To practice the " Be Tough and suck it up(the pain that is)" attitude. This seemingly works. It seemingly works for what goal has to be reached. However, as we get older, this teaching gets ingrained in our subconsciousness. Then there will come a time when the " tough" teaching is not needed anymore but you tend to still practice it. Sadly, if unaware of this unconscious default, one could end up chronically stressed with no real reason for it and you'll be living in your head instead of your heart
Yes! I really feel this in my life now. Having entered my 50s, it can still be so hard to shake the hard learned and long practiced attitudes/narratives of the past. And often they remain a source of suffering.
You mention the fact of a person having intrinsic worth for just being human, however I was raised Catholic and told that you had no worth outside of your value as being good enough according to your efforts to God and your parents. It would take a long time to believe that you had such worth if you were raised to believe that you couldn't earn it without the church's approval of you.
Yes, you make a great point. Our experiences growing up can be very powerful in terms of self-worth and self-compassion. Religion, culture, family environment, and so many other contextual factors during childhood can shape our sense of self and our sense of self-worth, and we can feel very stuck. With time and practice we can sometimes shift these feelings, but it’s hard. As Kristin said, if we can begin with moments of self-compassion, becoming aware of our own suffering, knowing we are not alone, and then offering ourselves kindness, then we can begin to ease our own suffering and move towards growth and flourishing.
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To practice the " Be Tough and suck it up(the pain that is)" attitude. This seemingly works. It seemingly works for what goal has to be reached.
However, as we get older, this teaching gets ingrained in our subconsciousness. Then there will come a time when the " tough" teaching is not needed anymore but you tend to still practice it.
Sadly, if unaware of this unconscious default, one could end up chronically stressed with no real reason for it and you'll be living in your head instead of your heart
Yes! I really feel this in my life now. Having entered my 50s, it can still be so hard to shake the hard learned and long practiced attitudes/narratives of the past. And often they remain a source of suffering.
Great and I have listened to your interview with Chris Germer many times!
Oh fantastic!! Great to hear, and thanks!
❤❤❤
You mention the fact of a person having intrinsic worth for just being human, however I was raised Catholic and told that you had no worth outside of your value as being good enough according to your efforts to God and your parents. It would take a long time to believe that you had such worth if you were raised to believe that you couldn't earn it without the church's approval of you.
Yes, you make a great point. Our experiences growing up can be very powerful in terms of self-worth and self-compassion. Religion, culture, family environment, and so many other contextual factors during childhood can shape our sense of self and our sense of self-worth, and we can feel very stuck. With time and practice we can sometimes shift these feelings, but it’s hard. As Kristin said, if we can begin with moments of self-compassion, becoming aware of our own suffering, knowing we are not alone, and then offering ourselves kindness, then we can begin to ease our own suffering and move towards growth and flourishing.