My dad was severely bi-polar and he never sexually assaulted anyone. It’s really not right to blame the bi-polar. He was sexually abusive AND bi polar. Those are two separate things
Exactly. There are tons of people with various mental illnesses that dont assault others. It low key comes down to morals and who they are as a person 🤷🏾♀️
Exactly! As a bipolar person ty for saying people label all bad emotions as omg they are bipolar it's bs. They are violent and sexually off it's not the bipolar that causes sexual deviance or violence!
@@tiawarren5403My husband is BP. I think it likely that there are many people out there who have violent urges but keep them in check. I think one of the hazards of BP is it can distort perceptions, distort one's sense of entitlement, and that makes existing violent urges seem justified.
As someone who has witnessed the sexual assault of my own mom at a very young age, I can say that this never goes away. The images, the sounds, please get therapy for your daughter.
I was able to reframe the abuse I witnessed as a child with emdr from my therapist. It really helped and may help you too. it ha lightened my load quite a bit.
I really like the explanation that he gives that "mental health is a context, not an excuse". That's even a really useful thing to be able to do for regular situations, being able to explain why something happened without trying to excuse it. Context is a really good word to use instead of reason or excuse. " I did this because of this context, which doesn't excuse it, but I just want to be able to explain to you why it happened."
I was told the same thing as a child when my dad abused me “he is sick, that’s not your dad” because he was drunk when he did it. The damage that caused me as a child is so deep, deeper than what he actually did to me. Grace if you are reading this please acknowledge your child and her pain and don’t cover it with that sentence that he’s sick.
I feel your pain. My mother made excuses for my stepfather's sexual abuse of me, and there were no repercussions to him until he gave her a black eye and then she got rid of him.
Being "sick" is not what the daughter needs to hear. The focus needs to be in her healing and support. I witnessed my father assaulting his GF when I was a pre teen and didn't fully understand what happened (rape)until I was in my early 40s. Statute of limitations is up and it took place in a location I don't recall because we were travelling at the time. Needless it's devastating to go through that and even after years of therapy I still haven't been able to trust enough to get into a LTR. The daughter needs help and will likely need it for the rest of her life.
She got out (demonstrating that something is not ok) and she explained (verbalising that it is not ok). What you do and what you say MUST be concurrent. Good job, lady.
I had a bf who liked to play wrestle. Which was fine for the most part. ( I am playful and generally ok with tickles.) But he would take it to the point that my body would really start to fight him and he could tell when he trigged old trauma responses. He never hurt me and would take it personally that I had that response. As if I could control panic. It was weird because it seemed clear he didn’t actually want to hurt me but he did seem fascinated that he could trigger a trauma response by holding me down. Yeah buddy. Holding a woman down even playfully will cause a response. So glad I got out of that relationship. While he never did hurt me I could tell he liked to trigger me. My husband tried to play wrestle me when we were first married. Noticed it caused a trigger and never did it again because the idea that my body was really panicking was repugnant to him. I trust him completely and my body is never in alarm around him because he has always honored me and my boundaries even if I didn’t even know I needed them.
Oh honey I am sorry that happened to you. And yes he did hurt you. He abused you emotionally and mentally by knowingly triggering you. And then he got made at you for being upset. Yes honey. He abused you.
I had this similar experience( was originally caused by SA)and for a long time I didn’t understand what was happening. I also have this response if I am blocked in anywhere or trapped. It was hard for me to explain something that I didn’t fully understand myself. I’m grateful, that you shared this. It feels so validating in a way I can’t express. ❤
Me and my girlfriend both love playing around not necessarily wrestling but tickling and playing around. We have a safe word for playing and 100% of the time if she feels overwhelmed whatsoever she says that and everything stops no questions asked. It allows us to both play and she can be comfortable and know she has power over the situation.
Memories. I’m proud of you too!!! My mom knew her husband was sexually abusing my sister from 6 till she was 12. Only because they thought she was pregnant did my mom shoot him. Cops came long story short. My mom told my sister she ruined her life. None of us did well he went to prison but the state left all of us 6 kids with my mom who found another man that then mentally abused us. We lived a life of hell till we got away. I ran away. Finally state put me in childrens home I’m ok
I'm sorry you and your siblings had to go through that. This is wrong. Sending you lots of love! ❤️ And I wish you life filled with love to the brim from now on!
Please do not blame his disgusting actions on bipolar. Yes our emotions are strong and we can be manic, but we do not sexually abuse. We can control that.
I get sick of people blaming violence on bipolar as though everyone with bipolar are evil abusers . My nephew is bipolar and is fine on medications , but if he is off he cuts himself off and does not communicate . No violence or abuse to anyone . He is not a psychopath or sociopath or narcissist .
Yes, everything now is blamed on mental health issues, you see someone doing something horrible and the first thing people will say is, we can't judge this person may have a mental health problem. Mental health issues MAY play a role and be an explanation for the behavior, but it is not an excuse, and it can't be generalized.
sarasimms1848 totally agreed! Really, and truthfully, depression and abuse are all related to Satan and his hatred towards people! First of all, he doesn’t want anyone to come to the savior and he would love to divide and destroy as many families and people as he can so that he can actually drag them to an eternity in hellfire where he is going, and he knows that his time is short! so if you really want victory over depression then let me ask you have you been born again? do you belong to Jesus? because he’s truly the only way to overcome depression and really depression is for the most part a spiritual attack from Satan!!!!!! in Ephesians 6:11-12 it instructs to Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. that’s really what the majority of psychiatrists and counselors nowadays is not going to tell you that depression is actually a spiritual attack!!!!!! now don’t get me wrong it is true that there r chemical imbalances and antidepressant medications do help but you really can diet exercise do take medicine etc and still if you don’t belong to Jesus then your soul is still left feeling empty and why is that well let me tell you why……. i am glad to say that i am a born again Christian and i very much believe in the power of prayer and God’s word!!!!! God’s word is sharper than two edged sword as Hebrews 4:12 says!!!!! i pray that if you don’t belong to Christ that only the power of the Holy Spirit will enlighten you to the truth!!!!! only my voice falls on deaf ears!!!!! i am only human and i cannot say or do anything that will change a person’s mind!!!!! but the evidence of God’s existence is clearly seen in creation!!!!! look at the trees the grass the beautiful light blue sky the bright sunlight!!!!! the rainy days the stormy days….. how do you think we end up with events such as tornadoes earthquakes hurricanes etc all that there is obviously proof of God’s existence!!!!!! listen to a crying baby think about yourself how do you think you wake up every morning? is that not proof that there’s a God and there’s the power of prayer? i pray for you that if you read this that again you will not hear my voice but rather that the power of the holy spirit will enlighten you to the fact that there is a God and there is the power of prayer!!!!!! i pray that the Spirit will enlighten you to the fact that Jesus is the only way for a person to be rescued from God’s fierce wrath in that horrible place called Hell where the Bible says the fire is never quenched and their worm dieth not!!!!! the fact is everyone of us was born into a disease that is far worse than cancer or any other disease and that disease is known as sin!!!!! your sin is what absolutely separates you from a holy God and if you never get it treated will absolutely damn your soul to Hell for all of eternity!!!!! the worst thing about Hell is it’s forever!!!!!! once you end up there you will have to stay there forever and ever!!!!!! all hope is forever lost!!!!! and no you’re not annihilated but in fact you will forever experience the burning and stinging of fire!!!!! you will always be in unbearable pain but then again even that’s still not the very worst thing about it……the worst thing of all is the regret you will feel!!!!! and you will never forget!!!!!! you thought well it’s going to be so painful that I’ll obviously totally lose my memory!!!!! but nope!!!!! you will remember!!!!!! what will you remember? well you’ll remember how you denied God’s existence and scoffed at the cross in which Christ died on to not only save you from the consequences of sin but also the powers that hold you hostage to your sin and unbelief!!!!! you see if you committed the most heinous crimes and all of a sudden you had to appear in court and stand before a judge and you were found guilty of perhaps capital murder…..well that judge is going to sentence you to death row and a painful execution!!!!!! and if you tried to justify your good deeds well that’s not going to fly because still there is a heinous crime on your record and you must pay the consequences!!!!! well then let’s say you’re found guilty and right upon u being sentenced to death row all of a sudden someone you don’t even know just suddenly stands up and says wow wow wow hold it your honor i know this man has done a terrible thing and i know he deserves to die this terrible execution but still if only he’ll accept it then i really don’t want to see this happen to him so please let me take this death row and execution for him!!!!! well if you accepted the offer then all of a sudden you’d be a free man and you can walk out of the courtroom as if nothing ever happened but if you reject well then you’re absolutely insane and you’d have to pay the penalty yourself!!!!! well you see that’s what the person of Jesus Christ did for us!!!!! he looked at every sin we committed saw that we weren’t worthy knew that we deserved eternity under God’s wrath and even though he could’ve just said thank you father i’ve never sinned and thank goodness i’m never going to have to find out what it’s like to have to be punished for wrongdoing!!!! he could’ve called 10,000 angels to rescue him off the cross but no he actually chose willingly to lay down his life for all of us and let me tell you he died the most brutal painful horrifying execution that never was even meant for him!!!! it should’ve been us being painfully executed nailed to that cross and forced to walk up calvary’s hill afterwards and instead it was the perfect innocent lamb of God who took our place bore our guilt our sins and our shame on that cruel cross!!!!!! John 3:16 says For God so loved the world that he gave his only son that whosoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life!!!!!! Romans 5:8-9 says For God commends his love towards us that while we were yet sinners Christ still died for us and being justified by his blood we r spared the wrath of almighty God!!!!!! please please consider Jesus!!!!! he wants to save you but you must be willing to repent of your sins and unbelief!!!!! really if you get saved God’s grace actually gives you the ability to do that!!!!!! while Hell is a place of eternal regret salvation and Jesus Christ is where there’s no regret!!!!!! he and the very power of his holy spirit will prove God’s existence to you and every hard thing you go through God’s grace will always be there to help you through it!!!!! you can then know the absolute true peace comfort and joy that only he can bring you through a wonderful relationship with him!!!!!! but don’t procrastinate this because you’re not promised tomorrow or even another breath!!!!!! death is absolutely no respecter of persons!!!!!! and we live in such a life that’s so full of uncertainties!!!!! Hebrews 3:15 says today if you hear his voice harden not your heart!!!!!! 2 Corinthians 6 says now is the time and today is the day of salvation!!!!! call on the name of Jesus ask him to forgive your sins to wash away your sins to give you a new heart and new life and place your faith in his blood shed on calvary for you and the minute you do that you’ll never regret it and you’ll never be the same!!!!! God Bless and i much pray that has been an encouragement to you!!!!!
Them tell the to go shove it. I still don't forgive my mum for letting a creepy old man kiss my little sister on her lips. She was 10. I was 14 (also female) and he gave me a handshake. Same with my mother. It was just my sister he wanted a kiss from. If I ever have children, this isn't even going to be an option for a stranger for how to behave with my children.
This is my life. I had full custody for a few years then got a new judge and he said “single mothers keeping their kids from their fathers because they’re bitter is a cause I care a lot about” so my daughter will soon be alone overnight with the man who used to rape me right in front of her in the day and in my sleep repeatedly at night. I am so scared I don’t know what else to do. My advice to any woman who goes through this is to PUT HIM IN JAIL IMMEDIATELY I have no recourse because I didn’t want to put the father of my child in jail but I SHOULD HAVE to protect HER
My daughter witnesed too. I was so scared of her security also, especially since I was told to relax, as the abuse ended a year before the visits were to start. Can you delay the overnights? She needs to get confidend with the visits in daytime first. I got mine a mobile and we agreed on a secure word if she ever feels uncomfortabel in any situation and practise it. Do you have police officers who can counsel you and whom you can trust so they would show up at his to get her off if needed? He holds you captive to your fear (that you have for good reason) which gives him a lot of power over you. Do you have emotional support for you? Someone to stay with you at least the first visits? I wish I could be of better help... at least I hope you feel heard. Sry for the bad english, I am not a native speaker.
Its absolutely appalling that a judge could do that to a little girl! My God! What is this world coming to when a judge sends a little girl into the arms of a rapist!
It’s so hard to even listen to stories like these and it’s hard not to be uncomfortable listening. I feel for this baby girl and her momma and I hope they can heal ❤️
This poor child! She has internalized the whole experience. I'm just dying inside hearing this. The trauma is terrible. Then hearing the moms story! You might want to call the women's shelter for a referral for you mom. Stop the generational pain.
Good for you. My mom stayed with her abusive husband and encouraged me to continue to accept his behavior as a small child. Sickening. Your actions are giving your daughter a mother she can respect....God bless you. 🙏
@tairymiranda725 helps to remind ourselves that we were young, we weren't capable of doing more than we did, and not a bit of it was our fault or responsibility
abused or not, trauma or no trauma, we need to normalize asking _all_ kids for consent to hug, touch, engage w| their body in any way. they may be younger and/or smaller but children are still people + they have rights + deserve full bodily autonomy. that includes having the freedom + security in their safety to decline physical contact, even from mom + dad + definitely from extended family, friends, + strangers.
@@robertoduenas5346 Them wanting to show affection is not bad. The difference is giving a hug or physical contact when one does not want it. An adult should be in tune enough to see if a child (or adult) is not wanting the physical contact. One can be respectful and switch it up and ask for a hi-five or fist bump instead or just blow a kiss. I bet you every girl remembers the awkward hugs by some uncles who held on a bit too long, that you were not allowed to decline. Big disservice to teach children to that they have no say in the matter. Now that’s nonesense.
@@Suedepants100 you think it’s reasonable or normal to ask permission, to give your own kids a hug or a kiss or there grand parents, to do the same. If you think that’s normal, where on different wavelengths.
That actually part of Sex education in schools. The role of consent and what is appropriate and inappropriate. Too many people want to shut down sex eduction, and then wonder why their kid tells them they were molested and but didn't tell them. There should be sex education and all stages of childhood. the first one should always be body Autonomy, and what is "inappropriate" behaviour by children and adults.
Wow what an amazing woman. All the things she had to deal with and her questions are only based on her daughter... I have no words other then I hope she continues to move forward in her life and be a great mother to her child.
My step father r@ped my mom when I was 8,his family destroyed my life and I'm still not ok. Kids who have been abused or seen abuse don't trust anyone. I was 15 before she finally left him. I do not talk about this with anyone because it's far too hard
I understand what she said. Dr John, love EVERYTHING you have said. So, so, so many people DON'T UNDERSTAND unless they have been there done that. Some of what you said are things I battle. Thank you for helping and guiding Grace.
I am bipolar and am sick of people saying that is the cause of violent behaviors etc! FACT bipolar people are less likely to be violent. He had other reasons for his violence.. quit making me feel bad for my illness.. sick of it. Tv portrays this too..
This guy isn’t bipolar and doesn’t have bipolar symptoms. He was diagnosed by the local Feelings Counselor and the RUclips comments. Not by a sad dude in a lab coat with a clipboard like us 😉
I think it’s selfish to make several comments about yourself, when this poor woman has had to deal with all this trauma. Be angry at the man who used his BP as an excuse to rape his wife and emotionally abuse his kid.
@@CandicePoethank you!! I was gonna say the same thing. This story isn’t about EVERYONE THAT HAS BP! it is about this specific situation where he used this as an excuse to abuse the people around him. Nowhere in this entire video is it said that “people with bp assault others”
I was a child of abuse and spent my whole childhood protecting my mother's life, even sending my dad to jail. It left life long scars, I never got married put of fear and have massive anxiety I really relate to the daughter.
I think it would be good not to cover up for your ex EVER for any reason! Glad to hear she's in counseling. Maybe when she's older she could have some EMDR.
WHY are you letting a relative show anger toward your children for not giving him physical affection??? Even if she NEVER saw any abuse, you do NOT let someone guilt your child into giving affection!
Please, do not make excuses for men or women who assault or are violent or abusive. That whole bipolar or depressed or assertive nonsense is crap excuse. Even being drunk or high is a poor excuse.
COVID lockdown put a magnifying glass on my husband's BP, too. I hadn't realized how bad his eating disorder was. I hadn't realized how covert he is, how often he lies. Four years later and I'm incredibly stressed. I know my kids feel it. They act out violently because of how unstable this household is. I, too, am proud of the caller for getting her daughter out.
So much sexual perversion exists.. Sin and disease has such a ferocious attack on moral character. For example, we don't hear "he/she is bipolar and anxiety, and when he/she cooks, he/she keeps burning the food intentionally." Nope, people lash out aggressively through sex and violence
@sincerelybriahyper-sexuality and sexual assault are two mutually exclusive things though. Most bipolar people who are hyper-sexual are probably more likely to get r@ped or partake in risky/dangerous sexual behavior as opposed to forcing themselves on another person. Sexual assault is a defect in morality and character, not mental illness
This is so triggering for me.. my daughter was 13 when my ex r’d me with her on the other side of the sheet rock.. There are so many parallels in our stories .
Sooooooo tired of people blaming physical and sexual assault on mental issues. If that's the cause, then they need a straight jacket and padded cell. Instead, they use that excuse to get away with it. It's time we stop accepting that.
I have always asked my son if I can hug him. Sometimes he playfully says no and I back off immediately. Even playfully saying no. He will immediately say I was teasing and cone to me for a hug I tell him you said no that means no. He insists he was teasing and I tell him I don't care. Someone says no that means no. I'm hoping it is engrained in his head that if someone tells him no he knows to stop whatever it is he's doing no matter what it is.
I don’t like the idea of this woman leaving her daughter for a month. Because of her background she’s not great at knowing who she can trust. I don’t think the daughter should be left with anyone. Maybe the mother can do intensive day treatment(?)
All need serious therapy. But a righteous man actually loving her could be part of the healing. Yes no unapproved hugs etc. yes no fil touches/hugs, but a good man (not romantic) who really cares is not out of bounds
Covering for him or minimizing for him will HURT HER. He did not do that because he's bipolar, he did it because he's an SAer. You are teaching her to accept mistreatment if the person who hurts her has a "big teeter totter."
Bipolar does =/=violent or abusive! When I was diagnosed (type 2, medicated), the first thing out of my mother's mouth was "So you like hurting people?". I was H-O-R-R-I-F-I-E-D! I would NEVER EVER EVER want to hurt anyone. Never. Where does this stigma come from?!
Why why why are broken people having children BEFORE they get well and now their children are broken too? Makes me so angry. Having come from that kind of system, I know all too well the devastation. So unacceptable. It's not stopping with her, John, it might stop with her daughter, time will tell. It is now the daughter's burden to bear.☹
My friend did intensive therapy and it was one of the best things that person could do for them and their child. Similar backstory of abuse as the caller. The therapy allowed them to go through life in a way where they can handle reminders of the abuse without having the PTSD completely overcome them. Yes, the memory of the abuse would come into their mind, recognize it, push it to the side, and move forward at that moment.
My three yr old will accept kisses and hugs and at a certain point during a hug he says in a calm voice “you need to stop. I no longer want this.” It always feels like a breakup. But I’m so happy I’ve made sure he knows and uses that boundary.
I think it may depend on self awareness. Some abused kids never realise they were abused, and can't solve the cycle. But others start to realise it was abuse, and become determined not to repeat it. Maybe that was you?
Did no one catch the whole 'she made someone bleed! Omg' well they were restraining her. Why??? Why was an 8yo being restrained at school?? Why not talk about the fact that a man touched a child's chest after she said she didn't want him to??? I'm confused. Yes please do continue to ask if you can touch that child. She doesn't feel safe because she's not.
Grace, if you're reading this, please find and follow Sarah McDugal and look into the resources she's put together. She advocates for Trauma Mommas and has supportive communities you could join.
I wonder if a very gentle yet firm male therapist would help her eventually realize that not all men are violent and scary. A sad story. With a hero as mom😢
I would not recommend a male therapist impo. I was raped and molested by my teen and young adult cousins from 4 or 5 until 8... they put me with a male therapist after the first two women passed me on. The thought of that male therapist STILL gives me the creeps and it's over 15 years later. It was incredibly uncomfortable talking to a man about my sexual abuse, the most disturbing aspect was his pointed questions about the details and how I felt about them. Which still haunt me at times. Idk I just wouldn't recommend it.
Unfortunately, using a mental illness to excuse away violent or harmful behavior is incredibly damaging. Yes, mental instability or illness can contribute to errative behavior. However, it is not healthy to say "because this person is expericing psychosis, or bipolar, or mood swings, they can say and do cruel things". It makes dealing with the related trauma becomes a war. "This person was mentally ill, so I shouldn't feel angry/bitter/hurt".
My mum always said "well i had it worse when i was growing up" bc i dont acknowledge my oldest brother as a brother bc he SA'ed me when i was 5yo and he was 14yo.
I am very loving to my grandkids. However, if they don’t want a hug at anytime I will ask for a hug. Only the youngest will sometimes say no, usually when he is “hangry”. But, I don’t force them.
"She doesnt handle male sterness or male discipline well at all" and she's calling because she can't tell if thats from being present to and victim of assault, or because of puberty??
man, i think all parents (people in general) should obtain their kids consent before touching them (hugs and kisses) once theyre past the age of being dependent on you for essential tasks. KIDS ARE NOT YOUR PROPERTY.
I don't thìnk the child need to know that more people had hurt her mom. I hope this child never experience anymore trauma like her mother did. Hope this cycle stops
My heart goes out to you. You have a Father in Heaven. He is the perfect male figure that you can go to. He loves you unconditionally and purely as only a perfect Father can. I know of many people who have gone through years of therapy, but when they paired it with faith & prayer, they received real healing. The Atonement of Jesus Christ was not only to heal our sinful souls. It was also to heal us from the harms caused by sinful or sick people or events out of our control. God knew we would face hardship & tragedy in this life. That's why He sent His Son. Lots of love & best wishes for healing for you and your precious little girl! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
i have listened to this previously. and had a cookout with my family today and i dont have a daughter. but my puppy got lose and i felt like i lost everything beyond her and her safetyy. i just want her to be able to live life.... in terrified of this
Dr John, I agree with most everything you say but I have a problem with how you characterize living with someone with bipolar. If you work hard with a professional and stay on your medication and learn what you don't know you can raise sensitive children and live in a happy, healthy home
Amazing and strong woman. What does John suggest when she talks about EMDR Therapy, I cannot really understand him. If she was his sister he would suggest her to start with what?
It's called "precocious puberty" which is when puberty symptoms start earlier (around 7 and 8 years old) than average and it happens a lot more often than you think! Some people are just genetically predisposed to start puberty earlier.
She can’t trust her mom to stand up for her since her mom didn’t stand up for herself. She’s taken on the adult role of protecting those around her because her mom didn’t do it.
I was the scapegoat child in my family, our family structure was based on keeping mother & youngest sister happy. When you are constantly denied fairness, evenhandedness in discipline, experiences, opportunities, you begin insisting on justice, fairness be applied.
My dad was severely bi-polar and he never sexually assaulted anyone. It’s really not right to blame the bi-polar. He was sexually abusive AND bi polar. Those are two separate things
Exactly. There are tons of people with various mental illnesses that dont assault others. It low key comes down to morals and who they are as a person 🤷🏾♀️
Exactly! As a bipolar person ty for saying people label all bad emotions as omg they are bipolar it's bs. They are violent and sexually off it's not the bipolar that causes sexual deviance or violence!
@@tiawarren5403My husband is BP. I think it likely that there are many people out there who have violent urges but keep them in check. I think one of the hazards of BP is it can distort perceptions, distort one's sense of entitlement, and that makes existing violent urges seem justified.
I believe that,too,setter
I am bipolar and would never have sex with anyone that did not want it.
As someone who has witnessed the sexual assault of my own mom at a very young age, I can say that this never goes away. The images, the sounds, please get therapy for your daughter.
I was able to reframe the abuse I witnessed as a child with emdr from my therapist. It really helped and may help you too. it ha lightened my load quite a bit.
She had mentioned halfway through the video that her daughter is in two forms of therapy
Same
How did you move forward?
Her dad's family is still in her life??? Dad better not be. He needs to be in jail.
Even his family being involved can sometimes be dangerous. She needs to protect her daughter.
whole family locked up
You don’t know much about women do you? She will probably stay with him or go back to him. Women love men that gives drama to their lives.
@@VictorFernandes-q9owhat a disgusting and absolutely false comment. Then again that is expected from a "man".
I really like the explanation that he gives that "mental health is a context, not an excuse". That's even a really useful thing to be able to do for regular situations, being able to explain why something happened without trying to excuse it. Context is a really good word to use instead of reason or excuse. " I did this because of this context, which doesn't excuse it, but I just want to be able to explain to you why it happened."
I was told the same thing as a child when my dad abused me “he is sick, that’s not your dad” because he was drunk when he did it. The damage that caused me as a child is so deep, deeper than what he actually did to me. Grace if you are reading this please acknowledge your child and her pain and don’t cover it with that sentence that he’s sick.
Fellow Inuyasha fan 👀
I feel your pain. My mother made excuses for my stepfather's sexual abuse of me, and there were no repercussions to him until he gave her a black eye and then she got rid of him.
@@lynnebucher6537u deserved better
Being "sick" is not what the daughter needs to hear. The focus needs to be in her healing and support. I witnessed my father assaulting his GF when I was a pre teen and didn't fully understand what happened (rape)until I was in my early 40s. Statute of limitations is up and it took place in a location I don't recall because we were travelling at the time. Needless it's devastating to go through that and even after years of therapy I still haven't been able to trust enough to get into a LTR. The daughter needs help and will likely need it for the rest of her life.
@@lynnebucher6537I am so sorry that your mother was a selfish failure . I hope that your life has been good without that in your life .
The title is enough to make me stop breathing. Jesus Christ have mercy
You should say God have mercy Instead
@@purplelove3666 cringe
She got out (demonstrating that something is not ok) and she explained (verbalising that it is not ok). What you do and what you say MUST be concurrent. Good job, lady.
I had a bf who liked to play wrestle. Which was fine for the most part. ( I am playful and generally ok with tickles.) But he would take it to the point that my body would really start to fight him and he could tell when he trigged old trauma responses. He never hurt me and would take it personally that I had that response. As if I could control panic. It was weird because it seemed clear he didn’t actually want to hurt me but he did seem fascinated that he could trigger a trauma response by holding me down. Yeah buddy. Holding a woman down even playfully will cause a response. So glad I got out of that relationship. While he never did hurt me I could tell he liked to trigger me. My husband tried to play wrestle me when we were first married. Noticed it caused a trigger and never did it again because the idea that my body was really panicking was repugnant to him. I trust him completely and my body is never in alarm around him because he has always honored me and my boundaries even if I didn’t even know I needed them.
Oh honey I am sorry that happened to you. And yes he did hurt you. He abused you emotionally and mentally by knowingly triggering you. And then he got made at you for being upset. Yes honey. He abused you.
Oh, that’s beautiful. I’m so happy your husband is your protector 💛
You found a good one honey ❤
I had this similar experience( was originally caused by SA)and for a long time I didn’t understand what was happening. I also have this response if I am blocked in anywhere or trapped. It was hard for me to explain something that I didn’t fully understand myself. I’m grateful, that you shared this. It feels so validating in a way I can’t express. ❤
Me and my girlfriend both love playing around not necessarily wrestling but tickling and playing around. We have a safe word for playing and 100% of the time if she feels overwhelmed whatsoever she says that and everything stops no questions asked. It allows us to both play and she can be comfortable and know she has power over the situation.
Memories. I’m proud of you too!!! My mom knew her husband was sexually abusing my sister from 6 till she was 12. Only because they thought she was pregnant did my mom shoot him. Cops came long story short. My mom told my sister she ruined her life. None of us did well he went to prison but the state left all of us 6 kids with my mom who found another man that then mentally abused us. We lived a life of hell till we got away. I ran away. Finally state put me in childrens home I’m ok
Wow sending you a hug and so much light !
so many weak and dependent women, and look at what they put their kids through.
How are your siblings too?
God damn.
I'm sorry you and your siblings had to go through that. This is wrong.
Sending you lots of love! ❤️ And I wish you life filled with love to the brim from now on!
I’m proud of you, mama. You have a responsibility to protect your daughter and you are.
Please do not blame his disgusting actions on bipolar. Yes our emotions are strong and we can be manic, but we do not sexually abuse. We can control that.
Yep! Bipolar here, not violent or a sexual assaulter.
I get sick of people blaming violence on bipolar as though everyone with bipolar are evil abusers . My nephew is bipolar and is fine on medications , but if he is off he cuts himself off and does not communicate . No violence or abuse to anyone . He is not a psychopath or sociopath or narcissist .
Yes, everything now is blamed on mental health issues, you see someone doing something horrible and the first thing people will say is, we can't judge this person may have a mental health problem. Mental health issues MAY play a role and be an explanation for the behavior, but it is not an excuse, and it can't be generalized.
But he is!!
sarasimms1848 totally agreed! Really, and truthfully, depression and abuse are all related to Satan and his hatred towards people! First of all, he doesn’t want anyone to come to the savior and he would love to divide and destroy as many families and people as he can so that he can actually drag them to an eternity in hellfire where he is going, and he knows that his time is short! so
if you really want victory over depression then let me ask you have you been born again? do you belong to Jesus? because he’s truly the only way to overcome depression and really depression is for the most part a spiritual attack from Satan!!!!!! in Ephesians 6:11-12
it instructs to Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. that’s really what the majority of psychiatrists and counselors nowadays is not going to tell you that depression is actually a spiritual attack!!!!!! now don’t get me wrong it is true that there r chemical imbalances and antidepressant medications do help but you really can diet exercise do take medicine etc and still if you don’t belong to Jesus then your soul is still left feeling empty and why is that well let me tell you why…….
i am glad to say that i am a born again Christian and i very much believe in the power of prayer and God’s word!!!!! God’s word is sharper than two edged sword as Hebrews 4:12 says!!!!! i pray that if you don’t belong to Christ that only the power of the Holy Spirit will enlighten you to the truth!!!!! only my voice falls on deaf ears!!!!! i am only human and i cannot say or do anything that will change a person’s mind!!!!! but the evidence of God’s existence is clearly seen in creation!!!!! look at the trees the grass the beautiful light blue sky the bright sunlight!!!!! the rainy days the stormy days….. how do you think we end up with events such as tornadoes earthquakes hurricanes etc all that there is obviously proof of God’s existence!!!!!! listen to a crying baby think about yourself how do you think you wake up every morning? is that not proof that there’s a God and there’s the power of prayer? i pray for you that if you read this that again you will not hear my voice but rather that the power of the holy spirit will enlighten you to the fact that there is a God and there is the power of prayer!!!!!! i pray that the Spirit will enlighten you to the fact that Jesus is the only way for a person to be rescued from God’s fierce wrath in that horrible place called Hell where the Bible says the fire is never quenched and their worm dieth not!!!!! the fact is everyone of us was born into a disease that is far worse than cancer or any other disease and that disease is known as sin!!!!! your sin is what absolutely separates you from a holy God and if you never get it treated will absolutely damn your soul to Hell for all of eternity!!!!! the worst thing about Hell is it’s forever!!!!!! once you end up there you will have to stay there forever and ever!!!!!! all hope is forever lost!!!!! and no you’re not annihilated but in fact you will forever experience the burning and stinging of fire!!!!! you will always be in unbearable pain but then again even that’s still not the very worst thing about it……the worst thing of all is the regret you will feel!!!!! and you will never forget!!!!!! you thought well it’s going to be so painful that I’ll obviously totally lose my memory!!!!! but nope!!!!! you will remember!!!!!! what will you remember? well you’ll remember how you denied God’s existence and scoffed at the cross in which Christ died on to not only save you from the consequences of sin but also the powers that hold you hostage to your sin and unbelief!!!!! you see if you committed the most heinous crimes and all of a sudden you had to appear in court and stand before a judge and you were found guilty of perhaps capital murder…..well that judge is going to sentence you to death row and a painful execution!!!!!! and if you tried to justify your good deeds well that’s not going to fly because still there is a heinous crime on your record and you must pay the consequences!!!!! well then let’s say you’re found guilty and right upon u being sentenced to death row all of a sudden someone you don’t even know just suddenly stands up and says wow wow wow hold it your honor i know this man has done a terrible thing and i know he deserves to die this terrible execution but still if only he’ll accept it then i really don’t want to see this happen to him so please let me take this death row and execution for him!!!!! well if you accepted the offer then all of a sudden you’d be a free man and you can walk out of the courtroom as if nothing ever happened but if you reject well then you’re absolutely insane and you’d have to pay the penalty yourself!!!!! well you see that’s what the person of Jesus Christ did for us!!!!! he looked at every sin we committed saw that we weren’t worthy knew that we deserved eternity under God’s wrath and even though he could’ve just said thank you father i’ve never sinned and thank goodness i’m never going to have to find out what it’s like to have to be punished for wrongdoing!!!! he could’ve called 10,000 angels to rescue him off the cross but no he actually chose willingly to lay down his life for all of us and let me tell you he died the most brutal painful horrifying execution that never was even meant for him!!!! it should’ve been us being painfully executed nailed to that cross and forced to walk up calvary’s hill afterwards and instead it was the perfect innocent lamb of God who took our place bore our guilt our sins and our shame on that cruel cross!!!!!! John 3:16 says For God so loved the world that he gave his only son that whosoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life!!!!!! Romans 5:8-9 says For God commends his love towards us that while we were yet sinners Christ still died for us and being justified by his blood we r spared the wrath of almighty God!!!!!! please please consider Jesus!!!!! he wants to save you but you must be willing to repent of your sins and unbelief!!!!! really if you get saved God’s grace actually gives you the ability to do that!!!!!! while Hell is a place of eternal regret salvation and Jesus Christ is where there’s no regret!!!!!! he and the very power of his holy spirit will prove God’s existence to you and every hard thing you go through God’s grace will always be there to help you through it!!!!!
you can then know the absolute true peace comfort and joy that only he can bring you through a wonderful relationship with him!!!!!! but don’t procrastinate this because you’re not promised tomorrow or even another breath!!!!!! death is absolutely no respecter of persons!!!!!! and we live in such a life that’s so full of uncertainties!!!!! Hebrews 3:15 says today if you hear his voice harden not your heart!!!!!! 2 Corinthians 6 says now is the time and today is the day of salvation!!!!! call on the name of Jesus ask him to forgive your sins to wash away your sins to give you a new heart and new life and place your faith in his blood shed on calvary for you and the minute you do that you’ll never regret it and you’ll never be the same!!!!! God Bless and i much pray that has been an encouragement to you!!!!!
She needs to take her & her daughter to see a counselor on a consistent basis
Preferably someone who's trained to tackle trauma, especially sexual trauma, as it's not something all are equipped to do
Even in marriage, mutual consent is still required. This should be self-explanatory, but unfortunately, it’s not for some people.
I've always been uncomfortable when grandma and grandpa force hugs on my kids.
Them tell the to go shove it. I still don't forgive my mum for letting a creepy old man kiss my little sister on her lips. She was 10. I was 14 (also female) and he gave me a handshake. Same with my mother. It was just my sister he wanted a kiss from. If I ever have children, this isn't even going to be an option for a stranger for how to behave with my children.
Set boundaries for them. They can't do it themselves and this conditions them to accept these personal violations:/
This is my life. I had full custody for a few years then got a new judge and he said “single mothers keeping their kids from their fathers because they’re bitter is a cause I care a lot about” so my daughter will soon be alone overnight with the man who used to rape me right in front of her in the day and in my sleep repeatedly at night. I am so scared I don’t know what else to do. My advice to any woman who goes through this is to PUT HIM IN JAIL IMMEDIATELY I have no recourse because I didn’t want to put the father of my child in jail but I SHOULD HAVE to protect HER
My daughter witnesed too. I was so scared of her security also, especially since I was told to relax, as the abuse ended a year before the visits were to start. Can you delay the overnights? She needs to get confidend with the visits in daytime first. I got mine a mobile and we agreed on a secure word if she ever feels uncomfortabel in any situation and practise it. Do you have police officers who can counsel you and whom you can trust so they would show up at his to get her off if needed? He holds you captive to your fear (that you have for good reason) which gives him a lot of power over you. Do you have emotional support for you? Someone to stay with you at least the first visits?
I wish I could be of better help... at least I hope you feel heard. Sry for the bad english, I am not a native speaker.
How awful for you both 😢
This is your life but it’s also hers!!!! Protect her at all costs!!!
Its absolutely appalling that a judge could do that to a little girl! My God! What is this world coming to when a judge sends a little girl into the arms of a rapist!
THANK YOU DR. JOHN, for the lesson in body autonomy. Parents, teach your children they always have the right to say NO!!!
It’s so hard to even listen to stories like these and it’s hard not to be uncomfortable listening. I feel for this baby girl and her momma and I hope they can heal ❤️
What does being bipolar or whatever have to do with sexual assaulting people???
Right???
Nothing but it was something she gave him as an excuse for his behavior cuz it was too hard for her to compréhend hes a monster
And while manic . Some bi polar people get hypersexualised. And might not make Best decisions
@@murdahmammiezexactly!!
Nothing..it's ignorance..
This poor child! She has internalized the whole experience. I'm just dying inside hearing this. The trauma is terrible. Then hearing the moms story! You might want to call the women's shelter for a referral for you mom. Stop the generational pain.
Good for you. My mom stayed with her abusive husband and encouraged me to continue to accept his behavior as a small child. Sickening. Your actions are giving your daughter a mother she can respect....God bless you. 🙏
Saw my mom getting raped and beaten more times than I can count as a kid. Even in my forties, it just never leaves. I feel for this mom, and kid.
❤❤❤
❤love and light be upon you
How did you move forward? I’m struggling with this a lot
@tairymiranda725 helps to remind ourselves that we were young, we weren't capable of doing more than we did, and not a bit of it was our fault or responsibility
abused or not, trauma or no trauma, we need to normalize asking _all_ kids for consent to hug, touch, engage w| their body in any way.
they may be younger and/or smaller but children are still people + they have rights + deserve full bodily autonomy. that includes having the freedom + security in their safety to decline physical contact, even from mom + dad + definitely from extended family, friends, + strangers.
What a bunch of nonsense. So it’s bad if your grandparents or your own parents wanna show you affection, because you don’t want someone to touch you.
@@robertoduenas5346 Them wanting to show affection is not bad. The difference is giving a hug or physical contact when one does not want it. An adult should be in tune enough to see if a child (or adult) is not wanting the physical contact. One can be respectful and switch it up and ask for a hi-five or fist bump instead or just blow a kiss. I bet you every girl remembers the awkward hugs by some uncles who held on a bit too long, that you were not allowed to decline. Big disservice to teach children to that they have no say in the matter. Now that’s nonesense.
@@robertoduenas5346Your desire to touch someone does not supercede that someone's desire to not be touched by you. Why would you think that's okay?
@@robertoduenas5346it’s absolutely not nonsense. It’s disturbing that you don’t understand consent and boundaries. Please, seek help.
@@Suedepants100 you think it’s reasonable or normal to ask permission, to give your own kids a hug or a kiss or there grand parents, to do the same. If you think that’s normal, where on different wavelengths.
I know 2 bipolar people. These don’t sexual assault people. 😮
That actually part of Sex education in schools. The role of consent and what is appropriate and inappropriate. Too many people want to shut down sex eduction, and then wonder why their kid tells them they were molested and but didn't tell them. There should be sex education and all stages of childhood. the first one should always be body Autonomy, and what is "inappropriate" behaviour by children and adults.
Wow what an amazing woman. All the things she had to deal with and her questions are only based on her daughter... I have no words other then I hope she continues to move forward in her life and be a great mother to her child.
Right, so amazing that she turned a blind eye to a sociopath and had a child with him. Use your brain.
@@hillarybillary21use YOUR brain. All of your sentence was incorrect.
@@Suedepants100 what part of the sentence was incorrect?
My step father r@ped my mom when I was 8,his family destroyed my life and I'm still not ok. Kids who have been abused or seen abuse don't trust anyone. I was 15 before she finally left him. I do not talk about this with anyone because it's far too hard
I understand what she said.
Dr John, love EVERYTHING you have said. So, so, so many people DON'T UNDERSTAND unless they have been there done that. Some of what you said are things I battle.
Thank you for helping and guiding Grace.
I feel so bad for the mom and the daughter
I am bipolar and am sick of people saying that is the cause of violent behaviors etc! FACT bipolar people are less likely to be violent. He had other reasons for his violence.. quit making me feel bad for my illness.. sick of it. Tv portrays this too..
He said it’s a context, not an excuse.
This guy isn’t bipolar and doesn’t have bipolar symptoms. He was diagnosed by the local Feelings Counselor and the RUclips comments. Not by a sad dude in a lab coat with a clipboard like us 😉
I think it’s selfish to make several comments about yourself, when this poor woman has had to deal with all this trauma. Be angry at the man who used his BP as an excuse to rape his wife and emotionally abuse his kid.
@@robt1100how the hell would you know are you his doctor? She would know she has a psychology degree you idiot….
@@CandicePoethank you!! I was gonna say the same thing. This story isn’t about EVERYONE THAT HAS BP! it is about this specific situation where he used this as an excuse to abuse the people around him. Nowhere in this entire video is it said that “people with bp assault others”
I was a child of abuse and spent my whole childhood protecting my mother's life, even sending my dad to jail. It left life long scars, I never got married put of fear and have massive anxiety I really relate to the daughter.
I’m so sorry and proud of your strength thank you for what you did I’m happy you’re safe
I think it would be good not to cover up for your ex EVER for any reason! Glad to hear she's in counseling. Maybe when she's older she could have some EMDR.
WHY are you letting a relative show anger toward your children for not giving him physical affection??? Even if she NEVER saw any abuse, you do NOT let someone guilt your child into giving affection!
Please, do not make excuses for men or women who assault or are violent or abusive. That whole bipolar or depressed or assertive nonsense is crap excuse. Even being drunk or high is a poor excuse.
Rightly said!!
COVID lockdown put a magnifying glass on my husband's BP, too. I hadn't realized how bad his eating disorder was. I hadn't realized how covert he is, how often he lies. Four years later and I'm incredibly stressed. I know my kids feel it. They act out violently because of how unstable this household is. I, too, am proud of the caller for getting her daughter out.
You deserve to get help. Be safe.🙏❤️
@@blueStarKitt7924 Thank you ❤️
So much sexual perversion exists.. Sin and disease has such a ferocious attack on moral character. For example, we don't hear "he/she is bipolar and anxiety, and when he/she cooks, he/she keeps burning the food intentionally." Nope, people lash out aggressively through sex and violence
@sincerelybriahyper-sexuality and sexual assault are two mutually exclusive things though. Most bipolar people who are hyper-sexual are probably more likely to get r@ped or partake in risky/dangerous sexual behavior as opposed to forcing themselves on another person. Sexual assault is a defect in morality and character, not mental illness
@@Confettifun🤔 Yes.
They do the food thing too. It's not sexual perversion that causes this, it's male entitlement.
Abuse is always a choice. A mental health diagnosis is never an excuse.
EMDR is great. Make sure the therapist you choose is certified and uses that modality as a regular mainstay of their practice.
Some family members should not be ones. Putting someone through trauma or abuse is just going to be expensive therapy in the future.
This is so triggering for me..
my daughter was 13 when my ex r’d me with her on the other side of the sheet rock..
There are so many parallels in our stories .
Jesus... I read the title and I don't feel like I can listen to this one... I'm sorry
Sooooooo tired of people blaming physical and sexual assault on mental issues. If that's the cause, then they need a straight jacket and padded cell. Instead, they use that excuse to get away with it. It's time we stop accepting that.
Exactly.
Yes, I 100% agree.
No more "unfit for trial" rulings.
Deal with it…it’s her story
Keep being strong mama❤️
I have always asked my son if I can hug him. Sometimes he playfully says no and I back off immediately. Even playfully saying no. He will immediately say I was teasing and cone to me for a hug I tell him you said no that means no. He insists he was teasing and I tell him I don't care. Someone says no that means no. I'm hoping it is engrained in his head that if someone tells him no he knows to stop whatever it is he's doing no matter what it is.
I also hope he knows that if he says no that means no and he has the right to protect himself.
I don’t like the idea of this woman leaving her daughter for a month. Because of her background she’s not great at knowing who she can trust. I don’t think the daughter should be left with anyone. Maybe the mother can do intensive day treatment(?)
All need serious therapy. But a righteous man actually loving her could be part of the healing. Yes no unapproved hugs etc. yes no fil touches/hugs, but a good man (not romantic) who really cares is not out of bounds
No one said it was out of bounds. But it’s not demanded. It’s on the girl’s terms. She can say NO.
Covering for him or minimizing for him will HURT HER. He did not do that because he's bipolar, he did it because he's an SAer. You are teaching her to accept mistreatment if the person who hurts her has a "big teeter totter."
Just wanted to add something: The bipolar might've worsened or otherwise influenced the abuse, but didn't cause it.
Her dad has bipolar - AND is an abusive person. Please stop minimizing abuse or calling it shades of grey ❤
Bipolar does =/=violent or abusive!
When I was diagnosed (type 2, medicated), the first thing out of my mother's mouth was "So you like hurting people?". I was H-O-R-R-I-F-I-E-D! I would NEVER EVER EVER want to hurt anyone. Never. Where does this stigma come from?!
She needs to go to the police !
She probably has already. The daughter sees a therapist so I’m sure they reported it
My father is a very mentally ill alcoholic and never sexually assaulted anyone, much less my mother. None of that is an excuse or a reason.
Why why why are broken people having children BEFORE they get well and now their children are broken too? Makes me so angry. Having come from that kind of system, I know all too well the devastation. So unacceptable. It's not stopping with her, John, it might stop with her daughter, time will tell. It is now the daughter's burden to bear.☹
I was sexually assaulted and I did emdr therapy and it helped me alot with my journey. Please get therapy. Hope everyone is doing well!
My friend did intensive therapy and it was one of the best things that person could do for them and their child. Similar backstory of abuse as the caller. The therapy allowed them to go through life in a way where they can handle reminders of the abuse without having the PTSD completely overcome them. Yes, the memory of the abuse would come into their mind, recognize it, push it to the side, and move forward at that moment.
Awesome Dr Delony! Thank you
What an amazing mom Grace is. I hope she and her daughter are doing well today
My three yr old will accept kisses and hugs and at a certain point during a hug he says in a calm voice “you need to stop. I no longer want this.” It always feels like a breakup. But I’m so happy I’ve made sure he knows and uses that boundary.
I watched my father beat my mom and I got beaten a lot but strangely that made me strong and a good mom to my kids. Is that normal? 🤷♀️
I think it may depend on self awareness. Some abused kids never realise they were abused, and can't solve the cycle. But others start to realise it was abuse, and become determined not to repeat it. Maybe that was you?
Did no one catch the whole 'she made someone bleed! Omg' well they were restraining her. Why??? Why was an 8yo being restrained at school?? Why not talk about the fact that a man touched a child's chest after she said she didn't want him to??? I'm confused. Yes please do continue to ask if you can touch that child. She doesn't feel safe because she's not.
She said her daughter asked why the dad touched “your”(the mothers) chest.
when people fight, other people can restrain them to stop the fight. she said the kid was beating someone
Grace, if you're reading this, please find and follow Sarah McDugal and look into the resources she's put together. She advocates for Trauma Mommas and has supportive communities you could join.
I wonder if a very gentle yet firm male therapist would help her eventually realize that not all men are violent and scary. A sad story. With a hero as mom😢
I would not recommend a male therapist impo. I was raped and molested by my teen and young adult cousins from 4 or 5 until 8... they put me with a male therapist after the first two women passed me on. The thought of that male therapist STILL gives me the creeps and it's over 15 years later. It was incredibly uncomfortable talking to a man about my sexual abuse, the most disturbing aspect was his pointed questions about the details and how I felt about them. Which still haunt me at times. Idk I just wouldn't recommend it.
Telling your daughter he does abusive things because he's mentally ill is possibly setting her up to excuse abusive actions from men in the future
"So strong you just lie down and go to bed at night"
Holy....
That hit me SO HARD...
Sometimes people are just bad people and evil. No mental diagnoses needed.
Unfortunately, using a mental illness to excuse away violent or harmful behavior is incredibly damaging.
Yes, mental instability or illness can contribute to errative behavior. However, it is not healthy to say "because this person is expericing psychosis, or bipolar, or mood swings, they can say and do cruel things". It makes dealing with the related trauma becomes a war. "This person was mentally ill, so I shouldn't feel angry/bitter/hurt".
People with bi-polar have no greater likelihood of SA'd someone. That has LITERALLY nothing to do with his bipolar.
My mum always said "well i had it worse when i was growing up" bc i dont acknowledge my oldest brother as a brother bc he SA'ed me when i was 5yo and he was 14yo.
You just made. Me cry. I had bipolar who abused me this way
Why would this mom allow the sperm donors family to have any contact with this kid? Nope no way?
These callers sure can pick em
I am very loving to my grandkids. However, if they don’t want a hug at anytime I will ask for a hug. Only the youngest will sometimes say no, usually when he is “hangry”. But, I don’t force them.
Why, in the world, is this woman in contact with her husband's father?
"She doesnt handle male sterness or male discipline well at all" and she's calling because she can't tell if thats from being present to and victim of assault, or because of puberty??
Women's boundaries have to be respected no matter what
13:25 i discovered breathwork by accident ., started doing yoga and meditation during Covid …
I know this video was posted a year ago. But still eye opening to watch/listen too. Definitely gives me stuff to think about.
She needs to leave him.
Were you listening?
man, i think all parents (people in general) should obtain their kids consent before touching them (hugs and kisses) once theyre past the age of being dependent on you for essential tasks.
KIDS ARE NOT YOUR PROPERTY.
I think this woman could benefit from taking a self defense class and she needs a new therapist.
Damn I emphasize with this hard. All the best of luck to u and urs...ur doing great!!!💙💙💙
Your analogies rock!
my daughter was diagnosed as bipolar age 14 she also had ODD
I don't thìnk the child need to know that more people had hurt her mom. I hope this child never experience anymore trauma like her mother did. Hope this cycle stops
My heart goes out to you. You have a Father in Heaven. He is the perfect male figure that you can go to. He loves you unconditionally and purely as only a perfect Father can. I know of many people who have gone through years of therapy, but when they paired it with faith & prayer, they received real healing. The Atonement of Jesus Christ was not only to heal our sinful souls. It was also to heal us from the harms caused by sinful or sick people or events out of our control. God knew we would face hardship & tragedy in this life. That's why He sent His Son. Lots of love & best wishes for healing for you and your precious little girl!
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
The guy is an abuser. The bipolar is irrelevant. Hope he didn’t abuse the daughter.
i have listened to this previously. and had a cookout with my family today and i dont have a daughter. but my puppy got lose and i felt like i lost everything beyond her and her safetyy. i just want her to be able to live life.... in terrified of this
Extremely devestating
If you had a shitty past and skeletons in the closet than you attract a mate that has a shitty past. Mother and daughter both need therapy.
Gosh I'm so glad i came across this today.
15:23 your brain won’t ever forget
Crap this one is hard.
Dr John, I agree with most everything you say but I have a problem with how you characterize living with someone with bipolar. If you work hard with a professional and stay on your medication and learn what you don't know you can raise sensitive children and live in a happy, healthy home
"you need to do an intensive". And intensive what?
This was heavy.
Amazing and strong woman. What does John suggest when she talks about EMDR Therapy, I cannot really understand him. If she was his sister he would suggest her to start with what?
Bipolar makes the other person crazy? I’d rephrase that considering you’re a mental health professional
Actually... he's not. Look at his educational degrees.
0:51
Eight?!? I’m sorry eight!!! She’s going through puberty?!?!? This isn’t normal. Did I miss something?!?
It's called "precocious puberty" which is when puberty symptoms start earlier (around 7 and 8 years old) than average and it happens a lot more often than you think! Some people are just genetically predisposed to start puberty earlier.
It happens in girls when they are raised in a traumatic environment.
No you misheard. The daughter was asking her mom why the dad nonconsensually groped her mother's chest
it does happen
Where does that "heightened sense of justice" from the kid come from?
The mum not standing up for herself
Could be ADHD or autism.
She can’t trust her mom to stand up for her since her mom didn’t stand up for herself. She’s taken on the adult role of protecting those around her because her mom didn’t do it.
I was the scapegoat child in my family, our family structure was based on keeping mother & youngest sister happy. When you are constantly denied fairness, evenhandedness in discipline, experiences, opportunities, you begin insisting on justice, fairness be applied.
Some people are born with that warrior spirit. Thank God for them. Not every kid raised in an abusive household has it
Bruh this guy keeps interrupting
Clearly you have misunderstood what is being said. Please listen to the whole video again.
You should have gotten her out of that home way sooner you failed your daughter