Adopted DNA Test Results - NOT What I Expected 🤯 Mind Blown
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- Опубликовано: 26 ноя 2018
- Ancestry and 23andMe DNA test results SURPRSE! Heads up, DNA testing for adoptees can be complicated! I told you I wasn’t looking for my birth parents or biological family and it was 100% true. I’m happily adopted and love my REAL adopted parents and siblings. But when I got the results of my DNA tests from Ancestry DNA and 23andMe it changed my life FOREVER.
To be completely honest, I’m still processing everything that has happened. If my Ancestry adoption story is convoluted, please understand that it’s confusing to me, too! This is all so new and unexpected and…bizarre.
PLEASE, if you have a DNA adoption story to share, I’d love to hear it. Now more than ever!
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🧬 Friends, I just posted a follow up Q&A vlog, answering a few of your questions. Here it is: ruclips.net/video/S8CN9VnfZr4/видео.html
So love reading your comments, stories, and questions! I will get to them ALL ASAP!
Congratulations for your journey! It brings flashback of my childhood! I totally understand your mixed feelings about the discovery of all these new family members! I'm impressed with your grace and compassion! I'm not adopted but come from a very large family of 30 siblings. Growing up in Africa as children, we were always excited about a new sibling who would pop up from no where because daddy was kind of a rolling stone. We are all very close and we all just get excited meeting each other. There was never a moment we felt otherwise other than happy to unite with a lost sibling! The most important is that your new family wants to meet with you! Most of my siblings were from my dad's extramarital affairs. I guess it's African culture which is unfamiliar to this society! These things don't happen often anymore!
Hi, am from Indonesia, and just subscribed. Excited to watch the results/continuation of your journey🌹By the way, first second I watched your video I thought you look like Dutch.
I met a half sister I never knew I had a year ago after an Ancestry DNA test. We talk everyday. One of the biggest blessings of my life. I wish you and your family all the best.
That's amazing. I'm so glad the outcome was so positive for both of you.
I just sent my DNA test a couple of weeks ago. My grandfather was adopted. He passed on years ago and spent his life not knowing anything about his birth parents. He really wanted to know. I'm going to try to solve this 90 year old mystery.
I was adopted...my stepdad was captured in the phillippines during WWII.
He was in the Bataan-Corregador death march.
Received a bronze star for his heroism in Hanawa Prisoner of war camp in Japan.
He met my mother in Florida...
And adopted me when I was three.
They were not going to tell me I was adopted...
My mother told my step-sister that I was adopted when I was 63 years old. It took me several years to find out my dad's name.
I looked up his name on find a grave and found my first cousin...
Via the comment section.
They bought my dna test. I am
73% British
16% Irish, Scottish
7% Native American and
1% Black.
I show approximately 1000 cousins.
I did not discover my actual birth certificate until I was 70.
Dad always told me that I did not have a birth certificate, so I used my baptismal certificate instead.
Your cousins are your family...and your adopted parents are too.
I finally met my blood relatives about 4 years ago...and I must say they are a great family to have.
The best part is, they knew I was born, but did not know what had happened to me...
So when I contacted my first cousin, she said..."we have been looking for you all of our lives!"
John
What a great family story, johnlp4!
My only regret is that my wife, Maryann, did not live long enough to see this day come to pass.
You girls are awesome, you are under thanked and underappreciated for all you do.
There is nothing under heaven than a good woman by your side.
You are the joy in your household.
And when you are gone, it is just an empty house.
The years we planned together, the times we shared, the happiness we felt, no longer fulfill our life.
You women make a man a faithful companion, and your love is forever...and you still stare at him when he is not looking don't you?
So thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you put up with, and for your contribution of the best years of a man's life.
John
Nothing better under heaven...
Sorry, forgot the word better...
😊
johnlp4 oh wow my dear friend was one of the soldiers that helped liberate the survivors from that camp. Many blessings to you.
My father was also in Bataan Corregidor! He also received a bronze star with valor for his heroism following the bombing of the Oryoko Maru hell-ship. He was in a POW camp in China, Cabanatuan iirc.
I am 70 years old and just found half siblings.
Wow, would you like to share more! I hope it's been positive for you.
@@MidlifeCredo We are going to meet for the first time next month. We actually did an independent DNA swab test and it came back 99.9% half siblings. Been an interesting couple years. He has a full sister who hasn't accepted it yet. Probably because we are the same age. I'm five months older.
I traced both my & my husband's family trees back to 1500s &found out that one of my hubby's maternal ancestors married one of mine. Technically we are distantly related. My Mother in Law was NOT amused by that.
you have a strange MIL. From stories of my Great Grandparent (Fatherside) and Grandparent (motherside), i already know that im my uncle 2nd grade to myself xd
But at some point, there must be an overlap. There is just a limited amount of humans on earth.
It's actually more common than people realise, if we where to count all the people 18 plus generations ago, technically there isn't enough people to be alive so it is normal to see the same individual twice or even 4 times as based on the area, environment ect the gene pool maybe limited in certain areas such as islands
So tell her she shouldn't be werid by it as you share less than 5% DNA
I must say, I chuckled at that...I can imagine my mother in law's reaction as well ! Fortunately my husband and I have no ancestors in common!
Thank you for your story. I am 48 years old and just discovered 4 days ago I am adopted. My adopted parents are both deceased. I have applied for a pre-adoption birth certificate and I am seriously considering DNA testing. It's been a whirlwind of emotions and I'm still processing. Your raw emotional testimony is encouraging to me. Thank you so much for sharing. :)
I’ve known my birth family for 40 yrs now. It was a very good thing. My mom and dad (adopted) whom I loved dearly, got to know them too.
I think the step mother getting in touch and being so nice was really sweet, it goes to show that even though your 'biological' father was not in your life, he still loved and thought about you.
WOW! I was wondering why a light and fluffy DNA test results video was going to end up a 29 minute video. And what a journey! I’m kind of honoured that I was included in such a personal discovery with you, as I’m sure a lot of other people were too. Thank you for sharing it with us! I hope it all works out well for you all.
Blue Bella, I absolutely appreciate that! Thank you! I'm surprised it became endlessly long, too. (And editing was a bear because…so much footage!) But it was just a drawn out experience! Thanks for your kind words. ☺️
Our stories are similar but totally unique. I was adopted as an infant, and I used Ancestry to find my ethnic background, and I knew there was a chance I’d find my biological relatives. I always felt complete. My family is my family. Upon receiving my results, I found my first cousin and sent him a message. He immediately wrote back saying he’d been hoping to hear from me one day, and he asked permission to tell my biological mother. She was just 17 when I was born, and that’s something I always knew. I always wanted to thank her for giving me a beautiful life and a wonderful family. Of course we began communicating. She’d had 3 sons and a daughter after me, different father than me. My half siblings have been kind and never rude about this. My biological father sadly passed before I could meet him, but he also had a son. That means I have, in total, 4 half brothers and 1 half sister. I’ve found 1st cousins locally. My maternal grandmother is living nearby. It’s been a whirlwind, and I can really relate to the feelings of not knowing what to do with ALL this information.
To be so easily accepted by a family I never knew is a blessing, but it’s also difficult to navigate. I’m lucky to feel no different about the family that raised me. That’s set in stone. That’s my family.
Meeting new relatives, though. That’s been amazing.
Wow, what a wonderful outcome from a genetic test! Lucky you!
I certainly understand the "still processing" part! I was adopted, and not interested in finding my birth-mother except to tell her that I was alive and well, and to thank her for giving birth to me. But friends of my adoptive parents seemed to think searching was important, and encouraged me to look for my biological parents before it was too late. (Later I learned that they were afraid I'd married my brother, which was NOT true!) I didn't search until after my adoptive mom had died and my dad gave me some adoption papers that he had, but wasn't supposed to have been given. I was so young and still not ready, and my searching was half-hearted. When I was in my early 30's, I finally got serious and did my search. I found I had 10 siblings between "his," "hers" and "theirs." My birth-mother wouldn't tell any of her kids (except one that was sworn to secrecy) so when she passed away the one sister told all of the rest of the kids. They were initially excited but then most of them decided I should have stayed a secret. My older brother said "even if we had known about you, we wouldn't have looked for you. There were already too many kids, too many mouths to feed, and not enough love in the family." Sadly, I think that was very true. My birth-father's family, however, eagerly accepted me and has loved on me ever since. My one regret was that my adopted dad felt betrayed, even though he was the one who gave me the info that started my search. He never told me that he was upset, but he shared his true feelings with my cousin. I'm thankful to have found my birth-family. All of my adoptive family (except one adopted brother) is gone... grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins... and I'd have almost no one if it wasn't for my birth-father's side of the family. But as much as I love my birth-family, I am ever so blessed to have been given up for adoption and to have had the family that I did growing up.
I think they just want you to have the full story for yourself.
Aww, she was looking for you. You were missed. Your dad shared that you exist with her. Beautiful.
Omg I'm so jealous. I've thought about doing this, but was nervous. I too am adopted & every time I hear people talking about their family tree or biology I feel a little twinge. Yes, my family has a very long & well researched history, but even though they are 100% my family my brain still says to me "the tree is borrowed ". My daughter was a revelation to me. The first person in my life who shares a resemblance. I look at her & say, oh that's my nose & it's a surreal feeling. I'm not looking for another family; I adore the one I have. I hold no animus towards my birth parents who were only 14 & 17. In fact I'm extremely grateful to them for giving me a great life. It's just this missing puzzle piece of where do I come from. What's the story of their lives & those before them. Thank you so much for sharing this experience with us. It's certainly helped make a decision I have been battling for a long time.
I had a DNA test and my mind was blown by the results. My late dad had always said he was an orphan and I have always been curious what happened to his parents. He said his father was Spanish and his mother was Irish and Native American. It turns out my dad was NOT an orphan. He was a teen runaway and his mother was actually Filipino and he was raised in the Philippines not the US as he had said. The story of the missing brother has been passed on through the family and when I messaged a cousin I learned the truth about my dad. I will be meeting some of my dad's family for the first time in a couple of weeks. I am thrilled to know the truth and his family is thrilled to know that he lived a long life and had a family. I am nervous but excited to see where this goes from here.
It sounds like your biological dad would have been a good one. 💕
Thank you. I assume he was, too, as well as my bio mom. 💞
I can tell you that my heart ACHED for my son when he was taken from me. Now he wants nothing to do with me. THATS HURTSFUL!
Debbie E I’m so sorry about what you went through. Praying for your peace and healing ❤️
Im adopted. But i was adopted by a cruel and controlling man . His wife divorce him . I knew i was adopted and i knew my mothers name. I didn't look for her until i was 38 and married and had 1 son. I found her by accident. I made 1 comment threw out her name and found out a coworker was my mothers childhood friend. We have been talking since. Im 56 now. I finally found a family. The adopted parents used us as free labor. I feel blessed. God knew i needed a real family and gave it to me when i was old enough. Hope you enjoy your new family. I believe the more the merrier. We are all human. We grow all our lives. You may need to learn something from this family and God wants you to see this . Love you :)
Thank you for sharing your story. I am so happy you found what you needed! That is truly a blessing. 🤗
Your Mother & Father did such a great job raising you *that you already feel whole.* I think that's why you're OK with not needing further contact. *Bravo to you all!*
What a lovely comment. My parents were amazing. I have appreciated them more and more as I got older. I so miss them!
miss, you can never have too much family and people have the ability to love more than 2 parents
I'm adopted. I did Ancestry DNA. I found out I'm mainly British, Irish, Scottish, and German. I also found a full blooded brother!! We are three years apart in age. We finally met on Thanksgiving day this year.
That's lovely. Xxx
A year ago a 23andMe DNA test confirmed a first cousin of mine who was adopted at birth. She discovered she has two brothers. It has been pleasant for all concerned.
I love that you've put your adoptive parents in frame while you are going through all of this like it is helping you to have them there with you while you go through all of this crazy chaos.
i just found my sister threw ancestry as she started a family tree and it popped up on mine that relatives were on her tree too :) me and my sister are both adopted
💞 There are so many wonderful comments and questions here on the post AND sent privately, that I've gotten way behind in responding. I'm sorry. Next weeks' vlog is (instead of the one planned) going to be a response to as many comments/questions as I can! Thanks so so much for your kind words and support!
This was amazing! Wow! I broke down when you talked about the 23 and Me message. How mind blowing!
I just happened upon your vlog and you are "spot on" in how you are handling your situation. I wish you the best!!! I'm 61 & have recently connected with an aunt on the maternal side. I let her take the lead--no pressure to meet. When we DID meet it was quite wonderful & I love her unconditionally!
I was adopted and found my half sisters, 1 through 23 and me. We recently met our biological mother. It's exactly as you described, sending that first message and not knowing what the response will be. Luckily, my sisters and I have bonded quickly and have so much in common. Love your story, thanks for sharing!!!!
No DNA test but found my birth family. I think the strangest part was seeing people who looked like me, shared similar habit and traits, and to find out medical information. Particularly satisfying was being able to tell my mom there was a reason I didn't eat lima beans (birth mother can't stand them either). It's good you are working through your thoughts. We have to make those decisions to be okay with whatever comes our way in the strange journey of finding birth family. You might consider writing a letter to your birth mom explaining a little about yourself and that you are okay if she can't meet with you, etc. Take your time with your thoughts and decisions. Best of luck.
S Wysocki my cousin was given up for adoption. I never believe he looks like his mom, but he looks exactly like our uncle. It’s like time traveling.
He’s a cool person.
I’m always bummed we didn’t know him as kids. It’s super cool to see him now.
@@heatherg1706 I look like my birth mother. I look most like my great grandmother. Birth mom went me a photo and people ask me when I had it taken. It creeped me out for a long time. LOL It's been a great deal of fun meeting and talking with everyone in my birth family.
Any advice or step to take to try and find mines
@@SeanSmith-nl4gs It depends on the state where you live and the state where you were adopted. First, and all the way through, have several talks with yourself about why you want to find them. What do you expect? What is they don't want to speak with you.? How do you feel towards them, etc. Tons of questions.
Next, find out your state's laws on adoptions and getting a copy of your original birth certificate. Some states, this is not so difficult. Others, it's very difficult. Were you an agency or a private (lawyer) adoption? If you were an agency baby then go and try to obtain your de-identified information from the agency. It usually tells a bit about your birth parents, and their families. No names anywhere. No addresses or other information that would identify them. Check to see if your birth mom has left a letter for you indicating whether she might want to meet. Leave a letter for either of your birth parents or other relatives indicating that you are open to meeting. The agency can help with those. If you are a private adoption, try to find out which law firm handled your adoption and whether they are still practicing.
Those are the beginning steps. You can google what to do in your particular state or what to do in the state where you were born and adopted. Let us know what you end up doing.
Also, most importantly, really figure out what you want from this search and any meeting that may happen. You have to be ready for any reaction from birth family. Don't go looking if you are trying to fill a "hole". or if you expect just to slip on into the family like you were always there. Be ready that even though your birth mom carried you, it won't feel like having a mother. She's not. I'm not telling you NOT to look, I just want you to be prepared. Best of luck.
@@swysocki3920 I wanna thank you so much and I will so follow your suggestions, and not looking for another family nor fill a hole I feel I am ready ... there are medical and nagging questions that I want answered but I already prepared myself for the worst
I have two stories. I am not adopted and neither are my parents. They were teen parents born to teen parents. We've all been tested and didn't have any significant ethnicity surprises. However, one day a match came up as a 1st cousin match on my list. It was a bit shocking. I communicated with my match and while we found a common family surname it didn't really fit. We both just left it alone for about a year and I just assumed one of my relatives might have knocked up someone and we just didn't know about it. I picked up working on my tree and reconnected with the match. I also figured out how to determine if a match was on my mother's or father's side. My mom works on my tree with me and we figured it out it was on her side. We began to wonder if maybe our match didn't know she was adopted, etc... and out of the blue I had a moment of clarity and thought "what if it IS us?". I dug in and figured out that I had matches on each branch of our family tree but ONE. This one branch didn't seem to exist and in its place were names we didn't know. It was us. We nailed it down and determined that my mother's mother was where the tree veered. My grandmother's biological father was this woman's father making her my mom's "half aunt". We pretty much determined that this had to be true but really needed to test my grandmother to be certain. Last year I purchased a DNA kit for my grandparents. They essentially did it for me an my mom and our interest in history but didn't really care. My grandmother is ill, her parents are deceased and so is the biological father so we've opted not to share this information with her. She has 2 half-sisters. Our match was interested in knowing more but accepting of the fact that we won't tell her. Our match has a full sister that wants nothing to do with it which we accept. The 3 interested parties have met and had a great visit. It hasn't changed our lives in any measurable way but it makes parts of my mom and I make more sense knowing this information.
My 2nd case was a match who reached out to me on Ancestry.com wanting to know if I was related to a specific person. She'd been told all her life that she and her sister had the same father. They had done a DNA kit and determined that this was not true. So she was trying to determine if he was her father or her sister's father. As I explained how she should search she just made me her manager and asked me to look. Within about 2 hours I'd built a tree with her matches and isolated the man I believe is her father. She's meeting her new family (they are for sure family) this week and her possible new half-sibling has agreed to take a DNA test to confirm the match. The father is deceased and wasn't someone known for his stellar character but she is delighted with the family she's connected with so far.
Now I'm obsessed with helping others figure our their own mysteries. I may just become a genetic detective.
What a story!! Thank you for sharing, and what a funny and true recollection of thinking that it is of course not you who are the odd one out. So human, we always blame the others but of course someone has to be the one.
Mama Michele k82
Mama Michele ,k9’!
Lis Trotter I’ll email you
Mama Michele May need your help if you don’t mind
I found out that I was adopted 4 years ago after having a suspicion my whole life. Soon after I found my birth mom, and right after found out I was pregnant. NOOOW is when I am mentally ready to do this and learn about my family, and hopefully who my bio dad is and his side of the family. So glad to watch your journey!
I am so glad to have found you. I will let you know my story over the weekend. Thanks for sharing your story.
What an adventure! You're a mix of a lot of things - this must have been exciting! Cheers!
Yes, a mix of nationalities BUT…pretty boring! So European. I hoped to be all Irish with a splash of something exotic. Not happening. But I should have known my pasty whiteness and freckles didn't leave much room for that. 😂
I just found your vlog regarding your DNA test and the results. I too am an adopted child from a closed adoption. I’m also in my 50s. I completely understand your thought process. I was adopted as an infant and my adopted parents and family (cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.) ARE my family. I have no idea who my biological family is. I have sometimes wondered who they were or what they were like, but more just as a curiosity and for medical reasons. I can only imagine how hard that is to process for you. Especially if you weren’t trying to find your biological family. I appreciate how you have decided to let your biological mother decide whether to reach out or not to you. That is very considerate. I only wish the beat for you and hope that however this discovery turns out, you and everyone involved can stay in a positive place.
I did the 23andMe and AncestryDNA tests and found four half-sisters, a father, and a paternal grandmother. I met three of my half-sisters for the first time at the age of 50, and my biological father and grandmother for the first time at the age of 51. After being an only child for nearly five decades, I am now a sister and an aunt many times over!
I’m glad your adopted parents were so loving to you and gave you the family you needed when you were growing up. Thank you for sharing your story.
What a lovely story and you have been so gracious and compassionate also about the effect on the new acquired family. I hope this has a really happy ending, but looking good so far
Sweetie no one is going to replace your family, but adding more family is fantastic! Holy cow we found out that my husbands first cousin on his dad’s side and I are 8’th cousins! We found a half brother, and a maternal Aunt ! We are all very happy and even met our half brother. 😊👍🏻. I’d contact them.
I am adopted too. I did the acetary dna test close to two years ago. im English, Irish, Scottish, and German. I also found the best thing I could ever ask for. I found my younger full biological brother!!!! I knew about him. he never knew me. we met on thanksgiving last year. we love each other already.
You are handling it fantastically.
Love your blog! You’re way of telling the story drew me in. Very personal. Thank you for sharing. Looking forward to following your story, chapter by chapter since your family is so LARGE lol!
What a FUN and informative video, I love your energy as you explore this. I love that you two did this together. And Oh my God, what a story, so amazing! Wow, it's quite miraculous!!!
Thank you, Linda. So kind of you. It was fun together and Sam was understanding and encouraging. Such a crazy thing!
NOT crazy that he was understanding and encouraging. 😂 That's his typical!
I'm adopted and I also love my family. I did the DNA tests and I found my bio-parents and siblings. I found my bio-dad (who didn't know about me) I only got to know him for a short time (10 months) before he passed away at the beginning of November to cancer. Anyway, I had the pleasure to meet him and there was an instant connection that I don't have with my parents. When I did my DNA tests I wasn't looking for them, I just wanted to know what I was because I heard all my life "what are you?" and it quite frankly drove me crazy. My results are I'm half UK/Welsh and half Basque (bio-dad came to the US to herd sheep in the 50's). Anyway, it was good. I was the third child of my bio-mom. You are absolutely right, for adoptees really need to understand how much their lives will change, especially finding bio-family. I've had a tough time. I wish you all the best.
JoLynn Wright so, it broke my heart to hear you say that there was a connection with the man who contributed to your birth, but that connection isn't there with your parents. I'm trying to understand, but I have a set of twins who know their mom. She is only in their lives enough to mess with them. But they compare us to her all the time. I chose them. They chose you. The most painful thing to hear is exactly what you said. I'm not hating on you or trying to cause trouble, but I just wanted to put that out there.
@@princesslisamarie7860 I'm sorry that my comment caused distress. I can see where you are coming from, however, I think our situations are a tad bit different. I had no birth parents in my life until just about a year ago (I'm 47), so I got to know them as an adult. I can assure you that children are smart and your children will figure out that their birth mom causes them more distress than comfort which they get from you, I'm sure, so you probably have nothing to fear.
The connection I had with bio-dad is different than the connection I have with my parents that's true. but different doesn't mean better, it just means different. He had the same eye disease I have, that's something we bonded over. My son at 17 looked identical to him at 17 - so much so they could be mistaken for twins. We don't look like ANYONE in our family, so that was also a welcomed thing to know.
There are three sides to adoption (bio parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees), and many on all three sides are hurting and experience trauma from the whole adoption process. It's important to remember that no two adoption stories are alike and respecting people's stories and their feelings about their stories are important. My parents actually took me to see my bio-dad and met him. They also adored him and were glad they got to meet him. They have no desire to meet my bio-mom and neither do I.
Keep being honest with your kiddos, they will know that their mom is the one that sits up with them when they are sick, comforts them when they are sad or in pain. The one that loves them unconditionally, and helps guide and teaches them to be amazing adults. Not the one that comes in and causes distress and chaos. I wish you and your family the brightest future and happy holidays.
JoLynn Wright wow thank you for that. I'm glad your story worked out for you. Thanks for sharing. It's just really tough to raise damaged kids. I love them so much and I hope one day they finally understand. They are 16 now and it's a tough age for anyone let alone with a messed up bio-mom. All I do is continue to love them, that is all i can do. Thanks for your encouragement.
Wow! 🥺 What a touching story! I'm glad you found out your origins. I think it shows that you likely had amazing and loving adoptive parents 😊.
This is really a challenge. Proud of you lovely for going through the journey!
Thank you. Is sure wasn't what I expected. :)
Hey from the Outer Banks of NC. I was also adopted and completely understand how you feel with the test. My family that adopted me IS my family. Finding people you are genetically related to is scary and exciting all at once.
Thank you, Traci! I guess it's hard for some people to understand. (But that's probably why so many people though being adopted was sooooo exotic.) I've always been adopted, so it's not weird to ME. 😂
My grandfather denied my mother since she was born and they also denied me. I took the DNA test and came up a match and i was contacted on ancestry wanting to know who i was because i don't use my real name on there. I then realized it was my grandfather's sister and also her daughter i had connected to. They are no longer denying me lol. I still don't know my grandfather for he still not wanting to be a part of our lives but it is his loss.
Wow, that's tough, Little Smokey. I know that's a real possibility for many of us. I'm glad you were able to connect to some and hope it's a positive experience for you!
You’re right, you are better off not having someone so toxic in your life. So sorry you have to deal with this sort of negativity. I hope you know that this is an indication of the type person he is and in no way reflects on you or your mother
🤔😔😢😭
Your 1st sentence got the word "they". Who's "they"? Your grandfather AND your mother? Or your grandfather's side of family?
@@Mister_Ri_MFBMT my mother's father's side of the family
I'm crying for you!! This was powerful!!
Thank you for this video. I watched it while waiting the 30 mins before I could spit in the tube and worrying, as an adult adoptee, about what/who I might or might not find. Among many health and personal reasons I'm doing a DNA test is to possibly find family and people who "look like me" and I'm so glad you found that. I've never met an adult adoptee older than myself, so it's so helpful to see part of your journey, and I apprecieate you talking about and empathyzing with your elderly birth mother.
How did I miss this??? What a wild ride! Love your attitude toward your birth mother. All the hearts!
Thank you so much!
Thank you for your insightful handling of meeting/not meeting your birth mother. Many women who give children up for adoption, freely GIVE them to another family. They can't be in a relationship with that or any child or they wouldn't give them up for adoption. Most do that because they truly believe the child will have a better life with adoptive parents...a life they must believe they can't give a child at point in time. I have known several such women and honestly their fear was a knock on the door from a total stranger who calls them "mom." You are very insightful to allow your birth mother to make the choice to get in touch. And if she doesn't, it won't be her rejecting you. It will be because she is ONLY the woman who gave birth to you.....not your mother in any sense of that word.
WOW, what a great story!! I wish you all the best!!! Much Love !! XoXoX
I love your story. I also love your not so much ‘indifference’, but perspective on connecting with your birth mother - it makes complete sense. It takes some ‘digging deep’ to manage that thought process. Wishing you only good things on your journey ❤️🙂
It is amazing how you were able to express your feelings and emotions the way you did. I have never really wanted to search out my bio-fam. I never wanted my parents or grandparents to think they weren't enough for me. Now that they are all crossed over, I want to do the DNA tests. Thank you for doing this and being candid with your results and your feelings. I know a few things about my bio-parents, and I have a younger half-sister that did respond through e-mails, but when I asked to meet, she stopped responding. Time to order my tests. Thank you.
Interesting. I've heard to many similar stories since doing this vid. Sometimes the biologically related strangers are really just…strangers. 🤷🏻♀️
You are so lovely, and clearly very loved! Thank you for sharing your journey!!
What a kind comment. Thank you so much. I have a wonderful family!
Wooooow!! How exciting and just truly mindblowing!! Just a little spit and your family expanded so much! :)
You're brave.. It's one thing to actively be searching, another to have things thrown in your lap, and another to just remain anonymous and learn a little about your history. I prefer the last, but you are dealing admirably with the middle one :) Great video, and I hope everything will enrich your life that comes of this.
You are so correct. It's been interesting, but also fun. Thank you for watching!
Can I say I love your heart. Your a beautiful person and I love how your handling everything. Do what feels right to you. Dont force anything...your amazing blessings over you always.
Thank you so much for the kind words. I appreciate it so much.
more people to love, and be loved by... congratulations and best wishes to all!
You seem like such a kind, thoughtful person. I really enjoyed your story!
What a happy person you are. I love having watched this WHOLE video. ...and of course, I clicked on the "Like" icon too. Cheers and hugs to you!
Your father was probably really upset your biological mother gave you up for adoption, and he never forgot about you. I think it is awesome that you are finding biological family, and if I were you, I would get to know them. Your Mother may have felt she did not have the means to take care of you, and was bitter about the divorce. I would have fun with meeting your biological family, and let your guard down. I hope you do an update of meeting your biological family.
Thank you for watching. I don't know their feelings in particular. Mostly I'm just enjoying a slow introduction. :)
We were all given up for a reason. Reasons we can't begin to understand as children, or even young adults. My bio-parents were actually married. I don't hate or blame either one for my adoption, as I was placed with the most wonderful family that gave me a life.
@@traciscott6700 so many yesses! The reason(s) never really mattered to me. It was a valid choice and I was loved and well taken care of. That's all that matters.
I have an adopted cousin who is from a Greek mother and an Italian father. I just deleted the rest of my post because my cousin might not know it all and people could trace who she is.
Beautiful story! It's good to see you have the option, to do what you feel like best with your bio fam. Do what makes you happy i would say, take your time. I did a DNA test (MyHeritage) as well but for an other reason. Planning to do a second (Ancestry and then free upload 23&me), hoping to find family too. Good luck with your journey and thanks for sharing! Greetings from The Netherlands
I have SUCH a soft spot in my heart for Holland…er, the Netherlands. 💞Thank you for your kind comments. Let me know what your results are if you take more tests!
And if you're wondering about my Holland thing, I vlogged about it today! ruclips.net/video/S8CN9VnfZr4/видео.html
Thank you for sharing your story. I am happy for you having found some of your biological siblings.
Beautiful story!! Made me cry. Congratulations!
I love this video so much! Will definitely subscribe
Thank you so much, Hannah!
Giggling at your struggle to fill the vial - I had the same problem! My mouth got so dry towards the end, I didn't think that would EVER get filled up.
It was the biggest challenge of the entire experience!
Hello, I am not adopted, nor searching for anyone. I was given a 23andme kit for Christmas by my adult children, so I will see what turns up. . .I wanted to say I find you two endearing and I love your jovial interactions. I think it would be very fun to watch you both in "your happy goofiness" in future videos! Some of your audience grew up in toxic situations and don't know what it is like to have such easy camaraderie with a spouse. You do a great job modeling "how to be". Thank you.
I have no idea how I stumbled upon your page but I’m glad I did. You are such a beautiful person! My family has done a 23 and me and have nothing exciting on our DNA. It was still nice to see where we came from for sure. My grandfather (has passed on) and he was unsure his genetic history. Anyways ..... our story isn’t as great as yours.
I have been following one of my friends (who’s adopted) journey in reaching out to his biological family. His adopted family are supportive. The adoptive family knows that Chris (my friend) loves them and that’s where his heart is. But he feels it’s important for everyone to know that he’s ok and in reaching out he’s gotten a lot of medical information about his family which is important.
I hope some of that made sense.
I really appreciate you sharing your wonderful story. I am so happy for your journey!
I did the Ancestry DNA test and it came back twice saying I had to redo. Did a bit of research online, and found a suggestion: _IF_ you wear dentures, do the test in the morning _before_ applying any fixative. I followed that advice and voilà, success!
😂😁 I guess that's a bit like the French kissing problem. DO NOT introduce foreign substances to the DNA! 😅
I think that you are so emotionally healthy and strong! At the end of the day every human being deserves to know who their birth parents are. However, it doesn't mean that the knowledge will lead to a healthy relationship. You've obviously experienced the love of people who truly gave you a healthy upbringing. You turned out fantastic!
Thank you for sharing your story. I found it wonderful that you showed the pictures of your parents. You are correct that you have a family. Take your time and do what feels right to you.
Thank you for sharing, loved the story!
Thank you so much for watching. It's quite a journey!
What an interesting and surprising story. (There's so much click-bait silliness out there) I wanted to take a minute to commend you on the kind, thoughtful, and generous attitude you have about your birth mother. It was really inspirational to me.....you are as kind as gentle and lovely as your Father's second wife! (Did I get that right? LOL) You may not have discovered you're Irish but you've certainly discovered something much more important and meaningful. Blessings to you and your whole family..
This was such a kind comment. Thank you so much. I'll read this again when I get the next nasty comment telling me I'm full of hate! 😂 (I'm fine…this is RUclips, I get it.) But it's really nice to hear that someone understands my approach on the birth mother issue. I'll let her decide how to proceed.
I too am adopted and waited till I was mid 50 to start the biological family search journey. I did the tests for 23andMe and Ancestry along with filling out Adoption Search application for the state the adoption took place in. Both DNA test results were received in November of 2018, and my adoption research results came in mid December 2018.
I grew up knowing I was adopted. I love my adopted family but I did have a curious side of me that really wanted my biological data too.... and so begins my journey. The information given to my adopted parents about my birth parents was not so accurate. I grew up thinking I am Scandinavian until I got my results to tell me I am more German than Scandinavian. I can related to what you said about this being very mind boggling, overwhelming and needing time to process all the information staring back at you on screen. I did find two half siblings, 1 uncle, and some 1st, 2nd and 3rd cousins and over 1000 4th -8th cousins. I can relate to not really knowing what to say to those relatives on the DNA Match list. It's weird and exciting. I have found that both bio families have rather large family trees. My bio parents did not marry. But both families did not live far from where I grew up.
Since the whirlwind beginning of this journey, I have made some contacts with some of members of both my bio families and stay in touch with them. I look at this as just expanding on my existing family that raised me and I am looking forward to meeting up with them hopefully some time in 2019.
What a great story! I love how this adds to the very different experiences and feelings adoptees can have during this journey. I'm really glad you are making the connections you were looking for. Keep me posted!
That is AMAAAAZING!!!!!! WOW!!! Congrats!!!
Amazing story. Thank you for sharing
Wow! Amazing story. Thanks for sharing. You husband seems really sweet.
You are SO right. I got so lucky. 💞33 years and counting! Love of my life.
Most Irish have dark hair,not red. Red hair is as likely to come from England,Germany, The Netherlands,and Scandinavia. It is not a specifically Celtic trait.
OMGoodness, you are adorable! I am only 7 minutes into your vlog but anxious for the remainder & results.
You are so kind! I'm not often called "adorable" so I'll TOTALLY take that compliment! Hope you have as great a day as you just gave me. (And hope you liked the last 7 minutes. That's where the craziness happens!)
I am glad to hear of so many kind connections you have now! Congratulations.
I just wanna know why NOW everyone seems to think it's obvious I have German ancestry, when I have literally NEVER had ANYONE say that in my entire 54 years? 😂
I knew that's why you reminded me of my Mom! Also, you are only 2 months younger than her! We are very German lol!
they dreamt that you are.
The funny thing is before I got to the DNA part of the video showed I said you were gonna be high in German. You have a lot of the features
You live in the US don't you? Everyone's super mixed thereand ppl loosely categorize themselves by what continent they're from, I bet half the people commenting that its obvious are writing from actual Europe where they'd pick up on subtle regional differences.
- It's mostly the forehead shape, also possibly the lower face and hair texture, though these are less obvious.
You gave a very germanic jawbone - wide and strong. A feature to be proud of let me add.
Congratulations on finding your family, Everyone needs to know where they came from. I hope you can meet them and learn more about why you are who you are :-)
Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you the best in your future reunions.
I love that you are considering your mother's feeling and are moving slowly towards reconnecting with her. I try to warn adoptees, who have found their birth family, that they have the right to know their past, but they shouldn't expect a relationship. My family adoption story ended sadly with me rejecting a half-cousin. Fifty years ago, my dying grandmother decided to introduce my father and his sister to a half-sister they didn't know existed. I was only 12, but I knew she had just thrown a bomb into the family story, and it wasn't going to end well. When my grandmother died a month later, my father and his sister breathed a sigh of relief and stopped contact with each other, and their new sister. Five years ago, her daughter found me through DNA, and at that time, I told her the estrangement wasn't about her mother or her family. Plus my father was still alive, and it would be impossible for me to have a relationship with her. But to be honest, I should have said I wanted nothing to do with the living past of my grandmother. She knew our grandmother for a month, the rest of us had known her much longer, and I would just as soon forget the nightmares she had created.
When you were born, there was still a lot of stigmatism against babies being born out of wedlock.
My sister-in-law was old enough to remember having older siblings when she was given up for adoption at 4 years old. What she didn't know is that they were looking for her and had been for many years. She specifically remembered an older brother dressed in a military uniform holding her. They were finally reunited and it turned out that she had 3 full brothers and 1 full sister. The sad part of the reunion was finding out why she was given up for adoption. Her biological parents (now both deceased) were deemed unfit by the state and unable to parent a child of four years old. Her siblings were also unable to gain custody of her for various reasons... age, financial situation, etc. It was a wonderful reunion and bittersweet at the same time. She was not as fortunate as some to receive good adoptive parents. They were cold and indifferent to her so she wonders what her life might have been like if they had allowed her to stay with her biological family.
@Kat-nt6fr - All my best to your sister-in-law.
Thank you for sharing! That was a pretty amazing story. I am not adopted, but do not know much about my mothers family and always kind of wonder.
Glad you enjoyed it! It was quite a revelation!
What a fabulous result for you. I hope that it all works out well for you.
Congrats on over 100k views!
Thank you so much! I can hardly believe it myself. 😯
My experience has been great. I found out so much about my ancestry that I didn't know and ended up meeting cousins that I didn't know I had and were able to help me with information for my "tree". There were alot of surprises for me that left me just amazed. I got one for my wife as well and, not only is she the most Irish person I've ever met (99%) but again we met cousins that have helped her learn about her ancestors. I recommend it for everyone.
Thankyou for sharing this with us. It is such a wonderful story and how great for the people that have been searching for you to finally have found you. The second wife sounds lovely, as you say o blood but she must of loved your Dad very much and been supportive of him. Wow your Christmas gift list has just grown. I will subscribe so please give us an update when you meet. Good luck.
Loved hearing about you're history, I wish you the very best.
I am happy for you. My sister discovered a first cousin we didn't know about. I had my sister tell our youngest cousin. his eldest sibling told their parent. He went crazy mad. My sister and I kind of keep in contact. I had asked our youngest cousin if anything new was happening with the connection. My Father and Mother leave me this horrendous scream fest phone message. We are to have NO contact with the found cousin. And.....NO contact with the cousins we grew up with ever. It is heartbreaking and upsetting. We, My sister and I want to get to know this "new" cousin. I'll be watching your follow ups on your exciting new family adventures!!!! Much love to you!
What a journey of the heart ! I too am adopted. I did Ancestry DNA and 23 and me as well, at 60 years old !! I have been looking off and on since I turned 18, with the blessing of my family (adoptive). Nothing, until I did DNA testing ! I found my biological Father first. He knew nothing about me ! But since that time I've been blessed to meet him face to face and meet my 4 jalf-siblings, nieces and nephews. I'm the oldest and the sister next to me in age and I could be twins !! It's crazy! I now have an amazing relationship with my Poppa, now age 87, and his side of the family. Next I found my Mother's side. Long story short, my Grandmother was one of 15! Through contacting cousins and 2nd cousins, we together figured out and confirmed who my biological Mother was. She has passed. Last May I went to a family reunion from her side. Many accepted me right away, as they had been connected to my through DNA. My Aunt was not as accepting, until my great Aunt came to the table and finally revealed, I was indeed Donna's daughter, the deep family secret ! I have 2 half-siblings from her side.
Tears, love, shock etc flooded our gathering. Now, we are so close, building memories and strong relationships !! There is nothing like looking into the faces of people you look like. Nothing like hearing stories of the people that share your DNA. Nothing like talking to my Poppa every other day and hearing him say" I love you my daughter" and hearing my siblings say the same!
I know my Momma and Daddy are happy in heaven knowing this blessing has come to me.
I will also offer this, as far as the differences between the DNA tests go, Ancestry proved to be spot on to my breakdown of where my ancestors came from. My Poppa is 100% Norwegian. I came up 51% ! My Mother's side, England, Scotland and Wales. 49% match for me !! 23andMe's calculations are totally different, they do not have as large of a Data Base as Ancestry. Just a little FYI !
Good luck and many blessings as you travel this new journey. It is overwhelming at first, but embrace what you want, leave behind what you don't ! Hugs from Kansas!
Kris, what an amazing story. DNA testing has made such a difference! My full bio sister and I look so much alike that I fooled lifelong friends with a photo of her. 😂 And WOW you are the deep dark family secret!!! I take that as a badge of honor!! I'm also so happy that this has been a blessing to you overall. I do feel blessed for the way this is working so far. Everyone has been kind and respectful.
@@MidlifeCredo It is a badge of honor now to be the deep dark family secret. It took about 4 months for the truth to come out, but in the end I received nothing but open arms and love! I could not ask for more. Many hugs as you continue your journey ... Kristy
@@KrissiCreates and to you! Thank you for sharing your story with us!
Before DNA tests maybe the mother thought someone else was the father. A lot of people do not understand conception and dates.
@@melvawages7143 In my case my Mother was a deceiver, trying to trap my Father's best friend into getting with his friend and claiming I was his friends child !! Once his best friend refused her... I was no longer wanted ! She married her 3rd husband within 3 months of my birth !! All pieced together trough my Poppa, his best friend, 2 Aunts and my half-brother !! True story, not a book !! Lol!
I love that you love you adopted family so much and that they are your real family. Refreshingly awesome!
A little late seeing your video. I adopted 3 children through our foster care system in Georgia. My adoptive son was interested being bi-racial, to know his genetic background. I was always curious as well about my genetic background, however never pursued. Ancestry had special at Christmas 2018 of buy 3 kits, get 1 free. I gave one to my step son, kept one for me, my adoptive son and the older adoptive girl. The older girl, we also adopted her 1/2 sister. We never met the girls parents. I knew I would go back and do the youngest girl dna testing. I hid the results to my adoptive children, however one day, for whatever reason, I removed and made visible the older girls results. I was looking at her matches and saw a name in my father's family which threw me off (Rives). I dug and found that this person was a distant cousin to me and a 3rd cousin to my daughter. I decided to see how many of the surnames we shared from my father's family. I was in total shocked. Ancestry even though I listed my children as adopted, in ThruLines it did not see them as adopted and I saw matches which tie into my family. I have found where we share matches with a few individuals as well. I finally did test on youngst girl, and I was able to determine that their ties to my paternal side are from their biological mother's side. I know their biological parents names, two of which are very common names. What helped was knowing the biological mother's, her own mother's last name which is not common at all. I was able to find that name which is what helped me determine the connection with the one shared dna match with the name Rives. I also uploaded the raw dna to GEDMatch and see that I match my daughters at 5.9 and 5.0. Even though at a low cM, we also share xChromosome. My girls know I have information if down the road they want, but presently they want nothing to do with their biological family as the reason for their going into state care was that the youngest suffer brain trauma (shaken baby syndrome) and is a miracle baby. She was shaken by her biological father. By the way, I have reddish blonde hair and I have always known that it came from my mother's side which is predominantly German. I thought I had more Scot/Irish than I had, but found out my father was more English than than Scot/Irish! Funny as to what you hear, what is passed down through the generations, only to find out not correct! LOL!
I have chills when you read about close family - to 1st cousins. More love to spread around.
If you got chills at that, I hope you kept watching! 😱😊
This makes me wanna do an dna test in hopes of finding an older brother of mine that was given up for adoption.
Tamora, please keep me updated if you learn anything. It's a crazy experience!
This was so interesting! Thank you for sharing.
I felt the same its Very Overwhelming!!! If you get involved and meet them try and keep some distance cause it can be suffocating. It can be to much! Best of Luck! :)