I had been with my daughters father for almost eight years before I walked away from abuse I made so many excuses for. A little over a year ago, we had a fight in front of our two-year old. Though I attempted to leave the room multiple times, he just got louder and more hateful. Our daughter in this tiny two-year old voice, pointed at her father and yelled at him to be nice. It absolutely broke me! It was then I knew just how influenced and aware she was of the abuse in our relationship, and I knew that day when I left that I wasn't coming back. Being in that type of abusive relationship always leaves you scared in some way, because your kids keep you connected, and as you know the abuse always continues in some shape or form. I sometimes think he's angry that I'm still living my life the way I intended to. Our breakup has been incredibly hard on me in so many ways, and I'm currently sleeping, working, and homeschooling in my parents dining room. I'm incredibly thankful for my parents, because we have a roof over our head and have gone without nothing. I'm taking every day at a time, and I refuse to allow him to take anything further from me. So while this isn't the way I pictured things, my child is safe emotionally and physically, and she's thriving. I still have a long way to go, but I'm in a place I can heal. I'm so incredibly thankful I found your channel! Thank you for sharing your story. It's obvious this wasn't the easiest thing to speak to yourself, let alone share it with the world. Thank you!
Thanks you for sharing your story ❤️ I’m happy that you have support through this. Stay strong mama! The day I realized that I was teaching my children what kind of relationship they should expect for themselves, was the day I knew I had to leave. We must show our children better
@@HomeschoolHappyHour That's exactly it! I knew that I'd never want to see my daughter being treated the way I was, or to feel the way I did. The moment I realized that she was soaking in the toxicity in my home, I knew I needed to do better by myself so that she could have better. It was important for me that she knew that loving yourself was the most important relationship she could have, and sometimes loving yourself means walking away from that which no longer pours into you. Even when leaving may hurt too. For me, I think I had stayed so long hoping we'd finally be able to resolve our burdens and have the happy healthy family I so badly desired. Sometimes the only way to get that, is to walk away so we can build that future with another. I'm so happy you were able to find that person and have built this beautiful life for yourself, and hopefully I'll find that one day too. In the meantime, I'm finally feeling excitement for things to come again and can't wait to start this next journey in mine and my daughters life!
I am in this current situation. CN. No one else experiences what I see. Except for sometimes the kids. Right now my challenge is finding representation that believes homeschooling and working is possible after divorce.
I just discovered this video and began crying uncontrollably (alone in my vehicle) from about 5 minutes on. You are speaking my language SO much, sister. Been in an emotionally abusive marriage for 21 years and homeschooling my 2 daughters for the past 4. I am completely financially independent at this point and do NOT want to give up homeschool as it is probably the most important thing to me for my girls. I have no family close by (we travel full time- which is amazing and also a crazy juxtaposition), and no support. I’ve apologized for reading, too. There’s been many days when I felt like I needed to go through the entire checklist (mental and physical) of my accomplishments for the day so that my husband will feel like I’ve done “enough”. I’m in therapy, my nervous system is shot, and if it weren’t for my girls I would have left the planet a long time ago. 😢 Anyway, ALL of that to say… I’m doing everything I can to heal it come up with some sort of a plan for my future. I would love to know more logistics of how you were able to do this the first year after divorce. I don’t even think I can afford a divorce to begin with😉
The first year wasn’t the hardest logistically. Me ex agreed to the divorce and signed the papers with an understanding that we would continue homeschooling for the time. I think he knew that I had more power than I realized and was just as afraid of going to court as I was. By the time we did end up in court to argue to PP, I was able to argue for consistency in continuing homeschooling. Shortly after all of that COVID hit and the public schools shut down. It’s been so long now that I think he would have a hard time forcing public school. The silver lining of COVID has been that people are more aware of the deficiencies of PS and homeschooling is becoming more accepted. During that first year I worked and received a small amount of CS. I moved in with my current husband earlier than I would probably have otherwise, but fortunately that worked out splendidly. I’m so sorry that you had to experience an abusive relationship! Please feel free to reach out through IG and I’m happy to chat more details or just listen. It’s so important to feel heard and understood
What a precious message! ❤️ Wow. Thank you for bravely sharing your story. You're right; there's almost no information on the internet regarding this issue, and it's really sad. The stories in the comments on this video make me cry, but I'm so grateful for your sweet message of encouragement! There IS hope and help for struggling mamas. ❤
Wow, what an incredible video. First of all, it is adorable that your dad watches your videos, and I bet that he is so proud of you and everything you have accomplished!! You are a strong, intelligent woman and mother, you have pulled your girls up with you to their fullest potential, and you did it with all that baggage from your ex trying to pull you down. You are a true super hero and I am so proud of all that you have done. 🥰 Thank you for sharing your emotional journey, it must be surreal to be making a video to help others now that you can look at it from the other side. You made it. You did it. It was all you and you are amazing. Congratulations on your extraordinary achievements!!! 🥰🥰🥰
@@HomeschoolHappyHour Well your videos have made me cry enough times, payback! 😉 Naw all kidding aside, I pretend that we are friends and I am just so proud of all that you have accomplished. I wish that we could hang out and just talk about crazy life experiences, but this is the next best thing, as neither of us would have time even if we lived next door! You are amazing and I am so happy to have you and your videos in my life as a woman, mom, homeschooler, you are an inspiration. 🥰
Emotional abuse is awful. It’s hard to prove it even to ourselves. I’m glad you’re out of there and in a much healthier relationship. Thank you so much for sharing.
If I ever took a nap, went and washed my hair or sat and read a book my ex would guilt trip me, ignore me, sulk and give me the cold shoulder for hours after. It got to a point where the only time he'd leave me alone is when I'd be walking around the house non stop cleanup after him and the kids or making them food. He would lay around A LOT and look at his phone and call it taking care of the kids.
I would like to thank you for the video also. I believe it is a subject that should be expanded on also homeschooling when father is absent entirely ( incarcerated) I feel like there is very little info on that and I have a good friend doing it while the father is in prison for some time. But there is toxicity around the relationship and so she at times feels too stressed mentally to homeschool. Many times people only assume you can homeschool in a perfect situation ( stay at home mom) but the truth is many have to do it even in non ideal situations. Anyway thank you for this.
Thank you. You are absolutely correct. There need to be more information about homeschooling in a variety of situations so that all homeschoolers know they are not alone and that there is support out there.
I'm SO GLAD that your video popped up! I'd never seen or heard from you before, but your the title was a must-click. Going through a divorce right now. Will be co-parenting, and continuing to homeschool. Our time is split 50/50, and while I do all the planning and manage all the legalities, my ex-husband will also be homeschooling when the kids are with him. He is not a big fan of homeschool, but we were able to come to an agreement that our oldest would go to a hybrid school 1-2 days/week. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing your story! I'm so glad that things worked out well for your kids in terms of homeschooling!
♥️EVERYTHING you experienced is my current reality. Married 9.5 years, 3 children, SAHM for 4 years, homeschool mom for 3 years, closest family is 6 states away. My family is 💯% supportive and I just paid my retainer today. 💗 I am looking forward to following your channel.
Thank you for sharing something so personal. I hope no one ever has to go through this, but it will be a valuable resource for other woman who are in the position you were in 💙💙💙
I know all too well how difficult it is to talk about emotional abuse. I was fortunate that I did not have children yet and so it was fairly “easy” for me to walk away, legally speaking. Emotionally, extremely difficult. My friends took sides. My best friend, since middle school, was a member of his family and chose his side. He was one of those covert narcissists. He was always happy, joking, everyone’s favorite goofball in public. So everyone was shocked when I left and many didn’t believe me. They chose to believe his lies about me instead. My best friend said some very hurtful things to me and we no longer keep in touch. I wish I had known about that hotline at the time. I planned my escape for a year without telling anyone. If anyone found out, they would have talked me out of it, or told him. Anyway, thank you for telling your story, or at least, what you were sort of comfortable telling. Emotional abuse is so stigmatized that often we keep it to ourselves. Knowing that others have been through what we have, can mean all of the world to someone.
Thank you. You are so right! The lies and slander that they will go to after is astonishing and their flying monkeys (other people spreading their fiction) can sometimes hurt even more than the separation itself. That was one of the most unexpected and painful pieces for me after.
A very powerful message it is very brave to put it all out there to help someone else! It is great to see someone use their platform to speak on realities that people face in the world, and offer resources that they can use if they need to.
@@HomeschoolHappyHour I totally saw that and felt it, but know you handled it with incredible grace! What I tell my self when I have to do things that are hard but necessary, is I have to be the change that we want to see in this world. Glad you and your family are in a better place now! Wish you all the best!
I'm not going to watch the entire video because I'm concerned about being triggered, but I do want to thank you for posting it. I'm divorced and living with my new partner and I am the primary person responsible for parenting and homeschool. It's a unique dynamic and I like seeing different family situations represented when it comes to homeschooling.
Thank you so much for your strength in posting this Melody. My heart goes out to you as a fellow mom who came out of a very similar situation and has started over in a relationship with my best friend. I was wanting to chat to see if you could give some insight as to the legality of your fight to home school. I'm a past public school educator as well but my child who I had in my first marriage is in kindergarten and I'd like to begin homeschooling him and want to be prepared as to how that may go if his other biological parent isn't on board with me taking him out of public school next year. Again thank you for all of your videos you are someone I personally relate to on many levels and especially as a mother and I've been binging your videos recently trying to get the courage to bring up the homeschool discussion with my ex in particular.
Hello. It’s nice to meet you. Of course my first piece of advice to to consult and retain an attorney. I certainly cannot give any legal advice, but if you want to chat the best way is to send me a message on Instagram @homeschool_happyhour.
This was an incredible video. Thank you for it I am going to send it to my brother. My brothers kids aren't homeschooled but his relationship is toxic and he won't leave because she tells him that she will take the kids and he will never see them again and tells him she will get all of his paycheck for child support, so he stays. He won't listen to me but maybe the website will help him see that he has a choice.
What an incredible video ❤ I also came from a DV situation and this video struck a cord with me. I absolutely understood everything you said, emotional abuse is scarring and it changes you for life. I still am triggered by many things even today but I am free. I can be myself now. Thank you for sharing, it’s never easy to do ❤❤❤❤❤
I'm in this exact situation right now, I don't know how to leave and he tells me he'll take my kids because I won't be able to provide for them. I'm afraid of leaving them with him for any length of time, because he's so damaging and also completely incapable of taking care of anyone including himself. How did you get out? How did you make the escape and still provide? I have no money, nowhere to go, and my family is great but they also don't have a place for my kids and I to stay, nor could they offer financial assistance.
Thank you for being brave enough to share this video. I am so glad that you have been able to find your happy place, and I hope that this video will inspire others to do the same. Thank you for sharing these resources. Having options and resources is so important to giving you confidence.
I just found your channel, and I know this had to have been so difficult to share. Been there and done that. But please know that you will probably change someone's life with this video. Thank you for being so vulnerable in order to make a difference. 💕
- is not uncommon that disagreement about homeschooling leads to divorce. - was your husband agreed about homeschooling did you give him a saying about it? - was your best friend always in your life? Even thru your marriage? -did you cheat on your ex to get out of that relationship? -does the father of your kids have a saying on their upbringing? -how much of his income goes out on child support ? -does the father has any kind of custody? -abuse is real, but I would like to hear his side of the story as well.
-I don’t think it’s as common as you suggest -it was originally HIS idea -no, my husband and I met AFTER my first marriage ended -no -yes -VERY little. My husband supports our children more than their father. -yes -ask him. I’m sure he’ll tell you he’s perfect
@@HomeschoolHappyHour something doesn't square up, you are going to tell me that you just met this guy and he was willing to marry you knowing that you don't work and homeschool 4 kids. Something doesn't make sense, you should buy a lottery ticket and probably hit the jackpot, because it just doesn't happen that way.
@elmarsupial6483 sometimes things just work out. I had two kids and he had two kids. Unlike some people he values my time and energy as a SAHM. Whether or not that “adds up” for you is irrelevant.
It's so hard :( that was my norm too, the constant fear that you weren't doing enough and they'd snap on you. My ex actually decided to marry his affair partner, that I didn't know about, so thankfully he kicked me and the boys out which made that separation so much easier. Because he was so desperate to marry her quickly he signed the parenting plan to let me homeschool. Our relationship lasted 13 years. I'm so glad it's over. The boys are happier than they've been ever too.
What a much-needed video in the homeschooling (and outside) community. May I suggest that you look into the book: From Silent Desperation to Quiet Strength Paperback - July 27, 2022 by Deborah Jayne (Author) She is a friend of mine who just published her story about this exact area (though her kids had graduated from homeschool when she left). Lots of similar feelings, conversations, and situations, that all will benefit from hearing her story.♥
@@HomeschoolHappyHour I just found your videos and this was the first one I watched. I see that you title a lot of videos: secular homeschooling. The book I just recommended is from the Christian perspective but addresses everyone in a situation like this. May it bless you in any way.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am in the middle of divorcing, have been homeschooling for twelve years and I haven't had an outside job all that time. Even thought my soon to be ex has said he wants them to continue to HS, he has been lying about a lot of different things since the divorce started. I never finished my degree and I have hit a road block on what financially significant job I can do. So far nobody is calling me for an interview and I am very concern of the future. Can you please make another vid with tip and more resources for the financial part. Did your kids stayed in hs or they went to public school eventually? TY
I’m so sorry that you are experiencing this. It is truly terrible and even terrifying. I wish I had fix all answers about the financial situation, but there are so many different factors in each situation that is hard to generalize. Yes, my kids are still homeschooling, but my oldest attend PS part time. I would be happy to talk through things with you one on one or just be a listening ear if you want to DM me on Instagram or send an email.
I glossed over a lot of details… because it was more chaotic talk about than I had anticipated and because my point wasn’t in the details so much as that it can be done. That first year was rough financially. I worked part time, but was fortunate to be able to collect some child support and had the support of my current husband. However, homeschooling can be done while being employed full time too.
@@HomeschoolHappyHour While I definitely understand that you didn't want to get bogged down in the details, I would assert that, in this instance, the details actually matter. It means little to show up in a video and say "you can do this thing!" without giving any information at all about HOW it can be done. What you revealed in your answer above is that you did it by getting child support (which many moms don't) and by having the support of your then-boyfriend/now husband (many moms don't have that either). To say "it can be done!" without explaining in practical terms HOW it can be done is unfair to your audience. And, in the end, the summary of this is: It can be done if you're lucky, you're fortunate, and you have a lot of support. I'm so glad that you have that, but again... MANY single moms don't. Glossing over all of these real obstacles with a gauzy "I did it, and you can too!" is a real disservice to your watchers.
I’m sorry if you see it as a disservice. The problem is that EVERY situation is different, so the details of my situation aren’t as important to the masses as knowing there are options: many of which I listed. I had planned to go into more detail but it was challenging and I chose to keep it simple. If someone wants to talk to me about specifics- I am happy to have a one in one conversation with anyone interested in reaching out.
I had been with my daughters father for almost eight years before I walked away from abuse I made so many excuses for. A little over a year ago, we had a fight in front of our two-year old. Though I attempted to leave the room multiple times, he just got louder and more hateful. Our daughter in this tiny two-year old voice, pointed at her father and yelled at him to be nice. It absolutely broke me! It was then I knew just how influenced and aware she was of the abuse in our relationship, and I knew that day when I left that I wasn't coming back. Being in that type of abusive relationship always leaves you scared in some way, because your kids keep you connected, and as you know the abuse always continues in some shape or form. I sometimes think he's angry that I'm still living my life the way I intended to. Our breakup has been incredibly hard on me in so many ways, and I'm currently sleeping, working, and homeschooling in my parents dining room. I'm incredibly thankful for my parents, because we have a roof over our head and have gone without nothing. I'm taking every day at a time, and I refuse to allow him to take anything further from me. So while this isn't the way I pictured things, my child is safe emotionally and physically, and she's thriving. I still have a long way to go, but I'm in a place I can heal. I'm so incredibly thankful I found your channel! Thank you for sharing your story. It's obvious this wasn't the easiest thing to speak to yourself, let alone share it with the world. Thank you!
Thanks you for sharing your story ❤️ I’m happy that you have support through this. Stay strong mama! The day I realized that I was teaching my children what kind of relationship they should expect for themselves, was the day I knew I had to leave. We must show our children better
@@HomeschoolHappyHour That's exactly it! I knew that I'd never want to see my daughter being treated the way I was, or to feel the way I did. The moment I realized that she was soaking in the toxicity in my home, I knew I needed to do better by myself so that she could have better. It was important for me that she knew that loving yourself was the most important relationship she could have, and sometimes loving yourself means walking away from that which no longer pours into you. Even when leaving may hurt too. For me, I think I had stayed so long hoping we'd finally be able to resolve our burdens and have the happy healthy family I so badly desired. Sometimes the only way to get that, is to walk away so we can build that future with another. I'm so happy you were able to find that person and have built this beautiful life for yourself, and hopefully I'll find that one day too. In the meantime, I'm finally feeling excitement for things to come again and can't wait to start this next journey in mine and my daughters life!
I am in this current situation. CN. No one else experiences what I see. Except for sometimes the kids. Right now my challenge is finding representation that believes homeschooling and working is possible after divorce.
I’m so sorry that you are dealing with that! I hope it helps to know that some of us understand and are rooting for you 💕
@@HomeschoolHappyHour Thank you! Yes, it does!
I just discovered this video and began crying uncontrollably (alone in my vehicle) from about 5 minutes on. You are speaking my language SO much, sister. Been in an emotionally abusive marriage for 21 years and homeschooling my 2 daughters for the past 4. I am completely financially independent at this point and do NOT want to give up homeschool as it is probably the most important thing to me for my girls. I have no family close by (we travel full time- which is amazing and also a crazy juxtaposition), and no support. I’ve apologized for reading, too. There’s been many days when I felt like I needed to go through the entire checklist (mental and physical) of my accomplishments for the day so that my husband will feel like I’ve done “enough”. I’m in therapy, my nervous system is shot, and if it weren’t for my girls I would have left the planet a long time ago. 😢 Anyway, ALL of that to say… I’m doing everything I can to heal it come up with some sort of a plan for my future. I would love to know more logistics of how you were able to do this the first year after divorce. I don’t even think I can afford a divorce to begin with😉
The first year wasn’t the hardest logistically. Me ex agreed to the divorce and signed the papers with an understanding that we would continue homeschooling for the time. I think he knew that I had more power than I realized and was just as afraid of going to court as I was. By the time we did end up in court to argue to PP, I was able to argue for consistency in continuing homeschooling. Shortly after all of that COVID hit and the public schools shut down. It’s been so long now that I think he would have a hard time forcing public school. The silver lining of COVID has been that people are more aware of the deficiencies of PS and homeschooling is becoming more accepted. During that first year I worked and received a small amount of CS. I moved in with my current husband earlier than I would probably have otherwise, but fortunately that worked out splendidly.
I’m so sorry that you had to experience an abusive relationship! Please feel free to reach out through IG and I’m happy to chat more details or just listen. It’s so important to feel heard and understood
What a precious message! ❤️ Wow. Thank you for bravely sharing your story. You're right; there's almost no information on the internet regarding this issue, and it's really sad. The stories in the comments on this video make me cry, but I'm so grateful for your sweet message of encouragement! There IS hope and help for struggling mamas. ❤
Thank you for this.
Wow, what an incredible video. First of all, it is adorable that your dad watches your videos, and I bet that he is so proud of you and everything you have accomplished!! You are a strong, intelligent woman and mother, you have pulled your girls up with you to their fullest potential, and you did it with all that baggage from your ex trying to pull you down. You are a true super hero and I am so proud of all that you have done. 🥰 Thank you for sharing your emotional journey, it must be surreal to be making a video to help others now that you can look at it from the other side. You made it. You did it. It was all you and you are amazing. Congratulations on your extraordinary achievements!!! 🥰🥰🥰
Ok- so that made me cry. Thank you for your kind words 💕🥺
@@HomeschoolHappyHour Well your videos have made me cry enough times, payback! 😉 Naw all kidding aside, I pretend that we are friends and I am just so proud of all that you have accomplished. I wish that we could hang out and just talk about crazy life experiences, but this is the next best thing, as neither of us would have time even if we lived next door! You are amazing and I am so happy to have you and your videos in my life as a woman, mom, homeschooler, you are an inspiration. 🥰
Emotional abuse is awful. It’s hard to prove it even to ourselves. I’m glad you’re out of there and in a much healthier relationship. Thank you so much for sharing.
You are so right!
If I ever took a nap, went and washed my hair or sat and read a book my ex would guilt trip me, ignore me, sulk and give me the cold shoulder for hours after. It got to a point where the only time he'd leave me alone is when I'd be walking around the house non stop cleanup after him and the kids or making them food. He would lay around A LOT and look at his phone and call it taking care of the kids.
I’m glad to hear he is your EX. Nobody needs people like that in their lives.
I would like to thank you for the video also. I believe it is a subject that should be expanded on also homeschooling when father is absent entirely ( incarcerated) I feel like there is very little info on that and I have a good friend doing it while the father is in prison for some time. But there is toxicity around the relationship and so she at times feels too stressed mentally to homeschool. Many times people only assume you can homeschool in a perfect situation ( stay at home mom) but the truth is many have to do it even in non ideal situations. Anyway thank you for this.
Thank you. You are absolutely correct. There need to be more information about homeschooling in a variety of situations so that all homeschoolers know they are not alone and that there is support out there.
I'm SO GLAD that your video popped up! I'd never seen or heard from you before, but your the title was a must-click. Going through a divorce right now. Will be co-parenting, and continuing to homeschool. Our time is split 50/50, and while I do all the planning and manage all the legalities, my ex-husband will also be homeschooling when the kids are with him. He is not a big fan of homeschool, but we were able to come to an agreement that our oldest would go to a hybrid school 1-2 days/week. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing your story! I'm so glad that things worked out well for your kids in terms of homeschooling!
Thank you. I wish you and your family the best of luck as you navigate your new life ❤️
Thank you for talking about such a difficult and sensitive subject. Unfortunately I can relate to to this so much.
❤️ I hope it helps to know you aren’t alone
Kayla. We love and appreciate you. And love you and your show.. things happen I know.. life is too short.
♥️EVERYTHING you experienced is my current reality. Married 9.5 years, 3 children, SAHM for 4 years, homeschool mom for 3 years, closest family is 6 states away. My family is 💯% supportive and I just paid my retainer today. 💗 I am looking forward to following your channel.
I’m glad you have support and are getting legal help! Good job and best of luck 💕
@@HomeschoolHappyHour ❤
Thank you for sharing something so personal. I hope no one ever has to go through this, but it will be a valuable resource for other woman who are in the position you were in 💙💙💙
I know all too well how difficult it is to talk about emotional abuse. I was fortunate that I did not have children yet and so it was fairly “easy” for me to walk away, legally speaking. Emotionally, extremely difficult. My friends took sides. My best friend, since middle school, was a member of his family and chose his side. He was one of those covert narcissists. He was always happy, joking, everyone’s favorite goofball in public. So everyone was shocked when I left and many didn’t believe me. They chose to believe his lies about me instead. My best friend said some very hurtful things to me and we no longer keep in touch. I wish I had known about that hotline at the time. I planned my escape for a year without telling anyone. If anyone found out, they would have talked me out of it, or told him. Anyway, thank you for telling your story, or at least, what you were sort of comfortable telling. Emotional abuse is so stigmatized that often we keep it to ourselves. Knowing that others have been through what we have, can mean all of the world to someone.
Thank you. You are so right! The lies and slander that they will go to after is astonishing and their flying monkeys (other people spreading their fiction) can sometimes hurt even more than the separation itself. That was one of the most unexpected and painful pieces for me after.
A very powerful message it is very brave to put it all out there to help someone else! It is great to see someone use their platform to speak on realities that people face in the world, and offer resources that they can use if they need to.
Thank you. It is definitely the most challenging video that I have put together
@@HomeschoolHappyHour I totally saw that and felt it, but know you handled it with incredible grace! What I tell my self when I have to do things that are hard but necessary, is I have to be the change that we want to see in this world. Glad you and your family are in a better place now! Wish you all the best!
I'm not going to watch the entire video because I'm concerned about being triggered, but I do want to thank you for posting it. I'm divorced and living with my new partner and I am the primary person responsible for parenting and homeschool. It's a unique dynamic and I like seeing different family situations represented when it comes to homeschooling.
Thank you so much for your strength in posting this Melody. My heart goes out to you as a fellow mom who came out of a very similar situation and has started over in a relationship with my best friend. I was wanting to chat to see if you could give some insight as to the legality of your fight to home school. I'm a past public school educator as well but my child who I had in my first marriage is in kindergarten and I'd like to begin homeschooling him and want to be prepared as to how that may go if his other biological parent isn't on board with me taking him out of public school next year. Again thank you for all of your videos you are someone I personally relate to on many levels and especially as a mother and I've been binging your videos recently trying to get the courage to bring up the homeschool discussion with my ex in particular.
Hello. It’s nice to meet you. Of course my first piece of advice to to consult and retain an attorney. I certainly cannot give any legal advice, but if you want to chat the best way is to send me a message on Instagram @homeschool_happyhour.
This was an incredible video. Thank you for it I am going to send it to my brother. My brothers kids aren't homeschooled but his relationship is toxic and he won't leave because she tells him that she will take the kids and he will never see them again and tells him she will get all of his paycheck for child support, so he stays. He won't listen to me but maybe the website will help him see that he has a choice.
It can be hard to see beyond the challenge, but there are resources out there to help.
What an incredible video ❤ I also came from a DV situation and this video struck a cord with me. I absolutely understood everything you said, emotional abuse is scarring and it changes you for life. I still am triggered by many things even today but I am free. I can be myself now. Thank you for sharing, it’s never easy to do ❤❤❤❤❤
I’m happy that you are in a better place 💕
I'm in this exact situation right now, I don't know how to leave and he tells me he'll take my kids because I won't be able to provide for them. I'm afraid of leaving them with him for any length of time, because he's so damaging and also completely incapable of taking care of anyone including himself. How did you get out? How did you make the escape and still provide?
I have no money, nowhere to go, and my family is great but they also don't have a place for my kids and I to stay, nor could they offer financial assistance.
It’s complicated and I am happy to chat more with you if you want to reach out via DM on Instagram or by email💕
Im in this exact situation right now
Thank you for being brave enough to share this video. I am so glad that you have been able to find your happy place, and I hope that this video will inspire others to do the same. Thank you for sharing these resources. Having options and resources is so important to giving you confidence.
Agreed ❤️
I just found your channel, and I know this had to have been so difficult to share. Been there and done that. But please know that you will probably change someone's life with this video. Thank you for being so vulnerable in order to make a difference. 💕
Thank you 💕
What an amazing (and important) video, thank you for sharing! So courageous!
Thank you
- is not uncommon that disagreement about homeschooling leads to divorce.
- was your husband agreed about homeschooling did you give him a saying about it?
- was your best friend always in your life? Even thru your marriage?
-did you cheat on your ex to get out of that relationship?
-does the father of your kids have a saying on their upbringing?
-how much of his income goes out on child support ?
-does the father has any kind of custody?
-abuse is real, but I would like to hear his side of the story as well.
-I don’t think it’s as common as you suggest
-it was originally HIS idea
-no, my husband and I met AFTER my first marriage ended
-no
-yes
-VERY little. My husband supports our children more than their father.
-yes
-ask him. I’m sure he’ll tell you he’s perfect
@@HomeschoolHappyHour ruclips.net/video/k0z9lTT320c/видео.htmlsi=AlGgSlkM06HxfrXL
@@HomeschoolHappyHour something doesn't square up, you are going to tell me that you just met this guy and he was willing to marry you knowing that you don't work and homeschool 4 kids. Something doesn't make sense, you should buy a lottery ticket and probably hit the jackpot, because it just doesn't happen that way.
@elmarsupial6483 sometimes things just work out. I had two kids and he had two kids. Unlike some people he values my time and energy as a SAHM. Whether or not that “adds up” for you is irrelevant.
@@HomeschoolHappyHour I don't care really, at this time my kids still sleep under the same roof with their father.
It's so hard :( that was my norm too, the constant fear that you weren't doing enough and they'd snap on you. My ex actually decided to marry his affair partner, that I didn't know about, so thankfully he kicked me and the boys out which made that separation so much easier. Because he was so desperate to marry her quickly he signed the parenting plan to let me homeschool. Our relationship lasted 13 years. I'm so glad it's over. The boys are happier than they've been ever too.
I’m happy that you are out of that situation. Nobody deserves to live that way.
Thank you sharing .
What a much-needed video in the homeschooling (and outside) community. May I suggest that you look into the book: From Silent Desperation to Quiet Strength Paperback - July 27, 2022
by Deborah Jayne (Author)
She is a friend of mine who just published her story about this exact area (though her kids had graduated from homeschool when she left). Lots of similar feelings, conversations, and situations, that all will benefit from hearing her story.♥
Thank you for the book recommendation. I will check that out 💕
@@HomeschoolHappyHour I just found your videos and this was the first one I watched. I see that you title a lot of videos: secular homeschooling. The book I just recommended is from the Christian perspective but addresses everyone in a situation like this. May it bless you in any way.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am in the middle of divorcing, have been homeschooling for twelve years and I haven't had an outside job all that time. Even thought my soon to be ex has said he wants them to continue to HS, he has been lying about a lot of different things since the divorce started. I never finished my degree and I have hit a road block on what financially significant job I can do. So far nobody is calling me for an interview and I am very concern of the future. Can you please make another vid with tip and more resources for the financial part. Did your kids stayed in hs or they went to public school eventually? TY
I’m so sorry that you are experiencing this. It is truly terrible and even terrifying. I wish I had fix all answers about the financial situation, but there are so many different factors in each situation that is hard to generalize. Yes, my kids are still homeschooling, but my oldest attend PS part time. I would be happy to talk through things with you one on one or just be a listening ear if you want to DM me on Instagram or send an email.
So... what did you do for the year after your divorce to afford to stay home with your kids and homeschool? That part was very much glossed over.
I glossed over a lot of details… because it was more chaotic talk about than I had anticipated and because my point wasn’t in the details so much as that it can be done. That first year was rough financially. I worked part time, but was fortunate to be able to collect some child support and had the support of my current husband. However, homeschooling can be done while being employed full time too.
@@HomeschoolHappyHour While I definitely understand that you didn't want to get bogged down in the details, I would assert that, in this instance, the details actually matter. It means little to show up in a video and say "you can do this thing!" without giving any information at all about HOW it can be done. What you revealed in your answer above is that you did it by getting child support (which many moms don't) and by having the support of your then-boyfriend/now husband (many moms don't have that either). To say "it can be done!" without explaining in practical terms HOW it can be done is unfair to your audience. And, in the end, the summary of this is: It can be done if you're lucky, you're fortunate, and you have a lot of support. I'm so glad that you have that, but again... MANY single moms don't. Glossing over all of these real obstacles with a gauzy "I did it, and you can too!" is a real disservice to your watchers.
I’m sorry if you see it as a disservice. The problem is that EVERY situation is different, so the details of my situation aren’t as important to the masses as knowing there are options: many of which I listed. I had planned to go into more detail but it was challenging and I chose to keep it simple. If someone wants to talk to me about specifics- I am happy to have a one in one conversation with anyone interested in reaching out.
Thanks for sharing.