It’s not that easy to just leave when it’s a spiritually abusive church. My husband slandered me constantly until I was kicked out. My children sided with him and the church because I was “in rebellion against authority and was an independent thinker”. Of course then comes the divorce papers from him because he wanted it and the ministry backed him up. I had to move out of the house and find a job after being a stay at home mom for 22 years. Then he got sick and died and I have 3 children that still attend and have no contact with me at all because they were counseled to do that. The members are told in every message they hear that those who have ever been members and then leave are Laodicean and they will lose their eternal lives if they don’t repent. So it’s very difficult to leave when you’re in it. Thankfully I was put out and then I could see from a different perspective and begin to heal. Although with my kids still being in, it is hard to be done with it and forget about it.
Thanks for sharing, although I'm so sorry to hear your story. It's a perfect example of the devastating effect of this kind of teaching. I'm glad you left, but it must be very hard with your children still there. In a way, you ARE still there... not being able to fully separate yourself from the impact. I agree that it's hard to leave. Check out this video on the nine reasons that people stay... ruclips.net/video/5DK0unMtYXw/видео.html
This is really good. I have been praying about how to transition safely from a abusive Church system to a safe one. I wonder if a safe church is even a thing, and if there will always be sociopaths, narcs, and pychopaths at church and I just have to learn to set boundaries so I'm not a target anymore. We just left an abusive church a year ago...and am struggling to find healthy Christians that build, rather than tear down. It can be confusing and hurtful when the bible talks of love, and building up, and encouraging one another when instead I keep rubbing up against sand paper Christians who seem bent on manipulation, tearing down, contempt, and using their words as sword thrusts rather than to heal.
"Sand paper Christians." That's good. I'm sorry to hear about your experience. The church needs to change if it wants to fulfill the mission of Jesus. There are good churches out there but you have to choose wisely. Yes, good boundaries are a must. Go slow. Thanks for writing.
I understand you on so many levels! I’m now traumatized to even hear the words, “ church, pastor, obey” and so many more. It’s really sad, but I have made the decision to heal, by any and EVERY means necessary! That’s why I’m looking at this video. My disdain for this nonsense at church is drawing a wedge between my husband and me because his eyes are blinded to the ridiculousness that is and has been taking place, and he doesn’t believe me. I was afraid of losing my husband at first, but now, I just say to the LORD, “ Thy will be done!” God loves me more than anyone ever could, and He will give me all of the right people and things in my life. One thing’s for sure, this ordeal has certainly made my spiritual discernment more heightened and has drawn me so much more closer to God. He’s the only one I trust.
@@1LovedbyHim I'm sorry to hear about the tension in your marriage. This can happen when two people perceive the behavior differently. I hope you can work it out and both find freedom. Thanks for commenting.
Just found your channel. Over six decades dedicated to the church, and the last five years away from it. Thanks for shining some light in the darkness.
This is right I went too my family church and it’s narcissistic abuse and spiritual abuse and religious trauma and I lost my mom last year that was narcissistic and I suffer from ptsd
Dr how can I get your book and can you mail it to Australia? Can I get online councling as well ,God bless you your a God send ! Many desperately need to hear this in Australia! So many broken people and self righteous spirit with greed and control flooding the churches I want so bad as a Christian woman that is recovering from this in the past to help my church,but I had to step away and it's hard when you feel all alone . I am from USA and some think I'm a intruder :( or s stupid Yankee here . I have been a Christian for 35 years ! Seen some horrific things , even went though fake healing for myself and end up injured badly with a concussion :( My grandmother was also a victim up untill she was 93 and went to be with Jesus . These councilors don't have training for those in cults or spiritual abuse in Australia cause they throw blinders on it . It's getting rediciculous here . I can't find a church without strange fire in it ! I have lost many family and friends from this N.A.R new apostolic reformation stuff . Like Kenneth Copeland. It's getting worse , heavy shepherding, women not staying in the Word . I have tried to call it out they shut me down . I realized this is not my battle it's the Lord's ! Finding your channel has helped me find Peace in Jesus knowing it's ok to leave it is abuse to us sheep :( thsnk you God Bless you . 🇦🇺
Thanks for all your comments on many of my videos! I'm sorry to hear about what's going on in Australia. My books are available on Amazon. Do you have it there? If it's too expensive to ship, maybe you can download the Kindle or Audio version? You can get the audio version on Amazon.com or Audible.com. Also, go to my website at readingremy.com to schedule an online coaching session. I'm glad my videos have been an encouragement to you.
Yes, it feels like God doesn't love me. Like they are in such good terms with God and represent God in a considerable way. Unlike me. They are doing a lot of good things. They have taught me a number of good things and I got my breakthrough. (it wasn't there as much without starting to try receive my deliverance they preached a lot about. 100%) It feels like I'm a little person, just a nutshell. But I was thinking... Despite of the fact that I'm not a pastor or anything like this, not preaching, my rule has been to try not hurt a person in anyway. At least as long as I don't know about their ill intentions, biography. Not hurting them, even if I know they are some kind of a narcissist themselves. Not saying and not doing anything that could impact them. Try to be empathetic to every single person where I can be it and where it's not threatening me. Which some pastors don't see as necessary. They walk over people. It's unlikely I'm the only and only who have been there with that church. Just the statistics and logics. And it's poisoning our lives... Which they likely don't even take into consideration. They don't take the biography of a person into consideration. The future suffering of this person because of their words or actions I try to think of the times with God where I felt God and didn't know that church yet
You have more going for you than you realize. If Jesus lives within you, he's fighting for you. He values you. If you aren't in a place that values you, look for a new place. Thanks for sharing.
Its hard to leave a church that we’ve been to for 21 years but thanks to a narcissistic pastor of 3 years we’re about to.
Yes. Extremely hard... so many memories... so many friends. But you can't validate abuse. God's best to you in this journey.
🙏
It’s not that easy to just leave when it’s a spiritually abusive church. My husband slandered me constantly until I was kicked out. My children sided with him and the church because I was “in rebellion against authority and was an independent thinker”. Of course then comes the divorce papers from him because he wanted it and the ministry backed him up. I had to move out of the house and find a job after being a stay at home mom for 22 years. Then he got sick and died and I have 3 children that still attend and have no contact with me at all because they were counseled to do that. The members are told in every message they hear that those who have ever been members and then leave are Laodicean and they will lose their eternal lives if they don’t repent. So it’s very difficult to leave when you’re in it. Thankfully I was put out and then I could see from a different perspective and begin to heal. Although with my kids still being in, it is hard to be done with it and forget about it.
Thanks for sharing, although I'm so sorry to hear your story. It's a perfect example of the devastating effect of this kind of teaching. I'm glad you left, but it must be very hard with your children still there. In a way, you ARE still there... not being able to fully separate yourself from the impact. I agree that it's hard to leave. Check out this video on the nine reasons that people stay... ruclips.net/video/5DK0unMtYXw/видео.html
This is really good. I have been praying about how to transition safely from a abusive Church system to a safe one. I wonder if a safe church is even a thing, and if there will always be sociopaths, narcs, and pychopaths at church and I just have to learn to set boundaries so I'm not a target anymore. We just left an abusive church a year ago...and am struggling to find healthy Christians that build, rather than tear down. It can be confusing and hurtful when the bible talks of love, and building up, and encouraging one another when instead I keep rubbing up against sand paper Christians who seem bent on manipulation, tearing down, contempt, and using their words as sword thrusts rather than to heal.
"Sand paper Christians." That's good. I'm sorry to hear about your experience. The church needs to change if it wants to fulfill the mission of Jesus. There are good churches out there but you have to choose wisely. Yes, good boundaries are a must. Go slow. Thanks for writing.
I understand you on so many levels! I’m now traumatized to even hear the words, “ church, pastor, obey” and so many more. It’s really sad, but I have made the decision to heal, by any and EVERY means necessary! That’s why I’m looking at this video.
My disdain for this nonsense at church is drawing a wedge between my husband and me because his eyes are blinded to the ridiculousness that is and has been taking place, and he doesn’t believe me. I was afraid of losing my husband at first, but now, I just say to the LORD, “ Thy will be done!” God loves me more than anyone ever could, and He will give me all of the right people and things in my life.
One thing’s for sure, this ordeal has certainly made my spiritual discernment more heightened and has drawn me so much more closer to God. He’s the only one I trust.
@@1LovedbyHim I'm sorry to hear about the tension in your marriage. This can happen when two people perceive the behavior differently. I hope you can work it out and both find freedom. Thanks for commenting.
@@FRemyD Thank you!
Will you please pray for us Christians in Australia 🇦🇺 we will pray for you in USA
Yes, and thank you.
Just found your channel. Over six decades dedicated to the church, and the last five years away from it. Thanks for shining some light in the darkness.
Glad you found me, Ron. It sounds like you have some stories you could tell. Thanks for commenting here.
God bless this channel !🕊️🇦🇺
He seems to be blessing it! I hope you'll share it with others.
This is right I went too my family church and it’s narcissistic abuse and spiritual abuse and religious trauma and I lost my mom last year that was narcissistic and I suffer from ptsd
Sorry to hear this Darren. I hope you can find the path to healing. I'm sorry to hear about losing your mom too.
Remy. This is spot on. Im glad i found your channel! 🙌
Awesome! Thank you for the feedback.
Thank you for sharing this! Recovering my life back!
Great to hear! Thanks for letting me know.
@@FRemyD reading the book as we speak.
@@themakingofLatoya Oh, great! Let me know what you think.
Dr how can I get your book and can you mail it to Australia? Can I get online councling as well ,God bless you your a God send ! Many desperately need to hear this in Australia! So many broken people and self righteous spirit with greed and control flooding the churches I want so bad as a Christian woman that is recovering from this in the past to help my church,but I had to step away and it's hard when you feel all alone . I am from USA and some think I'm a intruder :( or s stupid Yankee here . I have been a Christian for 35 years ! Seen some horrific things , even went though fake healing for myself and end up injured badly with a concussion :(
My grandmother was also a victim up untill she was 93 and went to be with Jesus . These councilors don't have training for those in cults or spiritual abuse in Australia cause they throw blinders on it . It's getting rediciculous here . I can't find a church without strange fire in it ! I have lost many family and friends from this N.A.R new apostolic reformation stuff . Like Kenneth Copeland. It's getting worse , heavy shepherding, women not staying in the Word . I have tried to call it out they shut me down . I realized this is not my battle it's the Lord's ! Finding your channel has helped me find Peace in Jesus knowing it's ok to leave it is abuse to us sheep :( thsnk you God Bless you . 🇦🇺
Thanks for all your comments on many of my videos! I'm sorry to hear about what's going on in Australia. My books are available on Amazon. Do you have it there? If it's too expensive to ship, maybe you can download the Kindle or Audio version? You can get the audio version on Amazon.com or Audible.com. Also, go to my website at readingremy.com to schedule an online coaching session. I'm glad my videos have been an encouragement to you.
Yes, it feels like God doesn't love me. Like they are in such good terms with God and represent God in a considerable way. Unlike me. They are doing a lot of good things. They have taught me a number of good things and I got my breakthrough. (it wasn't there as much without starting to try receive my deliverance they preached a lot about. 100%) It feels like I'm a little person, just a nutshell.
But I was thinking... Despite of the fact that I'm not a pastor or anything like this, not preaching, my rule has been to try not hurt a person in anyway. At least as long as I don't know about their ill intentions, biography. Not hurting them, even if I know they are some kind of a narcissist themselves. Not saying and not doing anything that could impact them. Try to be empathetic to every single person where I can be it and where it's not threatening me.
Which some pastors don't see as necessary. They walk over people. It's unlikely I'm the only and only who have been there with that church. Just the statistics and logics. And it's poisoning our lives... Which they likely don't even take into consideration. They don't take the biography of a person into consideration. The future suffering of this person because of their words or actions
I try to think of the times with God where I felt God and didn't know that church yet
You have more going for you than you realize. If Jesus lives within you, he's fighting for you. He values you. If you aren't in a place that values you, look for a new place. Thanks for sharing.
❤
Glad you liked it!