Is living with our parents still considered filial piety? | Hush Podcast
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- Опубликовано: 6 сен 2024
- The Singapore society is changing. With an ageing population and low birth rate, we need to ensure that we are able to tackle the challenges ahead. The Forward SG is an exercise for all of us to come together, examine our values and aspirations, build consensus and refresh our social compact. In this episode, Hazelle, Germaine and Azura explore the topic of Singapore’s ageing population and the traditional notion of filial piety.
Featuring:
Hazelle - / heyhihazelle
Germaine - / germaineleonora
Azura - / azuragoh
About Hush Podcast:
At Hush, hosts & Radio DJs Germaine Tan, Hazelle Teo and Azura Goh, discuss relationships, health and wellness topics that may be taboo or just plain paiseh to talk about.
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100% agree with Azura. Personally, no kid should feel obliged to "repay" their parents if their parents were unable to meet the needs of their children. I think a lot of people misconstrued the concept of parenting as babysitting. To just financially support your child and not meet the emotional needs of the child is not proper parenting, it basically means that you were a great babysitter. So when it comes to obligations, I think it's ultimately a personal choice. I reckon people who lived with abusive and emotionally negligent parents do end up having to heal from their own traumas which they didn't ask for. Ultimately, being a parent should be a thankless job and people should probably put in more thought into it i.e have better planning (being able to afford your own retirement before you even consider having children). Just my two cents (:
The part where you mentioned “Your parents didn’t leave you when you were young. So you don’t leave them when they’re old” can we reflect back to that statement. What if they MENTALLY left us? Sure they were just there “Physically” but what if they left mentally. As kids, we love it when parents showered us with encouragement and support. So even if they’re just physically in presence but never there mentally, how would you explain that?
my relationship w my parents is distant and there are resentment built up growing up. My thought are fixed on not taking much from them since young with the mindset of staying on my own which came to be. I paid for my own education and never demanded for anything. Therefore, I feel like i dont owe them anything. Unhealed trauma does not support filial piety.
Same
Oh sorry to hear that. You had a bad childhood compared with others.
Filial piety, to me, is different at different stages of my life. When I'm still a school-going kid/teen, filial piety is respecting them, honouring them, and being obedient or at least respectfully explaining my views to them if our opinions differ. As I grow up and start working and earning my keep, on top of all those mentioned previously, need to give them monthly allowance while still providing for myself and my family if I'm married. But as they grow older and become more sickly and need closer care and supervision, then filial piety to me is putting them before myself. Sacrificing my own needs to ensure that all their living and healthcare needs are met.
agree soo much with azura's opinions :'-)
thank you for giving a voice to those whose parents expect their children to support them even if they were not great parents (gambling, abusive etc) themselves. its damn unfair to expect the children to do alot more for their parents when they are alr struggling / their parents didn't even treat them well when they were growing up.
my parents never gave allowance to my grandparents, gambled all their lives and never saved a single cent, were abusive parents who didnt support me thru my education. is it rly rly my responsibility to give them monthly allowance now that im working? i am still giving la, but i just know deep down that its not my responsibility bc they werent responsible/great parents.
i think gahmen imposes expectations (maintenance of parents act) that children should take care of their parents so that these old folks dont 'burden' the society. looking at western countries, they are more supportive of pension benefits but our country has none of that, so gahmen has got confucian values to impose on youngsters who are alr struggling with their day-to-day expenses (@ inflation all-time-high lol)
Agree
Then you only have yourself to blame, since this is the path you chose
I enjoy the insightful and rather detailed discussion on the topic. Thanks also for staying on topic. There are so man podcasts which drift off topic after awhile.
To add my two cents, expecting the government to take care of the basic needs of our parents (elderlies), is asking for too much. As the children, we should take care of their basic needs IF they need. The government has done their job by writing policies to ensure the elderlies are taken care of on a macro scale. E.g. CPF, medisave, CHAS etc.
If parents should not expect children to fund their luxuries (e.g. Rolex watch) when they are old, then children should also not expect parents to fund their luxuries (e.g. concert tickets, expensive smartphones, branded clothes/shoes/accessories) when they were young. Thoughts?
Ofcourse, that's right. To have luxury items, children should earn on their own and not repay back their ungrateful abusive parents. Those parents who just support their children financially by just giving the lowest financial support and putting them into an okay education and act like they did a big favour, they don't deserve a cent from their children. Hope we all move away from such parents.
Duh. Yea lah
To support parents with basic necessities is a moral responsibility. Branded goods, holidays, country club membership etc they can jolly well fund themselves.
(FACTS OVA FEELINGS). Wen Eu r Living with Ur Parents Eu may Not Real-eye the Tuu Impacks of the Negative Effects tha the Famileye System Patterns r having on Eu. One of the Reason for this is tha Every Person Normalizes Their Environment
Every child deserves their parent but not every parent deserves their children.
Point to note here is that Maintenance of Parents act is only used at the most extreme of situations. That’s why you hardly ever hear it being used and the when it is used, the verdict is such that children don’t give obscene amounts. Like filial piety, the law is laid out there, but then there are a bunch of folks that like to misuse these concepts and hit their children hard. Eg. If you don’t give me $x you are unfilial,I can sue you. But if it’s a gambler parent, this law does not applies. And Confucius does explain that in such a situation you don’t have to feed your parents demands (愚孝), instead the filial way to correct them. But Confucius has one requirement for this, he says correct them respectfully.
One helpful way, is to make it fun is to get your parents to do the love language test. Who says the test is only for couples? When you can find out your parents' love language, you can maximize your time and also convey your love more accurately. This way there won't be any misunderstandings and also it sort of will make your life more organized and productive this way. 😊😊😊
Love the sound of this idea 😊 Thanks for sharing May!
Really like this session that explores a lot of options that we can consider to help ourselves and our elderly parents. Thank you ❤
Good content unlike some local channels always come up with lame contents. Only fans interview, etc etc, lane.
Thanks for the podcasts. I’m just a newcomer here but find it useful to watch ur videos. I like the ways the girls break things down and analyze them. It’s so informative and insightful. I really love it.
Thanks for listening and discovering our podcast! Glad you enjoyed it! 🥰
Elderly parents are entitled to monthly family support from their adult children in Singapore by law
Parents are bunch of oldies that need to be reintegrated to new valley homes... Met unfortunate and permanent disabled oldies ... Am worried about my future... Can u please guide me to new era of false love ..
I love Hazelle hair colour😍
So good 👍👍
Did I hear that right..... who is charging you 3% p.a for your investment.....that's criminal.
Does anyone realise azura shoe got ziptie
Downvoted for inaccurate info regarding Singapore's parental support law
ชอบมากๆๆๆ
As a boss of a family business, whenever my staffs take childcare leave on top of all their sick leave and paid leaves, i just feel like its very unfair for my company to bear the expenses of their absence. they aren't working but we still have to pay them and on top of that we have to pay OT to the staff thats taking over the staff on leave. It's not that i don't have any compassion, but if the government want to implement leaves, they should endorse the company with the lost financial cost to compensate, instead of the company tanking it for themselves. if it's a big company it should be fine but a small family business like mine loses out alot. what rly triggered me was the covid-19 issue. Government actually allow staffs to take 1 week paid leave outside of their original paid leave (21 paid leave a yr) without a doctor letter and without any evidence they actually got covid. they dont have to work for 1 week and they get paid. its extremely detrimental to the company cuz if everyone abuses this covid thing, they can go up to half a year of absence and still get paid. the government needs to pay these companies their loses instead of just asking companies to "suck it up, have compassion". HOW ABOUT, the government give us companies some compassion instead?? Doing a business is far from easy already and now the government is just telling us to "suck it up since you are so rich right?"
Close it if u cant make it.
@@Jshun40 i wish that upon you and your life as well, give up if you cant make it. just give up.
You need compassion. You really sound like you do. No one human wishes their children to fall sick, having to take urgent leave to stay at home to look after their kids. Neither they wished upon themselves to get COVID. Viewing sick leave as a luxury or privilege? It’s not. If your staffs abuses the system then it’s time to re-evaluate the people that you hire. Not whether you should get more support from the government.
@@vivian6519 asking me to have more compassion but here you are shitting on me though 😂 hypocrites are my favourite
@@libraries144 Which part on my comment is shitting on you? I'm stating out the facts instead of pointing fingers at you. You're too sensitive my dear. But really, look for better and loyal employees.
Why Germaine act stupid when Azura said "reap what you sow" XD then followed by the low blow about the law to demand money from their children. Damn strange. She cannot accept opposing views ah? siao
When devotee get more excited : - ruclips.net/video/-daSts1QqHw/видео.html. 😜😀🤣
This comment section: trauma dumping 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
It's a moral responsibility of a child to take care of there parents when they are unable to do so
And if it is a question for you to take care of your parents or not
Then you don't deserve your parents
That’s an extremely shallow point of view. Abusive parents deserve nothing. Their children didn’t choose to be born slaves.
@@BennnWJK I am talking about normal scenario
@@shaileshmaurya5318 westerner like myself thinks differently to u n so does most parents... my father i look after but he will say leave him be and persue ur own life... choose a wife over ur family! but then again he has retirement a home and he has government medical care as a vet in the armed forces... n got disability from his services...
so roughly about 5300 a month retirement n a paid off home n free medical care... he pretty well off!
if u cant sustain urself then shame on u! like with america.. if u didnt take advantage of working mcdonalds and didnt further ur own education to become better and u worked mcdonalds all ur life with nothing to show for it... why should ur kids bail u out?
idk about singapore but mcdonalds in america has programs they help u with tuition in college/uni... also they have a decent medical care system with them...
@@shaileshmaurya5318 What's normal?