西方和亞洲的育兒方式大不同！開放式還是封閉式育兒較好？7歲兒子的成熟思想超乎我的認知 My English Husband Too Relaxed Raising our Mixed Kids?!?
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- Опубликовано: 22 июл 2023
- 要如何在確保小孩安全，又能學會獨立之間取得平衡？
What’s the balance between keeping your children safe and letting them gain independence?
要如何決定在孩子幾歲的時候才讓他們接觸不同的事？😬
At what age can you trust your children to do certain things? 😬
在爸爸和媽媽都在不同的國家長大、有著完全不同的文化，要一起共組家庭扶養小孩，會遇到什麼困難？🇭🇰👩x🇬🇧👱♂️
How hard is it to raise children in a family where both parents were brought up in entirely different countries and completely different cultures? 🇭🇰👩x🇬🇧👱♂️
而我們將會在這集的VLOG回答以上的問題！🎥😊
These are the questions we provide OUR answers to in today’s VLOG. 🎥😊
作為兩個孩子的父母，我們無時無刻都在想如何能令他們在最好的環境下成長學習，長大成為負責任、善良和體貼的大人。
As parents of two kids, we are constantly thinking about whether we are providing them with the best possible environment to eventually grow into responsible, kind and thoughtful adults.
但這一點也不容易，因為Laurence和我都在不同的環境下長大，我們經常會因此產生分歧🫠
But this isn’t always easy and there are conflicts along the way between Laurence and I as parents and partners from different backgrounds 🫠
所以該如何在我們之間取得平衡，尤其是現在我們搬來英國之後！？🇬🇧
So how do we balance our contrasting styles, especially now we live in the UK?! 🇬🇧
趕快來看這部影片，看看我們在英國爬山的這一天⛰️ 我們還一起進行了一個測試自己為人父母的能力的小遊戲喔！😁 🟢🔴
Jump into this video to find out and to watch us on an outdoor adventure in the rolling English hills ⛰️ before putting our parenting skills to the test in a fun scenarios game 😁🟢🔴
很同意Gladys 講欺凌果部分，你係會為小朋友嘅心理健康考慮。被欺凌嘅經歷其實會影響成年後自我形象，以及是否懂得應付職場欺凌/不公對待。
我贊成中庸之道，我覺得西人有時對小朋友太過放鬆，東亞父母又普遍大個啦溺愛小孩，做父母實在很難拿捏，都要視乎不同環境和個別小朋友嘅性格去決定怎樣教育他們。
教養子女真是一個大課題，很難說哪一種方式一定得或者唔得。作為父母最好透過觀察孩子的反應和成長，有需要時便作出修正。
唔一劳永逸嘅方法
我今年40歲，我回想起我細個果時，1年級就已經自己返學放學，自己過馬路，當年小學係有啲過馬路校工幫手舉牌的，八十年代時期，放學去球場踢波，見識過黑社會，見識過打白粉針既道友，見識過童黨，見識過俾小朋友搶野，童黨圍毆，見識過校園欺凌，今日既我，訓練到百毒不侵，其實好多謝我有個不一樣既童年，同啲小朋友分享下，佢地都覺得當年既環境又新奇又刺激，我都好慶幸我老母唔係虎媽😂
作為香港人的我比較buy阿仔同老公嘅points…管得太嚴/過份保護對小朋友成長發展唔太好. 只要唔構成嚴重身體傷害，就俾小朋友跌踫中成長吧😊
Me2
我覺得人生始終有D 板要撞，就比小朋友細個個陣撞，佢入社會都會成熟D
不過都要睇件事幾嚴重，如果係有機會有生命危險/斷手斷腳之類，我就唔OK lo
我都比較認同Lawrence觀點，細路真係有危險當然要插手，但一啲少嘅challenge，會令小朋友更自信，唔會一有事就哎媽咪，唔識自己解決問題。其實大人只需要講解危害所在俾小朋友知，等佢哋去撞板去面對，對小朋友成長更好
今次嘅討論好有趣好有意義啊！我同我老公（生活多年在海外嘅日本人）雖同為東亞人，但對小朋友嘅教育理念都會有好大差別。佢就多數好放鬆好隨便，放手俾小朋友自己去試，培養獨立自由嘅性格。我就會緊張安全問題多啲，同埋都覺得小朋友想要好貼心嘅關懷同陪伴。
去小朋友屋企過夜，我非常有你的同感，不過你老公真是很專業的教育工作者，各方面都講得很有道理👍👍👍
My son used to go over to a kid's house for sleep over in US. I later on found out that one family members has mental illness, the older brother plays with lots of knife inside the house. I guess it's OK if there's a large group and you need to teach you kid not to wander around in people's house on their own.
好欣賞Noah有諗法🥰🥰🥰🥰雖然有大哥哥嘅模樣 但都係嗲Daddy嘅小朋友❤❤❤
What a great family conversation 💙💙
每次睇到你嘅video，睇到你一家人都好開心, 未睇之前首先俾個like你💕💕👍👍
哥哥Noah每次都好可愛，我7成熟😂😂我諗起牛扒🥩，Finfin每次講嘢都好可愛🥰
Gladys, you are a good mother ❤and both of your kids will be growing up maturely and happily just like you 👨👩👦👦!
我香港人，不過我價值觀比較接近爸爸和仔個邊，其實跌傷都係一個學習過程，當然你要小心睇住控制住後果的嚴重性，睇下你接受到幾嚴重的後果，跌傷和骨折我可以接受到，我細個都係甘周圍爬，宜家好健康成長，性格比較喜歡冒險，遇事都比一般人勇敢面對；另外遇到欺凌，我覺得家長要介入的部分係了解事情，和孩子探討解決方法，但就唔係代佢解決。
Gladys 講既野反映係好聰明既媽媽，明白和同理小孩，有些事情是不能發生，後悔莫及
This is not easy to balance the two different cultures, just try our best as parents. No right or wrong.
first,未睇先like❤
好好睇😁我揀D就同媽咪揀嘅一樣,尤其落斜坡,一路睇住佢彈住落,學你話齋,緊張多過enjoy 😅
Thanks for sharing. As an Asian mom, I'm just like you. However, I'm trying to be more like Laurence to put more trust in my kids to let them to explore and learn independently.
交流很棒👍🏻
雖然本身唔係家長, 但都識一啲女性朋友因為屋企人由細到大都太緊張太管束, (例如: 25+嘅歲數同朋友食飯食到9點幾10點, 都已經打電話催佢快啲返屋企, 而佢屋企位置並唔偏僻)
亦絕對唔可以喺出面Sleepover, 女性朋友屋企都唔得
搞到佢地年紀唔細都好蛇𠺌, 乜都唔敢自己試自己做, 同埋乜都要問人意見, 而且眼界好窄
太保護真係搞唔掂
我而家升中一。我應該喺小學3年級開始獨立，自己返學放學,同埋搭車。我覺得 獨立係要由細培養到大先得😊
Even though I am 19 already my dad still not allowing me to go sleepover,but the thing is I think I am old enough to take care myself.Really cannot understand what are the parents thinking or worrying,coz every time asking for permission will nearly 100% start an argue,as our stand point is totally different,just wish that I can control and decide more things when I grow older.
咁真係管得好嚴渦😅，學校camp比唔比啊😅
可以嘅話拍多啲片啦, 就算日常生活都好睇, 唔一定要主題, 當然你拍嘅主題片都好好睇
I wish I had learnt how to climb trees when I was young, it's true that it's survival technique.以前在香港不覺怎樣，但在外國郊區真的是有用的。
跌倒。我都係會俾小朋友自己起番身，但我會係身邊，等佢自己黎我度俾我驗傷同處理傷口，當然會抱抱，但我一定唔會反應過敏，自己表情仲驚過佢。
爬樹，可以。我係樹下睇實。其實70s, 80s長大既小朋友，瀡既滑梯成十尺高，又monkey bars又剩，地下仲係石屎，損手爛腳好平常，屋企一定有樽紅葯水，成班都無家長睇實落街玩，而家小朋友變得矜貴啫。
過馬路，10歲可以。10歲之前，我會教佢點過，有乜情況要注意，過之前，同過緊時要注意咩，而且要係斑馬線過。
Bully呢樣，我完全同意Lawrence.未必立即介入，但會完全聆聽小朋友同留意事態進展。同佢溝通，俾support佢。
Sleepover, 同Lawrence 意見一樣。
爸爸說得對😊
Sleep over party is a very normal thing in US here, but of course you have to know the family and the kids well enough first. I threw a lot of sleep over parties for my son when he was young.
🤗🤗
I have already walked to my school by myself since primery 2 (my home and my school have about 5 km
啊仔過夜驚自己做嫲嫲😂😂
細仔個樣似媽咪,大仔似爹哋😊
Lawrence 觀點好好多 咁先可以建立起家庭/完整人格 同埋學識解決問題方案唔會咁易面對新野就panic 將來發展會輕鬆d廣闊好多~ 睇你哋屋企教小朋友都舒服啦~ 小朋友&大人之間有幽默感玩學新野etc. 我近排見到大陸家人湊個三歲幾接近四歲的男仔 仲要奶奶餵食 依賴奶奶 扭計食其他野etc 成村人focus他一個。。我見到都眼冤 變咗湊都唔係識得自己玩自己獨立 樂趣真係少咗好多 養孫變咗大家的負擔。。
I’m Learning towards western way
👍
我觉得跟小孩的个性也有关，很独立的小朋友就放松些，性格敏感细腻的就需要多陪伴呵护，像多子家庭有时同样的管教方式也会出现截然不同的效果，感觉要先看小孩是什么个性再决定用什么方式管教比较合适吧
6:05 As an Asian high school student, I think that parents shouldn't interfere too much, e.g. panic / go blame the floor, but encourage the child to get back up themselves and check if they're really hurt. Both Gladys and Laurence are just opposites in this question, and I kinda took some out of each parent's opinion.
10:17 I agree with Laurence in the bullying situation. I have been bullied in school just a few months earlier, and I solved it myself with some tips from my mom. When children get older, they somehow would be bullied, some people are not aware of this. It is part of the developing process. If it has not caused the child a lot of harm, parents should let us deal with it ourselves but if the bullying is severe, i think a child would want their parents to stand up for them.
Well.. I still climb a tree in HK when I was young (my parents both 100% local)
據我所見所聞，很多香港父母，都會竭盡所能，為下一代提供最佳環境，希望贏在起跑線，搵最佳學校，課餘時也爭分奪秒，搵盡一切最殺食的課外活動，務求將來有較佳的升學條件，不惜一切，為兒女掃平一切障礙，小心謹慎，盡量避免受傷或染病，務求在最順利的情況下，為兒女謀取最佳學業成績和繼續升學的課外活動履歷，雖然他們也知道這樣有可能製造高分低能的港童，破壞其自主獨立的能力，不過香港情況特別，你不這樣做別人也會這樣做，為怕落後於人前，為勢所迫，留待他們大學畢業後才學自立吧。
OK as long as you don't plan to send them oversea for education because when the kid is too protected, there will be a deep gap once they arrived in a foreign land and will have a difficulty adjusting.
All depends on personality of your child. Some are soft need love. Some are "naughty " need learning from mistake
Agree with your option. And, consistency is important as well 🥰
其實你兩公婆都講得好有道理, 但我比較認同你老公所講, 因為你2個係仔仔要培養男子氣概, 獨立能力同擔當
假如係女都要啦
@@TY-pb8xwyea 係女都要 同埋要先過男仔教她性知識
中英文字幕，係咪Gladys自己整？
我覺得除咗文法之外，仲同大環境有關。舉個例，我生活喺台灣，行人地獄，啲車完全唔會讓行人，仲會同你鬥快，係咁嘅環境好難俾小朋友放手自己行。但外國就唔同，基本上車一定要讓行人，另外條路都大條啲。
不過我自己都覺得Asian parents 普遍的「規矩」執着啲，同成個社會文化都有關
I guess if you want to be your child’s friend instead of parent, you need to put more trust and let them explore. Unless it will be a real danger activity, otherwise we should be supportive to their decision and guide them how to protect themself at the same time
Despite noah being an older brother but he can be an adult.
大家都知道失敗乃成功之母這句名言，明白從錯誤中學習成長的道理。
不過香港學校充滿競爭氣氛，考試答錯一條題目可以失去很多分數，就算少一分也可能令到名次跌幾位甚致十幾位；平時很多家長每夜也會為子女check家課，避免老師打交叉；由細到大，學生早已習慣盡量避免出錯。其實我自己也是這樣成長的。
其实没有所谓的文化差异仅有您俩家庭给予孩子什么样的基因和各种成长因素带来的影响。
其主要都是看孩子小时候遇到过什么事情而造成孩子长大后怎样面对这个陌生社会所带来的冲击。
这一切需要等到幸运与不幸的事情发生过后才能准确地判断父母当时的选择😅其实没有对错之分。
但千万不要学心理研究那样尝试把它一次又一次地击倒然后告诉它要坚强因为还有很多次的失败等着你😅唯一的成功需要等时间的按钮。
1. 依家越來越少家長會咁樣，通常都係老一輩，除非真係好細個 10 個月企唔穩會坎到頭
2. 外國亂過馬路可能得，香港唔得，條條街都好多車而且路窄，想閃避係難好多
3. 香港絕對無可能爬樹，香港就算係公園，都好多唔夠位生根，盤根位唔夠，好容易倒塌，同埋用好多殺蟲劑除草劑之類，都令樹木生長得冇咁好。更莫論好多公園管理上係唔允許爬樹
4. 有時候家長介入可能會有反效果，香港欺凌比較多係小動作同排擠，家長介入可能會排擠得仲勁，搞到生人勿近，不過寧願介入總好過袖手傍觀。
5. Sleepover 香港難呢，自己都唔夠地方訓同玩，跑跑跳跳嘅空間有限，玩得唔盡興。不過聽好多多外國係 sleepover 嗰陣出事...
我細細個喺香港成日父母睇唔到出去街爬樹😂
雖然我沒有小孩，但是小孩跌倒我會怎麼處理呢？我的答案是綠牌子，這就好比大人跟小孩說：「你不要玩火」，可是我們所處在的環境常會有火，小孩也經常會看到火，正常來說我們一定會教導我們的小孩不要碰火，火很危險，但是小孩並不一定記在心裡，直到他真的碰了火，知道了火有多可怕時，才會記在心裡，才會知道一定要遠離火，同樣的道理，我們先學會了跌倒，才會知道如何保護自己，在哪個地方跌倒要用什麼方式保護自己，或者是遠離那樣的環境避免自己跌倒；第二題小孩在我前面要過馬路時，我舉紅牌子，在我還是NOAH的年紀時，我唸書的學校離家只有5分鐘的路，我媽媽讓我自己上下學，當時我不會過馬路，所以走路回家時看都沒有看就像前衝，結果車子衝過來我嚇的跌坐在地上，我的舉動也嚇壞了司機，雖然雙方都沒有事，但雙方都嚇壞了，過馬路這件事有立即性的危險，跌倒和爬樹都是可預期的，你自己可以選擇走平坦的路避免跌倒，爬樹你也可以選擇你不要爬，但過馬路是不可預期的，有太多無法自己控制的因素，你去的目的可能交通號誌壞了、司機喝了酒，或者司機沒有定期保養車子……，所以過馬路這件事一定舉紅牌，爬樹這件事我認同爸爸的觀點，爬樹可以訓練小孩的判斷反應能力，小孩被覇凌的部分我舉紅圈，但是要像爸爸一樣問清楚原因是否是「持續性」的、「惡意」的，我想小孩子一開始一定很直接的「面對」，一定會先用他們的語言或肢體先表達了互相的情緒，如果已經明顯到小孩性格都變了，本來很開朗的變得不說話，本來很愛笑的變的很火爆，那麼一定是事情一發不可收拾的狀況了，家長和學校老師就一定要介入了。過夜這件事，我會視長期還是1天、2天來訂定，長期是紅牌，1~2天是綠牌，但一定是要對方家長我也信任的過，並且也被對方允許或主動邀請的狀況下才可以，如果小孩未來的對象是外國人，我不會阻止，因為那是小孩的人生，這個主題很有趣，我感覺NOAH也是個很獨立自主的小孩，與你們分享😃
既然定義為「文化差異」，就可能沒有對錯之分了吧，都是文化使然
Reynold‘s Family 🇭🇰🇬🇧 🫶🏻👍🙏🏼I wonder how nervous you’d be when you had a daughter 😂😂
Not quite agree staying with others' house too often. Coz u can spend time with friends next time. Staying others' house more often needs to gain hugh trust since some people face danger if friends' family members, friend or guests could be dangerous too. Human is complicate even family and friends in some of your life time.
對於小朋友跌倒喊,要他們自己站起來,我有些保留…我有試過看到一個四五歲的小朋友在街上不慎跌倒，痛得爬不起來，父母在後面不遠處只是一直叫他自己跌倒自己站起來。我在離小朋友較近的地方，於是我跑過去把他扶起，看見他臉都是血，原來他臉着地，整塊皮都擦掉了，我看到都覺得痛。他父母看到小朋友整張臉都是血，才跑過來查看。
陌生人在路上看到小朋友老人跌倒都會上前看看要不要幫忙，為什麼自己小孩跌倒反而要就手旁觀呢!
我接近90，我呀媽都唔管我，幼稚園前可以sleepover,但小學後就冇試過。
我諗幼稚園後其實唔完全係kid,已經可以做好多有危險性質既行為。
打爛邊個啲咩都唔好。
根本呢個世界要一些人咁樣, 又要另一些人那樣,
你地咁既組合, 又會製造出另一樣
😁🤣🤩😍😍😍
When my brother in law (BIL) at the age of 17 arrived in a small town in US 40+ years ago, he was bullied at school and so he went home to tell his dad. Dad told him to in take care of it himself because he knew limited English. BIL went to school and he was bullied again, he knocked the bully, a white boy between his eye balls when he was least prepared and the bullying stopped. BIL was glad that he learned kung fu when he was a kid, he said he was really not great in kung fu, he just took his chance and it worked out. I believe a boy needs to learn self defense, be as physical as possible for self protection and self confidence. My son is an Eagle scout and Taekwondo black belt and a software engineer. Training your kid to be independent opens up a lot of doors, don't be too protective but at the same time you need to be careful to not subject them to risks. I don't believe in the white people's way of letting the kid do whatever they want too early. I forever believe in the Chinese mom's protective instinct with a little modification. Now my grand kids are multiracial, my daughter is ABC, she is extremely protective of her kids just like me, it's not a cultural difference, it's just mother's instinct. Glady's is 100% right, no need to change. My husband and myself have different philosophy in terms of raising kids and sometimes it's better that way.
on hongkong street is danger, in wild in uk , more space la
女主咁似菲律賓人嘅😂
你老公公係咪聽得明廣東話？😊
應該吾不識
應該聽得明，唔係好識講
唔好太高嘅樹就得
咁高咁危險 關於條命我一定唔會退讓 個仔我生既 有咩事點算 如果係唔危及生命都還可以
your questions is towards all type of children, but in reality, children characters are all different, some children need to be protected, some not. Same as dog, some dogs are calm, some are crazy, so different walk to your dog then
breaking arms and legs among kids is actually quite often, just take the kids to the hospital and most of them will heal pretty quickly la hahahaha
有冇人講過，Noah 好似嫲嫲？
👎🏻👎🏻
五年級可以自己返學啦⋯⋯
我小學三四年班開始自己返學😂不過屋企同學校好近 行2,3個字
我諗我就係你講中嘅被母親過份擔心，乜嘢都唔比試，長大後很多事情都無膽量去前行一步。
我唔中意太婦人之人的想法 因為對職場發展上毫無幫助及建樹 除非培養仔女做住家人 一世靠屋企/另一半 唔洗他/她出來面對生活
看得我好气。。。你这孩子出来直接妈宝好吧 我还以为是正常范围的关心 你这就被害妄想症。。。
媽媽口音都唔係好香港，sh水，sh處, 好似唔係分得好清楚啲sh音😮雖然內容同剪接都幾有趣，但有時聽得好辛苦😅
片尾講到就算18歲或大人都當小朋友看待，
緊乜野張，自己未又係大學，書都未讀完就去生仔，哂氣😂
企響父母立場佢無錯 如果佢仔仔一樣係咁，佢哋都會接受，都一樣愛錫自己小朋友
我地唔應該只關注佢地嘅過去錯誤，而係應該尊重同欣賞佢哋的現在和未來。人人都有過去，但最重要嘅係佢哋從中學到啲咩，並且用這些經驗，成長同改善自己的生活，我亦相信過程一啲都唔容易。七年後佢哋擁有幸福嘅家庭，本身就係一個值得欣賞和尊重的成就。
尊重他人嘅過去同選擇都係好重要。我覺得育兒方式因人而異，沒有對錯。我哋應該尊重其他人，而唔係批評或詆毀他人的選擇:)
Just relax😄😼
早同遲組織家庭都無錯
但唔係個個早組織家庭都會成功
佢既成長背景唔差，佢會咁做
佢小朋友都有可能會，所以無得好擔心
擔心黎多餘
我囝囝小學時讀男校，每年開學時校長會分級開家會。在4年級時，校長特別指出，這年紀的小男孩開始對性好奇，因此提醒媽咪們衣著要謹慎，不要太暴露，尤其在家裏。此話我覺得非有道理。
知道衣著喜好是很個人和自由，而且生活在英國低胸衫也是很普遍。但始終，過份低胸的衣服少著為妙（純粹個人分享，絕對不是針對，忠言逆耳，請見諒）
@@agneschoi8536 如果家長對性避忌，衣着暴露唔係主因，出街或朋輩大把有得睇，主要係有冇教佢正確觀念
我覺得媽媽應該講英文，不要老是ㄧ直講港語，才能增加頻道的流量