8 Differences Between Chasing a Woman and Pursuing Her
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
- Do not chase women. Period. Desperation in a man is not a good look and not conducive to a healthy, long-term relationship. That's not to say there isn't a place to pursue her but there is a huge difference between chasing and pursuing. Today, I share eight of those differences and why a man ought to pursue, but never chase.
Wow as a 43 year old man, I wished I would had learned this In my teens. Never too late to learn and better yourself!.... Thanks brother!
Pursue GOALS and PRINCIPLES (health, wealth, respect, confidence, self improvement, emotional stability, knowledge, personality growth), NEVER people. The validation people seek in others should come from within yourself knowing you did the right thing.
Rodin ....this was amazing thanks
Thank you Thomas.
There's new science that debunks the myths that happiness has to come from within. We pair bond for survival
@@hydraulicsjoy comes from within , happiness is based on circumstances..
If she does not reciprocate by all means, then you’re chasing. If she’s reciprocating, then you’re pursuing
makes more sense now
It really does not matter because you are just in line waiting on your turn!
its not that simple.
plenty of women dont reciprocate until something triggers them.
Right, but I'd say with pursuing too, you have to be the initiator, and assertive in that initiation. Then she reciprocates
@@n1c98 thats facts, give as much as she is and she’ll slowly open up until she gets attached
In any case, if you are giving her a vibe : "If I tell him, hey i like you, wanna be something more then friends? - I know he will say yes as soon as I say it."
You are losing her bud, i know from my own experience.
Trust me, please, make sure you are happy with yourself first then go ahead and conquer everything in your path.
Again, from my own experience, I was not happy with myself, and i just had this blockade when i wanted to get a woman, it just blocks you, since then i like myself better, i had quite a bit of experience and learned quite a bit, however - i am still not happy with myself, but in any case, it's better then it used to be.
I’ve overlooked red flags... I now pay a lot of child support and am going through litigation.... sooo many obvious red flags I chose to ignore. I got bit... what an invaluable lesson soo many young men need to be aware of
Much strength and positive vibes to you mate, you will get through it and crush it!!
Welcome to the club. Divorced since Tuesday from a woman I was totally devoted to . Now our son is so confused and doesn’t know what the heck is up :(
You learned. And owned up to it. I give you 100% props.
Anyone who disagrees with you about women needs to listen to more Patrice O’Neal. Great advice my good sir.
Finally someone giving manly advice that isn't all about how to sweet talk a woman and how to sleep with the most women possible. All this "alpha male" advice I've seen for the most part is just garbage. Most of it is advice for immature lustful boys who just happen to be in an adult body.
Thank you Ryan. Studio is looking awesome 👊
Coming along. We have a lot more room to go!
i cant lie these 8 points were hard to hear but i needed to them
Darrius Solomon that’s good. How old are you brother
@@SHAKA-NEU-LU 22
Finally someone who communicates the way I like. Thankyou!🙏
funny, my friend sent this to our chat after I sent one of your other videos. He sent it because my other friend is in a problematic relationship and can be described quite well by what you've called "chasing" as opposed to "perusing". Additionally, I've just gotten into a relationship with someone who has not been in a serious relationship before, and Ive realized that ive exhibited some of the "chasing" mentality already. However im rather lucky since it's still early in the development. Ive had a problem with caring about people before, and since she's the first person ive seriously cared about in a long time, I saw her as a "light" in my otherwise depressing darkness. Thanks to your inspiration, hopefully I can start adjusting my course from wanting to live in order to make her happy, to making myself the best self I can be, in order to then know that I can protect her and be there for her on her journey to discover herself. Obviously more complicated than those ideals, but that's the very dumbed down idea ive just written down in the comments section within a few seconds.
"I think I'm pretty interesting and think you'll agree if you will get to know me." is a must more attractive attitude than adorable, abandoned puppy. You don't want to have her see you as one more thing to take care of.
This video is good for both sides in establishing balance in your individual lives. As a woman who left a man who wouldn't do anything without me to being in a relationship with a leader and someone who is perfectly content on going off on his own. It is a intriguing change in how I am drawn to him as he is as you said "really interesting". Yes I am chasing him! but I will stop this chase and make it a pursuit as I agree entirely this is a much healthier way of living.
Something about that charcoal gray paint is awesome!
It looks like it has some texture or wash mixed in, can you tell me how you achieved this effect so I could replicate it?
Loved the video!
It's called paint stippling. You add it to the wall before the paint for texture. Should be able to get different styles at any paint or hardware store.
Everything you said makes sense. I already follow some of these actions but not all, just some. I knew I wasn’t doing everything correctly and there’s a reason why I watched the whole video. I learned a lot. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us!
I felt deeply impacted by this, this is great stuff
Invest in someone based on how much they invest in you, not based on how much you like them.
I have been guilty of making the woman the center of the universe rather than me. Learning more and more that if I look to a woman for validation rather than validating myself then it will fail.
Just one thing: it is also perfectly valid (and actually even more so) to put God at the center of your universe. In fact, the center of your universe is such a weighty position that only God can carry the burden. That being said, it is true that prioritizing and *chasing* God is in your best interest, so you could argue that I'm only complementing your argument.
please dont bring religion into this, its unrelated and its not polite to others that are here and may not want to hear about one of the gods today. religion is personal and should be kept that way unless asked.
@@atastyspamwich 💯%Agree with that statement. We need to be able to stand on our own without being held up by false Hope's.
@@atastyspamwich Back into the closet religious people! You are not worthy of partaking in our society! Censor yourself or we'll do it for you!
Don’t apologize for stating your beliefs
Get that echo down a bit. Really noticable on headphones. Biking while learning!
Wow. This is my second listing of order of men.
Thanks men.
My eyed are opened.. And heart is filled with inspirational to make me a better human 💟💟🇮🇳🇮🇳
A woman will never see her attractiveness in the way that you do. She will base it on the amount of attention she receives and the number of men she receives it from.
She will be intrigued by the man who shows a healthy and consistent interest without showering her with attention.
This signals to her that a man is motivated but also capable of self-restraint.
Yes, take some time today and prove that the difference between the word "chase" and "pursue" is not simply 1 semantic property.
Ive never heard the story about the snake and the boy used like that, it is absolutely true though.
Seems like so much work especially to a divorced Dad of 2 about to turn 44. Feels like time is running out.
This is pure wisdom.
Thanks for the knowledge
all of that...is very very true
Great Boy and snake analogy SIR....love all 8 points.. but the boy DID recognize it was a snake (i.e. Red Flag). He did Communicate clearly with the snake upfront, with the promise that it won't Bite! and yet he still gets bitten....Only to be reminded that its in the nature of a snake to Bite! Somehow I feel even after recognizing Red Flags and addressing them upfront (and along the way) doesn't safeguard from being bitten/betrayed
The missing piece in this video is that the world is overrun with young men who did not have a positive example of a man in their lives growing up. These men DO NOT recognize the snake when they see it. These men need more "red flag" videos so that they can learn to discern.
Thanks man!
Great video.
On point again 👌
If she isn’t responding or asking you questions move on. if she boring, disrespectful or lame treat her like a dry piece of bread don’t spoil your sandwich, get new bread.
What should a Woman do as her role in this pursuit?
Wow, great minds think alike..
What are red flags?
It's laws being enacted by congress that go totally against our 2nd amendment. If someone , anyone thinks your not a stable person they can make a complaint against you, and in comes the law. 🇺🇸✌👍
I needed to hear this years ago!
yes don't make the classic mistake of trading 2-3 hours of sex a week (if you are lucky) and then having to deal with guilt shame manipulation drama and shit tests....remember there are still 124 waking hours a week when you are not doing the deed that will be filled with 'serving the goddess' if you let it....
Yes! not talked about much between men
Loved this! Wonderful advice. Few book recommendations for the men that connected with this and want to take the study further.
“Choice theory” by William Glasser
“Boundaries: when to say yes, how to say no to take control of your life” by Henry cloud.
SNAKES BITE!!!
⛪👏👏👏👏🙏church
Your like the uncle I never had but need.
I feel that
For real
I realize I am kinda off topic but do anybody know a good site to watch newly released tv shows online ?
@Emerson Tristen I dunno try flixportal. you can find it through google =) -wilson
@Wilson Kingston Thank you, I signed up and it seems like they got a lot of movies there :) I appreciate it !!
Too many men chase women that don’t want them and ignore the women that do want them.
What if the woman who's chasing them is not there type or there ideal one would you say they should go out with her? I dont think so guy won't be happy with her
Men sometimes don't know when a women like them because too few women make the first move.
@@KineticMind89 You're right. Most men are not taught the non-verbal cues that a lot of women prefer to communicate interest by. If we are taught them some of them can be misconstrued sometimes. Overall as you alluded to society prefers men to make the first move and women are the reactors. It all depends on the woman though.
Sounds like women to me
You can’t just go with the woman who likes you. Because in the end if your values and goals don’t align, you might find it hard to navigate around that relationship. Gotta have standards and know the traits you’re looking for.
4:32 grab your popcorn
27:30 Quick Recap on 8 steps
Great looking studio, Mr. Michler! A confident man never has to beg for attention and compliments...
All men should read The Rational Male Trilogy by Rollo Tomassi, and Jack Donovan's books starting with The Way Of Men. Available on Amazon. also google I Dont Care by Jack Donovan. Great Essay.
Edit: Sounds like this presenter has already read Rollo's books.
Wish i had heard this before i completely ruined any chance with this girl i work with. I will take the advice from this and improve myself. Thank you for posting this stuff is so important to leading a healthy lifestyle
Best and condensed dating advice ever for Man.
Every word you say is true since I did pursuing the last woman like this.
A woman is looking for a easy sucker to juice not a guy that knows the game. A guy that knows the game does not mean he gets a lot of pussy he just knows how not to get fleeced.
I love hookers. But they make me pay
"I'm saying he addresses the red flags early, by setting up boundaries, by being ultimately responsible, by looking for internal validation, by making yourself the center of your universe, not her...by addressing red flags early..."
This is VERY healthy advice. Easier said than done for folks that may not be accustomed to assertiveness, but ultimately the goal.
A woman knows if she is going to have sex with you as soon as she looks at you ! This is not rocket science!
Post second divorce, 17 years ago... I threw myself into my life, single for the first time since very young, and I spent 3 yrs, cycling, gym, traveling, pursuing my career. Everything BUT women. Then the strangest thing happened, women began pursuing me, openly. Truly a transformation as I realized WHY. Most of my contemporaries lacked any kind of life. I had a full life, skydiving, snowboarding, cycling, traveling, cooking, reading.... I found myself and still do, scrutinizing MUCH closer the women I CHOSE. A very different position to be in. Great stuff, truly. I found it by accident and after being single for seventeen years actually came to like myself and be “comfortable in my own skin”.
It's the fable of the scorpion & the frog. It's a great life lesson.
Bone and dog
Somebody watched Drive (2011)
I wish I'd heard this little talk about 15 years ago. Thanks for the advice.
Pursue God. Make following Him your goal. He is the center of the universe. Happiness comes from serving God.
The species would die
Never ever beg. If your there take yourself out and Be a man and dp things right.
Great message Ryan on setting healthy boundaries in relationships. I love the new studio.
Dennis Zetterberg much appreciated
If a man chases himself and pursues a purpose then he'll never have to pursue or anything for that matter. They search for him. Women are the last thing on the totem pole for me.
AMEN TO THAT IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO GET THAT BUT THERE NOW!!!!
100% Facts parcero
Definitely every man should first invest in himself first before he put the woman jn the game
Well timed. Wife and I were just discussing this regarding a social media trend that we had both noticed.
Hope it helps.
This is undoubtedly some of the best advice I have ever heard when it comes to pursuing women. I wasted a lot of years and good potential relationships by trying to find validation from women and being that puppy dog. Glad that I am changing and choosing not to remain that way. Have other things you pursue outside of a potential relationship and validate yourself first.
I don't need to chase or pursue women, they run away as the mere sight of me, so no need to waste the energy.
Just found this channel and its fantastic. A lot of things I've heard but needed to be reminded of, and some new gems. Invaluable lessons for all of us men. Thanks
Glad you're here.
A guy that knows the game does not mean he gets a lot of pussy he just knows how not to get fleeced.
@@jlj777 thank you, that is very insightful
I really like the great articulation of the content on this much needed topic for men. After all, no woman respects or will truly love a weak man like the chaser is acting like. I really needed this ( unfortunately most men at some point fall into the place of the chaser ) and your point on improving the core aspects of our lives is spot on 💯.
The story about the boy and the snake is the same story of the scorpion and the frog. That made for a great Star Trek Voyager episode called Scorpion and that is when Seven of Nine is introduced. It is my favorite Voyager episode. Overall, some great info here.
I absolutely needed to see this and get that punch to the gut and put myself in a new position and direction. I remember who I am at my core and validate myself and go after my goals and dreams but having a equal give and take.
That snake story just made me single for life.
Just read "The Kid Gallagher Story ". Now here's a guy that really knew how to live. Women chased him. Men wanted to be like him. All dogs wagged their tail when he was around. Too funny that last sentence! I get carried away sometimes 😂.
I know this advice was tailored for a male audience, but honestly these suggestions are great for both genders. I think there is a greater underlying problem in our society that is manifesting as psychological disorders (anxiety, depression) as well as maladaptive socialization en masse. We could all stand to do some self-reflection and work on improving ourselves, for ourselves. We all deserve a chance to pursue happiness, but we commonly fail to realize that it can only truly come from within. We are conditioned more and more to rely on others- especially the state- to fulfill our needs, instead of being taught (or bothering to learn) how to take care of ourselves and what that entails. The younger adults have even started having "adulting" workshops to learn simple stuff our parents taught us, like how to change a tire or fix a clogged drain, without having to pay for an outside "expert" to handle it.
Women or men should never chase. No matter what he/she has going on or how attractive he/she looks. Fall back and observe, you just might dodge a bullet. There are plenty of other people. Know who you are, know your value. Validation comes from God!
Holy shit. I’ve been on and off with the same girl for 4 years now. It’s always amazing until she shuts off and runs away. I could never understand why because “ I try so hard and I’m so good to her”.
I thought I’ve been a good man and partner but I’ve just been... kind of a bitch lol.
You really opened my eyes with this. Thank you
Perhaps you've encountered a woman with a dismissive avoidant personality type.
These are people who bolt/run away when they sense they are getting too(?)close or intimate and in possible danger of getting hurt emotionally-- and those same intense feelings make her feel very vulnerable; like she's out of control or losing her balance, a no-no for people who like being in control of all aspects of their life.
No woman wants a stalker. It is so refreshing to hear someone making sense. I know too many people that refuse that there is a middle ground ie 2 people that respect each other as well as themselves sharing a relationship. Worthwhile men aren't complete pushovers and they aren't overbearing abusive terrors. Nothing is more attractive than a man that is masculine enough to "run off a wolf" and secure enough in himself to love and be attentive and affectionate to those he cares about.
Seemsfamiliar Spoken like a woman.
@@c.k.2405 Thanks for noticing.
This has given me quite a big revelation. He's right about how human's want what we can't have. The more scarce something is, the higher the value. You are going to want an item of clothing more if you know it's the last in stock.
I can use this analogy for my own life, like with my music. I'm persuing a career in art and music, becasue not only do I enjoy it but I know that's it's ambitious and I like a challange. But i never over persue it! As soon as I notice other artists not wanting to work on collaborations, Label's not hitting me back, I simply pull away a little.
IT'S THE SAME THING WITH WOMEN. They are the ultimate testers of masculinity and how strong and poweful you are. It's the perfect mechanism. See we need women in our lives, to actually test us and help us be the best versions of ourselves.
Another analogy I came up with links to my love for gaming. I love difficult games, like dark souls. I always play on the hardest difficulty for a game. I love hunting for platinum trophies. I enjoy the adrenaline of persuing something so difficult to obtain. But again, I never over persue. That would drive me insane. If a video game is bullshit and I'm stuck, I will give it a rest for a while and come back to it later.
Hard work pays off, but naturally we always know when to give ourselves a break. Never chase anything in life. Only persue. You can be a bit desperate for things in life every now and then, that's natural, no one is perfect, but the happy medium is to be safely persuing something to the point where you're happy and it's not driving you crazy!
..You said .. woman are the testers of masculinity and strength. Yes🎉 I choose him🎉 There's nothing else to do because I chose him. So isn't the ball ALL in his court? What's the game your talking about?
Most women these days aren't worth the effort. It's a sad world we live in.
Dave, sadly the media makes this message SEEM true, but there ARE women out there that have been raised in a Traditional family and setting, and want more for themselves as well. It just takes a network of setting them up. Maybe we have to return to the old timey traditions of us Grandmas setting up matchmaking services because we understand the loneliness of not finding the correct person out there for you. People were set up in the old days, with approval, to be courted and to see if there was a spark...this is not just passion, but respect that was demanded by the parents and grandparents because they wanted a strong match that would create good children for the next generation. This was important years ago when society was more communally-based like when you lived in a small town and everyone knew each other, you not only married a person, but a marriage match was a bond between families. So it made the community or village stronger.
Today, children going to school are not even taught things like home economics, how to set up a pantry, etc. If you cannot even feed yourself, how will you take care of a family? Things like this should be accounted for when pursuing a wife. Even so, can many young men today fix things around the house, keep their autos running, and set and keep a family budget? You have to have skill sets, the both of you. If you don't have them, learn them. Many people in the prepper community have these skills and have returned to a traditional life style. So, don't blame the women, just work on yourself and you'd be surprised you might find the one for you when you are doing traditional things. It doesn't hurt to ask friends when seeing a good woman whose taken..."does she have a sister..?" It worked for several people in my family! I've gotten several Uncles who asked those questions and they met some of my Aunts... Good luck to you, and greetings from Chicago~!
@@blukatzen , I have worked on myself and finding the women you described is getting harder every year. Even with a traditional mindset, a lot of women will not keep to those traditions and won't take responsibility plus be held accountable for their actions. I moved out of the US and currently living in China. I'm also dating a Thai girl in Thailand. It's not perfect, but she has a lot of good qualities that most western women seem to be missing these days.
💯 %
@@davecore9305 wish you all the best 😊
@@rohitisalwayspositiv , thank you and I wish the best for you.
Chasing connotes desperation.
I can’t believe I fell for this trap again in my last relationship. Never again.
This has got to be the BEST video on the internet for guys of any age on how to be yourself and how to date and be interested in women. Fantastic advice
Great human to snake analogy. So true man SO TRUE !🇺🇸
Catering too Women comes behind anything you do for you or have to do as a responsible human being and parent but also making time for the small things. It’s a proven fact that women are more attracted to men who’s feelings are unclear! 😎👍🏻
I’m honestly not interested in the guy that doesn’t prioritize his woman. I think this is advice for the overly accommodating guy that truly struggles to have any boundaries. But for a healthy normal guy to be intentionally pissing on his girls needs and wants in order to “establish his boundaries” while making her second to everything else in his life is the biggest turn off I’ve experienced yet. I don’t walk, I run away from that guy. Please don’t follow this advice blindly, court a woman and prioritize her if you wish to have a healthy relationship.
I beg to differ with Mr. Michler.
Love is a choice only truly independent people can make.
The only difference is if she's attracted to you. Just like the "creepy" definition.
Not that anybody wants to hear this, but you should probably be putting God as the center of the universe, not a woman, and definitely not yourself.
Superb advice here....thanks could have saved myself heartache and being pathetic in the past.These are hard learned lessons but an absolute must.
06:00 thats so true. My new gf was so used to geting it here way so when I said no to some random request she'd get pissed. Deep inside they dont want a pushover or a servent. Even if your just chilin
Flee idolatry
16:17 i don't know how good of a strategy is telling her from the get-go i like you, i love you, im attracted to you...
I think instead of saying “chasing” you may wanna replace that with neediness. A man absolutely needs to fight and fight hard for what he wants. This might not always be in line with the relationship goals… Because people intuitively run from chases but I believe neediness is a better way to describe this energy
This is info that should be mandatorily taught in school. We all screw up until we know better. Why have to find out AFTER the emotional destruction :(
Wow, bro. I actually agree with everything you’ve touched on-very, very articulate and my time was not wasted at all. I am truly grateful for this upload-packed full of wisdom with the practical application to boot.
Jared
U rlly can’t do either. She should just be chasing you and that’s it
You don’t have your website linked anywhere, neither the video or your about section. It’s easy to remember, but it’s also a needless obstacle to get to your site.
I definitely find that I've fallen into some of these traps before. Hopefully I will be able to avoid them from here on out.
Hi Ryan!
I’ve been following and Watching your work in the last few weeks.
This podcast, in particulary really ressonates with me.
I love the content and how you deliever the messege.
Great work! And by the way , i like your beard and i myself have a beard too, i consider it a lifestyle! (; it all began with a novement years ago in some kind of solidarity against prostate cancer. from which my grandfather passed away.
Best regards!
Great advice! Makes sense and I think we all kinda know these things but we need to hear them out. One question tho, lets say I've been chasing a woman for a couple of months now. I am literally always there when she requests. I am responding on her messages right away even in the middle of the night. I cut my workouts in the gym short because of her and so on... It is the exact opposite behaviour she is manifesting: not responding to my messages for a whole day, texting me not very often, always calling her friends when we go out. Usually, I am quite confident but she has completely gotten into my head. However, I think that I am making some progress (i think..).
So my question is, is it too late to change my approach and regain some respect or it is kinda done deal?
A little of both. I had the same thing, walked way for 2 months and she suddenly sprung up and asked for a weekend away without her kids. Went sour since then as it turned out shes emotionally unavailable.. but a guy can regain his self esteem and respect which in turn, ladies notice. Just self reflect and change your ways. Doesn't take a girl long to notice
Walk away.
You have made statements suggesting you are self-aware of your immediate and maladaptive "chasing" behaviors-- great first step.
Now, it's up to you to communicate this new way of seeing yourself to the girl/women you desire by letting her know you are aware of and going to stop the unattractive "chasing behaviors." This tells/shows her that your capable of self-correction and she won't need to act the role of Parent or Guardian(a se*ual turn-off).
It will show yourself and her your newfound self-respect and self-validating trust by not letting her not getting back to immediately bother/upset/worry you while you persue those of your developing talents, gifts, or interests that cause you to forget about the passage of time and everything else aka the "flow state".
Over time she'll get the message that you are not just her "beck and call" slave(if you are consistent enough), but a whole/valuable person in your own right.
Good luck and Godspeed.
Show her that your primary interest is in internalizing your own locus of control.
Internalizing your own locus of control makes you capable of making independent choices.
And, it also means never having to wait on anyone else's permission or validation to positively change/improve
the only thing that is/should be totally under your control-- your own life.
Facts! By the way. Nice Beard, Bro.
I’m a woman and I appreciate this video so much!
I’d do a trim of the beard so it’s a little out the way at the bottom
Maybe a inch or so or two
Sometimes there needs to be some space between you and tools
Wouldn’t want your beard ripped off because it gets caught into something
There should be a order of men book.
www.orderofman.com/sovereignty
@@Orderofman wow thanks for the information will check it out
The scorpion and the frog
I would sit with this guy and talk about life.
It's the frog and scorpion. An old Russian fable.
Many different iterations, I'm sure.
You got some fine hair growing outside your chin
4 years later and this video still golden