I tried the "no dress code" thing in an effort to make people comfortable and ended up doing the opposite. I had one person who came and felt so uncomfortable because others dressed up, while she dressed down. She would have preferred to be told what to wear. What I learned is that guidelines sometimes HELP people. Cuts down the second-guessing and feeling awkward.
We held a party that was basically just a reception. People were told "casual to semi formal". Some people showed up in "nicer" clothes (think business casual, like a button down and jeans, or a summer dress), but most just dressed on the nicer end of casual. I had my dress but I was so busy setting up (ballin on a budget lol) that I ended up not even changing into it, so I wore jeans and an anime t shirt all day. I definitely second having a clear dress code, it's just all about where you draw the lines for people! We joked that anyone in a suit would be kicked out lol, people got the picture
During my friend’s wedding, they recited “traditional” vows out loud then exchanged written personal vows and read them privately (still during the ceremony, standing up in front of everyone). There was music playing and it was still sweet being able to see them react to each other’s vows, so I personally didn’t feel strange or left out.
Kinda surprised me. Surely that means she's got at least a few people on her list who don't drink caffeine (I know it's a debated topic but I've never been in a ward that didn't have people on the no side) so it surprises me she wouldn't be interested in giving them one non-water option.
@@jillk4461@jillk4461 its not a caffeine thing mormons are notorius soft drink drinkers, they inhale coke, dr pepper etc etc like oxygen, theres so many soda shops in Utah cos of it Its just coffee & tea, which is still very weird but yeah mormons love their caffeine
Once upon a time I went to a friend’s wedding where SOs were not sat with their partner’s at the head table. I ended up being seated at a table with ALL of the bridesmaid’s boyfriends/husbands. I’m a girl. Who knew none of them. I’ve never felt more like an afterthought
My fiancé was in a wedding where I was not at the head table. I didn’t know anyone, and they had no seating chart. It was possibly the most uncomfortable experience of my life, and it definitely made me hyper aware of the guest experience for our wedding.
Regarding the 1st look: my son just got married to the love of his life. Throughout the whole wedding planning, the most desired thing they both wanted was for my son to see her walk down the isle. 2 minutes before the ceremony MOTB tells a groomsman that the bride changed her mind and wanted my son to turn until given a signal. He did (because that's what the bride wanted). On their way to turn in the marriage certificate, the bride asked him: why did you turn around and not watch me walking down the aisle?" Turns out, MOTB changed the ceremony because that's what SHE wanted, not what the bride wanted. They both cried about it because that moment has been robbed from them, forever. No do-overs, no take backs. Gone. Had they done a private 1st look, this could have been avoided.
The no seating chart is a disaster. My niece and her husband did this and some non-family people claimed all the tables near dance floor and family of bride and groom (including grandparents) were left to scramble for seats. It was awkward - seated at a table with 4 or 5 chairs people were dragging one more over - just chaos and sad for grandparents who wanted to see the “action” but couldn’t from their back of the room seats. Horrible idea.
Lol it just seems like some people are trying TOO HARD to have “unconventional weddings.” The comment about “just show up in whatever you wore to work” just seems like she’s trying too hard to be unique. Also the “only Red Bull and Diet Coke” made me say “ew” aloud.
never mind that, that actually is a fun and unique thing to do for a wedding. as a metalhead goth I'd really appreciate getting to wear whatever I want and feeling comfortable instead of stressing if anything I own is normal enough or if I can afford a more toned down formal dress. what about the girl saying "controversial opinion... I want to have a wedding cake" like come on! so dumb... we don't need to feel special for doing normal things. it's OK to be average! but yeah... diet coke and red bull? of course they're mormon...
She mentioned “Temple”, which means that she’s probably Mormon. No alcohol or caffeine is allowed at Mormon wedding receptions (which a lot of them also occur in a school gymnasium)
I absolutely love your videos! Just want to add on the cake topic - my wedding venue told us we could bring boxes to take away all leftover cake and buffet food from the dessert and appetizers table. At the end of the night when they cleaned the tables they collected all the food into our own boxes (we bought a lot of take out boxes) and the next day we just ended up doing a brunch for our closest family and friends at the house with all the leftovers from the wedding
@@laurenhurst1795: same 😂. Been married for 5 years, had a blast and no regrets, and I just discovered this channel, I'm having so much fun watching these videos!
I totally disagree with the plus ones sitting seperate. How uncomfy to sit with a bunch of strangers!! Plus you've gotten ready with the bride/groom all day so you probably haven't seen your partner/kids all day long. It's not just 45 mins. Its probably been 8 hours you've been away by the time you're sitting down. Just my two cents though
@graceshafer7918 I get what you are saying bit I have honestly never been to a wedding where the SOs of the bridal party are seated with them, it is just not the culture of my country so many times if the SO doesn't know the couple or anyone really at the wedding they just wouldn't go 🤷🏾♀️ no love lost.
I've been in two bridal parties at the same venue funny enough. The first one the bridesmaids and groomsmen were spread out across different tables based on how the groups knew each other (I was seated with her sister and two brothers cause we've been best friends since 11years old). All of us were members of the wedding party and we all had our partners with us at the table. Same for the rest of the wedding party. The second wedding there was a head table and the partners were seated with us as well. For both of these weddings there were 8-10 members on BOTH sides (both couples had big families/lots of friends). It worked out. I would have been so sad if I couldn't sit next to my boyfriend cause like you said, I've been with the wedding party all day and I don't have the energy to dance all night; if we couldn't take our seats together that would have stunk plus he wouldn't have known any of the partners of the bridal party at either wedding and would have felt awkward.
Rule at weddings where I hail from: Dinner time is a time to take a seat for everybody, including the newly wed couple. No running around (unless you need to see the loo), no walking up to the bride and groom, nor any other distractions from eating. Everybody sits firmly on their behinds. Period!
I love cake 😂, thanks to your videos I made the cake cutter put the slices in to go containers and leave them all in the cake table so people can go get it and take it home or eat it there. Every guest loved that
Yes we will allow kids at the wedding, but also letting the parents know that drinking is involved and suggest getting a baby sitter or even someone to stay near the kids who are not drinking. We are planning a farewell moment around 8 for anyone who wants say their goodbyes, parents, grandparents ETC
it's not actually a no caffeine rule. it's a no coffee, maybe no tea rule. mormons absolutely love energy drinks and fizzy drinks like nothing else. that's why "dirty soda shops" are such a big thing in utah. the original rule is "no hot drinks, it excites the body and excitement is bad for you" then different churches can interpret and enforce it how they want.
@@k4nd1incyb3rsp4c3I still know a lot of Mormons who feel like caffeine should be pretty limited. I'm not very involved in that church any more myself but that's one thing that stuck with me--I avoid caffeine and limit it for my kids because I have concerns about how it impacts cardiovascular health and anxiety levels.
@@jillk4461 like I said, different churches can interpret it how they like, but the original rule is no hot drinks. mormons still love caffeinated drinks, (not all of them of course) they've simply replaced coffee with other sources. we literally just saw a video of a mormon girl planning her wedding, and she said "we're only serving me and my fiancé's facourite drinks; diet coke and red bull." I don't think kids should have any caffeine, but in moderation it isn't actually bad for you. studies have shown if it's not a replacement for sleep, and if you stop after lunchtime, and have only about 2 coffee cups worth, it actually has the opposite effect and increases your energy levels without negative side effects. that being said you're right that if someone has anxiety it can potentially make it worse.
In my country (Trinidad), very rarely the bridal party stands at the altar, at least in christian weddings, I don't know about Muslim or Indian weddings. The front row is usually where the bridemaids and groomsmen sit on their respective sides amd the parents of the bride and groom on their respective sides. Sometimes the maid of honour stands behind the bride to wipe tears, fix makeup etc but not all the time. Also the weddign cake is only the the couple and who ever friends and family they want to share with, not for all the guests so our cakes tend not to be as elaborate and huge as American wedding cakes. Traditionally the guests get a piece of black cake to go home with (it takes so good) or sometimes maybe a cupcake or something, in fact I have gone to quite a few weddings where you don't get cake and it is quite alright
Without the vows I'm just very confused and why I have to sit at the ceremony that was only 20 minutes to begin with. Why can't you just start with cocktail hour
Yes, I am very confused by having private vows. It’s fine to have a reception without inviting people to the ceremony, but it’s odd to invite people to a wedding ceremony if you don’t want to share your vows with them. it’s like inviting people to a movie that’s missing the part where everything comes together.
My wedding was about a month ago and I still enjoy your channels a lot 😍 I loved your tips and tricks and used as much of them as possible (wedding traditions in my home country are very different from the US) Thank you very much!❤
The last girl is a religious, traditional bride who is seems family-oriented and is getting married in a time where weddings are less-traditional and perhaps more couple-focused (as seen in the private vow example). She probably feels what she is doing is controversial....because mainstream appears to be going one way and she is staying traditional. As a conservative, religious bride I can see why she called it that--when everyone you know is getting married at a venue or outside and you choose a Church....it's noticeable difference.
I had a very untraditional wedding. I did have a "dress code" for our bridal/grooms party, but nobody else walked down the aisle. The people who walked down my aisle where: the officiant (yes), the groom, and the bride. I didn't even have my father walk me down the aisle... he sat in the first row with my mom and my sister (MOH equivalent). I also requested that nobody stand up when I walk down the aisle, because I'm short, and I'm so used to everybody standing and then me not being able to see anything. Nobody has to suffer through that on my day haha. I had a completely dry wedding. We served tea (sweetened and unsweetened), lemonade, buble, water infused with fruits, and a few soda options. Also no coffee or hot tea. We didn't have a dance party. I did two dances, one with spouse and one with father. But otherwise, we say goodbye to the DJ and just put music on the speakers from a built-in sound system. We brought in catering dinner from Buca di Beppo, and served it on disposable flatware (sorry planet). But it was super easy for us. AND..... the wedding was entirely vegetarian. My whole family is vegetarian, so I wanted one big event where none of us had to skip items in the buffet line. And *nobody* commented on the lack of meat options. All of that allowed the typical wedding costs to be way less expensive than a more "traditional" wedding, and I wouldn't have traded it for anything else.
That first one is EXACTLY what we are doing and for the same reasons lol! My fiancé couldn’t speak at the proposal and he’s very shy, so we’re doing a first look with private vows so we can have that time and space together. We actually have two hours together after that to hang out with our bridal party, to eat and have private speeches with them too ❤ as a guest I find speeches can drag and I want more time to party lol I don’t like forcing bridesmaids to wear something they aren’t comfortable in. I’ve been to too many weddings where the cut of the dress only suits some bodies and you can tell the bridesmaid is uncomfortable or it just genuinely looks bad. I feel like if you care for you bridesmaids, you’ll ENSURE they are happy and comfortable
it really gets on my nerves when people want to find a way to mental gymnastics themselves into being different and special for... being normal. it reeks of privilege when you experience the tiniest bit of pushback for your decisions, like maybe reading one article online saying "here's a new way to do things" and your first thought is "oh! oh! how oppressed I am! not everyone is doing things exactly like me any more!" I know if I had a wedding... she would faint knowing my "controversial" decisions.
I'm shocked that many people seem not to like wedding cake, but then, I'm German and we have a really big cake and bread culture here, so I guess our cakes may just be better? 😄 For me, the cake is one of the best parts of a wedding ... Most non-traditional wedding aspects are completely fine, but it gets difficult when it's about the guests: Guests probably won't enjoy drink/food choices or a dresscode that's _very_ limited and no one should skip basic accomodations.
We are doing kids allowed at the wedding - however without venue we were given the option to rent the upstairs and downstairs! So adult party is upstairs, and kid party is downstairs - with babysitters as well!
Years ago a really good friend did the traditional vows with her now husband in front of everyone. Then then stepped behind the preacher & microphones to exchange private vows. They told nobody this until it happened. I thought that was so sweet.
My husband and I didn't sit together at the reception. We each sat at different tables and rotated for salad/entree. After watching this video, I'm realizing ours was more controversial than most of these ideas 😂
In defense of the last girl, she seems to be going against the trend by having a traditional wedding XD. It may seem controversial to her if all the weddings she's currently attending are trendy. Even though it's actual traditional. I am going to be having a traditional wedding and a hack from being Polish and attending MANY weddings - order takeout boxes and keep them next to the desserts - lots of people will take the desserts and cakes home if they have the option to. They might be full from dinner and not up to cake at the exact moment it's being handed out, but would like to eat it a bit later. Also- don't have a giant cake, only what you think would reasonably be eaten based on size of wedding. If you want the grand multitier cake look, you can frost and decorate a styrofoam base and have only one tier for the cake cutting (and a sheet cake in the back that can help cut costs)
My husband and I had a backyard wedding. We were honestly going to do the courthouse thing I don’t have family and his family didn’t support us but the family I worked for (as a nanny) insisted on hosting a small ceremony/party at their house. I can’t recommend the small/low cost ceremony enough. Just have a little party with the people you love most and spend your money on your future together.
@@novalinnhe Sure! Multiple things were taken into account, but mostly cost. The venue we picked had SIGNIFICANT price differences between a weekday and weekend ceremony/reception, and doing a brunch-style wedding was more my style. We had a 'pause' in the afternoon and then regrouped together in the evening for a dessert party. Plus, since the venue/location is considered a destination, we thought having it on Monday would allow our guests to come in over the weekend and make a small trip over it. It was a small wedding with 32 guests who actually attended. We wanted it to be a day full of fun :)
I wonder if bride #2 knows that mormons/lds people have to wear temple garments that cover their shoulders just before, during, and for the rest of their lives after a temple marriage?
@@M3gnog and not all mormons even wear garments any more, and apparently their church is fine with it??? I guess these days it really depends what kind of church you get... so many rules are just forgotten now to some of them. and good, but like, can we really just say "oh that rule we strictly enforced for decades? god changed his mind on that. oopsie
As a Brazilian this is insane, actually the difference in our cultures screams in videos like these. You don't eat the cake?????? Wedding cake's the besssst I love it, and parties where a guy with a guitar or a live band play for 4 hours are completely normal, also also weddings here usually start later as well and end... Well it depends but it's usually laye
It's not that we DON'T eat the cake, it's that we don't eat nearly as much as provided so there are a lot of leftovers 😅idk what it is, the cakes being too large for the number of attendees or people limiting themselves to one slice when no such limit actually exists outside of their brains (as long as you leave time to ensure everyone has a chance to get their first slice before going back for seconds). It's weird. Never been to an event that ran out of desserts, though, and for some reason cakes seem to last the longest when there are multiple types available. Maybe people just focus on the others because the cake seems "too special" or something. 🤷♀
Sameee but the cake thing is different in my country tho. The wedding cake is for the couple and which ever friends and family the want to give and that is usually given when they return from their honeymoon. The guests traditionally get a small slice of black cake to go in a cute white box or sometimes they make have cupcakes or something like that
Lmao watching you lose it at the last one was breaking me! I have a theory that lots of my generation see so much more wedding content online than we have attended weddings and it really skews perspectives. A friend told me she was making the controversial choice by not changing dresses and I had to remind her that neither of us have ever been to a wedding in real life where that's happened, we've only seen it on socials
I got married last year in Poland and we split the ceremony and party in two different days - ceremony only with our parents and siblings and party with them and a bunch of friends the following day. We are from Spain, so we decided to celebrate in my hometown around the anniversary date this year. I tried to do most of the things myself but I'm so grateful to have my family helping, because the day was very windy and there was a prediction of rain, so I couldn't set up everything for cocktail hour in advance. Also, the seating chart were mini bottles of Polish liquor and we forgot 5-6 bottles of non-alcoholic ones 😅... Because of course, when you try to do everything yourself and you delegate these kinds of things last minute, these situations might happen. Because we didn't want to say our vows for the third time, we decided to record them and play them while we had a handfasting ceremony.
My friend had a wedding and organized with the caterer to provide take away boxes for people to pick up at the end on their way out. The cake was actually so tasty.
I'm getting married this weekend and YES, we invited kids. I think excluding them is less common for Catholics (like us) though -- big families is more than a stereotype 😂
We had a sunrise ceremony - not because we are morning people but because it was the south in the summer & the venue (which cost the low low price of free) was unairconditioned. We had serve yourself breakfast food rather than pre-preprepared plates. We were done by noon. It was great! We did have a cake (because I love cake) but it was very small. We boxed up the top tier to take with us. However, because it was still so early, when we got to our hotel we couldn't check in yet. The cake sat in the hot hot car for several hours & totally melted. When we got home the next day & realized it was basically ruined, we decided not to try & salvage it. We had a food fight in our kitchen with it instead. A much better memory than eating old, dry, freezer burned cake a year later.
Pro-tip: buy take-out containers! We had a buffet and none of our food was wasted because we bought biodegradable take-out container and paper bags for our guests! Our caterers packed all of our food up (including the cake) by the end of the night and our guests took it home with them!
One thing I worry about is that we are having a SUPER short wedding. We only have access to the venue for 6hrs & my fiancé wanted a morning wedding because he worried it would get too hot in our old church venue . . . anyway, I worry that we won't have time to do anything super special. We will have lunch, a first dance, but what else? Do you have recommendations for shorter weddings to make them super special?!? 🥰
We are eloping. Only immediate family at a civil ceremony on the coast followed by nice lunch. My dress will be dark green. Private vows and elopement photos. The plan is to do a separate reception for brunch at a later date that all the friends/extended family will be invited to. So much cheaper and no drama, no extra vendors, no alcohol, no dancing. We can go out dancing later if friends really want to party.
On the setup stories: My wedding gift to a close friend was assembling a dance floor between her ceremony and the festivities. (I was broke and single and happy to do it). It was homemade in her backyard. She showed me how it fit together a couple days before. The day of, I stayed behind after the ceremony while everyone headed next door for cocktails, switched into workout clothes, and got a hammer. She gave me assistants (My ex and their new person!) and the entire bridal party stayed for pictures and got to hear me in tightly controlled rage as ex/new person disregarded my instructions and had to rebuild the thing over and over. The things we do for friends!!!
I'm 'controversially' NOT having cocktail hour, dancing, cake, a bridal party, writing vows, a white dress, or my father walking me down the aisle. And no one gives me heat about any of it. So controversy is really about letting other people know or give opinions.
For plus 1's sitting with the bridal party- this is how we got around it. We had 3 long rectangular tables in the space and my new husband and I sat at the head of the middle table with our parents at the head of the other 2. Our bridal party and their guests then just sat next to us, filling in the middle table, and everyone was much more comfortable. I didn't want my bridal party or their guests to feel separated from each other and it was great.
I didn't know plus ones at the head table wasn't the norm?? I was a plus one for a groomsman at a wedding, and I hated that I didn't get to sit with him. It was his friend's wedding, so I didn't know anyone there. And they sat me and the other plus one at the kids' table, so it was twice as awkward. We felt uncomfortable drinking, and we had no one to talk to. It was really awful.
I find it really interesting how weddings in Brazil are so different! There are neve assigned seats unless for the immediate family of the bride and groom... usually waiter and waitress serve drinks like wine, beer, whisky, some couples have a drink station for beverages like mojitos and other drinks, and food is served in trays throughout the night, like finger foods, but fancy ones... there's usually a cake and desert table, and towards the middle dinner is served, which is good, because by this time people are a bit or a lot tipsy... and there's music all night...oh, and I forgot to mention, there are tables and seats, but here we usually don't have seats for everyone, because we want people standing, walking around and talking to keep the party "moving"
We did a mix of traditional and nontraditional things for our wedding. Nothing controversial, at least I never heard anything about our choices! Do what works for you and shows off your personality! The last wedding I was in this summer, I was the only married person in the bridal party (aside from the new Mr. and Mrs.), and the other bridesmaids' significant others couldn't make it. So my husband was the only partner there, and the bride so graciously included him in everything! The rehearsal dinner, the family/party trolley ride to and from the venue, and the head table. She totally didn't have to do any of that, but he's her friend too, and I knew nobody except the bride, and we'd traveled for all the festivities that weekend, so it was nice. And he was only one extra person in the end. It worked out!
I know you’ve said in the past you had your wedding near Halloween and well I’m plan a Christmas themed event…. Any tips for a Christmas wedding? Especially music?!
We are inviting kids to our wedding but I’ve already heard from cousins and friends that they don’t want to bring them! 😂 they want the night off to go wild
Just because they went to being in 99% of weddings down to 70% does not make them controversial. It just means they are less common, but those traditional things are still in the majority of weddings
My daughter asked to have us both walk her down the aisle. I told her no because I wanted to see her walk and I knew it would be special for her Dad. I would have done it if she pushed, but it was really nice and we both stood with her at the front.
We are saying no kids… There will be 2 kids at our wedding though (they are basically my future husband’s nephews). Hoping people don’t take offense to it when they do see the 2 kids we allowed 😅 But our wedding is on a lake (with lake access) so hoping our guests that had to leave their kids at home will understand. Also, allowing kids would add like 15 people to our guest list and we are trying to keep it smallish (inviting about 80 people)
What do you mean "people don't eat cake?"😂😂😂 In Zim, the issue is usually more that the cake doesn't go around enough or someone picked more than one piece not that it wouldn't be eaten. Same with the food. Nothing is wasted. One of my sisters had a huge wedding and there was so much food. Someone had the good mind to have takeout containers on hand and everyone, including venue employees, took food home. She had cake and cupcakes, there were none at the end of the night Also, the Redbull and diet coke only is wild. She can "BYOD" on her invites or tell them by email when they RSVP and being religious, they'd bring acceptable beverages.
I'm having a destination wedding next summer so we are having 2 children who are the young kids of people very close to us. It's a 4 days abroad wedding - I feel you can't ask people to come on holiday and not let them bring their small kids. If i was having the wedding at home kids would not be invited.
To answer your question about kids. I truly believe if your guests have to spend the night in a hotel to attend your wedding, you should make travel/attending your wedding as easy as possible for them. If you don't want kids at your wedding, fine, but people you love may not come. If inviting the kids to give parents (who parents more than they are your friends/family which is how it should be) the options of flexibility, so they can attend, I think you should do it.
I want all of my family at my wedding, especially kids. Personal choice. However, the practicalities of tiny humans needing a reset time, or more entertainment during the more boring times, or sleep schedules for the tiniest ones needing accommodations... would seem to necessitate a baby sitting room type situation. Hire a couple of teens or grandmas to supervise and there you go. Kids happy when they are attending the festivities and happy when they are in the kid zone. Not kids stuck only in the kid zone.
4:30 That was a long-winded description of an affordable, casual, backyard wedding. There's nothing wrong with that at all, so why is she trying to convince us that it's unique?
I’m walking down the aisle with my mom and son, or so I’ve been told. 😂 My dad died in 2015. I prefer both bride and groom walking down with both parents… I thought I’d heard that was the traditional Jewish professional? I’m not Jewish, but I love the symbolism.
As someone who is non-religious I once attended a full catholic service wedding with my in-laws and that was the most tedius thing I've ever attended. Two hours of kneeling and standing, kneeling and standing, waiting on every attendee who wanted the sacrement.... I wouldn't wish that on anyone 😅
As a non catholic, the catholic weddings that I have attended always specified if they were having the really long, long, or short ceremony. Some would encourage anyone who would prefer, to show up at x time to attend the wedding part and avoid the really long parts before.
Advice 1. I love it! I am thinking of doing something similar for my future wedding. Before anyone comes at me for being a fake crazy bridezilla. My boyfriend and I have talked openly about marriage and our future wedding. I don't want us to get engaged until we're at a point in our lives where we can actually plan a wedding. We want to get married but I make too much money and he would lose benefits but I don't make enough that I could actually offset the benefits he'd lose. That SAID. He's introverted and shy. I'm not even sure we'll do private vows before the wedding but I decided years ago we'll do a private first look. He'll feel like he has to perform if he had to write and speak out his own vows. We like a lot of the handfasting vows. So I'm thinking we'll take those, modify them to better fit what the marriage vows are to us. And we'll work with the officiant to make it smooth. So yes, private vows or an alternative to the christian vows at the ceremony I'm all on board for. I feel so seen that the first bride mentioned the private vows. :)
Especially the last girl's comment about having both her parents walk her down the aisle being controversial was so funny to me because as she mentions later, she's Catholic, and this is *super* traditional for Catholics. I would be more shocked if at a Catholic wedding I saw the bride walk down the aisle with only one parent if both were alive.
I dont know thats its controversial or unconventional at my age as an elder millenial lol we arent doing a wedding party and will be doing a first look plus family photos pre-ceremony so we can really enjoy cocktail hour with everyone. Also no assigned seating so people can choose where they sit and one less thing for us to think about lol
Ummm…. The weddings I’ve been to most of the cake was eaten and if there was any leftover they went home with the families. Always had some sort of wrap or tinfoil available. So weird to have it tossed
Here are some of my "controversial" decisions I've made as a June 2025 bride. No plus-ones, no children that aren't on the invitation, private elopement Celtic handfasting ceremony in Ireland for just the 2 of us and then coming home to the states for a elopement celebration/reception, I'm doing my own hair, makeup and nails, getting ready together the morning of the ceremony, no wedding party, no father-daughter dance, no garter toss or bouquet toss, we are spending cocktail hour with our guests visiting and taking photos with them, and a few others that I cant really think of at this moment lol. That being said, I don't think anything about what I am doing for my wedding is controversial at all, just uncommon.
Just make sure that the part where your legal marriage part takes place is actually legal. (I have heard that weddings of foreigners in Ireland are not legal. No shade. And that weddings in Hawaii take months to become legal. I did a tiny bit of wiki- research and it appeared to not be bs, but I am by no means an authority on the subject.)
If you aren't doing your vows "publicly" you are just having a reception. Also, good for the bride doing the entire mass. I had a ton of friends that would rave about short ceremonies, and I would just sit there quietly knowing what would be coming.
Where are yall living that so much cake gets wasted? I think every wedding I've been to has had the opisit problem. The cake goes so fast sometime the bride or groom goes back for a second piece and its long gone.
I don't know how much if anything is controversial in my friends wedding. I'm walking her down the aisle, there's going to be a staged performance that includes a sword fight before the ceremony, wedding shoot before the wedding day. Wardrobe change for the wedding party, full length to 3/4 length and tennis shoes, business casual for the men unless they want to wear the dress. DJ Spotify. There will be an alcoholic drink limit. Friends taking turns bartending and working security. Assigned red wine ninja. Assigned dishes to bring. Other than the first dance, and a dance routine with the wedding party the dance floor is open.
I'm planning to marry in the register office. In an actual office with bookshelves, a desk, and a filing cabinet. There will be chairs for each of us and our two witnesses. We'll have dinner with our witnesses afterward, and then we'll be spending a few days in a bridal suite in a castle. Neither of us has anywhere we really want to go, and a ceremony and party isn't what we want. I'm not wasting money to do all that work when I know neither of us will enjoy it. It would just be a very stressful, exhausting, expensive chore just to make family and friends happy. No thanks. It's about the most amazing man alive and me making a promise to each other and everything that comes after.
Private vows?!? Isn't the ceremony a public declaration that these two people are married? Marriage, by its nature, is a public act. (Shacking up and getting a joint bank account is a private act.) Publicly telling your community that you are now married is what the ceremony is about. A flowery speech about how much you love each other isn't necessary, but a public declaration that "I agree to be married to them" is needed. Marriage is not about the relationship between two people. It's not about loving each other, its telling the public that you are entering into the specific "marriage" relationship.
Why did I think the blonde girl wedding @6 was LDS? Lmao! Red Bull and no alcohol. And boy is she in for a treat when she has to put on the ugly dress, apron and weird veil just to get her marriage sealed for all eternity in the temple. Not to mention memorizing all the “secret” handshakes. Good luck to her!
From an academic/pagan perspective, pivate vows dont make any sense. Oaths and vows are SUPPOSED to be spoken publicly. Its the act of saying it in front of your community (and deities/deity if youre theistic like that) that binds you to your word
When you're having a commitment ceremony instead of a marriage ceremony, do the invites still go out for a wedding, or is there a different name for the whole event?
I'm planning a wedding and it's going to be with no children. My fiance and I don't have or want children in general, and theres nothing there that will entertain children.
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I tried the "no dress code" thing in an effort to make people comfortable and ended up doing the opposite. I had one person who came and felt so uncomfortable because others dressed up, while she dressed down. She would have preferred to be told what to wear. What I learned is that guidelines sometimes HELP people. Cuts down the second-guessing and feeling awkward.
Especially in America where people are not encouraged to dress up for weddings in fear of upstaging the bride
We held a party that was basically just a reception. People were told "casual to semi formal". Some people showed up in "nicer" clothes (think business casual, like a button down and jeans, or a summer dress), but most just dressed on the nicer end of casual. I had my dress but I was so busy setting up (ballin on a budget lol) that I ended up not even changing into it, so I wore jeans and an anime t shirt all day. I definitely second having a clear dress code, it's just all about where you draw the lines for people! We joked that anyone in a suit would be kicked out lol, people got the picture
People who have dry weddings should really consider a nice lemonade option
I’m doing a dry wedding. That’s a good idea especially because I’m having cultural food in the Bible Belt so I’ll add that
I'm doing a dry brunch wedding and we're doing tea, coffee, and one or two juice/lemonade based mocktails!
We had REAL homemade lemonade, sweet tea, and sparkling juices for our dry afternoon wedding
Lots of people complimented the lemonade especially
Ooohhhh a lemonade bar with flavorings and sparkling/still options would be so fun.
During my friend’s wedding, they recited “traditional” vows out loud then exchanged written personal vows and read them privately (still during the ceremony, standing up in front of everyone). There was music playing and it was still sweet being able to see them react to each other’s vows, so I personally didn’t feel strange or left out.
It seems like the last girl is trolling “controversial wedding decisions” more than she actually thinks hers are legitimately controversial 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
The second she said temple, the rest of her list made alot more sense..
yep & poor girl has no idea whats coming in that temple (or the fact that she can no longer where that shirt she is wearing)
@@HeiwaTori someone send her alyssa's videos, she's about to be traumatised...
@@k4nd1incyb3rsp4c3 Alyssa, Jordan & Mckay, NuanceHoe, Cults to consciousness, any of them would be super... informative... LMAO
Kinda surprised me. Surely that means she's got at least a few people on her list who don't drink caffeine (I know it's a debated topic but I've never been in a ward that didn't have people on the no side) so it surprises me she wouldn't be interested in giving them one non-water option.
@@jillk4461@jillk4461 its not a caffeine thing mormons are notorius soft drink drinkers, they inhale coke, dr pepper etc etc like oxygen, theres so many soda shops in Utah cos of it
Its just coffee & tea, which is still very weird but yeah mormons love their caffeine
Once upon a time I went to a friend’s wedding where SOs were not sat with their partner’s at the head table. I ended up being seated at a table with ALL of the bridesmaid’s boyfriends/husbands.
I’m a girl.
Who knew none of them.
I’ve never felt more like an afterthought
My fiancé was in a wedding where I was not at the head table.
I didn’t know anyone, and they had no seating chart. It was possibly the most uncomfortable experience of my life, and it definitely made me hyper aware of the guest experience for our wedding.
Regarding the 1st look: my son just got married to the love of his life. Throughout the whole wedding planning, the most desired thing they both wanted was for my son to see her walk down the isle. 2 minutes before the ceremony MOTB tells a groomsman that the bride changed her mind and wanted my son to turn until given a signal. He did (because that's what the bride wanted). On their way to turn in the marriage certificate, the bride asked him: why did you turn around and not watch me walking down the aisle?" Turns out, MOTB changed the ceremony because that's what SHE wanted, not what the bride wanted. They both cried about it because that moment has been robbed from them, forever. No do-overs, no take backs. Gone. Had they done a private 1st look, this could have been avoided.
WOOOW. I hope MOTB is out of all decision making now, and considered an "unreliable source."
@@kts8900 She is. "believe people the 1st time they show you who they are" kinda situation.
The no seating chart is a disaster. My niece and her husband did this and some non-family people claimed all the tables near dance floor and family of bride and groom (including grandparents) were left to scramble for seats. It was awkward - seated at a table with 4 or 5 chairs people were dragging one more over - just chaos and sad for grandparents who wanted to see the “action” but couldn’t from their back of the room seats. Horrible idea.
I was expecting buffalo wild wings mango habanero sauce spicy takes, these were more black pepper level
Lol it just seems like some people are trying TOO HARD to have “unconventional weddings.” The comment about “just show up in whatever you wore to work” just seems like she’s trying too hard to be unique. Also the “only Red Bull and Diet Coke” made me say “ew” aloud.
Her wedding sounded like a backyard potluck with a very limited menu.
never mind that, that actually is a fun and unique thing to do for a wedding. as a metalhead goth I'd really appreciate getting to wear whatever I want and feeling comfortable instead of stressing if anything I own is normal enough or if I can afford a more toned down formal dress. what about the girl saying "controversial opinion... I want to have a wedding cake" like come on! so dumb... we don't need to feel special for doing normal things. it's OK to be average! but yeah... diet coke and red bull? of course they're mormon...
She mentioned “Temple”, which means that she’s probably Mormon. No alcohol or caffeine is allowed at Mormon wedding receptions (which a lot of them also occur in a school gymnasium)
I absolutely love your videos! Just want to add on the cake topic - my wedding venue told us we could bring boxes to take away all leftover cake and buffet food from the dessert and appetizers table.
At the end of the night when they cleaned the tables they collected all the food into our own boxes (we bought a lot of take out boxes) and the next day we just ended up doing a brunch for our closest family and friends at the house with all the leftovers from the wedding
Thank you for posting tonight. Nothing like Wedding drama to distract from the election
I just subscribed. I’ve been married 14 years and eloped. 😂 I have no business being here, but I’ve never needed this more.
@@laurenhurst1795 I'm planning a wedding for November of 2025. Jamie has been the best breathe of fresh air for me
@@laurenhurst1795: same 😂. Been married for 5 years, had a blast and no regrets, and I just discovered this channel, I'm having so much fun watching these videos!
I totally disagree with the plus ones sitting seperate. How uncomfy to sit with a bunch of strangers!! Plus you've gotten ready with the bride/groom all day so you probably haven't seen your partner/kids all day long. It's not just 45 mins. Its probably been 8 hours you've been away by the time you're sitting down. Just my two cents though
@graceshafer7918 I get what you are saying bit I have honestly never been to a wedding where the SOs of the bridal party are seated with them, it is just not the culture of my country so many times if the SO doesn't know the couple or anyone really at the wedding they just wouldn't go 🤷🏾♀️ no love lost.
I've been in two bridal parties at the same venue funny enough. The first one the bridesmaids and groomsmen were spread out across different tables based on how the groups knew each other (I was seated with her sister and two brothers cause we've been best friends since 11years old). All of us were members of the wedding party and we all had our partners with us at the table. Same for the rest of the wedding party. The second wedding there was a head table and the partners were seated with us as well. For both of these weddings there were 8-10 members on BOTH sides (both couples had big families/lots of friends). It worked out. I would have been so sad if I couldn't sit next to my boyfriend cause like you said, I've been with the wedding party all day and I don't have the energy to dance all night; if we couldn't take our seats together that would have stunk plus he wouldn't have known any of the partners of the bridal party at either wedding and would have felt awkward.
Rule at weddings where I hail from: Dinner time is a time to take a seat for everybody, including the newly wed couple. No running around (unless you need to see the loo), no walking up to the bride and groom, nor any other distractions from eating. Everybody sits firmly on their behinds. Period!
I love cake 😂, thanks to your videos I made the cake cutter put the slices in to go containers and leave them all in the cake table so people can go get it and take it home or eat it there. Every guest loved that
Oh that’s so smart!
Convinced no one on the internet knows what words mean anymore 😂
I swear the last girl thinks it means "not trendy on tiktok"
Yes we will allow kids at the wedding, but also letting the parents know that drinking is involved and suggest getting a baby sitter or even someone to stay near the kids who are not drinking. We are planning a farewell moment around 8 for anyone who wants say their goodbyes, parents, grandparents ETC
Wait you HAVE to make a video of how you would’ve handled Cam and Mitch’s wedding in Modern family 😅❤
She said temple, so I’m thinking maybe she’s Mormon, so I think the Red Bull and Diet Coke might be a BIG DEAL given the no caffeine rule
it's not actually a no caffeine rule. it's a no coffee, maybe no tea rule. mormons absolutely love energy drinks and fizzy drinks like nothing else. that's why "dirty soda shops" are such a big thing in utah. the original rule is "no hot drinks, it excites the body and excitement is bad for you" then different churches can interpret and enforce it how they want.
@@k4nd1incyb3rsp4c3I still know a lot of Mormons who feel like caffeine should be pretty limited. I'm not very involved in that church any more myself but that's one thing that stuck with me--I avoid caffeine and limit it for my kids because I have concerns about how it impacts cardiovascular health and anxiety levels.
Oh okay, thanks for sharing
@@jillk4461 like I said, different churches can interpret it how they like, but the original rule is no hot drinks. mormons still love caffeinated drinks, (not all of them of course) they've simply replaced coffee with other sources. we literally just saw a video of a mormon girl planning her wedding, and she said "we're only serving me and my fiancé's facourite drinks; diet coke and red bull."
I don't think kids should have any caffeine, but in moderation it isn't actually bad for you. studies have shown if it's not a replacement for sleep, and if you stop after lunchtime, and have only about 2 coffee cups worth, it actually has the opposite effect and increases your energy levels without negative side effects. that being said you're right that if someone has anxiety it can potentially make it worse.
Jamie, you were talking so fast I had to check what speed I had this video on😂😂😂😂
In my country (Trinidad), very rarely the bridal party stands at the altar, at least in christian weddings, I don't know about Muslim or Indian weddings. The front row is usually where the bridemaids and groomsmen sit on their respective sides amd the parents of the bride and groom on their respective sides. Sometimes the maid of honour stands behind the bride to wipe tears, fix makeup etc but not all the time. Also the weddign cake is only the the couple and who ever friends and family they want to share with, not for all the guests so our cakes tend not to be as elaborate and huge as American wedding cakes. Traditionally the guests get a piece of black cake to go home with (it takes so good) or sometimes maybe a cupcake or something, in fact I have gone to quite a few weddings where you don't get cake and it is quite alright
That's so interesting, thank you for sharing! I love hearing how weddings differ around the world :)
The whole point of saying vows in front of others is that their presence holds the couple accountable to live up to them
Without the vows I'm just very confused and why I have to sit at the ceremony that was only 20 minutes to begin with. Why can't you just start with cocktail hour
i think the idea of "private vows" just really shows how the actual purpose of a wedding ceremony has been completely obscured in the modern day.
Yes, I am very confused by having private vows. It’s fine to have a reception without inviting people to the ceremony, but it’s odd to invite people to a wedding ceremony if you don’t want to share your vows with them. it’s like inviting people to a movie that’s missing the part where everything comes together.
I don't plan on ever get married but your videos are so entertaining, you're very funny and a very engaging speaker !
My wedding was about a month ago and I still enjoy your channels a lot 😍 I loved your tips and tricks and used as much of them as possible (wedding traditions in my home country are very different from the US)
Thank you very much!❤
What are your traditions?
The last girl is a religious, traditional bride who is seems family-oriented and is getting married in a time where weddings are less-traditional and perhaps more couple-focused (as seen in the private vow example). She probably feels what she is doing is controversial....because mainstream appears to be going one way and she is staying traditional. As a conservative, religious bride I can see why she called it that--when everyone you know is getting married at a venue or outside and you choose a Church....it's noticeable difference.
I had a very untraditional wedding.
I did have a "dress code" for our bridal/grooms party, but nobody else walked down the aisle. The people who walked down my aisle where: the officiant (yes), the groom, and the bride. I didn't even have my father walk me down the aisle... he sat in the first row with my mom and my sister (MOH equivalent). I also requested that nobody stand up when I walk down the aisle, because I'm short, and I'm so used to everybody standing and then me not being able to see anything. Nobody has to suffer through that on my day haha.
I had a completely dry wedding. We served tea (sweetened and unsweetened), lemonade, buble, water infused with fruits, and a few soda options. Also no coffee or hot tea.
We didn't have a dance party. I did two dances, one with spouse and one with father. But otherwise, we say goodbye to the DJ and just put music on the speakers from a built-in sound system.
We brought in catering dinner from Buca di Beppo, and served it on disposable flatware (sorry planet). But it was super easy for us. AND..... the wedding was entirely vegetarian. My whole family is vegetarian, so I wanted one big event where none of us had to skip items in the buffet line. And *nobody* commented on the lack of meat options.
All of that allowed the typical wedding costs to be way less expensive than a more "traditional" wedding, and I wouldn't have traded it for anything else.
Love your shirt!!! I’m planning a wedding and definitely having kids there. My nephew is one of my favorite people and will be our ring bearer :)
That first one is EXACTLY what we are doing and for the same reasons lol! My fiancé couldn’t speak at the proposal and he’s very shy, so we’re doing a first look with private vows so we can have that time and space together. We actually have two hours together after that to hang out with our bridal party, to eat and have private speeches with them too ❤ as a guest I find speeches can drag and I want more time to party lol
I don’t like forcing bridesmaids to wear something they aren’t comfortable in. I’ve been to too many weddings where the cut of the dress only suits some bodies and you can tell the bridesmaid is uncomfortable or it just genuinely looks bad. I feel like if you care for you bridesmaids, you’ll ENSURE they are happy and comfortable
The last girl seems like one of those conservative people who act like they're rulebreakers for following an older, outdated set of rules
Was looking for this comment. She gives 'thinks catholics/christians are culturally oppressed' energy.
it really gets on my nerves when people want to find a way to mental gymnastics themselves into being different and special for... being normal. it reeks of privilege when you experience the tiniest bit of pushback for your decisions, like maybe reading one article online saying "here's a new way to do things" and your first thought is "oh! oh! how oppressed I am! not everyone is doing things exactly like me any more!" I know if I had a wedding... she would faint knowing my "controversial" decisions.
I'm shocked that many people seem not to like wedding cake, but then, I'm German and we have a really big cake and bread culture here, so I guess our cakes may just be better? 😄 For me, the cake is one of the best parts of a wedding ...
Most non-traditional wedding aspects are completely fine, but it gets difficult when it's about the guests: Guests probably won't enjoy drink/food choices or a dresscode that's _very_ limited and no one should skip basic accomodations.
We are doing kids allowed at the wedding - however without venue we were given the option to rent the upstairs and downstairs! So adult party is upstairs, and kid party is downstairs - with babysitters as well!
Years ago a really good friend did the traditional vows with her now husband in front of everyone. Then then stepped behind the preacher & microphones to exchange private vows. They told nobody this until it happened. I thought that was so sweet.
My husband and I didn't sit together at the reception. We each sat at different tables and rotated for salad/entree. After watching this video, I'm realizing ours was more controversial than most of these ideas 😂
In defense of the last girl, she seems to be going against the trend by having a traditional wedding XD. It may seem controversial to her if all the weddings she's currently attending are trendy. Even though it's actual traditional. I am going to be having a traditional wedding and a hack from being Polish and attending MANY weddings - order takeout boxes and keep them next to the desserts - lots of people will take the desserts and cakes home if they have the option to. They might be full from dinner and not up to cake at the exact moment it's being handed out, but would like to eat it a bit later. Also- don't have a giant cake, only what you think would reasonably be eaten based on size of wedding. If you want the grand multitier cake look, you can frost and decorate a styrofoam base and have only one tier for the cake cutting (and a sheet cake in the back that can help cut costs)
My husband and I had a backyard wedding. We were honestly going to do the courthouse thing I don’t have family and his family didn’t support us but the family I worked for (as a nanny) insisted on hosting a small ceremony/party at their house.
I can’t recommend the small/low cost ceremony enough. Just have a little party with the people you love most and spend your money on your future together.
Iol these are cute versus my actual controversial wedding decision of an 8:30 am Monday wedding 😅
Out of curiosity, what made you choose that day/time? :)
@@novalinnhe Sure! Multiple things were taken into account, but mostly cost. The venue we picked had SIGNIFICANT price differences between a weekday and weekend ceremony/reception, and doing a brunch-style wedding was more my style. We had a 'pause' in the afternoon and then regrouped together in the evening for a dessert party. Plus, since the venue/location is considered a destination, we thought having it on Monday would allow our guests to come in over the weekend and make a small trip over it. It was a small wedding with 32 guests who actually attended. We wanted it to be a day full of fun :)
also- doing it on a weekday/morning allowed our budget to do a full day thing
@@angel67lver Ah that's lovely! I really hope you and your guests enjoyed it :)
Your laugh at the beginning of the third TikTok! 😂 it’s so infectious!
Love this video!
🤷🏼♀️ idk, I've seen people get pretty heated about "forcing" bridesmaids to wear a certain dress.
I wonder if bride #2 knows that mormons/lds people have to wear temple garments that cover their shoulders just before, during, and for the rest of their lives after a temple marriage?
I heard they are actually changing the sleeve cut to like a wide tank top
@@M3gnog and not all mormons even wear garments any more, and apparently their church is fine with it??? I guess these days it really depends what kind of church you get... so many rules are just forgotten now to some of them. and good, but like, can we really just say "oh that rule we strictly enforced for decades? god changed his mind on that. oopsie
As a Brazilian this is insane, actually the difference in our cultures screams in videos like these.
You don't eat the cake?????? Wedding cake's the besssst I love it, and parties where a guy with a guitar or a live band play for 4 hours are completely normal, also also weddings here usually start later as well and end... Well it depends but it's usually laye
It's not that we DON'T eat the cake, it's that we don't eat nearly as much as provided so there are a lot of leftovers 😅idk what it is, the cakes being too large for the number of attendees or people limiting themselves to one slice when no such limit actually exists outside of their brains (as long as you leave time to ensure everyone has a chance to get their first slice before going back for seconds). It's weird. Never been to an event that ran out of desserts, though, and for some reason cakes seem to last the longest when there are multiple types available. Maybe people just focus on the others because the cake seems "too special" or something. 🤷♀
Sameee but the cake thing is different in my country tho. The wedding cake is for the couple and which ever friends and family the want to give and that is usually given when they return from their honeymoon. The guests traditionally get a small slice of black cake to go in a cute white box or sometimes they make have cupcakes or something like that
@ariellebrowne oh that's so cute!!
@@blaireshoe8738 here we usually take them home kkkkkkk the closer to the family, the later you leave, the more food you take with ya
the 7 pm dinner it’s crazy, in brazil cocktails STARTS at 10pm
Lmao watching you lose it at the last one was breaking me! I have a theory that lots of my generation see so much more wedding content online than we have attended weddings and it really skews perspectives. A friend told me she was making the controversial choice by not changing dresses and I had to remind her that neither of us have ever been to a wedding in real life where that's happened, we've only seen it on socials
I'm not planning a wedding currently (still single), but I plan to have kids at my wedding
I got married last year in Poland and we split the ceremony and party in two different days - ceremony only with our parents and siblings and party with them and a bunch of friends the following day.
We are from Spain, so we decided to celebrate in my hometown around the anniversary date this year. I tried to do most of the things myself but I'm so grateful to have my family helping, because the day was very windy and there was a prediction of rain, so I couldn't set up everything for cocktail hour in advance. Also, the seating chart were mini bottles of Polish liquor and we forgot 5-6 bottles of non-alcoholic ones 😅... Because of course, when you try to do everything yourself and you delegate these kinds of things last minute, these situations might happen.
Because we didn't want to say our vows for the third time, we decided to record them and play them while we had a handfasting ceremony.
I was a server for a wedding at my restaurant and they hired a pizza van for the evening after the meal they'd had catered
My friend had a wedding and organized with the caterer to provide take away boxes for people to pick up at the end on their way out. The cake was actually so tasty.
I'm getting married this weekend and YES, we invited kids. I think excluding them is less common for Catholics (like us) though -- big families is more than a stereotype 😂
We had a sunrise ceremony - not because we are morning people but because it was the south in the summer & the venue (which cost the low low price of free) was unairconditioned. We had serve yourself breakfast food rather than pre-preprepared plates. We were done by noon. It was great!
We did have a cake (because I love cake) but it was very small. We boxed up the top tier to take with us. However, because it was still so early, when we got to our hotel we couldn't check in yet. The cake sat in the hot hot car for several hours & totally melted. When we got home the next day & realized it was basically ruined, we decided not to try & salvage it. We had a food fight in our kitchen with it instead. A much better memory than eating old, dry, freezer burned cake a year later.
Pro-tip: buy take-out containers! We had a buffet and none of our food was wasted because we bought biodegradable take-out container and paper bags for our guests! Our caterers packed all of our food up (including the cake) by the end of the night and our guests took it home with them!
19:55
That slump was exactly how I felt the entire time watching our qUiRkY nOn cOnVeNtiOnAl bride 🙃
One thing I worry about is that we are having a SUPER short wedding. We only have access to the venue for 6hrs & my fiancé wanted a morning wedding because he worried it would get too hot in our old church venue . . . anyway, I worry that we won't have time to do anything super special. We will have lunch, a first dance, but what else? Do you have recommendations for shorter weddings to make them super special?!? 🥰
We are eloping. Only immediate family at a civil ceremony on the coast followed by nice lunch. My dress will be dark green. Private vows and elopement photos. The plan is to do a separate reception for brunch at a later date that all the friends/extended family will be invited to. So much cheaper and no drama, no extra vendors, no alcohol, no dancing. We can go out dancing later if friends really want to party.
On the setup stories: My wedding gift to a close friend was assembling a dance floor between her ceremony and the festivities. (I was broke and single and happy to do it). It was homemade in her backyard. She showed me how it fit together a couple days before. The day of, I stayed behind after the ceremony while everyone headed next door for cocktails, switched into workout clothes, and got a hammer. She gave me assistants (My ex and their new person!) and the entire bridal party stayed for pictures and got to hear me in tightly controlled rage as ex/new person disregarded my instructions and had to rebuild the thing over and over. The things we do for friends!!!
I'm 'controversially' NOT having cocktail hour, dancing, cake, a bridal party, writing vows, a white dress, or my father walking me down the aisle. And no one gives me heat about any of it. So controversy is really about letting other people know or give opinions.
For plus 1's sitting with the bridal party- this is how we got around it. We had 3 long rectangular tables in the space and my new husband and I sat at the head of the middle table with our parents at the head of the other 2. Our bridal party and their guests then just sat next to us, filling in the middle table, and everyone was much more comfortable. I didn't want my bridal party or their guests to feel separated from each other and it was great.
I didn't know plus ones at the head table wasn't the norm?? I was a plus one for a groomsman at a wedding, and I hated that I didn't get to sit with him. It was his friend's wedding, so I didn't know anyone there. And they sat me and the other plus one at the kids' table, so it was twice as awkward. We felt uncomfortable drinking, and we had no one to talk to. It was really awful.
I LOVE cake and hate when there isn’t one.
I hate cake, but would be uncomfortable not to have a wedding cake.
I would hate to go to that second woman’s wedding. Diet Coke & Red Bull?? No DJ, just a guy with a guitar?? The reception sounds so boring
I find it really interesting how weddings in Brazil are so different! There are neve assigned seats unless for the immediate family of the bride and groom... usually waiter and waitress serve drinks like wine, beer, whisky, some couples have a drink station for beverages like mojitos and other drinks, and food is served in trays throughout the night, like finger foods, but fancy ones... there's usually a cake and desert table, and towards the middle dinner is served, which is good, because by this time people are a bit or a lot tipsy... and there's music all night...oh, and I forgot to mention, there are tables and seats, but here we usually don't have seats for everyone, because we want people standing, walking around and talking to keep the party "moving"
this is very similar to the few weddings I went to in Venezuela when I was little, food all night, dancing and music all night, so much fun :)
We did a mix of traditional and nontraditional things for our wedding. Nothing controversial, at least I never heard anything about our choices! Do what works for you and shows off your personality!
The last wedding I was in this summer, I was the only married person in the bridal party (aside from the new Mr. and Mrs.), and the other bridesmaids' significant others couldn't make it. So my husband was the only partner there, and the bride so graciously included him in everything! The rehearsal dinner, the family/party trolley ride to and from the venue, and the head table. She totally didn't have to do any of that, but he's her friend too, and I knew nobody except the bride, and we'd traveled for all the festivities that weekend, so it was nice. And he was only one extra person in the end. It worked out!
I know you’ve said in the past you had your wedding near Halloween and well I’m plan a Christmas themed event…. Any tips for a Christmas wedding? Especially music?!
For the last one bride who said her wedding was controversial, Im now thinking about doing a tiktok for my wedding.
We are inviting kids to our wedding but I’ve already heard from cousins and friends that they don’t want to bring them! 😂 they want the night off to go wild
No kids at my wedding! Just my fiancé’s 2 nephews, one of which will be our ring bearer!
Traditional things are becoming controversial though.
Just because they went to being in 99% of weddings down to 70% does not make them controversial. It just means they are less common, but those traditional things are still in the majority of weddings
My daughter asked to have us both walk her down the aisle. I told her no because I wanted to see her walk and I knew it would be special for her Dad. I would have done it if she pushed, but it was really nice and we both stood with her at the front.
The venue we booked typically starts at 6 pm. Maybe waiting until 7 to eat is too late ?? 😮 first time I hear of this
We are saying no kids… There will be 2 kids at our wedding though (they are basically my future husband’s nephews).
Hoping people don’t take offense to it when they do see the 2 kids we allowed 😅 But our wedding is on a lake (with lake access) so hoping our guests that had to leave their kids at home will understand.
Also, allowing kids would add like 15 people to our guest list and we are trying to keep it smallish (inviting about 80 people)
I just think it’s awkward for bridal party plus ones to have to sit alone at another table. Sometimes they don’t know anyone else there.
What do you mean "people don't eat cake?"😂😂😂 In Zim, the issue is usually more that the cake doesn't go around enough or someone picked more than one piece not that it wouldn't be eaten. Same with the food. Nothing is wasted. One of my sisters had a huge wedding and there was so much food. Someone had the good mind to have takeout containers on hand and everyone, including venue employees, took food home. She had cake and cupcakes, there were none at the end of the night
Also, the Redbull and diet coke only is wild. She can "BYOD" on her invites or tell them by email when they RSVP and being religious, they'd bring acceptable beverages.
I'm having a destination wedding next summer so we are having 2 children who are the young kids of people very close to us. It's a 4 days abroad wedding - I feel you can't ask people to come on holiday and not let them bring their small kids. If i was having the wedding at home kids would not be invited.
To answer your question about kids. I truly believe if your guests have to spend the night in a hotel to attend your wedding, you should make travel/attending your wedding as easy as possible for them. If you don't want kids at your wedding, fine, but people you love may not come. If inviting the kids to give parents (who parents more than they are your friends/family which is how it should be) the options of flexibility, so they can attend, I think you should do it.
I want all of my family at my wedding, especially kids. Personal choice. However, the practicalities of tiny humans needing a reset time, or more entertainment during the more boring times, or sleep schedules for the tiniest ones needing accommodations... would seem to necessitate a baby sitting room type situation. Hire a couple of teens or grandmas to supervise and there you go. Kids happy when they are attending the festivities and happy when they are in the kid zone. Not kids stuck only in the kid zone.
just got married, had no wedding party 🙏 one lass thing to worry about imo
Girl putting on the makeup really thought all that was controversial 🤣🤣🤣🤣 literally none of that was
4:30 That was a long-winded description of an affordable, casual, backyard wedding.
There's nothing wrong with that at all, so why is she trying to convince us that it's unique?
I’m walking down the aisle with my mom and son, or so I’ve been told. 😂 My dad died in 2015. I prefer both bride and groom walking down with both parents… I thought I’d heard that was the traditional Jewish professional? I’m not Jewish, but I love the symbolism.
As someone who is non-religious I once attended a full catholic service wedding with my in-laws and that was the most tedius thing I've ever attended. Two hours of kneeling and standing, kneeling and standing, waiting on every attendee who wanted the sacrement.... I wouldn't wish that on anyone 😅
As a non catholic, the catholic weddings that I have attended always specified if they were having the really long, long, or short ceremony. Some would encourage anyone who would prefer, to show up at x time to attend the wedding part and avoid the really long parts before.
Advice 1. I love it!
I am thinking of doing something similar for my future wedding.
Before anyone comes at me for being a fake crazy bridezilla.
My boyfriend and I have talked openly about marriage and our future wedding. I don't want us to get engaged until we're at a point in our lives where we can actually plan a wedding.
We want to get married but I make too much money and he would lose benefits but I don't make enough that I could actually offset the benefits he'd lose.
That SAID.
He's introverted and shy. I'm not even sure we'll do private vows before the wedding but I decided years ago we'll do a private first look.
He'll feel like he has to perform if he had to write and speak out his own vows.
We like a lot of the handfasting vows. So I'm thinking we'll take those, modify them to better fit what the marriage vows are to us.
And we'll work with the officiant to make it smooth.
So yes, private vows or an alternative to the christian vows at the ceremony I'm all on board for. I feel so seen that the first bride mentioned the private vows. :)
you know you can just say I DO. that's what I did.
Especially the last girl's comment about having both her parents walk her down the aisle being controversial was so funny to me because as she mentions later, she's Catholic, and this is *super* traditional for Catholics. I would be more shocked if at a Catholic wedding I saw the bride walk down the aisle with only one parent if both were alive.
I dont know thats its controversial or unconventional at my age as an elder millenial lol we arent doing a wedding party and will be doing a first look plus family photos pre-ceremony so we can really enjoy cocktail hour with everyone. Also no assigned seating so people can choose where they sit and one less thing for us to think about lol
Ummm…. The weddings I’ve been to most of the cake was eaten and if there was any leftover they went home with the families. Always had some sort of wrap or tinfoil available. So weird to have it tossed
Here are some of my "controversial" decisions I've made as a June 2025 bride. No plus-ones, no children that aren't on the invitation, private elopement Celtic handfasting ceremony in Ireland for just the 2 of us and then coming home to the states for a elopement celebration/reception, I'm doing my own hair, makeup and nails, getting ready together the morning of the ceremony, no wedding party, no father-daughter dance, no garter toss or bouquet toss, we are spending cocktail hour with our guests visiting and taking photos with them, and a few others that I cant really think of at this moment lol. That being said, I don't think anything about what I am doing for my wedding is controversial at all, just uncommon.
Just make sure that the part where your legal marriage part takes place is actually legal. (I have heard that weddings of foreigners in Ireland are not legal. No shade. And that weddings in Hawaii take months to become legal. I did a tiny bit of wiki- research and it appeared to not be bs, but I am by no means an authority on the subject.)
That last bride needs to look up what the word controversial means.
If you aren't doing your vows "publicly" you are just having a reception. Also, good for the bride doing the entire mass. I had a ton of friends that would rave about short ceremonies, and I would just sit there quietly knowing what would be coming.
Where are yall living that so much cake gets wasted? I think every wedding I've been to has had the opisit problem. The cake goes so fast sometime the bride or groom goes back for a second piece and its long gone.
I don't know how much if anything is controversial in my friends wedding. I'm walking her down the aisle, there's going to be a staged performance that includes a sword fight before the ceremony, wedding shoot before the wedding day. Wardrobe change for the wedding party, full length to 3/4 length and tennis shoes, business casual for the men unless they want to wear the dress. DJ Spotify. There will be an alcoholic drink limit. Friends taking turns bartending and working security. Assigned red wine ninja. Assigned dishes to bring. Other than the first dance, and a dance routine with the wedding party the dance floor is open.
I'm planning to marry in the register office. In an actual office with bookshelves, a desk, and a filing cabinet. There will be chairs for each of us and our two witnesses. We'll have dinner with our witnesses afterward, and then we'll be spending a few days in a bridal suite in a castle. Neither of us has anywhere we really want to go, and a ceremony and party isn't what we want. I'm not wasting money to do all that work when I know neither of us will enjoy it. It would just be a very stressful, exhausting, expensive chore just to make family and friends happy. No thanks. It's about the most amazing man alive and me making a promise to each other and everything that comes after.
No children, and the dress code is pajamas/lounge wear. We're going for comfy and cozy, not stressy
Fun!
Private vows?!? Isn't the ceremony a public declaration that these two people are married? Marriage, by its nature, is a public act. (Shacking up and getting a joint bank account is a private act.) Publicly telling your community that you are now married is what the ceremony is about. A flowery speech about how much you love each other isn't necessary, but a public declaration that "I agree to be married to them" is needed.
Marriage is not about the relationship between two people. It's not about loving each other, its telling the public that you are entering into the specific "marriage" relationship.
Why did I think the blonde girl wedding @6 was LDS? Lmao! Red Bull and no alcohol. And boy is she in for a treat when she has to put on the ugly dress, apron and weird veil just to get her marriage sealed for all eternity in the temple. Not to mention memorizing all the “secret” handshakes. Good luck to her!
From an academic/pagan perspective, pivate vows dont make any sense. Oaths and vows are SUPPOSED to be spoken publicly. Its the act of saying it in front of your community (and deities/deity if youre theistic like that) that binds you to your word
When you're having a commitment ceremony instead of a marriage ceremony, do the invites still go out for a wedding, or is there a different name for the whole event?
Well if there's no marriage then it wouldn't be a wedding, so I think calling it something like a commitment ceremony, celebration, etc. is fine.
We all have that one aunt on our dad’s side..
It is always dads since isn’t it?!?! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
I honestly wouldn't even say most of these takes are not popular more like not trendy.
Both your parents walking you down the aisle is TOTALLY traditional in Jewish weddings ❤
I'm planning a wedding and it's going to be with no children. My fiance and I don't have or want children in general, and theres nothing there that will entertain children.
We are having family only children lol
The first girls wedding just doesn't seem like a wedding at all. I wouldn't go for the drink choices alone.