Take a daily walk with your wife. No phones, no older kids (stroller kids are ok) and just walk and talk. Make it a daily habit or at least a few times a week. Best times I have with my wife. She loves it and looks forward to it, too.
I admire that. I’ve tried endlessly to get my wife to take a 5-10 min walk with me. Nothing, nada. I walk by myself, it’s lonely and it sucks but I want her to see that I can do it without her. Sometimes, it’s like having another teenage daughter rather than a partner. I won’t ask her to walk with me anymore, I just go and listen to a podcast or something. I did explain to her that a lot of women would be happy if their husbands wanted to walk with them.
@@erwinbrubacker7488 Get a local job. I drove over the road for a while to get experience and then I got on with a great ltl outfit. Try getting on with OD, Saia, Averett, Estes, etc.
I'm in a relationship and will be proposing soon but this is one of the two decisions that I plan to do everyday with my future wife. 1. Walk everyday and 2. Not glued to TV (max only for Friday night movie)but rather use our time for building each other or community service!
On behalf of the remaining traditional single women of the world, thank you for this message. Also, thank you to all of the men in the comments who either already are or want to show up for your families this way. You are quite literally making the world a better place.
@@Donner906 I'm sorry someone hurt you. Being of service to others does not mean indentured servitude, and who better to be of service to than to one's family?
@@jackstoltz1379hat quote is saying that when good men do nothing, evil triumphs. Like the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. If it's in your power to do good, just do it. Simple.
@@AffirmativeAndrew yes yes we have all been drilled that into our brains since birth on television internet and everyday people regurgitating it like parrots. But it's just a half truth that is pushed forth so that we all see it as the only pathway forward. Sometimes the best course you can take is to sit on your hands until a better opportunity unfolds before you. Like in the stock market just because you can make a trade doesn't mean you should make a trade. Life is much the same. Usually the quote is attributed to WW2 and the fact that good men did nothing when they could of to stop Hitler. Yet Hitler him self seen him self as good by starting wars and killing people he didn't like to push forth a better environment for pure blooded Germans. And in turned killed tens of millions of Germans. Destroyed Germany and the women left over gave birth to the offspring of Soviet soldiers. Now that is a extreme and warped version of what I am talking about but relevant none the less. A man needs to have a north star of what is the actual right course to take. If not then he will be but a boat rowing in circles in the middle of the ocean wasting effort at best. And at worse getting other boats to follow his lead that other wise would not or possibly sink them. We must not blindly live by quote given to us to make as our own thoughts. Everyone and every situation is different and needs a different solution. No body wants to be that guy that did "just something" and got in the way of a undercover operation to take down a drug king pin or trafficker by attacking the under cover that invested five years of there life to uncover the network as a whole.
I’ve been married for 3 years, been together for five, met my wife on the side of the freeway changing her tire, and she asked me out… It can happen fellas. It’s all about communication. Whether it’s talking about the future or discussing things that happened in the past. Communication is the number one in a lasting, loving relationship. A woman will go to the ends of the earth with you helping to pull the wagon, as long as you are leading and communicating the direction🤙
Uh huh, then why, of why, do 90% of women initiate 90% of the divorces that outnumber marriages births and abortions alike?! They're SO faithful that they commit adultery, by allowance of civilization at large, and laws that force men to emasculate themselves on behalf of women and THEIR government! They abort more babies than they birth, they opened our nation's borders to hostile invasion, they have used marriage like prostitution so they could use the government like their pimp to collect money from the johns they fck (divorce child support and alimony, while stealing your college tuitions and jobs to do so). Now, maybe YOUR wife isn't any of that, and good for both of you, but the standard normal is so beyond fucked up, there is no point to it.
No. This is my problem. My wife doesn’t get her way, so she uses guilt, shaming, scolding, verbal attacks to cut me down, so she can win or get control. I am not always sure how to respond. Then she tells the marriage counselor I am an ‘abuser’ who is ruining her life.
This statement sounds so weak. Since the husband is the leader, she should want him to win by supporting his vision. That way when he wins, they both win.
Get ready for a rude awakening @2:52. So necessary to hear for most men, especially christians. We expect women to follow because that is their biblical role, but we fail to place responsibility on ourselves as the husbands to be someone worth following. What a refreshing reminder.
They don't follow, regardless. I grew up in the church. It no longer matters, Christian or otherwise, most women don't listen. And let's be real.... The only women who listen at all do so bc their husbands succumb to their every wish, and spoil them. There Are no true leadership roles for married men in this country. The women usurped it all. This is just a video designed to further feminize men, and make Us the obedient ones. This advice is straight from the pit of Hell. Better advice comes from Kevin Samuels, Jordan Peterson, and Andrew Tate. Don't marry anymore, men. Leave them destitute and alone. Childless And without Our attention. But that advice comes too late. America is Already doomed.
Man this one really hit home for me. I have been in a committed relationship for 14 years. Have 1 kid together. I was doing everything right up until my son was born. Somehow I completely lost my way and forgot what it was to be a man worth following. She got fed up with my immaturity and decided enough is enough. Rightfully so. Guys, dont ever lose sight of what you have, have that drive every day and be that amazing man your woman and kids deserve.
Agreed brother. Been married 12 years and I follow these steps religiously. If she spends hours making dinner, I usually do the dishes and clean up. It's the least I can do. When she was working full time and going to school full time, I did everything. Laundry, cleaning, groceries, etc. because I knew she was overwhelmed. I tell young married men all the time, you have to respect yourself before she will ever respect you.
@@notabeta3675there’s nothing wrong with helping your wife with things around the house. I do the same thing and I work 50-60 hours a week and have two kids.
Mine has decided she doesn't want me, 5 weeks ago. I have done all those things for 5 weeks now. I'm trying hard to fix my communication skills too. What a fool I was, she's an incredible woman and so strong. Hope it's not too late
@@Bringmejoycon I had a close call too. My wife lost interest in me for a while because I was doing my own thing and putting my needs before hers and not leading her like God said to. It’s not too late to change the course of the relationship! My prayers will go up for you, brother!
@@notabeta3675 helping the right woman is worth it. Unless you can provide for her on your income alone, expect to provide help in house hold manners if she does work. You relieve her stress that she will harness and use against you if you aren’t in your top game. Communication is key.
You can only lead yourself. You can't make anyone do anything but you can make them want to be more like you if your results are better, if they care about those results. If you don't share values you probably should just be friends instead. That's what I do if I still like the person. Plenty of people on earth.
You’re going to destroy yourself your husband and your children with that attitude You require so much your husband can’t do You’re a rotten woman wife mother and human being Selfish
@@Donner906sir if you are married or in a committed relationship…. Please learn that that is not ok…. You are talking about another human being. You will get out of a woman what you put in. If you want to know the health of a marriage… look at how the woman treats the man…. No she shouldn’t be x, y and x… but if you act like you aren’t worth anything she will not treat you like you are…. You give a woman arguments and complaining you will get it back 2x. Give her love and Grace and patience and you will get it back 10x. Women are multipliers do not underestimate the position of authority given to her as the weaker vessel.
Man brother this is gold. My wife and I just separated and as I listen to this I can pin point where I have come up short and the result of coming up short in those areas align with exactly what you're saying would happen. I'm improving though!
Man it’s not always a one way street you can understand where someone’s perspective but they don’t always try to understand yours, sometimes your the only one willing to meet in the middle and compromise
Takes a good man to take note of his shortcomings, takes an even better man to take the necessary changes to be better. You got this. No rush. Sometimes we gotta work on ourselves before it's time to invite another person in. Best of luck to you in your endeavors. I may not know you but I'm rooting for your success. Good luck buddy.
I hope you have still continued improving brother, put God first and love wisdom. Wisdom is everywhere, cling to it. You will only become more wise. I'm praying for you brother.
Wow this video spoke a lot to me, my wife and I have been together 10yrs this year and after our first year I broke my back, had intensive surgery and was out of work for almost 5 yrs, she took care of everything and we were falling apart, finally found my groove again 3 yrs ago, lost 150lbs went out and got more schooling and got a great job, I’ve been holding everything down while allowing her to follow her dreams now and our relationship has been great, we became best friends rather then just husband and wife
Lovely stuff blessings to you bro. I know what backpain is like , now if your spouse is not supportive that makes it beyonc worse that backpain. Im happy for you.
If anyone wants to include me in their prayer I could surely use it. The strength to fully trust God's plan with everything I have and not focus on current pain. Thought i met the one God put in my life but was thrown a curveball. Still not convinced she isnt but need to trust his plan. Thank you very much and God bless
Newly single momma(not my choice) to four kiddos here (2 are boys). I’m peeking behind the veil here so I can learn my role in raising healthy masculine men. Thanks for the work that you do.
Love the boldness of this topic. There is so much misunderstanding from the world where a man desires to lead his wife and his family. The world interprets the statement as keeping women down and your family sheltered and uninformed. It's quite the opposite. Leading our wives and family is leaving lifting her up and informing our children on how to live life to the fullest.
I prayed this morning for guidance. This was the very first thing that popped up on RUclips. I've always been a man capable of treating a woman well.. but I've always felt less capable of being a leader because i struggle with motivation and follow through, and I think you hit the nail on the head with your number 1.. I need to buckle down and be more capable of leading myself and following through so I can be worth following. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I got up and started handling a list of things I'd been putting off while listening. Thanks for your words, and passionately conveying your vision to me.. I'm inspired.
You got this man one small win at a time, focus on what makes you feel good. This is a good book that got me out my rut a while back Hard Times Create Strong Men - Stefan Aarnio
My struggle has always been motivation and ambition. And this is a real problem because you can't just manufacture desire. Without desire there can be no motivation or ambition. This can be an impassable obstacle for people, and there really isn't anything you can do about it.
Communication is Key! My wife and I have a couple rules when having a “discussion” (argument. we just don’t call it that) about something that is bothersome. Works for kids too. 1. Don’t name call build each other up don’t break them down. 2. No cussing. You can get you point across just fine without cussing. 3. No yelling. When you raise your voice it puts the other person in a defensive mode and now their mind has shifted away from positive progress. 4.Clear A to B path. Don’t talk circles. Listen to what is bothering your partner, agree on a solution/compromise, put into effect. As a leader you need to create and maintain a healthy environment where people can say their piece.
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her..
It’s hard when you was with someone for a good amount of time. Especially in marriage but don’t beat yourself up and use that to better yourself. Never know y’all could get back better than ever or you may find someone way better when you think that you cant
1. Lead yourself first. Have goals, principles and stick by them. Continue to grow. Obtain new skills. No one wants to follow someone who cant effectively lead their own life. 2. Communicate & uphold expectations and boundaries. Remember you are masculine and she is feminine. Your approach to the world is going to be a lot different from her feminine approach and both are okay. You both come from different perspectives and cultures and have different ideas of how to deal with things. At the end of the day make sure that you both are unified and understand eachothers boundaries. 3. Strive to hear & understand her. See where she is coming from. Understand her feminine side as good. Dont just hear what she's saying, listen to what she is saying. Remember not to hear only to respond, but to listen to understand with clarity. 4. Serve her. A relationship is a partnership and serving her serves you ultimately. Remeber serving her doesnt make you a beta. She will in turn serve you. 5. Cast your vision for future. Make sure you both are heading in a direction that both aligns to your vision of the future. It's important that you both adhere to eachothers vision and try to become one headed towards that shared future.
It's about a willingness to compromise and applying equal effort to say the least. The struggle is when you are trying so hard, but she isn't applying equal effort, but wants the world of me. I'm not lazy or lack effort by any means. Ryan, I'm willing to serve, but not at the account of being taken advantage of.
This is such a great headline, "She Will Follow If You Lead." The secret to an amazing relationship is so simple it's mind numbing. Two things i did that changed my life. 1. Always be kind. I know, you don't know how everytime, but think about it, then respond kindly in all situations no matter what. This will make you a much better person. 2. Never have any expectations from anyone other than yourself. It is extremely important that you expect yourself to always learn and grow and get things done. You are the man, you are the leader. Be a kind real leader and the love and respect and Desire you experience will serve you right.
I am happy to say I have this in my marriage, but this channel and these lessons help me to recenter my world so I can be a leader. Keep it up brother.
In the beginning God created Heaven and Earth. He created humans too to have a relationship with Him. That's our purpose as humans that have a relationship with God. Sin, however, messed that up because it made us imperfect and imperfect creatures cannot have a relationship with a perfect and holy God. That's why we so oftentimes feel empty, unsatisfied and unaccomplished because we're not in relationship with the God we were created to be in a relationship with. But that's where Jesus comes in. Jesus is God's son and He came down to earth in human form to live the same life we do yet unlike us He never sinned. Jesus is perfect. Yet despite the fact He is perfect He died on the cross for our sins and sacrifice Himself for us. The punishment for our sins is death but because Jesus took that punishment for us if we put our faith in Him and receive Him as Lord and savior we can be reconciled to God and be restored to that relationship we were created to have. And we can be sure that Jesus is the Son of God because on the 3rd day God raised Him from the dead and in that He defeated death and the grave, proving that He can do the same for us if we put our faith in trust in Him. That's how you get to Heaven. That's how you become full in your heart. That's how you become reconciled to the God who created you.
@@lincolnuland5443are you implying a public or private school is required to socialize children? Should it not be the responsibility of the parent or should it be the plethora of random kids with random parents and random thought process that socialize your child? Your argument is way overplayed and totally incorrect.
@@MrAskOnce All I know is I was profoundly harmed by being 'home schooled' by unbelievably neglectful parents and I think most people who choose to 'home school' their kids are pure evil.
@lincolnuland5443 they definitely failed you if you're so ignorant you think all home schoolers experience what you did. Try not to insult everybody by your assumptions. There are plenty of home schoolers that get socialised. Not only that, but turn out better because they're not experience negative socialisation and influences by going to regular school.
I'm the one saying "You're fine. Let's get you cleaned up and get back out there. Gotta fall a few times before you can fly". I'm not one to baby... and my ex-husband HATED that about me. He wanted me to baby him and told me time and time again that I wasn't emotional enough. There are so many types of women out there. Not all of us are softies. You're right on leadership and trust. If the leader cannot lead themselves, how do they expect anyone to follow them? We'll see right through the BS and go, "no thanks, I got this".
“The fact that we don’t understand each other is not a bug in the process, it’s a feature of the process!” Man you nailed it. I have been with my wife for 35 years. If you don’t learn to appreciate the lack of understanding, you will not continue to try to understand. If you stop trying to understand your wife, another man will. That simple. It’s a commitment not a warm fuzzy feeling. Your wife is not your servant; she is you and everything that makes you whole. Study her, and when the decades change her personality or worldview, know that her changes are likely a compensation for your changes.
Men, it’s only if she trusts and respects you as a man, will she trust your decisions as a provider or caretaker and follow your lead. If you have been acting weak and not making good decisions, you must first change that behavior immediately. It will take sometime for them to get used to the new behavior before the trust is there but only then will you be on your way to leading your family. Keep growing and moving forward gentlemen as our family needs all of us!!
As husband and wife it seems to me we are here to facilitate each other's lives, goals, dreams(one at a time) and to help shore up each other's weaknesses so that trust is enhanced rather than attacking, accusing or denigrating each other for even having human weaknesses.
Thank God for this Channel. I just found out recently my lady is pregnant and we’ll be having our first child. I’m excited and nervous at the same time but knowing that men like this are saying the right things I have more confidence moving forward. Personally l say thank you 🙏
I have a basic understanding of women and I would still like to partner with one. Partner not to gain greater understanding of all women, just the one I want to live with.
I would like to share a lesson I have learned recently. If I am genuinely happy with my direction, excited and expressing enthusiasm and gratitude for being able to achieve my goals in life then that attitude is infectious. I’m more engaging and understanding with my wife and family, more encouraging and up lifting. The more I do that the more my wife and kids want to follow me naturally because I’m happy and their bad moods don’t hurt me or get me down. I admit it’s difficult to cultivate that positivity in a deep genuine sustainable way, but when that is going on it’s like bees to honey. It’s about knowing exactly what will fulfill you on a deep level and actually going for it. Everything else is clear when we know who we are where we are going and why, we don’t need to have any system to follow it all happens naturally when we line up our mind body and heart on a path we 100% believe in.
What I ended up learning was that by setting and maintaining my personal boundaries and internalizing my own locus of control I gained a shift in perspective. Being by myself in a living space went from feeling like extremely depressing loneliness to feeling like solitude and a chance to be at peace and still within myself. I learned how much control of my life I had actually surrendered (without a fight) to others. And, older and wiser I have got a good handle on what is worth a "good fight" and what is not-- and there is practically nothing of style I want to fight about.
Thank you for this. Learning to be the head of the house, after a rude awakening of my gf saying I’m not ready. She is right but this video really helped me open my eyes. I’m working on me everyday
If God and scripture were used in this platform I would likely subscribe. If men can't/won't/don't submit to God first, the responsibility of leading is nothing but self serving. He is the example we all need to follow.
Acknowledgement of a God thru prayer, reading of higher-level non-fiction and the KJV Bible have led me here after I had been watching/listening almost exclusively to another man who hosts what he titled the Better Bachelor channel. I can sure tell a difference in the way Mr. Michler and Mr. Joker speaks. I don't know what you will hear, but I hear an order of magnitude difference in the way they communicate their viewpoints and how they express the various ideas and problems they wish to address. I hope you'll give both a listen and judge for yourself.
Just today my 6-year-old banged his shin coming up the back steps. Yes, I said coming up the steps. LOL. He started crying and said is it bleeding and do I need a band-aid? And then I said well let's look at it is it bleeding? Do you need a Band-Aid? He said no it's not bleeding. No I don't need a band-aid. I then said I understand that it hurts. But, I will not hurt for long. Then I said you can either go inside and play with your toys or you can still hang out in the backyard with Dad and play outside which one do you want to do? He says I want to go inside and play with my toys. I said okay that's fine I love you. And that was the end of it.
Great job Ryan! We need more than ever REAL MEN. There’s an assault on the traditional family amd it’s going to take some real courage from real men to defeat these demons. We need to bring back masculinity to society. It’s not too late. Spread the word to all the men and let’s reclaim our masculinity.
Well said !! Great Video .👌 👍👍.. Its our job as Men to lead.. Marriage teaches us many things but most importantly , it teaches us how to Love one another unconditionally, as Jesus Christ Loves Us . My wife & I will be celebrating 20 years together this Month by the Grace of God, my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ, ✝️ Titus 2:7 And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching.
This has to be the BEST video about being a man to men. As a woman working hard to be the best version on of me and be a high value woman. looking for exactly what you share 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 you nailed it!!
Where a lot of people seem to find themselves in trouble is in the area of discerning an honest difference between a genuine desire to help someone and helping someone from a sense of being coerced or manipulated into helping others.
Recently heard a podcast titled. Having Courageous conversations. Loved how they turned a “difficult” conversation to something uplifting and positive! Great podcast. Thanks for you’re wisdom
I cook dinner every night we eat at home and I do all the grocery store...I buy everything for the house even the ladies stuff but she works her ass off and takes care of the house and kids...
I wish my husband would have had these kinds of convictions. He separated from me almost 6 years ago & has treated me as if I'm invisible paint on the wall. It hurt me severely. I was loving, I dressed & tried to look nice for him. Now we are about to start the divorce process because he will not press in, will not pursue me, or get counseling, will not take anyone's advice but his own. I loved & adored him. I was always faithful to him. But I finally gave up on him loving me 2 years ago, after 25 years of marriage where the patterns were always the same. He has forced me to live married & alone so many years. It wore me out & I have been building myself back up the past few years. I was a traditional wife. I loved raising & homeschooling our children. I loved my husband. I supported & helped him with his business. I homeschooled our sons through HS graduation & they are now 21 & 23 & doing very well & are wonderful, kind-hearted, responsible young men. They even confronted him about how he treated me, but he would not listen. My h did not stick with me, did not press in. When problems arose, he stonewalled me, abandoned me, or used his aggression to intimidate me or beat me down. He has some good qualities but seemed to show them to others & not his own wife. Now, I am trying to make decisions on going back to school & learning to support myself. I know I can do it. But his chronic decisions to block all attempts at saving our marriage were traumatic & so unnecessary. He had a good, faithful wife who loved & adored him, who wanted him to lead...but lovingly. I feel I am starting over in life, just at the time that I'd always thought I would be enjoying my husband & family after my children left home. I knew I was not perfect but I was forever trying, forgiving, loving, drawing closer, & always pressing in to learn better from God & the bible, wise mentors & Counselors, books, etc. I thought he would do it with me. Not just walk away.
I feel like I'm in a similar situation as you, except I'm 28 with a 6-year-old and 2-year-old. I'm running our home pretty much all by myself. I homeschool, take the kids to church and social gatherings, cook, clean, have hobbies, and try to live as whole of a life as I can while being alone in a marriage. He drags his feet with everything except his job. I try to make him feel important and capable, I honor him, and I try not to burden him. When I express a need, he treats me like an enemy. Bedroom life is virtually non-existent, and I'm almost always the one who tries to initiate. I'm terrified of my son learning from his example. I'm terrified that my daughter will marry a man just like him. I'm starting to wake up to the pattern and how it never changes.
There is a definite difference between serving someone from a place of genuine desire versus serving someone from a place of compulsion or because you/I believe we "must or have to". One carries with it a sense of right relationship with God and the world and the other carries with it a sense of doing tasks from a place of resentment and bitterness because if you don't you can be punished for non-compliance.
I'm glad I came account this video. I struggle with the viewpoint of leadership, and how it should be executed. I hold a lot of resentment towards society in general to keep it short. As I'm the only male in the household I've been falling short of the expectation and responsibilities leadership demands. Thank you for posting this.
If you look at it purely objectively, then yes. But so is living, surviving, etc when seeing through these lens. Granted, humans are not purely objectively beings. We need and produce subjectivity and marriage is a very subjective experience. That cant be accurately measured.
@@jeradkiester698idk man, its kinda sad. google says it was mainly due to his alcoholism, and he's a war veteran, so there's probably a rabbit hole of of issues
A very needed conversation. I felt like I should watch the whole video and I'm glad I did! The values are right on the money, and I'm looking forward to where this leads
I appreciate what Bob Dylan was trying to say in his song "You got serve somebody." Clearly humans were put on Earth to provide some value to the world as a manager of worldly resources and more personally, to act as a good servant-leader to our families for the express purpose of fostering their growth and helping them maximize there potential value and use to themselves, their neighborhood and/or the world.
In a way, a relationship is all about negotiation. If both parties involved can establish their goals, frame them with respect of themselves and each other and ensure the building of trust, then I think every party will come out with a win/win situation.
I didn’t know what I expected to find by clicking this video but it feels like I’ve been led to water. Especially since I’ve gotten married this year, after securing my home my wife was like yeah you should invest in a hose for the back yard. (Which is mostly weeds & dirt) 😅 then I started thinking about ways a man has to manage a home and relationship, and now I’m here.
I became a masculine woman because my husband didn’t lead. We had 4 daughters. Being masculine and having to be the bread winner messed up my other potential relationships.😓 Then modern men degrade you because you’ve had to learn to survive in the world with children😳
it's a constant battle men don't want to deal with. Who wants to be in charge , just to be resisted the entire time ? Average men want average women. They are willing to compromise on certain things because that's how modern women are(not traditional) avg women however want Supermen with a fat bank account to provide luxury. Women scream equality(responsibility+discipline) and when you give it to them....they cry foul. They say you are not a real man, you are not a leader, and they move on to the next. Women are no longer embracing traditional lifestyles. What a headache. 🧠
My wife has always followed my lead. So when I was a victim and a Beta she was mirroring that. I had to take responsibility for the relationship first.
Quite the conversation. Beautiful points raised. I love the part of going away and casting the vision. Maximizing time spent to build on the relationship instead of just going in holiday and being Idle with that time but using leisure and ease of mind to address the 5 points in a relaxed state in a sense. Appreciation big man.
Thank you for the awesome video Ryan! Many of us men need to be reminded of these things. Sometimes life gets complicated and overwhelming, but we need to be reminded of this mindset. Your perspective on this topic is spot on, especially comparing it to those influencers who do the things you said at the beginning of the video. I really appreciate all the points you made. It holds a ton of value to those of us who strive to be better men, fathers, and husbands.
I love this. I came here because I'm haunted about living up to the kind of man my grandfather was. He was such a good and influential person about 3000 people attended his funeral. His wife and children refer to him as being nearly perfect and they say that just being his presence made them feel empowered to be better people. I suck with my wife no matter how hard I try and its driving me mad lol
No amount of counseling can even scrape the surface of what is discussed in this short video. God get me in this mindset and sacrifice my wants for her wants and for my family. I have to change my mindset towards my wife. Thank you.
Husbands love your wife as Christ loved his Church that he laid his life down... Ryan don't know how you can eat that late unless I got the time wrong. Anyway I look to emulate the Golden mean I think its just a great beacon to shoot for, and it means that men serve. Above all you just got to love. What you do as a man has to stem from that love, and all the rest will follow. Doesn't mean violence isn't there but through all the points Ryan makes which were awesome they al go back to love. I think this was Ryans best post.
Hey brother, thank you so much for sharing these thoughts. I'm currently separated praying and trying not to end up divorced - after 24 years of marriage. I see how I've had a huge part in getting us where we are, and a lot has to do with me not leading well as a servant-leader. What you've shared here is extremely valuable for all of us men to practice with our wives and in front of our children. Thank you for what you do.
I pray you listen to his counsel, Alex. Divorce after 24 years of marriage...it's not easy with divorce. I didn't want a divorce but he expected me to be his scapegoat, his mother, didn't want to be an equal partner. I'm paying for it dearly still. Love your wife. What a treasure to be married that many years! Remember who's the enemy. It's not her!
My wife came to me Dec of 2019 after 28 years of marriage she told me she “thought we should get divorced because we didn’t have anything in common anymore.” 75% of divorces are initiated by women probably because men put up with a poor relationship more than women do. With that said I told her “It has taken 28 years to get here, I’m retiring next year and I just have an ominous feeling that something bad is coming so why don’t we see a counselor to help us navigate what ever we decide and not rush into it.” We had seen several counselors before and never really got to the root of the problem. The one we found is great. In the mean time I was diagnosed with stage one Parkinson’s. Researching it I found studies that suggest a Gut-Brain connection. I quit processed foods, sugar, carbs and I adopted the Bulletproof intermittent fasting diet. I work out once a day doing a half hour of yoga and half hour of weights and exercises. Plus a 4 mile trail run/walk in the woods. Point being I took care of myself and lost 27 lbs. and started looking at what I was doing wrong in the relationship. I started to actually listen to her grievances without countering with mine to negate hers. I noticed that I was carrying emotional crap from my past into the marriage and blaming her for my issues. I began to lead by being kind and not emotional. Feminism has made thing difficult for both women and men. Abandon what the feminist preach and how our culture portrays men and idiots. Women want to know that their spouse is there to protect and care for them no matter what culture tells them. We all need to go back to basics and love our wives from a position of leadership knowing that they are going to test us. When they do, be kind. Good luck in your endeavors.
Been married for 30 years, what my wife has taught me is that I need to treat her like a queen . It ain’t easy but like my daughter told me last week “ it’s disgusting how much you two love each other” 😂
Married for almost three years now and I can say it's not easy at all. There are times I wanted to call it quits, but I know quitting is not an option. Repeating the mistakes of my parents is not an option at all. Instead, I want to do something different. That is becoming the most effective leader that I can be in my home, business, work, and community. Thanks for this video!
Unfortunately, quitting IS an option. My ex-wife called it quits after 20 years. And for her, quitting was not an option. So don't be fooled by her profession or your profession, "that quitting is not an option. " People reach the point of quitting over the course of many years. They wear out. So, learn how to not wear out, and how to not wear out your wife. Your mutual profession to not quit is essential. It's just not as powerful in the long run as it may seem.
"The fact that we don't understand each other is not a bug but a feature" -- excellent quote! Masculine and feminine function differently and think differently.
Yess. I recently got my first girlfriend and i thought i knew everything about leading but i dont, i needed this and i completely agree and this solidified and expanded my knowledge. You effectively changed my life in a small way for the better!
I’m a lady and I appreciate your messages! I was raised with five men and six, including my father all manly men of course everyone has their own dysfunction, but more importantly, men that are strong, and I love my five brothers. Our father passed 91 and he was the man of all men!
I'm in the process of courting an extremely talented, gracious, and powerful lady. Being able to edify her all while leading the relationship may have gaps at first, but being transparent in my discussions has made it feasible for building her trust. Listening to your message, taking mental notes on the key points is telling me I'm on the right path. Thanks Ryan for your series "Order of Men"!!
Great Friday Field Notes! Loved your point about communication and upholding expectations in your relationship. I feel expectations in a relationship are what keep a bond between each other. Holding yourself and each other accountable on those expectations are what keep a relationship strong. Thanks for the video!
Is it really expectations or is wedding vows that we(men and women) should be (able) and willing to hold our marriage partner to? It seems to me if you have expectations of another person in a nascent relationship you/I are probably setting ourselves up for a fall/disappointment.
I tried so hard to follow... commitment to things were not there... paying bills timely was not there... acts of service for me was not there... I learned my behavior is reactive to this and as much as I loved the person I tried "teaching" only to be met with "this is the way I am"... I started to withdraw.. he left. So now.. I realize my body was reacting to feeling insecure about this relationship. I'm learning to vet going forward
Wow what a good job on this video man. As a single gen z man lacking the masculine energy in the household while being raised, this is information is really need.
A wife's submission to the leadership of her husband is not a measure of how Christ-led her husband is. It's a measure of how Christ-led SHE is. And there are plenty of women who refuse the leadership of "worthy" husbands.
@@Brandi.731speaking biblically yes it does have to do with it. God created marriage and a marriage should be how Jesus and His church ( believers in Christ). Looks like.
I think the "power of a union or marriage" is to be found in the answers to issues or problems that are addressed as a team rather than 2 single individuals trying to come up with solutions individually with no input from either side of the gender divide.
this is such a refresher from the hookup/red pill genre of the "manosphere". Great message delivery, solid points. I happen to be dating a single mother of 2, and I've had my own unique hard time accepting that reality as a younger male. I really enjoy her and we serve each other in effective ways. She doesn't ask too heavily of me, but allows me to take part where I'd like to and similarly is happy that it can even be a reality. A lot may view it as cuckoldry or some sort of simp shit, but when you like someone and you want to invest, you accept baggage and difficult times, and taking the risk that things may someday end regardless you grant yourself the humility to understand you both can offer each other an immense amount for understanding and growth in the other party. As long as you do right by each other, openly communicate, and are well intended in the stakes of the relationship only positives can come from it! Thanks again i appreciate this video a lot
Many Many Many Many men have thought the way you did, beware. It's not 100% it doesn't work out, it's that it has a much higher chance of not working out. It really depends on a lot of things and only time will tell ( time you can't get back). You are joining a team instead of forming a team. You are joining a journey that was already in progress. You will be in a kingdom were one or two other kings have a say in your kingdom (even worse, a commoner has a say in your kingdom) As a king you won't be able to prioritize your Offspring 1) where is children's father? 2) is it one or two fathers? Be careful cause Many will lie if the father(s) aren't around 3) how long has she been a single parent? 4) did she grow up in a single parent household? 5) is she religious? 6) are most of are family and friends single or single parents? (Probably most important) 7)was she married before 8)Does she want more kids 9) does she want to be married before having more kids You at minimum need to know all this in order to lead. Otherwise yall might be go in separate directions later on
Brother I was in a similar scenario with my now wife of 7 years. It was hard learning to love other children as my own, but now I realize how imperative my role was being a father to those children. I was a God send to them, and them to me. Trying to put her children and my relationship on the same level as her and mine bonded her to me for life. Just remember that they are as important. Keep up God's work in picking up where someone else left off.
@@eightysix4981 I feel you but I think both her and I need to grow up a bit before a decent union can occur. Need the substance use to take its run. I can’t play savior/fix it and I’m not really trying to sit around for it and have to acquire responsibilities
@@NAGIUXS children’s father still around, same dad. Grew up in divorced parents household. Hasn’t been a single parent long. When her and I met it was about 2 months. We actually recently broke up because I realized I’m far too immature and inexperienced in my own sense of life to step into an instant family. She’d like to have more kids but I didn’t personally feel her behavior reflected that of a woman that wanted to be committed to raising family. I sensed a bit of wanting to live out youth, and i got all my partying and drug stuff outta the way when I was like 15-19, meanwhile she’s starting at 25. It was concerning and too much to step into a potential role as a father figure when both her and I have some independent growth we need to attend to first. I had the choice to walk away and focus on myself before making such a hasty invest and lifetime commitment. I told her I wasn’t in a position to be certain of myself so I needed to step away and be on my own for a bit. It sucks it was the most intimate and enjoyable relationship I’ve ever had, but when reality hit and the kids were involved I was far too frightened about how I’d impact them, because I don’t yet feel like a “man” I know I’ll get there and maybe she could be worthwhile after some time getting through whatever is currently ailing her while I deal with mine. Trying to deal with our personal traumas together while juggling me adapting to step parenting seemed like a time bomb It’s not all her. I’m not yet happy and I don’t want to enable her downward spiral being a people pleaser and codependent caretaker so I made the hardest decision I could and left who I thought may be “the one” I’ll figure it all out in due time
I would love for my husband to approach our relationship this way. It's been almost a decade of feeling like an intruder, an enemy, lesser-than and even a servant/slave just along for the ride. He's put us in terrible debt, broken my heart a million times, and created immense bad blood between us. I forgive and forgive but he has yet to even try to understand how his selfishness has hurt me/us all this time. I feel him resenting me for being feminine and anything that could bring us closer is a chore. I don't get a nice day together or a compliment from him without suffering some mean remark or emotional blow-up and it is slowly breaking me. I saved myself for marriage, married him in my early 20s with the blessing of our church, and now we have a BEAUTIFUL, strong, sweet little daughter. Honestly I'm brought to tears by this video, realizing what I have wanted from my husband is not "impossible" or "crazy", to want a leader who loves me as a counterpart and will put our family ahead of his comfort and vanity. I pour out my heart because it's what God requires of me but I am realizing he will never lead us or show me respect as a woman. I believe I'll never know love outside of my immediate family,and my daughter. But the person who pledged his life to me does not and never will. The Lord is more than enough but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Sorry for the negativity. If anyone has resources on surviving a broken marriage as a woman, I really want to do what is required of me to give this sweet girl the best in life, and I struggle to find anything helpful that isn't -"leave him and be a single mom," or "as long as he's not beating you to a pulp you're just being a silly complaining woman" or "Men have no excuse for not *being women* so hold him to the same expectations you have for yourself." Men and women are different, I want him to step up and be a good man. Being a good woman is my goal for me
I really felt that. It's hard because the anger and resentment becomes hatred for him and I feel stuck. I get it, many of us are experiencing the same thing.
@@Chey77700 it's so defeating. I'll pray for you and just hope that something positive can come of these men who use us and disregard our humanity. Praying my daughter chooses a good man
@@peachfountain Yes, I agree and thank you. I just said a prayer for restoration of your own marriage, so while we do feel defeated just pray and let God do His thing.
@@Chey77700 thank you so much! Regardless of whether he works a miracle in my husband's heart, I just pray I can be a witness and positive influence. Hopefully we can show His love to our men and let it shine forth for His glory
Hey Peach. The head of woman is man. Where he is going, you will follow. Where is he leading you? To what end? You will be rewarded for your faithfulness to him, despite his failings. But don't give up hope. There are many kind and faithful and principled men out there, who will lead, and will be strong husbands and fathers. You keep perfecting yourself, and the time WILL come when he wakes up, and changes, or can't stand how good you become, and decides to leave himself.
This is very much insightful for me right now.. Getting married this year. Thanks... I also want to say that, I hardly get notifications about your new videos...Infact I stumbled on this through a search, although I'm subscribed to your channel...Hope something ain't fishy with RUclips's algorithm
Take a daily walk with your wife. No phones, no older kids (stroller kids are ok) and just walk and talk. Make it a daily habit or at least a few times a week. Best times I have with my wife. She loves it and looks forward to it, too.
I admire that. I’ve tried endlessly to get my wife to take a 5-10 min walk with me. Nothing, nada. I walk by myself, it’s lonely and it sucks but I want her to see that I can do it without her.
Sometimes, it’s like having another teenage daughter rather than a partner. I won’t ask her to walk with me anymore, I just go and listen to a podcast or something.
I did explain to her that a lot of women would be happy if their husbands wanted to walk with them.
Daily ? Wow. I'm a trkr gone from 3 to 7 wks at a time.
@@erwinbrubacker7488 Get a local job. I drove over the road for a while to get experience and then I got on with a great ltl outfit.
Try getting on with OD, Saia, Averett, Estes, etc.
I'm in a relationship and will be proposing soon but this is one of the two decisions that I plan to do everyday with my future wife. 1. Walk everyday and 2. Not glued to TV (max only for Friday night movie)but rather use our time for building each other or community service!
@@scott247 I feel you...stay strong , give it anada try
On behalf of the remaining traditional single women of the world, thank you for this message. Also, thank you to all of the men in the comments who either already are or want to show up for your families this way. You are quite literally making the world a better place.
I assume you like being led on a dog collar.
@@Donner906 I'm sorry someone hurt you. Being of service to others does not mean indentured servitude, and who better to be of service to than to one's family?
o
@@ArielYveMen are seen only as tools. It is what is.
Thank you for speaaking up. We NEED to see women like you be positive. Litterally desperatly need. So thank you.
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
Not always some times it take a man to do something wrong because he didn't have a vision of what he was going to do
@@jackstoltz1379hat quote is saying that when good men do nothing, evil triumphs.
Like the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.
If it's in your power to do good, just do it. Simple.
@@AffirmativeAndrew yes yes we have all been drilled that into our brains since birth on television internet and everyday people regurgitating it like parrots.
But it's just a half truth that is pushed forth so that we all see it as the only pathway forward. Sometimes the best course you can take is to sit on your hands until a better opportunity unfolds before you.
Like in the stock market just because you can make a trade doesn't mean you should make a trade. Life is much the same.
Usually the quote is attributed to WW2 and the fact that good men did nothing when they could of to stop Hitler. Yet Hitler him self seen him self as good by starting wars and killing people he didn't like to push forth a better environment for pure blooded Germans. And in turned killed tens of millions of Germans. Destroyed Germany and the women left over gave birth to the offspring of Soviet soldiers.
Now that is a extreme and warped version of what I am talking about but relevant none the less.
A man needs to have a north star of what is the actual right course to take. If not then he will be but a boat rowing in circles in the middle of the ocean wasting effort at best. And at worse getting other boats to follow his lead that other wise would not or possibly sink them.
We must not blindly live by quote given to us to make as our own thoughts. Everyone and every situation is different and needs a different solution. No body wants to be that guy that did "just something" and got in the way of a undercover operation to take down a drug king pin or trafficker by attacking the under cover that invested five years of there life to uncover the network as a whole.
What is a man? But a miserable pile of secrets? But enough talk have at you!!!
But seriously "every man is guilty of the good he doesn't do"
I’ve been married for 3 years, been together for five, met my wife on the side of the freeway changing her tire, and she asked me out… It can happen fellas. It’s all about communication. Whether it’s talking about the future or discussing things that happened in the past. Communication is the number one in a lasting, loving relationship.
A woman will go to the ends of the earth with you helping to pull the wagon, as long as you are leading and communicating the direction🤙
Dude this is a beautiful story CONGRATULATIONS brother!!! 🤙🏼
100% true. A good woman will do this.
That’s crazy, were you just a random Good Samaritan helping out?😂
So true. Communicate, lead, and a woman will follow if you’re doing it well.
Uh huh, then why, of why, do 90% of women initiate 90% of the divorces that outnumber marriages births and abortions alike?! They're SO faithful that they commit adultery, by allowance of civilization at large, and laws that force men to emasculate themselves on behalf of women and THEIR government!
They abort more babies than they birth, they opened our nation's borders to hostile invasion, they have used marriage like prostitution so they could use the government like their pimp to collect money from the johns they fck (divorce child support and alimony, while stealing your college tuitions and jobs to do so).
Now, maybe YOUR wife isn't any of that, and good for both of you, but the standard normal is so beyond fucked up, there is no point to it.
“I want my wife to win”
That one struck me hard.
When your wife wins so do you.
No. This is my problem. My wife doesn’t get her way, so she uses guilt, shaming, scolding, verbal attacks to cut me down, so she can win or get control. I am not always sure how to respond.
Then she tells the marriage counselor I am an ‘abuser’ who is ruining her life.
Win what, exactly?
This statement sounds so weak. Since the husband is the leader, she should want him to win by supporting his vision. That way when he wins, they both win.
@@johnsmith4900 yep.
Get ready for a rude awakening @2:52. So necessary to hear for most men, especially christians. We expect women to follow because that is their biblical role, but we fail to place responsibility on ourselves as the husbands to be someone worth following. What a refreshing reminder.
They don't follow, regardless. I grew up in the church. It no longer matters, Christian or otherwise, most women don't listen. And let's be real.... The only women who listen at all do so bc their husbands succumb to their every wish, and spoil them. There Are no true leadership roles for married men in this country. The women usurped it all. This is just a video designed to further feminize men, and make Us the obedient ones.
This advice is straight from the pit of Hell.
Better advice comes from Kevin Samuels, Jordan Peterson, and Andrew Tate.
Don't marry anymore, men. Leave them destitute and alone. Childless And without Our attention.
But that advice comes too late.
America is Already doomed.
Truth
Amen brother
Very true.
Man this one really hit home for me. I have been in a committed relationship for 14 years. Have 1 kid together. I was doing everything right up until my son was born. Somehow I completely lost my way and forgot what it was to be a man worth following. She got fed up with my immaturity and decided enough is enough. Rightfully so. Guys, dont ever lose sight of what you have, have that drive every day and be that amazing man your woman and kids deserve.
Agreed brother. Been married 12 years and I follow these steps religiously. If she spends hours making dinner, I usually do the dishes and clean up. It's the least I can do. When she was working full time and going to school full time, I did everything. Laundry, cleaning, groceries, etc. because I knew she was overwhelmed. I tell young married men all the time, you have to respect yourself before she will ever respect you.
Nice. What color is your skirt?
@@notabeta3675there’s nothing wrong with helping your wife with things around the house. I do the same thing and I work 50-60 hours a week and have two kids.
Mine has decided she doesn't want me, 5 weeks ago. I have done all those things for 5 weeks now. I'm trying hard to fix my communication skills too. What a fool I was, she's an incredible woman and so strong. Hope it's not too late
@@Bringmejoycon I had a close call too. My wife lost interest in me for a while because I was doing my own thing and putting my needs before hers and not leading her like God said to. It’s not too late to change the course of the relationship! My prayers will go up for you, brother!
@@notabeta3675 helping the right woman is worth it. Unless you can provide for her on your income alone, expect to provide help in house hold manners if she does work. You relieve her stress that she will harness and use against you if you aren’t in your top game. Communication is key.
Great advice. However, if you have a partner who is not willing to follow you , and doesn’t share your values it’s hard to lead.
You can only lead yourself. You can't make anyone do anything but you can make them want to be more like you if your results are better, if they care about those results.
If you don't share values you probably should just be friends instead. That's what I do if I still like the person. Plenty of people on earth.
My wife has no interest in being led.
@@josephg.3370 lead yourself and do what is right in the eyes of God. The rest is on her. And never accept any disrespect from her.
True. Please, don't marry her.
@@josephg.3370 pray for your wife everyday and she will brother. God bless you mate!
I'm a wife who is nothing more than a friend/roommate with benefits. You are correct, we want so so much more.
You’re going to destroy yourself your husband and your children with that attitude
You require so much your husband can’t do
You’re a rotten woman wife mother and human being
Selfish
Is that a problem?
Dis is equality!
@@Donner906sir if you are married or in a committed relationship…. Please learn that that is not ok…. You are talking about another human being. You will get out of a woman what you put in. If you want to know the health of a marriage… look at how the woman treats the man…. No she shouldn’t be x, y and x… but if you act like you aren’t worth anything she will not treat you like you are…. You give a woman arguments and complaining you will get it back 2x. Give her love and Grace and patience and you will get it back 10x. Women are multipliers do not underestimate the position of authority given to her as the weaker vessel.
@@thewayteacher The fuck does any of that mean?
A happy relationship is when both man and woman are in their natural essence respectively.
Dude....I think you just saved my marriage!
Good podcast! Thanks for posting it!
How's it going?
How is it going my man?
I know I need to learn how to be a better leader. I want to. Jocko podcast and his leadership training is good.
Wow! FINALLY! A show that doesn’t cut down either side, but tries to show how the differences compliment each other! ❤
Man brother this is gold. My wife and I just separated and as I listen to this I can pin point where I have come up short and the result of coming up short in those areas align with exactly what you're saying would happen. I'm improving though!
That’s real dawg
Man it’s not always a one way street you can understand where someone’s perspective but they don’t always try to understand yours, sometimes your the only one willing to meet in the middle and compromise
Takes a good man to take note of his shortcomings, takes an even better man to take the necessary changes to be better. You got this. No rush. Sometimes we gotta work on ourselves before it's time to invite another person in. Best of luck to you in your endeavors. I may not know you but I'm rooting for your success. Good luck buddy.
@filletmignon5221 Yep, agreed. Going through this now. One gets tired of going down a one way street with no reciprocation.
I hope you have still continued improving brother, put God first and love wisdom. Wisdom is everywhere, cling to it. You will only become more wise. I'm praying for you brother.
Wow this video spoke a lot to me, my wife and I have been together 10yrs this year and after our first year I broke my back, had intensive surgery and was out of work for almost 5 yrs, she took care of everything and we were falling apart, finally found my groove again 3 yrs ago, lost 150lbs went out and got more schooling and got a great job, I’ve been holding everything down while allowing her to follow her dreams now and our relationship has been great, we became best friends rather then just husband and wife
You are the MAN ! I am happy for your ending, I can understand yalls circumstances. 🙏
Yoo da Man!
Great job!
mad props to her for sticking with you the whole time
lots of women would never do that
Don't let your friendship replace your marriage
Lovely stuff blessings to you bro. I know what backpain is like , now if your spouse is not supportive that makes it beyonc worse that backpain. Im happy for you.
As a young man I want to do so much better. I’m very lacking and this did make me cry. I will do better.
If anyone wants to include me in their prayer I could surely use it. The strength to fully trust God's plan with everything I have and not focus on current pain. Thought i met the one God put in my life but was thrown a curveball. Still not convinced she isnt but need to trust his plan. Thank you very much and God bless
I was thrown a curveball in a relationship last year
I will pray for you partner
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Newly single momma(not my choice) to four kiddos here (2 are boys). I’m peeking behind the veil here so I can learn my role in raising healthy masculine men. Thanks for the work that you do.
You've got this, Hanna! Get those boys around other righteous men too!
Hope you find peace and joy in your life. Blessings.
Love the boldness of this topic. There is so much misunderstanding from the world where a man desires to lead his wife and his family. The world interprets the statement as keeping women down and your family sheltered and uninformed. It's quite the opposite. Leading our wives and family is leaving lifting her up and informing our children on how to live life to the fullest.
glad other LDS are here.
I prayed this morning for guidance. This was the very first thing that popped up on RUclips. I've always been a man capable of treating a woman well.. but I've always felt less capable of being a leader because i struggle with motivation and follow through, and I think you hit the nail on the head with your number 1.. I need to buckle down and be more capable of leading myself and following through so I can be worth following. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I got up and started handling a list of things I'd been putting off while listening. Thanks for your words, and passionately conveying your vision to me.. I'm inspired.
You got this man one small win at a time, focus on what makes you feel good. This is a good book that got me out my rut a while back Hard Times Create Strong Men - Stefan Aarnio
@@Knowledgedad thanks brother!
Jesus answered your prays God bless keep it up
And remember the same way you pray you have to keep up fasting especially needed in marriage
My struggle has always been motivation and ambition. And this is a real problem because you can't just manufacture desire. Without desire there can be no motivation or ambition. This can be an impassable obstacle for people, and there really isn't anything you can do about it.
Communication is Key!
My wife and I have a couple rules when having a “discussion” (argument. we just don’t call it that) about something that is bothersome. Works for kids too.
1. Don’t name call build each other up don’t break them down.
2. No cussing. You can get you point across just fine without cussing.
3. No yelling. When you raise your voice it puts the other person in a defensive mode and now their mind has shifted away from positive progress.
4.Clear A to B path. Don’t talk circles. Listen to what is bothering your partner, agree on a solution/compromise, put into effect.
As a leader you need to create and maintain a healthy environment where people can say their piece.
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her..
@jay pritchett wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?
@jay pritchett Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.
Same here I think about my ex wife all the time she was good to me I messed it up I regret it to this day that was over 15 years ago
It’s hard when you was with someone for a good amount of time. Especially in marriage but don’t beat yourself up and use that to better yourself. Never know y’all could get back better than ever or you may find someone way better when you think that you cant
@@juanderuano8969click baiter
1. Lead yourself first. Have goals, principles and stick by them. Continue to grow. Obtain new skills. No one wants to follow someone who cant effectively lead their own life.
2. Communicate & uphold expectations and boundaries. Remember you are masculine and she is feminine. Your approach to the world is going to be a lot different from her feminine approach and both are okay. You both come from different perspectives and cultures and have different ideas of how to deal with things. At the end of the day make sure that you both are unified and understand eachothers boundaries.
3. Strive to hear & understand her. See where she is coming from. Understand her feminine side as good. Dont just hear what she's saying, listen to what she is saying. Remember not to hear only to respond, but to listen to understand with clarity.
4. Serve her. A relationship is a partnership and serving her serves you ultimately. Remeber serving her doesnt make you a beta. She will in turn serve you.
5. Cast your vision for future. Make sure you both are heading in a direction that both aligns to your vision of the future. It's important that you both adhere to eachothers vision and try to become one headed towards that shared future.
I appreciate the summary👍
Thanks for the summary, much appreciated! 🙏👍👍👍
Bro this is a great summary. Thank you for sharing this.
It's about a willingness to compromise and applying equal effort to say the least. The struggle is when you are trying so hard, but she isn't applying equal effort, but wants the world of me. I'm not lazy or lack effort by any means. Ryan, I'm willing to serve, but not at the account of being taken advantage of.
How is she not applying equal effort?
Is is a “Taker” & not a giver. I had the same issue & came to divorce! Get with her & communicate this exactly. If not, resentment will sit in
I’m willing to serve as long as I get served as much as I deem as a valid amount. Sounds really like a servants heart.
This is such a great headline, "She Will Follow If You Lead."
The secret to an amazing relationship is so simple it's mind numbing.
Two things i did that changed my life.
1. Always be kind. I know, you don't know how everytime, but think about it, then respond kindly in all situations no matter what. This will make you a much better person.
2. Never have any expectations from anyone other than yourself. It is extremely important that you expect yourself to always learn and grow and get things done.
You are the man, you are the leader. Be a kind real leader and the love and respect and Desire you experience will serve you right.
As a young man not married or courting any lady right now but I enjoy and learn from videos like this thank 😊
To anyone reading this: his advice is GOLD! Thank you! My mom always told me that if you honor your husband he will honor you.
I am happy to say I have this in my marriage, but this channel and these lessons help me to recenter my world so I can be a leader. Keep it up brother.
In the beginning God created Heaven and Earth. He created humans too to have a relationship with Him. That's our purpose as humans that have a relationship with God. Sin, however, messed that up because it made us imperfect and imperfect creatures cannot have a relationship with a perfect and holy God. That's why we so oftentimes feel empty, unsatisfied and unaccomplished because we're not in relationship with the God we were created to be in a relationship with. But that's where Jesus comes in. Jesus is God's son and He came down to earth in human form to live the same life we do yet unlike us He never sinned. Jesus is perfect. Yet despite the fact He is perfect He died on the cross for our sins and sacrifice Himself for us. The punishment for our sins is death but because Jesus took that punishment for us if we put our faith in Him and receive Him as Lord and savior we can be reconciled to God and be restored to that relationship we were created to have. And we can be sure that Jesus is the Son of God because on the 3rd day God raised Him from the dead and in that He defeated death and the grave, proving that He can do the same for us if we put our faith in trust in Him. That's how you get to Heaven. That's how you become full in your heart. That's how you become reconciled to the God who created you.
Having a wife that homeschools your children is a huge win.
Not socializing your children is like cutting off their arms and legs.
@@lincolnuland5443 yeah i guess you could say that. Thats not what home schooling is though.
@@lincolnuland5443are you implying a public or private school is required to socialize children?
Should it not be the responsibility of the parent or should it be the plethora of random kids with random parents and random thought process that socialize your child?
Your argument is way overplayed and totally incorrect.
@@MrAskOnce All I know is I was profoundly harmed by being 'home schooled' by unbelievably neglectful parents and I think most people who choose to 'home school' their kids are pure evil.
@lincolnuland5443 they definitely failed you if you're so ignorant you think all home schoolers experience what you did. Try not to insult everybody by your assumptions. There are plenty of home schoolers that get socialised. Not only that, but turn out better because they're not experience negative socialisation and influences by going to regular school.
I'm the one saying "You're fine. Let's get you cleaned up and get back out there. Gotta fall a few times before you can fly". I'm not one to baby... and my ex-husband HATED that about me. He wanted me to baby him and told me time and time again that I wasn't emotional enough. There are so many types of women out there. Not all of us are softies.
You're right on leadership and trust. If the leader cannot lead themselves, how do they expect anyone to follow them? We'll see right through the BS and go, "no thanks, I got this".
“The fact that we don’t understand each other is not a bug in the process, it’s a feature of the process!” Man you nailed it. I have been with my wife for 35 years. If you don’t learn to appreciate the lack of understanding, you will not continue to try to understand. If you stop trying to understand your wife, another man will. That simple. It’s a commitment not a warm fuzzy feeling. Your wife is not your servant; she is you and everything that makes you whole. Study her, and when the decades change her personality or worldview, know that her changes are likely a compensation for your changes.
Men, it’s only if she trusts and respects you as a man, will she trust your decisions as a provider or caretaker and follow your lead. If you have been acting weak and not making good decisions, you must first change that behavior immediately. It will take sometime for them to get used to the new behavior before the trust is there but only then will you be on your way to leading your family. Keep growing and moving forward gentlemen as our family needs all of us!!
As husband and wife it seems to me we are here to facilitate each other's lives, goals, dreams(one at a time) and to help shore up each other's weaknesses so that trust is enhanced rather than attacking, accusing or denigrating each other for even having human weaknesses.
Thank God for this Channel. I just found out recently my lady is pregnant and we’ll be having our first child. I’m excited and nervous at the same time but knowing that men like this are saying the right things I have more confidence moving forward. Personally l say thank you 🙏
I have a basic understanding of women and I would still like to partner with one.
Partner not to gain greater understanding of all women, just the one I want to live with.
I would like to share a lesson I have learned recently. If I am genuinely happy with my direction, excited and expressing enthusiasm and gratitude for being able to achieve my goals in life then that attitude is infectious. I’m more engaging and understanding with my wife and family, more encouraging and up lifting. The more I do that the more my wife and kids want to follow me naturally because I’m happy and their bad moods don’t hurt me or get me down. I admit it’s difficult to cultivate that positivity in a deep genuine sustainable way, but when that is going on it’s like bees to honey. It’s about knowing exactly what will fulfill you on a deep level and actually going for it. Everything else is clear when we know who we are where we are going and why, we don’t need to have any system to follow it all happens naturally when we line up our mind body and heart on a path we 100% believe in.
What I ended up learning was that by setting and maintaining my personal boundaries and internalizing my own locus of control I gained a shift in perspective.
Being by myself in a living space went from feeling like extremely depressing loneliness to feeling like solitude and a chance to be at peace and still within myself.
I learned how much control of my life I had actually surrendered (without a fight) to others.
And, older and wiser I have got a good handle on what is worth a "good fight" and what is not-- and there is practically nothing of style I want to fight about.
Thank you for this. Learning to be the head of the house, after a rude awakening of my gf saying I’m not ready. She is right but this video really helped me open my eyes. I’m working on me everyday
This is THE TRUTH !! This is all we long for. What opens us up to be our full potential for you guys. 100% the truth.
If God and scripture were used in this platform I would likely subscribe. If men can't/won't/don't submit to God first, the responsibility of leading is nothing but self serving. He is the example we all need to follow.
Maybe this will lead men to the source when they fail of their own strength. We are made in his image.
@@michaelbergeron1554 That's exactly what brought me to Him.
@@MRW21783 Amen. Thank God for that brother. Apart from Christ we can do nothing
Acknowledgement of a God thru prayer, reading of higher-level non-fiction and the KJV Bible have led me here after I had been watching/listening almost exclusively to another man who hosts what he titled the Better Bachelor channel.
I can sure tell a difference in the way Mr. Michler and Mr. Joker speaks.
I don't know what you will hear, but I hear an order of magnitude difference in the way they communicate their viewpoints and how they express the various ideas and problems they wish to address.
I hope you'll give both a listen and judge for yourself.
That was encouragingly far better advice than I was expecting. Thank you for busting my pessimism. 🤜🏻
Just today my 6-year-old banged his shin coming up the back steps. Yes, I said coming up the steps. LOL. He started crying and said is it bleeding and do I need a band-aid? And then I said well let's look at it is it bleeding? Do you need a Band-Aid? He said no it's not bleeding. No I don't need a band-aid. I then said I understand that it hurts. But, I will not hurt for long. Then I said you can either go inside and play with your toys or you can still hang out in the backyard with Dad and play outside which one do you want to do? He says I want to go inside and play with my toys. I said okay that's fine I love you. And that was the end of it.
Great job Ryan! We need more than ever REAL MEN. There’s an assault on the traditional family amd it’s going to take some real courage from real men to defeat these demons. We need to bring back masculinity to society. It’s not too late. Spread the word to all the men and let’s reclaim our masculinity.
Well said !! Great Video .👌
👍👍..
Its our job as Men to lead.. Marriage teaches us many things but most importantly , it teaches us how to Love one another unconditionally, as Jesus Christ Loves Us .
My wife & I will be celebrating 20 years together this Month by the Grace of God, my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ, ✝️
Titus 2:7
And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching.
Lord Bless You Bros, we been married 34 yrs, at about 5 yrs in I almost walked away, the Great Holy Spirit stopped me.
Blessings 🙏
This has to be the BEST video about being a man to men. As a woman working hard to be the best version on of me and be a high value woman. looking for exactly what you share 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 you nailed it!!
Where a lot of people seem to find themselves in trouble is in the area of discerning an honest difference between a genuine desire to help someone and helping someone from a sense of being coerced or manipulated into helping others.
Recently heard a podcast titled. Having Courageous conversations. Loved how they turned a “difficult” conversation to something uplifting and positive! Great podcast. Thanks for you’re wisdom
I cook dinner every night we eat at home and I do all the grocery store...I buy everything for the house even the ladies stuff but she works her ass off and takes care of the house and kids...
I wish my husband would have had these kinds of convictions. He separated from me almost 6 years ago & has treated me as if I'm invisible paint on the wall. It hurt me severely. I was loving, I dressed & tried to look nice for him. Now we are about to start the divorce process because he will not press in, will not pursue me, or get counseling, will not take anyone's advice but his own. I loved & adored him. I was always faithful to him. But I finally gave up on him loving me 2 years ago, after 25 years of marriage where the patterns were always the same. He has forced me to live married & alone so many years. It wore me out & I have been building myself back up the past few years. I was a traditional wife. I loved raising & homeschooling our children. I loved my husband. I supported & helped him with his business. I homeschooled our sons through HS graduation & they are now 21 & 23 & doing very well & are wonderful, kind-hearted, responsible young men. They even confronted him about how he treated me, but he would not listen. My h did not stick with me, did not press in. When problems arose, he stonewalled me, abandoned me, or used his aggression to intimidate me or beat me down. He has some good qualities but seemed to show them to others & not his own wife. Now, I am trying to make decisions on going back to school & learning to support myself. I know I can do it. But his chronic decisions to block all attempts at saving our marriage were traumatic & so unnecessary. He had a good, faithful wife who loved & adored him, who wanted him to lead...but lovingly. I feel I am starting over in life, just at the time that I'd always thought I would be enjoying my husband & family after my children left home. I knew I was not perfect but I was forever trying, forgiving, loving, drawing closer, & always pressing in to learn better from God & the bible, wise mentors & Counselors, books, etc. I thought he would do it with me. Not just walk away.
I feel like I'm in a similar situation as you, except I'm 28 with a 6-year-old and 2-year-old. I'm running our home pretty much all by myself. I homeschool, take the kids to church and social gatherings, cook, clean, have hobbies, and try to live as whole of a life as I can while being alone in a marriage. He drags his feet with everything except his job. I try to make him feel important and capable, I honor him, and I try not to burden him. When I express a need, he treats me like an enemy. Bedroom life is virtually non-existent, and I'm almost always the one who tries to initiate. I'm terrified of my son learning from his example. I'm terrified that my daughter will marry a man just like him. I'm starting to wake up to the pattern and how it never changes.
There is a definite difference between serving someone from a place of genuine desire versus serving someone from a place of compulsion or because you/I believe we "must or have to".
One carries with it a sense of right relationship with God and the world and the other carries with it a sense of doing tasks from a place of resentment and bitterness because if you don't you can be punished for non-compliance.
You just changed/helped 3.4k ppl...I'm one of them....I needed to hear this
I'm glad I came account this video. I struggle with the viewpoint of leadership, and how it should be executed. I hold a lot of resentment towards society in general to keep it short. As I'm the only male in the household I've been falling short of the expectation and responsibilities leadership demands. Thank you for posting this.
This guy makes the most compelling case for a bachelor lifestyle I've ever heard. Marriage sounds awful, even when you're both trying.
If you look at it purely objectively, then yes. But so is living, surviving, etc when seeing through these lens.
Granted, humans are not purely objectively beings. We need and produce subjectivity and marriage is a very subjective experience. That cant be accurately measured.
He's going through a divorce now!
@@tull199that's hilarious
@@jeradkiester698idk man, its kinda sad. google says it was mainly due to his alcoholism, and he's a war veteran, so there's probably a rabbit hole of of issues
I'm learning this at 35yrs old. Fucken sad😤
I'm 52 and learning this. When you've grown up without a father in the home and no examples of a good strong man, it's easy to not have these skills.
Most of our culture has lost this. Perhaps our culture never really had it
A very needed conversation. I felt like I should watch the whole video and I'm glad I did!
The values are right on the money, and I'm looking forward to where this leads
I appreciate what Bob Dylan was trying to say in his song "You got serve somebody."
Clearly humans were put on Earth to provide some value to the world as a manager of worldly resources and more personally, to act as a good servant-leader to our families for the express purpose of fostering their growth and helping them maximize there potential value and use to themselves, their neighborhood and/or the world.
In a way, a relationship is all about negotiation. If both parties involved can establish their goals, frame them with respect of themselves and each other and ensure the building of trust, then I think every party will come out with a win/win situation.
thank you for saying this , we need more leaders 😊 i totally agree
I didn’t know what I expected to find by clicking this video but it feels like I’ve been led to water. Especially since I’ve gotten married this year, after securing my home my wife was like yeah you should invest in a hose for the back yard. (Which is mostly weeds & dirt) 😅 then I started thinking about ways a man has to manage a home and relationship, and now I’m here.
I became a masculine woman because my husband didn’t lead. We had 4 daughters. Being masculine and having to be the bread winner messed up my other potential relationships.😓 Then modern men degrade you because you’ve had to learn to survive in the world with children😳
And then your husband cheats on you because you're not "feminine or seductive".
Finding that woman that understands her role is the hardest part that I have experienced. Still looking for one that gets it
it's a constant battle men don't want to deal with.
Who wants to be in charge , just to be resisted the entire time ? Average men want average women. They are willing to compromise on certain things because that's how modern women are(not traditional) avg women however want Supermen with a fat bank account to provide luxury. Women scream equality(responsibility+discipline) and when you give it to them....they cry foul. They say you are not a real man, you are not a leader, and they move on to the next.
Women are no longer embracing traditional lifestyles. What a headache. 🧠
What would happen when she gets it? What do you envision?
My wife has always followed my lead. So when I was a victim and a Beta she was mirroring that. I had to take responsibility for the relationship first.
Quite the conversation. Beautiful points raised. I love the part of going away and casting the vision. Maximizing time spent to build on the relationship instead of just going in holiday and being Idle with that time but using leisure and ease of mind to address the 5 points in a relaxed state in a sense. Appreciation big man.
Such a relief to hear this perspective, so many other channels are so “bro” centric….
Thank you for the awesome video Ryan! Many of us men need to be reminded of these things. Sometimes life gets complicated and overwhelming, but we need to be reminded of this mindset. Your perspective on this topic is spot on, especially comparing it to those influencers who do the things you said at the beginning of the video. I really appreciate all the points you made. It holds a ton of value to those of us who strive to be better men, fathers, and husbands.
I love this. I came here because I'm haunted about living up to the kind of man my grandfather was. He was such a good and influential person about 3000 people attended his funeral. His wife and children refer to him as being nearly perfect and they say that just being his presence made them feel empowered to be better people. I suck with my wife no matter how hard I try and its driving me mad lol
Don’t compare yourself to others. Just be the best that YOU can be. Never stop trying to be better, but don’t look around at others.
No amount of counseling can even scrape the surface of what is discussed in this short video. God get me in this mindset and sacrifice my wants for her wants and for my family. I have to change my mindset towards my wife. Thank you.
I’m so convicted by this. I don’t know how to move forward.
Husbands love your wife as Christ loved his Church that he laid his life down... Ryan don't know how you can eat that late unless I got the time wrong. Anyway I look to emulate the Golden mean I think its just a great beacon to shoot for, and it means that men serve. Above all you just got to love. What you do as a man has to stem from that love, and all the rest will follow. Doesn't mean violence isn't there but through all the points Ryan makes which were awesome they al go back to love. I think this was Ryans best post.
Hey brother, thank you so much for sharing these thoughts. I'm currently separated praying and trying not to end up divorced - after 24 years of marriage. I see how I've had a huge part in getting us where we are, and a lot has to do with me not leading well as a servant-leader. What you've shared here is extremely valuable for all of us men to practice with our wives and in front of our children. Thank you for what you do.
I pray you listen to his counsel, Alex. Divorce after 24 years of marriage...it's not easy with divorce. I didn't want a divorce but he expected me to be his scapegoat, his mother, didn't want to be an equal partner. I'm paying for it dearly still. Love your wife. What a treasure to be married that many years! Remember who's the enemy. It's not her!
Praying for you. Been there done that.
My wife came to me Dec of 2019 after 28 years of marriage she told me she “thought we should get divorced because we didn’t have anything in common anymore.” 75% of divorces are initiated by women probably because men put up with a poor relationship more than women do. With that said I told her “It has taken 28 years to get here, I’m retiring next year and I just have an ominous feeling that something bad is coming so why don’t we see a counselor to help us navigate what ever we decide and not rush into it.” We had seen several counselors before and never really got to the root of the problem. The one we found is great. In the mean time I was diagnosed with stage one Parkinson’s. Researching it I found studies that suggest a Gut-Brain connection. I quit processed foods, sugar, carbs and I adopted the Bulletproof intermittent fasting diet. I work out once a day doing a half hour of yoga and half hour of weights and exercises. Plus a 4 mile trail run/walk in the woods. Point being I took care of myself and lost 27 lbs. and started looking at what I was doing wrong in the relationship. I started to actually listen to her grievances without countering with mine to negate hers. I noticed that I was carrying emotional crap from my past into the marriage and blaming her for my issues. I began to lead by being kind and not emotional. Feminism has made thing difficult for both women and men. Abandon what the feminist preach and how our culture portrays men and idiots. Women want to know that their spouse is there to protect and care for them no matter what culture tells them. We all need to go back to basics and love our wives from a position of leadership knowing that they are going to test us. When they do, be kind. Good luck in your endeavors.
Sounds like a real drag. The best advice for you g men or single men is to stay single.
@@ez-g3090 that's easy for you to say. Have fun.
Great comments...values and communication, prayer time are important and they should match from the beginning. Do not be unequally Yoked.
God bless !! back to the core of what matters
Been married for 30 years, what my wife has taught me is that I need to treat her like a queen . It ain’t easy but like my daughter told me last week “ it’s disgusting how much you two love each other” 😂
Married for almost three years now and I can say it's not easy at all. There are times I wanted to call it quits, but I know quitting is not an option. Repeating the mistakes of my parents is not an option at all. Instead, I want to do something different. That is becoming the most effective leader that I can be in my home, business, work, and community. Thanks for this video!
Unfortunately, quitting IS an option. My ex-wife called it quits after 20 years. And for her, quitting was not an option. So don't be fooled by her profession or your profession, "that quitting is not an option. " People reach the point of quitting over the course of many years. They wear out. So, learn how to not wear out, and how to not wear out your wife. Your mutual profession to not quit is essential. It's just not as powerful in the long run as it may seem.
"The fact that we don't understand each other is not a bug but a feature" -- excellent quote! Masculine and feminine function differently and think differently.
Just came across this channel great content. Thank you for adding value to my life.
Yess. I recently got my first girlfriend and i thought i knew everything about leading but i dont, i needed this and i completely agree and this solidified and expanded my knowledge. You effectively changed my life in a small way for the better!
Always start from a place pf humility. Assume there is always more to learn. God bless.
Congratulations
K nkx
I hope your relationship flourishes. Fight hard for it
This is encouraged me to stand up and get the work done
Wow i accidentally found your podcast brother! This word is sooo needed right now thank you man really ! You have no idea how much I needed this!
Love number 4, I think there is a large push, by some men, away from being a servant leader to your wife.
Thank you so much for all of the advice you put out I just stumbled onto this channel a couple days ago but every video iv watches has helped
Ryan, again… thank you!! I truly appreciate your insight
Excellent!!! Women must know and feel that she is safe within a man's strength and caring protection and confidence.
I’m a lady and I appreciate your messages! I was raised with five men and six, including my father all manly men of course everyone has their own dysfunction, but more importantly, men that are strong, and I love my five brothers. Our father passed 91 and he was the man of all men!
I'm in the process of courting an extremely talented, gracious, and powerful lady. Being able to edify her all while leading the relationship may have gaps at first, but being transparent in my discussions has made it feasible for building her trust.
Listening to your message, taking mental notes on the key points is telling me I'm on the right path. Thanks Ryan for your series "Order of Men"!!
Great Friday Field Notes! Loved your point about communication and upholding expectations in your relationship. I feel expectations in a relationship are what keep a bond between each other. Holding yourself and each other accountable on those expectations are what keep a relationship strong. Thanks for the video!
Is it really expectations or is wedding vows that we(men and women) should be (able) and willing to hold our marriage partner to?
It seems to me if you have expectations of another person in a nascent relationship you/I are probably setting ourselves up for a fall/disappointment.
I tried so hard to follow... commitment to things were not there... paying bills timely was not there... acts of service for me was not there... I learned my behavior is reactive to this and as much as I loved the person I tried "teaching" only to be met with "this is the way I am"... I started to withdraw.. he left. So now.. I realize my body was reacting to feeling insecure about this relationship. I'm learning to vet going forward
Wow what a good job on this video man. As a single gen z man lacking the masculine energy in the household while being raised, this is information is really need.
She will follow and submit to your leadership if you’re worthy. And you’re “worthy” if you are lead by Christ.
A wife's submission to the leadership of her husband is not a measure of how Christ-led her husband is. It's a measure of how Christ-led SHE is. And there are plenty of women who refuse the leadership of "worthy" husbands.
Actually it’s not either! Leading a wife has NOTHING to do with Christianity 🙄
@@Brandi.731 It has everything to do with Christianity if you're a Christian, though.
@@Brandi.731speaking biblically yes it does have to do with it. God created marriage and a marriage should be how Jesus and His church ( believers in Christ). Looks like.
This is also good advice for friendships.
Love the “listen and understand” action. Never heard that perspective before and I am inspired
Preside, provide, protect. Family proclamation to the world. It’s like it’s prophetic or something.
I needed to hear this, ty very much!!!
I greatly appreciate this video, perhaps its even an answer to some of my prayers haha. Thank you so much God bless
This is enough to make me a better husband an father. Thank you
I think the "power of a union or marriage" is to be found in the answers to issues or problems that are addressed as a team rather than 2 single individuals trying to come up with solutions individually with no input from either side of the gender divide.
this is such a refresher from the hookup/red pill genre of the "manosphere". Great message delivery, solid points. I happen to be dating a single mother of 2, and I've had my own unique hard time accepting that reality as a younger male. I really enjoy her and we serve each other in effective ways. She doesn't ask too heavily of me, but allows me to take part where I'd like to and similarly is happy that it can even be a reality. A lot may view it as cuckoldry or some sort of simp shit, but when you like someone and you want to invest, you accept baggage and difficult times, and taking the risk that things may someday end regardless you grant yourself the humility to understand you both can offer each other an immense amount for understanding and growth in the other party. As long as you do right by each other, openly communicate, and are well intended in the stakes of the relationship only positives can come from it! Thanks again i appreciate this video a lot
Many Many Many Many men have thought the way you did, beware. It's not 100% it doesn't work out, it's that it has a much higher chance of not working out. It really depends on a lot of things and only time will tell ( time you can't get back). You are joining a team instead of forming a team.
You are joining a journey that was already in progress.
You will be in a kingdom were one or two other kings have a say in your kingdom (even worse, a commoner has a say in your kingdom)
As a king you won't be able to prioritize your Offspring
1) where is children's father?
2) is it one or two fathers? Be careful cause Many will lie if the father(s) aren't around
3) how long has she been a single parent?
4) did she grow up in a single parent household?
5) is she religious?
6) are most of are family and friends single or single parents? (Probably most important)
7)was she married before
8)Does she want more kids
9) does she want to be married before having more kids
You at minimum need to know all this in order to lead. Otherwise yall might be go in separate directions later on
Brother I was in a similar scenario with my now wife of 7 years. It was hard learning to love other children as my own, but now I realize how imperative my role was being a father to those children. I was a God send to them, and them to me. Trying to put her children and my relationship on the same level as her and mine bonded her to me for life. Just remember that they are as important. Keep up God's work in picking up where someone else left off.
@@eightysix4981 I feel you but I think both her and I need to grow up a bit before a decent union can occur. Need the substance use to take its run. I can’t play savior/fix it and I’m not really trying to sit around for it and have to acquire responsibilities
@@NAGIUXS children’s father still around, same dad. Grew up in divorced parents household. Hasn’t been a single parent long. When her and I met it was about 2 months.
We actually recently broke up because I realized I’m far too immature and inexperienced in my own sense of life to step into an instant family. She’d like to have more kids but I didn’t personally feel her behavior reflected that of a woman that wanted to be committed to raising family. I sensed a bit of wanting to live out youth, and i got all my partying and drug stuff outta the way when I was like 15-19, meanwhile she’s starting at 25.
It was concerning and too much to step into a potential role as a father figure when both her and I have some independent growth we need to attend to first. I had the choice to walk away and focus on myself before making such a hasty invest and lifetime commitment. I told her I wasn’t in a position to be certain of myself so I needed to step away and be on my own for a bit.
It sucks it was the most intimate and enjoyable relationship I’ve ever had, but when reality hit and the kids were involved I was far too frightened about how I’d impact them, because I don’t yet feel like a “man”
I know I’ll get there and maybe she could be worthwhile after some time getting through whatever is currently ailing her while I deal with mine. Trying to deal with our personal traumas together while juggling me adapting to step parenting seemed like a time bomb
It’s not all her. I’m not yet happy and I don’t want to enable her downward spiral being a people pleaser and codependent caretaker so I made the hardest decision I could and left who I thought may be “the one”
I’ll figure it all out in due time
@Balttt we trying bro hahaha
I would love for my husband to approach our relationship this way. It's been almost a decade of feeling like an intruder, an enemy, lesser-than and even a servant/slave just along for the ride. He's put us in terrible debt, broken my heart a million times, and created immense bad blood between us. I forgive and forgive but he has yet to even try to understand how his selfishness has hurt me/us all this time. I feel him resenting me for being feminine and anything that could bring us closer is a chore. I don't get a nice day together or a compliment from him without suffering some mean remark or emotional blow-up and it is slowly breaking me. I saved myself for marriage, married him in my early 20s with the blessing of our church, and now we have a BEAUTIFUL, strong, sweet little daughter.
Honestly I'm brought to tears by this video, realizing what I have wanted from my husband is not "impossible" or "crazy", to want a leader who loves me as a counterpart and will put our family ahead of his comfort and vanity. I pour out my heart because it's what God requires of me but I am realizing he will never lead us or show me respect as a woman. I believe I'll never know love outside of my immediate family,and my daughter. But the person who pledged his life to me does not and never will. The Lord is more than enough but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
Sorry for the negativity. If anyone has resources on surviving a broken marriage as a woman, I really want to do what is required of me to give this sweet girl the best in life, and I struggle to find anything helpful that isn't
-"leave him and be a single mom," or
"as long as he's not beating you to a pulp you're just being a silly complaining woman" or
"Men have no excuse for not *being women* so hold him to the same expectations you have for yourself." Men and women are different, I want him to step up and be a good man. Being a good woman is my goal for me
I really felt that. It's hard because the anger and resentment becomes hatred for him and I feel stuck. I get it, many of us are experiencing the same thing.
@@Chey77700 it's so defeating. I'll pray for you and just hope that something positive can come of these men who use us and disregard our humanity. Praying my daughter chooses a good man
@@peachfountain Yes, I agree and thank you. I just said a prayer for restoration of your own marriage, so while we do feel defeated just pray and let God do His thing.
@@Chey77700 thank you so much! Regardless of whether he works a miracle in my husband's heart, I just pray I can be a witness and positive influence. Hopefully we can show His love to our men and let it shine forth for His glory
Hey Peach. The head of woman is man. Where he is going, you will follow. Where is he leading you?
To what end?
You will be rewarded for your faithfulness to him, despite his failings. But don't give up hope. There are many kind and faithful and principled men out there, who will lead, and will be strong husbands and fathers.
You keep perfecting yourself, and the time WILL come when he wakes up, and changes, or can't stand how good you become, and decides to leave himself.
Ok, not married here. But you changed my entire perspective. Know I know how to approach this. Now there’s hope because it makes sense. Thank You!
This is very much insightful for me right now.. Getting married this year. Thanks...
I also want to say that, I hardly get notifications about your new videos...Infact I stumbled on this through a search, although I'm subscribed to your channel...Hope something ain't fishy with RUclips's algorithm
Yeah, Leadership ⚔️👍🏽.