Mufti Ismail Menk - Issues in Marriage
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- Опубликовано: 1 сен 2016
- Jumuah Lecture by Sandtom Islamic Association, 12 Aug 16
Official Mufti Menk Audio Lecture Resources:
1. Website - goo.gl/0jJCZP
2. Android App: goo.gl/wsLk1l
3. iTunes Audio Podcast: goo.gl/QFnd6T
I got married one year ago and Im having most of the problems you addressed to in this sermon. Dead set on breaking my marriage, I prayed isha asked Allah swt for hidayah and sat down to watch Netflix when a voice in my head said to open youtube. Allhamdullilah I feel so much better now, hopeful. May Allah forgive and help us!
Oh Lord grant me a husband with sensitivity, empathy, kindness, emotional intelligence, self-respect and a patience with children and a willingness to understand woman as a human being first.
Ameen🙏🏾🙏🏾
Aamiin
Ameen, May Allah grant me this too
I m blessed with a husband like that but when it is about his mother, he is just a son . According to him his mother is an angel , she can never be wrong , if I say even a single word about her , he starts shouting at me. So we hv thse typ of so called good husbands in our society. We wives become an outsider within a second .
@@PeachBlossom475 this is not advantageous for you. You must put yourself first in his life, concentrate on your relationship with him and leave his mother out of it. The mother/ son relationship does not sound free of enormous expectations and emotional dependency and I guess it is a cultural thing not least because I feel that women are generally over idealized and sadly not authentically loved. Mothers who are emotionally neglected by their husbands will invest all their love in their children, especially the sons and there will be the possibility of possessiveness and jealousy towards others later on. Break that pattern now. Be first in his life with understanding, patience and intuition. Remember, if you are healthy and self-confident and God/Allah protects you, you will outlive the mother, naturally.
Your words have got more value than diamond and gold merge together. Yah Robb grant our mufti long life and sound health. Ameen
Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous
[25:74] Ameen Ya Raab
ameen ya Rabb al alameen
Zia Shinwary Ameen
SubhanAllah.... Ameen
I am the righteous. I trust science before religion. Do I win a prize?
Ameen
Please pray allah makes my husband sensible of what he is doing and put care and love for me in his heart
Ameen
My sister what do you pray Allah helps you with?
@@LawrenceEBell-xp7uu praying salah extra dua and tahajud prayers helps a person alot
Mufti menk...may Allah bless you and grant you janntul firdous ameen. You have touched upon a lot of issues that I have been enduring...I am still having issues in my marriage. Please can you make dua for me and my spouse and our children. It will be 10 years next year I hope we can sort our problems before then 😢
May Allah bless young and forgive
This moron can't help you! He doesn't even know what time of day it is!
Ameen
Are you ok now?
May Allah bless you..and open more doors of understanding InshaAllah..May you live long to spread the good message
I’m desperate for peace. But I can’t find it with him .
May Allah makes it easy for you...
Same here
Not a daughter in law is evil .it is the mother in laws who twist and make things tough ..even if it is 10 years if the head of the family (husband )is behind his mother then the sufferers are the wife and the kids ......this has come to an end .
Exactly and by the time the mother in law passes away and you reach your 20th anniversary you already lose that love for your husband because he didnt support you instead put you through tough times because of his mother
Ma Shaa Allah Tabaraqallah
We love you for the sake of Allah Mufti Ismael Menk
Very interesting issues may God reward you.
For what??????????????
Masha Allah blessings to you my brother a beautiful speech IV been married for 9 years my husband don't stand up to his family members he keeps me on the out side of the family he didn't even tell his family we had children because his family members always wants there own way money money money IV never see a family in-laws to need do much mono yes help but he don't even bring us to meat his family we don't even get offered a drink of water in that house my husband built for his hole family members back in Bangladesh how sad is that I tell my husband I'm as good as anyone we are all the same we come into the world the same and we all die my Allah bless all are brothers and sisters ❣️💕🥰🤩😍🌹🌷🧕
No matter ur dislike his Ward's, I have to like it coz his message sounds good
Walahi thank you Mufti Menk you always feed my brain with truth and goodness. May Allah SWT bless you, have mercy on you and your family 🙏🏽🙏🏽
Aameen same here. God bless us all.
Ameen Ya Rabbul Alameen ❤️
Masha. Allaha. Jazakalahu Kayer Ustazuna..
Can you please talk about how to live in an unhappy marriage? Other than being patience, that’s a given, no choice. But if for one reason or another there is no choice but to stay in the unhappy marriage, how to maintain it in an orderly fashion. And how to maintain it if I have bipolar and spouse does not agree with it, or doesn’t care.(I’m sure many out there have their own disabilities etc).
It’s a given that husband and wife don’t get along, don’t understand each other no matter how hard they try, but have yo stay married. Yes. Patience is a given. But I’m only human and have moments of doubt and great disappointment
I believe communication is key. People can't read minds. Communicate your feelings with each other with grace, honesty and respect. Don't forget to ask Allah for help so that your spouse will understand your situation. Remember Allah is the holder of people's hearts.
@@farahpocoyo5027 My husband didnt even want to talk about our problems, he is ignoring me after arguing he can sleep while im crying in corner of our room,, I cant feel the symphaty frm him,,Unhappy but I keep on my sabr 4 the sake of our 6 kids
@@askme6288 I understand your situation. This is a test from Allah swt. Remember nothing is ours, not our husbands, not our kids, not even ourselves! Everything is Allah's. We come from Allah and we will go back to Allah.. therefore, do something with the intention to please Allah, not anybody else! You will find life easier because no one can disappoint you when your hope is only to Allah. Human WILL disappoint you but Allah will NEVER disappoint you granted if you have FULL belief in the Almighty. May Allah reward you for keeping your patience and doing the best for you, your husband and your kids. Remember do it for the sake of Allah and you will never be disappointed. Be ikhlas and have sabr, reward of Allah is coming to you!
I love you mufi mink God bless you brother always
May Allah bless u with long life and good health mufti sab..i have learnt a lot from you and i constantly listening u..dua for me...
I could listen to him talk all day long.
may god bless u mufti menk
why?
Such a good points ! Mashallah so great to listen to you Mufti Menk
alahhoh suckbar blahblah. We need more scientists, not religious fanatics!
9:55 yes, and that is very painfull if scholars or other religious figures who you go to for assistance to support your rights they then not assist you defending you but they just say have sabr or ihklas and forget about everything while there is clearly oppression and injustice happening. Those people speak from the minbar and know the ins and outs of Islam but have not integrated the basic teachings of this just religion in their verdicts.
Amazing advice.
Sir Muft Menk and your long Sermon
Inshaalah
Fátima Sardar u want a short version
Da issues which r discussed r so correct....even I m suffering wid this same...plz pray that issues r solved
may allah make it easy dear. But if its against sunnah, youcan always fight for your right.
I think I'll pray you learn to write English correctly!
@@vervoid73 may I knw whts wrong in my language
@@cheerchannel2015 'Da" issues, 'plz' pray, suffering 'wid'! Get my point.
I grew up, and still is Christian BUT i respect everything you said..
Our Christian parents are too scared to talk about it
Jazakallahu Kairan ❤
God bless you more love from USA
This is so true my life is like this very well said
May Allah subhanahu watallah continue to strengthen our faith and never let us out to other gods even for a single moment. The as Muslim we will continue in saying alhamdulillahi.
and I will continue saying 'screw islam and all it's pre-historic values'. 2019. We have moved on.
Mufti you talk the incredible amazing
salam alaikum shaikh mufti menk all my prayers is to see u here in Ghana one day because i have been dreaming about you everytime in my sleep may almighty ALLAH give us long life
Jazaak ALLAHU Khair Aljazaa
Makes no sense. Have a ral opinion!
Very good, but because you decide to compromise doesnt mean you need to stay in that lowly situation forever. You have to provide food to cook, why is she telling the girl when to cook?
Amin
what if things are goin wrng but i don't know the reason ..
Motivational speech regarding marriage, liked to listen
My husband don t wont leave together and leave like a single with a other friend who rent him a room.. Bevor we leave together for 2 years, but we argue all the time . He come see me 2 times in a week, but i dont feel well in this situation. This is since 3 years now. My patience is over and i dont feel in a real marriage. I dont have a solution and he dont wont talk about.
a wife is thrown away along with kids when it comes to his mother .y does this men need a marriage .they all need is mother mother .daughter in laws are not dustbin to throw all the blame .even if his mother gets a headache v are the blamers.
My hsbnd said i will only eat wht his mum says ... I lost my child at 3months preg. i was always hungry
Why my husband make me cry always? Even in a little things that I'm trying to open talked with him. He always get mad at me. ALLAH KNOWS I don't have any intention to get him angry
Yes l am seem what you seeing, my husband all the time make me cry, is very angry with me, never talking about anything comunication no is between as , l am whit him ,but l am alone
@@danasundus3286 you know my husband problem. He is close minded when it come to my opinion. Only he's opinion can be followed. Our doughther notice what his dad reaction for my opinion. I felt alone. But sometimes my husband do a good things for our family. It's just my opinion he's always reject
@@oul6you870 my husband is doing evrithing for him self, is all the time whit his friend and family back home, never meak my happy, l did to many things to help him , l am the only ho is doing evrithing for house, is not thinking about anything, and when is coming home is siting in the phone, no communication between as ..l am soo tired for this marriage
@@danasundus3286you're last reply. Was reminded me of our past. The feeling of alone and that moment I hide my problem to my family and friends Because I don't want him to be judge. But when time I can't take how he treated me.
I make a decision to separate with him. But he didn't allow me to go. So I did. was. Pray and talk to almighty GOD.
But sometimes still he did a thing that makes me cry.
@@oul6you870 l feel soo sick for this marriage...it's really hard to understand, only one thing is in my mind, it's not for me to make a family, my husband does not want to let me go but not happy does not make me, the only decision I leave to you yes, I divorce..Allah knows what is good and best, and how is quality
I wish if i could contact mufti menk because I have alot of questions
My husband doesn't share anything with me. He hidden almost everything from me, example he sends money to his mother and all other family, but he hasn't spent anything for me!!! He calls me ugly woman with ugly cloths, but he spent money in hidden for his mother. Now over 3 years, I think I am done!!
He will end up loosing everything..he doesn t treat you well,he will not be bless,he will end up with nothing and with big regrets.
He should marry his mother. These guys are jokes. They don't deserve a wife.
😢
masha Allah 👍👌👌👌
It's spks of Gratefulness
Menk brother..... why do u find it so hard to talk about parents looking after kids with serve disability.
Assalamu Alaikum, Brother,I wish all men like You , follow the rules of Allah, Your wife is so very lucky wife MashaAllah tabarakAllah.But me I suffer 24,yrs till now..I keep my families joined together.Because im afraid Allah.please pray for me ... Allah know who is me...asking Pray to You.
I'm having problem with my wife please pray for us In Shaa Allah
Ameeen
for what? For allah supporting a paedophile prophet?
Oh Allah bless my marriage and family
I don’t want to be with my husband but he says he will burn my house down if I leave him . With my disability kid amd daughter in it . He spits on my face and has no respect for me . Even though I gave him everything money to start his business. Still when it didn’t work sold my jewelry which I never had a problem doing. Just wanted respect.
So sorry sis
There's always help if you ask for it , friends family anyone, you need to get out of that abusive relationship, threats like that shouldn't be taken lightly , don't wait for things to happen and think oh he hasn't actually done anything they're just words ...but inshallah seek help and focus solely on your children and keeping them safe
Look for women’s shelter
Leave the marriage, you deserve better
Asalamwalakum Akhi, you need to make a video on how a man should be towards a Narcissistic mother in law who makes her own daughter cry talks wrong to her son in law and thinks she is the creator of the world as she prays 5times a day, what do we do still just carry on like the is the best woman or treat her the way she treats us please make a video of you see this Mufti me know or anyone else comment !!!! 🙌🏽
Ya ALLAH make my husband sensible, humble, understanding and affectionate towards me and our children...Ameen
Facts:
No son is bad
No daughter in law is bad eithet
Wife has bad feelings in her. I’m scared to just talk to her. I don’t know what will happen next but anything happens is Allah swt plan and I am grateful
assalamualaikum sumi ramadon
Assalamalikum to all beloved sisters n brothers please make dua for me they do gossip behide my back even his small 11 year brother my husband beat me very baad
I have one issue. I have sister in law who is not my fiance's real sister but rather a cousin. she and her mon are creating problems for me. So my fiance is close to them more than he isclose to his parents. It is really sad to see that he has given them key to dominate and tell him what to do. This cousin of him always comes to me and tells me how much she is doing for him. And she says as if she is doing a huge favor on me and him. I dont mind if my fiance considers her as an elder sister but when she comes and drools all over how much power she has to do certain stuff it makes me feel so devalued. She always shows as if she is doing some favor on us. She is a working lady but when she talks to me she is so arrogant. In reality alhamdullilah I dont need anyone's favor cz Allah is enough for me and I am quite educated myself. I have done my masters from Uk and inshaAllah i will be on job. My fiance is very educated too. He is in IT. But her arrogant personality is killing me and i feel even worse that my fiance cannot take control of himself. His silence is starting to kill me from inside...I am beginning to feel embarrassed now.
I dont know why I am saying all of this here in the comment section but maybe I feel like someone will know the right guidance to it. cz I know Allah sends messages through people
@@hasibabdullah3463 JazakaAllah khair brother. I am glad someone answered. Yes you are right she is a na mahram. The problem with this family is that they have too much ego issues. His cousin is controlling as i said but at the same time my husband himself he doent seem to take life so seriously. I mean he does work and is educated but he lives in zimbabwe, a country which is quite backward. My family and me have tried to tell them nicely or at least ask them whether he is looking to move out of the country and look for a better job. But they seem to make excuses and it really tires me sometimes. He doesnt seem to even make an effort to think of a better job because men are financial providers. It scares me cz i am scared that how will we bring up our children in the future if this stays like that. I know you will say that why we chose them in the first place. By the grace of Allah this family is good and we did so many istikharas, but nowhere we got obstacles. I always reach out to Allah when am in doubt. I am sure Allah swt has chosen them for me but these people are creating so many doubts and disappointments in us. Before i got engaged they told us that the guy is progressive meaning he wants to move out of zimbabwe but now they are changing their statements. They made a beautiful relationship so complicated.
My god,you should have run away long time before,now you r maybe married to him..problematic in laws+weak and influenciable fiance =run away,otherwise you will suffer all The rest of your life with him,also if you leave him one day,they will make you suffer throught your children
Plz answer me,what if person have 2wifes and kids with both wife's .but he never spend a singal day with 2nd wife and kids.and only stay with 1st wife and children's and his mother.then what is the punishment for that husband, and what is the right of 2nd wife and kids?
A woman deserves the full attention of a husband. If he is unable to do this because he is obviously favouring his second wife, then you are losing out. Time to divorce him, leave Islam and find monogamy in another partnership. You deserve it. Be happy and fulfilled.
Subhanallah
i like your talks too much,may ALLAH gives u loooong life,and wrant you adjanat firdawsi
Excellent
Ya Robbi, grant me a pious and faithful wife & fill her with character, beauty, respect & eeman. Amin!!!
sir I want to get married with an Islamic girl but there is no any Islamic girl in my sight with whom to get married. sir help in this matter
Javaid Najar there are many, you see , tell your parents to see .
just get married how you want. Islam should have ZERO to do with it! Your choice!
Pray to Allah.
Go find a girl who loves you, period. Doesn’t matter if she is Islamic, Christian or Jewish, or if she is from Mars. Just find the love of another human being. Its simple, your God will guide you.
Which are the good months for getting married?
When ever it's warm and not raining you idiot! What else would make a difference?
marry when the trees are beginning to bloom, and when you have money in the bank, this applies to the women, of course.
Mashallah..
I have a problem with dust..
..imagine marriage ..
Salam my favorite sheikh mufti menk 😍😍😍😍😍
Like earlier. I asked him why he 100 percent trust our sales lady rather than me. He said. Aou gay sales man are the 1 who in charge to our store. So if too many can involve the cashier it might be chaotic.our sales man can pretend inocsent if he got some money to the cashier box. But my pint is I'm his wives only cashier I want to take but still he insist to avoid me to our business it hurt me that way.
you make zero sense. Try again in English.
The secret is jst get to know what is the strategy in her in gaining his trust u have to be smart about it
Mashallah
mansha Allah
Mufti Menk, is there any of your talks in bangla? I could really give this to someone, loke my husband who is from Bangladesh. Has bangladesh mindset. I need help. Please mufti if it possible to have this talk in different language I would be very grateful. Alhamdulillah
Jazaakallah khairan!
Ya Allah I went to marry
Sheik pray for me.
Vote Mufti Menk for Caliphate Leader :)
How to connect with You. I have some questions is there any way i could connect with You.
Me too
Me as well , if u have found out how to contact , plz let me know
Long distance marriage relationship????
Haram or halal???
Dhamen Amir halal
Neither. Just un-realistic.
If shaitan can infect one's heart.. how do I protect my wife.
You can only do so much
mufti sir,next time please give a talk bt husbands rights towards his wife in Islam tq.
Abdul Shah 😂😂😂😂
@@farzeb1198 😝😝😝😝
😂
I did that already and I regret
Subhaan ALLAH
please make me dua i request u all brothers n sisters i also don't have children 😭i have no family i do love marriage thats why my father brother don't even talk na see to me pl,z make u pl,zdua
🙂 MashAllah
gta in the beginning
والصلاة والسلام على سيدنا ونبينا محمد (صلى الله عليه وسلم ) وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين وسلم تسليما كثيرا
shallam
subhanalla
Assalamoalaikom..InsaAllah..Allah kullihal...Ameen..
Allahu Akbar
masha Allah
Smash Allah! (that's better)
THANK YOU ALLAH ,you BLESS me ,THANK you ALLAH you guide me,THANK you ALLAH you helps me,THANK you ALLAH ,provides,protect me ,Allah support me all needs things ,THANK you ALLAH you give me good WAY,Allah THANK YOU you BLESS me all ,everyone,everythings,,In the name of Allah ,Allah BLESS ALL ,on this world
Mustafa jan call me
Allah supported a war-monger and paedophile prophet. Are you going to thank him for that too?
Or divorce . Sad u can’t explain probably from Quran. And brother menk that’s what is happening most everyday ...
Sis what happen? Are u fine?
لا حول ولا قوة الا بالله العلي العظيم
can not be translated, write in a few different languages.
Men like that they should have great career, great place outside, administration, and everything. They went after certain time they should be sitting and earning.
And when it comes to give privacy to wife, give then individual place to stay they just object a lot, my parents where they would stay i want them to stay alltogether only not even a separate kitchen.
Everything should br combine.
But evene females are looking to be owner of their home and time and decision at extend which is allowed.
If u will ask for accomodation to husband which is basic right, they will just put hundreds of objection in the same, Why.
Staying with husn is your manner but when some1 will be administrative over u without any right, isnt it wrong?
Ya, totally wrong
Asslam O Alaikum
I am suffering from this because I’m a second wife and not their blood relative and I’m from another nationality . I’ve been married to my husband for more than a year , I did my best to become a loving wife to my husband, respected his parents even if they still don’t accept the fact that their son married me, I love the children of my husband and I can tell by their innocence that they love me too as second mother but things are changing . Now their are making too much pressure on my husband in divorcing me because it will ruin the family solidarity between his father and the first wife’s father who are brothers. Their using it in pressurising my husband and it’s creating a big problem to our marriage , they also said that the brother in law of my husband will divorce my husbands sister if he will not give a divorce to me. It hurts a lot not because they can’t accept me but because they don’t accept what Allah has given to us through the virtue of Nikkah. Tradition and culture is more important to them now not the teaching of Islam and I feel so oppress. May Allah guide them and made them realise that I’m also a daughter of someone’s parent and I’m also a human who get hurt with all the things they’ve been doing
May allah swt make it easy for you sister. My duas are with you
Ziela Marie my dear did you know that your husband had a wife and children ?? and still you agreed to marry him and tried to break some ones house, was it a love marriage??
Ziela Marie Sister Allah makes you easy everything and hold your head up, and love yourself and put first yourself and your life please if you lose yourself, you’ll lose everything.
Meethi B it was already broken way before I met my husband. They been married for 8 years now but they don’t talk like a normal couple, he tried so many time to fix it even ask both mother and mother in law to talk to her and be a normal wife but she never change. Husband shouldn’t be neglected, husband should be respected too , husband need someone to be there with even with just someone or conventional talk . I know you might not believe anything that I said but it doesn’t matter because Allah knows what happened to them . She was luckily because he is responsible, kind hearted man otherwise even if they had children he could’ve gone way before I met him. He suffered a lot because of that marriage and yet he stayed because of parents and the children. So , yes, I agreed to marry him knowing he is married but what they have is marriage on paper only not a couple not a husband and wife per se if you know what I mean and yes, what we have is love marriage
Ziela Marie ha ha ha , this is your husband side of story this is the only story which men say . why has he kept his first wife hanging, when the relationship was over , when he has moved on, so let her move on also . Give her all her rights and leave her respectfully, as you say he is nice man, then he shud do this . This is Allah order also not to keep your wife hanging.
We found out if your don’t have your wife with no matter how difficult situations stay fight for it otherwise you have to have handled a lot shameful dirty criticize or rush married something unknown or rushed get girls friend because some they get a chance they come to first place whatever they can do tried to get their papers may Almighty Allah protect us from any evil beings no one perfect some they never dreamed something displeasing Almighty Allah
We found out some they refused to work or studying but if we come to the reality we can do something much better than what they think everyone liked good women & great lifestyles, but this is something normal things everyone you if Allah givens you everything from younger ages it is some blessings from Almighty Allah great but never ever to judgment anyone without good reason thank you everyone for sharing knowledge that everyone beneficial
U can't say our mothers to like that Mr mufti nawozubillah to mother how u saying that?
THE TRUTH WORLD Oh. Allah. This is a cursed. please forgive us. with faithful guidance
Subhanallah