“Sometimes I Was Quite Nasty…”
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- What sort of "persona" or mask do rockstars develop while they're in the music industry? What really went down during those feuds with Lemmy and Noel Gallagher? Allow me to explain.
This clip was taken from Episode 1 of my JHRA Podcast with my producer Jenny May Finn - you can watch the episode in full here: • Is Being Famous A Form...
#jhra #justinhawkins #musicindustry
This is a dope conversation. Adults need help, kids need help, be vulnerable, even without the answers, show more of this.
You seem like a nice guy, someone I know has met you and they said you were a nice guy who gave them time out of your life to talk to them. Carry on being you because being you is enough. x
That was really nice to hear and of you to say. I’d love to meet Justin one day. We’re the same age and have a lot in common.
Cheers!
That being said, you can imagine every single day someone wanting to talk to you constantly and being human, if you didn’t speak to someone or were in a situation, that wouldn’t mean they weren’t good people!
He is just so damn watchable.
Maybe I’m being conned but he comes across as really decent human being.
Few people are as reflective about themselves as JH is.
I didn't realize who he was when I first started watching him, and I was hooked. Then, it hit me several months later - hey, wait - that's the dude from The Darkness. lolol.
We are so removed from people these days I have a feeling there are lots of good people out there. I just never meet them. I’m walled off
Not sure, he's got a bit of the self-indulgent Russell Brand vibe about him.
@@Richard_Straker I mean hes like an actual rockstar, he was a drug addled sex lunatic with a great voice and now he's older, sober and mellowed out a bit. He's still got that rockstar ego or whatever you'd call it but I don't think he comes across like a cunt
@@Lola_Santoro The same thing happened to me! Cheers!
Dry for 6 years now (heavy drinker for 30+ years). The really tough part for me was finding out who I really was once the madness ended. Still working on it every day. I really don't like recovery "catch phrases" or terms but if there's one thing that really stuck with me, it is the constant personal inventory. Not beating yourself up but really stepping back for a greater perspective at a constant pace. Every day, all day. I believe that did the trick for me.
Massive love for doing that. I worry about the exact same thing. I've been trying for the last 10 years to get dry. Hoping this year will finally be it.
@@AntonyStrus well done you, I thought I was doing well in recovery but unfortunately circumstances made me return to it. I hope you continue to keep it up.
“When someone’s nice to me, I’m nice back. When someone’s mean to me I’m nice back.”
Excellent advice, it would be wonderful if everyone could be like that. I love this man and his wisdom. ❤
Everyone's hard wired differently. Ever since I was a kid I tend to "mirror" those around me, but I never go out of my way to be an ass. If people are kind to me, I'm the best friend they ever had. If people think they can play me, I blow them right off and they think I'm an ass. But the thing is I just don't bother to waste my energy on them. So in that way I'm not really an ass, I'm just being nice without saying anything. I do think Justin has it in him to go off on someone though. It comes thru in some of his backhanded, but hilarious comments about things. His recent stab at his ex kinda shocked me. For his daughter's sake, we could have lived without hearing that. Although I'd be all ears to listen to him go on about it in private.
@@creamwobbly Then you haven't heard of mind control. Hormones just get caught in the mix.
This conversation just blew my mind. I realised I’m very similar and totally relate to this. I’m gonna be thinking about this all day. That’s no bad thing. Some man Justin. Thank you for sharing. More power to you!
It’s funny how you’ve cut this section from the long form interview. This was my absolute favourite part of the interview. I think you are lovely, and I love the way that your channel is reaching people. You’re doing a great job.
Justin is great, really enjoy his content, insightful, thoughtful and always honest
The reason to make music/art whitout having an audience is simply not losing your mind and keeping on doing what you feel you've destined yourself to do.
True, but also is a conversation between you and your self as interesting? Most us musicians do say it's for me and it is, but me personally the human connection of pub gigs I've experienced is the best thing in the world. It's genuine expression, and people are validating that by enjoying it, you are creating a good time, and let's face it, artists often are seen by society as useless until they blow up, so that is very cathartic.
@@avgriffin I see your point and I also agree. But I have a few reserves about that Artist-Audience connection and what it actually is, but I'll keep it to myself. I will share though, that I personally enjoy writing the most. I write in the hope that the next song is gonna be better than the last, one day if the music gets to be great and also have that component that "talks" to people then the big audience will come. Writing music is one hell of an addiction aswell. Also for us as a band, playing abroad is what we enjoy the most, so we book ourselves some small tours far away from germany and europe and enjoy the combination of travelling and gigging a lot. More than anything I feel that by sharing experiences the band grows stronger together. That is to me the best part of playing live, doing it with people I enjoy being with, that I cherish and trust.
@@musicsurfandrats the community aspect ah I see. That is my number one too. But the giving part you guys do as a collective still does good even if its two people or 20 or loas on the internet hearing it on record or live. I think like plays there is sometyhing special about that . Great hearing from ya interesting perspective given you been about with it
@@musicsurfandrats my notification showed you said something about the tragedy that is how hard getting a pub gig is. Absolutely right I;m from Ireland its never been rougher. Hope the scene is better by summer
@@avgriffin yes getting a place to gig is becoming very difficult and I totally agree that if we can brighten someone's day with our music that's priceless for them and us. Keep on rocking mate!
What a great watch. Justin, I think you are extremely likable. You always make me feel happy 💙
Sometimes I think to myself "Why am I so nice to people who are assholes to me?" and the way Justin explained it about how he deals with mean people, after all this time I finally understand why my brain is wired not to be an ass back to people who are mean. It really bothered me sometimes that I couldn't be that malicious in return.
Yeah my wife doesn't understand. I do the same thing. I just don't want put the energy into a feud. It's not important enough to me
@dave u don't think they don't know. Its a powerful tool. I get paid to be verbally and physically abused, throw in some kindness and they don't know what you are capable of. Those shouting ones, nasty, threatening give away everything.
You can tell Justin is an alright guy by how at ease his producer is.
I just had a whole therapy session today discussing exactly the topic of feeling like I'm performing in front of other people like if I were on stage all the time and dropping the mask just when I wanted to. Thank you Justin, your channel is truly a blessing
“All the world is a stage”
I really like what he said because he does everything that I do with people.
It's not a game, it's not a mask, it's navigating social interaction.
And I also write songs and post them and I've had people ask, why do you do that?
Because imagine if nobody did that…
First of all it's fun to create and put it out there and yes, possibly get some feedback but it doesn't matter if you do or you don't.
Also, if nobody put their stuff out there, nobody would have anything to inspire them or influence and shape their own creativity and imagination.
You're "that guy" at parties.
… Who doesn't do well with tolerating pointless conversation.
@@DanFedMusic.. And who has not yet mastered the slinky segue. A valiant effort, but I've seen sarcasm more deftly applied by a goat's anus.
I have to admit you are quite gregarious. I've never been the biggest fan of the darkness. But for some reason, I got hooked on this RUclips channel. Definitely a quick-witted hilarious fellow. And it's damn hard to dislike you. Although I'm still not the biggest fan of the darkness, I have a newfound appreciation for your abilities. And I have a feeling that I'm not the only one. Some evidence that fact just may be your subscribers for this channel is more than doubled the subscribers for the darkness RUclips channel. You're just so damn likable. I didn't want to like you either. I don't know how this happened. You're just very interesting, and your views make a lot of sense with more than a hint of humor. You're like the intellectual, extremely more likable and presentable version of David Lee roth but with actual musical ability and an actual amazing voice.
I think that your being nice is a superpower and one of the many reasons that I, for one, follow your career. There should be more niceness in the world. It would definitely make it a better place. One person at a time makes all the difference. Keep shining brightly. ❤
I think this was such a good video. Really real and touching on something uncomfortable but understanding how and why you act a particular way.
I like the conversation/podcast format with you both in smaller segments like this. I thought this was interesting and it kept my attention all the way through. I wouldn't mind hearing an anecdote about another famous person like Lemmy. You have perspective there that most of will never get. But, it is still an interesting conversation without any "gossip." From I Heart Huckabees, there's the line "How am I not myself?" With each conscious action we are inventing ourselves and I suppose not even we know what actions are authentic.
In terms of the longer formats, I love your conversation with Rick Beato. I like to hear you talk about guitar, songwriting, and music in general. Cheers!
This was such an interesting conversation, and I quite like your producer. She’s a smart one.
Yeah she's a gem too, should definitely be on more often.
@@barrymitchell6444 I find you strange for finding her strange *throws down gauntlet*
@@barrymitchell6444 absolutely
She is a smart one for sure 🙌
Thelma from Scooby Doo was strangely sexy here
Thank you for this. That was a really interesting conversation. I haven’t drawn any conclusions myself but it’s great brain food to chew on for a while!
Lots of people who perform say that their need for validation comes from their musical, acting background (name your cliche) but I think they forget to carry the one, that always sounds more glamorous and less dirty than saying my parents were absent or I was unpopular at school, thus got in to performing thus got in to fame and all its vices. I include myself in this. But the root is always deeper.
We can act from an unconscious place sometimes, esp. when we're younger, I'm still processing how blind my narcissism made me in my 20s and 30s.
In your early 20s it's entirely normative for your narcissism to "blind" you, as your prefrontal cortex isn't yet fully wired into the lower brain until about the age of 25 (even later if you're a male). The prefrontal cortex is the part of your brain that helps you think about consequences before acting and/or speaking...and not just about consequences for yourself, but also consequences for others.
Now, if you've been diagnosed with NPD or covert narcissism as an adult, it's unlikely you will ever be capable of feeling empathy for others because narcissists can't handle the 10 years of slow therapy it takes to peel those uber fragile layers of onion skin to accept that your own parents never loved your unconditionally and only loved you performatively (and when you performed well/in a manner that brought them narcissistic supply as your parent). If it's just that you're high in narcissistic traits, there's hope.
@@le_th_ just here to say, fair play, great, informative comment
Exactly the performance is being yourself and that cames naturally the anger comes as a mirror to how you are treated
I write my own music that hardly anybody listens to but I just love doing it. I love the whole something from nothing type scenario and it always blows my mind when I listen back to what I've recorded knowing I created it!. I'd love for other people to listen but it's not the main objective so doesn't dissuade me. It's just what I like to do I suppose and a sonic route to resolve my guitar obsession!! 👍
THANK YOU JUSTIN!!! Been waiting and asking for your input on the Lemmy situation for along time, thank you
🎶"To be yourself is all that you can do"...🎶 (I ❤ that song)
It's impossible to please the entire world and I think it's OK as long as one disagrees with respect. In fact, I'll try to apply in some situations your view about being nice whether the other part is also nice or not (I tend to be more action-reaction) because it's true that sometimes if you smile, your beloved ones will be happy as they'll see you fine, and also people who hate you will be worse as they'll see you fine.
I'm looking forward the next episode of the broadcast!😍
There’re nothing wrong with being the good guy of British rock mate! You’ve managed to be a genuine rock band with funny members as opposed to a cartoon rock band. Well played and rock on Sir!
I wish I could meet him. I will validate that he seems like such a approachable man. And in my life and addiction he speaks so much truth and validation of not just fame...but life in General. Cheers Justin! been a fan for years and hope you see this to know that one true fan is so much better than 100 posers
Hello, I've started playing guitar, I found your channel, and I thought what a weird guy but I keep watching then I decided to listen to the darkness. My first song was "I Believe In A Thing Called Love" I fell in love immediately with your music. THANK YOU
Thanks Fred!
Justin Fucking Hawkins Rides Againnnnn!! 🎶🎶🎸
For comments day thanks on the channel again Justin. Me and my wife saw you in Cardiff in January and you absolutely owned it, can't wait to see you guys again. Can you show me how you do that guitar playing behind your back also any chance of getting your thoughts or a review on Status quo in the future
You had me at potato storage room.
Right. Only Justin Hawkins.
Did you like it?
Don’t you have a potato storage room? I thought everyone did?
@@burkezillar I have always lacked ambition
@@burkezillar I believe it’s called a pantry my mother has one a small cold room off of the kitchen
That like-ability worked for me for sooo long. Then I remember realizing that it wasn't working anymore. I wasn't as cute as I used to be in my 20's and early 30's. My friends and fans had finally grown tired of putting their necks on the line for me only to have me make fools of them. It was unfortunately still several years before that really sunk in. Those were the REALLY destructive years. The years that my relationships suffered the most damage. I really enjoy these conversations between you two. They are the conversations that are the most healing for me to contemplate and get involved in. Thank you, Justin. Thank you, Jenny. :)
Love your podcast! Could you maybe tell your story about the time you met Lemmy? Dave Grohl once told a story about how he pranked you by calling Lemmy to come to a club where you were as well while you had a sort of feud with him. Would love to hear your view about that story!
That's what I was hoping this would be from the thumbnail
I also work in IT and you do develop a certain public persona (whilst problem solving under pressure) which is still a lot of who I am but dialed back. Even when performing and playing music it's a public / performing face where it's a high pressure but also rewarding situation. I'm basically rambling but what I mean is that there's no time to be someone you/re not- I am basically showing different levels of myself depending on the situation. I have not done any press or the like so can only imagine but again I could only really be myself but down a few levels!
In response to your comments about why people make art - the biggest thing definitely is that you want it to be heard, especially if you like it yourself, and if you’re an artist for the most part, you want to make a career out of it. BUT, for me, I’ve always written music to soothe my inner angst, to make sense of the world, and to tell the truth in its most purest and expressive form. It’s perfect when people hear it and validate it, but that never stops me from loving it with all my heart. I wrote a song about an ex who I had not let go of for over 3 years, and since I wrote it, and released it, I feel like I’ve moved on from that part of my life.
You have proven me right, lve always thought of you as great guy, as well as a great musician ❤
I must say that I prefer your short podcasts, Justin. I can listen daily for ten to fifteen minutes, but longer is more difficult.
Justin, the bloke I'd invite for a coffee whilst watching the football on the TV, and keep the conversation on anything else but football ( our artistic fields, guitars, cars and all the other topics). You do come across as good spirited, humorous and a genuinely nice guy. 👍🏼
Does he even like football?
@@CrueLoaf he does indeed. I believe he supports Norwich City.
@@michaelfoley906 football and rock n roll should never ever mix! 😂
Bravo, Justin. Bravo for your sobriety, and for your openness! Be well.
Nice one. You're a decent chap and it's not easy to 'grow up' in a rock band.
Why we write music, or novels or paint is fascinating. I think of myself as a writer, but I've only written one book. It was published and hardly sold any copies. I wonder almost every day why I write, both in respect of what's the point and literally why am I doing it? I'm not sure I could even say I enjoy doing it.
I like writing, and i usually do. I'm blogger, even though my blog is almost only read by my friends 😅... but the fact is the reason because someone writes. In my case it is only becase i need to express myself, and i don't do waiting to be read by someone else. I have tried to write in long format, i mean novel, etc... but i have never get to finish anyrhing, i read it again, time later, and simply remove it... well now that i do by computer because in the past when i used to write on paper i threw it...
Well the thing is that my only reason to writing is express myself, my thoughts, my fears... and i supose that in some part creating art is the same...
List the title or have a link. Sir I will buy it. Keep writing.
@@edwardcoit9748 You are very kind. My book is called The Beginning of the End, and my name is Ian Parkinson. It's a very dark novel though.
@@bigmaryhelen
Ian,
Thanks for responding with the information. I will most definitely get your book. Also thanks for the brief description, I prefer non-fiction, but know many who would appreciate the darker side of literature. Congratulations on your first book.
@@edwardcoit9748 Thank you for your kind words, Edward. It seems like a long time ago since I wrote it.
This part of the broadcast/podcast is really interesting ❤
I viewed this for the first time in the full length 'Justin Hawkins Rides Again: The Jaws Of Victory: Pitfalls Of The Music Trade: Extrapolating On The James Hetfield Addicted to Fame Episode From A Few Weeks Ago - Episode 01 of the long form JHRA - and watching this snippet again, only makes me crave the next instalment with the broadcasting legend that is Jenny May Fin! Maybe the extra long titles could be a feature of the long forms? Ha ha I love it. Can't wait for the next one. I could watch JMF switching cameras all day! Nice one guys. Rock n Roll ✌🏼
"Somebody's got to look at it, somebody has to listen to it". Not necessarily, in my opinion. If you are using your creative talent to make money and make a living, then yes, I agree. Other peoples approval IS important in that situation. However, if you love creating just for yourself and your well-being, your creations CAN be put aside. The amount of unfinished WIPS (works in progress) I have, is fast filling up my craft room. I also have a very large collection of finished projects. It doesn't matter though...at least to me. I'm always looking out for the next challenge!
It's the art of 'creating' that inspires me and keeps me passionate about life. Nice one both, loved the first podcast xxx
I can relate to what was said - but for me personally, because I am one that cannot stomach lies because I hear it everyday on the constant from everyone so it makes me want to be more honest in my words and I have found that THIS has worked for me throughout the major part of my adult life. To be str8 honest in your words ppl can hear it and depending upon how strong your conviction is to your truths - you can get whatever you want, sometimes. So when a douchebag that I know either has taken steps to try to make my life harder in any way whether that be by actions or words - trust n believe when we meet you will know where we stand simply by my honesty and in the end tho it may not be to your liking, you would at the very least, appreciate my honesty to you amongst the rest of the lies you may hear that day.
Also on the subject of "drinking". I used to drink Jack Daniels like a fish in my 20's, drank 40's like a fish in my 40's and when my wife said 'Lets have kids!', we just stopped drinking altogether for a year with not even thinking about it twice and after 2 healthy beautiful babies 11 mnths apart, we went out one nite to celebrate some free time and had a beer after 3yrs and could have give or taken it - but we never really went back to drinking like we did back in the day and I dunno it as pretty easy for me, much easier than cigarettes which I quit a zillion years ago after smoking since I was 16. Coffee!... now thats a different animal.
I love your point about as an artist you create for those that want to listen. A great juxtaposition to your mantra would be Jamiroquai.
He made music for everyone until he made enough money to make what he wants.
He has continued to record for years but its only for him. I'd love to see a meet between you discussing that.
You create it because it feels good. Feels good to be unique. Special. Doesn’t matter if anyone hears it. It didn’t exist until you created it. But….. if someone heard it…. maybe they’d change the world. 🕊❤️🤘⚡️⚡️🤘
I am glad you covered Ren a few times. Brilliant! It brought me to and got me a bit familiar with your channel, as I am sure it has done for other. Thank you, I am now a subscriber, and keep riding on Sir Hawkins!
6:51 The orange cup, of this episode, appears. You are welcome, in advance! I didn't want people to go looking for, as one would, and not be able to find it. I almost missed it myself, and we all know what that would have meant.
P.S. My very anticipated RUclips video "Orange cup light refraction, and how it works. More or Less.", will be out tomorrow. You can buy your tickets at your local ticket office. Don't miss it!
Just heard my Mrs singing "Justin Hawkins rides again" from downstairs. She doesn't even watch the show.😂 That's an ear worm right there, I've even heard Uncle Larry sing it on one of his episodes!!!❤
Obviously I don’t know you personally but watching this fantastic channel, you do come across as very likeable.
Greetings from Brazil! Sorry to divert from the topic of this video, but as I was watching an older video in which you explain the use of The Darkness music on School of Rock, I just couldn't (and still can't) stop thinking how cool it'd a British version of this particular movie with you playing Jack Black's original role. Vinnie Jones ought to be in it too. PS: Don't forget my cut when this whole thing
is put together.
Loving this! Set time aside to listen✊🏾
I’m a barber and musician of 15 years and I totally live by that philosophy of always be nice, regardless of what you know, think or feel about the person you’re engaging with. If that is your natural character and you take pride in your intelligence, you will never feel the need to mirror the actions of a renowned bad person (arsehole). I can safely say it’s absolutely carried my life to great heights and I’m so grateful I took my dads advice as a kid of “kill em with kindness!”. Awesome content and very insightful! Thank you Justin.
I know what you mean about being a likable person. I’ve known some very likable people, that I was great friends with, and those people would often get away with behaviors that you wouldn’t tolerate at all from someone a little less charming.
I don’t know if there’s much to be done for it. The folks who do it don’t know they’re doing it, and those on the receiving end usually don’t add it up.
Being a human being is about grace. We all learn and grow and make mistakes and then we die and grow pretty flowers. Gotta do what you can when you can.
Cheers, JH.
Justin,you are always nice and i love the way you talk about yourself! So open hearted! Thank you! Jenny describes you perfectly! ❤
'you can be the creator and the audience '...so true. I can say that about the poetry I write 😂😅
I tend to believe some people are driven to create stuff simply due to the joy they experience through the creative process. It's not about the finished product; whether it's "art" or not is for others to decide. If an offshoot of the creations turns into something that can be monetized--all the better! But the driving force on the part of the art-teest is sometimes simply *creating* the thing. I love this channel!
Wow I love your Queen tattoos on your fingers! That’s amazing, they are so good!
I'm 4 years and 7 months clean. Keep up the great work Justin!
Unfortunately, despite i saw him 3 times, i never had the chance to shake his hand and look him "in the eyes" as he say. But I never saw the mask during the whole 20 years i follow them... i always saw the brillant artist and performer... "A Son of Freddie", and when I learned his passion for Freddie and Queen, it was a sign for me that i was true. You cannot write such guitar lines, or such lyrics or perform like Justin, if you are not "touched" by God Freddie magic gift. He just needed to be understood. Nobody is alone completly. ❤
I play to entertain myself. When younger I saw learning and playing as a dinner ticket or to make myself more than just my trade. I like it when people like what I do but not as much as I did when younger. Your a great guy whose equally entertaining educating and admirable.
I hated rehab. But the thought of ever going back to one, and the thought of my parents thinking I was a drunk when they passed did the trick eventually.
remember meeting u at a football thing thought u was true gentleman, loving these podcasts too one of the best music ones about keep it up
Nice One! This really, really was a nice one to watch.
My own urge to create art is about communicating parts of myself to the world that I cant in words , and wanting to offer some beauty or solice to other people - to connect to them through that. I am sure there is a need for validation in there too....if they can love my art, which is part of me, then part of me is confirmed as lovable.
You busted your ass to get better, you recognize now what you couldn’t then and that’s a huge win! Fantastic.
This was great, astute, funny and natural. Brilliant start
29 months sober.
Hardest yet best time in my life all odaat, life on life's terms.
Justin, if I make a painting of a bird, or whatever, I made the painting because *I* wanted to try to paint it. I don't care if anyone else sees it. It's the process that counts as much as the result, for me. When I was young, me and my friends fronted as hard-asses wearing our NYPD(Ramones)leather jackets, but inside we were all mooshes. We were all sweethearts really, but we looked and were punk AF.
Justin is someone who knows himself really well....he's not trying to find himself.
I do love these conversations.
🤗
To throw something in that wasn’t mentioned about “why make music?”, a big part about it is the journey and process of making the music. The process of making a lackluster song could be amazing and make it an amazing song to the artist because of the impact the journey/process had on them (since the end result is only part of the equation), but to someone who only sees the end product and wasn’t part of the journey/process of making the song, they only see it as lackluster because they don’t see the full picture.
When you're nice to someone who is trying to start shit, it really pisses them off. 😂
Proven fact!😁👍😉
yeah the 90's taught me when I started playing out back then that you had to have a feud. looking back it seems silly, but when you don't know any better you go with it.
I write because I love the end result of creating something that I and others may like, so yeah, seeking validation and praise. Then to create something with other band members is great as you create something together and all the connections that come with that. But I also write as a great form of self expression, to get shit out, a form of cleansing/therapy and if no one gets it, that's ok, 'cos it works for me.
There are lots of little hooks in this exchange to catch onto. Is someone in the household wanting to develop as a painter? How many paintings are there in the potato room? Will they open The Potato Room Gallery eventually? I think it was an act of love to give Nan and Granddad and Great Uncle those cassettes, and they established a sense of security in young Justin.
I think likeable insinuated agreeableness. Which can be an inefficient route to goals. It is disarming in a world that doesn’t sit comfortably with the idea that sometimes a bit of a scuffle is the only way to get to the truth.
Went to rehab for H use and I'm best buds w/ many of the ppl I met in there, write music w/ one now and get tattooed by another. I love them.
Doesn't matter if you don't have an audience to see or hear your art, it's about doing it for you.. And if others like it that's a bonus.. To me, wanting an audience comes off as being needy.
This was interesting to listen to and made me think about my interactions. Good stuff
The hardest part of getting sober, for me at least, is realising how much of my persona had been created in order to make people like me. I’m still not really sure what parts of me are actually me.
All the aspects have their roots in a certain amount of truth I dare say, I've sometimes wondered the same thing, and figured that the less authentic aspects will fade within time.
Wow. Not sure where that came from but I loved it!
I noticed how you sometimes analyse new music from up and coming bands. I was wondering could you maybe do a video on my band Divided Compass when we bring a music video out? We're gigging like all the time this week we have one every single night and if we ever make it you could say you were there from the beginning! ❤
Sometimes the art isn't about the art, exactly. Maybe the point of painting something is simply for an artist to get inspired again after a while of being uninspired. No one may see that picture, but it made a difference in how they feel about themselves, which they will they carry into their day, week, month, year...and inspire other projects that people WILL eventually see/hear. Just one example. Maybe the point was that they gave the art supply store a big sale that they needed. Maybe taking the time to paint the picture, put love into it and enjoy themselves, prevented them from being somewhere else in those moments that would have been toxic, uninspiring, or useless. Things can get so deep in that regard, it's fun to contemplate all the possibilities of why things happen and happen exactly as they do.
I think I understand what the therapist was talking about when they said "likeable" in that way, because I have someone in my life who I would say is very similar to Justin in many ways. They, too, are a musician (guitarist and vocalist, mainly, but dabble in other instruments), and they also are carrying a lotttttt of trauma (though their trauma is largely to do with loss, rather than addiction).
Through being a highly-accomplished and talented musician that's in great demand, and through using humor both as a coping mechanism, and as a way to avoid people feeling sad or sorry for them, they've developed a persona that is "very likeable". They're also inherently, incredibly kind, but sometimes I do feel like they're still (after a couple years of knowing each other well) playing to me like I'm an audience member even when we're just supposed to be hanging out. That can be fun a lot of the time, but sometimes I do feel that the fact that they're so "likeable" (while that is coming from a genuinely good and kind heart) can create a bit of a barrier and feel like a deflective wall.
I don't think they're necessarily putting said wall up deliberately -- I actually think it's second-nature, since it's helped them survive tremendous pain thus far.
But I can see why the therapist said "likeable" as if it wasn't necessarily a good thing. The confidence and constant niceness can actually sometimes feel like you're only getting to see the "likeable" person through a charming, crowd-pleasing filter, rather than in their totality ("warts and all", as they say). But the "warts" and vulnerability, while not generally characterized as "likeable" (because they're unflattering), can often lead to some of the most genuine and deep points of connection as you get to know a person better.
Similar to autotune, actually! Likeability can feel like autotune, but for the personality that one puts forth in interactions. It can be very pleasing and palatable, but it's sometimes missing the sharps and flats (highs and lows of being an imperfect person) that convey and inspire emotional interrelation.
I hope that all made sense....
Regardless, I clearly love "likeable" musicians, as this channel is my favorite one on RUclips, and this friend of mine that I've spoken about is one of my favorite people on earth.
Appreciate your thoughts and honesty as always, Justin! I'm excited to keep watching what comes next.
I have been waiting to hear your side of this since your podcast began!
Maybe the rehab guy's 'likeable' comment was a suggestion that you were masking some kind of pain that had driven you to drink, not that you were secretly not so nice or likeable.
You disappeared from my algorithm for weeks and weeks and pop up again with Lemmy in the picture.
Great discussion
Love this man
I have this same battle internally. I know I am likeable, I know I am kind and would do anything for anybody. But …. I have a real battle with myself and liking myself, I just can’t give myself a break and I dunno why. 😞
me too, my therapist said it's ADHD
I hope both you too can find patience and love for yourselves, nothing wrong with it, i'm in the same boat. You're not those things your brain worries you are.
why am I dropping on Justin's therapy session like that ?
Welcome!
I love this format!!
Jenny, if you're using the Atem Mini Pro iso, you shouldn't need to switch during the cameras. You can bring it into Zencastr and upload it and it will detect camera/mic and create an edit for you based on who is speaking - ready for RUclips!
Is no one going to mention Justin’s hat-based tribute to the historic win over Spain by the Scotland men’s football team last week?
"I think you're good at social situations".... That is brilliant.
You come across like a nice guy. 100%
Lemmy just said that "The Darkness are a novelty band, same as The Monkees, Poison, Motley Crue or any of those outfits, hair today, gone tomorrow. Slade had balls. The guy talked shit about me, let his brief fame fill his jumpsuit, and was called out"
Loving the Scotland cap Justin … superb 😉
I want a Jenny May Finn T-shirt. She is as sharp and clear as diamond