I follow a model on instagram who is rn in the middle of her first pregnancy and who did a q&a recently. One of the questions was "is it true that pregnant women can feel resentment for their husbands" and she surprisingly answered that rather honestly. She said that from the day she got pregnant her whole life changed and she is going through huge body changes/discomfort and sometimes she looks over at her husband and thinks- nothing, literally nothing changed for him. Then they asked her if she enjoys being pregnant and she literally answered- No. What I'm trying to point out is that pregnancy takes a toll on the body and that's why women are more careful choosing their partner.
We can grow babies in tubes now or something though. At least partially. If you're a wealthy model, I suppose you can make it so your body doesn't have to go through that if you really have that much of a problem with it.
@@nicelypenn There are a set of procedures (not always safe for the child) that can minimize the effect on the mother. Very few famous people admit to having them, but the clinics that do them stay open.
Yes! This is a great way to illustrate the costs women have to face in their mating decisions. Some may take it as incel ideology that women have harsher standards, but as another commentor pointed out, its the bare minimum when considering that men have it much easier during this time.
Yeah, so this is a known phenomenon in psychology! Parental investment theory posits that the sex that has the greatest investment (of time, energy, resources biological and otherwise, etc) in reproduction is the one that is going to be "choosy." A woman who spends 9 months gestating and years more child rearing will not pay such a hefty price to have sex with a man who is physically and genetically unfit and unestablished (ie. Has no resources to provide in order to support for the woman and his genetic progeny). For this reason, women are more selective, and men choose instead to attempt to "spread their seed" far and wide as opposed to "putting all their eggs in one basket."
I think you may want to use the word, style. Also I don't expect this channel to do this, but if what you want is style just respond this comment and I'll tell you what i know.
Imagine being a late bloomer and experiencing both the halo effect and the unattractive tax. I’m always fascinated perusing reddit and reading posts from people who have experienced this and the cognitive dissonance that comes with it.
@Evan Landry say that again when you get negative canthal tilt, rounded forehead slope, low cheekbones, and suboptimal facial proportions. And the incorrect color
Non attractive people end up with bad attitudes after a life of unfair treatment based on looks and get less experience in life too . That’s why I laugh at people who think ugly peoples can win others over with niceness or brilliance- what gaslighting
@@joanbaczek2575 Its hard to break out from the cycle, but most people can change their looks because most people are average. I was an ugly ass teen with terrible proportions, terrible haircuts and style, but after actively improving my looks now i look good and i dont have to pay the "unattractive tax"
Eh I don't fully agree, only partially Yes that is the rule/tendency but there are a decent number of exceptions I consider myself as one I was never "ugly", more like below average, not an eyesore but also not welcomed I became very studious and knowledgeable to overcome this and it worked (School topper, state level competitor, debates, poem competitions, computer geek stuff, etc) However after getting fit, into shape and now considered "handsome" by friends, it's kinda ridiculous how easy everything has become So i believe ugly people can overcome via sheer brilliance/excellence but it is absurdly difficult and not everyone can
About 6-8 years ago, people pretended and gaslighted each other so hard that looks don’t matter. Now with looks theory learning channels and looks theory on reddit like this more and more people are actually beginning to shift to finally admitting looks matter. (Also online dating apps like Tinder, instagram and tiktok have also been part of what has forced people to realise looks matter too) I think admitting that looks matter is actually freeing and empowering, than gaslighting and blaming lesser attractive people for things out of their control. Also improving your looks is shamed less if we admit physical attractiveness is important, we can empower people to improve their looks
Also balance is needed too, once you’ve improved your looks to the maximum possibility you can, there’s no point obsessing over it even more. Looks are even better with a fun personality and intelligence and confidence to go with it, so I’m not encouraging to abandon everything but looks either
@@FormerPessitheRobberfan Um not sure I agree. Your statement makes it seem like men want to victimise themselves and want everyone’s sympathy etc. Yes, “forever alone” people of either gender do get gaslighted and told that beauty doesn’t matter etc and that is a misleading and gaslighting thing to say.
I absolutely agree, and for the most part traditional modes of "looking better" include eating healthful/nutritious foods and exercising regularly. That actually encourages people to take better care of themselves.
Wanted to thank QOVES for discussing these topics. I don’t know about others but I’ve been more mindful of how I treat others now that I’m aware of things such as the halo effect, high trust/low trust features and how we have a certain predisposition because of someone’s features. I discovered I was guilty of not engaging with certain people in good faith because of this. It’s something I’ve worked in now at work and people have certainly noticed, I’ve talked to people I never would have before.
The way some men treat women they find unattractive is what terrifies me. It's like they are just enraged that she's alive and daring to breathe his air. I don't get wasting all the energy attacking someone for not looking how you want them to. It's also why I want to keep my cuteness privilege as long as possible, even if it does also mean I read as younger. Because people still tend to treat me kindly even if they don't find me sexually attractive, because cute is more universal. I get to the parental instincts.
I once saw a fascinating reddit post on "how women knew they were the less attractive one" and the recurring comments were that men saw them as an obstacle to their more attractive friend. Might make for an interesting video to look at.
@@QOVESStudio I definitely saw that one too! That would be a really fitting topic for the channel. I find it kind of funny too because there is nothing less attractive than watching somebody being needlessly rude to your friend. I've seen it play out so many times.
@@KaylaNoelle1 I'm in hs currently and i see constantly that people just disregard people who aren't attractive. My school is pretty wealthy so most people are very beautiful but for the ones that aren't, its frustrating. People really are apes, they act on instinct rather than recognizing people are just people, attractive, unattractive, or not.
@@KaylaNoelle1 Men as a whole have basically no standards so even if you are 300 pounds some men will chase after you. Women treat unattractive men a dozen times worse than men treat unattractive women.
I heard u mention indirectly that being neurotypical makes you more attractive. I dont disagree with that. As an autistic I would be highly interested in a video on how being neurodivergent changes how people perceive you and your attractiveness and what you can do to counteract that as much as possible. I know your videos are not about this, but just showing interest in case you ever thought about it :)
Does it really make you more attractive? I doubt this. I think being outlandish/weird probably makes no difference. I like “weird” girls so i am biased
@@OHYS ayy great theres hope then! I, for one, am super socially awkward, and I also look below average probably and have never had anyone interested in me. I have the impression that people dont see me as "an option". I didnt particularly mean physical attraction, but a more holistic attraction, and I feel like even if I did look average or above, people would potentially still not see me as "an option" because of how awkward I am irl and lack of eye contact etc. A lot of people get freaked out from my lack of eye contact and before I was diagnosed I literally had acquainted classmates grab my head and force me to stare into their eyes "to become normal" and I have practised a lot both irl and through videos but it doesnt seem to improve much. I used to instead look at people's foreheads but learnt from a viral tiktok (onlyjayus) that that is apparently a psychology hack people use to creep people out so that was even worse I guess and theres just all these small things that just turn people off. And when you constantly have to think about your facial expressions, tonal voice variations, body language etc (none of which come natural) it's incredibly rare to get "a spark" with anyone when you are thinking about all these things while thinking about what to say, what not to say, what would be weird to say, what they say, what they are conveying through body language, and expressing emotions without over/undergoing it and not seeming uncanny. (Tldr) This is 100% 10x the length you expected I'm sure, which just proves my point. I (and many other w ASD) are horrible at communicating effectively in a way that fits and reflects w other people's brains whether that be talking too much or too little with the wrong words or too proffesional word with too little or too much voice variation and over expressive or under expressive, seeming unempathic or oversensutive when we cant even process what to say or what the other person is saying because our brain is just racing on 120%. I may or may not just have contradicted myself a whole bunch so if u scrolled down here before readin, please dont bother, have a good evening :)
@@user-pl4yq1oc1y I (personally) think there is two types of awkward, based on your energy. There is awkward awkward when you just feel that the other is not in tune with himself. You can just feel the dissociation between the words and the body, which makes them scary/ not trustworthy. And there is awkward embraced, where the other is conscious of his awkwardness but completely in tune with it. He is not embarassed/ ashamed, yet he is conscious of his difference and accepts it. These people makes me want to be more sympathetic and accepting of their behavior... Wanting to have a perfect body position/ voice/ words/ reaction will simply make you look like a robot. Just take whatever comes, listen to what attentively to what people have to say, and even, admit to them that you are socialy awkward. They will most likely be sympathetic... A book that might help: how to talk to anyone by Leil Lowndes. It says that one of the best way to bond with a stranger is to make them talk about themselves AND to be able to talk about their passions. Having a lot of shared experiences might make you able to relate to someone, despite your lessened social capacities. Then again, it is only my opinion :), have a nice day !
I would like to see something like this also. I am also autistic and whenever I would ask my cousin if I was ugly, she would tell me that I am not ugly just autistic. Idk what that actually means, but I assume it indicates my autistic traits (being awkward, stimming, etc) are what makes me undesirable.
This was a brutal podcast, not only did you prove that looks matter, you also proved that money and status cannot really make up for it and that looks are mostly genetic and are going to be very difficult to change at best
I can't fall in "love" or sleep with someone unless I find them very attractive. Dated a model (real model) for 6 years and I was so proud and loved to flaunt him. 6 years and attraction never faded.
I have a similar issue with my attraction, where I can't love or sleep with someone unless I've gotten to know them and enjoy their personality. They can be gorgeous, but if their personality is grating to me, it can't happen. I'm female, btw.
@@yuordreams I, on the other hand, am a man. And when one's a man, sex is always good, i.e. it always ends the same way (for me). You don't have to know her, you don't need to know her name even. She needs "only" to be beautiful, at least in my eyes in this particular moment.
That’s why Koreans give their children a plastic surgery as a gift because your looks will definitely get you far in life. We can’t deny that attractive people have more advantages than the less attractive ones.
As a woman I have thought the what if scenario "would I be able to be with an totally unattractive guy even if had the most amazing personality and was filthy rich?". I could be friends with him but taking the next step and actually let him touch me would be most likely quite difficult. I think women have much broader criteria in what we find attractive and two women can have drastically different tastes (I guess it's the same for men) and that's why it might seem that women don't pay attention to looks. (or maybe nobody has actually cared to ask women what they like and they just assume what women like, which I think is a common occurrence and practice by men). We do pay attention to looks to some extent but thankfully for men we don't all like the same things/characteristics. It is also true that if we label a guy as creepy or disgusting it is for life unless he goes under a major glow up. PUA tricks are just infuriating and most of the women just see through that shit in seconds! Sometimes just the thought of a disgusting man touching me makes me shiver. This train of thought is mostly to filter out the no-go's and based on what's left we further refine our criteria.
This may be brutal to read to disgusting men Like myself, but I appreciate the honesty and I would take the brutal truth over gaslighting any day. Only thing I disagree with is that women have as wide/wider preferences for looks than men, men love women in all shapes and sizes while women just Like different flavours of Chads
@@stanislavstoimenov1729 As a woman, allow me to answer your question while we wait for hers: Kind of, but not in the long run. What I mean by that : I'd be willing to close my eyes on the first few dates if I knew the man I was dating was wealthy or came from a great family. But only on the first few dates. If I really want to push it, 2 months is my limit. If I didn't find him attractive enough and he couldn't make up for it by personnality, wit, intelligence and so on, I would eventually call it off. And you can be sure that we'd go nowhere past the talking stage. The exact same thing can be observed with several of my friends; if they give the man a try despite the lack of attraction, eventually, they just end up cutting ties with him anyways. It might be a great starter, but usually, if we didn't find the man attractive at first sight, nothing can make us change our mind, we just delay the rejection.
you say women have different tastes in men, but all i hear when it comes to women's preferences is tall, dark and handsome, so most of ya'll just find guys who are like 6ft, lean and chiseled attractive, i never see women prefer men on the shorter side for example, men prefer slim women, thick women, tall women, short women and so on..... so i think men are more flexible with their preferences
@@stevetheiii477 Very important point that you make and that I sort of agree on. But have you ever wondered why this is the most common description? Maybe because it is the most acceptable and easy one to say. You don't need to elaborate because it seems sort of universal (yet, deep down, we all have different faces in mind, with little particularities we like). Anyways, to get back on what op wrote, she literally told her truth, thus, trying to dismiss what she said is quite counter-productive and ironic. Indeed, when a woman says she likes something different, she gets dismissed, but when she says she likes something more "common" she gets bashed and is deemed superficial. If anything, I think you missed the point op was trying to make and even reinforced it by explaining to her what women *actually* like.
Today I learned that I'm not a short guy who is fun and confident. I am a short guy who has pretty hands, hair, veins, skinny body and dresses* well. You can't convince me that clothing isn't important, not that I think you would.
Yes, someone once put it nicely "people perceive your personality through your physical attractiveness" something like that. Your face and body are the filter for your personality.
Some additions to this podcast, which is good, but: Women do need to consider the risk of r*pe, violence and stalking more often than men do. Due to how discontent some unattractive men are, and how this increases their irritability, it makes women very quick to reject them. The reverse also happens: women assume attractive men are happier with their life and thus less easily agitated, more accepting, a calmer and safer partner. This isn't always true, but it's a rule of thumb I think many operate by subconsciously.
It is still important to remember that when considering looks and power dynamic in relationships that it’s a hierarchy and looks, while very important, are not at the top. No matter how attractive a partner is, if they depend on their wife/husband (usually it’s wife depending on husband but the reverse can be true too) for housing, money, visa (especially if they are a person of colour in a western country), they can end up in a very disadvantageous position. There is a point at which the socio-economic factors can outweigh looks. There are many cases where very attractive women (or men but it’s more often women because they are more likely to end up in a vulnerable position) are dependant on men who are very unattractive and end up tolerating abuse and unhappiness because the alternative is being deported, homeless, poor etc.
I hear what you’re saying about women possibly putting more importance on attractiveness than they say, but my (and many other people’s) lived experience shows that pretty women are with unattractive men all the time. I know you said our threshold is lower, so that could explain it. But I’m not sure it’s such a hard threshold. Yeah if you show me a face I find unattractive and say “but he makes good money” I’m gonna say “yeah still not into him.” But if that man came into my life, had a dope personality, was funny, deep, confident, was good with kids, showed me a little attention, etc. he could be a 4 and I might melt. I have experienced it firsthand, and I have seen other women become attracted to men they were initially not attracted to. But a man’s qualifications on paper will rarely be enough to overcome unattractiveness, and I think that’s why that study produced the results it did.
Very interesting episode, I find it interesting when you talk about evolutionary biology. I bought the patreon for this month, I hope you continue making more episodes
@@jamarking6713 no where in this video did he say it is completely looks. The "unattractive tax" is what he said, a tax. You need to be much much better but in other stuff but there wasn't an exact amount amount
@@lukebruce5234 you need to remember there are good looking people and above average looking people. Imo this skews that personality and game upwards because they still need to compensate with personality and game but to a lesser degree than good looking people
Let's acknowledge the obvious flaw in this study. A line of text is no substitute for knowing someone. I.e. concluding that looks is the most important/only factor in attraction because of the fact that the women chose the more attractive faces on a picture despite a line of text that suggests poor character is a flawed conclusion. To actually study the effect that charm and charisma has on perceived attractiveness would be insanely difficult as those traits are difficult to quantify.
You smell right to someone, guaranteed. "One of these steroidal compounds, androstadienone, is present at much higher concentrations in male sweat and can be detected by women, albeit with wide variation in sensitivity. Upper-lip application of a pharmacological dose of androstadienonein women results in improved mood and heightened focus - particularly to capture emotional information. A positive mood is known to facilitate women’s sexual response, and increased focus improves sexual satisfaction. Indeed, some studies showed a beneficial effect of androstadienone on sexual desire and arousal. However, these effects were dependent on the context of the experiment, for example, on the presence of a male attendant. Pheromones may also play a role in mate selection which is “disassortative” regarding the human leukocyte antigen (HLA)-genotype. Preliminary evidence suggests that exposure to androstadienone in women promotes attractiveness ratings of potential mates. In conclusion, some data indicate that 16-androstene pheromones, in particular androstadienone, play a beneficial role in women’s mood, focus and sexual response, and perhaps also in mate selection."
I'm asexual and extremely sex repulsed, and I have some thoughts. I do have a boyfriend, and given that he's a chubby, fairly scruffy man, he's not exactly conventionally attractive. But I still find him cute in his own way, because he's just got such a sweet personality. He's kind and he listens to me and I feel happy and safe around him. He also makes me laugh and we have alot in common in terms of interests. Perhaps in the absence of physical attraction, such as in my case, other factors really do make more of a difference. Also, to be perfectly clear, I am a man, and am very willing to assume that I am simply outside of the norm.
@@brandonbriseno9810 That's not what that means in that context and you know it. I am pretty sure my lack of sexual attraction to anything is in fact just that.
Omg cool! I'm a demi-sexual to which I believe has a separate spectrum than asexuality (despite these groups sometimes intertwining due to a general lack of sexual attraction). Like a lot of demis like me have seen so many different experiences on how other demis feel and experience attraction and it's really cool! I don't really see myself as ace (even tho some people group me in with aces), but I just wanted to say that I relate to what you're saying (as a person who under normal circumstances does not feel seggsual attraction) and that I'm proud of you
Hey Qoves, what's you opinion on rebound relationships? 'Dating coaches' associate a lot of psychology with it (finding somebody similar to the ex or complete opposite etc.) but to me it looks pretty simple. When somebody is rebounding they lower the physical standards to quickly find somebody. After they realize and catch up with reality, they no longer find them attractive and start regreting their decision to date down?
Can you do a video about "arranged marriages" and its impact on evolution and society because some of the time physical attractiveness is not the main criteria for arranged marriages.
I'd be interested in this as well. The ability to create and sustain wealth may have some genetic component (conscientiousness or caution vs risk-taking).
@@krspykreme5951 My Mom was in a sorta arranged marriage, basically my grandparents really liked my Dad and wanted them to marry. They met each other my Mom wasn't keen but he was actually very handsome they married over 50 years now.
I would really love to hear a more in-depth look at how other factors like humour can override physical attractiveness. For example I find several comedians very attractive because of how consistently they can make me laugh even though they are conventionally unattractive. People will often be like, “How could you find them attractive?” And it’s difficult to explain other than saying that they’re funny.
humour is a complex one from evolutionary standpoint. to be funny you need to be smart, able to self reflect, and good jokes are usually not cruel or require "reading the room" (social skills). cognitive skills can be important in mate selection as seen in for example in crows or canaries or other birds that have no fixed time for song learning, as better cognitive skills may lead to better resource allocating skills. in long term mate selection (if you are female) finding a partner who is providing for and nurturing his offsprings (social skills -> cooperation) can be a better strategy than finding the perfect looking partner, who may end up ditching you or being less cooperative (looks are more pronounced in short term partner selection for both sexes). sometimes a bit of a trade off is needed to find the guy who is the perfect father and you end up with less of a "sexy" one (eg. less sexual dimorphic traits as in males this is due to more testosterone).
For me, apart from his face is his hair. Idk why, but i reaaaally like his wavy black hair and when he changed it...well yk. His eyes and eyebrows too. How he look at people...
Hi Qoves Studio, I just finished listening to your episode about Michael B Jordan and at the end of the video you made a statement that has me perplexed, so hopefully one day you can do a podcast on it. At the end of the episode you made the comment that many women actually avoid very attractive man for a more average looking gentle looking man. The reason this caught my interest is because I've often heard women make the same comment about really gorgeous men, that they wouldn't date them. I had always assumed this was something women said because they were afraid the guy would have rejected them anyway so it's kind of a version of sour grapes from ASAP's fables. But now after hearing your statement I don't know because if women are actively avoiding very hot guys then what is all the data that you have been showing that looks Matter?
The hot women with fragile egos when a little older wants the publics eyes on her and not the man. The women who want a happy family place more importance on personality and wealth or any stability
I think its that way with men too- i have experienced that phenomenon. However, I always look for a man to at least match my looks or exceed. Which has been extremely difficult to find
It explains why Heidi Klum and Seal never lasted. Who do you think was the hotter 1 in that pairing ? She had the whole world male population as an option.
If we assume height to be an indicator of genetic quality, wouldn't that imply that inhabitants of countries with lower average height are (on average) genetically inferior? Seems odd.
Genetic indicator and genetic quality are not the same thing. Being in the average percentile of those around you is fine as a genetic indicator of mate quality. Otherwise people in lesser developed countries would struggle to find a partner and wait out for the taller people of developed countries to come to them. That isnt the case, everything is dependant on percentiles, not percentages.
@Heh Can you prove it's social and not biological. Accum's razor would suggest that the simplest reason would be because they have a superior phenotype. Of course that would be very politcally incorrect to admit.
Facial aesthetics have been highlighted more in your videos. Although some physical (body) characteristics are mentioned in sexual dimorphism, I wonder how breast size, waist line, hip size, waist to hip ratio, butt size affect physical attraction? Is there any significant effect or nothing significant? You often mention how men perceive women to like muscles (e.g. muscular biceps, abs) but apparently it's not generally true as you've said. You even mention how women like certain features like the hands etc. If you could discuss studies relating to physical (body) characteristics and its effects to physical attraction for both sexes, that would be awesome!
Are women attracted to guys who are on the same attractiveness level as them or is they’re looks threshold slightly above their own attractiveness level? How does make up favor in to this? Do they date men who are equal in attractiveness to how they look without makeup and vice versa?
@@cylon5741 nope, it's called 'using' men for their resources. Ask yourself a simple question - what is a woman sacrificing to be with you? If the answer is nothing or she is making you sacrifice your resources for her - the answer is simple - no attraction.
Good question Jordan. Another question is are men really equal in terms of attractiveness to women in general? How many balding men are there vs women? How many men have attractive traits in their bodies (broad shoulders/muscles) vs women (bewbs and arse). How many men take care of their skin vs women (can or can not include makeup in this)? How many men have a good fashion sense vs women? Height is the only area where I feel men are ahead of women .... is it really a wonder women obsess over height?
Money is not a secondary thing that women look for in a men like you said in the video. It's been shown time and time again that even wealthy women go for a richer man than they. Sure physical attraction is important but if he's broke than it's a deal breaker for almost all women, where as if he's rich, as long as he's not an aberration, he's going to get his pick
Because there are a lot of richer men than them who are willing to date them. It's a niche and yes they are still secondary because these women already have dated attractive guys in the past. Rich guy comes 'second' after good looking guy. Why is the opposite of rich broke? Is there no in between. Do you have to be Bezos or a peasant only? You same argument can be used for looks. "If he's good looking as long as he's not broke as f, he's going to get his pick"
No tbh even if he's super rich and a good man. It would be hard for us to be physically attacted even if we want to. If he doesn't feel the "standard" we might feel kinda grossed out. Being a little attractive and clean helps a lot.
I always watch your videos, your work is A++MAZING. I just have a small request, could you please add subtitles? I have big struggles to understand sometimes. Thank you so much for you and your channel and if you can't do it, is not an issue I will get better in english.
Do you know what the looks threshold is? I've seen a study that women rate 80% as below average physically. If that's the case, do average men pass the looks threshold, but women still see them as unattractive? Obviously not every woman rates the exact same, but I feel like alot of women must be settling in looks even if you "pass" the threshold. To me it's not enough to just pass the threshold if that means they still see you as unattractive, but will just give you a chance if you have money or something else to compensate with. You really want to pass the threshold of actually being physically attractive.
Well natural selection? The 80 % who are ugly should be erased from the pool gene and the hot ones should reproduce. The average population should become more handsome by women being picky. Why produce ugly children?
The study your refering to is based on OkCupid data. There are a few things to keep in mind- 1) There are 2 types of mating:- Short-term (casual relationships) and long-term (serious relationships) 2) the standards for the two types of mating are different:- looks are MUCH more important in short term mating than long term, mating where reliability and financial stability take lead 3) Women invest and risk more, particularly in short-term mating- one hook up can lead to 18-20 years of commitment, there's the risk of being abused, also slut shaming; THUS women avoid short term mating, and women that do go for short term mating have higher standards of looks than men. 4) SINCE men invest and risk less in a hook up, they may infact benefit more, they tend to have lower standards 5) In Long-term relationships, both sexes have more or less equal difficulty and standards 6) Online dating such as OKCupid is considered to primarily be associated with casual relationships, THUS the user base of such platforms is skewed towards men (as women avoid hook ups). On OkCupid about 65% of their user base in male. On Tinder 75% is male. 7) BECAUSE there are lesser women looking for casual relationships and more men, such women get MORE options to choose from, and HENCE are raise their standards even higher
I agree that women are just as into looks as any man, but they have been conditioned to believe otherwise. They say that Cleopatra wasn't beautiful, yet she captivated men. Can you explain that? Wallis Simpson, Yoko Ono?
Your content is great,,,, based on real science, thank you Please dedicate a video to discuss the impact of violent sports on faces like Brock Lesnar, Randy Orton, and others....Why is there an athletic and masculine face that looks like a good and cheerful hero like Woody Harrelson, and another face with the same traits looks scary (to me at least) like Brock Lesnar face?
Steroids and growth hormone (+being muscular in general) can really affect facial aesthetics over time. It makes faces look more "caveman"-like. @/ more plates more dates have talked about it
The irony of this is that there are few things less attractive than a man that would obsess enough about his appearance to listen to a podcast like this.
The problem is people will looksmax faking the genetic quality to potential mates. Then when the children are born you wonder why they are unattractive. Because your partner had jaw surgery, cheek implants, leg lengthening surgery. I am against looksmaxxing when you cross the line from maximising genetic potential to faking genetic quality.
This so grimly reminds me of how incels see and talk about the world, and that just killed the joy i had whilst watching ur videos. It just seems like a lookout at life like that only cultivates misery and conformism, which is well, not the nicest way to live Not to sound rude, but life simply is not that simple I just canmot longer consume media like this if i want to keep my mind healthy
Understandable! Take a break and come back later, if ever, you decide. Sometimes the content has to be played up for the camera, and its impossible to cover all of the nuances that make real life slightly different to a closed system lab test, so its not all doom and gloom. Especially if your social experiences say otherwise.
I tired to escape the truth for a long time but ultimately its still true. Its freeing to just accept it and realise that looks are a massive factor, not just in dating but in all aspects of life. Maybe its just because I am ugly and so I am forced to see this side of humanity either way... ?
Usually the info in your videos is bang on but your off on afew points here-mainly that women are just as looks oriented as men and have a hard threshold for looks. If you walk down any street you'll see that's not true-I see hideous men with pretty women all the time! I've never seen a unattractive female with any man let alone an attractive one. And even when it comes to sex men might sleep with average women, but 'average' in men's opinion is actually pretty in objective reality. I've been slim with shiny hair, good teeth and clear skin - all good 'health markers' yet I've never been able to get any lol. If you haven't already you should do a vidoe on how important sexual dimorphism is in females bevause its probably more important to just look female than it is to have technically good features
Less attractive guys have an advantage to me of being more approachable , less full of themselves and less likely to cheat. Pair that with good handyman skills , a solid income and a heart of gold and I'm sold ! Plus even though six pack abs may look better a soft belly makes a nicer softer cushion :)
Are you sure? how do you explain Harvey weinstein that had no one but two georgious wives or the pete davidson effect?, i appreciate your work, hope yor doing well!
"bad sex" : hell yeah, if I'm going to be slut-shamed for sleeping around when I'm unhappily mated, might as well pick a good ride from the get go. 🤷🏻♀️
Great content, but you’re absolutely incorrect on one big aspect you briefly touched on…: Regardless of the era, the marriage union is always gravely necessary for a timeless reason. According to biology, psychology, every field of science and metric of a healthy society, marriage between a man and woman provides the greatest environment for child-rearing. A proper and healthy marriage fosters the healthiest of upbringings for a well-adjusted, effectual, and contributing member to society. Procreation and marriage are for the children, the continuation of our future as people.
@@lavieenrose7925 a healthy marriage fosters good children, yes, but you can also be a healthy couple and foster good children. So I was wondering why *marriage* specifically, makes a difference, that's what I wanted an elaboration on
@@mademagic8430 When two people are married to each other they are meant to have more commitment which is important for raising healthy children. But when it is just a couple, most people would say that it’s less serious and less stable than a marriage is supposed to be, and therefore less beneficial for raising children.
Here is a radical idea. On a daily basis, your own beauty or attractiveness should not matter in the way that you obsess over it. People legit act and talk like being attractive to others makes a whole person. It is important but I just don't think we should organize our whole life to sexually attract others. Because you live in your body just the way it looks RIGHT NOW and changing it takes time. If you are fat (which is considered unattractive), should the person reject their body because of unattractiveness ? That makes no fucking sense. Looking healthy/presentable is important in society of course but to me it's different from wanting to be constantly sexually attractive as it is way more unequal and hard/expensive to do so or even almost impossible for some people .
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
I follow a model on instagram who is rn in the middle of her first pregnancy and who did a q&a recently. One of the questions was "is it true that pregnant women can feel resentment for their husbands" and she surprisingly answered that rather honestly. She said that from the day she got pregnant her whole life changed and she is going through huge body changes/discomfort and sometimes she looks over at her husband and thinks- nothing, literally nothing changed for him. Then they asked her if she enjoys being pregnant and she literally answered- No. What I'm trying to point out is that pregnancy takes a toll on the body and that's why women are more careful choosing their partner.
At least she has a husband who will hopefully be present and be a good father. I can't imagine how hard must be to get pregnant and be dumped
We can grow babies in tubes now or something though. At least partially. If you're a wealthy model, I suppose you can make it so your body doesn't have to go through that if you really have that much of a problem with it.
@@nicelypenn There are a set of procedures (not always safe for the child) that can minimize the effect on the mother. Very few famous people admit to having them, but the clinics that do them stay open.
Yes! This is a great way to illustrate the costs women have to face in their mating decisions. Some may take it as incel ideology that women have harsher standards, but as another commentor pointed out, its the bare minimum when considering that men have it much easier during this time.
Yeah, so this is a known phenomenon in psychology! Parental investment theory posits that the sex that has the greatest investment (of time, energy, resources biological and otherwise, etc) in reproduction is the one that is going to be "choosy." A woman who spends 9 months gestating and years more child rearing will not pay such a hefty price to have sex with a man who is physically and genetically unfit and unestablished (ie. Has no resources to provide in order to support for the woman and his genetic progeny). For this reason, women are more selective, and men choose instead to attempt to "spread their seed" far and wide as opposed to "putting all their eggs in one basket."
How people develop a “type” would also be a great talk
!!
I think you may want to use the word, style. Also I don't expect this channel to do this, but if what you want is style just respond this comment and I'll tell you what i know.
this is generally just who you hang around when you are younger no?
@@brandoncrooks1681 nooo
This
Always wanted to hear one of your podcast. Didnt have the money to be a patreon. Thanks
This was free.
Every other one is free
@Bozz Dog Their are probably bellow 18 or just... Can't get one.
Same.
Some are on their Spotify! :)
"physical attraction is not negotiable"
thanks ❤️ that explains a lot
😂
Imagine being a late bloomer and experiencing both the halo effect and the unattractive tax. I’m always fascinated perusing reddit and reading posts from people who have experienced this and the cognitive dissonance that comes with it.
I've experienced both, and at this point I would say the halo effect is more detrimental than the unattractive tax, imo.
I wish
As someone who got their glow-up at 19 I can confirm this, people will treat you massively different when you're good looking
@@EvanLandry221 i would give you a 6 at best
@Evan Landry say that again when you get negative canthal tilt, rounded forehead slope, low cheekbones, and suboptimal facial proportions. And the incorrect color
Non attractive people end up with bad attitudes after a life of unfair treatment based on looks and get less experience in life too . That’s why I laugh at people who think ugly peoples can win others over with niceness or brilliance- what gaslighting
Me and my sister are good looking and my brother is ugly, he turned out to have the only one in the family with the nastiest behaviour
@@flyaway6671 well that supports my theory, If you ugly and treated ugly your heart gets ugly and it just becomes a cycle,
@@joanbaczek2575 Its hard to break out from the cycle, but most people can change their looks because most people are average. I was an ugly ass teen with terrible proportions, terrible haircuts and style, but after actively improving my looks now i look good and i dont have to pay the "unattractive tax"
Have you heard of Bukowski or Gainsbourg tho?
Eh I don't fully agree, only partially
Yes that is the rule/tendency but there are a decent number of exceptions
I consider myself as one
I was never "ugly", more like below average, not an eyesore but also not welcomed
I became very studious and knowledgeable to overcome this and it worked
(School topper, state level competitor, debates, poem competitions, computer geek stuff, etc)
However after getting fit, into shape and now considered "handsome" by friends, it's kinda ridiculous how easy everything has become
So i believe ugly people can overcome via sheer brilliance/excellence but it is absurdly difficult and not everyone can
About 6-8 years ago, people pretended and gaslighted each other so hard that looks don’t matter.
Now with looks theory learning channels and looks theory on reddit like this more and more people are actually beginning to shift to finally admitting looks matter. (Also online dating apps like Tinder, instagram and tiktok have also been part of what has forced people to realise looks matter too)
I think admitting that looks matter is actually freeing and empowering, than gaslighting and blaming lesser attractive people for things out of their control. Also improving your looks is shamed less if we admit physical attractiveness is important, we can empower people to improve their looks
Also balance is needed too, once you’ve improved your looks to the maximum possibility you can, there’s no point obsessing over it even more.
Looks are even better with a fun personality and intelligence and confidence to go with it, so I’m not encouraging to abandon everything but looks either
The people gaslighting created the incels
@@FormerPessitheRobberfan Um not sure I agree. Your statement makes it seem like men want to victimise themselves and want everyone’s sympathy etc.
Yes, “forever alone” people of either gender do get gaslighted and told that beauty doesn’t matter etc and that is a misleading and gaslighting thing to say.
I still think the objective beauty community is a niche
I absolutely agree, and for the most part traditional modes of "looking better" include eating healthful/nutritious foods and exercising regularly. That actually encourages people to take better care of themselves.
Wanted to thank QOVES for discussing these topics. I don’t know about others but I’ve been more mindful of how I treat others now that I’m aware of things such as the halo effect, high trust/low trust features and how we have a certain predisposition because of someone’s features. I discovered I was guilty of not engaging with certain people in good faith because of this. It’s something I’ve worked in now at work and people have certainly noticed, I’ve talked to people I never would have before.
Bless you :) The pretty ones who are still friendly make a big difference, trust me. You have a big heart....
The way some men treat women they find unattractive is what terrifies me. It's like they are just enraged that she's alive and daring to breathe his air. I don't get wasting all the energy attacking someone for not looking how you want them to. It's also why I want to keep my cuteness privilege as long as possible, even if it does also mean I read as younger. Because people still tend to treat me kindly even if they don't find me sexually attractive, because cute is more universal. I get to the parental instincts.
I once saw a fascinating reddit post on "how women knew they were the less attractive one" and the recurring comments were that men saw them as an obstacle to their more attractive friend. Might make for an interesting video to look at.
@@QOVESStudio I definitely saw that one too! That would be a really fitting topic for the channel. I find it kind of funny too because there is nothing less attractive than watching somebody being needlessly rude to your friend. I've seen it play out so many times.
@@KaylaNoelle1 I'm in hs currently and i see constantly that people just disregard people who aren't attractive. My school is pretty wealthy so most people are very beautiful but for the ones that aren't, its frustrating. People really are apes, they act on instinct rather than recognizing people are just people, attractive, unattractive, or not.
@@catmaxi2599 women won’t mention that a ugly woman still gets treated better than her male counter part cuz men still want to fck her
@@KaylaNoelle1 Men as a whole have basically no standards so even if you are 300 pounds some men will chase after you. Women treat unattractive men a dozen times worse than men treat unattractive women.
I heard u mention indirectly that being neurotypical makes you more attractive. I dont disagree with that. As an autistic I would be highly interested in a video on how being neurodivergent changes how people perceive you and your attractiveness and what you can do to counteract that as much as possible. I know your videos are not about this, but just showing interest in case you ever thought about it :)
Does it really make you more attractive? I doubt this. I think being outlandish/weird probably makes no difference. I like “weird” girls so i am biased
@@OHYS I don't think it's so much about personal preference as it is about what the general public thinks
@@OHYS ayy great theres hope then! I, for one, am super socially awkward, and I also look below average probably and have never had anyone interested in me. I have the impression that people dont see me as "an option". I didnt particularly mean physical attraction, but a more holistic attraction, and I feel like even if I did look average or above, people would potentially still not see me as "an option" because of how awkward I am irl and lack of eye contact etc. A lot of people get freaked out from my lack of eye contact and before I was diagnosed I literally had acquainted classmates grab my head and force me to stare into their eyes "to become normal" and I have practised a lot both irl and through videos but it doesnt seem to improve much. I used to instead look at people's foreheads but learnt from a viral tiktok (onlyjayus) that that is apparently a psychology hack people use to creep people out so that was even worse I guess and theres just all these small things that just turn people off. And when you constantly have to think about your facial expressions, tonal voice variations, body language etc (none of which come natural) it's incredibly rare to get "a spark" with anyone when you are thinking about all these things while thinking about what to say, what not to say, what would be weird to say, what they say, what they are conveying through body language, and expressing emotions without over/undergoing it and not seeming uncanny. (Tldr) This is 100% 10x the length you expected I'm sure, which just proves my point. I (and many other w ASD) are horrible at communicating effectively in a way that fits and reflects w other people's brains whether that be talking too much or too little with the wrong words or too proffesional word with too little or too much voice variation and over expressive or under expressive, seeming unempathic or oversensutive when we cant even process what to say or what the other person is saying because our brain is just racing on 120%. I may or may not just have contradicted myself a whole bunch so if u scrolled down here before readin, please dont bother, have a good evening :)
@@user-pl4yq1oc1y I (personally) think there is two types of awkward, based on your energy. There is awkward awkward when you just feel that the other is not in tune with himself. You can just feel the dissociation between the words and the body, which makes them scary/ not trustworthy. And there is awkward embraced, where the other is conscious of his awkwardness but completely in tune with it. He is not embarassed/ ashamed, yet he is conscious of his difference and accepts it. These people makes
me want to be more sympathetic and accepting of their behavior...
Wanting to have a perfect body position/ voice/ words/ reaction will simply make you look like a robot. Just take whatever comes, listen to what attentively to what people have to say, and even, admit to them that you are socialy awkward. They will most likely be sympathetic...
A book that might help: how to talk to anyone by Leil Lowndes. It says that one of the best way to bond with a stranger is to make them talk about themselves AND to be able to talk about their passions. Having a lot of shared experiences might make you able to relate to someone, despite your lessened social capacities.
Then again, it is only my opinion :), have a nice day !
I would like to see something like this also. I am also autistic and whenever I would ask my cousin if I was ugly, she would tell me that I am not ugly just autistic. Idk what that actually means, but I assume it indicates my autistic traits (being awkward, stimming, etc) are what makes me undesirable.
This was a brutal podcast, not only did you prove that looks matter, you also proved that money and status cannot really make up for it and that looks are mostly genetic and are going to be very difficult to change at best
I better live on reality than toxic positivity from RUclipsrs
Once again Incels and blackpillers are absolutely right
I mean they’re not really THAT difficult to change
@@cereal-agario7705 what is the way that is not difficult to change your height and facial bones
@@laddoink7636 This proves incels and black pillers are wrong, as usual.
I can't fall in "love" or sleep with someone unless I find them very attractive. Dated a model (real model) for 6 years and I was so proud and loved to flaunt him. 6 years and attraction never faded.
I have a similar issue with my attraction, where I can't love or sleep with someone unless I've gotten to know them and enjoy their personality. They can be gorgeous, but if their personality is grating to me, it can't happen. I'm female, btw.
U still waiting for him to come back?
@@yuordreams I, on the other hand, am a man. And when one's a man, sex is always good, i.e. it always ends the same way (for me). You don't have to know her, you don't need to know her name even. She needs "only" to be beautiful, at least in my eyes in this particular moment.
@@banzaaiiiii no I'm with someone equally sexy but with a good career. Why do you ask?
@@yuordreams exactly!!
That’s why Koreans give their children a plastic surgery as a gift because your looks will definitely get you far in life. We can’t deny that attractive people have more advantages than the less attractive ones.
To see beauty being scientifically backed up is so interesting I love it
Have never been this early in my life, this is so incredibly interesting I can’t miss it
Me too
Yay a whole half hour of your relaxing voice ❤️ thank you for posting
As a woman I have thought the what if scenario "would I be able to be with an totally unattractive guy even if had the most amazing personality and was filthy rich?". I could be friends with him but taking the next step and actually let him touch me would be most likely quite difficult. I think women have much broader criteria in what we find attractive and two women can have drastically different tastes (I guess it's the same for men) and that's why it might seem that women don't pay attention to looks. (or maybe nobody has actually cared to ask women what they like and they just assume what women like, which I think is a common occurrence and practice by men). We do pay attention to looks to some extent but thankfully for men we don't all like the same things/characteristics. It is also true that if we label a guy as creepy or disgusting it is for life unless he goes under a major glow up. PUA tricks are just infuriating and most of the women just see through that shit in seconds! Sometimes just the thought of a disgusting man touching me makes me shiver. This train of thought is mostly to filter out the no-go's and based on what's left we further refine our criteria.
This may be brutal to read to disgusting men Like myself, but I appreciate the honesty and I would take the brutal truth over gaslighting any day.
Only thing I disagree with is that women have as wide/wider preferences for looks than men, men love women in all shapes and sizes while women just Like different flavours of Chads
What about power? Does access to power makes a man more attractive for you?
@@stanislavstoimenov1729 As a woman, allow me to answer your question while we wait for hers: Kind of, but not in the long run. What I mean by that : I'd be willing to close my eyes on the first few dates if I knew the man I was dating was wealthy or came from a great family. But only on the first few dates. If I really want to push it, 2 months is my limit. If I didn't find him attractive enough and he couldn't make up for it by personnality, wit, intelligence and so on, I would eventually call it off. And you can be sure that we'd go nowhere past the talking stage. The exact same thing can be observed with several of my friends; if they give the man a try despite the lack of attraction, eventually, they just end up cutting ties with him anyways. It might be a great starter, but usually, if we didn't find the man attractive at first sight, nothing can make us change our mind, we just delay the rejection.
you say women have different tastes in men, but all i hear when it comes to women's preferences is tall, dark and handsome, so most of ya'll just find guys who are like 6ft, lean and chiseled attractive, i never see women prefer men on the shorter side for example, men prefer slim women, thick women, tall women, short women and so on..... so i think men are more flexible with their preferences
@@stevetheiii477 Very important point that you make and that I sort of agree on. But have you ever wondered why this is the most common description? Maybe because it is the most acceptable and easy one to say. You don't need to elaborate because it seems sort of universal (yet, deep down, we all have different faces in mind, with little particularities we like). Anyways, to get back on what op wrote, she literally told her truth, thus, trying to dismiss what she said is quite counter-productive and ironic. Indeed, when a woman says she likes something different, she gets dismissed, but when she says she likes something more "common" she gets bashed and is deemed superficial. If anything, I think you missed the point op was trying to make and even reinforced it by explaining to her what women *actually* like.
Today I learned that I'm not a short guy who is fun and confident. I am a short guy who has pretty hands, hair, veins, skinny body and dresses* well. You can't convince me that clothing isn't important, not that I think you would.
Strange name for a short guy with pretty hands, hair, veins, skinny body, and dress.
@@nicelypenn lmao u can name urself anything on utube, also that may be their name or using someone else's account.
@@krspykreme5951 I know that. It was just a joke.
@@nicelypenn oh ok mb g
@@nicelypenn Well. Last time I talked to people I was a guy, now am trans :D
Just wanted to say it is much more convenient for the pod to be on youtube and I hope yall keep posting them here.
It’s not for convenience…. These are usually for patrons only.
Looks are everything.
Even your personality is a direct result of your looks (in the eyes of other people).
Yes, someone once put it nicely "people perceive your personality through your physical attractiveness" something like that. Your face and body are the filter for your personality.
Some additions to this podcast, which is good, but:
Women do need to consider the risk of r*pe, violence and stalking more often than men do.
Due to how discontent some unattractive men are, and how this increases their irritability, it makes women very quick to reject them. The reverse also happens: women assume attractive men are happier with their life and thus less easily agitated, more accepting, a calmer and safer partner. This isn't always true, but it's a rule of thumb I think many operate by subconsciously.
You really summed uo the problems of dating in Mexico
It is still important to remember that when considering looks and power dynamic in relationships that it’s a hierarchy and looks, while very important, are not at the top. No matter how attractive a partner is, if they depend on their wife/husband (usually it’s wife depending on husband but the reverse can be true too) for housing, money, visa (especially if they are a person of colour in a western country), they can end up in a very disadvantageous position. There is a point at which the socio-economic factors can outweigh looks. There are many cases where very attractive women (or men but it’s more often women because they are more likely to end up in a vulnerable position) are dependant on men who are very unattractive and end up tolerating abuse and unhappiness because the alternative is being deported, homeless, poor etc.
I hear what you’re saying about women possibly putting more importance on attractiveness than they say, but my (and many other people’s) lived experience shows that pretty women are with unattractive men all the time. I know you said our threshold is lower, so that could explain it. But I’m not sure it’s such a hard threshold. Yeah if you show me a face I find unattractive and say “but he makes good money” I’m gonna say “yeah still not into him.” But if that man came into my life, had a dope personality, was funny, deep, confident, was good with kids, showed me a little attention, etc. he could be a 4 and I might melt. I have experienced it firsthand, and I have seen other women become attracted to men they were initially not attracted to. But a man’s qualifications on paper will rarely be enough to overcome unattractiveness, and I think that’s why that study produced the results it did.
The hands and veins point is so true. Excess muscles do nothing for me. But the shape of a man's hands will get my attention.
Very interesting episode, I find it interesting when you talk about evolutionary biology. I bought the patreon for this month, I hope you continue making more episodes
Again: I'd like to point how masterfully you've explained where confidence comes from.
This channel is straight Hiroshima Nagasaki black pills
What do you mean?
I find that alcohol can affect other peoples looks.
😂
Very true!
That’s why I don’t drink
@@jcardi1544 Me neither, drinking is over rated, it's only fun for a short while and it destroys all productivity.
16:14 mans is spittin straight bars
He really went in hard with the blackpills on this one 💀
Agree but he has a lot of studies to support this... it's probably like 35-40 percent game+personality and the rest is looks imo
@@jamarking6713 no where in this video did he say it is completely looks. The "unattractive tax" is what he said, a tax. You need to be much much better but in other stuff but there wasn't an exact amount amount
@@Heknon it's probably 10% game+personality at the very most
@@lukebruce5234 you need to remember there are good looking people and above average looking people. Imo this skews that personality and game upwards because they still need to compensate with personality and game but to a lesser degree than good looking people
@@Heknon I agree that it's not all looks but money and social status also matter a lot more than "personality". Personality barely matters.
Even though I knew about this things for a long time, this video still gave ma a lot of anxiety and depression.
Same
Let's acknowledge the obvious flaw in this study. A line of text is no substitute for knowing someone. I.e. concluding that looks is the most important/only factor in attraction because of the fact that the women chose the more attractive faces on a picture despite a line of text that suggests poor character is a flawed conclusion.
To actually study the effect that charm and charisma has on perceived attractiveness would be insanely difficult as those traits are difficult to quantify.
True true
I lack looks,money and personality
I have mental illness too
ovER
You smell right to someone, guaranteed. "One of these steroidal compounds, androstadienone, is present at much higher concentrations in male sweat and can be detected by women, albeit with wide variation in sensitivity. Upper-lip application of a pharmacological dose of androstadienonein women results in improved mood and heightened focus - particularly to capture emotional information. A positive mood is known to facilitate women’s sexual response, and increased focus improves sexual satisfaction. Indeed, some studies showed a beneficial effect of androstadienone on sexual desire and arousal. However, these effects were dependent on the context of the experiment, for example, on the presence of a male attendant. Pheromones may also play a role in mate selection which is “disassortative” regarding the human leukocyte antigen (HLA)-genotype. Preliminary evidence suggests that exposure to androstadienone in women promotes attractiveness ratings of potential mates. In conclusion, some data indicate that 16-androstene pheromones, in particular androstadienone, play a beneficial role in women’s mood, focus and sexual response, and perhaps also in mate selection."
I'm asexual and extremely sex repulsed, and I have some thoughts.
I do have a boyfriend, and given that he's a chubby, fairly scruffy man, he's not exactly conventionally attractive. But I still find him cute in his own way, because he's just got such a sweet personality. He's kind and he listens to me and I feel happy and safe around him. He also makes me laugh and we have alot in common in terms of interests.
Perhaps in the absence of physical attraction, such as in my case, other factors really do make more of a difference. Also, to be perfectly clear, I am a man, and am very willing to assume that I am simply outside of the norm.
You are not asexual because you don't have the ability to replicate identical copies of genetic material to "daughter" cells.
@@brandonbriseno9810 That's not what that means in that context and you know it. I am pretty sure my lack of sexual attraction to anything is in fact just that.
Omg cool! I'm a demi-sexual to which I believe has a separate spectrum than asexuality (despite these groups sometimes intertwining due to a general lack of sexual attraction). Like a lot of demis like me have seen so many different experiences on how other demis feel and experience attraction and it's really cool! I don't really see myself as ace (even tho some people group me in with aces), but I just wanted to say that I relate to what you're saying (as a person who under normal circumstances does not feel seggsual attraction) and that I'm proud of you
@@queenofdensity2858 I appreciate it, thank you.
Maybe your attraction was the result of the mirror theory
Hey Qoves, what's you opinion on rebound relationships? 'Dating coaches' associate a lot of psychology with it (finding somebody similar to the ex or complete opposite etc.) but to me it looks pretty simple. When somebody is rebounding they lower the physical standards to quickly find somebody. After they realize and catch up with reality, they no longer find them attractive and start regreting their decision to date down?
So basically, pretty privilege but make it ✨scientific✨
Can you do a video about "arranged marriages" and its impact on evolution and society because some of the time physical attractiveness is not the main criteria for arranged marriages.
I'd be interested in this as well. The ability to create and sustain wealth may have some genetic component (conscientiousness or caution vs risk-taking).
i would like to know too, cos ik im gonna get an arranged marriage and im scared
@@krspykreme5951 My Mom was in a sorta arranged marriage, basically my grandparents really liked my Dad and wanted them to marry. They met each other my Mom wasn't keen but he was actually very handsome they married over 50 years now.
@@starsatnightsparkle1318 damn that sounds nice
@@starsatnightsparkle1318 damn that sounds horrible
I would really love to hear a more in-depth look at how other factors like humour can override physical attractiveness. For example I find several comedians very attractive because of how consistently they can make me laugh even though they are conventionally unattractive. People will often be like, “How could you find them attractive?” And it’s difficult to explain other than saying that they’re funny.
humour is a complex one from evolutionary standpoint. to be funny you need to be smart, able to self reflect, and good jokes are usually not cruel or require "reading the room" (social skills). cognitive skills can be important in mate selection as seen in for example in crows or canaries or other birds that have no fixed time for song learning, as better cognitive skills may lead to better resource allocating skills. in long term mate selection (if you are female) finding a partner who is providing for and nurturing his offsprings (social skills -> cooperation) can be a better strategy than finding the perfect looking partner, who may end up ditching you or being less cooperative (looks are more pronounced in short term partner selection for both sexes). sometimes a bit of a trade off is needed to find the guy who is the perfect father and you end up with less of a "sexy" one (eg. less sexual dimorphic traits as in males this is due to more testosterone).
low key heavy blackpilled channel.
Are you interested in doing a video on the optimal amount of muscle for attractiveness for men?
Zack bia got Madison beer so im not too worried
The flying to Costa Rica to form a new family 😆🤣🤣!! I hope it doesn't happen to me 😔😆!!
Please please please make a video about Kim Taehyung from BTS and what exactly makes him so appealing
For me, apart from his face is his hair. Idk why, but i reaaaally like his wavy black hair and when he changed it...well yk. His eyes and eyebrows too. How he look at people...
Your family going after you because of "Beauty" 😆! For some reason is a little bit funny!
It's easier to fake a good personality than it is to fake being modelesque. Great channel thou I hope people support you on patreon.
Hi Qoves Studio, I just finished listening to your episode about Michael B Jordan and at the end of the video you made a statement that has me perplexed, so hopefully one day you can do a podcast on it.
At the end of the episode you made the comment that many women actually avoid very attractive man for a more average looking gentle looking man. The reason this caught my interest is because I've often heard women make the same comment about really gorgeous men, that they wouldn't date them. I had always assumed this was something women said because they were afraid the guy would have rejected them anyway so it's kind of a version of sour grapes from ASAP's fables.
But now after hearing your statement I don't know because if women are actively avoiding very hot guys then what is all the data that you have been showing that looks Matter?
I think it's not just fear of rejection, it's also fear of being cheated
The hot women with fragile egos when a little older wants the publics eyes on her and not the man. The women who want a happy family place more importance on personality and wealth or any stability
I think its that way with men too- i have experienced that phenomenon. However, I always look for a man to at least match my looks or exceed. Which has been extremely difficult to find
I've never seen a wealthy or famous man with an unattractive partner
why would they pick an unattractive partner?
They need good breeders
hugh jackman's wife feelin good rn, even jesse williams first wife smiling while reading this
@@watchalotadunks Hugh Jackman's wife is very attractive she's just 65 years old!
@@veganphilosopher1975 listen to yourself
Love the podcast! Keep up the great content!
It explains why Heidi Klum and Seal never lasted. Who do you think was the hotter 1 in that pairing ? She had the whole world male population as an option.
Why so few likes compared to your other videos? This one is just as important, if not much more.
Less views less likes
If we assume height to be an indicator of genetic quality, wouldn't that imply that inhabitants of countries with lower average height are (on average) genetically inferior? Seems odd.
Genetic indicator and genetic quality are not the same thing. Being in the average percentile of those around you is fine as a genetic indicator of mate quality. Otherwise people in lesser developed countries would struggle to find a partner and wait out for the taller people of developed countries to come to them. That isnt the case, everything is dependant on percentiles, not percentages.
@@QOVESStudio Thanks for clearing that up!
@@QOVESStudio They do that. Seamaxxing is when tall wyt men with unattractive faces date east asian woman.
@Heh Can you prove it's social and not biological. Accum's razor would suggest that the simplest reason would be because they have a superior phenotype. Of course that would be very politcally incorrect to admit.
Facial aesthetics have been highlighted more in your videos. Although some physical (body) characteristics are mentioned in sexual dimorphism, I wonder how breast size, waist line, hip size, waist to hip ratio, butt size affect physical attraction? Is there any significant effect or nothing significant? You often mention how men perceive women to like muscles (e.g. muscular biceps, abs) but apparently it's not generally true as you've said. You even mention how women like certain features like the hands etc. If you could discuss studies relating to physical (body) characteristics and its effects to physical attraction for both sexes, that would be awesome!
men care about your face long term than your body. Only short term relationship require your body to be a dime
@@NoName-mm6gh I don't think so. I've read studies of which men judge to be more important, body or face, and it's bodies.
@@notaclue822 yup. They notice breasts quickly too. Why I cover my chest. Lol.
Are women attracted to guys who are on the same attractiveness level as them or is they’re looks threshold slightly above their own attractiveness level? How does make up favor in to this? Do they date men who are equal in attractiveness to how they look without makeup and vice versa?
Good question
Aren't women are generally attracted to money and power, with rich and powerful men often having trophy wives/mistresses/SOs?
@@cylon5741 no, he just said in the podcast that money and status does nothing.
@@cylon5741 nope, it's called 'using' men for their resources. Ask yourself a simple question - what is a woman sacrificing to be with you? If the answer is nothing or she is making you sacrifice your resources for her - the answer is simple - no attraction.
Good question Jordan. Another question is are men really equal in terms of attractiveness to women in general? How many balding men are there vs women? How many men have attractive traits in their bodies (broad shoulders/muscles) vs women (bewbs and arse). How many men take care of their skin vs women (can or can not include makeup in this)? How many men have a good fashion sense vs women? Height is the only area where I feel men are ahead of women .... is it really a wonder women obsess over height?
Thanks for posting the podcast on RUclips! Hope this becomes a recurring thing
Money is not a secondary thing that women look for in a men like you said in the video. It's been shown time and time again that even wealthy women go for a richer man than they. Sure physical attraction is important but if he's broke than it's a deal breaker for almost all women, where as if he's rich, as long as he's not an aberration, he's going to get his pick
Lol she will just simply cheat on rich unattractive guy........without him knowing.....while havin fun with her 6ft,attractive male.....🥱
Because there are a lot of richer men than them who are willing to date them. It's a niche and yes they are still secondary because these women already have dated attractive guys in the past. Rich guy comes 'second' after good looking guy.
Why is the opposite of rich broke? Is there no in between. Do you have to be Bezos or a peasant only? You same argument can be used for looks. "If he's good looking as long as he's not broke as f, he's going to get his pick"
No tbh even if he's super rich and a good man. It would be hard for us to be physically attacted even if we want to. If he doesn't feel the "standard" we might feel kinda grossed out. Being a little attractive and clean helps a lot.
Attractive men get the woman in bed the first day of meeting
Pretty priviledge is reeeaaal
I always watch your videos, your work is A++MAZING. I just have a small request, could you please add subtitles? I have big struggles to understand sometimes. Thank you so much for you and your channel and if you can't do it, is not an issue I will get better in english.
Can you make a video on the fact that we are born with an idea of beauty? I read a scientific paper about it
He's talked about that in his videos on "defining attraction"
Do you know what the looks threshold is? I've seen a study that women rate 80% as below average physically. If that's the case, do average men pass the looks threshold, but women still see them as unattractive? Obviously not every woman rates the exact same, but I feel like alot of women must be settling in looks even if you "pass" the threshold.
To me it's not enough to just pass the threshold if that means they still see you as unattractive, but will just give you a chance if you have money or something else to compensate with. You really want to pass the threshold of actually being physically attractive.
The truth is most people or below average including women men just have low standards that's it
Well natural selection? The 80 % who are ugly should be erased from the pool gene and the hot ones should reproduce. The average population should become more handsome by women being picky. Why produce ugly children?
The study your refering to is based on OkCupid data.
There are a few things to keep in mind-
1) There are 2 types of mating:- Short-term (casual relationships) and long-term (serious relationships)
2) the standards for the two types of mating are different:- looks are MUCH more important in short term mating than long term, mating where reliability and financial stability take lead
3) Women invest and risk more, particularly in short-term mating- one hook up can lead to 18-20 years of commitment, there's the risk of being abused, also slut shaming; THUS women avoid short term mating, and women that do go for short term mating have higher standards of looks than men.
4) SINCE men invest and risk less in a hook up, they may infact benefit more, they tend to have lower standards
5) In Long-term relationships, both sexes have more or less equal difficulty and standards
6) Online dating such as OKCupid is considered to primarily be associated with casual relationships, THUS the user base of such platforms is skewed towards men (as women avoid hook ups).
On OkCupid about 65% of their user base in male. On Tinder 75% is male.
7) BECAUSE there are lesser women looking for casual relationships and more men, such women get MORE options to choose from, and HENCE are raise their standards even higher
Really loved this episode 👌🏽
So what you're saying is beauty and the beast is a lie in the real world
unless the women is into furry stuff, then yes.
The beast was a wealthy, tall, muscly protector, so maybe not
@@QOVESStudio can you make a video of what makes a perfect face
This guy is extremely smart
I agree that women are just as into looks as any man, but they have been conditioned to believe otherwise.
They say that Cleopatra wasn't beautiful, yet she captivated men. Can you explain that? Wallis Simpson, Yoko Ono?
She was very powerful also charming I assume
this is really fascinating
Your content is great,,,, based on real science, thank you
Please dedicate a video to discuss the impact of violent sports on faces like Brock Lesnar, Randy Orton, and others....Why is there an athletic and masculine face that looks like a good and cheerful hero like Woody Harrelson, and another face with the same traits looks scary (to me at least) like Brock Lesnar face?
Steroids and growth hormone (+being muscular in general) can really affect facial aesthetics over time. It makes faces look more "caveman"-like. @/ more plates more dates have talked about it
Can you please make a video on how some people just look like 'F-boys' ?
Stereotypes?
Lmaoo
It is the dark triad video
As Costarican , I confirm your suspicions 🤣
one of your best videos
An analyse on khabib's face please, because he almost looks like our ancestors , and yet he is hyper masculine
Your evo-psych explanation should also transfer to things like intelligence, and by extension humour, since they are about 40% heritable IIRC.
No choice but to do plastic surgery
So as a bisexual i have to be both attractive and have lots of wealth or else ill end up only attracting one gender, well thats just great.
The irony of this is that there are few things less attractive than a man that would obsess enough about his appearance to listen to a podcast like this.
You’re listening to it
I'm aware of that. Self obsessed female here clearly.
@@Charlotte-cp7kf gang 🤝
nahh ... you wouldn't care if Timothee Chalamet was watching this.
A man who already has the right genetics won't find this video because of said genetics. Why would an attractive man need to look at this video?
The problem is people will looksmax faking the genetic quality to potential mates. Then when the children are born you wonder why they are unattractive. Because your partner had jaw surgery, cheek implants, leg lengthening surgery. I am against looksmaxxing when you cross the line from maximising genetic potential to faking genetic quality.
I know he's been spitting fire throughout the entire video but 29:12 😂 yeah buddy, try with someone else
PUAHate already told me about this.
This so grimly reminds me of how incels see and talk about the world, and that just killed the joy i had whilst watching ur videos. It just seems like a lookout at life like that only cultivates misery and conformism, which is well, not the nicest way to live
Not to sound rude, but life simply is not that simple
I just canmot longer consume media like this if i want to keep my mind healthy
Understandable! Take a break and come back later, if ever, you decide. Sometimes the content has to be played up for the camera, and its impossible to cover all of the nuances that make real life slightly different to a closed system lab test, so its not all doom and gloom. Especially if your social experiences say otherwise.
I tired to escape the truth for a long time but ultimately its still true.
Its freeing to just accept it and realise that looks are a massive factor, not just in dating but in all aspects of life.
Maybe its just because I am ugly and so I am forced to see this side of humanity either way... ?
Lol even incels got the blame even the video itself has nothing to do with it
@@fish1389 many such cases
@@fish1389 they hate us so much
There is also many couples who keep that attraction.
i mean that explains everything...
ZIP ZOOM BABBITY BOOM
RUclips pickup artists will say otherwise 😏🥴 🤦♂️ lmao rip
Zip zoom bopity boom
Could you do a video on actor Michael Eally and or twitch streamer Sykkuno i feel like they dont get talked about enough.
Hi Qoves
Beautiful people have a moral duty to donate eggs and sperm to increase the overall fitness of humanity.
LMAO
For the algorithm :)
31:50
Usually the info in your videos is bang on but your off on afew points here-mainly that women are just as looks oriented as men and have a hard threshold for looks. If you walk down any street you'll see that's not true-I see hideous men with pretty women all the time! I've never seen a unattractive female with any man let alone an attractive one. And even when it comes to sex men might sleep with average women, but 'average' in men's opinion is actually pretty in objective reality. I've been slim with shiny hair, good teeth and clear skin - all good 'health markers' yet I've never been able to get any lol. If you haven't already you should do a vidoe on how important sexual dimorphism is in females bevause its probably more important to just look female than it is to have technically good features
truth
Gold diggers
Damn seems legit
Less attractive guys have an advantage to me of being more approachable , less full of themselves and less likely to cheat. Pair that with good handyman skills , a solid income and a heart of gold and I'm sold ! Plus even though six pack abs may look better a soft belly makes a nicer softer cushion :)
It's a myth. Average-looking guys and ugly guys tend to cheat more!!!
The less likely to cheat thing is a myth. Some unattractive men do it out of spite and resentment.
@@heatherchen5720 Lol saying this is going against common sense. The average guy has like no options where the attractive guy has hundreds of options
@@catmaxi2599 I'm less concerned about the pure motive than not getting sexually transmitted diseases . I'm a pragmatic one !
@@heatherchen5720 halo effect spotted ....🥱
Isn't it Halo and Horn Effect?
Never heard the 'horn' name before personally.
@@QOVESStudio I've heard it from an audiobook about cognitive biases. Mr. Qoves, can you do a video about cosmetic height surgery, please? :(
Are you sure? how do you explain Harvey weinstein that had no one but two georgious wives or the pete davidson effect?, i appreciate your work, hope yor doing well!
Beta bucks
Compromise
r u from zew zealand?
could you do a video on jeon jungkook?
Can someone explain to me why I barely attract to people physically 😂 Demisexual here
"bad sex" : hell yeah, if I'm going to be slut-shamed for sleeping around when I'm unhappily mated, might as well pick a good ride from the get go. 🤷🏻♀️
@Heh Cheating is bad regardless of gender.
do more
Great content, but you’re absolutely incorrect on one big aspect you briefly touched on…: Regardless of the era, the marriage union is always gravely necessary for a timeless reason. According to biology, psychology, every field of science and metric of a healthy society, marriage between a man and woman provides the greatest environment for child-rearing. A proper and healthy marriage fosters the healthiest of upbringings for a well-adjusted, effectual, and contributing member to society. Procreation and marriage are for the children, the continuation of our future as people.
Can you elaborate on this? Like how does a contract foster the healthiest unbringings for children?
(@@mademagic8430 ) Read the comment again, but this time slowly.
@@lavieenrose7925 a healthy marriage fosters good children, yes, but you can also be a healthy couple and foster good children. So I was wondering why *marriage* specifically, makes a difference, that's what I wanted an elaboration on
@@mademagic8430 it encourages stability
@@mademagic8430 When two people are married to each other they are meant to have more commitment which is important for raising healthy children. But when it is just a couple, most people would say that it’s less serious and less stable than a marriage is supposed to be, and therefore less beneficial for raising children.
How hot do people imagine Qoves studio being? I imagine him being bang average, 5 or 6/10
Don't really see how that's related to the validity of their findings?
@@yan7655 it wasn't meant to be a sleight against his credibility, i am just curious
1/10
11/10
Here is a radical idea. On a daily basis, your own beauty or attractiveness should not matter in the way that you obsess over it. People legit act and talk like being attractive to others makes a whole person. It is important but I just don't think we should organize our whole life to sexually attract others. Because you live in your body just the way it looks RIGHT NOW and changing it takes time.
If you are fat (which is considered unattractive), should the person reject their body because of unattractiveness ? That makes no fucking sense.
Looking healthy/presentable is important in society of course but to me it's different from wanting to be constantly sexually attractive as it is way more unequal and hard/expensive to do so or even almost impossible for some people .
How does one “reject their body”, exactly?