Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews: DEATHSTALKER
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- Опубликовано: 26 ноя 2024
- It's 80's sword & sorcery time with the 1983 Roger Corman Conan The Barbarian cash-in "Deathstalker"!
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I've been told pinning comments to videos helps with channel growth. Is it working yet?
Nah, clickbait thumbnails are the real key to success. :)
Hahaha, if Brandon breaks into mainstream, does that mean the movies he reviews become Mainstream too?
Your channel grows exponentially regardless. Will you ever do a _swords and sandals_ movie aka _peplum_ at some point?
no, not until you review....god(shot)
Man do a review of prey for death its amazing
My friends and I rented this when we were all 14. About 2 minutes in my mom walked into the livingroom and sat down. AND WATCHED THE REST OF IT WITH US. I have literally never been that mortified in my life. And she definitely enjoyed it more than the rest of us.
Cool mom! We rented Faces of Death when we were 15, my Mom was curious and regretted it lol.
Panic
Jeez, before or after the rape scene? You know, the first one.
@@jbard9892 Oh, WELL before. This is definitely the most uncomfortable I've ever been.
Your mom was kinky.
The best thing about this movie is that the guy's mother actually named him "Deathstalker."
Mr. and Mrs. Stalker knew the best career path for their son.
Putting some high expectations for him
"Mom, you're never gonna guess how many slain by my hand today!"
"Was it at least a dozen?"
"Well... technically 11 but--"
"Your Father was half your age and easily killed twice as many as you did before the sun even hit noon, you gotta step up your game."
"But dad would be only 7 and managed to kill that many brigands."
"More of a reason to exceed that number at the very least by nightfall, so run along and do us proud."
Their proud of their son for being a serial rapist
.must as well he wasn't noticibly homosexually curious at a young age, or they might have named him
_Cockdtalker_ instead.
Brandon Tenold
: It is really not that girls day!
(girl escapes)
Deathstalker: This isn't my day either!
Me: That was a really well setup joke!
Me, 4 years later: man.. this sure was a great comment!
@@K.PershingLOL
We did a whole "Barbarian Fantasy" movie night once, watching all the Deathstalker films, eating turkey legs, and quaffing ale.
That sounds like it should be a regular thing.
Next time count me in!
Just dont act like any one of the Deathstalkers or the cops will come.
I only saw the 3rd film via the MST3K version
That sounds like the greatest night of all time, I must make this a reality
So how is Deathstalker going to finally defeat our villain?
"Gimme."
"OK."
"That's for trying to warn me and save my life, F*CKER!" Best line ever, it should have been in the film itself
"Oh, I'm a rapist. I forgot." Got a good chuckle from me.
Man, the final season of "Game of Thrones" really introduced a lot of new characters!
The only problem is that most of the budget went into getting such new talent, which has made the practical effects a tad bit lesser than other seasons. But how cares about shit like that in a larger than life fantasy program.
Heh
I knew this season of Got was gonna be shit but this...
Andrew Gwilliam Deathstalker is way better than GOT season 8
Muh Favorite Thing! At least this has a satisfying ending
Born in 1985, grew up watching all of these fantasy movies. Absolute favourite genre, no matter how terrible the movies may be! :D
At least they tried to create a world instead of just being modern day but with swords and shields and bows and arrows.
And apparently Lana Clarkson's sword fight was important enough that they re-shot it for TV with the smallest bikini top ever
Roger Corman is the gift that keeps on giving for Brandon and his channel.
Ah, all that glorious Boris Vallejo cover art ... I wish at least one of those movie would have looked like those covers though...in terms of quality
I was shocked he didn't mention it.
I wish someone in Hollywood would have just manned up and given Boris Vallejo a pile of money and put him in charge of making a fantasy movie
@@arthas640 why? So they can be as stiff and lifeless as his art?
Yep that cover art really drew me in back in the day. In fact I just remembered this movie recently because I was never allowed to see it when I was a kid
Fun fact: The villain Munkar is played by the late Bernard Erhard, voice of Cy-Kill on the Go-Bots aka Transformers competitor in the 80's. Always nice to see a voice actor pop up in a live action work.
Lol Cy-kill thats incredible
80's metal dudes fighting to the death and lots of topless chicks. is this not what we would all do with UNLIMITED MAGIC POWER!?
Its what I'd do given the slightest bit of power. If you make me a regional manager for a restaurant chain I'll probably try to get a oiled up body builder and a few half naked women to hang around my office even if it isnt hygienic for a restaurant
@@arthas640 save money have them oil each other up on the fryers. the drip can be the house sauce.
I'll have my revenge and Deathstalker 2.
[laugh track]
[Seinfeld theme]
Best of the series. Not really saying much, but...you know.
@@k.l.graham5860 same
At least the second Deathstalker isn't a rapist jerkass like the first one.
CaptainMarvell92 Returns Well... that's debatable...
Sword swinging 80s cheese! blood, smut, and Cornball special effects, what's not to like?! Lol
Today's movies seem tame in terms of sexuality when compared to the 80's......
@I AM ALIVE !!!!!
Nah, it's more the fault of SJWs and Feminists who wanted equal exposure. Especially when it comes down to Men and Women.
Daniel Ramsey
Oh no!! Equal opportunity nudity, the horror!!!
@@alienboy1322
Hey, I'm not dogging them for that. I'm dogging them for not being satisfied with the results!
“Cocain is a hell of a drug”
I AM ALIVE !!!!! 80s were the decade of decadence
I'll agree, that is actually a genuinely creative villainous scheme, and justifies why he doesn't just kill the main character outright.
"That's for trying to warn me and save my life fucker." Hahaha! Oh I watch all of these videos just to hear Mark's occasional classic one-liners. He is damn good!
"man, I was hoping to kill, steal and rape today. That's like the barbarian trifecta". LOL I love the humour in these reviews.
Ah, Deathstalker!
Basically Conan the barbarian's more sleazy and more messed up cousin with cocaine fog!!!
That sounds more fun, add in some dinosaurs and cannibals and I'll watch all of it. And by dinosaurs I mean kaiju (and dinosaurs)
@@rcct44444
*SAME!!!*
@TheGreaterGood80 Conan was never that much of a dick in the Robert E. Howard stories.
Check out Conquest 1982
@@rcct44444 Yor the hunter from the future
I enjoyed the Deathstalker movies. RIP Lana Clarkson
Man it sucks she died she was hot
@@richardsanchez9190 It's almost tragic when all we remember of a fellow human being is her appearance. Then again, she really was very hot.
@@Arcaryon yeah what a loss
I hope the old guy who shot her rots in prison. That was no accident.
Just bought this on DVD today based on this review - thanks Brandon for improving my taste in movies!
14:55 "thanks for trying to warn me and save my life fucker" almost woke my gf up laughing
I'm glad this video popped up before the hurricane comes and knocks out the power. Then I'll have to live like a Deathstalker.
Good luck went through that bullshit in Fla last year.
Yeah, several people here in NC are cleaning out the shelves at all of the stores
A hurricane may hit where I am in a Day or Two.
Well if they order an evacuation .....don't Munkar around, get to safety
"Live like a Deathstalker" seems like a pretty good sales pitch for a line of energy drinks.
I burst out laughing when he just took the cup.
It took the Argentinian film industry nearly 20 years to recover from Roger Corman.
That cover art though. Truly beautiful.
Can't go wrong with Boris Vallejo
One of my guilty pleasure movies. Nice to watch while drinking.
Agreed, definitely a drinking while you watch movie!
9:42 Those boos at the Phil Specter joke really created a wall of sound!
Deathstalker is more true to the Conan stories than Conan. Lol. Still love Conan though. KROM!!!!!
Looking forward to seeing you do KRULL
Don't you think krull is a little too high brow?
the ultimate watching people walk fantasy movie.
OOOOHHHH! Krull would be so sweet. Do it!
Yeah, Krull would be great! But does he have the balls to do it?!
Krull is a great Sunday afternoon adventure fantasy movie, love it. And it has Liam Neeson in it, and only one movie didn't really got better despite Liam...looking at you, Phantom...
BEASTMASTER! A classic for sure.
Do it man, and Sorcerer was a favorite of mine too
I thought I was the only one that referred to the '80s as the golden age of fantasy...
Though as David Gordon Green put it, "I got in trouble with my parents as a kid sneaking down to watch these types of films, they would probably ground me for making ("Your Highness")." :)
I'd have figured you would have mentioned the fun fact that your Jean-Claude Van Damme look alike was actually Richard Brooker... Jason from Friday the 13th pt. 3. ✌️
Im a fan of the 80s barbarian movies like Deathstalker, Beast Master, Ator
The barbarian twins. Best cheese ever made.
12:53 You're right, it's a hardly visible wound... a Spector of a wound, if you will.
Yes I know, I'm going to hell.
I believe that's Richard Brooker who played Oghris. He was Jason in Friday the 13th 3!
12:00 I admire your being able to resist a Bruce-Kaitlyn Jenner joke.
Oghris looks like Mick Jagger and David Cassidy had a son.
I never remembered his name because we kept calling him midriff chainmail Chachi. Which I have to admit is longer to say, but also more fun.
so which one of Mick and David got polymorphed for that to happen then?
😆😆😆 Good one. He's also the one who played Jason in Friday the 13th part 3, and wore the hockey mask for the first time.
Thanks for uploading a video today. Just had a seizure earlier and your videos always put me in a better mood.
Hope you are feeling better
I hope you get better.
DO NOT WATCH CATWOMAN
If I'm not mistaken, this was originally supposed to be half of the double bill getting riffed on the upcoming MST3k 30th anniversary tour this fall, but they replaced it because Joel and company realized how much adult content this had, what with all the boobs and violence and general rape feel of everything. "Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell" is more goofy fun despite the ominous title.
That is correct! That's why they went with Deathstalker 3 in MST-the nude scenes could be cut out without changing the plot or making the film 10 minutes long.
I can’t believe there wasn’t a single “Masters of the Universe” joke, nor that there weren’t any Thor jokes when Deathstalker summoned his sword to his hand.
To be fair, He-Man and Thor are heroes. Stalker is a rapist... Or attempted one at least.
I hope Brandon Tenold does more Sword & Sorcery films reviews. Nash really dropped the ball on that genre.
Yes, he should do some italian sword and sorcery flicks, there are quite a few. I have them on dvd
I actually love this series, with Deathstalker 2 probably being my favorite. If you count all the movies where footage from the original Deathstalker has been recycled into them, there is at least a ten movie DS cinematic universe.
I remember these sword and sorcery movies being on USA Up all night back in the day.
Ahh, yeah!What a decade it was for a kid like me watching this kind of a movie (as with all those sword and sorcery movies) in the '80s.
Damn! Shots of this movie were used in another Corman movie, Wizards of the Lost Kingdom, riffed by the recent MST3K era!
I didn't know WHAT the hell to make of this as a kid. And I kind of didn't care. It was like watching Van Halen try to make Conan the Barbarian.
That's an interesting way of putting it.
Man I hope you get to “The Sword and The Sorcerer”.
14:54 " That's for trying to warn me and save my life f**er !" LMFAO.
As a sword&sorcery author I approve of this upload.
Rodger Corman the cheaper solution to every big budget franchise but the best one by far
Wait, how did Lana Clarkson's character, who's based on this review seemed to be there to bone not-Conan and Die get an entire spinoff movie dedicated to her?
Two words: Lana Clarkson
You know, I'm probably thinking someone is going to request him to review the sequels.
I absolutely love Deathstalker 2. I love the character of Reena the Seer.
Poor girl can't act, but she's so damned adorable.
I remember that my girlfriend and I rented Deathstalker 2 one night for one of our, "Bad Movie Nights". After about 20 minutes, we were ready to murder the female lead because she had that annoying voice and she just kept repeating the line, "Stalker???".... "Stalker????".... "Stalker????" throughout the whole damn movie. We wanted to put a pillow over her face after a while and muffle her voice. "Stalker??? Stalker???? Stalker??? Stalker??? Stalker??? Stalker??? Stalker??? Stalker??? Stalker??? Stalker??? Stalker!!!! Stalker!!!! Stalker???? Stalker!!!!" This was her dialog in her little... annoying voice... through the whole.. damn.. movie. No one wrote anything else for her to say.
deathstalker 2 is a classic
It's a classic.. but you really have to have a strong will to be able to handle hearing "Stalker!" said over and over again in a really annoying voice. Everything else is fine, pulp cheese! You would think that someone would have, I don't know.. written something more for her to say throughout the film.
BlackburnBigdragon Zero can you hear me?
9:58-10:04 Seriously, did the guys who toss the poor woman in the mud pit realize that she might break her head when it hit the solid concrete barrier at that time?
I was seriously hoping for a Grey Skull joke here! 😂
luv deathstalker! the sequal was fun too! got them on a 4 movie set along with barbarian queen & the sword and the sorceress. all great b-movies
Can you please do a review of Dinosaurus! (1960) Konga (1961) The Valley Of Gwangi (1969) Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983) or The Unnamable 2 (1993)?
I seriously doubt Disney will let him get away with Something Wicked This Way Comes
What about Message from Space (1978)?
Well Maybe
Seconding Dinosaurus, Konga, and Gwangi!
80's cinematic creativity seemed to know no boundaries
This channel could be called "Crap I watched back in the 80's when I went to the video rental shop stoned"
Kind of sad you didn't mention that Deathstalker is the one to point "What does an immortal wizard need an heir for?"
How else will he enjoy his retirement?
This channel is funny as hell. U should do somthng like a Mystery Science Theater show. Your jokes are funny and your knowledge of cinema is extensive. I'd watch it.
I think Monkar is Bernard Erhard, the voice of Cy-Kill from Challenge of the Gobots, which also became an animated movie trying to capitalize on Transformers the movie just like the toys trying to capitalize on Hasbro's toy.
I remember talking about this film with a couple of lads at school during the 80s, and asking if they'd seen this cos it was available at dirty Bob's on VHS. I was told it was shit: nothing but barbarians fighting and lots of women with their tits out. I absolutely agree except with the shit part.
down with censors!
NEVER
@I AM ALIVE !!!!! They Shall Stay Strong
@@1701spacecadet Ahem... maybe you didn't realize, but censor now is fully leftist agenda. Christian power is dieing.
A new Brandon video, just what I need to make my day even better 🙏🏽
LMAO Where would we be without Roger Corman. ( and Brandon Tenold, of course ! )
for some reason, when deathstalker lift his sword, I keep hear ''' I HAVE THE POWAAAAAA!''
Hey Brandon... If I'm not mistaken, the guy that played Ogris also played Jason Voorhees in Friday the 13th part 3.
I recently became a fan of your show and I enjoy it greatly. Please keep up the huge work
3 powers? What is this? Legend of Zelda?
@Skye Reynolds
*ASSEMBLE THE TRI-FORCE!!!!!*
16:29
Never heard of beheading someone by slicing them in the jaw.
I saw this movie ages ago and could never remember the title. Now I have to watch it again.
Wasn’t there a Deathstalker movie on MST3K?
Think it was “Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell”
Yes. Different actor for the lead, but it's the same character, pretty obviously.
It was indeed. The actor who plays Deathstalker may be one of the most loathed protagonists in MST3k history.
"Never before has an entire medieval city thrown up in unison!"
So apparently Deathstalker has ALWAYS been a douchebag
Deathstalker 3 is more heroic than this.
"What are we?!" "BATS!" "What do we want?" "INSECTS!" "When do we want them?" "NOW! Squeek! Squeek! Squeek!" XD
Feels like this movie is missing the Rape Horn from Troll 4 (I think it is).
Ha! I knew it was missing something!
7:04, that clip is in the beginning montage of Wizards of the Lost Kingdom. I have to do some research now. Are the two series connected? Was it just stock footage? I'm intrigued!
Stock footage. Roger Corman reused footage from Sorceress and Deathstalker to pad out Wizards of the Lost Kingdom. The guy does not do "budget"
@@Tareltonlives Haha, I've learned that since I posted this comment. It's wild. I know it's to cut corners but inadvertently Roger Corman made a cinematic universe!
“Heroes and fools,are the same thing “
Fun fact: Swords, shields, axes, shovels and picks to dig trenches, saddles and shoes for your mounts and anything involved in the profession of blacksmithing-
It's all technology.
2:27 "Damn, I was aiming at the girl!"
Okay, this movie seemed to have contained a very weird transgender scene. And I say that as a trans person.
I definitely recognize some of these shots from “Wizards of the Lost Kingdom”. Good to know they had nothing to do with each other, especially since they were supposed to be flashback scenes.
Sorceress too
Have you done 'The Sword & the Sorcerer'? ..it's pretty good/bad
The heart ripping scene is AWESOME!
It's on Rifftrax. It's one of the worst things ever
A friend linked me to a random video of yours, and Now I have binge watched as much as possible.
I really dig your style, very reminiscent of The Cinema Snob - I also enjoy the movies you cover.
you earned a sub ^^b
Brandon, I don't know if anyone else brought this up but Ohgris(?) was played by the late, great Richard Brooker: Jason in Friday the 13th, Part 3. Hell of nice guy according to all the fans who met him.
I have a soft spot for this series. It's got everything I want in low end campy 80's fantasy. Well, this and the Ator series.
He should review Fire and Ice
Your artist deserves major props.
If it's good enough for The Bard then it's good enough for me.
"I don't know if this is the wizzard's throne-room or the set of an 80's metal music video" Since when can't it be both? Serious question.
and should definitely review the sequel Death Stalker 2
Funny enough "Deathstalker 2" was the first one I saw and I really liked it, mainly because of the graveyard/zombie scene. :)
Good to see where Jason Vorhees got his training
DH 4321 I don’t get it........
Oghris was played by Richard Brooker who is Jason in Part III
Filmed in Argentina? That's an iron-clad GUARANTEE of quality!
@10:33: "I'm the guy with a snake on my face!"
Awesome video as always! Im going to try DeathStalker
This truly a full con fantasy movie: swords and mágico fantasy, heavy metal videoclip fantasy, mud wrestling fantasy, rape fantasy and sex change fantasy it truly has it all
11:27 That was exactly M. Bison's plan in Street Fighter 2!