Sweet girl you have such an amazing way of communicating and many of us are drawn to you. We are in this walk together. Jensen has been gifted with you as his mom and he will be doing great things in his life.
Oh man! 🥰 thank you so much. No one is ever alone and that’s the goal to make sure everyone is always aware of that. Thank you for the positive words and love 💗
I am the mother of a child with an extremely rare disorder. He is ventilator dependent for the rest of his life, I've grieved, it's been 5 years and I'm still incredibly overwhelmed and stressed and alone. I'm traumatized by my experience, I'm literally a paid caregiver to my child, I try and talk to people, but no one ever wants to listen or care. So I've have to learn on my own.
Oh I am so sorry. That is extremely difficult. Especially when you don’t feel supported. Though I’m living a different experience know you are never alone even though it may feel that way.
I have suffer from depression and anxiety my whole life. I remember feeling depressed as young as 3-4 years old. I didnt wanna be alive. I wanted to be a tree... or something else other than a person living life. I am now a mom of two, they are my whole world. And I still battle daily with my mental health. I used to feel so bad, so sad because they had to have a mom with mental illnesses. Now, I feel like i am a super mom :) Because even when im feeling so low... i try my hardest, i do my best to be the best mom for them. Its hard... its so hard.But you are also a super mom.thank you for this video, much love your way!
Thank you for sharing your story with me! You are incredible for being able to turn things around and how you look at life with kids and mental illness. Every day is different, but when you can find a way to flip perspective and end up on top that is true super powers. Your kids are lucky to have someone so vulnerable and strong to look up to!
Exactly. This is two years in. Compared to the first year it’s easier but still challenging. “Triggers” is such an accurate word. Sometimes you don’t even expect it to happen and boom there it is. Happy healthy vibes to yiy
I totally understand you. I am a mom to an 8th month old fully blind baby and I also consider myself a positive person, but yeah some days are harder than other. Social media definitely doesn't help.. eventhough I try not to compare... i do 😔 and it hurts. You are an awesome mom and JJ is the cutest!!
Thanks mama! The first year was probably the hardest. But some things get easier. It’s hard not to compare and only natural. Hang in there and know you’re not alone!
I have not ever had your experience, but I so feel for you. Your feelings are justified, every single one of them. I don’t see how you could not struggle. Jensen is a beautiful child. That does not make anything easy. You have made yourself perfectly and justifiably clear. I’m glad you’re in therapy and I hope your future brightens.
Thank you for those amazingly wonderful vibes. I’m so glad that I’m being heard and understood. This message alone makes me realize so happy because it’s exactly what I want to get across. Thanks for the love and encouragement 🥰
Omg everything you said its true!!!! For me its depressing when i remember this is forever, taking care of my son forever damn its the worst. The jealousy is real as well!! Just take it day by day 🙏
Wow this hit the nail on the head. I feel that thought of “this is forever” to my bones. Thank you for sharing. Always good to know that I’m not in this alone.
Yes, yes yes I’m so glad I found this because it’s exactly how I’m feeling. I have a four-year-old with Down Syndrome and it was an unexpected pregnancy late in life and it’s really changed our world.
It’s a wild roller coaster! But I think so much needs to be addressed in this world that’s typically kept quiet. I never want anyone to struggle alone or question if their feelings are valid. Hugs mama. You are doing great!
I'm glad you are willing to talk about the emotional tug of war that takes place. Work through it, gather strength for the next challenge. I'm glad to watch Jensen play and make a mess with toys just like kids do when having fun.
My 13 month old great-granddaughter is blind. She has septo-optic dysplasia that might have shown up at 20 weeks but no one caught it. We didn't actually find out she was blind until about 4 months. I will be forever grateful that they did miss it because it wouldn't have changed the outcome but it would have affected the pregnancy and joy of her birth and very early months. I understand that when you find out right after birth, you were robbed of that joy and the surgery robbed you of that early bonding. I totally get your jealousy, we all struggle with it when we see all the other babies and children who take that sight and other health for granted. I can also understand that after all your initial concerns and coping with all the medical and emotional aspects, you get to the point where it settles into every day life and your system has been overtaxed already. To me it can be harder as the baby gets older and the other children are doing more and more while we all feel stuck and left behind. I babysit three days a week and my daughter, her grandmother has her quite a bit. That gives my granddaughter a huge break and we all share the responsibilities of her every day life. I know your mom has been wonderful too. I am glad that you're getting help and since I've been watching Jensen I can see the progress that he's made and that can be directly attributed to you and your hard work with him. Try and find a hobby that totally distracts you and make some real time for yourself. We lie to ourselves when we think we can do everything and be fine. Prayers for you and your family!
Thank you for your love, support and prayers! I can tell you definitely get it. I just looked into the septa-optic dysplasia because I'm an ultrasound tech. From the images I've seen that should be something that would have been caught, but I suppose there are always other factors that can go into missing an anomaly. However, I'm glad that there is some joy in not finding out because the rest of pregnancy would be spent worrying. So I totally understand that. We are definitely trying to find a good balance for self care as well as enjoying JJ without the thoughts of constantly working on how to keep him advancing. Thank you again for sharing. Best of luck to your family!
You do a great job sweetheart, clinical depression is serious stuff. I understand completely, my first child suffered a birth trauma injury. Although she is now 38 I still feel jealous of all those things I didn't get to experience and my contemporaries did. I love my daughter very much, but... You go girl, Jensen is a lovely little guy (that we see). Try to enjoy the boy you have. Grieve for the one that could have been without shame. Xxx
Oh man! That last sentence got me. I’ve never heard it worded that way and I love it. Thank you. No one prepares you for these things and even if they did you can’t comprehend until you personally go through it. Thank you so much for the love and encouragement 🥰
That was a big goal for me during these videos. Definitely hard to put yourself out there for family and friends to see, but the reward is so worth it. Never want anyone to feel like they are battling alone!
Jill, I wish there were words to say how wonderful of a mother you are to Jensen! I know that I would feel the exact same as you do, if I were in your position. Your honesty is key in helping others understand your struggles. Just remember all of your strengths too! You and Josh are slaying this parental thing, especially under your circumstances. BIG HUGS to you, keep on keeping on, and kiss that little sweet adorable face for me.
Thank you SO much Kelly! It can be challenging to be vulnerable on social media and or feel like you’re only portraying yourself one way. So I try to stay true to showing the full journey. Highs and lows. Thank you for the love and encouragement and I can certainly give JJ an extra cuddle!
Thank you so much from the bottom of my ❤ for sharing your experience. I have been struggling with so many feelings that you talked about . Just to hear someone else speaking about them out loud. Helped me so much. Big ❤ to you and your little man. Xxx
Although I don’t wish those feelings on anyone I’m so glad you reached out. Your post is exactly why I started and why I try to be transparent because I want others to not feel alone and know that they can share their feelings too. Hugs to you!
We have a grandson who was born without eyes. I feel you Jill! Put Jensen down for a minute, Hug your mom, just the way you look at Jensen, she still looks at you! My daughter lives in Texas, we live in Nj, if I could hug her every day and take her every ounce of pain I totally would.
I’m sorry for the journey that your grandson and daughter are going through but supportive family makes a world of difference. Thank you for your kindness and I make sure to hug my mom every day I see her. I can definitely tell you understand our position. Happy healthy vibes to you and your family
This makes me want to address this type of video again since it’s been a few years. Lots of hugs mama. Your feelings are valid and justified. You have your hands full and I’m sure your cup is empty. But you are doing wonderful things and doing a great job.
I have Major Depressive Disorder wasn't formally diagnosed till I was 41. My father also had it. M DD doesn't define me either. I am a very faceted person! 😆 Thank you for sharing this information. I love Jensen! He has a great spirit and fantastic personality and watching him makes me feel happy!🐿️😆❤️❤️❤️🦮🦮👍👍❤️
Thank you for your kind words. I’m so glad that mental health is more openly talked about because it’s such a isolating feeling being depressed even with good support. Keep on keeping on 💪🏼
It’s okay to NOT be okay, you are human and all that your feeling is normal and understandable 💕don’t worry about what other people think/say about you, they are NOT in your shoes. You love your son and that’s what matters 💕 I’m sure your brother and sister-in-law can understand the way you feel 💕 it must be bittersweet for them to 💕 YOU ARE DOING GREAT AS THE MOTHER OF JENSEN AND THAT’S WHAT MATTERS 💕
Ah man. You are amazing. Thank you for your wonderful words. I try not to care what others may think and to a point I don’t but there is still part of me that stays weary. Thank you for ALL the love and encouragement 🥰
What am I supposed to do when I cannot go back to work and I have no income? I’m always denied bc I live in his father’s house who is vindictive and hateful towards me. He will not play a part in therapeutic behavioral and medical processes and often works against me. It’s been 9 yrs that I’ve been a caregiver 24 hours a day and sleep isn’t available for me. I’m hungry. I’m lonely. I’m simply dodging bullets and acting like every is okay for my son’s benefit. I have to push that away so my son doesn’t catch on to how sad I actually am. I’ve battled depression since my preteens and I know how to cope, but non of it does anything for me. I am stuck in a house day in and day out and I do not qualify for any services bc of his father’s income that I have NO ACCESS to. Families helping families is a bunch of malarkey-all they do is give me all the applications Ive already filled out year after year. I have become silent when my son is at school. Getting a job isn’t a choice bc he misses SO MANY days of school due to his medical conditions. He has a gtube and eating disorder and keeping up with his nutritional needs are a full time job. And there are another 9 diagnoses. We spend so much time at specialists and in the hospital that I keep an emergency bag packed and by the door for rushing to emergency care. It’s like I don’t exist to my “family”. And my heart is broken. I’m wearing clothes with holes, and I haven’t been able to tend to my personal care needs. Make up isn’t available, clothes, shoes, hairspray-unavailable. I look how I feel. Faking it til I make it is wearing thin. I never knew how much a person could be ignored until it was me.
I found your post while searching for ideas I haven’t thought of. There’s nothing out there for this situation. There is absolutely no where to turn to for assistance or just a helping hand. Unreal!
Oh. I am so sorry mama. It’s a rough road and I definitely don’t have the answers. I would be lost without the love and support from family. Is there anyway you can get in contact with a Counsler? Best of luck!
Please take care of yourself. Only continue YouTubing if it brings you positive feeling. You already have so many responsibilities. Perhaps a pause for some months and see if you feel better and not so pressured. Maybe with that you realize you want to stop. You owe us nothing. You are great mom. Being clinically depressed is absolutely not something to be ashamed about. Nor is being jealous. It is understandable.
Thank you so much for your kind and amazing words. I do enjoy YouTubing more so I enjoy being here to help others whether that be to help special needs parents or talking about depression. I have finally found peace in not getting videos out consistently and going at a pace that is do able for my family and our needs at the time. Thanks again for your amazing message. It went a long way for me. 🥰
Don't need to justify how you feel. Being a parent of a child with special needs is the worst period. #ISaidWhatISaid. Unless they are coming to your home to offer respite people need to STFU 🤷🏾♀️
💪🏼 love this. I am the worst and think about all the different angles of how I feel and don’t want things interpreted the “wrong way.” Thanks for being authentic and inspiring!
He still can’t walk. There is hope that he will be able to walk by the age of three which means another year via our physical therapists experience with an educational guess. Thanks for the question.
![CHECKING MYSELF INTO A MENTAL HOSPITAL: The Process of Going to the ER for SU!CIDAL THOUGHTS [CC]](/img/1.gif)
Sweet girl you have such an amazing way of communicating and many of us are drawn to you. We are in this walk together. Jensen has been gifted with you as his mom and he will be doing great things in his life.
Oh man! 🥰 thank you so much. No one is ever alone and that’s the goal to make sure everyone is always aware of that. Thank you for the positive words and love 💗
I am the mother of a child with an extremely rare disorder.
He is ventilator dependent for the rest of his life, I've grieved, it's been 5 years and I'm still incredibly overwhelmed and stressed and alone. I'm traumatized by my experience, I'm literally a paid caregiver to my child, I try and talk to people, but no one ever wants to listen or care. So I've have to learn on my own.
Oh I am so sorry. That is extremely difficult. Especially when you don’t feel supported. Though I’m living a different experience know you are never alone even though it may feel that way.
You are not alone. Hugs mama.
@@AutismandTouretteSyndrome Thank you 💕
@@LifewithNorrieDisease Definitely not. So happy I found your channel.
@@tulipw8693 oh all the love and hugs to you mama! Always here for a chat!
I have suffer from depression and anxiety my whole life. I remember feeling depressed as young as 3-4 years old. I didnt wanna be alive. I wanted to be a tree... or something else other than a person living life. I am now a mom of two, they are my whole world. And I still battle daily with my mental health. I used to feel so bad, so sad because they had to have a mom with mental illnesses. Now, I feel like i am a super mom :) Because even when im feeling so low... i try my hardest, i do my best to be the best mom for them. Its hard... its so hard.But you are also a super mom.thank you for this video, much love your way!
Thank you for sharing your story with me! You are incredible for being able to turn things around and how you look at life with kids and mental illness. Every day is different, but when you can find a way to flip perspective and end up on top that is true super powers. Your kids are lucky to have someone so vulnerable and strong to look up to!
100% get it and agree, it’s soo painful to go through. It’s better in the future but there’s still certain things that really “trigger” me.
Exactly. This is two years in. Compared to the first year it’s easier but still challenging. “Triggers” is such an accurate word. Sometimes you don’t even expect it to happen and boom there it is. Happy healthy vibes to yiy
I totally understand you. I am a mom to an 8th month old fully blind baby and I also consider myself a positive person, but yeah some days are harder than other. Social media definitely doesn't help.. eventhough I try not to compare... i do 😔 and it hurts. You are an awesome mom and JJ is the cutest!!
Thanks mama! The first year was probably the hardest. But some things get easier. It’s hard not to compare and only natural. Hang in there and know you’re not alone!
I have not ever had your experience, but I so feel for you. Your feelings are justified, every single one of them. I don’t see how you could not struggle. Jensen is a beautiful child. That does not make anything easy. You have made yourself perfectly and justifiably clear. I’m glad you’re in therapy and I hope your future brightens.
Thank you for those amazingly wonderful vibes. I’m so glad that I’m being heard and understood. This message alone makes me realize so happy because it’s exactly what I want to get across. Thanks for the love and encouragement 🥰
Keep talking about your experience. It helps you and it helps us. ❤
Thank you! I'm excited to be back. Definitely would like to readdress mental health too!
Omg everything you said its true!!!! For me its depressing when i remember this is forever, taking care of my son forever damn its the worst. The jealousy is real as well!! Just take it day by day 🙏
Wow this hit the nail on the head. I feel that thought of “this is forever” to my bones. Thank you for sharing. Always good to know that I’m not in this alone.
Yes, yes yes I’m so glad I found this because it’s exactly how I’m feeling. I have a four-year-old with Down Syndrome and it was an unexpected pregnancy late in life and it’s really changed our world.
It’s a wild roller coaster! But I think so much needs to be addressed in this world that’s typically kept quiet. I never want anyone to struggle alone or question if their feelings are valid. Hugs mama. You are doing great!
I'm glad you are willing to talk about the emotional tug of war that takes place. Work through it, gather strength for the next challenge. I'm glad to watch Jensen play and make a mess with toys just like kids do when having fun.
Thank you 🥰 he is getting better and better at scattering his toys and I love it! Lol never thought I’d say that
My 13 month old great-granddaughter is blind. She has septo-optic dysplasia that might have shown up at 20 weeks but no one caught it. We didn't actually find out she was blind until about 4 months. I will be forever grateful that they did miss it because it wouldn't have changed the outcome but it would have affected the pregnancy and joy of her birth and very early months. I understand that when you find out right after birth, you were robbed of that joy and the surgery robbed you of that early bonding. I totally get your jealousy, we all struggle with it when we see all the other babies and children who take that sight and other health for granted. I can also understand that after all your initial concerns and coping with all the medical and emotional aspects, you get to the point where it settles into every day life and your system has been overtaxed already. To me it can be harder as the baby gets older and the other children are doing more and more while we all feel stuck and left behind. I babysit three days a week and my daughter, her grandmother has her quite a bit. That gives my granddaughter a huge break and we all share the responsibilities of her every day life. I know your mom has been wonderful too. I am glad that you're getting help and since I've been watching Jensen I can see the progress that he's made and that can be directly attributed to you and your hard work with him. Try and find a hobby that totally distracts you and make some real time for yourself. We lie to ourselves when we think we can do everything and be fine. Prayers for you and your family!
Thank you for your love, support and prayers! I can tell you definitely get it. I just looked into the septa-optic dysplasia because I'm an ultrasound tech. From the images I've seen that should be something that would have been caught, but I suppose there are always other factors that can go into missing an anomaly. However, I'm glad that there is some joy in not finding out because the rest of pregnancy would be spent worrying. So I totally understand that. We are definitely trying to find a good balance for self care as well as enjoying JJ without the thoughts of constantly working on how to keep him advancing. Thank you again for sharing. Best of luck to your family!
You do a great job sweetheart, clinical depression is serious stuff. I understand completely, my first child suffered a birth trauma injury. Although she is now 38 I still feel jealous of all those things I didn't get to experience and my contemporaries did. I love my daughter very much, but...
You go girl, Jensen is a lovely little guy (that we see). Try to enjoy the boy you have. Grieve for the one that could have been without shame. Xxx
Oh man! That last sentence got me. I’ve never heard it worded that way and I love it. Thank you.
No one prepares you for these things and even if they did you can’t comprehend until you personally go through it.
Thank you so much for the love and encouragement 🥰
@@LifewithNorrieDisease
❤️
Thank you for your transparency.
That was a big goal for me during these videos. Definitely hard to put yourself out there for family and friends to see, but the reward is so worth it. Never want anyone to feel like they are battling alone!
You did an amazing job on this video 💃🏾💃🏾 I totally support your channel. Your feelings are very valid!! I feel A LOT OF THESE SAME FEELINGS.
Thanks for your love and kind words! I need and appreciate all the support! Hugs!
I'm glad you're still giving it a go!! Jensen is adorable and extremely smart. I think he'll do great things.
Thank you I really appreciate the encouragement! As for JJ I couldn’t agree more. He’s already done some amazing things!
Jill, I wish there were words to say how wonderful of a mother you are to Jensen! I know that I would feel the exact same as you do, if I were in your position. Your honesty is key in helping others understand your struggles. Just remember all of your strengths too! You and Josh are slaying this parental thing, especially under your circumstances. BIG HUGS to you, keep on keeping on, and kiss that little sweet adorable face for me.
Thank you SO much Kelly! It can be challenging to be vulnerable on social media and or feel like you’re only portraying yourself one way. So I try to stay true to showing the full journey. Highs and lows.
Thank you for the love and encouragement and I can certainly give JJ an extra cuddle!
Thank you so much from the bottom of my ❤ for sharing your experience. I have been struggling with so many feelings that you talked about . Just to hear someone else speaking about them out loud. Helped me so much. Big ❤ to you and your little man. Xxx
Although I don’t wish those feelings on anyone I’m so glad you reached out. Your post is exactly why I started and why I try to be transparent because I want others to not feel alone and know that they can share their feelings too. Hugs to you!
@@LifewithNorrieDisease thank you ❤️
We have a grandson who was born without eyes. I feel you Jill! Put Jensen down for a minute, Hug your mom, just the way you look at Jensen, she still looks at you! My daughter lives in Texas, we live in Nj, if I could hug her every day and take her every ounce of pain I totally would.
I’m sorry for the journey that your grandson and daughter are going through but supportive family makes a world of difference. Thank you for your kindness and I make sure to hug my mom every day I see her. I can definitely tell you understand our position. Happy healthy vibes to you and your family
My kid has autism and Downsyndrome. I don’t know how to function sometimes
This makes me want to address this type of video again since it’s been a few years. Lots of hugs mama. Your feelings are valid and justified. You have your hands full and I’m sure your cup is empty. But you are doing wonderful things and doing a great job.
Was a good vid as a special needs mom myself. Thanks
Thank you! Just trying to stay real, relatable and vulnerable
As the song on tv sings “where o where can he be”! 😂😂❤️❤️
I know!!!!! I was doing chores and came to check on him. Couldn’t help but think how perfect of timing 😅
I have Major Depressive Disorder wasn't formally diagnosed till I was 41. My father also had it. M DD doesn't define me either. I am a very faceted person! 😆 Thank you for sharing this information. I love Jensen! He has a great spirit and fantastic personality and watching him makes me feel happy!🐿️😆❤️❤️❤️🦮🦮👍👍❤️
Thank you for your kind words. I’m so glad that mental health is more openly talked about because it’s such a isolating feeling being depressed even with good support. Keep on keeping on 💪🏼
It’s okay to NOT be okay, you are human and all that your feeling is normal and understandable 💕don’t worry about what other people think/say about you, they are NOT in your shoes. You love your son and that’s what matters 💕 I’m sure your brother and sister-in-law can understand the way you feel 💕 it must be bittersweet for them to 💕 YOU ARE DOING GREAT AS THE MOTHER OF JENSEN AND THAT’S WHAT MATTERS 💕
Ah man. You are amazing. Thank you for your wonderful words. I try not to care what others may think and to a point I don’t but there is still part of me that stays weary. Thank you for ALL the love and encouragement 🥰
What am I supposed to do when I cannot go back to work and I have no income? I’m always denied bc I live in his father’s house who is vindictive and hateful towards me. He will not play a part in therapeutic behavioral and medical processes and often works against me. It’s been 9 yrs that I’ve been a caregiver 24 hours a day and sleep isn’t available for me. I’m hungry. I’m lonely. I’m simply dodging bullets and acting like every is okay for my son’s benefit. I have to push that away so my son doesn’t catch on to how sad I actually am. I’ve battled depression since my preteens and I know how to cope, but non of it does anything for me. I am stuck in a house day in and day out and I do not qualify for any services bc of his father’s income that I have NO ACCESS to. Families helping families is a bunch of malarkey-all they do is give me all the applications Ive already filled out year after year. I have become silent when my son is at school. Getting a job isn’t a choice bc he misses SO MANY days of school due to his medical conditions. He has a gtube and eating disorder and keeping up with his nutritional needs are a full time job. And there are another 9 diagnoses. We spend so much time at specialists and in the hospital that I keep an emergency bag packed and by the door for rushing to emergency care. It’s like I don’t exist to my “family”. And my heart is broken. I’m wearing clothes with holes, and I haven’t been able to tend to my personal care needs. Make up isn’t available, clothes, shoes, hairspray-unavailable. I look how I feel. Faking it til I make it is wearing thin. I never knew how much a person could be ignored until it was me.
I found your post while searching for ideas I haven’t thought of. There’s nothing out there for this situation. There is absolutely no where to turn to for assistance or just a helping hand. Unreal!
Oh. I am so sorry mama. It’s a rough road and I definitely don’t have the answers. I would be lost without the love and support from family. Is there anyway you can get in contact with a Counsler?
Best of luck!
Please take care of yourself. Only continue YouTubing if it brings you positive feeling. You already have so many responsibilities. Perhaps a pause for some months and see if you feel better and not so pressured. Maybe with that you realize you want to stop. You owe us nothing. You are great mom. Being clinically depressed is absolutely not something to be ashamed about. Nor is being jealous. It is understandable.
Thank you so much for your kind and amazing words. I do enjoy YouTubing more so I enjoy being here to help others whether that be to help special needs parents or talking about depression. I have finally found peace in not getting videos out consistently and going at a pace that is do able for my family and our needs at the time.
Thanks again for your amazing message. It went a long way for me. 🥰
Love it
thank you!
Don't need to justify how you feel. Being a parent of a child with special needs is the worst period. #ISaidWhatISaid. Unless they are coming to your home to offer respite people need to STFU 🤷🏾♀️
💪🏼 love this. I am the worst and think about all the different angles of how I feel and don’t want things interpreted the “wrong way.” Thanks for being authentic and inspiring!
Can he walk yet or will he ever walk
He still can’t walk. There is hope that he will be able to walk by the age of three which means another year via our physical therapists experience with an educational guess. Thanks for the question.