual shoulder, here I am! (PM if you prefer) Smile, and have a great day!
Not me randomly coming back to this video and seeing the comment I posted a year ago. Meant to come back earlier with a longer response but after overthinking it, I simply forgot. The situation has changed since my original comment but detailing everything makes me sad so all I'm gonna say is: 1. He still doesn't know and won't know until June. 2. I am in pain. 3. He's the love of my life.
INTP lady here. Married with kids. But since especially the INTP female does not match the expectations of what a women and mom should be, it creates immense stress on us. A note to other INTP ladies out there, think carefully if you will be able to handle your own and others criticism of you not 'fulfilling' the norm per expectations. Sometimes being alone is better than to be in an unhappy relationship.
1:10 - 1:22 ... this is soooooo accurate ... reminds me of this one time when one of my friends confessed that he liked me and my first response was “why ? Why me ? Why not someone else ? What did you like about me?” ..
My previous relationship I should've never entered and I knew it but I still did anyway because I was so excited and attracted to the person and wanted to test a new experience. Any other INTPs find themselves knowingly not following logic for the sake of experience?
Ignoring logic and doing things for the sake of the experience is one of my super powers. That's pretty much what spurred me going on dates in the past. However, age and maturity kept me from doing it as often as I did in my teens and 20s until I met my INTJ boyfriend. Out
All the time, lol. You're not gonna learn anything new, if you aren't willing to break a few eggs after all. Of course, i don't engage in any self-destructive activities, but sometimes, i will say yes to something i usually say no to, just to spice things up a bit... Gotte get out of that comfort zone sometimes, to stretch my legs. :]
Yes, I think INTPs are like this all the time. We are logical and rational because of that we are not afraid to make our own decisions. It is only human to seek out an experience we are not robots that operate on logic 24/7. I think it is also the reason why INTPs are on of the most likely type to get addicted to substances (based on a paper) since we take warning labels with a grain of salt and like to do our own research and make our own choices.
So my boyfriend told me that he loves me and and I instantly asked why? And he started giving reasons until I finally started appreciating his love. 🤦🏻♀️😂
"She bought him a hot chocolate." Can confirm, I married a woman three years after she offered me a beef stew during a 12 person group project in college, she offered to go buy it and bring it to me so I wouldn't have to stop working.
INFJ male about to marry a female INTP and she’s just the sweetest and smartest person I’ve ever met. We’ve had so many good conversations and moments as friends.We’re deciding to do something neither of us actually thought would happen before meeting the other let alone actually ever end up doing, that is living with and sharing ourselves further with someone else on a more permanent level.
Someone: I like you
INTP: please justify your statement in the space below
Lmao
I remember in middle school a girl said she liked my smile and i stared at her with a confused expression on my face for 30 sec
Everytime I ask why.....I never get anything of substance just random observable traits and recalled mutual experiences.
Imma use this line next time
I noticed almost all of my relationships the girl initiated first.
"(INTPs) can be a little bit awkward when it comes to flirting" I believe you underestimate my awkwardness.
Haha!
I find flirting is disgusting. It is a superficial exchange of predictable words and gestures.
But randomly starting a conversation with a weird deep phylosophycal idea, or an intimate sincere feeling, which then develops into unexpected exchanges of thoughts and emotions... damn that is so sexy.
@@rinrietyunlihag6045 superficial is merely just a categorization of experience, it doesn't necessarily mean it isn't reality. Also, you sure you're an INTP? Most INTPs aren't easily disgusted
@@ToastLabs Yes, and I'd agree 100% with you if we were talking about idk, spices to put in a sauce for some spaghettis, where I could talk about the "real deep flavour", but in the end every little bit of spice and experience make up the whole reality. But when we come to talk about human beings, I feel that the "reality" most people live in are just old reptilian brain methods, instintcs, or cultural bias. I find those things optional. For instance, when girls tried to flirt with me with old-proven-methods, culturally/biologically accepted... I felt them uninteresting. Idk if I can really make me understand, but it is something like: "why would an interesting person need to use a pack of premade canned routines?" It doesn't feel genuine, pure. It doesn't seem that a person who likes those rituals will ever be able to understand nor accept me.
Yes, I am an INTP, I spent three whole days researching until I was relatively sure I wasn't an INTJ. I am kinda stoic. I don't FEEL disgusted by flirting, I just find it abstractly bad if I perceive people holistically. It is... incompatible with my ethics system or my ideal of how the people should work in my dreamworld. But I lately realised that explaining things with feelings attached make them a little more understandable by other people. After years of training I managed to relatively understand feelings and translate them into logic so I can take them into account for rational decisions; that also allowed me to put them into explanations so they are coherent. Or at least I try to. I also convinced myself that feelings are worth it, so I usually like to go full introspection and look them half from outside half from inside until I realise what is going on. And that helped me in some aspects of life.
I hope It made sense.
@@rinrietyunlihag6045 makes very much sense and yeah you're definitely an INTP I'm sure of that now lmao. I'm an INTP, probably younger than you, I'm only 20 :p
I like flirting, I like the whole pre-canned experience, the issue is I'm so awkward idk what to do about it, probably novelty + dopamine appealing to the Si child. I'll admit I'm a pretty unhealthy intp but I'm tryna fix that
INTP romantic life-hacks:
"I don't like to take the initiative and I'll probably see it as intrusive if you do it. I just want the circumstances to someway put us together so that we can start talking. But if you were to manipulate the circumstances in order to make it happen, I wouldn't be mad. In fact, that would really impress me"
I agree. xD
"But if you were to manipulate the circumstances in order to make it happen, I wouldn't be mad." Exactly, I don´t want to take the initiative and it feels intrusive if the other part takes it. I want to manipulate the flow so that it brings us togetether in an "natural" way. Taking the initiative feels so unelegant, crude and forced - it shouldn´t work. Sadly the world somehow works like this.
Madao lmao yep
Oh my god.. are you me
Best trick for a dating site is to create a really original profile(poem or funny short story) then wait for the comments to come in. it gets the conversation going.
She should open an INTP adoption center!
lol noted!
Like seriously.
Who and where are these wonderfully insane people that actually want an INTP?
Like you know I am walking brainstorm... you want that? You do?
Im stoked, im wanted, for me!
💀🤣💀🤣💀
YES! LOL!!
condotiero Do those actually exist though? Maybe they do for INTP males. I think as an INTP female, people usually feel slightly threatened by my discussions. Although I try to get that Fe empathy thing going.
"They just want... Food"
have never resonated more
Wait no, this is valuable insight.
Why though???
We'll avoid all people.
But if you put a nice meal, we'll forgo the plausible embarrassment.
Like there is turkey at Thanksgiving but we'll avoid that too.
What's the threshold? Personal tolerance? Age? Training?
My weakness
Little puppies
I m an intp and i only want to sleep
For me, an INTP, no matter how close I am with a person, I don't reply to them quickly.
god why is messaging people so hard
Messaging is easy for me. Cuz i don't have to speak with them on a call or meet. Why you guys find it difficult?
@@akashmuruganandam1462 omg phone call is a no no, I'd rather answer 100 messages.
@sʜᴇʀʟʏɴ you are totaly not an intp
I find that calls are actually getting more efficient for me since the conversation flows more quickly (with people I’m close to, at least). Finding a good moment to end them is a pain, though.
ESxJ: Hey there, you wanna go on a-
INTP: *HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ABOUT CARL JUNG'S PERSONALITY THEORY? IT'S REALLY INTERESTI-*
(: this would be me if I could be bothered to share my interest
XD
i doubt myself if I am an INTP untill I see your comment ;)) Yeah, it should be a great idea to discuss about Carl Jung and Jordan Peterson 's Theories in our first date
Feeling called out😂
Hahaha as an INTP that is so me 😂😂😅😒😒😟😄😄😄
INTP here. One time I was on a date but I had no clue until the guy tried to kiss me. Thought we were just hanging out and that it was super nice of him to buy me dinner 😂😂😂 thankfully he wasnt offended by my cluelessness.
Haha!!! I love INTPs! 🤣🤣
Must've been awkward. xD
Same experience. And more than once. Now I have friends that can translate situations for me.
as an INTP ive also had a few “accidental dates” as i call them lol
same experience - it's pretty awkward 😅
Me, an INTP sitting on my couch in my comfy clothes, eating and drinking wine, wondering why people have so many feelings and trying to figure out why/how to deal with other people's feelings. Forever awkward.
That sentence needs an Oxford comma 😂
Literally what I am doing right now.
30 year old male INTP and I'm laughing all through this video at the accuracy.
I love it :) Thank you!
I am a 30 year old female INTP and I did the same.
31 year old INTP and figured out how to be alpha. Reddit's "TRP" (the red pill) solved everything. Been with my girlfriend for 8 months and couldn't be happier. Lift weights and work on yourself. You'll be golden!
😅😅😅
31 year old female leo INTP...me too
INTP female: my dating life is the worst.
INTP female, can relate, I'm dating an ESFJ and it has gone well till recently, probably due to my inconsistent amount of affection :D I honestly wouldn't even be surprised if he broke up with me..
Edit: uh, yeah.. I think you can imagine what happened lol
Stefanya De Castaneda Intp male: what is this “dating” you speak of?
Well at least you have one 😂
What? Dating as a female should be significantly easier than for a male, because its usually expected for a male to make the first move.
Drowna your right that was the exact point of the joke
Girl smiles at me and says she likes me.
Me an INTP: Show your work.
Edit: Wow, this has got to be my most upvoted comment ever.
LikeToWatch77 bruh SAME
You allow them that close? I check people out from a distance sort of do a 3d brainscan or them and if they get too close I turn my back. If they speak behind me and I analyze their voice to be in the green I'll turn around again and ask questions like... "So what's your cunning plan?"
This strategy has not worked.
“I like you”
“WhY?”
“Uh, what?”
“ExplAin your reaSonIng-“
Nobody smiles at me or says they like me. Because i am so cold from outside, that's the problem.
💀🤣💀🤣💀
"Not that they are, but they like to think that they could"
so true for INTP
haha yea I love this paradox
If i'm in relationship i am never going to look to cheat. But it's very hard if someone approaches me. That is so attractive to us.
@@TypeMatch I just laughed out loud when you said that LOL so true
The stages of finding love for an INTP
1. Finding someone who is physically attractive to them
2. Finding someone who is smart enough
3. Finding someone who has an acceptable MBTI
4. Finding someone who likes INTP's
5. Finding someone who we get along with
6. Finding someone who likes us back
7. Finding someone who likes us romantically
8. Finding someone who finds us also compatible
9. Finding someone who is not already taken
I could run the math on this, but someone who is actually an acceptable mate for an INTP who also likes an INTP back and wants to be with us is very difficult.
Enfp female here. I just love INTPs
@@denizviolet man, they knock my socks off.
ENFJ here who likes an INTP man
@@garchi2938 welp am intp man but nah
INFJ with an INTP here and she's the smartest, funniest and sweetest person I have ever fallen for.
8:12 "Not that they're going out and meeting tons of people all the time, but they like to think that they could." This is soooo true wtf.
me, an intp: creates a fictional character with all characteristics I adore
me: takes the mbti test for said character
*turns out to be an entj*
makes sense
Haha!
*I felt that with all my ENTP characters*
As an intp I also did the same thing as you and got enfj -.-
welp guess im attracted to my dads personality ☠️
I swear all my RPG characters are basically ENTJ
Yusagii - chan I did this and got entp. I’m also a intp.
We also have the INTP tendency to overanalyze potential relationships/interactions and make conclusions based on past experiences and whatever information we have about that person. The committment phobia doesn't really stem from just wanting to explore other options, but also from constantly running simulations of potential dating outcomes when it comes to meeting new people. That ability, or belief that we can foresee how a relationship with a specific person would play out. Being overly logical when dating, and excluding potential matches on percieved disastrous possibilities.
You've described my dating life to a 'T' 😑. I frustrate myself - can't just be in the moment.
Studies also indicate that minimal knowledge about a person prior to dating produces more favorable outcomes than knowing "too much." Our expectations are too high if we take the plunge to date a person we have analyzed with great specificity. Despite these results, there is no way I would not gather all information available about the fellow before dating him. Because so what if I'm wrong? The relationship fails, it hurts for a bit, but I gain an improved mental model for better assessments/predictions next time.
this comment is so accurate.
@@gretagrotto5858 Intresting comment. I came cross this study too, but I don't think that the results apply to INTPs, for the Ne, which always keeps an open mind about a person, even with the initial knowledge we have about them. I've spoken to numerous people online, without seeing them and, surprisingly, when I eventually met them fin persosn, they were exactly the same people I took them for, when we spoke in text, or over the phone.
However, sensors specifically, and people who aren't precise in their language or honest in their communication, are better off meeting sooner than later, as they are more likely to develop unreasonable expectations/ fall into fantasies/ project or run into a misundersanding (mainly from lacking the non-verbal channels of communication), which will result in severing the link, because ... to most people, it's just easy to do if they haven't met a person.
This is me but with my 'friends' as they want me to call them. No matter how good they are to me I can't stop overanalyzing our relationship and it sucks
INTPs can actually be very affectionate and playful. For me personally (as an INTP) it's just that there's a barrier there that needs to be overcome before my affectionate side comes out and for me i'm very affectionate with animals, children, and anything that needs to be protected I guess, I feel as if i'm very 'squishy' and that quality in myself bothers me, so I do my best to always maintain my composure. Most people will not see my goofy adorable side, I generally tend to keep that hidden behind a mask of intellectual rationality, but do not exhude enough of an aura of definiteness that would make that mask appealing to people of the opposite sex -- and those who are not interested in intellectual topics might feel a bit alienated which further lowers the amount of interested parties in my dating pool, as well as other quirks (for example, I like to get right to the point of things instead of stopping and smelling the roses).
On the other hand i've always found myself drawn to NTJs. They just have a sort of confidence and definiteness about them that I find appealing. I on the other hand am more hesitant and judicious.
Don't feel bad about it, being goofy is a turn off for most women. Just tone down the intellectual stuff and stay in your masculine rational frame try to let the woman do most of the talking so you don't accidentally talk yourself out of her initial attraction towards you. Women love to talk anyways they get oxytocin out of it. In regards to conversation topics, it should be dry (what intellectuals consider dry), in the sense that it should be about getting to know the other person more. With women, you can try to talk about relationships. For example, you observe a couple at another dinner table and ask the girl "do you think the girl is sexually satisfied with that man". That example is not a very good one, but much better than intellectual talk. Intellectual talk turns a pussy drier than a desert.
Keeping your composure and being rational IS attractive, you just don't know that yet because you are not going out of your way to meet many women. INTPs have gotten the biggest hurdle down in regards to being successful with women, that is the composure. Most guys can only dream of being ridden off the nervousness and anxiety women cause them. Women know when you are nervous, they all know, and it isn't attractive to them. With some small adjustments to your verbal behaviour and body language, you can implement the definiteness to make it even more appealing. And being goofy, affectionate, adorable and playful is a big turn off. Most men report a decrease in attraction after their girlfriends see them cry and some women even break up with their men because they saw them cry. A man being emotional is not attractive to women is my point. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but it is what I have observed in men that are most successful with women and I have applied this myself over the last years and it works. You can try it yourself as an experiment, nothing to lose except a bit of time.
The biggest hurdle for INTPs would be the quasi-autism that impedes the understanding of social situations and social cues. For example, subtle things that women express like indicators of interests or certain ambiguous phrases they use to communicate something naughty. We tend to overthink in this regards. For example, a woman pats you on the shoulder multiple times "she could like me, but maybe she is just being friendly, or maybe this or that or this." Basically, we apply rigorous logic and Ne to our own conclusions, making us socially rusty. Fortunately, this can be fixed if we adhere to definiteness and just assume that she likes us rather than analyzing the behaviour. It is a problem of overthinking. Next is applying the same subtle language towards women themselves. You don't say "let's have sex in my room", you say "I want to show you a book, it is on my shelf." You don't even mention your room in that sentence because it will make the woman feel slutty. All of this crap works, just read good sources of people that are natural with women or have had a lot of experience. I learned all of this from my INTJ friend that also struggled with women.
@@bluegiant13 You're making a lot of mistakes, depending on your goals. If you're looking to sleep with a lot of women, your position may be justified. But if your goal is to get into a relationship (which I think most INTPs are more interested in) then you're really missing the point.
Pretending to be someone else, to not be emotional, or not be goofy, or whatever, may have short term results but won't provide the long term satisfaction of comfort or vulnerability that makes a fulfilling relationship. Your rules like "don't be emotional in front of a woman" may be correct as a generalization, but instead of trying to fit yourself into an optimal mould, you should look for a partner who vibes with your particular qualities. Plenty of women want an emotional partner, they're not a monolith any more than all men are monolithically stoic and headstrong.
tl;dr this is bad advice if you're looking for a long term partner.
Be yourself right off the bat, which will quickly thin your dating pool to people who appreciate you authentically.
edit: obviously you still have to practice your social skills. But straight up pretending to be someone else is not fulfilling. I've been through that phase and it wasn't a good time for me.
Just love this comment. I'm an INTJ married to an INTP for 13yrs now. Yes, my husband is incredibly sweet and affectionate, and playful. He's also really good with the kids, much more hands on than a lot of dads. I have to say the thing that helped us when we were dating to get comfortable enough to just be goofy/real with each other was that we shared a lot of intellectual interests in common. He could bring up a totally nerdy science topic and we would have fun discussing it together. I think that making it clear from the beginning how much you value the intellect of your INTP and engaging said intellect is a winning combo.
I have seen his goofy side, his affectionate and squishy side and I feel hard for him. But when he did things that hurt me, I think he is just playing with my emotions and decided to distance myself from liking this INTP man.
I mostly agree and her top 2 picks for INTPs were great. I don't know if I agree about those Fs, though. But, in fairness, I never go beyond ENTJ and INTJ if I can help it. I will initiate contact with those 2, because I know how rare it is for me to like or want anyone. When I found my first BF, an ENTJ, I wouldn't allow him to talk to his friend - I held on like a pitbull and won him over. I knew it was a once-in-a-bluemoon opportunity and refused to let that pass me by.
The other men I dated I knew immediately that they were temporary and they initiated contact. I wouldn't waste my time pursuing them, yet was open to them making all of the effort.
I think that the reason INTPs stay single longer is because we want to keep our options open. It’s more because we need a very good reason to commit. Commitment signifies that the other party will be there always. That’s a LOT to accept from the INTP’s standpoint.
Saw this in my recommended and decided to watch to have more proof that me being single forever is actually happening. Mission accomplished.
lol same here, also judging by your avatar we also like the same character, this is great.... :'(
When you spend 30 minutes in the comments before actually watching the video...
wtf stop watching at me
How do you know ?!
My wife is INTP. I'm ENTP. I saw. I wanted. I conquered.
In all honesty, does she resent that (attitude)? The idea that she was conquered?
conquest
/ˈkɒŋkwɛst/
a person whose affection or favour has been won.
-------
It's a fact so why would she resent it? She's an NT...
You must be one of those F types...
@@GeekyGizmo007 Haha, nope. INTP. Female. Colloquially, when you refer to someone as a conquest, you're referring to success with sex, not love, usually as one of a string of conquests. And the person conquered is usually not happy when you move on to the next one. Also, from a petite, female's POV, since the word 'conquer' is also linked to aggressive behavior, that word makes me nervous on principle. And since you added nothing to your last sentence to moderate your tone, like a smiley face, I also infer that you meant it to be derogatory, which is not nice either. If you speak to others the same way, you may incur more resentment than you realize, just so you know. Not trying to bust your chops, just sharing some insight ;)
@@DreamQuillRose she was a conquest. But she also conquered me, which is why I did not move on to the next one and decided to marry her. To conquer doesn't necessarily mean aggressive behavior, but it does mean assertive behavior. Yes, I was assertive...or else I would not have succeeded. One can conquer another in a game of chess with assertiveness. Aggressiveness will end in a flipped board and scattered pieces.
I did not intend for my statement to be derogatory. Only a statement of assumption proven incorrect. I should have ended it with a ?
@@GeekyGizmo007 Hmm... Well, the word "conquering" in a game, such as chess, is not as potentially offensive as saying that one has conquered another human being, since when someone is conquered, there is a winner and a loser. Who doesn't resent being a loser, i.e. being subjugated to someone else's dominance? A smiley face after declaring that you dominated someone lets people know you meant it more gently, i.e. assertive rather than aggressive.
Omg, the flirting thing, I dated a guy, he took me to a bar, afterwards he was like upset because some guy was flirting with me, and I was like, really, who, when, where, I missed it completely
Know the feeling
I'm an INTP and I avoid socialization
Well we love INTPs on type match!
gave up on dating for now... would be awesome if TypeMatch actually connects me with someone ;)
X2
Mmmh, yes, the floor is made out of floor 😁
Me 2
Im a male intp. I married an infj. I was single till i was 35 with no hope insight. Marriage is difficult for the intp but if you know your personality type i really think you have a fighting chance. My infj and i could not love each other more and she treats me like a puppy dog and i love it!
Intp here, 7.5 months with my enfp gf and im the happiest yet most confused i've ever been in my life lol
Haha! Great to hear that you're happy, best of luck for you two :)
As an INTP i found this video very accurate, and good point about not initiating. Usually doesn't even occur to me to further the relationship and even if it does i have no sense of urgency.
Thank you for your comment. I'm glad you agree 😁
Wow.. 📝📝📝
My views are almost the opposite - I dislike or am disinterested in most people, so when I find someone i like, I can be quite assertive. I know the person is a gold coin amount a pile of wooden nickels and so grab on tight.
"I like you"
"Why?"
My life...
What wtf do u mean?
@@joni-nv3el you question when or why someone likes you even if you don't say it out loud in relationships/dating.
@@absolutfx ha k i try to find deeper meaning in it lol
An ENTJ female will tell you directly and honestly why they like you. My advice: make yourself noticeable to her and she will beeline it to you. I love brooding types sitting in the corner of the room with a hoodie on judging the world, preferably a cashmere hoodie in a complimentary color. Haha. I want to know what that person thinks, the more subjects the better. I’m a bottomless pit of curiosity. I want to know what insights this person has. I can do small chit chat so someone feels comfortable around me but if the conversation doesn’t become deeply intellectual, I’m bored and move on. Unless the person is funny, I’ll stick around for the laughs. Cheers!
@@entjfemme7032
Hi there. Having only just noticed and yet to more than glance at you, It should be small surprise that at present I have nothing more to communicate than my pleasure at finding what looks to prove a fresh and valuable new source of deaired and detailex information. Thanks in advance for making videos sharing your experience and perspectives. I'll probably provide some thoughts of my own once I've consumed enough of yours.
I'm a female INTP too. When we dont act like a typical girls, we are called different names for that!!!! It's not just in dating! In general Smart girls are hated by men and women, both!
Interesting! Intelligence can certainly be intimidating for lot's of people.
Ah yes. Nice excuse. Guys don't like you because you're "smart". LMFAO the rationalization is astronomical.
@@WordPaint Yep. Surely all INTPs are like this.
INTP here, and I agree with pretty much everything you said. If anything, I wish you'd have gone into more detail about the dynamics between INTP's and the last 3 "most compatible" types! INTJ's are especially slippery because we share zero of their functions. They're hard to read (probably due to their Fi), and they make me somewhat uncomfortable sometimes.
INFJ's seem to be the one's that are the most naturally understanding and accepting of INTP faults and idiosyncrasies. They can read what we're too afraid to express. That can be disturbing, but it's also comforting because they tend to love us no matter what. The main problem we face with them is their aversion to conflict. They keep quiet on their own needs, we're bad at sensing them, and they eventually begin to resent us when we fail to read their minds. When they grow forever distant and we don't understand why, it can break a part of us that never truly heals or feels comfortable trusting love again.
I'll be revisiting each type many types on this channel! Also thank you for this comment!
Stephanie Mitchell So weird, INTP here too. I said weird because it's the opposite in my view. I have an INTJ friend and for some reason I can read her mind with ease. However, I have an INFJ friend who usually gets a bit tired and irritated of my personality and way of discussijg things very quickly.
Oof, the hard to read INTJs lol. It freaks me out when I'm not the analytical boss all of a sudden.
I have a pretty interesting experience with these two types (as an INTP) because I've had two long term relationships, the first with an INTJ and the second with an INFJ.
I was with the INTJ girlfriend from 16-24, and our relationship was pretty good, lots of ideas been thrown around and tempered through each of our strengths. We definitely had an understanding of how the other person thought and how their thinking could enhance our own. I definitely worked my Fe muscle in that relationship and did most of the emotional repair and heavy lifting. It wasn't strictly intellectual, there was a lot of affection too. She did most of the planning and organizational stuff, which I am only now getting a hang of. Unfortunately the emphasis on intellectual partnership resulted in a lack of passion and we ended up as very good friends but not really in a romantic relationship.
Now I am with an INFJ (24-31) and had to re-learn how to emotionally support someone. I am eternally grateful because we (okay, mostly she) figured out early on that she needed to be explicit about her own needs in order for me to be able to act, which I think for her was difficult because being explicit about feelings for her doesn't feel like she's receiving as much support. Fortunately, over time this has resulted in me being able to do all the things she needs to be supported without her asking, because she explicitly taught me and I was willing to accept her feelings and adapt my strategies. Many of the things she needs feel counterintuitive to me. I, like many other INTPs in the comments, want to comfort by pointing out facts about how to avoid scenarios like that in the future, or pointing out tricks to distract yourself or change your perspective, but these are not effective strategies for her (and I'm assuming other F types). We were highly conscious of the trap Stephanie described where INFJs are conflict avoidant and eventually resent and withdraw because we can't meet their needs. It really took both of us doing things that are hard for us, working through conflict (because our types are both feelings-conflict avoidant), learning alternate strategies, being explicit (for her), learning to read implicit clues (for me), for for us to translate our affection and desire to be together into something not just workable, but as close to ideal as I could imagine.
You're right about us infj's. I liked an intp in school and tried so hard to show him I was interested without actually saying the words. I knew his pitfalls but I didn't mind because I also saw how pure his heart was. He kept missing my signs and I he was just so cold. eventually grew really tired of having to chase him and the closest thing to any sort of interest he showed was being friendly once in a while. Years later I heard from a mutual friend that he was "in love" with me but never took action because he didn't believe he could ever get a woman like me. It pained me to hear that because I can see how fulfilling our relationship could be.
The hard part for me as an INTP male is shutting off my brain. I’m constantly overthinking and social/romantic situations probably bring this out at its worst as I am in my head instead of picking up and reading and reacting to social cues. I know this is a problem, but telling an INTP not to think is like telling them not to breathe.
When my current ENFJ girlfriend first told me she liked me I shut down in silence for a full hour trying to process the fact that a girl actually liked me.
When we had our first kiss, she gave me the power to decide whether or not to do it. I had never kissed a girl before, but after about 45 minutes of blank staring and processing I managed to kiss her.
I then fell to the floor in shock about what I just did.
As much as I don’t like these personality type tests and whatnot, it’s still interesting to see how relatable the type I got is to how I am.
Don’t cap about not liking the MBTI because you commented on an INTP video that you know good and well you looked up and viewed other videos about it as well.
*Is INTP*
Her: "I like you"
Me: "fr? Why?"
Other time, non-romantic friendship, in my head:
"Oh, she's crying, we didn't talk about this before hand, what're the boundaries rn? Should I comfort her? Should I let her close friends comfort her? Do I look like a jerk rn? I really hope this doesn't come across as jerk-ish."
💀💀💀💀💀
INTPs are
as an INTP female I’m more drawn to NF males, introvert ones with a huge gap.
I find their Emotional Intelligence as a Man very exquisite and mysterious.
ENFPs make great friends and a lot fun in common but too butterfly-ish as a partner.
dated an ENTJ for 3 years, bossy, possessive and conflicted with my independence
laughs in intp with infp bf
sock why?
Too butterflyish..? Explain please..? 👀
Agree. Might be INFP.
intp female here dating infp male, best thing. he is very independent but also very caring, like me.
When I was 6 years old, I walked up to a girl I never met before, and gave her my whole wallet. It had like 5 bucks in it. I didn't say anything, I then walked away and wondered if she would follow me. Yeah. "Slightly awkward" is not quite sufficient to describe it.
💀🤣💀🤣💀
I don't know why but that spiked my nostalgia and now I am very scared 0.0
Dead
Awkward or forward thinking? 😆
When someone tell me, “i miss you”. My answer usually “no! u don’t miss me. I’m just part of your routine.”
My ENFJ ex boyfriend hates me. He said i am too cold and heartless, and i told him that he is not logical, and doesn’t have the ability to separate feeling and problems to make solid decisions..
I think we (intp & enfj) are doom from the start
I understand the last part. I often think "why does this person make such emotional responses or decisions?" its hard for others
You’re wrong, tho. He does miss u cause u are part of his routine.
I'm an ENFJ, my ex girlfriend is an INTP. I was never bothered by the fact that she was "cold", I still liked her as a person. As soon as she built up distance because of whatever reason (right before we broke up), it kinda hit me hard. And I think it only seems like INTPs are cold and heartless but actually they do feel something, they just don't want to admit. I can't tell exactly how an INTP does feel, but I know how an INTP thinks.
Edit: ENFJ and INTP are actually a pretty good match. They can learn from each other and have a fun time. Also, they could discuss feelings more open which sadly didn't work out for me. They can misunderstand each other, but if they really liked each other, they wouldn't. That's the experience I made.
My ex is also an ENFJ, and I'm an INTP. Our relationship last for 6 months. I think it's quiet impressive.
Oh wow.. 😅
I hate it... because it is true. "You have to position yourself to be found by these types".... HOW?! Does this mean i just sit around in public and wait until someone talks to me? This seems to be very ineffective for me. Additionally i would need to be in public spaces which makes me uncomfortable enough.
and sitting in the public place, u might at some point get into some reading, and right at this moment when u really prefer to stay with this reading someone approaches u
Not just in public spaces. Seek for places where you can speak up and others can hear your unusual INTPish thoughts and opinions. For example, debate or book club. All the men, who were attracted to me, female INTP, did so because they noticed my quirky mind from the distance, and then approached me to discuss all the strange stuff I was talking about.
You can just sit anywhere minding your own business, but, unless you are really pretty or catch the eye, it'll take sooo long for anyone to approach you.
Yeah this is what im trying to do as much as i can. Go to a quiet bar alone and sit with a drink staring at the wall or shit like this. Can't make myself go to places where i have to talk, but at least that.
INTPs trying to date and find love in a nutshell: Imagine you are a person who struggles with understanding their own emotions, and are thrown into a scenario where you must also grasp and decode another person's emotions and feelings for you. You naturally have oblivious tendencies due to lacking this emotional depth, and intellectually you commonly doubt and view things with uncertainty until further testing is done, which means that you won't be as likely to even pick up when somebody has an interest in you. The courting process naturally involves a lot of subtlety and game playing, which is another form of emotional battle where feelings are only teased or hinted at, not openly spoken, which clashes with the part of the INTP that is more drawn towards bluntness and honesty. You would think to yourself, "If (insert name here) liked me, surely they would just tell me?" because you can only think of things in your own terms at times and struggle imagining other people handling situations differently than you.
THIS. And this is freaking torment. Eternal one that is.
The problem of dating as an INTP is being male
Females really want guys to initiate, and to keep the spark going.
Sorry.... i will turn into my "boring" self after a week of being together. I'm really bad at entertaining you through dates/activities. I'd prefer if we could watch netflix and eat snacks whole night
I totally wanna binge netflix with a bunch of snacks omg
@@pistachio6843 you're invited any time 😋
Hol up I need to get the pop corn-
@@pistachio6843 and a beer for me pls
Thats why and ENTJ pulls you ;) like I did ^~^
Fellow INTPs, I've recently discovered something that I think holds us all back.
OUR THINKING IS A TRAP!
If we try to make our lover(s) FEEL better by THINKING about their problems, we only make them worse.
Think when you're alone. When you're with others, try to remind yourself: "Be here now." "Let it be."
Just because we think we CAN solve every problem, doesn't mean we SHOULD. Try to only offer advice when it's requested. Otherwise, just be an empathetic shoulder to cry on.
This has been taking a lot of practice, but it's really helping me be a better friend and lover.
INTP’s can be the best out there they just need to realize how awesome they are and how cool they could be
"They wanna keep their options open. Not that they're going out and meeting tons of people all the time, but they like to think that they could" This is a dangerously accurate personal attack.
I'm an INTP. I haven't had long term relationships or even repeated dating since my early 20's in 1994.
Good choice
Hahah I'm an infp and my husband is intp. Basically, we shared a bus stop and had a mutual crush on each other for about 3-4 months until one day he sat by me on the bus and that was that! We dated 7.5 years before marriage, so def agree on a lot of your points
I´m an INTP, my ex-girlfriend is an INFP. I still love her after 3 years(in a respectful not obsessive way), but I left her because I have problems with commitment(just like in the video...). I love the warmth of an INFP, I´m wondering why these matches never talk about INTP/INFP matches. Either way, It´s incredible hearing about your marriage!
One of my best friends is an infp, but I would probably not do well in a relationship with one.
F-types are really nice to be around occasionally, but it can quickly be just too much of nothing, after which resentment will accrue exponentially.
Btw, how probable is a mutual crush? I mean, if that were completely random, it would basically never happen. However if it's somehow correlated - like through external traits - it could be reasonably expected. On the other hand, it seems to me that one person having a crush may cause the other person to develop one. But I don't really have experience to judge what's really the explanation, so if someone could enlighten me on that, I would greatly appreciate it
(Oh, and went do I feel like I'm trying to fit the stereotype now? : /)
“They are also simple puppies, they just want food and maybe some wine”
This is so me, can’t believe someone understands me.
I am that female INTP whom knew exactly who she liked, but completely oblivious of people who crushed on me. I would never initiate my crushes, because I always felt that I would either reject me, or just simply not like me, or understand me; and hope that they would rescue this lonely and tortured INTP heart.
Hi Sylvia! I'm an INFJ having a crush with an INTP, sometimes, I perceive just as you mention, that she likes me, but she also have some deep feelings that I can rejeact her one day. Could you give me some advices about how can I get closer to her? Best Regards!
@@MyMitchie13We are deep introverts and very keen on our boundaries so as a female a female INTP avoid any physical contact, or touching; and also avoid making too many completely about her good looks, her clothes and also avoid coming on too strong. When comes to kissing and holding hands, wait till it’s a sure thing that she is your girlfriend. We also don’t like guys whom make sexual advances too, too quick, as we’ll quickly get the impression that you are more interested in our body, as opposed to her intellect and mind.
Now that was the “don’t do’s”. One sure thing to get a female INTP, is to trigger her intellect by getting into intellectual conversations, and avoid small talk as we have so little patience for it. Of course as an INFJ, you shouldn’t have any difficulty with that. Also, be authentic, honest, and tell her what you expect in a relationship. Also, never be afraid to initiate conversations, as it is often so difficult for us to do so. I also really like it when guys show that they are genuinely interested in what we have to say; and I also love it when a guy has a great sense of honour and not take life too seriously. With is, you’ll also need lots of patience as we are very difficult to understand.
17 years old intp and i can already picture myself being the 30 years old intp guy who is laughing at the accuracy of this video
I'm 30 and not laughing at all.
I'm 30 and not laughing at all.
Hi. I’m INTP and I love reading INTP comment sections. I finally found my people. 😭
same
I recently had a crush on someone.
Two weeks later, I have not asked her out or anything... but I've analyzed what attracted me down to the paragraphs, her skill sets, which ones I am interested in or compatible with, her probable emotional state and needs, her emotional history, the potential impact of a culture shock, the political situation in her area and how it might affect me, a timeline for probable mutual projects, the unique assets I might provide in the relationship, the list of comprises to be made on each side, etc. etc.
I have this huge map of connections and nodes, with general odds and probabilities for the most important interactions... and I was then left paralyzed by the inability to calculate the best ways to communicate my interest.
"Do I play it cool... play hard to get... abandon... or go full stalker and give a hint into the model I built around my infatuation? And for any of those scenarios... how do I best craft my communication?"
Good one lol, I felt that
I'd say at least try to connect to her by talking somehow. I know it is hard. I ended up writing one huge paragraph explaining why we would be an incredible fit and why we should be together for the rest of our lives to a person who I barely ever spoke with. Yeah that didn't work out lol so just play it cool and hope that she will make a move someday. Once she makes that move do let her know you are interested too. Important detail for sure
@@luc6284, it was just a crush on a pen pal. A pretty intense one, but someone else wrote something relevant:
"If (X doesn'T materialize), we're left wondering why we even bothered in the first place."
Anyway, I explicitly detailed my attraction and we're cool with it. The attraction was miscalibrated in the first place because I crushed hard over some specific sentences that alluded to potential interest in a specific subject but for which wasn't really so.
In my case, I knew that it was improbable that she had a developing interest in (politics) and that I probably had to wait for the emotions to pass through.
Remembered Froggy with this
hmmm, I tend to be into people from foreign lands (only a few select ones usually). Is that an INTP trait? Some other countries aren't as outgoing or loud as Americans or other countries, so for me, that is part of the draw. I also find people from other countries _who immigrate_ more open-minded usually.
"You can't just go up to an INTP and say I like you..."
Haha, reminded me of some incidents in high school and college. It was exactly like that. I think in most cases it was girls I wasn't and wouldn't be interested in, so that just increased the "Why?" factor. Actually, I usually had a weird, logical, pseudo-sensitivity response when I didn't like the person. I knew it wasn't right to tell them how awful or unappealing they are, so I would try to let them down easy with a long, drawn out process of disinterest and avoidance.
When I was in high school, a girl told me she liked me. I thought it was a joke so I laughed. She started crying. It wasn't a joke.
Bro, same.
@@ark_alcor1048 damn
INxP here.
3:38 I've asked women out, but it's incredibly rare. I've only done it with girls I have repeated interactions with, like a customer at my work, or a worker at one of my regular stops, or a classmate, and even then only the ones that give me certain vibe, and I have to summon a godly amount of willpower to make the first move. And if I notice a girl smile at me, I usually dismiss it as politeness, but sometimes I analyze it later and think _"damn, I should've said something."_
relateable
Problem with me is that I read people so well that once I find someone I’m interested in and they are Interested in me, my feelings come across much stronger because I fully dedicate myself to everything and everyone that I’m interested in.
So it’s good that I’m loyal and dedicated from the start but I don’t have the proper social skills to understand boundaries.
I’m an INTP woman who found another INTP to love. It took a very long time for either of us to make the first move but we finally got there. Been married with children for almost 10 years now. It’s nice to have someone who understands you, especially when I drift off in my head.
@Minty Badger I am a female INTP and I found a male INTP that I really like. We've had 7hr and 4hr conversations and I think about him often (this is rare). I don't want it to take a long time before we get romantic. Do you think I should initiate even though I'm the female in the situation? Any other tips that might help? I appreciate any help you can provide.
I'm an INTP and what makes dating for me so hard is that I generally start to lose interest in people when they start to act illogically. There was a girl I used to talk with, we had an argue over something ... well guess what I killed it and she was like : "You're so close minded, care only about your opinion." We haven't talked since.
Im an INTP raised by a mother that didnt give affection or recognition. Took me my whole 20s to figure out how things really are and systematically train myself for all the social situations all the types of people out there. It required years of psychotherapy and two years of single travelling to get to where I am now, able to go for what I want in my personal life without paralysing myself with analysis or selfdoubt, while still be able to use my internal analysis, but for more reasonable initial filtering and cathing details about people to ask about them to make them feel more interesting, I studied body language and tones of voices to catch all the things I am not naturally tunned to catch and simply engraved into my brain how this system works. Someone should have told me to approach all of this the same way I approach my work when I enter a new company, I knew how to do that earlier than how do it with social interactions.
Bro i feel you. Im 23 and had the same start. But unfortunately money is a real struggle and i can't go to therapy or travel. So im just figuring out on my own. Forcing myself to do what i don't like gradually (socializing), and just expanding my bank of patterns and little things to be able to decrypt people's thoughts and reactions. I managed to somehow develop fully artficial empathy using this micro-patterns. Still don't feel shit, but at least can understand that other person feels like this.
Intp girl here :'(
I love complex and mysterious people
It would be awesome to have a girl to take initiative, a bit extroverted to pull me out, willing to analyze stuff and that doesn't care about my awkwardness.
Welp, I guess I'll end up like that guy in the Her movie
Lots of E-girls into putting up with the awkwardness
ENTJ and INTJ are spot on, my biggest crushes were either super confident and assertive (ENTJ) or more shy and awkward nerds than me (INTJ)
and ENFJ my third biggest crush
Be an intp is like playing an hardcore telltale game around others:
Inside my head:
"Ok so this beautiful girl is saying me "Hi [my firstname] !"and is smiling at me I don't know why yet...
But Quick I have to answer back!!!
Let's check my options...
-Say hi back
It's rather safe, but... what is her name again? If I'm wrong she will cringe and not talk to me again...
Moreover, it's really Boring, I should at least launch a subject...
-Talk about geek or Otaku stuff
I have plenty of things to tell but it's really out of place, she's probably too popular to be into this... Or maybe I'm just stating cliché, I have to know her better for this...
-Act as a cool Guy that Care about Boring popular stuff like school life
Uhh I tried it before, if she investigate I'll get caught and it's even MORE cringey! I can't build a sane relationship on act...
- Prétend I have an emengency and flee
I can't Always do that! I have to be brave for once and just be normal!
-Be natural
Yes, very funny It doesn't means anything! Quick I'm wasting too much Time!!!
-Tell a joke
I'm too stressed out, It will not be funny ..
-Ask how she's doing
Hey, not Bad! I will gain Time and Learn more about her!
----------TIME ELAPSED----------
She's Gone now... Uhh whatever I don't need anyone in fact she don't know what she's missing!
So I'm going to eat chocolate to not feel better and post a comment on a yt Channel about my wonderful life!
Smooth, really smooth
this is the most accurate description of what goes through my mind when someone says hi to me
Oh my, really this long? I never imagine INTPs do this xD
Title: finding love is hard for intps
Me: no shit!
interesting image.. as an intp do you consider the maxim 'might is right' to be true?
@@chipsfalling8625 Nope, i just love Palpatine memes! :D
But...but you’re the Senate.
This video is so scarily accurate. I've been in hysterics watching it after coming across the 16 personalities 10 days ago. I'm a little disappointed to find I can be summarized in so few pages (of course) but what a great tool. The whole Myers-Briggs system gives me hope.
There was a very pretty girl. Jenny, who sat behind me in math class in school. Every lesson she would sing Rod Stewart - Do You Think I'm Sexy to me. It was at least 15 years later I finally realized she was actually flirting with me, not that she just liked the song. Whoops! She was nice too. I did like her; but of course had no idea how to react to that.
Being a male INTP sucks, because our society has it so ingrained that the males have to initiate.
Thanks to a humiliating experience, a painful betrayal and the fact I have severe difficulty with reading the "cues" I can't trust anyone anymore, YES! You HAVE to prove you like me because it really hurts when you open your heart to someone and they stomp on it😭
Cruel people and my overactive analysis have doomed me to a lonely life.
Better be alone than being with wrong people mate. The odds are stacked against us pretty much.
INTP here. Had a funny flirting situation a few years ago. At one point She goes: „...and I find you attractive“ and I literally go: „I really respect you finding me attractive, and I find you quite attractive aswell, but your statement won‘t change my beliefe of myself not being attractive“ 🤦🏼♂️ and she responds by saying she feels the same about herself not being attractive. One of the few flirting moments I had in life.
lol, I (INTP male) just say thanks and nothing else. I look in her eyes and Hug
Yes being clueless, awkward, low confidence, solitary and nervous around women I liked is why it took me till the age of 24 before I had my first date.
INTP and asexual, so for me the whole "flirting" thing is a very vague concept: I know it exists because others talk about it.
I like how you described your acquietance's crush as "very INTP". My second (and last) crush is an INTJ that extensively helped me on the job - and only for the job's sake, he did not asked me anything in exchange albeit it is very common in my workplace. That's why I took a liking in him. Very job oriented. I love my job.
Hah, you've had crushes, a whopping 2 of them, and you claim to be asexual? lul...
You might be sexually awkward, or sexually restrained, but asexual you are not. :)
I've never even had a crush, but i am certainly not asexual... As long as hormones are active in my body, i will always have a sexuality, i will always be sexual... This applies to everyone with active sexual hormones (Produced by functional sexual organs), no exceptions. :P
@@MyouKyuubi ... You kind of answered it yourself. You can be attracted by someone and not love them. Or you can love someone and not be attracted by them. For instance, you can also find bisexuals that can fall in love with only one gender, but they're still sexually attracted to both males and females.
Hormones have absolutely nothing to do with one's sexuality; when they tried to give testosterone to gay males to turn them straight, their only goal was to make them more horny... but still toward other males!
@@Starseed86 "Hormones have absolutely nothing to do with one's sexuality"
Wrong.
It is a scientifically proven fact that without sexual organs to produce hormones in your body, your brain cannot get a breeding response to what it considers viable sexual partners.
Sometimes, people think they are Asexual, until they discover that their brain recognizes a jar of dirt as a viable sexual partner... Basically they have a weird fetish.
The only way to truly be asexual, is if you are a Eunuch, chemically speaking... As in, your Ovaries, or Testicles do not produce sex hormones for you... Or have been removed from your body, thus removed their ability to inject said hormones into your bloodstream.
What you describe as love, doesn't actually exist, that is a breeding instinct with a pinch of obsession added to it... If you fall in love, you are sexual... Your opinion on the matter, is subjective and therefore quite frankly, irrelevant... :P
Science is never wrong.
"when they tried to give testosterone to gay males to turn them straight"
Hormones don't necesarily define what kind of sexuality you have, only if you are sexual or not.
What sexuality you have, depends on the molecular structure of your brain and your thought patterns... And trust me, that can create some truly bizarre results...
Some people are only sexually attracted to disease, as in, the concept of Disease, and being infected, turns them on.
Some people are sexually attracted to feet... Some are attracted to animals, i mean the imagination is the only limit here... And yes absolutely, some of these sexualities are highly destructive and unsanitary. xD
I'm sure you're heard of Necrophiliacs and Pedophiles? Not even the tip of the iceberg, it's just a snowflake on the iceberg. :S
Just because you haven't discovered your sexuality yet, doesn't mean you are asexual, it means one of two things, you are either sexually blind, or sexually restrained. ;P
@@Starseed86 I guess you either deleted your comment due to discovering the flaw in your argument, or youtube yeeted your comment from existence. >_>
Good talk i guess?
@@MyouKyuubi
Paraphilias and Orientations are two different thigs, and you are mixing them up.
My opinion is irrelevant and so it's yours, because an opinion is not a fact. In this study about eunuchs, you can see that the 64.9% retained their attraction towards their preferred gender even after the castration. Only 7.9% became non-sexual. Of course there is a connection, but it's not as important and absolute as you claim it to be.
Science is never wrong, but scientists, being human, can be wrong.
www.researchgate.net/publication/296621514_Gender_preference_in_the_sexual_attractions_fantasies_and_relationships_of_voluntarily_castrated_men
I remember back in the 6th grade, my very first... I guess you could say "boyfriend" said he liked me in a note. The next day I gave him a survey. I wrote out 3 different categories of questions sprawled out 15 minutes before I went to class. 1. Why do you like me 2. What does dating mean for you 3. miscellaneous questions to know who I'm dealing with. (I.E. Have you had past relationships, what happened?) we broke up 6 months later because he liked someone else. But now that I think about it, it's almost funny that a little 12 year old is giving background checks on secret admirers.
Now that I think about it... I also made a survey like test for the tooth fairy too. That's how I figured out she wasn't real.
37 year old intp, i recognize your description when i was a teenager or a young adult.
But when i was like 25 , i changed radically, i was taking more risks with women, and didn’t fear rejection that much. I had a couple of dates when i initiated the chat, and i was very audacious quickly.
I became more confortable with my emotions, i can easily express my feelings, and didn’t act awkward anymore.
You earned my respect bruh!!
@@saiss7514 i am not the only one, every intp has the strength to achieve this.
As we are honest with our self, we can improve our skills
In my later twenties, I just got myself more into an ENTP mood and it worked very, very well with the girls. You can do that! After marriage, I fell back into my real INTP self. Job done.
The way you are explaining is comfy to hear and understand :)
Thank you!
INTP's Ne be like "let's let this play out and see where it goes" :P
Girl, you must be a .50 BMG because that accuracy is painful.
I love that bit though.
'You cant just tell them you like them because then they go: why?'
Dude im like 2 min in and she already landed 3 lethal shots.
And honestly that something that we look for.
Like we are always misunderstood, and sometimes we dont even understand ourselves.
Which is why i love MBTI: its okay, you are the weird one, but there is other cool shit u can do.
I think if you think of INTP = college professor, you'll rarely go wrong, even if they aren't one.
Doctorate here, have taught in a college and two universities! I even had a total stranger walk up to me in a restaurant and ask "are you a university professor?... ah, thought so, you look like one!"
Lol
lmao i am 19 and my dream job is literally being a professor in a university
Hard is an understatement if you are an INTP. I am ready to retire and I’ve already accepted the high probability of dying alone without anyone but my land lord to find out when the rent check is late.
That’s what I’m thinking since I entered my 30s 😅
Idk if it helps you, but we all die alone. Many who live with others, feel lonely or paid for the commitment with sacrifices you might not want to make, if you were in their shoes.
You don't have to live your life as a lonely person, and, like my INTP landlord, who is in his 80s and single, you can find happiness in company of people you like spending time and share interests with. I'm a single INTP woman, and not a day goes by, when I don't feel lucky to be able to share a house with this lovely, quirky and interesting man. He's an active community member, interested in photography, writing, composing music (most of those things we learnt in his 50s and 60s) and I think that's the key to his mental and physical fortitude, as well as positivy.
I’m an INFP who approached my INTP first. He found hinself in a position to be approached, like you said, by separating from his group of friends and going out on his own during college. For the other INFPs out there who’s scared to initiate: don’t be! Just make the first move as you see fit, and let the winds of fate guide you haha. It’ll take several meetings before INTPs start to like you, but the more you exchange information, the more they’ll open up and become attracted to you.
OMG I'm INFP as well, it was really hard for me, I really scare I might give him stress during these time when I'm around with him. Like he couldnt play with his friends somethings. I try to not to interrupt him and his daily normal life with others, but it is still a bit hard for me to ask him :hey can we hang out? , it really stress me out but I really like him. He didn't really have feeling for me yet, but we r just testing for now, it is a bit hard for us because long distance but I hope it work it out.
Opposite over here :) intp male with an infp. She was the one to actually introduce me to this personality imbt thing lol. Now I am trying to figure out whatever i can on this personality thing. The problem is that I don’t really care about it that much and still I get myself dragged here😅
Ummm she is just amazing. Really understanding to whoever she’s interacting with and very much smart. We understand each other and like each other’s company. She is such a beautiful person. Wish there were more of u guys ur ideal ideas and love of art and life itself would make the world a better place than this chaotic dumpster we live in now. “Sorry world but humanity happened and made u like this”. This is something that’ll she say after I guess 😅
She was the one who approached first actually too. 🍀 I guess 😁
@@rastafaris225 oh that is very nice to hear, I actually also the one who introduced him the personality imbt test too hahha, may I ask r u two together now?
Heyy I’m an INFP too. And 6 months ago I met an INTP. He was mysterious, intelligent. (And he had really beautiful red hair) I just liked being around him, but we knew from the beginning it wouldn’t work between us because we lived in a different country. He is English and I am French. It was passionate, and still today idk what he has been thinking of me. It’s so hard to describe your emotions INTPs!! I think he got scared. I just wanted to share my experience, if any INTP has something to say about it. I’m kinda desperate I really wish I could meet him again some day to continue that love story. But I know his rationality would come back at any moment to stop it. Because he would think it is not possible to be in a long distance relationship even though he likes me.
Tara Marine please feel free to ask anything. I am glad that someone actually replied back lol it’s my first comment :) and yeah we are together now. Feel like you wanna ask more questions? 😂
Wow! This is so accurate. I'm an INTP and my husband is an ENFJ.
As an ENTJ, it's so hard to find INTP girls, also it's very attractive when you're awkward coz it immediately makes me feel at ease and it's funny to watch resulting in immediate entertainment value.
As an INTP girl I feel the same about ENTJs. I think I’ve only met one that I’ve interacted with in my life 😅
Pretty sure laughing at us would not go over well. Aim for being charmed, instead. ENTJs should be with INFPs. They're even more adorable and could use a Te dominant to help with their inferior function.
@@gretagrotto5858 I never understood why an ENTJ would like an INFP, I've got a friend thats INFP and we don't get along coz hes always so secretive about everything, always late, flaky as hell, negative experience overall. Obviously anecdotal. I definitely don't get along with INFJs either. I think if the other person isn't extremely talkative, it makes it really hard coz I'm too direct and to the point so convos don't last that long before needing to jump to the next topic/concept/point.
@@AnonW Introverts can be talkative with the people they're closest to. Maybe your INFP friend needs to learn to trust you. Or do conversations suffer too? I'd say I'm less talkative than even the average INTP, but that's for initiating convos. Once it starts, I'm too curious to not extend it - for hours, easily. For example, I'd like to know why the INFJ is a problematic personality for you. They're supposed to be excellent partners for INTPs, but frankly, none of the NFs in my life have proven to be healthy enough to be intellectually attractive as life partners, including the INFJ. The NFs non-evidence-based view of reality always gets in the way. Perhaps we should both stick to NT types.
@@gretagrotto5858 This here is a good example of why I like NT types, you state your thoughts and opinions clearly and provide follow up questions due to your curiosity. This makes conversation flow really naturally and effortlessly. From my experience, INFPs and INFJs are overly private there are other types who are also overly private but these 2 I have more experience.
I usually like to dig deep into whatever we're discussing coz I'm trying to get to the root cause or key points so I can't have much of a convo with people who dodge questions, don't want to answer or keep everything shallow/surface level, it's just uninteresting to me.
I especially hate small talk coz its like you're watching your fav show and all of a sudden theres a whole season of filler episodes.
My mom is an INFJ and she drives me nuts coz the forces her ideals and religion down your throat with no logical reasoning what so ever and expects me to have "blind faith" LOL.
I also have in INFJ friend who is so obsessed with "being normal" like any time me and my INTJ friends do something thats against the norm he steps in and basically ruins the mood, hes like a party pooper.
Then I had an ex that was an INFJ and God dating her was draining, it's like I have to squeeze every drop of convo out of her and she often just straight up doesn't reply for days when I thought we were finally getting to the interesting part of a convo and shes the one that initiated the convos. I honestly don't get her at all when it comes to behavior, I could only get her in terms of her philosophy and outlook on life.
Most of my friends are INTJ, I think they make decent friends for entertainment but not for a spouse coz theres a major lack of emotion between us.
I am an INTP female here and I chose to stay alone for the rest of my life, being social and finding a decent match for me was so hard that it became really stressful and depressing 😐
dang that’s tough. im sure you’ll find someone. (that is if you want)
We like to keep our options open. Not that there are any options but we like to think there are.
Yep. That's a pretty accurate statement. Also when I do find someone I really really like I enter what I call relationship mode. The state where my heart only longs for one special girl who makes me feel special wanted and every other girl in the world loses their appeal. That's how the super loyalty happens.
Yeah I agree. I have no problem with c omitting, is she doesn't have problem with committing. But as long as relationship isn't solid, I'm not going be the one who gets suckered in hurt the most.
I feel INTPs can date anyone if they learn to listen to their Fe. In my experience INTPs can be great at dating but struggle with leaving a relationship. INTPs Their dominant Ti makes them a great problem solver for things in the relationship and Ne makes them full of ideas and things to talk about that many types will enjoy. I think INTPs can date ENFPs because of their Ne and very curious. Turbulent ENFPs who can’t control themselves are difficult but I’ve met many ENFPs who are very nice and amazing to chat with. ENTPs are also great. I think if INTPs listen to their Fe they can be amazing using logic to help a problem but with praise too. I had an ESFJ mom and INFJ dad so my Fe has grown a lot and helps in a relationship. I still have INTP struggles like moving on from a relationship, over thinking, and arguing but Fe helps INTPs and knowing what each type likes helps them in dating. I have learned about what each type is like so I can understand points of view. It’s why ESFJs are a soft spot because their strengths of friendliness helps INTPs weak Fe
INTP happily married to an ISTJ for 12 years now. What can I say, sometimes theories need to be tested.
Does she leave you little notes everywhere reminding you of what you have to do, or lists?
Mine did.
I don't even know the difference between just being friendly and flirting :')
As an ENTP I would absolutely want an INTP. Just imagine the sweet, sweet, logic we could make together.
great best friend :)
At the age of 61, I am finally looking back at my youth and young adulthood and seeing how many cues I missed! Some were not even flirting, but brazen throwing herself at me -- and I dismissed it, assuming it was just some inexplicable game that I shouldn't take seriously. All that ever got through to me was simple friendship, that would then grow into romance. Initiative was then basically completely mutual and simultaneous.
Oh yeah, tell me about it 🤦
INFJ here. I'm doing my research to learn about this personality, because there's an INTP that I'm highly interested in. I understand her quite a bit or I just get her. Maybe it's because of my little bro who's an INTJ...but I wouldn't exactly know. Thanks for this video 😅😁. I'll keep learning.
Lil bit awkward is a huge understatement in my case
Aren't we all a lil' bit awkward? ;)
I (INFP) think this must be the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard 🥰 … 1000x better than flowers and dinner. As someone who likes an INTP and is waiting for him to approach me, I say just follow your instinct and ask her out. The rest will follow… you guys have way better instincts in the moment than you give yourselves credit for!
Anyone else accepted the fact that the chances of dying alone,are twice as high compared to finding someone to love?
Twice as high? Now there's an understatement if I've ever heard one.
Everybody dies alone, even if people are around
I am a female INTP and have problems knowing if a man is into me, but also a problem with people thinking I like a man in a romantic way when I do _not_ at all.
There is a shortage of Russian men, so I have no illusions that I will get one, but Russian men being forward and direct is something I long for in a man. Russians are called cold, but so are INTPs. I think we save our best, our warmth for those who've earned our trust and respect. Internal energy (thoughts and emotions) have high value that many other personality types under look and under value.
Guy came up to me (we met at work the day earlier) and said he liked me. My first thought was, "why?" lol
as an intp i hate the "chase" and "game" ideally two people are just like: i like you, i also like you.
Here I am, an INFJ with a serious crush on my incredibly cute and smart INTP friend, who made it rather clear he wouldn't be interested in me.
This guy also asked me to help him understand love better by sharing my experiences and thoughts (someone thinking my input is valuable? Kryptonite.) since he has a hard time making sense of this type of emotions and navigating between interpersonal relationships.
I am supposed to guide him through that AS A FRIEND and of course I'm gonna do it without saying I like him. Because I'm an idiot.
The fact that our types are compatible according to this video doesn't help.
So to summarise: FML.
Have you tried sincerely asking him why he isn't interested in you?
If it is a physical thing (e.g. I can't date brown eyed girls because I take relationships seriously and I'd like my children to have blue eyes like me). Then well, fyl indeed.
But if it is other kind of problem I can see him changing opinion. The main three reasons I can't love someone are disrespect (he asked for your opinion so he respects you), lack of intellectual interest (again, no), or fear.
Fear has several modes. Fear to express the deep feelings (because 99% of the time, when we sincerely open to someone, we end up hurt 10 minutes later), fear to being desillusioned with the other people after knowing her better (because they are bad, selfish, superficial or boring), fear of rejection (no matter how good we feel with someone, trust each other, talk deeply... the last bit of that fear never really abandon us).
So, if fear is the case, your best bet is to make him understand that you are pure, understanding, sincere. That you won't hurt him ever. Also open yourself to talk about your weird INFJ experiences that nobody understands about you; I feel great if I have to use all my capabilities to understand someone that has "weird" experiences and patterns.
So, if he really made it clear that is not interested (that means saying it), asking why is the way to go, because you will show yourself so brutally that you may even gain his heart out of that question (if he is just a little receptive).
It you believe he is not interested but you are not 100% sure, focus the question in other say, because if he knows you assumed his thinking wrong, you probably fucked up.
I don't know if I am getting the full picture here, so I have a little fear to fail and make you both feel bad. Please first and foremost trust your gut feelings.
Btw, ofc INTP here, but I got obsessed with integrating feelings into logical intuitive patterns, so I end up being decent at reading feelings between lines and deeply understanding people. I hope I can help you both, and I'd like to get news :)
@@rinrietyunlihag6045 that was incredibly thoughtful of you. I definitely wasn't expecting anyone to respond, so I appreciate you taking the time to do this.
The problem has several layers (or at least I see it as multilayered) so there's a lot to address. But I'll keep your advice in mind when trying to tackle it.
Nothing really developed since I've posted my comment, so there's not much I can say other than thank you so much.
@@Octobris I am glad that my words were considered, thanks to you! You seem a person of quality who is worth helping, so if anytime need someone to talk, debate weird stuff, or cry over a virtual shoulder, here I am! (PM if you prefer)
Smile, and have a great day!
@@Octobris I'm invested in the results
Not me randomly coming back to this video and seeing the comment I posted a year ago.
Meant to come back earlier with a longer response but after overthinking it, I simply forgot.
The situation has changed since my original comment but detailing everything makes me sad so all I'm gonna say is:
1. He still doesn't know and won't know until June.
2. I am in pain.
3. He's the love of my life.
INTP lady here. Married with kids. But since especially the INTP female does not match the expectations of what a women and mom should be, it creates immense stress on us. A note to other INTP ladies out there, think carefully if you will be able to handle your own and others criticism of you not 'fulfilling' the norm per expectations. Sometimes being alone is better than to be in an unhappy relationship.
I like your personality, warmth and presentation style. You're super personable!
Thank you so much! :)
1:10 - 1:22 ... this is soooooo accurate ... reminds me of this one time when one of my friends confessed that he liked me and my first response was “why ? Why me ? Why not someone else ? What did you like about me?” ..
My previous relationship I should've never entered and I knew it but I still did anyway because I was so excited and attracted to the person and wanted to test a new experience. Any other INTPs find themselves knowingly not following logic for the sake of experience?
Interested to hear whether other INTPs feel the same...
Ignoring logic and doing things for the sake of the experience is one of my super powers. That's pretty much what spurred me going on dates in the past.
However, age and maturity kept me from doing it as often as I did in my teens and 20s until I met my INTJ boyfriend.
Out
All the time, lol.
You're not gonna learn anything new, if you aren't willing to break a few eggs after all.
Of course, i don't engage in any self-destructive activities, but sometimes, i will say yes to something i usually say no to, just to spice things up a bit... Gotte get out of that comfort zone sometimes, to stretch my legs. :]
Yes.
Yes, I think INTPs are like this all the time. We are logical and rational because of that we are not afraid to make our own decisions. It is only human to seek out an experience we are not robots that operate on logic 24/7. I think it is also the reason why INTPs are on of the most likely type to get addicted to substances (based on a paper) since we take warning labels with a grain of salt and like to do our own research and make our own choices.
INTP male 29 here, best relationship I've ever had was with an ENFJ female. I love the way she complimented my life
So my boyfriend told me that he loves me and and I instantly asked why? And he started giving reasons until I finally started appreciating his love. 🤦🏻♀️😂
"She bought him a hot chocolate." Can confirm, I married a woman three years after she offered me a beef stew during a 12 person group project in college, she offered to go buy it and bring it to me so I wouldn't have to stop working.
INFJ male about to marry a female INTP and she’s just the sweetest and smartest person I’ve ever met. We’ve had so many good conversations and moments as friends.We’re deciding to do something neither of us actually thought would happen before meeting the other let alone actually ever end up doing, that is living with and sharing ourselves further with someone else on a more permanent level.