This worked for me. However, when he came back, I didn't want him. I like to stop by here, give a like, and say something supportive to those struggling. DO NOT GIVE UP! No contact gets them back. It will get you back. As soon as you acknowledge how bad they hurt you and, you're not willing to let them hurt you again. You may not be there yet. Just meet yourself where you're at today. Are you sad (that's normal)? If you're anxious (normal, too). Try to accept that’s where you're at in this process. Please stop judging yourself endlessly for what you're feeling. YOU ARE WORTHY! You'll get through this; stay strong. You are a beautiful person, and you deserve so much more than you allow in your life.
This worked for me! But it was a long process. I took Coach Lee’s advice and he came back after I went no contact for 4.5-5 mos. When he came back I took things very slowly. After 3 mos of seeing each other intentionally, I brought up the convo and we are now official. I couldn’t be happier
Congrats! I thought I was alone and waiting 3 and 1/2 months. Everybody seems to say that after 90 days it's pretty much hopeless. Today's a really really difficult day for me. I just want to be able to hear her and talk to her again but at the same time I hate her for hurting me. There are days when I really really really really struggle like today and then after hearing all these negative things about how this long out it's hopeless it really helps to see that somebody else's having success even months after I've been waiting but she's a girl so I don't know if that makes a difference. I didn't even do anything wrong. She even said that she wasn't good for me and that she was sorry really really sorry and I told her we weren't going to break up and I wasn't going to give up on her but she just stopped responding
Just want to share a story from someone I know. Her ex broke up with her after a 9 years relationship, he reached out and wanted to get back after 14 months, but she already moved on and started dating someone else. This story keeps myself motivated as well. Hope that it also give some of you comfort.
I find that it's important to "show" them that you respect their decision to break up, and leave them be for a time, long enough to register the respect.....
This advice saved my marriage. I was separated from my husband for a year and a half with daily contact. Begged and cried and made a complete mess of myself in front of him. Found out about the no contact rule. He came back four months later and we worked it out. Been back together and going strong for nearly four years now.
@Taran532 wow, thank you for sharing. My husband and I have been seperated since 12/2023. We were talking daily .I cried and begged. Decided to start NC started 5/27/24. I'm trying this as a last effort before I walk. I am already beginning to feel.indifferent, the love is still there but not going to stay married like this much longer. It's my fault because we have been talking daily but he will He call and call, text and text, and get mad if I don't answer. He wants to know what I am doing about my day...had to set boundaries with NC
@@Notwithoutmyheels be polite but let him know you are honoring the breakup (his decision) and that you are husband and wife or you are nothing. There can be no in between.
@@bouhaddikarim4810that’s interesting. I have ADHD, and I guess as the dumpee, the impulsiveness has made NC so difficult. I feel like I have to talk to them. But now I’m committed to NC for my own sake. I have to. Ex coming back or not.
Been in no contact for 3 months now, and I'm starting to find solace with myself. While in no contact, my 3 other ex's have all expressed their interest in getting back with me in some way or another. They always come back, even if it's years down the line you are never forgotten. Work on yourself and accept whatever the universe brings to your life, just exist and let what needs to happen just happen.
@@Fuzzydragon-ng7qt 5 to 6 months into NC, still nothing from my ex. I've started seeing someone else that treats me better, but I still think about my ex frequently. I've reached a point where I'm not concerned about her coming back, but still have faith she'll reach out in time. What I've learned? Everyone wants what they can't have. Consider the psychology of attachment styles, and if your ex is avoidant it'll be up to you to end NC if you want a short term resolution, but I personally am expecting a longer period of "what ever happened to this person" always floating in my mind.
@@Fuzzydragon-ng7qtcould've sworn I responded to this earlier, so sorry if this is a double reply. TLDR I'm 5 and half months into no contact, nothing from my ex, but I'm seeing somebody who treats me better. Holding faith I'll hear from my ex like all the rest, but I'm finally at a point where I don't mind either way.
@@SkullObsessed69 I’m glad…I’m almost 2 months to no contact and I’m still hyperfixated on her (really bad adhd). But I have been working on myself a lot, lost 50lbs, gained a lot of muscle, maybe a new amazing job soon…
@@Fuzzydragon-ng7qt don't just stop there brother. I used the breakup motivation to LITERALLY become 5x the man, maybe even more, but I'm at a point where now that it's all paying off I'm losing that hypermotivation. Keep yourself moving and keep the faith that it all works out based on how hard you work yourself 💪
This worked for me! I swear I didn’t think it was going to work! It’s been 13 days since no contact and aggressively focused on my own life and betterment and guess who contact me on this day? My ex. Who made it clear when we broke up that it would take a miracle for us to get back together. I was so hurt. And I believed his words of finality. But now he is wanting us to be together and would you believe if I said that now, I’m good. I think I’m going to continue enjoy being alone. So the breakup was absolutely a blessing
Just a few days from hitting a year of NC. These videos have helped me tremendously over that time, though mostly at the start and less now that I’m over it all. NC started as a way to bring her back but turned to keeping it to better myself. I’ve come out of the fog and see her as the person she is not as who I thought she could’ve been. Proud of myself to make it this far and am so much healthier mentally and physically. It gets easier everyone! Pick up a positive hobby. Mine has been going to the gym religiously. I’m a different person than I was a year ago but all for the better. To anyone out there struggling, just keep with it and distract yourself on those bad days.
I begged for more than a month, until he already blocked me. It helps when he finally blocked me. I just realized now that I lost myself for begging and pleading 🥺. I'm healing now with my own emotional attachment and learning from it. Thanks to my ex for making me realize to love myself more than giving all of me to a relationship.
I just want to say Coach Lee, Coach Ken and coach Rex are relationship savers! I did no contact for 6 months, put so much work into myself and then he came back. It was a lot of tough work and conversations, but we have never been better! Keep the faith and no matter it will work out how it's supposed to
My ex bf reached out after 30 days No Contact. However, I am used to having on my own. His presence and communication no longer excite me. He was able to withstand 30 days NC with me, I have chosen to move on and choose my peace. Thank you Coach Lee!
@@ArjanTV Hello! It's not about boosting my ego. It's just that the relationship isn't going anywhere. I talked with him when he reached out, never ignored him when he reached out. My feelings are sincere and genuine and I really wanna build a future with him. But I feel like he doesn't need me in his life. I prefer to move on than to be an option and placeholder for him. I would rather be on my own than be with someone who makes me feel so alone.
I hope NC worked for you. Lee’s videos helped me a lot 3 years ago when I was in a downward spiral of stress, anxiety and anger. Since day 1 I initiated no contact and I guess I’m in the 1% that never looked back and never heard or saw her again. Imho, NC allowed me to learned a lot of things about me and her. It was extremely difficult but totally worth it. Don’t expect they will come back and if they do it may take years or even better…they won’t. Stay strong!!!
I have watched a lots of these videos 4 years ago; so I thought lets watch one for the nostalgy. These videos helped me a lot when I was heartbroken, it also made me stronger and has given me a lots of insights in relationships. In my case I was waiting and hoping for a year and a few months,but after that I closed the door behind me and moved on. I became a better version of myself and enjoyed life again. After 3 years she came back (and how) but it is way to late , maybe there was a change but she doesn't have the patience. I just keep my balance and stay in my zone. And if she goes away.. so be it! What I want to say to al the heartbroken souls.. Stay strong and keep on working at yourself (I know its not easy but just keep trying) Even in the beginning the 'no cantact rule' was the last thing I wanted to hear but as I see it now.. It's so powerfull! I hope for all of you to have your love back! And if not... stand your ground! At the far horizon there is a sun waiting with new and great life-experiences..
Dear Coach Lee, you helped my in the darkest period of my life when not only break up happened but also few other traumatic events at the same time. It kept me going although 2 years went by and she never looked back Im glad I sticked to NC because at least I saved my dignity. Thank you. You are a life saver sir.
Broke up 5 months ago. Talked the first month and stopped hearing from her after that. I only called twice to no avail, left it at that. Texted her after friend brought me my clothes i had left at her house. Still nothing. Was doing fine and forgetting, but i had a breaking point and felt she had moved on. Reached out asking to talk and she actually responded asking why. Opened up, just saying i miss her. Cold response: i have nothing else to offer you. I just replied with "okay" and thats been it. Couple weeks later it is confirmed she has a new partner. Im not sure how long they have been together, but that would just be unthinkable for me. I love her so much and i truly believe our love was special. I have options, but its just too soon. I dont want a relationship, i just want her. These videos have helped so much. I am never reaching out again.
He came back after three years. Thanks coach Lee for making some strong and being my peace and solace on those worst days. Eventually he came back. So don’t give up hope. But I no longer want him back so I blocked him. It feels amazing to be the one who blocked him everywhere now. I have healed completely.
@@Zmaraikaka Actually I have healed so much I wont allow someone who broke me into pieces back into my life. He broke my soul. I deserve to give someone else a chance to love me. I dont want to give him the chance to get me so hurt again. I survived, no need to go back.
@@grimmlock25 Yes. I was stupefied to see his name on my phone. I was literally ill for a week when it happened cuz I couldnt believe we were talking again. It will happen, just do everything Coach Lee says.
Saw my ex yesterday at work after a good 6 months of NC. I work the afternoon shift where she was doing overtime from the morning shift. I just gave a smile and a little nod and went about my business. She didn't reciprocate, but she had the look on her face like she saw a ghost. I felt good knowing that my love for her was real and hers was all fictional. There is no animosity towards her though. I don't want to be friends or enemies.
One thing I appreciate about coach Lee’s style is that his whole focus isn’t on changing who you are in NC. Other online relationship coaches make it seem like you have to buy a car or new home, get a new job and/or change your personality. Just because someone left you doesn’t mean you are lacking or that the problems solely resides with you. Of course we can always learn, expand and improve so NC is a great opportunity but just as important we have to accept and love ourselves.
@@sloanmagnum5009 but if you read my comment I said his “sole focus” isn’t on that. I never said he didn’t. It’s part of No Contact. By sole focus it means focusing on that above all other aspects. Couch Lee assumes you were a good person and if you aren’t you’re working on improving yourself in the areas that require it during no contact and just in general.
what i get out of coach lee is you are who you are. take the time to come back to who you are/were. self reflect on what you would do differently to remain who you are/were and through self critique, modify your behavior to make yourself whole.
@@DanHoller-eb6xt agreed. I think it’s a kind approach. Just because you have relationship difficulties doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or lacking; relationships end (or loss of attraction) for many reasons. And he always says if you did something really bad you address it. And in the worst cases get help if you crossed certain lines. We can always work on self improvement. But the want should come from a sincere need that comes from inside. It’s hard to sustain something if you don’t believe in it.
the problem i had is that my soon to be ex is a severe avoidant. the gaslighting, projection, deflection, stonewalling, etc, etc, etc. was so confusing i really didn’t know how to respond or handle it. i’ve never been treated by someone that i cared for so much. i’m not the type to smother or treat badly but it didn’t seem to matter to her. she turned into an ungrateful POS. after 31 years, i’ll be emancipated.
My ex of 2 years broke up with me recently due to her loss of “connection and feelings”. Going strong with 5 weeks of NC. I don’t have the urge to reach out to her and i’m doing great without her. Sometimes it takes the loss/absence of someone to realise you were better off without them.
I have to admit that I was the one who was left by the ex and because of that I cried for a long time and begged her to talk and try to solve the problem that I created. She didn't even want to hear. It's been maybe 5 days since I started using the NC rule and she started passing by my house. Since then it has passed 4-5 times, I'm not sure. I don't know if it's a coincidence or if she has some ulterior motives, but I'm definitely not going to break the NC rule until she hears back. I am getting much stronger and I hope that I will be even stronger and that in the end she will understand what she lost. I loved her more than anything in the world, but even though I was to blame for everything, I don't think I deserved such behavior from her. Thanks Coach Lee for all the strength I got from watching your videos.
I have known her since childhood because we live in the same street. I never thought of her as someone I would fall madly in love with. She was married and has a daughter from that marriage. She divorced and came out of that marriage very hurt emotionally. After 4 years since her divorce, the story between the two of us started completely by accident. Everything was like a beautiful fairy tale until the moment we were supposed to physically connect. I wasn't mentally ready for that because I was afraid of hurting her emotionally and I didn't want her to feel taken advantage of. Because of this, she pulled out of the relationship and left me in tears. I cried for months because of her. But now I am much, much better and I hope and pray to God that she will call at some point.
My ex messaged me yesterday after being extremely cold to me and not wanting to offer any type of closure. She said “This isn’t easy for me. I want you to know that.” I just laughed and put my phone down. Their words are meaningless. Their action to leave you said everything you need to know, and once you accept that, that is all the closure you need.
Half of no contact is being strong enough to stick it out and wait while they are being cold and harsh; The other half is being strong enough to be understanding, forgiving, and not to become cold and harsh.
Superb coach, seriously! I am in no contact and I watch your videos every day to remain focused. I am pretty certain I do not want to get back with my ex. But no contact is helping me to MOVE ON much quicker than if I continued. And I l still live in the marital home with her whilst we sort out settlement, I simply choose not to speak or communicate with her in any way.
I really like what your saying. There's to much not staying together these days. I just started the no contact yesterday after 2 weeks of trying, she walked, not me , but she has issues and is in counseling, sure I've had my issues as well but a vast majority has been her, I can back that up with facts and proof, but that's not the point here. I started no contact then found you the next morn, so I'm staying tuned in to see if what I'm doing right and it seems so but time will tell
I've watched this video like 5 times already. 2 weeks since NC, it's hard, 10 years relationship. Things are extremely complicated and don't understand many things. She has been influenced by her mother to break up with me. Of course, I admit she had her doubts, but nothing we couldn't talk and work out. I remain hopeful she may reach out, but this is indeed a painful process.
@@rxsx123 From her, not really. Haven't heard much, haven't reached out. From my end, I don't feel that level of anxiety and fear that I was feeling back there. I am currently working on my self and achieving things I never thought I would, feels great. A huge part of me would like to have a chance to fix things with her, a small part is doubting the future with her. Time will tell.
@@Erguevo33 good luck man, keep working on yourself, i hope everything goes your way. And if it does, remember this comment and just send me a response bc i could use it rn.
@@rxsx123 Will do my best to keep in mind. I'd suggest to watch Coach Craig Kenneth too if you haven't, him and his team pretty much say what Coach Ken and Coach Lee but with a slightly different perspective and insights. It hurts man, I won't provide any specifics of my situation, but to this day I am still unsure and confused on why it happened this way. I am not as upset as I am confused and hurt regarding the breakup, it is how it happened that pains me the most. But I do see the light at the end of the tunnel. The only way is to work on yourself. If you find yourself right now getting motivation on self growth through the hopes of your ex contacting you back and possibly getting back together, its fine. As long as you start and don't get stuck within your own misery and sadness because of the breakup. Keep moving, time will heal your wounds and eventually you will move on, and by moving on I am not saying necessarily you will move on from your ex or the feeling of wanting another shot with your ex, but to move on from your despair, from your pain, from that feeling of wanting to die. Appreciate your words of encouragement, I hope mine help you.
This very very rarely works on women. The only way it might work is if the breakup was due to some sort of fight or argument because she will still probably have feelings for you. If she dumped you because she "lost feelings" then it's completely over, no chance she's coming back.
@@TurboFist0 what's your statistic for what you're saying? Any cogent experiences by which you eked out this summation? Or is this just an overpowering opinion in your own mind ?
The thing i keep coming to is, after they coldly discard you and then you find out they were cheating or just had someone in the orbit they thought was better, why would anyone want them back. Yea i miss what i had but leaving for someone else is all basically in the cheat category. It's like being discarded and then having dirt kicked on you too
You want them to come back so that you can reject them, it's all about power and ego. I badly want my ex to reach out so I can reject her after the way she discarded me also, I'd never take her back but it would heavily restore my damaged ego and feel like I've come full circle.
My ex broke things off with me a few weeks ago after a 2.5 year relationship. She brought me my remaining things last week and we talked in front of my apartment and made out like teenagers and had a passionate quickie. Days later she expressed that the moment was special and that her daughters and best friend suggested she give me another chance. Our breakup was due to trivial matters that became too much. Even though our vibe amicable and peaceful, she's an avoidant and i feel like the only way I'll get her back is too leave her alone. I'm now in NC again until she reaches out with something meaningful, if and when that time comes.
14:25 to 15:00 I did all of these and much more. Then I entered NC. Idk if I really want her back now. Been 4 months NC already. I'm still sad tho. Still doesn't find nobody else attractive. I still miss her.
Coach Lee, you're awesome! Been following you since Dec of 2021.. You've been my rock! Been 2 and a half years now in no contact. I must say that my emotional pain is long gone. Not a peep from my ex gf. I will remain in no contact forever. Thank You!!! I highly recommend you and your services to others going through breakups. God Bless You!!
Most rational, sensible, calculative, empathetic and accurate dating coach i have ever come across. With the knowledge and expertise you have in your field, you could easily teach manipulative or deceptive tactics to your clients to get back thier ex but still you have the ability to empathize with both your client and their ex's situation. What a balance coach lee! .. Although i dont want any ex back i came here to get knowledge from you. You are mind blowing!
I'm done with no contact, and don't want to wait for someone who doesn't want me. But even then, I fear I may not be able to stop myself if he ever contacts me again
From the"OMG-I never will see him again"attitude😔😢to the"God is my witness he never will see me again" And that's can be the basic a new,and heathy relationship 👍🙂
Thank you coach leee. Your videos helped me to come out from trauma. Your guidance helped me a lot I got breakup last month. I’m in no contact and also i don’t want my ex back anymore. Thank you soooo muchhhh ❤❤❤
I fxk’d up being widowed from 40yr loving relationship to dating I’m fit in nice car own house didn’t know my value and her disrespects got deeper until I walked abruptly, no contact and no scene 8mth ago 4mth relationship, wow strength 🤛🏿
I beginning to lose hope my ex will come back, hard to believe after 5 1/2yrs together and being engaged for 6 months for her to suddenly end things at end of January and say doesn’t see a future. I’m not perfect but loved her so much, yes we had some stupid arguments at times and could have dealt with things better but nothing was what you could consider serious. She’s said when speaking after never getting back together again but I hoped she was just saying that, unfortunately seems she meant it but she is a person who makes a decision and then sticks to it. I’ve had odd text now and then that she could have asked someone else during March/April but no messages since start of May so why I’m losing hope. I am working on myself I just wished we could sort things out and rebuild.
Look, i’m 3 days in into this break up and this person was my world right now i feel stuck and like the world has been pulled out from under me, i feel anxious and scared. I want to work on my self and do something I always struggled with which is giving her the space she needs. I found coach Lee and heard about no contact and I’m scared but I want to follow through with it. I have just started therapy and am ready to help my self and show her that. I have to stay strong I want this!
We’re about the same time in. How’s it going? I started therapy straight after the breakup too as I felt I couldn’t cope. All I’ve done so far in my weekly sessions is cry. I hope this week can be different
Excellent advice. Didn't work for me this time as far as getting back together, but it was still successful. I'm actually GLAD he didn't come back. I had time to think and realized this dude was a giant POS. I deserve better.
Although it was a difficult choice, I had to block my ex. We have a child together, but he doesn’t really want to be in her life. We used to live in the same country, but now he lives in another. We had broken up previously, I followed coach Lee’s advice and it worked. Then I got pregnant and he hated me. He had dated someone else while we were apart. We broke up again and he found someone in another foreign country. He came back just to tell me that he found someone new, but then still was with me. He said he needed more time to decide. I’m sick of the back and forth. After four years he still doesn’t know, and he still treats me like a second option, so I’m done. Although I love him, I don’t want this sort of relationship. I deserve better. Good luck everyone.
2 days post break up. not too sure who broke up with whom. Im hurthing but these videos is keeping still and try to figure things out myself-whether the relationship is worth to pursue at the same time-i wished he would contact me soon....but yes these videos is helping me
I have completely lost hope. 5 1/2 yrs together. He completely lost interest and disappeared. We both went into immediate NC for 2 yrs. I ran into him a month ago and he gave me a quick update on his daughter. Then nothing. If he wanted to come back that would have been the perfect opportunity. I give up.
I’m not telling this story to take away from Lee’s videos which are very helpful. I have had two break ups in the past 3 years. Went into no contact for both. No contact is the only way to go but I still haven’t received any sign of life from either of my ex’s. I hate to bring bad news but women do not come back. Men may come back but women don’t. Women can easily get validation from so many places that they don’t need to come back. It’s best you forget you ever knew that woman & give up on them ever coming back.
Hard pill to swallow, but it’s so fkin true. My ex, while in a relationship used to talk about how her ex cheated on her. She always used to bring up the subject. He used to contact her every now and then to apologise she used to entertain him. She did that with him for 2 years but she never got back with her
Been 3 and a half months. I went straight into no contact. She didn't even really break up with me she just never replied to my last message so yeah it's pretty hopeless at this point I feel
She ghosted you man and she's a coward. My ex did the same. Stop waiting around on her, she's not thinking of you. She has a new man by now and you need to use that as fuel to move on
Hey coach, After 13 days no contact my ex reached out on her birthday to say how sad she is because I didn’t get in touch and hoping I will change my mind about being friends. I told her I love her but no interest in being friends, she say don’t cut my nose to spite my face and the best relationship comes from great friendships. She won’t budge from that so I say no and best wishes. Then I get long message about how she miss my company and beg me not to delete her number but still just friends! I say talk later if you want. She say nothing else to say! 🤯
Thanks coach for this video ❤ i dont know it can relate to my situation or not but it calming.. been separated for 7 months, and he’s already with other people right after the breakup (even before) and dont know why there is still little hope in me that we goin to get back togaether.. feel stupid to feel that feeling.. well at least i knew i never done him wrong..
Uff it hurts, waking up the first things that comes is hurt, dreams, hazy mental state, plus im living alone so no contact is really really hard, the uncertainty is just mind bending, hope i get over this asap.
MY EX AND I BROKE UP. . I LEARNED AND FOLLOWED THE NO CONTACT. IT WAS HARDDDDD!!!! BUT I KEPT LISTENING TO COACH LEES VIDEOS AND IT REALLY DID SAVE ME ACTING CRAZY LOL. HE TEXTED AND CAME BACK A WEEK LATER AND IT WORKED OUT ALTHO AT THE MOMENT WE ON ANOTHER BREAK AND I AM DOING NO CONTACT AGAIN ALTHO THIS TIME I KNOW I NEED TO WORK ON MYSELF MORE CUZ I AM NOT SURE IF I REALLY WOULD TAKE HIM BACK HE IS NARCISISTIC :(
I got broken up with yesterday after he told me that he wanted to work things out. I have a lot of trauma in my past and I got too drunk and acted like a total ass. I told him I’m not drinking anymore and I mean it. I didn’t even drink after he broke up with me. This was a kick in the pants.
This applied to me, NC for 2 months and just find out hes on dating app. Its too shallow, my value is more important than this uncommitted individuals.Working better for myself is the priority.❤
@@holagirlthem being on a dating app shows they’re insecure and their need for validation, it doesn’t mean anything at the end of the day but just know they’ll regret it lol
@@fredo4197 Sure it will. Just wanted to see how he value the relationship while ( I guess) I could have another options if wanted, time will tell but I prefer to mourn and grieve the loss at the moment for a healthier future relationship.
My ex hopped on a dating app the same week she dumped me, I only got on to distract myself from her and it actually surprised me seeing her pop up as she convinced me she was always the type to grief her old relationships before getting into a new one. 9 times out of 10 they're just looking for validation and attention from others, don't take it too serious. Dating apps are filled with trashy people who will waste your time, your ex will realize you're not easy to replace just like mine will.
It's been 3 days now and im struggling with thoughts words he said memory i forgave him about cheating but he still kinda left me in the excuse of saying im a cheater and u will always bring it to my face in every arguments i know ppl will say move on and all that but i really loved him my heart is shattered his last word was give it time .
At this point, she's not going to come back. Nor do I want her to. After trying no contact and pleading for her to return. I know we're done and I've come to a place where I'm feeling happy without her! I've watched your videos throughout the process and would like to thank you so much for all the help! You've helped me overcome such a difficult loss in my life! And given me the courage to move forward without them! Please keep uploading as it helps so much!
Thanks to my ex he is giving me so much time to self reflect ❤ if not he i am sure i will be a good partner in my future , I learn alot during this breakup period and finally i giving grace to myself , thank you coach lee.
It works. It shows maturity and growth. If you can wait. It is difficult. For me it was 31 days. It 💯 works. Either way you are stronger. And better equipped. 8 months strong together. He came back after 31 days. It is hard but it works. Don’t bail them out. They come back if your relationship has a strong core.
My ex abruptly left me after sharing his deep past traumas. Just days before, he was full of mixed emotions, even planning a getaway for us, but then he suddenly broke things off. I feel completely blindsided and hurt. He was always kind and caring, really attentive and loving, which makes this even more confusing. I’m angry and unsure about everything now. We’re on day 4 of no contact, and part of me wants him back, but I’m struggling with the pain he left me with.
I had the same thing and discovered he’s a severe Dismissive Avoidant. It’s been almost 6 weeks since he blocked me. I made the mistake of reaching out several times. I’m now Day 6 of NC!!!! I completely understand ur pain…….I’m heartbroken 💔
Hey Coach! Can you make a video on mixed signals after the breakup? How to handle when they call and text shortly after breakup. To answer or not to answer. That is the question!
I was dumped after a year two weeks ago and blocked everywhere. I begged and chased. It came after a month and half of his space and stonewalling. We were planning on me moving to him in the States in September… I saw today he’s back in bumble, changed his profile pic and it pinned at his place 😔I’m Devastated
She told me " I don't want to be together in this point of time, but I'm not completely done". I don't need anyone, I can be alone. Her and I been together for 6+ years and have a 3yr old together. Now she only wants contact if it involves only the baby. She has been living in her best friends basement for 2months now. I have been begging and crying over her. And she tells me to stop. And now she doesn't respond to anything other than about the baby. I try to no contact, works for about a week then I pour my heart back out to her. And still get no response. I am in this miserable cycle in my mind that in hopes she will come back. And starting to understand she's not coming back, but still hold on to all the pictures and memories of her, I don't have a single bad memory of her. I feel in order to get over her I have to hate her, but I can't. I don't k kw what to do. The texts I have sent her pouring my heart out. If roles were swaped, and she sent them to me, I'd have come back immediately.
I feel so stupid. After an 8 week trial period where I tried winning back my wife's heart, she told me she no longer loved me in the same way and asked me to leave. This was just a week ago so I'd decided I'd go strategic no contact with us having kids. She contacted me a little more the last three days since doing so, being overly nice, maybe sensing I'd got stronger. I wanted her to feel the reality of the situation and realise she's lost me and I won't just be there as a friend when needed. Well tonight I got a little more talkative than usual, the convo went on a bit then suddenly she ends the conversation short and bluntly, it makes me feel a right tit and I regret having even bothered. It's like it's allowed her to go straight back into the relief stage once again. I need to be strong and keep this about the kids in future.
12th day of no contact after 3 weeks of pleading and telling him I’d fight (I was the original dumper, due to personal circumstances) he said he would never be able to be the same in the relationship with me. I’m trying to remain strong as it’s only the beginning but in my head he’s just learning to live without me? We had such a wonderful relationship.
I am almost 2 months of NC with severe fearful avoidant! I love him but I don’t want him back! I can’t let myself be in the situation anymore. He wasted 18 years of my time! If he is back! I’m paying him back for good! He’s seeing a therapist for 9-10 months now!
One thing you should know is that, exes always come back, the problem is if you’re ready. In my case, my ex came back after 5wks of NO contact but didn’t want him anymore.
Hi Coach! I really appreciate all your videos they have helped me tremendously. I know you've went over this before but could you talk about long distance relationships more in depth and how to reconnect if that's the situation?
1 year 10 months, she had a boyfriend rebund for 10 months, i found her in a bar with her boyfriend, we talked a little, and she said she was resented with me, after that she posted a pictures on social media for first time and i lost all hope! It's been a waste of time and energy wondering if she would come back, and she never did, so it's not good to have hope for more than 1 year
I hit 1 year since the breakup, to this day, my ex still basically smear campaigns me. To her I've become someone she can point and laugh at, all while she continues her self destructive tendencies and complains that no one loves her. How could anyone? I gave that asshole damn near everything I had and it still wasn't "the bare minimum" according to her. Guys crazy news: if you take a woman to a NHL game, a Macklemore and Imagine Dragons concert, Stephen King's house, buys your broke ass everything, feeds you, listens to you, fucking lives with you all while giving you the freedom you want because you don't have a car or even a license, that's no longer the bare minimum, ya gotta step it up. But Jay, that's not NC. This girl has a tendency to have dogshit timing, I've turned my breakup into monitoring from a distance, as the girl I ended up falling in love with after is someone she actually asked if I was cheating on her with when we were together and she stalks her socials too. So weird predicament here, I don't want my ex back but I don't want her to spout the dumb lies to her if we get together. Obviously I trust that I'm a high quality person and could easily disprove whatever claims there may be and why would you listen to an ex, but my gut tells me not to trust this person to not interfere with my new life.
Yeah, I did the opposite lol I tried the no contact but I only did. I feel like she was slipping away and forgetting about me. I know she was because she started seeing someone else because she wanted to know if she could fill those same things with someone else that she felt for me. Short, I blew up on her last night and had a freaking meltdown and crying and telling me a whole bunch of stuff she’s never told me before and now we have a date tomorrow night at her apartment with some wine, a puzzle and just a conversation! I’m beyond excited! I can’t wait
This worked for me. However, when he came back, I didn't want him. I like to stop by here, give a like, and say something supportive to those struggling. DO NOT GIVE UP! No contact gets them back. It will get you back. As soon as you acknowledge how bad they hurt you and, you're not willing to let them hurt you again. You may not be there yet. Just meet yourself where you're at today. Are you sad (that's normal)? If you're anxious (normal, too). Try to accept that’s where you're at in this process. Please stop judging yourself endlessly for what you're feeling. YOU ARE WORTHY! You'll get through this; stay strong. You are a beautiful person, and you deserve so much more than you allow in your life.
Today is my day. Today is the day I know I don’t want him back. What a painful journey
God bless you brother this made me feel better:)
Thank you:)
Amen 🙏
Thank you!
This worked for me! But it was a long process. I took Coach Lee’s advice and he came back after I went no contact for 4.5-5 mos. When he came back I took things very slowly. After 3 mos of seeing each other intentionally, I brought up the convo and we are now official. I couldn’t be happier
What did you do during the no contact period? Did you expect him to come or was it by surprise?
Glad things worked out for you! It gives me hope for my situation ❤️
Thank you for sharing.
Congrats! I thought I was alone and waiting 3 and 1/2 months. Everybody seems to say that after 90 days it's pretty much hopeless. Today's a really really difficult day for me. I just want to be able to hear her and talk to her again but at the same time I hate her for hurting me. There are days when I really really really really struggle like today and then after hearing all these negative things about how this long out it's hopeless it really helps to see that somebody else's having success even months after I've been waiting but she's a girl so I don't know if that makes a difference. I didn't even do anything wrong. She even said that she wasn't good for me and that she was sorry really really sorry and I told her we weren't going to break up and I wasn't going to give up on her but she just stopped responding
Just want to share a story from someone I know. Her ex broke up with her after a 9 years relationship, he reached out and wanted to get back after 14 months, but she already moved on and started dating someone else. This story keeps myself motivated as well. Hope that it also give some of you comfort.
I find that it's important to "show" them that you respect their decision to break up, and leave them be for a time, long enough to register the respect.....
This advice saved my marriage. I was separated from my husband for a year and a half with daily contact. Begged and cried and made a complete mess of myself in front of him. Found out about the no contact rule. He came back four months later and we worked it out. Been back together and going strong for nearly four years now.
@Taran532 wow, thank you for sharing. My husband and I have been seperated since 12/2023. We were talking daily .I cried and begged. Decided to start NC started 5/27/24. I'm trying this as a last effort before I walk. I am already beginning to feel.indifferent, the love is still there but not going to stay married like this much longer. It's my fault because we have been talking daily but he will He call and call, text and text, and get mad if I don't answer. He wants to know what I am doing about my day...had to set boundaries with NC
@@Notwithoutmyheels be polite but let him know you are honoring the breakup (his decision) and that you are husband and wife or you are nothing. There can be no in between.
He seeing someone else when you were separated?
@@dirkdiggler2695 yes he was.
I have contacted daily myself, I worried...I have some hope again. I will drop the contact, even the daily check in
The feelings of fear and anxiety and compulsion to chase are all so REAL it convinces you they're trustworthy - they aren't. Great vid buddy!
My man🤙🤙
I need your help my ex is ADHD AND avoidance 🥺
@@bouhaddikarim4810that’s interesting. I have ADHD, and I guess as the dumpee, the impulsiveness has made NC so difficult. I feel like I have to talk to them. But now I’m committed to NC for my own sake. I have to. Ex coming back or not.
This guy is the best on RUclips
Very articulate and easy listening. He's like a Angel of hope..
Thank you bro
Coach Ken is great as well!!
Thank you for such kind words! I'm honored.
I AGREE HE IS THE BEST. HE IS SAVING ME.
Been in no contact for 3 months now, and I'm starting to find solace with myself. While in no contact, my 3 other ex's have all expressed their interest in getting back with me in some way or another. They always come back, even if it's years down the line you are never forgotten. Work on yourself and accept whatever the universe brings to your life, just exist and let what needs to happen just happen.
Any update?
@@Fuzzydragon-ng7qt 5 to 6 months into NC, still nothing from my ex. I've started seeing someone else that treats me better, but I still think about my ex frequently. I've reached a point where I'm not concerned about her coming back, but still have faith she'll reach out in time. What I've learned? Everyone wants what they can't have. Consider the psychology of attachment styles, and if your ex is avoidant it'll be up to you to end NC if you want a short term resolution, but I personally am expecting a longer period of "what ever happened to this person" always floating in my mind.
@@Fuzzydragon-ng7qtcould've sworn I responded to this earlier, so sorry if this is a double reply. TLDR I'm 5 and half months into no contact, nothing from my ex, but I'm seeing somebody who treats me better. Holding faith I'll hear from my ex like all the rest, but I'm finally at a point where I don't mind either way.
@@SkullObsessed69 I’m glad…I’m almost 2 months to no contact and I’m still hyperfixated on her (really bad adhd). But I have been working on myself a lot, lost 50lbs, gained a lot of muscle, maybe a new amazing job soon…
@@Fuzzydragon-ng7qt don't just stop there brother. I used the breakup motivation to LITERALLY become 5x the man, maybe even more, but I'm at a point where now that it's all paying off I'm losing that hypermotivation. Keep yourself moving and keep the faith that it all works out based on how hard you work yourself 💪
This worked for me! I swear I didn’t think it was going to work! It’s been 13 days since no contact and aggressively focused on my own life and betterment and guess who contact me on this day? My ex. Who made it clear when we broke up that it would take a miracle for us to get back together. I was so hurt. And I believed his words of finality. But now he is wanting us to be together and would you believe if I said that now, I’m good. I think I’m going to continue enjoy being alone. So the breakup was absolutely a blessing
Just a few days from hitting a year of NC. These videos have helped me tremendously over that time, though mostly at the start and less now that I’m over it all. NC started as a way to bring her back but turned to keeping it to better myself. I’ve come out of the fog and see her as the person she is not as who I thought she could’ve been.
Proud of myself to make it this far and am so much healthier mentally and physically. It gets easier everyone! Pick up a positive hobby. Mine has been going to the gym religiously. I’m a different person than I was a year ago but all for the better. To anyone out there struggling, just keep with it and distract yourself on those bad days.
It’s difficult for passive aggressive men who is avoidant and OCPD.
You saw her potential and now you see her.
I begged for more than a month, until he already blocked me. It helps when he finally blocked me. I just realized now that I lost myself for begging and pleading 🥺. I'm healing now with my own emotional attachment and learning from it. Thanks to my ex for making me realize to love myself more than giving all of me to a relationship.
I just want to say Coach Lee, Coach Ken and coach Rex are relationship savers! I did no contact for 6 months, put so much work into myself and then he came back. It was a lot of tough work and conversations, but we have never been better! Keep the faith and no matter it will work out how it's supposed to
You're still better than him
Coach lee I swear you’re the only thing I still have hope in this relationship
My ex bf reached out after 30 days No Contact. However, I am used to having on my own. His presence and communication no longer excite me. He was able to withstand 30 days NC with me, I have chosen to move on and choose my peace. Thank you Coach Lee!
I’m on day 31, Got at “typing” notification on snapchat, And she’s watching my stories. But nothing real is happening
Talk with him u will regret it after when he doesnt text u anymore lol stop the ego
Bruh what...how can anyone move on in just 30 days...if you really do then you'll weren't in a serious relationship
@@ArjanTV Hello! It's not about boosting my ego. It's just that the relationship isn't going anywhere. I talked with him when he reached out, never ignored him when he reached out. My feelings are sincere and genuine and I really wanna build a future with him. But I feel like he doesn't need me in his life. I prefer to move on than to be an option and placeholder for him. I would rather be on my own than be with someone who makes me feel so alone.
@mohamedabdelhai2890 I really wonder how men undergo during No Contact. Is the intense of pain same as women's?
I hope NC worked for you.
Lee’s videos helped me a lot 3 years ago when I was in a downward spiral of stress, anxiety and anger. Since day 1 I initiated no contact and I guess I’m in the 1% that never looked back and never heard or saw her again.
Imho, NC allowed me to learned a lot of things about me and her. It was extremely difficult but totally worth it.
Don’t expect they will come back and if they do it may take years or even better…they won’t.
Stay strong!!!
Today is the day I don’t want him back anymore. It took 4 months of hell but I know it’s going to be ok.
Same. Every 2.5 hours.
I have watched a lots of these videos 4 years ago; so I thought lets watch one for the nostalgy.
These videos helped me a lot when I was heartbroken, it also made me stronger and has given me a lots of insights in relationships.
In my case I was waiting and hoping for a year and a few months,but after that I closed the door behind me and moved on.
I became a better version of myself and enjoyed life again.
After 3 years she came back (and how) but it is way to late , maybe there was a change but she doesn't have the patience. I just keep my balance and stay in my zone. And if she goes away.. so be it!
What I want to say to al the heartbroken souls.. Stay strong and keep on working at yourself (I know its not easy but just keep trying)
Even in the beginning the 'no cantact rule' was the last thing I wanted to hear but as I see it now.. It's so powerfull!
I hope for all of you to have your love back!
And if not... stand your ground! At the far horizon there is a sun waiting with new and great life-experiences..
Thank you for coming back and sharing this. I'm honored to be of some help to you.
Dear Coach Lee, you helped my in the darkest period of my life when not only break up happened but also few other traumatic events at the same time. It kept me going although 2 years went by and she never looked back Im glad I sticked to NC because at least I saved my dignity. Thank you. You are a life saver sir.
Broke up 5 months ago. Talked the first month and stopped hearing from her after that. I only called twice to no avail, left it at that. Texted her after friend brought me my clothes i had left at her house. Still nothing. Was doing fine and forgetting, but i had a breaking point and felt she had moved on. Reached out asking to talk and she actually responded asking why. Opened up, just saying i miss her. Cold response: i have nothing else to offer you. I just replied with "okay" and thats been it. Couple weeks later it is confirmed she has a new partner. Im not sure how long they have been together, but that would just be unthinkable for me. I love her so much and i truly believe our love was special. I have options, but its just too soon. I dont want a relationship, i just want her. These videos have helped so much. I am never reaching out again.
Even if she breaks up with him, you should not want her betraying self!!
He came back after three years. Thanks coach Lee for making some strong and being my peace and solace on those worst days. Eventually he came back. So don’t give up hope. But I no longer want him back so I blocked him. It feels amazing to be the one who blocked him everywhere now. I have healed completely.
Wow. 3 years. So there’s still hope for me. Happy to hear you’ve healed. 🙏🏼💪🏼
If you had healed you wudnt block him...
@@Zmaraikaka Actually I have healed so much I wont allow someone who broke me into pieces back into my life. He broke my soul. I deserve to give someone else a chance to love me. I dont want to give him the chance to get me so hurt again. I survived, no need to go back.
@@grimmlock25 Yes. I was stupefied to see his name on my phone. I was literally ill for a week when it happened cuz I couldnt believe we were talking again. It will happen, just do everything Coach Lee says.
So you waited 3 years ? 😅
@coachlee just wanted to let you know you deserve a snickers
Saw my ex yesterday at work after a good 6 months of NC. I work the afternoon shift where she was doing overtime from the morning shift. I just gave a smile and a little nod and went about my business. She didn't reciprocate, but she had the look on her face like she saw a ghost.
I felt good knowing that my love for her was real and hers was all fictional. There is no animosity towards her though. I don't want to be friends or enemies.
One thing I appreciate about coach Lee’s style is that his whole focus isn’t on changing who you are in NC. Other online relationship coaches make it seem like you have to buy a car or new home, get a new job and/or change your personality.
Just because someone left you doesn’t mean you are lacking or that the problems solely resides with you.
Of course we can always learn, expand and improve so NC is a great opportunity but just as important we have to accept and love ourselves.
He does encourage people to improve them selves and their circumstances tho. They could include those things you mention.
@@sloanmagnum5009 but if you read my comment I said his “sole focus” isn’t on that. I never said he didn’t. It’s part of No Contact.
By sole focus it means focusing on that above all other aspects. Couch Lee assumes you were a good person and if you aren’t you’re working on improving yourself in the areas that require it during no contact and just in general.
what i get out of coach lee is you are who you are. take the time to come back to who you are/were.
self reflect on what you would do differently to remain who you are/were and through self critique,
modify your behavior to make yourself whole.
@@DanHoller-eb6xt agreed. I think it’s a kind approach. Just because you have relationship difficulties doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or lacking; relationships end (or loss of attraction) for many reasons. And he always says if you did something really bad you address it. And in the worst cases get help if you crossed certain lines.
We can always work on self improvement. But the want should come from a sincere need that comes from inside. It’s hard to sustain something if you don’t believe in it.
the problem i had is that my soon to be ex is a severe avoidant. the gaslighting, projection, deflection, stonewalling, etc, etc, etc. was so confusing i really didn’t know how to respond or handle it. i’ve never been treated by someone that i cared for so much. i’m not the type to smother or treat badly but
it didn’t seem to matter to her.
she turned into an ungrateful POS.
after 31 years, i’ll be emancipated.
My ex of 2 years broke up with me recently due to her loss of “connection and feelings”.
Going strong with 5 weeks of NC. I don’t have the urge to reach out to her and i’m doing great without her. Sometimes it takes the loss/absence of someone to realise you were better off without them.
Same goes here😢
I have to admit that I was the one who was left by the ex and because of that I cried for a long time and begged her to talk and try to solve the problem that I created. She didn't even want to hear. It's been maybe 5 days since I started using the NC rule and she started passing by my house. Since then it has passed 4-5 times, I'm not sure. I don't know if it's a coincidence or if she has some ulterior motives, but I'm definitely not going to break the NC rule until she hears back. I am getting much stronger and I hope that I will be even stronger and that in the end she will understand what she lost. I loved her more than anything in the world, but even though I was to blame for everything, I don't think I deserved such behavior from her. Thanks Coach Lee for all the strength I got from watching your videos.
I have known her since childhood because we live in the same street. I never thought of her as someone I would fall madly in love with. She was married and has a daughter from that marriage. She divorced and came out of that marriage very hurt emotionally. After 4 years since her divorce, the story between the two of us started completely by accident. Everything was like a beautiful fairy tale until the moment we were supposed to physically connect. I wasn't mentally ready for that because I was afraid of hurting her emotionally and I didn't want her to feel taken advantage of. Because of this, she pulled out of the relationship and left me in tears. I cried for months because of her. But now I am much, much better and I hope and pray to God that she will call at some point.
My ex messaged me yesterday after being extremely cold to me and not wanting to offer any type of closure. She said “This isn’t easy for me. I want you to know that.” I just laughed and put my phone down. Their words are meaningless. Their action to leave you said everything you need to know, and once you accept that, that is all the closure you need.
Half of no contact is being strong enough to stick it out and wait while they are being cold and harsh; The other half is being strong enough to be understanding, forgiving, and not to become cold and harsh.
The opening statement was actually a very good way to look at things. I’ll never lose hope ❤
Superb coach, seriously! I am in no contact and I watch your videos every day to remain focused. I am pretty certain I do not want to get back with my ex. But no contact is helping me to MOVE ON much quicker than if I continued. And I l still live in the marital home with her whilst we sort out settlement, I simply choose not to speak or communicate with her in any way.
I really like what your saying. There's to much not staying together these days. I just started the no contact yesterday after 2 weeks of trying, she walked, not me , but she has issues and is in counseling, sure I've had my issues as well but a vast majority has been her, I can back that up with facts and proof, but that's not the point here. I started no contact then found you the next morn, so I'm staying tuned in to see if what I'm doing right and it seems so but time will tell
I've watched this video like 5 times already. 2 weeks since NC, it's hard, 10 years relationship. Things are extremely complicated and don't understand many things. She has been influenced by her mother to break up with me. Of course, I admit she had her doubts, but nothing we couldn't talk and work out. I remain hopeful she may reach out, but this is indeed a painful process.
@Erguevo33 any update?
@@rxsx123 From her, not really. Haven't heard much, haven't reached out. From my end, I don't feel that level of anxiety and fear that I was feeling back there. I am currently working on my self and achieving things I never thought I would, feels great. A huge part of me would like to have a chance to fix things with her, a small part is doubting the future with her. Time will tell.
@@Erguevo33 good luck man, keep working on yourself, i hope everything goes your way. And if it does, remember this comment and just send me a response bc i could use it rn.
@@rxsx123 Will do my best to keep in mind. I'd suggest to watch Coach Craig Kenneth too if you haven't, him and his team pretty much say what Coach Ken and Coach Lee but with a slightly different perspective and insights.
It hurts man, I won't provide any specifics of my situation, but to this day I am still unsure and confused on why it happened this way. I am not as upset as I am confused and hurt regarding the breakup, it is how it happened that pains me the most.
But I do see the light at the end of the tunnel. The only way is to work on yourself.
If you find yourself right now getting motivation on self growth through the hopes of your ex contacting you back and possibly getting back together, its fine. As long as you start and don't get stuck within your own misery and sadness because of the breakup. Keep moving, time will heal your wounds and eventually you will move on, and by moving on I am not saying necessarily you will move on from your ex or the feeling of wanting another shot with your ex, but to move on from your despair, from your pain, from that feeling of wanting to die.
Appreciate your words of encouragement, I hope mine help you.
I'm in no contact for 3 months . Not a word to him at all . I also blocked him on social media . It's hard but , I'm holding my own ...
Keep going.
This very very rarely works on women. The only way it might work is if the breakup was due to some sort of fight or argument because she will still probably have feelings for you. If she dumped you because she "lost feelings" then it's completely over, no chance she's coming back.
@@TurboFist0 what's your statistic for what you're saying?
Any cogent experiences by which you eked out this summation?
Or is this just an overpowering opinion in your own mind ?
I agree
..8 years ant counting. No return. Many reasons.
The thing i keep coming to is, after they coldly discard you and then you find out they were cheating or just had someone in the orbit they thought was better, why would anyone want them back. Yea i miss what i had but leaving for someone else is all basically in the cheat category. It's like being discarded and then having dirt kicked on you too
You want them to come back so that you can reject them, it's all about power and ego. I badly want my ex to reach out so I can reject her after the way she discarded me also, I'd never take her back but it would heavily restore my damaged ego and feel like I've come full circle.
@@LeeEverett1 yes i feel that too lee.... i want info and admission of what really happened and then seem amenable to reconcile... then ghost
@@LeeEverett1if id been a bad guy in the 5 yrs i might feel different but i was loyal and good. I didnt deserve what i got. Nobody does
My ex broke things off with me a few weeks ago after a 2.5 year relationship. She brought me my remaining things last week and we talked in front of my apartment and made out like teenagers and had a passionate quickie. Days later she expressed that the moment was special and that her daughters and best friend suggested she give me another chance. Our breakup was due to trivial matters that became too much. Even though our vibe amicable and peaceful, she's an avoidant and i feel like the only way I'll get her back is too leave her alone. I'm now in NC again until she reaches out with something meaningful, if and when that time comes.
“A quicky” bahahaha😂
@@iamjason1279 Oh yes Mr Voorhees, It was amazing too 😂
@@mrkeittkeep me updated, sounds kind of like my situation…
Well? Are you still in NC?
Don't take too long,, she might think u don't love her and she may decide to move , eventually people heal
These videos have really helped me a lot in the last few days I'm starting to feel confident and indifferent
When there is BPD or any Cluster B personality disorder or mental illness involved, all bets are off. You never know what to expect.
Yes mine was HPD I think I'm better without it but still miss her
14:25 to 15:00 I did all of these and much more. Then I entered NC. Idk if I really want her back now. Been 4 months NC already. I'm still sad tho. Still doesn't find nobody else attractive. I still miss her.
Coach Lee, you're awesome! Been following you since Dec of 2021.. You've been my rock! Been 2 and a half years now in no contact. I must say that my emotional pain is long gone. Not a peep from my ex gf. I will remain in no contact forever. Thank You!!! I highly recommend you and your services to others going through breakups. God Bless You!!
Thank you Coach Lee for everything you do! You're a blessing! I'm still watching you and it's been over 2 yrs of no contact. ❤
Most rational, sensible, calculative, empathetic and accurate dating coach i have ever come across. With the knowledge and expertise you have in your field, you could easily teach manipulative or deceptive tactics to your clients to get back thier ex but still you have the ability to empathize with both your client and their ex's situation. What a balance coach lee! .. Although i dont want any ex back i came here to get knowledge from you. You are mind blowing!
Thank you for such kind words!
10 months of NC.
Still all quiet on the western front...
Luv that movie by the way lol
Same here
I'm done with no contact, and don't want to wait for someone who doesn't want me. But even then, I fear I may not be able to stop myself if he ever contacts me again
From the"OMG-I never will see him again"attitude😔😢to the"God is my witness he never will see me again"
And that's can be the basic a new,and heathy relationship 👍🙂
😲👍, yup no contact is for us.
I don’t even care about a new relationship. I’m grateful I healed from that one
Thank you coach leee.
Your videos helped me to come out from trauma. Your guidance helped me a lot
I got breakup last month.
I’m in no contact and also i don’t want my ex back anymore.
Thank you soooo muchhhh ❤❤❤
I fxk’d up being widowed from 40yr loving relationship to dating
I’m fit in nice car own house didn’t know my value and her disrespects got deeper until I walked abruptly, no contact and no scene 8mth ago 4mth relationship, wow strength 🤛🏿
I beginning to lose hope my ex will come back, hard to believe after 5 1/2yrs together and being engaged for 6 months for her to suddenly end things at end of January and say doesn’t see a future. I’m not perfect but loved her so much, yes we had some stupid arguments at times and could have dealt with things better but nothing was what you could consider serious. She’s said when speaking after never getting back together again but I hoped she was just saying that, unfortunately seems she meant it but she is a person who makes a decision and then sticks to it. I’ve had odd text now and then that she could have asked someone else during March/April but no messages since start of May so why I’m losing hope. I am working on myself I just wished we could sort things out and rebuild.
Look, i’m 3 days in into this break up and this person was my world right now i feel stuck and like the world has been pulled out from under me, i feel anxious and scared. I want to work on my self and do something I always struggled with which is giving her the space she needs. I found coach Lee and heard about no contact and I’m scared but I want to follow through with it. I have just started therapy and am ready to help my self and show her that. I have to stay strong I want this!
We’re about the same time in. How’s it going? I started therapy straight after the breakup too as I felt I couldn’t cope. All I’ve done so far in my weekly sessions is cry. I hope this week can be different
Excellent advice. Didn't work for me this time as far as getting back together, but it was still successful. I'm actually GLAD he didn't come back. I had time to think and realized this dude was a giant POS. I deserve better.
Although it was a difficult choice, I had to block my ex. We have a child together, but he doesn’t really want to be in her life. We used to live in the same country, but now he lives in another. We had broken up previously, I followed coach Lee’s advice and it worked. Then I got pregnant and he hated me. He had dated someone else while we were apart. We broke up again and he found someone in another foreign country. He came back just to tell me that he found someone new, but then still was with me. He said he needed more time to decide. I’m sick of the back and forth. After four years he still doesn’t know, and he still treats me like a second option, so I’m done. Although I love him, I don’t want this sort of relationship. I deserve better. Good luck everyone.
i watch these videos on loop everyday😢
2 days post break up. not too sure who broke up with whom. Im hurthing but these videos is keeping still and try to figure things out myself-whether the relationship is worth to pursue at the same time-i wished he would contact me soon....but yes these videos is helping me
8months ago this videos helped me sleep and today I can’t explain how much better i feel.
I have completely lost hope. 5 1/2 yrs together. He completely lost interest and disappeared. We both went into immediate NC for 2 yrs. I ran into him a month ago and he gave me a quick update on his daughter. Then nothing. If he wanted to come back that would have been the perfect opportunity. I give up.
I’m not telling this story to take away from Lee’s videos which are very helpful. I have had two break ups in the past 3 years. Went into no contact for both. No contact is the only way to go but I still haven’t received any sign of life from either of my ex’s. I hate to bring bad news but women do not come back. Men may come back but women don’t. Women can easily get validation from so many places that they don’t need to come back. It’s best you forget you ever knew that woman & give up on them ever coming back.
Hard pill to swallow, but it’s so fkin true. My ex, while in a relationship used to talk about how her ex cheated on her. She always used to bring up the subject. He used to contact her every now and then to apologise she used to entertain him. She did that with him for 2 years but she never got back with her
I believe it. Men do (they get restless and tend to break up for 'grass is greener' type of reasons) but women aren't wired like that
It’s been almost two years…he’s not coming back and at this point, don’t want him back!
Yes he will come back even though it’s been 2 yrs, They always come back no matter how long it’s been.
@@LisaGentry-lh2sl This isnt always true. Most, yes...but not everyone does.
Been 3 and a half months. I went straight into no contact. She didn't even really break up with me she just never replied to my last message so yeah it's pretty hopeless at this point I feel
She ghosted you man and she's a coward. My ex did the same. Stop waiting around on her, she's not thinking of you. She has a new man by now and you need to use that as fuel to move on
Hey coach,
After 13 days no contact my ex reached out on her birthday to say how sad she is because I didn’t get in touch and hoping I will change my mind about being friends. I told her I love her but no interest in being friends, she say don’t cut my nose to spite my face and the best relationship comes from great friendships. She won’t budge from that so I say no and best wishes. Then I get long message about how she miss my company and beg me not to delete her number but still just friends!
I say talk later if you want. She say nothing else to say! 🤯
Thanks coach for this video ❤ i dont know it can relate to my situation or not but it calming.. been separated for 7 months, and he’s already with other people right after the breakup (even before) and dont know why there is still little hope in me that we goin to get back togaether.. feel stupid to feel that feeling.. well at least i knew i never done him wrong..
Your hair looks great Coach Lee!
This coach is more knowledgeable and more professional on this career. Ty coach lee
Uff it hurts, waking up the first things that comes is hurt, dreams, hazy mental state, plus im living alone so no contact is really really hard, the uncertainty is just mind bending, hope i get over this asap.
Ty for your advice ! I treated my person of interest as the special person she is...but she treats me like yesterday's trash...SAD 😢
MY EX AND I BROKE UP. . I LEARNED AND FOLLOWED THE NO CONTACT. IT WAS HARDDDDD!!!! BUT I KEPT LISTENING TO COACH LEES VIDEOS AND IT REALLY DID SAVE ME ACTING CRAZY LOL. HE TEXTED AND CAME BACK A WEEK LATER AND IT WORKED OUT ALTHO AT THE MOMENT WE ON ANOTHER BREAK AND I AM DOING NO CONTACT AGAIN ALTHO THIS TIME I KNOW I NEED TO WORK ON MYSELF MORE CUZ I AM NOT SURE IF I REALLY WOULD TAKE HIM BACK HE IS NARCISISTIC :(
I got broken up with yesterday after he told me that he wanted to work things out. I have a lot of trauma in my past and I got too drunk and acted like a total ass. I told him I’m not drinking anymore and I mean it. I didn’t even drink after he broke up with me. This was a kick in the pants.
thank you coach lee, she called back after 3.9 years after i got into another relationship 😭❤️
This applied to me, NC for 2 months and just find out hes on dating app. Its too shallow, my value is more important than this uncommitted individuals.Working better for myself is the priority.❤
You saw him on a dating app?? What were you also doing on that dating app?
@@Omnitrix8 using a fake account that he could be there. No other reasons. Deleted the app next.
@@holagirlthem being on a dating app shows they’re insecure and their need for validation, it doesn’t mean anything at the end of the day but just know they’ll regret it lol
@@fredo4197 Sure it will. Just wanted to see how he value the relationship while ( I guess) I could have another options if wanted, time will tell but I prefer to mourn and grieve the loss at the moment for a healthier future relationship.
My ex hopped on a dating app the same week she dumped me, I only got on to distract myself from her and it actually surprised me seeing her pop up as she convinced me she was always the type to grief her old relationships before getting into a new one.
9 times out of 10 they're just looking for validation and attention from others, don't take it too serious. Dating apps are filled with trashy people who will waste your time, your ex will realize you're not easy to replace just like mine will.
Yes therapist drive the idea of 100 percent bliss.. and that relationships take wek from both parties
It's been 3 days now and im struggling with thoughts words he said memory i forgave him about cheating but he still kinda left me in the excuse of saying im a cheater and u will always bring it to my face in every arguments i know ppl will say move on and all that but i really loved him my heart is shattered his last word was give it time .
Coach Lee you are a life saver. Thank you 🙏 I know the pain. It’s because of you I’m getting better
Solid video as always, I know what to do, but i watch to keep my mind in a good place.
Your videos are what's keeping me in no contact and help me go through the tough times thanks for all of your videos
@847-"never be with someone who uses pain to manipulate u 2 get what they want"
I been doing the no contact it's been about 34 yrs now but hey who's counting right
No hope when they are already interested in/talking to other people
Just know you are giving yourself the best chance.
Been in NC for 4 months after a 7 year relationship, blindside discard. This has been so hard. Hoping this video helps.
At this point, she's not going to come back. Nor do I want her to. After trying no contact and pleading for her to return. I know we're done and I've come to a place where I'm feeling happy without her! I've watched your videos throughout the process and would like to thank you so much for all the help! You've helped me overcome such a difficult loss in my life! And given me the courage to move forward without them! Please keep uploading as it helps so much!
I know she won't come back but like everyone else says your videos are helpful
Thanks so much for your thoughtful and intelligent advice.
Coach Lee,
you are a great guy,
I appreciate your work and effort.
Many thanks,
God bless!
Thanks again coach Lee. Absolutely spot on my friend. Invaluable free advice. !!! 👏👌🏴
Thanks to my ex he is giving me so much time to self reflect ❤ if not he i am sure i will be a good partner in my future , I learn alot during this breakup period and finally i giving grace to myself , thank you coach lee.
Thanks
So grateful for you Coach Lee 🙌🏽❤️
It works. It shows maturity and growth. If you can wait. It is difficult. For me it was 31 days. It 💯 works. Either way you are stronger. And better equipped. 8 months strong together. He came back after 31 days. It is hard but it works. Don’t bail them out. They come back if your relationship has a strong core.
This is encouraging! 9 months of greatness. Out of the blue he doesn’t want a relationship but we can still hangout and talk😩 I’m NC day 6. It’s hard
I am in not no contact more than 2 weeks but he is busy with talking with multiple women will he ever come back to me. We have talked almost 6 months
Depends on how you made them feel during the time you had together. Most people don’t run away from something they experienced happiness
My ex abruptly left me after sharing his deep past traumas. Just days before, he was full of mixed emotions, even planning a getaway for us, but then he suddenly broke things off. I feel completely blindsided and hurt. He was always kind and caring, really attentive and loving, which makes this even more confusing. I’m angry and unsure about everything now. We’re on day 4 of no contact, and part of me wants him back, but I’m struggling with the pain he left me with.
I had the same thing and discovered he’s a severe Dismissive Avoidant. It’s been almost 6 weeks since he blocked me. I made the mistake of reaching out several times. I’m now Day 6 of NC!!!! I completely understand ur pain…….I’m heartbroken 💔
Hey Coach! Can you make a video on mixed signals after the breakup? How to handle when they call and text shortly after breakup. To answer or not to answer. That is the question!
It’s 2-0 to Coach Lee, My lord and saviour 🙏
Thank you for all of your incredible work coach ❤ if possible I’d really appreciate more videos about when kids are involved.
Hi Coach Lee! Can you please make an updated video on Long Distance Relationships?
I just got out of one 2 months ago
I was dumped after a year two weeks ago and blocked everywhere. I begged and chased. It came after a month and half of his space and stonewalling. We were planning on me moving to him in the States in September…
I saw today he’s back in bumble, changed his profile pic and it pinned at his place 😔I’m
Devastated
She told me " I don't want to be together in this point of time, but I'm not completely done". I don't need anyone, I can be alone. Her and I been together for 6+ years and have a 3yr old together. Now she only wants contact if it involves only the baby. She has been living in her best friends basement for 2months now. I have been begging and crying over her. And she tells me to stop. And now she doesn't respond to anything other than about the baby. I try to no contact, works for about a week then I pour my heart back out to her. And still get no response. I am in this miserable cycle in my mind that in hopes she will come back. And starting to understand she's not coming back, but still hold on to all the pictures and memories of her, I don't have a single bad memory of her. I feel in order to get over her I have to hate her, but I can't. I don't k kw what to do. The texts I have sent her pouring my heart out. If roles were swaped, and she sent them to me, I'd have come back immediately.
I feel so stupid. After an 8 week trial period where I tried winning back my wife's heart, she told me she no longer loved me in the same way and asked me to leave. This was just a week ago so I'd decided I'd go strategic no contact with us having kids. She contacted me a little more the last three days since doing so, being overly nice, maybe sensing I'd got stronger. I wanted her to feel the reality of the situation and realise she's lost me and I won't just be there as a friend when needed. Well tonight I got a little more talkative than usual, the convo went on a bit then suddenly she ends the conversation short and bluntly, it makes me feel a right tit and I regret having even bothered. It's like it's allowed her to go straight back into the relief stage once again.
I need to be strong and keep this about the kids in future.
12th day of no contact after 3 weeks of pleading and telling him I’d fight (I was the original dumper, due to personal circumstances) he said he would never be able to be the same in the relationship with me. I’m trying to remain strong as it’s only the beginning but in my head he’s just learning to live without me? We had such a wonderful relationship.
I am almost 2 months of NC with severe fearful avoidant! I love him but I don’t want him back! I can’t let myself be in the situation anymore. He wasted 18 years of my time!
If he is back! I’m paying him back for good! He’s seeing a therapist for 9-10 months now!
im very curious to hear your whole story. would you like to share?
You are a gem of a person brother
One thing you should know is that, exes always come back, the problem is if you’re ready. In my case, my ex came back after 5wks of NO contact but didn’t want him anymore.
Not always
Exes don’t come back that’s a lie
@@Ericgodisgood, yeah you’re right…they definitely don’t come back to people like you
Hi Coach! I really appreciate all your videos they have helped me tremendously. I know you've went over this before but could you talk about long distance relationships more in depth and how to reconnect if that's the situation?
1 year 10 months, she had a boyfriend rebund for 10 months, i found her in a bar with her boyfriend, we talked a little, and she said she was resented with me, after that she posted a pictures on social media for first time and i lost all hope! It's been a waste of time and energy wondering if she would come back, and she never did, so it's not good to have hope for more than 1 year
Amen I hope
Wife comes back to me some day🙏🙏🙏
I hit 1 year since the breakup, to this day, my ex still basically smear campaigns me. To her I've become someone she can point and laugh at, all while she continues her self destructive tendencies and complains that no one loves her. How could anyone? I gave that asshole damn near everything I had and it still wasn't "the bare minimum" according to her. Guys crazy news: if you take a woman to a NHL game, a Macklemore and Imagine Dragons concert, Stephen King's house, buys your broke ass everything, feeds you, listens to you, fucking lives with you all while giving you the freedom you want because you don't have a car or even a license, that's no longer the bare minimum, ya gotta step it up.
But Jay, that's not NC. This girl has a tendency to have dogshit timing, I've turned my breakup into monitoring from a distance, as the girl I ended up falling in love with after is someone she actually asked if I was cheating on her with when we were together and she stalks her socials too.
So weird predicament here, I don't want my ex back but I don't want her to spout the dumb lies to her if we get together. Obviously I trust that I'm a high quality person and could easily disprove whatever claims there may be and why would you listen to an ex, but my gut tells me not to trust this person to not interfere with my new life.
She's the one who initiated the No Contact. And I fear she burned or threw away all of our stuff we put in a scrapbook that she kept.
Yeah, I did the opposite lol I tried the no contact but I only did. I feel like she was slipping away and forgetting about me. I know she was because she started seeing someone else because she wanted to know if she could fill those same things with someone else that she felt for me. Short, I blew up on her last night and had a freaking meltdown and crying and telling me a whole bunch of stuff she’s never told me before and now we have a date tomorrow night at her apartment with some wine, a puzzle and just a conversation! I’m beyond excited! I can’t wait
Please do a video about no contact after them cancelling the wedding.