Gaslighting by Proxy (flying monkeys, triangulation, drama triangle)

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  • Опубликовано: 4 дек 2024
  • Gaslighting can be verbal or behavioral. The gaslighter often recruits third parties to do his/her bidding: flying monkeys, partners in triangulation, and a rescuer/savior in Karpman's drama triangle.
    WATCH How 2 Types of Gaslighting Affect You • How 2 Types of Gasligh...
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Комментарии • 35

  • @TT-kd2si
    @TT-kd2si 8 месяцев назад +8

    This is brilliant having lived through this you have no idea how incredible it feels to have sense put on the nonsense I’ve lived through
    Thankyou Sam ❤

  • @dedricklane4899
    @dedricklane4899 8 месяцев назад +58

    Professor I just had to tell my favorite Aunt to never call or text me again because this was the last time she was going to tell me my crazy mom and sister “ didn’t mean what they said”.. they told me my fathers death from a 4 year fight with cancer was actually my fault…

    • @melt2947
      @melt2947 8 месяцев назад +9

      ❤❤❤

    • @kingagrad3436
      @kingagrad3436 8 месяцев назад +13

      *hugs* from Poland. Don't let it get into you. You don't have to believe them. I believe in you

    • @dedricklane4899
      @dedricklane4899 8 месяцев назад +2

      @@kingagrad3436 thank you so much that actually means a lot

    • @rightthewrong6050
      @rightthewrong6050 8 месяцев назад +3

      Omg! No! That was not your fault. Wow! Don’t worry… They’ll have to answer for that one of these days. Thou shalt not bear false witness! I’m sorry You had to go through that. If they didn’t mean it… They shouldn’t have said it. ♥️♥️♥️

  • @annagreif639
    @annagreif639 8 месяцев назад +15

    Дорогой Профессор! Вы просто великолепны. Очень полезная информация

  • @Aisha_babii
    @Aisha_babii 8 месяцев назад +30

    My mother triangulates me and my two siblings and when she’s upset with siblings A, she’ll send her flying monkeys (sibling B and C) to do her dirty work to manipulate, guilt and gaslight

  • @JackMao2
    @JackMao2 8 месяцев назад +28

    Professor could you make more videos about emotional covert incest please?

  • @angiespiva5304
    @angiespiva5304 8 месяцев назад +26

    Sam, in my example I had a new boyfriend that his ex texted him after a few months of them being broke up and the next thing I know our whole relationship for the next eight months he was talking to her and keeping her secret. He told me that she didn’t mean anything, and that I was too jealous and that some things were not my business and that I was too jealous, and not going to control who his friends were and after we argued, he told me to get the hell out, so yeah I see this..
    Secrets annihilate a relationship .

    • @christinerobertson9596
      @christinerobertson9596 8 месяцев назад +1

      same exact thing happened to my daughter. Luckily they broke up.

    • @LetsGoforDabash
      @LetsGoforDabash 8 месяцев назад +3

      Oh the typical " U r jealous, insecure, possesive, controlling " gaslighting 🤔
      No suprise!

  • @PennyroyalTea-q1y
    @PennyroyalTea-q1y 8 месяцев назад +17

    Sam could you make more videos about bipolar

  • @mikesmith6594
    @mikesmith6594 8 месяцев назад +13

    Getting gaslit , constantly mislead , constantly lied too , walked allover , treated like a pushover and doormat , is all the reason why I am severely depressed , isolated , have social anxiety , difficulties interacting , or trusting people , feel suicidal because all of this betrayal in my life 😢.My father claims he cares but he really just wants control over my life , my sister literally hates my guts , I'm constantly walking on eggshells around these kinda people , feel worthless and invisible . It's like a never ending hell ! Gaslighting has done nothing but hurt me .

    • @TT-kd2si
      @TT-kd2si 8 месяцев назад +7

      I can relate Mike but I need you to know that there is a bigger picture to this you see the fact that your able to see it all now from a new perspective shows me that you’ve lived through this so you could be set free from it all and start again if this wasn’t true then you’d still be stuck where you were
      You’ve been shaped by this not destroyed ❤

    • @zazu3006
      @zazu3006 8 месяцев назад

      it’s not about you!! that’s the sick trick, they horrifying reality. Manipulating and hurting others for their own moment of success, relief and ego boost. and if it takes hurting you? they do not give it any thoughts, in fact, it’s only about knowing what will hurt you, so it’s easy to get.
      parents raised me to think that
      gaslighting, dismissive, hurtful behaviour is normal.. only 2 months ago i finally understood
      and it was a true Eureka moment! ⭐️ years, months trying to think how can someone be this nasty, a mother on top. i was being understanding, working out that maybe something caused this or that. no. no excuses, no more broken heart for me from my parents, they are empty shells filled with black goo and never gave a fuck if i’m hurt, so…
      that’s the secret
      it’s not about me. i got hurt because
      they could. badam tsss
      what they say or do has nothing to do with you value, enjoy the rest of your life and don’t be hurt by your fam. just show them how much it doesn’t bother you how they think. they will be angry/ impressed/ confused/ try harder/ appreciate you.
      power is all they understand

  • @wintergoddess8210
    @wintergoddess8210 8 месяцев назад

    Thank you 😊

  • @staliapoulard1539
    @staliapoulard1539 8 месяцев назад +10

    At what age would a failed narcissist become a borderline ?

  • @chrishintz1077
    @chrishintz1077 8 месяцев назад +6

    Perhaps epitomized by the infamous expression “alternate facts”.

  • @suzystone244
    @suzystone244 8 месяцев назад +11

    Whenever I hear of Flying Monkeys.
    I think of OZ.
    The wonderful land of bad relationships.

  • @heredith
    @heredith 8 месяцев назад +7

    my brother a long time gaslig hted me by behaving so neutral. in real he cared to minimize my heritage, helped my ex to hide money and helped to turn my oldest daughter against me. he was a very busy flying monkey.

    • @heredith
      @heredith 8 месяцев назад

      @@ec1222 thank you for answering! yes, and he had a style, that made me trust him. be careful!

  • @damiandamian3417
    @damiandamian3417 8 месяцев назад +2

    Do emotions affect energy levels throughout the day and productivity? How does this apply to people with personality disorders? Negative emotions take time? Do you feel more sleepy because of them? How does it manifest?

    • @zazu3006
      @zazu3006 8 месяцев назад

      yes. from every angle. brain occupied by negative doesn’t have capacity to function in a productive way, self regulate and create happy motivation. also from vibrational point- love vibrates in different frequency

  • @Josh-zn7bx
    @Josh-zn7bx 8 месяцев назад +3

    So if i employ a lot of empathy yet i still have zero identity and not much self love im more likely bpd and not npd?

  • @artmkrtch122
    @artmkrtch122 8 месяцев назад +2

    ‘Have fun’ LOL

  • @SachiDan-b8c
    @SachiDan-b8c 8 месяцев назад +1

    I wish i could tell my story to professor sam. I'm fully confused with my emotions and what has happened to me.I watched previous videos try to figure out he was a narcissist, lot of them matched yet i doubt because whole my relationship i just try ti justify him even though he treated me badly.

    • @tonyc7689
      @tonyc7689 8 месяцев назад +2

      If you're being treated badly in any way : emotional, physical or spiritual then your needs aren't being met .

    • @SachiDan-b8c
      @SachiDan-b8c 8 месяцев назад

      @@tonyc7689 appreciate your comment. 😊

    • @zazu3006
      @zazu3006 8 месяцев назад

      @@SachiDan-b8cand i’ve just!! recently realised that i wanted to be loving and understanding etc,
      no. excusing nasty behaviour is like making yourself available for more.. i was devastated last year, but it’s nothing but power play to a narcissist

  • @sheerkatdotcom
    @sheerkatdotcom 8 месяцев назад +2

    Is there an age where its too late to prevent the npd taking over , for example is the teen-age past the age to have a turn around with the right support and environment

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  8 месяцев назад +6

      12-14 years old. Same applies to BPD.