Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews: DEATHSTALKER
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- Опубликовано: 9 сен 2018
- It's 80's sword & sorcery time with the 1983 Roger Corman Conan The Barbarian cash-in "Deathstalker"!
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I've been told pinning comments to videos helps with channel growth. Is it working yet?
Nah, clickbait thumbnails are the real key to success. :)
Hahaha, if Brandon breaks into mainstream, does that mean the movies he reviews become Mainstream too?
Your channel grows exponentially regardless. Will you ever do a _swords and sandals_ movie aka _peplum_ at some point?
no, not until you review....god(shot)
Man do a review of prey for death its amazing
My friends and I rented this when we were all 14. About 2 minutes in my mom walked into the livingroom and sat down. AND WATCHED THE REST OF IT WITH US. I have literally never been that mortified in my life. And she definitely enjoyed it more than the rest of us.
Cool mom! We rented Faces of Death when we were 15, my Mom was curious and regretted it lol.
Panic
Jeez, before or after the rape scene? You know, the first one.
@@jbard9892 Oh, WELL before. This is definitely the most uncomfortable I've ever been.
Your mom was kinky.
The best thing about this movie is that the guy's mother actually named him "Deathstalker."
Mr. and Mrs. Stalker knew the best career path for their son.
Putting some high expectations for him
"Mom, you're never gonna guess how many slain by my hand today!"
"Was it at least a dozen?"
"Well... technically 11 but--"
"Your Father was half your age and easily killed twice as many as you did before the sun even hit noon, you gotta step up your game."
"But dad would be only 7 and managed to kill that many brigands."
"More of a reason to exceed that number at the very least by nightfall, so run along and do us proud."
Their proud of their son for being a serial rapist
.must as well he wasn't noticibly homosexually curious at a young age, or they might have named him
_Cockdtalker_ instead.
Brandon Tenold
: It is really not that girls day!
(girl escapes)
Deathstalker: This isn't my day either!
Me: That was a really well setup joke!
Me, 4 years later: man.. this sure was a great comment!
@@K.PershingLOL
So how is Deathstalker going to finally defeat our villain?
"Gimme."
"OK."
"Oh, I'm a rapist. I forgot." Got a good chuckle from me.
"That's for trying to warn me and save my life, F*CKER!" Best line ever, it should have been in the film itself
We did a whole "Barbarian Fantasy" movie night once, watching all the Deathstalker films, eating turkey legs, and quaffing ale.
That sounds like it should be a regular thing.
Next time count me in!
Just dont act like any one of the Deathstalkers or the cops will come.
I only saw the 3rd film via the MST3K version
That sounds like the greatest night of all time, I must make this a reality
And apparently Lana Clarkson's sword fight was important enough that they re-shot it for TV with the smallest bikini top ever
Roger Corman is the gift that keeps on giving for Brandon and his channel.
Today's movies seem tame in terms of sexuality when compared to the 80's......
@I AM ALIVE !!!!!
Nah, it's more the fault of SJWs and Feminists who wanted equal exposure. Especially when it comes down to Men and Women.
Daniel Ramsey
Oh no!! Equal opportunity nudity, the horror!!!
@@alienboy1322
Hey, I'm not dogging them for that. I'm dogging them for not being satisfied with the results!
“Cocain is a hell of a drug”
I AM ALIVE !!!!! 80s were the decade of decadence
I'll have my revenge and Deathstalker 2.
[laugh track]
[Seinfeld theme]
Best of the series. Not really saying much, but...you know.
@@k.l.graham5860 same
At least the second Deathstalker isn't a rapist jerkass like the first one.
CaptainMarvell92 Returns Well... that's debatable...
Born in 1985, grew up watching all of these fantasy movies. Absolute favourite genre, no matter how terrible the movies may be! :D
At least they tried to create a world instead of just being modern day but with swords and shields and bows and arrows.
Man, the final season of "Game of Thrones" really introduced a lot of new characters!
The only problem is that most of the budget went into getting such new talent, which has made the practical effects a tad bit lesser than other seasons. But how cares about shit like that in a larger than life fantasy program.
Heh
I knew this season of Got was gonna be shit but this...
Andrew Gwilliam Deathstalker is way better than GOT season 8
Muh Favorite Thing! At least this has a satisfying ending
"man, I was hoping to kill, steal and rape today. That's like the barbarian trifecta". LOL I love the humour in these reviews.
Fun fact: The villain Munkar is played by the late Bernard Erhard, voice of Cy-Kill on the Go-Bots aka Transformers competitor in the 80's. Always nice to see a voice actor pop up in a live action work.
Lol Cy-kill thats incredible
14:55 "thanks for trying to warn me and save my life fucker" almost woke my gf up laughing
I burst out laughing when he just took the cup.
"That's for trying to warn me and save my life fucker." Hahaha! Oh I watch all of these videos just to hear Mark's occasional classic one-liners. He is damn good!
I'll agree, that is actually a genuinely creative villainous scheme, and justifies why he doesn't just kill the main character outright.
80's metal dudes fighting to the death and lots of topless chicks. is this not what we would all do with UNLIMITED MAGIC POWER!?
Its what I'd do given the slightest bit of power. If you make me a regional manager for a restaurant chain I'll probably try to get a oiled up body builder and a few half naked women to hang around my office even if it isnt hygienic for a restaurant
@@arthas640 save money have them oil each other up on the fryers. the drip can be the house sauce.
It took the Argentinian film industry nearly 20 years to recover from Roger Corman.
Ah, Deathstalker!
Basically Conan the barbarian's more sleazy and more messed up cousin with cocaine fog!!!
That sounds more fun, add in some dinosaurs and cannibals and I'll watch all of it. And by dinosaurs I mean kaiju (and dinosaurs)
@@rcct44444
*SAME!!!*
@TheGreaterGood80 Conan was never that much of a dick in the Robert E. Howard stories.
Check out Conquest 1982
@@rcct44444 Yor the hunter from the future
Sword swinging 80s cheese! blood, smut, and Cornball special effects, what's not to like?! Lol
Just bought this on DVD today based on this review - thanks Brandon for improving my taste in movies!
9:42 Those boos at the Phil Specter joke really created a wall of sound!
I can’t believe there wasn’t a single “Masters of the Universe” joke, nor that there weren’t any Thor jokes when Deathstalker summoned his sword to his hand.
To be fair, He-Man and Thor are heroes. Stalker is a rapist... Or attempted one at least.
80's cinematic creativity seemed to know no boundaries
That cover art though. Truly beautiful.
Can't go wrong with Boris Vallejo
I enjoyed the Deathstalker movies. RIP Lana Clarkson
Man it sucks she died she was hot
@@richardsanchez9190 It's almost tragic when all we remember of a fellow human being is her appearance. Then again, she really was very hot.
@@Arcaryon yeah what a loss
I hope the old guy who shot her rots in prison. That was no accident.
One of my guilty pleasure movies. Nice to watch while drinking.
Agreed, definitely a drinking while you watch movie!
9:58-10:04 Seriously, did the guys who toss the poor woman in the mud pit realize that she might break her head when it hit the solid concrete barrier at that time?
12:00 I admire your being able to resist a Bruce-Kaitlyn Jenner joke.
Ah, all that glorious Boris Vallejo cover art ... I wish at least one of those movie would have looked like those covers though...in terms of quality
I was shocked he didn't mention it.
I wish someone in Hollywood would have just manned up and given Boris Vallejo a pile of money and put him in charge of making a fantasy movie
@@arthas640 why? So they can be as stiff and lifeless as his art?
Yep that cover art really drew me in back in the day. In fact I just remembered this movie recently because I was never allowed to see it when I was a kid
I'm glad this video popped up before the hurricane comes and knocks out the power. Then I'll have to live like a Deathstalker.
Good luck went through that bullshit in Fla last year.
Yeah, several people here in NC are cleaning out the shelves at all of the stores
A hurricane may hit where I am in a Day or Two.
Well if they order an evacuation .....don't Munkar around, get to safety
"Live like a Deathstalker" seems like a pretty good sales pitch for a line of energy drinks.
BEASTMASTER! A classic for sure.
Do it man, and Sorcerer was a favorite of mine too
This channel could be called "Crap I watched back in the 80's when I went to the video rental shop stoned"
12:53 You're right, it's a hardly visible wound... a Spector of a wound, if you will.
Yes I know, I'm going to hell.
Looking forward to seeing you do KRULL
Don't you think krull is a little too high brow?
the ultimate watching people walk fantasy movie.
OOOOHHHH! Krull would be so sweet. Do it!
Yeah, Krull would be great! But does he have the balls to do it?!
Krull is a great Sunday afternoon adventure fantasy movie, love it. And it has Liam Neeson in it, and only one movie didn't really got better despite Liam...looking at you, Phantom...
Oghris looks like Mick Jagger and David Cassidy had a son.
I never remembered his name because we kept calling him midriff chainmail Chachi. Which I have to admit is longer to say, but also more fun.
so which one of Mick and David got polymorphed for that to happen then?
😆😆😆 Good one. He's also the one who played Jason in Friday the 13th part 3, and wore the hockey mask for the first time.
I was seriously hoping for a Grey Skull joke here! 😂
I thought I was the only one that referred to the '80s as the golden age of fantasy...
Though as David Gordon Green put it, "I got in trouble with my parents as a kid sneaking down to watch these types of films, they would probably ground me for making ("Your Highness")." :)
I remember these sword and sorcery movies being on USA Up all night back in the day.
As a sword&sorcery author I approve of this upload.
Im a fan of the 80s barbarian movies like Deathstalker, Beast Master, Ator
The barbarian twins. Best cheese ever made.
Deathstalker is more true to the Conan stories than Conan. Lol. Still love Conan though. KROM!!!!!
I'd have figured you would have mentioned the fun fact that your Jean-Claude Van Damme look alike was actually Richard Brooker... Jason from Friday the 13th pt. 3. ✌️
If I'm not mistaken, this was originally supposed to be half of the double bill getting riffed on the upcoming MST3k 30th anniversary tour this fall, but they replaced it because Joel and company realized how much adult content this had, what with all the boobs and violence and general rape feel of everything. "Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell" is more goofy fun despite the ominous title.
That is correct! That's why they went with Deathstalker 3 in MST-the nude scenes could be cut out without changing the plot or making the film 10 minutes long.
I believe that's Richard Brooker who played Oghris. He was Jason in Friday the 13th 3!
Thanks for uploading a video today. Just had a seizure earlier and your videos always put me in a better mood.
Hope you are feeling better
I hope you get better.
To be fair, "can't be killed" doesn't mean you can't be captured, disabled, tortured, dismembered, or otherwise harmed. It just means none of that will kill you. Give someone that sword and trap them in a pool of boiling water. Being unable to die sounds pretty crappy then.
Kind of sad you didn't mention that Deathstalker is the one to point "What does an immortal wizard need an heir for?"
How else will he enjoy his retirement?
Ahh, yeah!What a decade it was for a kid like me watching this kind of a movie (as with all those sword and sorcery movies) in the '80s.
“Heroes and fools,are the same thing “
I actually love this series, with Deathstalker 2 probably being my favorite. If you count all the movies where footage from the original Deathstalker has been recycled into them, there is at least a ten movie DS cinematic universe.
Man I hope you get to “The Sword and The Sorcerer”.
Damn! Shots of this movie were used in another Corman movie, Wizards of the Lost Kingdom, riffed by the recent MST3K era!
Rodger Corman the cheaper solution to every big budget franchise but the best one by far
Fun fact: Swords, shields, axes, shovels and picks to dig trenches, saddles and shoes for your mounts and anything involved in the profession of blacksmithing-
It's all technology.
LMAO Where would we be without Roger Corman. ( and Brandon Tenold, of course ! )
I hope Brandon Tenold does more Sword & Sorcery films reviews. Nash really dropped the ball on that genre.
Yes, he should do some italian sword and sorcery flicks, there are quite a few. I have them on dvd
for some reason, when deathstalker lift his sword, I keep hear ''' I HAVE THE POWAAAAAA!''
"I don't know if this is the wizzard's throne-room or the set of an 80's metal music video" Since when can't it be both? Serious question.
luv deathstalker! the sequal was fun too! got them on a 4 movie set along with barbarian queen & the sword and the sorceress. all great b-movies
I remember that my girlfriend and I rented Deathstalker 2 one night for one of our, "Bad Movie Nights". After about 20 minutes, we were ready to murder the female lead because she had that annoying voice and she just kept repeating the line, "Stalker???".... "Stalker????".... "Stalker????" throughout the whole damn movie. We wanted to put a pillow over her face after a while and muffle her voice. "Stalker??? Stalker???? Stalker??? Stalker??? Stalker??? Stalker??? Stalker??? Stalker??? Stalker??? Stalker??? Stalker!!!! Stalker!!!! Stalker???? Stalker!!!!" This was her dialog in her little... annoying voice... through the whole.. damn.. movie. No one wrote anything else for her to say.
deathstalker 2 is a classic
It's a classic.. but you really have to have a strong will to be able to handle hearing "Stalker!" said over and over again in a really annoying voice. Everything else is fine, pulp cheese! You would think that someone would have, I don't know.. written something more for her to say throughout the film.
BlackburnBigdragon Zero can you hear me?
This channel is funny as hell. U should do somthng like a Mystery Science Theater show. Your jokes are funny and your knowledge of cinema is extensive. I'd watch it.
16:29
Never heard of beheading someone by slicing them in the jaw.
down with censors!
NEVER
@I AM ALIVE !!!!! They Shall Stay Strong
@@1701spacecadet Ahem... maybe you didn't realize, but censor now is fully leftist agenda. Christian power is dieing.
Wait, how did Lana Clarkson's character, who's based on this review seemed to be there to bone not-Conan and Die get an entire spinoff movie dedicated to her?
Two words: Lana Clarkson
@10:33: "I'm the guy with a snake on my face!"
I think Monkar is Bernard Erhard, the voice of Cy-Kill from Challenge of the Gobots, which also became an animated movie trying to capitalize on Transformers the movie just like the toys trying to capitalize on Hasbro's toy.
A new Brandon video, just what I need to make my day even better 🙏🏽
You know, I'm probably thinking someone is going to request him to review the sequels.
I saw this movie ages ago and could never remember the title. Now I have to watch it again.
That poor henchman nearly got touched by Deathstalker and chose the worst time to change back
When he brought up "if it didn't last 4 hours" I cracked up
and should definitely review the sequel Death Stalker 2
3 powers? What is this? Legend of Zelda?
@Skye Reynolds
*ASSEMBLE THE TRI-FORCE!!!!!*
I definitely recognize some of these shots from “Wizards of the Lost Kingdom”. Good to know they had nothing to do with each other, especially since they were supposed to be flashback scenes.
Sorceress too
Most Barbarians become kings after their victory.
Deathstalker spontaniously combusts.
MANLY.
Good to see where Jason Vorhees got his training
DH 4321 I don’t get it........
Oghris was played by Richard Brooker who is Jason in Part III
*it looks like we have a beef-cake Peter Weller...*
I recently became a fan of your show and I enjoy it greatly. Please keep up the huge work
I have a soft spot for this series. It's got everything I want in low end campy 80's fantasy. Well, this and the Ator series.
I remember talking about this film with a couple of lads at school during the 80s, and asking if they'd seen this cos it was available at dirty Bob's on VHS. I was told it was shit: nothing but barbarians fighting and lots of women with their tits out. I absolutely agree except with the shit part.
Brandon, I don't know if anyone else brought this up but Ohgris(?) was played by the late, great Richard Brooker: Jason in Friday the 13th, Part 3. Hell of nice guy according to all the fans who met him.
This truly a full con fantasy movie: swords and mágico fantasy, heavy metal videoclip fantasy, mud wrestling fantasy, rape fantasy and sex change fantasy it truly has it all
Filmed in Argentina? That's an iron-clad GUARANTEE of quality!
16:18
Sword of Omens, come to my hand!
If it's good enough for The Bard then it's good enough for me.
Holy shit, this is where TGTFs started?? Thanks a lot, Corman
Am I the only one that remembers seeing this movie in their public library? Never rented it but I distinctly remember that VHS cover sitting on a self. How did that get there you have to wonder. Did somebody donate it or did somebody from the library watch it and go “yeah this is what we need”? 😂
7:40 Get out of here Stalker!
Feels like this movie is missing the Rape Horn from Troll 4 (I think it is).
Ha! I knew it was missing something!
I bought Deathstalker on Video Laser Disc, the acting/story/fighting/make-up/FX all subpar, the cheesecake was primo, I must have reviewed Deathstalker at least 30 times, definitely Barbi Benton's best work. I give Deathstalker 2 thumbs up.
Rewatching this video now made me realize this Deathstalker looks exactly like all those “something as an 80s dark fantasy movie” ai videos.
Hey Brandon... If I'm not mistaken, the guy that played Ogris also played Jason Voorhees in Friday the 13th part 3.
I absolutely love Deathstalker 2. I love the character of Reena the Seer.
Poor girl can't act, but she's so damned adorable.
Witch: You can be the power!
Deathstalker: I HAVE THE POWER!!!
Awesome video as always! Im going to try DeathStalker