HOW THE INFJ BREAKS BULLIES ONCE AND FOR ALL (without turning into a monster)
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- Опубликовано: 14 май 2024
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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Explore the strategies that INFJs can employ to prevent others from treating them and those around them poorly. Gain a deeper understanding of the root causes behind such negative behaviors, and learn effective methods to liberate yourself and others from the cycle of disrespect. By adopting these strategies, you can foster a more positive and respectful atmosphere. Take proactive steps towards making a significant impact by demonstrating to others the critical value of kindness and respect in all interpersonal relationships. This guide aims to empower INFJs to lead by example, transforming their environments into places where empathy and understanding prevail.
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What are your experiences with people being mean towards you (without seemingly any reason)?
People have hated my lightheartedness my whole life
The first time I responded differently to the meanness of a group of people at work felt SO GOOD! I had always thought, "Why do they treat me so badly? I don't deserve this." Then I realized, I don't sit around thinking about people to decide how I think they deserve to be treated by me. No one does that. They behaved based on who they are, not who I am. So when one from this group at work, glared at me with her hands on her hips, and demanded where the hell is so-and-so (which had nothing to do with my job, and I had no way of knowing). I looked at her pleasantly, cocked my head, and said, "You have the most beautiful and whitest teeth I have ever seen." She huffed and stormed away. I figured if she was going to be inappropriate to me, I would be inappropriate with her, only in a positive way. From that moment forward, it all changed.
Great topic and I've listened to this four times now. So many of the INFJ channels on RUclips are self-congratulating BS, but you are always totally right on about our weaknesses and our strengths. Thanks for all that you do for us.
It seems like people despise our kindness; I hate that.
This video is exactly what I needed to hear today. People and fam members being mean for no reason happens very often and in the past I have made excuses for it or worse internalize it. I still catch myself doing this but I’m more aware that I’m not the problem. I’m not going to let anyone dim my light anymore.
It’s easy.. just nothing people.. they really hate that
By doing this I was told that I look dark and intimidating, unaproachable. I guess that is fine as long as there is mutual respect. Pretending to also be shallow is almost impossible for me anyway. I do my own thing now
There’s nothing that has the potential to go sideways quite like believing someone else will make the same choices you make for the same reasons. Believing others share your morality and then will do the same you will is one of the dumbest things anyone can do. I learned this lesson many times, but one that sticks out happened when I was 20, living in a crappy apartment, had just cashed my paycheck, and went to do my laundry in the apartment laundry center. Totally forgot my cash was in my pocket, and when I ran down there to get it, someone had taken my clothes out of the wash, and the money was gone. I never would’ve taken that money, no matter how broke I was I wouldn’t have taken it. I was angry for a LONG time that someone took it, but learned that they are not me. I also had to do this without developing a sense of superiority, just accepting ppl for who they are. It’s a challenge when they take your whole paycheck though, especially when you were the one dumb enough to leave it in your pocket, LOL. I like to think nowadays, however, that I’m doing pretty well, and whoever took my money is probably still living in that same shitty apartment. It helps.
It took me until I was in my 40’s to figure this out, and I’m still putting these pieces of me together.
The projection thing makes a lot of sense when it comes to bullies. I think in the past, bullies have been mean to me because they assume that if they are doing something, I must be doing that as well, even when I'm my own person and may do different things than them. For example, one bully made the assumption that I was wild and drank and stuff when I'm not any of those things. I expect that kind of behavior in high school, but I found it to be more of a problem once I got into my thirties. I also look young for my age, so I have these awkward situations where guys in their twenties will bully me when I'm actually way older that them.
I have been devouring all your past videos...nobody explains it better ❤
6:50
The conscious and heavy silent treatment is what works best for me now. Since our "aura" does so much on its own, adding that "nothing" attitude drives people crazy.
1:02
:20 '...but this only happens, if we actually neglect ourselves...'
I was going through sheets one day. I regret not staying home. I just needed the money. So, I went to work despite feeling like I want to vanice from the office. Our boss was the only one who sensed something wrong and asked me if I was okay which she doesn't usually ask on random days.
The question is : how to be ourselves ?
This has been my experience. It can be uncomfortable at first as you explained, however because I have learned to build myself up, my confidence etc... and it helps since I typically navigate the world on my own, that once you do, it's powerful. Indifference kicks in too. It's like, especially with new people - like, it can go either way even with older relationships as well. I think people really can feel that indifference too 🤷🏾♀
Well, I posted this on the last similar video Try this at work... hold your head and shoulders high. SLOW down. Walk-talk- interact PURPOSEFULLY. Get your favorite song stuck in your head and operate all day based on the rhythm inside that no one else can hear. We are not talking arrogance- just recognizing your true value and learning how to control your breathing, posture, body movements and finally, verbal language. As you go about your normal doings, pretend you just put on your favorite pair of headphones and mix tape, TOOK Arnold's black leather jacket from the Terminator and begin effortlessly rocking your day. When you present this energy, nobody's gonna wanna fuck with you. Jeffrey Z. in SC