Adults should be able to end things on good terms and if thats the case, it wouldn't be as big of a deal, right? If you end explosively or one of you is still attached, then it's not possible because of drama
Meg, you're usually so sensible I was quite surprised you feel so strongly against dating Exes. Personally, I think you should talk about it prior to your friend and it all depends on their decision. Love that you're putting up more videos latey, and that they're all done in one take. Impressive.
woo woo so many vids this week! :D time-lapse gundam would be fun! you can just use imovie to speed up footage, so you can record it on your phone and then transfer it over pretty easily! :3 i agree with you and shish! i think if the relationship was serious, it's a no-no, but if it was casual, i think it shouldn't be a problem! :3 definitely weird, and there's a good chance they met your friend through you!
Thank you for agreeing with me Meg. My best friend (now ex best friend) started dating my ex a month after we broke up and they didn't understand why I was hurt about it. She said because I said I was over him she thought it was okay. So again, thank you for understanding my point of view.
So, if you and your boyfriend broke up and your friend came to you and said "I wanna date him," you'd be alright with it? I guess I think even if you're no longer attracted to a person, it's still so weird to have them around, especially dating your friend. Do you listen to your friend talking about their sex life, problems, etc.? Isn't that weird?
I totally agree with you and Trisha, it would be weird and awkward. Just imagine hanging out with your friend, talking about boys and whatnot, when she starts going on about her boyfriend, your ex. There is no way that will not be awkward.
I think it's more about sacrificing something because you care about your friend's feelings. I agree with Meg; You might not know how your friend would feel about you seeing someone they've been intimately involved with before. And I'd choose to give up something for myself than hurt a friend.
My buddy and my ex started dating and I had been in a relationship with her for 2 years beforehand. I thought it was a little weird but when it became obvious to him that things were there between them he took it upon himself to talk to me, buy me a beer and sit down to see how I felt about it. I have enormous respect for anyone who has the balls to do that and I'm genuinely happy for both of them. I think it depends on how it was handled.
I agree with you meg. My friends ex had a crush on me a while back and I felt so bad because of that. Not that I returned his feelings or anything, but I felt like it was my fault that they broke up. Anyway today they have both found their significant other and so have I.
You make a good point, and like i said, i do think it would be weird. But if you're over the breakup, i don't really see the big deal. Like say you're dating someone else now and your friend starts dating your ex. As long as you're both happy, i don't see the big deal
I think the breakup is the key to the situation. If things ended very poorly, specifically if your friend was hurt, it would be awful to date the man that hurt her. On the flip side, if she dumped him or they managed to end things without wanting each other dead (it happens, I'm living proof) then I don't see it as an issue. It's important to be realistic about whether all 3 parties can handle being in the same room together as well. If not, then I'd suggest cutting your dating losses & move on.
I know someone who married their younger sister's ex. They're all happy with it :) I think it depends in time and how serious the relationship was as you said. I imagine the sisters did A LOT of talking about it all. Awkward!
That'd be awesome to see a gundam building video. I haven't made one since I was a kid when Gundam Wing was airing. Also I think it may vary if a girlfriend dated another girlfriend's ex boy, vs a guy dating his friend's ex girl. I think it may be okay if the friend ended it with the datee, but if the datee ended it and the friend may have lingering feelings then its precarious
I agree with you and Trisha. I feel like in general, it's just really awkward. And if they were in a serious long-term relationship, it's just disrespectful. Think about how it would affect your friendship; could you talk to her about him, or vice versa?
my thing is....if it shouldn't be an issue..i guess there should be a point of like 6 months or so before the friend talks to the ex... there's nothing wrong with your friend sitting you down and saying " hey listen i know you and your ex had your history but i'm kinda interested, and i just wanted to let you know"..... my reasoning is that, no one has the right to tell you who you can and cannot date, because that maybe the person for them and not you...just my 2 cents ! Luv u Megggggggggggggg!
love how you made the dating of a friend's ex sound like dumpster diving. reduce, reuse, recycle? hand-me-down dating?? as for my thoughts, she's an ex for a reason. i'd have to try to save my friend from driving over that cliff, if for no other reason than to say "tried to warn ya" when the shit hits the fan.
I think for me the dividing line is where your friend was after their break-up. If it was devastating and absolutely tore their life apart, then it is absolutely off limits. If it was a mutual thing and they just grew apart, I think that is a little different. I would never want my friend to constantly be wondering if I made him happy in ways that she couldn't or anything. It would all just depend on how it ended and how they feel now.
I agree but I am also in a relationship of the same predicament. She was my friends old ex for a year. But 3 years later, me and his girlfriends paths crossed, with no intensions of being together. It just happened. Events lined up between us. We unintentionally suddenly fell for each other and now I am "that guy" in a happy relationship going on 8 years now.
I feel the same as you. I wouldnt ever want to date a friends ex, as it would be to weird and uncomfortable. But at the same time, if it has been enough time between the break up, you could be keeping your friend from finding happiness. So ultimately I would probably let it be to see if they can be happy together and just get over the weirdness over time.
One of my friends has been dating another friend's ex, but they dated at age 15 and it lasted 3 weeks! So that was different, but generally I completely agree with you!
Even in a serious relationship I think its fine to date a friend's ex as long as you run it by them. If they say no then they are being unreasonable in my opinion. Relationships come/go and if a friend of mine had any chance to meet a girl, fall in love, get married and live a happy life then I would hate to come between that. If the relationship goes well= happiness . If it goes badly=move on. Simples. I am a dude btw so maybe guys and girls feel different? Love you meg, keep being awesome.
you love who you love. nobody has the right to interfere, even your best friend dated them. if you are happy with that person and they make you feel special, it shouldn't matter and your friend should be happy for you because you're happy!
Matters how long and permission from the friend, also depends on who asks who. No serious long term exes, but then again I try to not have friends who are shallow. Very complicated, highly and hotly debated, arguable, etc. If someone dated this one chick who I got friend zoned, I'd be a bit taken a back, but also that's cuz she said she wasn't looking for relationships or dates and she's very honest and saint like, which is why I
I hooked my ex up with one of my friends. We dated for three years and after six months of being apart I set her up with my friend because I wanted them to be happy. He's still a bro and she's still a friend, I'll admit it was a little weird at first because no one knew how to react but it has now all worked out for the best.
Its up to a few things for me. Like, you cant help who you like. It just depends on how they broke up and if your friend or whoever is 100% okay with it.
I think it is a case-by-case situation. There's so many factors to consider -- the longevity of the previous relationship, the seriousness of the relationship, the relationship between the ex and the friend during said relationship, the status of the relationship between the exes presently, etc. Honestly, it would take some seriously strong feelings on my part to consider dating a serious ex of a good friend. I think it depends, but shouldn't be based on awkwardness alone.
I feel like for it to be appropriate the relationship would have to occur naturally, with neither one of the parties seeking the other out. Like no messaging , but if you keep seeing them at your coffee shop and you really enjoy their company; well hopefully your strong enough friends to handle it.
i think you and shisha are cray, if i date a girl and it doesn't work out, and my friend wants to go out with her months/years later then i'm cool with that, maybe i'd want my friend to ask me if it was ok first out of respect, but i'd never say ''no you cant date her, i've already been there'' :)
I don't believe in a "perfect match", but if people have a functional relationship and are happy, then no one should stand between them. Also, people change over time. Your bad break-up is no prediction of future bad break-ups. Lastly, communication is key. Regardless of time passed, it is wise to discuss it openly. Most of the problems occur when trust is broken by doing things behind people's backs and I believe this is the reason most people think it's bad to date other people's exes.
Depends. I was on a situation once where a girl came up to me for a date but a close friend really liked her so I avoided her until my friend realized what was happening and told me it would be ok with him for us to go out. This other time I had a really close friend who didn't treat his girl as good as I thought she deserved. I kinda liked her so, if I ever find myself in a situation where we could date, I would. She's a great girl and it's not our fault my friend didn't appreciate her.
According to the Bro Code a guy has to ask permission to date a friend's ex. However, once the question has been posted the asked friend is obligated to give his permission.
I think your social environment plays a big part in how you feel about it. I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone or at least knows someone who knows them so I have several friends who are married to exes.
There are a lot of factors that need to be taken into consideration, I think. How long you dated, how long you've been broken up, if the relationship ended badly, are you still friends with the ex, etc.? But imagine if you meet the most perfect guy, you quickly fall in love and then you learn he's one of your friends exes. I believe if the relationship would work, then your friend should be okay with letting you be with who you want to be with. All involved must be happy for it to work. IMO :)
For me its completely situational. If a friend and their ex were dating for at most 2 years or less then i dont see an issue with it however if they were living together then i could see it being weird or uncool same if they were married and got divorced at the end of the day for me at least if two people are happy together then leave them alone ive had friends date my wx and we're still brothers to each other and i dated my friends ex and we're still bros
It's all about being considerate towards the other person. It doesn't really matter if you thinks its ok or not it just depends on the other person. Ask for permission period.
I totally agree that once you have had a relationship with someone it kind of gets put off limits at least for myself however I've also had friends date my ex and it was fine but that's also because every breakup I've had has been civil and without any hurt feelings.
Love and Happiness are two of the hardest things to find in this world. Who am I to put my feeling 'weird' in the way of my friend or ex finding either of those things with one another. If I have a problem that prevents me from being their friend any more then the problem lies within me. I'd definitely suggest having a long think about why you feel that way because it's probably rooted in some underlying insecurities. 93s
im a female and i really think if the two people who were within a relationship can honestly and truly in their heart tell you they are over the relationship and its been enough time since it ended then i believe its okay for friends to date ex's. I dated a guy and it never worked out and i was devastated but after some time my friend asked to date him and i gave it a shot and i was happy to see them happy.. i think everyones answer will be different.
I completely agree with Meg & Trish on this. Me & this girl broke up a couple days before valentine's day, & then I find out that she started dating a friend like 4 days later. But they kept it a secret & didn't tell me for like a month. I don't talk to them anymore.
Before you start thinking everyone following you is amazing! I have no creative talent of any kind.. now you know. Also, anything I contribute to this coversation would be pure theory, so I'll just abstain. NB. You're awesome PS. I'm going to stop typing now....
In my opinion it's weird. I agree with you maybe 90% of the way. Maaaybe if its been long enough like several years have passed or something but generally I'd still feel weird about it. To go as far as the no longer be friends is another matter I guess. It varies from person to person, situation to situation.
For me personally, totally understand the other way of thinking, but I think there are certain variables to consider. Ultimately, if my friend came up to me and said "Hey, I like your ex and I was thinking of asking her out" or something along those lines I would be cool with it because it's a sign of respect on their part to run it by me incase I was still emotional about it and I wouldn't want to be in the way of a potentially very happy relationship.
depends on how the relationship ended, Talk to your friend about it and let your friend know first about what you intend to do, have in mind period of time also counts
I think it depends on a lot of different factors, like how long did your friend date this person, were they in love, does your friend have any leftover feelings for them, how long have they been apart, etc. The one thing that never changes is that you ABSOLUTELY have to ask for your friend's permission, and if he/she says no, then hands off the ex.
I think the most important factor is how long its been since the breakup. If a friend of mine started dating a girl I'd just broken up with a couple weeks prior, I'd be royally pissed. If it's been more along the lines of a year (or whenever tempers/general emotions about the affair have cooled, be that over a longer or shorter timescale) then ya, go ahead. Bonus points if your friend asks or at least warns you, but that's not necessary.
from what i've noticed in situations where this issue came up between my friends, it appears to only matter if the friend who first dated the guy is in a relationship with someone else at the time when the second friend got together with them. That way jealousy doesn't fuel any potential issues and things can be overcome in a very civil way.
I was in a relationship with a girl for 4 years, first serious relationship and it was intense. Even after being broken up for three years and hardly communicate anymore, I don't think I would be cool with one of my friends dating her. There's serious, deep history there that no amount of time would make me forget.
I think if you didn't know they dated previously before you started dating the guy, you're totally in the clear. We're talking more along the lines of this was a serious relationship for like, your best friend, and then you date that guy you used to have around all the time after they break up? Weird.
I agree with Meg. It might depend on the circumstances of the break-up and how serious the relationship was, but generally I don't think I would want my friends to date my ex.
I would hope that there would be enough maturity between friends to acknowledge that while one relationship didn't work, that doesn't mean the ex isn't a good person and doesn't deserve to make someone you are also friends with happy. I agree time is deff needed in between, but look beyond yourself. Also, to put it into perspective, think of the lgbt world - exes date exes all the time and it's fine. One persons trash is another persons treasure.
I think it's OK. Most people usually keep their love life and there friends separate. Also I think it's bad to ruin a friendship just because of someones ex. I wouldn't be cool if they keep bringing them around with them and kinda rubbing it in your face. If you are happy with that person, go right ahead. Also if your friend knows sometime about the other person that's kinda a good thing, you can get a unique perspective and see why they didn't workout and see how can you fit with your partner.
This is one of those things that there can't be a set rule for as it has to be viewed in context. I have a an ex that's dating a friend and I'm fine with it as they are perfect for each other. Me and her dated for 3 years, but parted as we realised we should just be friends. I have no reason to have any issues and I want my friends to be happy. If things end badly then there could be awkwardness to address and I do think your friend should warn/ask you as curtesy as without it could cause issues
I think it really depends on how that person feels about it like how long it's been and whether they talked to you about it, if they still have feelings negative or positive for the person, if it was a bad break up, if it'd really really hurt them to see that etc. like context, as always, is important. Also if you care about the person more than you ever did about the friend which may seem kind of uncool but if you're better friends with your friend's ex than you are with your friend, eh.
One of my exes started dating a really good friend even after explicitly saying she wouldn't date any of my friends because she thought that would be fucked up. And he knew how hung up on her I still was at the time. Worst thing was having to hear about them being together from someone else. They ended up getting married and having 2 kids.They deserve each other though, and I have someone now exponentially better anyway.
It depends on who broke up with who, and the friend i guess. Some friends wouldnt care and some would. You need to know your friends well enough to make this decision
For guys it mostly depends on who dumped who. If I dumped a girl then she is fair game for my friends. We usually expect some room though. Like Bowser Boo said...about 6 months-ish. And if guys have problems with a friend dating an ex we usually speak up about it. ;)
I think it depends on how close your friend is so like if it's someone you're not very close to and don't speak to often, sure why not? But if it's like one of your closest friends who you know really well and see on a regular basis. That shit doesn't fly!
I haven't been put in that situation (yet) but if a friend did that to me then I think I would be upset at first but eventually get over it. I personally think that just because we dated it doesn't give me ownership over them. So yeah, they can do whatever if it makes them happy, it's their life. :D Although I think it would be nice if there was some form of communication between the friend and me beforehand just to get misunderstandings out of the way.
I think it's okay, as long as you respect each other. I'm not saying you have to ask the other person permission but, don't do anything with your friend's ex in front of your friend. My friend didn't know that though, when she dated my ex and so I was hurt for a while because she didn't know that kissing him in front of me was a no no. Even though I hated his guts (and he later broke her heart), I still didn't like it cause I was in a relationship with that person!
It's a case-by-case basis. You should always ask beforehand. I feel like I shouldn't make someone off-limits to my friends just because it didn't work out for me.
There are a lot of variables, but if it was a good break (no animosity between either person) & your friend is not the next in line to date then it should be cool. If it feels weird, don't be with ex & friend at the same time. I figure what if that ex and your friend end up extremely happy together, maybe even get married, is it worth losing a great friendship because they are happy together or deny your friend the chance of true love? I think it's cool as long as people can remain civil.
I would have to agree with steve on this one. I've seen that happen multiple times. If the people are right for eachother, they're past shouldn't matter. I've been dating my best friends ex for a year and a bit, and me and him are going to make music together today. it's not weird at all to us.
Time is not important. And I have lost friends over it in the past. But I think you need to ask ur friend. If they are cool with it, it's fine. If not, no go. And they don't have to have a single reason for it. Whatever they want goes.
I'm not bothered with it. I have done it and it had been done to me. I am still friends with the other guys involved. I feel like, you shouldn't worry about the past and keep looking to the future. If somebody wants your hand me downs, let them make their choice. The only thin that would piss me off, is if it was going on while we were still together.
I think it would be awkward in the very least and then depending on how serious you were and how bad the break up was could mean that you don't want to talk to / see your friend anymore because you don't want to talk to / see their significant other.
I'd also like to add that I talked to her at length about it when I first started to "crush" on him in the slightest....way before we started dating. I think you just have to take it situation by situation. If it's a shady or backstabbing thing, that's definitely a no-no
I think it all depends on how the break up went. If you had a terrible emotional break up that the person then No, your friend should respect you enough to stay away. But if it was a mutual breakup between two people who decided they would just be better off as friends then as long as everyone is ok with it, I don't see a problem with it.
Same thing, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get pissed. There's a reason for the breakup, and when something ends, you should never stay emotionally attached to someone for a long period of time. If someone broke up with me, I would get over them and let them date whoever they want. I know, easier said than done, but I'm sure I wouldn't mind, because that person is not my possession and they can do whatever they want.
I feel like permission is necessary, and it depends on how the relationship ended. If he breaks your friend's heart, it is never ever okay to date him. If they break up mutually and decide they're just not in love, then I think it is okay to date him as long as she is okay with it.
It's really about the situation. Couples are going to have mutual friends, especially if they date for a while. If your friend's ex is also your friend and your reasons for dating them have nothing to do with your mutual friend that used to be in a relationship with one of you then you shouldn't need permission or their blessing. It certainly might cause conflict but you don't have ownership over your exes and friends, they are people.
I think it depends on how they broke up first. And allowing a bit of time to past.
Adults should be able to end things on good terms and if thats the case, it wouldn't be as big of a deal, right? If you end explosively or one of you is still attached, then it's not possible because of drama
Your girl code is bang on ! I as a bloke totally agree . I would be truly pissed if my mate started seeing an ex of mine ! Your hair is awesome.
Meg, you're usually so sensible I was quite surprised you feel so strongly against dating Exes. Personally, I think you should talk about it prior to your friend and it all depends on their decision. Love that you're putting up more videos latey, and that they're all done in one take. Impressive.
the last dragon chronicles! they are amazing books and now you are even more amazing than i thought you ever were!
woo woo so many vids this week! :D time-lapse gundam would be fun! you can just use imovie to speed up footage, so you can record it on your phone and then transfer it over pretty easily! :3
i agree with you and shish! i think if the relationship was serious, it's a no-no, but if it was casual, i think it shouldn't be a problem! :3 definitely weird, and there's a good chance they met your friend through you!
Thank you for agreeing with me Meg. My best friend (now ex best friend) started dating my ex a month after we broke up and they didn't understand why I was hurt about it. She said because I said I was over him she thought it was okay. So again, thank you for understanding my point of view.
So, if you and your boyfriend broke up and your friend came to you and said "I wanna date him," you'd be alright with it? I guess I think even if you're no longer attracted to a person, it's still so weird to have them around, especially dating your friend. Do you listen to your friend talking about their sex life, problems, etc.? Isn't that weird?
I totally agree with you and Trisha, it would be weird and awkward. Just imagine hanging out with your friend, talking about boys and whatnot, when she starts going on about her boyfriend, your ex. There is no way that will not be awkward.
I think it's more about sacrificing something because you care about your friend's feelings. I agree with Meg; You might not know how your friend would feel about you seeing someone they've been intimately involved with before. And I'd choose to give up something for myself than hurt a friend.
Pennys high five was friggn adorable great vid meg
can't wait to see the timelapse video, there are a bunch of apps that can do it for you, they're pretty easy.
I totally agree with Meggers. If that person meant something to you, your friend should respect that.
My buddy and my ex started dating and I had been in a relationship with her for 2 years beforehand. I thought it was a little weird but when it became obvious to him that things were there between them he took it upon himself to talk to me, buy me a beer and sit down to see how I felt about it. I have enormous respect for anyone who has the balls to do that and I'm genuinely happy for both of them. I think it depends on how it was handled.
I agree with you meg. My friends ex had a crush on me a while back and I felt so bad because of that. Not that I returned his feelings or anything, but I felt like it was my fault that they broke up. Anyway today they have both found their significant other and so have I.
i just went to your channel and hit refresh and wouldn't you know it, a video just came out :)
It depends on the people and the situation. Communication with everyone involved is a must.
You make a good point, and like i said, i do think it would be weird. But if you're over the breakup, i don't really see the big deal. Like say you're dating someone else now and your friend starts dating your ex. As long as you're both happy, i don't see the big deal
True love can find its place anywhere Meg.
I think the breakup is the key to the situation. If things ended very poorly, specifically if your friend was hurt, it would be awful to date the man that hurt her. On the flip side, if she dumped him or they managed to end things without wanting each other dead (it happens, I'm living proof) then I don't see it as an issue. It's important to be realistic about whether all 3 parties can handle being in the same room together as well. If not, then I'd suggest cutting your dating losses & move on.
I know someone who married their younger sister's ex. They're all happy with it :) I think it depends in time and how serious the relationship was as you said. I imagine the sisters did A LOT of talking about it all. Awkward!
That'd be awesome to see a gundam building video. I haven't made one since I was a kid when Gundam Wing was airing. Also I think it may vary if a girlfriend dated another girlfriend's ex boy, vs a guy dating his friend's ex girl. I think it may be okay if the friend ended it with the datee, but if the datee ended it and the friend may have lingering feelings then its precarious
Communication is important. Talk to your friend about it. Everyone is different.
I agree with you and Trisha. I feel like in general, it's just really awkward. And if they were in a serious long-term relationship, it's just disrespectful. Think about how it would affect your friendship; could you talk to her about him, or vice versa?
my thing is....if it shouldn't be an issue..i guess there should be a point of like 6 months or so before the friend talks to the ex... there's nothing wrong with your friend sitting you down and saying " hey listen i know you and your ex had your history but i'm kinda interested, and i just wanted to let you know"..... my reasoning is that, no one has the right to tell you who you can and cannot date, because that maybe the person for them and not you...just my 2 cents ! Luv u Megggggggggggggg!
love how you made the dating of a friend's ex sound like dumpster diving. reduce, reuse, recycle? hand-me-down dating?? as for my thoughts, she's an ex for a reason. i'd have to try to save my friend from driving over that cliff, if for no other reason than to say "tried to warn ya" when the shit hits the fan.
I think for me the dividing line is where your friend was after their break-up. If it was devastating and absolutely tore their life apart, then it is absolutely off limits. If it was a mutual thing and they just grew apart, I think that is a little different. I would never want my friend to constantly be wondering if I made him happy in ways that she couldn't or anything. It would all just depend on how it ended and how they feel now.
I agree but I am also in a relationship of the same predicament. She was my friends old ex for a year. But 3 years later, me and his girlfriends paths crossed, with no intensions of being together. It just happened. Events lined up between us. We unintentionally suddenly fell for each other and now I am "that guy" in a happy relationship going on 8 years now.
I feel the same as you. I wouldnt ever want to date a friends ex, as it would be to weird and uncomfortable. But at the same time, if it has been enough time between the break up, you could be keeping your friend from finding happiness. So ultimately I would probably let it be to see if they can be happy together and just get over the weirdness over time.
Worth it that a simple relationship should end a friendship. Unless it's uncalled for.
Steve and Ross are absolute right. Love who you love.
One of my friends has been dating another friend's ex, but they dated at age 15 and it lasted 3 weeks! So that was different, but generally I completely agree with you!
Even in a serious relationship I think its fine to date a friend's ex as long as you run it by them. If they say no then they are being unreasonable in my opinion. Relationships come/go and if a friend of mine had any chance to meet a girl, fall in love, get married and live a happy life then I would hate to come between that. If the relationship goes well= happiness . If it goes badly=move on. Simples. I am a dude btw so maybe guys and girls feel different? Love you meg, keep being awesome.
I love that you take the time to respond to the comments!... then i remember the inappropriate comments I've made. Whoops :)
you love who you love. nobody has the right to interfere, even your best friend dated them. if you are happy with that person and they make you feel special, it shouldn't matter and your friend should be happy for you because you're happy!
I love it when Penny is in the videos, she's so cute it makes me giggle!
Matters how long and permission from the friend, also depends on who asks who. No serious long term exes, but then again I try to not have friends who are shallow. Very complicated, highly and hotly debated, arguable, etc. If someone dated this one chick who I got friend zoned, I'd be a bit taken a back, but also that's cuz she said she wasn't looking for relationships or dates and she's very honest and saint like, which is why I
I hooked my ex up with one of my friends. We dated for three years and after six months of being apart I set her up with my friend because I wanted them to be happy. He's still a bro and she's still a friend, I'll admit it was a little weird at first because no one knew how to react but it has now all worked out for the best.
Its up to a few things for me.
Like, you cant help who you like.
It just depends on how they broke up and if your friend or whoever is 100% okay with it.
yes please do a time lapse of the gundam model. I've been wanting to see something like that since the moment I saw it.
That high five was among the cutest things I've ever seen in my life.
I think it is a case-by-case situation. There's so many factors to consider -- the longevity of the previous relationship, the seriousness of the relationship, the relationship between the ex and the friend during said relationship, the status of the relationship between the exes presently, etc. Honestly, it would take some seriously strong feelings on my part to consider dating a serious ex of a good friend. I think it depends, but shouldn't be based on awkwardness alone.
I feel like for it to be appropriate the relationship would have to occur naturally, with neither one of the parties seeking the other out. Like no messaging , but if you keep seeing them at your coffee shop and you really enjoy their company; well hopefully your strong enough friends to handle it.
i think you and shisha are cray, if i date a girl and it doesn't work out, and my friend wants to go out with her months/years later then i'm cool with that, maybe i'd want my friend to ask me if it was ok first out of respect, but i'd never say ''no you cant date her, i've already been there'' :)
I don't believe in a "perfect match", but if people have a functional relationship and are happy, then no one should stand between them. Also, people change over time. Your bad break-up is no prediction of future bad break-ups. Lastly, communication is key. Regardless of time passed, it is wise to discuss it openly. Most of the problems occur when trust is broken by doing things behind people's backs and I believe this is the reason most people think it's bad to date other people's exes.
Depends. I was on a situation once where a girl came up to me for a date but a close friend really liked her so I avoided her until my friend realized what was happening and told me it would be ok with him for us to go out.
This other time I had a really close friend who didn't treat his girl as good as I thought she deserved. I kinda liked her so, if I ever find myself in a situation where we could date, I would. She's a great girl and it's not our fault my friend didn't appreciate her.
I felt guilty liking a guy that one of my friends had liked before... so I say I'm with you and Trish.
According to the Bro Code a guy has to ask permission to date a friend's ex. However, once the question has been posted the asked friend is obligated to give his permission.
Meg one of your exes has one of my favourite podcast on the Internet
I think your social environment plays a big part in how you feel about it. I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone or at least knows someone who knows them so I have several friends who are married to exes.
There are a lot of factors that need to be taken into consideration, I think. How long you dated, how long you've been broken up, if the relationship ended badly, are you still friends with the ex, etc.? But imagine if you meet the most perfect guy, you quickly fall in love and then you learn he's one of your friends exes. I believe if the relationship would work, then your friend should be okay with letting you be with who you want to be with. All involved must be happy for it to work. IMO :)
For me its completely situational. If a friend and their ex were dating for at most 2 years or less then i dont see an issue with it however if they were living together then i could see it being weird or uncool same if they were married and got divorced
at the end of the day for me at least if two people are happy together then leave them alone ive had friends date my wx and we're still brothers to each other and i dated my friends ex and we're still bros
It's all about being considerate towards the other person. It doesn't really matter if you thinks its ok or not it just depends on the other person. Ask for permission period.
I totally agree that once you have had a relationship with someone it kind of gets put off limits at least for myself however I've also had friends date my ex and it was fine but that's also because every breakup I've had has been civil and without any hurt feelings.
The fact that you said yall in this video made me fall in love with you.
Love and Happiness are two of the hardest things to find in this world. Who am I to put my feeling 'weird' in the way of my friend or ex finding either of those things with one another. If I have a problem that prevents me from being their friend any more then the problem lies within me. I'd definitely suggest having a long think about why you feel that way because it's probably rooted in some underlying insecurities. 93s
im a female and i really think if the two people who were within a relationship can honestly and truly in their heart tell you they are over the relationship and its been enough time since it ended then i believe its okay for friends to date ex's. I dated a guy and it never worked out and i was devastated but after some time my friend asked to date him and i gave it a shot and i was happy to see them happy.. i think everyones answer will be different.
I completely agree with Meg & Trish on this. Me & this girl broke up a couple days before valentine's day, & then I find out that she started dating a friend like 4 days later. But they kept it a secret & didn't tell me for like a month. I don't talk to them anymore.
Time laps yes what to see that. I agree with you and trisha you don't do that. Pantaloooons word of the day
Didn't know you had your own channel Meg, only knew you from SourceFed but now i have subscribed!
Before you start thinking everyone following you is amazing! I have no creative talent of any kind.. now you know.
Also, anything I contribute to this coversation would be pure theory, so I'll just abstain.
NB. You're awesome
PS. I'm going to stop typing now....
In my opinion it's weird. I agree with you maybe 90% of the way. Maaaybe if its been long enough like several years have passed or something but generally I'd still feel weird about it. To go as far as the no longer be friends is another matter I guess. It varies from person to person, situation to situation.
For me personally, totally understand the other way of thinking, but I think there are certain variables to consider. Ultimately, if my friend came up to me and said "Hey, I like your ex and I was thinking of asking her out" or something along those lines I would be cool with it because it's a sign of respect on their part to run it by me incase I was still emotional about it and I wouldn't want to be in the way of a potentially very happy relationship.
depends on how the relationship ended, Talk to your friend about it and let your friend know first about what you intend to do, have in mind period of time also counts
I think it depends on a lot of different factors, like how long did your friend date this person, were they in love, does your friend have any leftover feelings for them, how long have they been apart, etc. The one thing that never changes is that you ABSOLUTELY have to ask for your friend's permission, and if he/she says no, then hands off the ex.
I think the most important factor is how long its been since the breakup. If a friend of mine started dating a girl I'd just broken up with a couple weeks prior, I'd be royally pissed. If it's been more along the lines of a year (or whenever tempers/general emotions about the affair have cooled, be that over a longer or shorter timescale) then ya, go ahead. Bonus points if your friend asks or at least warns you, but that's not necessary.
from what i've noticed in situations where this issue came up between my friends, it appears to only matter if the friend who first dated the guy is in a relationship with someone else at the time when the second friend got together with them. That way jealousy doesn't fuel any potential issues and things can be overcome in a very civil way.
HI PENNY! Oh shes sooo cute. And I should mention I dated the best friend of my ex and it wasnt so bad.
I was in a relationship with a girl for 4 years, first serious relationship and it was intense. Even after being broken up for three years and hardly communicate anymore, I don't think I would be cool with one of my friends dating her. There's serious, deep history there that no amount of time would make me forget.
I think if you didn't know they dated previously before you started dating the guy, you're totally in the clear. We're talking more along the lines of this was a serious relationship for like, your best friend, and then you date that guy you used to have around all the time after they break up? Weird.
Shish and I basically said "There are lots of other fish in the sea. Find another damn fish."
I agree with Meg. It might depend on the circumstances of the break-up and how serious the relationship was, but generally I don't think I would want my friends to date my ex.
This convo needs to be live! I agree with you.....No P sharing LOL
I would hope that there would be enough maturity between friends to acknowledge that while one relationship didn't work, that doesn't mean the ex isn't a good person and doesn't deserve to make someone you are also friends with happy. I agree time is deff needed in between, but look beyond yourself. Also, to put it into perspective, think of the lgbt world - exes date exes all the time and it's fine. One persons trash is another persons treasure.
I think it's OK. Most people usually keep their love life and there friends separate. Also I think it's bad to ruin a friendship just because of someones ex. I wouldn't be cool if they keep bringing them around with them and kinda rubbing it in your face. If you are happy with that person, go right ahead. Also if your friend knows sometime about the other person that's kinda a good thing, you can get a unique perspective and see why they didn't workout and see how can you fit with your partner.
This is one of those things that there can't be a set rule for as it has to be viewed in context. I have a an ex that's dating a friend and I'm fine with it as they are perfect for each other. Me and her dated for 3 years, but parted as we realised we should just be friends. I have no reason to have any issues and I want my friends to be happy. If things end badly then there could be awkwardness to address and I do think your friend should warn/ask you as curtesy as without it could cause issues
I think it really depends on how that person feels about it like how long it's been and whether they talked to you about it, if they still have feelings negative or positive for the person, if it was a bad break up, if it'd really really hurt them to see that etc. like context, as always, is important. Also if you care about the person more than you ever did about the friend which may seem kind of uncool but if you're better friends with your friend's ex than you are with your friend, eh.
One of my exes started dating a really good friend even after explicitly saying she wouldn't date any of my friends because she thought that would be fucked up. And he knew how hung up on her I still was at the time. Worst thing was having to hear about them being together from someone else. They ended up getting married and having 2 kids.They deserve each other though, and I have someone now exponentially better anyway.
It depends on who broke up with who, and the friend i guess. Some friends wouldnt care and some would. You need to know your friends well enough to make this decision
For guys it mostly depends on who dumped who. If I dumped a girl then she is fair game for my friends. We usually expect some room though. Like Bowser Boo said...about 6 months-ish. And if guys have problems with a friend dating an ex we usually speak up about it. ;)
I think it depends on how close your friend is so like if it's someone you're not very close to and don't speak to often, sure why not? But if it's like one of your closest friends who you know really well and see on a regular basis. That shit doesn't fly!
I haven't been put in that situation (yet) but if a friend did that to me then I think I would be upset at first but eventually get over it. I personally think that just because we dated it doesn't give me ownership over them. So yeah, they can do whatever if it makes them happy, it's their life. :D Although I think it would be nice if there was some form of communication between the friend and me beforehand just to get misunderstandings out of the way.
I think it's okay, as long as you respect each other. I'm not saying you have to ask the other person permission but, don't do anything with your friend's ex in front of your friend. My friend didn't know that though, when she dated my ex and so I was hurt for a while because she didn't know that kissing him in front of me was a no no. Even though I hated his guts (and he later broke her heart), I still didn't like it cause I was in a relationship with that person!
I can't wait to see you build the kit. My brother just recently went to otakon and bought like 7 kits lol
It's a case-by-case basis. You should always ask beforehand. I feel like I shouldn't make someone off-limits to my friends just because it didn't work out for me.
There are a lot of variables, but if it was a good break (no animosity between either person) & your friend is not the next in line to date then it should be cool. If it feels weird, don't be with ex & friend at the same time. I figure what if that ex and your friend end up extremely happy together, maybe even get married, is it worth losing a great friendship because they are happy together or deny your friend the chance of true love? I think it's cool as long as people can remain civil.
I would have to agree with steve on this one. I've seen that happen multiple times. If the people are right for eachother, they're past shouldn't matter. I've been dating my best friends ex for a year and a bit, and me and him are going to make music together today. it's not weird at all to us.
Time is not important. And I have lost friends over it in the past. But I think you need to ask ur friend. If they are cool with it, it's fine. If not, no go. And they don't have to have a single reason for it. Whatever they want goes.
I'm not bothered with it. I have done it and it had been done to me. I am still friends with the other guys involved. I feel like, you shouldn't worry about the past and keep looking to the future. If somebody wants your hand me downs, let them make their choice. The only thin that would piss me off, is if it was going on while we were still together.
I think it would be awkward in the very least and then depending on how serious you were and how bad the break up was could mean that you don't want to talk to / see your friend anymore because you don't want to talk to / see their significant other.
I'd also like to add that I talked to her at length about it when I first started to "crush" on him in the slightest....way before we started dating. I think you just have to take it situation by situation. If it's a shady or backstabbing thing, that's definitely a no-no
I think it all depends on how the break up went. If you had a terrible emotional break up that the person then No, your friend should respect you enough to stay away. But if it was a mutual breakup between two people who decided they would just be better off as friends then as long as everyone is ok with it, I don't see a problem with it.
You know Meg, I didn't really like you all that much when you first started on SourceFed, but I really think you're an okay bird, now :)
Same thing, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get pissed. There's a reason for the breakup, and when something ends, you should never stay emotionally attached to someone for a long period of time. If someone broke up with me, I would get over them and let them date whoever they want. I know, easier said than done, but I'm sure I wouldn't mind, because that person is not my possession and they can do whatever they want.
"Fly by the seat of my pantalooooooooooons!" is now part of my vocabulary, thanks Meg
Above all else, the heart is what matters most.
It depends on the timing of everything. It matters how long you dated as well as how long after the fact. And yes asking permission is a big factor
I feel like permission is necessary, and it depends on how the relationship ended. If he breaks your friend's heart, it is never ever okay to date him. If they break up mutually and decide they're just not in love, then I think it is okay to date him as long as she is okay with it.
It's really about the situation. Couples are going to have mutual friends, especially if they date for a while. If your friend's ex is also your friend and your reasons for dating them have nothing to do with your mutual friend that used to be in a relationship with one of you then you shouldn't need permission or their blessing. It certainly might cause conflict but you don't have ownership over your exes and friends, they are people.
I'm with Steve on this one, it would be weird for sure but I can live with it and still be friends.