It’s been almost a year. Coach helped me get through a lot! I used to watch his videos multiple times a day lol. Thankfully I hardly watch anymore! She found out I was dating (casually) someone else. Dm’d this new girl on social and asked how she knew me. Shortly after that I received a text from my ex telling me how much she loved me and that she was going to move forward. Mind you she left me, I pleaded for a bit, messed up no contact multiple times. I eventually completely let go though. I still think about her very often but the anxiety is completely gone. Pain hurts less. Her reaching out kind of messed with me a bit, I felt that anxiety come back a bit. If you’re reading this hang in there! Listen to coach. If they left you, they’re betting that they can do better without you. Let them!
It’s the same with me. It’s been 6+ months and I’ve finally gotten to that place of peace and moving on. I click on these videos only if they show up in my feed. Coach has helped me out a lot. I pray my ex doesn’t reach out. I hope she finds love because I found myself while in NC.
You did the right thing. The anxiety still existed because you wholeheartedly cared. It's her lost, move forward. I'm praying for you. You got this❗️💪🏾
@@nanathous thanks for that reply! I needed to hear that today. As someone who tries their best to put their ego aside, it hurts seeing someone who you still care about be so selfish and egotistical. Bummer for sure. Thank you!
One month today, it's still very hard, but I can actually feel myself feeling different about the no contact.. meaning I think it is getting easier, it's like I'm missing him sooo much but I'm getting to the point where I don't feel he would ever come back or call me. So a part of me is letting go. It's hard to explain unless somebody out there feels the same and they understand😢
@@Ms.T2024I get it completely, going on 2 months of no contact, he ended the relationship, I'm pretty much I'm at the point that I'm glad he did, bc I never had the strength too... Im definitely ok and better off...
Over 2 months no contact so far. If he's highly narcissistic, you're better off forgetting them and moving on. It takes years for a narcissistic person to change and learn.
@SonyaWill2012 I miss mines, I let him know,... he did text bk but didn't Acknowledge what I said and asked about something else, I called once and he didn't respond, I waited one wk to see if he'll say happy Birthday, and he didn't. So I went into NC...... now I'm at that point like I was saying of missing him but getting stronger without him..! And I'm glad you are also, especially if that's what you wanted...we gonna be ok. Oh and he's very stubborn (Avoident)
@@Ms.T2024 I definitely think a person gets stronger when they actually come to the reality of a situation, WE definitely got this💪🏾 and my ex is an avoidant too, I truly understand...
Do a favour to yourself guys, don't chase, nor accept her again. She is the one who will always need validation from outside world and a week of your bad's she is again gone. It not about pleasing her all the time over your self respect. So save yourself some time, go on dates and u will surely know dis time whom to choose. Smiles !!😊
My ex left Aug. 4th 2024, we were together for almost 5 yrs with 3 yr old twins, I did no contact for 2 weeks now she begging to comeback, I stay in North Carolina and she took my kids to New Jersey where her parents live no contact really works, thanks coach.
I’m in a very similar situation please advise me how do no contact successfully when younger children are involved. I was reaching out to my ex when it was pertaining to our son but now I do not I wait until he does
@@NinaSanders-pj2hd I'm def not coach Blac level but if you don't talk to them about y'all's children, he will eventually reach out and start by asking how the kids are. I'd say NC
2 months after my breakup and mostly I did NC but wish I did fully, still haven't heard from her and don't care now. Now I see how shitty she was, alcoholic, cheated on me 3 times. She even got a 2nd DWI 1 month after we broke up. I'm ashamed of myself for putting up with it for so long. I deserve better and I see it now. Love the videos and see the clarity after watching these vids. You all will get better, it hurts now but just wait 🙂
No contact for 3 months. She has set her Instagram from private to public, public to private and that 3x for the weekend (her birthday and an event). Saw she put stories in highlights and watched them after 48 h. Maybe the last one was within the 48h because it went to private again. I’ve put mine on private as well now, but she won’t be able to watch my stories or reach out. No hope here and moving on, because for some it may work (it works for yourself) but honestly I would be happier with breakups where they leave you with respect and not cold turkey. I do not believe she is coming back. There is no breadcrumbing or signs. Nothing at all. I’ve worked on myself and quite happy now but rather feeling lonely though
Im really struggling with no contact at the moment, theres so many things about my life atm I want to share with her but shes been spinning every word i say into a negative before no contact even when I was saying clearly positive things, 13 days no contact and this is by far the hardest day.
My ex dumped me, but we work together and he now avoids me by all means at work and I like it that way, I didn't beg to be together when he ended it I was basically like, "ok, God Bless" I wasn't being treated properly anyway... But he's watched my stories then I blocked him from my social media🤷🏾♀️ baby good riddens...
I haven't talked to my ex since we broke up and that was just over a year ago. Her mother still contacts me to check up on me time to time. No contact was tough when she asked for a break during the relationship but once we broke up, it was tough but being mentally strong has always been my greatest strength.
I begged him to come back. He’s hurt and moving on. I went no contact in July and he reached out in September but doesn’t want to reconcile. I went back to no contact for my peace and sanity because I still want to be with him. Staying in no contact. I don’t see us getting back together. He claims he is moving out of the state in order to start over. He claims he doesn’t go back to exes.
Today I get the news that my ex of 3yrs just pop out on social media with a new boyfriend after being in no contact for 4 months. It’s crazy because she was the same one saying she needed space to work on herself and everything but whole time it was all bs. I’ve took her to Disney world 2x last year, seen Drake 2x and done plenty of unique things during that period. We’re only 22yrs old now and I provided an experience that most married couples never live to see. I was disappointed that she sold me a dream and led me on just to monkey branch to another man that quick. (I was her first good man she ever dated just to be torture and disrespected in return)
Now you’ve learned their true nature. Provide experiences, don’t provide experiences, doesn’t matter either way. They come, and they go. Might be 1 year, might be 20 years. Their emotions rule them, and they have no concept of relationship equity as a man does. So no matter how much time, energy and effort you have put in (and her too), they can leave on a whim, with no prior warning. I’m mid 30’s, so I’ve been through this with them countless times over the years. Been engaged, had a kid with one of them, been in 5 year ones, 3 year, 1.5 year, etc. No major issues like I was cheating or anything. But they always monkey branched. I thought it was maybe the type of woman I was attracting, but I started improving myself getting up to figures, starting a business, getting in shape, and really started vetting these women, but nothing mattered. Always the same outcome. Make sure you learn this lesson at your age, and never take em serious, cuz you will get blindside monkey branched on, and if you put your trust and emotional investment into them, it will rip your heart out time and time again. They cannot be satisfied, and they get bored easily over time. Familiarity breeds contempt for them much more intensely than it does for men. It’s a symptom of our modern era and hypergamy being allowed to be out in the open by society now. So there is not much to be done, just have a rotation and work on your own self improvement. EDIT: hey bigdawg7478, not sure if you will see this, I tried answering you but it keeps getting deleted by RUclips. They don’t want this info out there haha. So I’ll try to edit my original comment. Most of the time they will leave, nothing you did wrong, I’ve been where you are many times. Been with many different women from all walks of life. Don’t beat yourself up. Just have a bunch of women you are always dating and try not to commit until she is begging you to. They are fickle creatures and if their emotions change they will just leave. It’s like the weather, can’t be predicted. If you find a needle in the hay stack unicorn, then good for you. If she’s been with more than a couple men, don’t bother for marriage. Don’t even sign the contract ever actually.
@@bigdawg7478 In my experience, which is extensive, I’ve had many women for casual, and many for relationships, they will always get bored or lose attraction no matter what you do. Especially in this era! I’m sure there are some cases with certain women where they stay til old age, I know of some, but that is rare and harder to find. Also those ones will wear you down and make you submit to them, which is a no no as a man. Even if they stay, they will cheat or emotionally cheat, which as you know is emasculating and defeats the purpose of having a woman as “yours”, hence the saying she’s not yours it’s just your turn. So nowadays you will be hard pressed to find one that will stay. If you find that unicorn that doesn’t leave and that always follows your lead and defers to you as the man, the leader in the relationship, and she doesn’t cheat, then good for you. But good luck on that, especially in the west, and especially if she is college educated. They are poisoned by toxic anti make and anti traditional gender role ideologies. Just think about it, if she didn’t stay with her first or second man, she now has a pattern of leaving, since almost all relationships are ended by women. She now has more difficulty pair bonding due to multiple partners, and will blame the feelings being gone on you, and find flaws in you and entertain the many suitors that are always pursuing women. She will monkey branch and repeat the process ad infinitum. I have learned the hard way over 20 years of this shit dealing with women. I have found women from the country who only had one linen term relationship before me and one body, and she still monkey branched out of nowhere. You cannot satisfy these women bro. So the odds are just stacked against you, unless you want to get cheated on and accept it. I have had so many women who were married or in relationship come to me to get piped out, that I realized they ain’t loyal. So don’t beat yourself up, just have many women you are dealing with, and never get emotionally involved where you think she may not leave you, and that she is committed. Just tell her you want to take things slow, and don’t commit. She’ll have you meeting her family and friends and investing all this time, only to be left out of the blue for another man, who she will leave him eventually too lol. Even if some marriages make, like less than half, how many of those do you think are healthy, functioning relationships where the man is in charge and gets sex on the regular and she is still attracted. It’s rare bro. So take it from me, a man who has had women from all over the country and internationally, of many age ranges, and they come and go. It’s sad and is what it is, but adapt and try not to get hurt anymore if you can. I know easier said than done, cuz they are seductive and feel you in. A marriage is like a funeral for the man. Have kids but don’t sign a contract. My two cents
Thank you for the end of the video, explain clearly what a masculine and feminine person best to do in certain situations ❤ ps that colors look so good on you!
@blacademic Thank you! I love your videos! My ex broke no contact after two months and definitely tested. Even though I was passing his tests, he canceled a date he made and then pulled away. I haven’t heard from him in five weeks. Is that typical? I was hoping things would continue to progress
I split up with my ex after a fight 2 months ago and we thought about getting back together. Even though she did want to get back together she decided not to since she says we need time apart and It's fine. Pretty sure she's trying to move on and I should do the same, pain is temporary, when one door closes another one will open, starting to kinda look that way and accepting what happened and letting past go.
I have been separated for 10 months now I have kids with my ex. Of 20 years,during the week it’s no contact weekends are a bit different due to our kids Today she texted me telling me that she might move 2 1/2 hours away She did tell me that I can move there as well and that her brother would get me a job. Also she said for our girls you have to follow I didn’t answer her when she said for your girls you have to follow. One thing is that my kiddos are still small . What do I do in this case Please help me
Are there ever situations where they are in the curiosity or texting phase for months? My ex bf has been watching my stories off and on for the past few months, typically every couple of weeks but he'll also watch if I post something that's bigger news like that i was moving and what part of town I'm in now, that I joined the gym he used to go to, etc. My gut feeling is that he is trying to get me to contact him but he's never done anything direct like texting me or even reacting on a story. Do you just continue no contact and give up at that point or do you reach out to them if it continues for that long?
this is a reupload. same topic and idea, but I recorded the video twice, this is a slightly shorter version. So not exactly the same but very close. Most new subscribers probably haven't heard it though. But thanks for watching!
Hey good morning man your videos are really helping me get through some hard times I was in a 20 year relationship just ended out of nowhere about three months ago. My partner walked out on both me and our daughter refuses to take her belongings and return the keys to our home what should I do and she’s just like a different person even our daughter says it Also, I believe she’s already in another relationship. I think that may be the reason for the break up.
You think?? Follow your gut. She's moved on. Stay respectful and see it for what it is. You can do it. Pray and get into yourself. Change the locks, pack her things, and ask her to pick them up, or it will be put on the curb for the next trash day. Watch how fast she moves . If she doesn't come pick up her things, she's definitely has moved on, and you should do the same.
After 8 months of NC he contact me..and I made a HUGE mistake, I took him back quickly, actually I took him back same day he contact me 😢. He said that he thought about me all this time that he never stopped loving me ..I said “me too” what an absolute idiot I am!!! After 2 months of messaging he was acting strangely (hot-cold). I stupidly suggested(many times) to meet up (he lives bit far from me), to go somewhere…and then he said that he feels pressured 🙈 and broke up with me AGAIN! I said oke, but you will regret it…NEXT DAY he answered me “I already do” wtf??? I didn’t respond to this …And then blocked me after 2 months even I didn’t contact him ..I don’t understand…I’m lost …help…please…any thoughts or advice?😢
hat i shouldn’t beg, her bestfriend always giving her these thoughts that she needs to break up with me coz the same thing will happen etc, since my gf is always at her bestfriend place, she kinda feel bad if she comes back to me, her bestfriend won’t talk to her anymore thats what her bestfriend said. on sept 29 we decided to talk in person and do a proper closure even tho i didn’t want to. now i am her all alone at out place, her stuff things are still here she told me she would come at get them little by little, i can’t sleep i can’t eat even tho my stomach feels hungry, whenever i close my eyes i see her, when i go to bathroom kitchen i see her. every angle of in my house reminds me of her. im so depressed, people always told me , you need to go out do stuff etc but its not that easy when we just broke up. idk maybe i should change place coz me and my gf got this small apartment for us. i prepared everything for our 3rd anniversary on october 4. even bought the engagement ring and she knows i bought them. everything is falling apart im so depresssed 😢
So it's been 2 months. I've practiced no contact. Thing is im pregnant with his child. He's starting to come back around now but it's as if he's hung up over our past. It's as if our conversation goes nowhere so I keep it short. I'm not chasing him but I'm open to having a conversation with him on the phone or meeting to talk. What should I do ? I'm not ready for him to come back around and not be consistent
I broke up with him because he only sees me once in two or three weeks. And if i ask for more he thinks im trying to control him... I love him and want him but it hurts so much when he doesn't choose to be with me. I apologize for the controlling and said i made a mistake but I do know if he eants me back. Going no contact now.
I am so happy for those ppl who get to marry and have kids with the love of their lives. It has been almost six years since she left, No contact at all during that period. I’ve been with many women, and I haven’t been able to feel anything for any of those women, That’s what I am afraid of. Generally, we fall in love once in our lifetime if something goes wrong, We spend our life trying to find someone who can make us feel at least a little bit of how we felt with that person. Unfortunately, that never happens. Can anyone please tell me how I can forget the love of my life, How can I marry or have kids with someone else knowing that I am still in love with her? That is a pain that I don’t wish for anybody, and I pray to god that none of you reading my comments goes through that.
Have the same problem. Togehter 7 years, he broke up over 2 years ago but i cant forget him. I date other men but it is like i dont really care about them. I feel bored with them and feel like cheating. Tells me that my heart is full of love for him even if he does not care anymore....
@@Ivy89261 Sorry to hear that, As I mentioned, I am terrified of expanding my life, incapable of having a meaningful relationship with someone else just because I can’t get over someone who doesn’t even care. I hope you figure it out soon
What happens if he left….. He ghosted me for 26 days no words…. No Hi or hello. There was no fight or quarrel b4 now. I reached out to his mum to know what went wrong as he wasn't responding to me. 2 hours after I spoke with the mum, he messaged me ‘“l need you to move on” I asked if I did something wrong he said no, he couldn't just continue. That's how my 3years relationship disappeared b4 my eyes
Does no contact work if a couple breaks up because one person moved to another state to be with their sibling? Especially if you’ve communicated in the past during the relationship that you would like to move out of your small town someday too. How might that work in relation to no contact?
I’ve been in no contact for 4 months now but my ex text me in a pattern she does it every 2 to 3 weeks last Sunday she text me to tell my daughter happy birthday I told her she can tell my daughter her self but she said she didn’t wanna mess anything up she also owes me $600 which she’s been owning me for 7 months now she always tellin me to take care of myself and telling me I don’t know how I feel about her. When we first got together I gave her a Xmas gift it was a gold chain and pendent and she never gave it back but I’m wondering if she is holding on to it cause she knows she’s coming back someone please tell me what kind of behavior is this
Very similar to my situation; she left after living with me for eight months, in my home. When she left, she refused to pay me the $600 she owed me. Had to threaten to take her to small claims court, in order to get paid. Oh, she wanted the expensive rings I had given her. Thankfully, I snatched those back before she could take them. She often left her engagement ring off, always when with “friends” over weekends away. Friends I never met. Likely, another guy or guys. My advice to you is to set the bar very high, should you take them back.
Her not giving the necklace and pendant only means that she likes the way it makes her look when she wears it. Believe me, women always like to leave with the gold and diamonds. It is not about you, nor her feelings for you. Sorry.
Okay, so what you're saying is that when I contacted my ex after two months of no contact with a simple "I'm in the neighborhood and thought about you' ten-second message left on his phone but then he blocked me (but not everywhere so I could still contact him if I wanted to) when all he really had to do was simply not answer the phone, he was really testing me to see how I would behave after that?
Does all this work on someone who I only went out with for a few months? And who’s adamant they now don’t want a relationship? Been on and off since he broke it off about a month ago and he always misses me etc but still won’t budge with his decision? 😫
What if I was the issue and lost her trust as a protector and a father figure and we’ve been currently separated it’s fresh like a week we had a conversation about my actions on Sunday and she’s putting her foot down instead of giving in to letting me in right away. Waitied till Tuesday to ask if we can talk and she didn’t want to didn’t have contact and Friday comes around I just sent I love you and the kids and miss you and them dearly nothing back we were suppose to dress up for Halloween with the kids now I’m thinking it’s not going to happen with me I’m sure the kids are asking for me cause they are super attached to me as much as I would love to message her somthing small like Ilhet throwing it out there if you would like to still get dressed with the kids and take pictures I’m sure they would love that.. but I should just still have no contact and let her let it soak in ? and she’s going through a divorce that’s been still happening but have been separated from him for 3 years we’ve been together for two and she’s saw somthing in me to bring me into her 4 children’s lives
coach black need your help pls tell me what to do she brokeup with me on 9 sep i am in canada from last dec and she is in india. she gave me the reason thats its long distance this isnt gonna work. On our last call she admitted that everything is good from my side she is the one who fucked up. Our relation will turn 2 years very soon. Its been more than 2 weeks and oct 3 is my birthday. Do you think she gonna wish me . She didnt unfollow me and watch my stories every day and likes my post. pls tell me what to do im so confused😢.
Why my ex has a gf and baby now and we been broken up for 6 years now was high school sweetheart but he won’t stop watching what I’m doing him and his brother watches my ig account and we actually met up atfer so many years and he basically was saying he miss me but it was crazy cause he sawed me the day atfer my birthday and I just finished school so I wonder why he wanted to see me all of sudden now
@blacademic she sent multiple messages with mixed signals, sending pics of her cat and asking about our animals, i told her no im sorry, you didnt want me in your life anymore.
Its been 2 months since my breakup We don't talk to each other at all I have applied no contact rule My ex birthday is coming up Should I wish him on his birthday or not?
Dated 5.5 years and just hit 3 months of no contact… she texted me last week accusing me of doing something ridiculous and that I would never do… I didn’t reply because it felt like she would call me a liar no matter what I said and that she was looking for a fight… was this the right decision?
@@lambypigs did you ever hear from her afterwards? While Im pretty confident that it was the right thing… I still just have slight doubts/worries that she was testing to see if I would even respond (with an excuse that kept her guard up) and since I didn’t she won’t try again
@@Rraide3r she called me a month later , she's blocked so it didn't come thru . Haven't heard from her since and I'm fine with it, once i detach you're DONE
My ex broke up with me after 14 year relationship. Determined myself to go into no contact. But every 2-3 days she messages me. I always reply but keep it short and emotionless. But she keeps reaching out to me. Am i doing something wrong? Should i be distaincing myself even further?
My ex and I been separated for six months. We have been texting each other about two months ago but there's have been no contact since then would she come back or is it over.
You allude to the fact at the end of your video, it's the masculine responsibility to chase/reach out to the feminine. That seems counterintuitive. Does that not break the cycle or effectiveness of no contact?
That's after SHE broke NC. Or, if after 3-4-5+ months of complete silence, you decide to do a "hail mary" break of NC, (one time, and with a casual message). We men are the pursuer 99% of the time. You want her to start the process, but yeah, we have to lead after that. (VERY slowly and all like he explains though).
I hope you read this Coach Blacc, my ex and I have always been in communication off and on. All your techniques have worked for me….. they have actually worked too well but it doesn’t stick. I find myself repeating these techniques over and over. Sometimes days, weeks, and or months will go by with no communication. But when we do speak or go out we would talk about us but nothing ever materializes . Do we have a chance of actually being together again?
Maturity is when you don’t force people to choose you. You can’t control their choices. You can’t “make” anyone do anything they don’t want to. A relationship is between TWO people who choose each other. Sometimes all you can do is accept there’s not much you can *do* that is beneficial, except to go no contact. And sometimes all you can control is how well you let go of control.
I’ve watched a lot of your videos lately, and some are very good,. Thanks a lot for that. Now, if I in turn can give you one advice since this video is new: stop saying “what's going on RUclips. Welcome back to the channel ” as an intro. I am NOT called RUclips, nor are any of your viewers. To you, you are posting on RUclips. If you get say 40,000 views it’s a great number, and you don’t know us personally. But recall that it’d be 40,000 individuals watching your video, in a “one on one” setting with you. As if you are speaking to each of us, one by one. It's not like speaking to a crowd of 40,000. You explain so many great nuances of how exes think, how to react, etc. You get human nature and people’s POVs. Yet you make this is very basic mistake. Easy to fix. Just skip the “RUclips” word and you’re done.
It’s been almost a year. Coach helped me get through a lot! I used to watch his videos multiple times a day lol. Thankfully I hardly watch anymore! She found out I was dating (casually) someone else. Dm’d this new girl on social and asked how she knew me. Shortly after that I received a text from my ex telling me how much she loved me and that she was going to move forward. Mind you she left me, I pleaded for a bit, messed up no contact multiple times. I eventually completely let go though. I still think about her very often but the anxiety is completely gone. Pain hurts less. Her reaching out kind of messed with me a bit, I felt that anxiety come back a bit. If you’re reading this hang in there! Listen to coach. If they left you, they’re betting that they can do better without you. Let them!
Why would you date someone else if you loved her?
It’s the same with me. It’s been 6+ months and I’ve finally gotten to that place of peace and moving on. I click on these videos only if they show up in my feed. Coach has helped me out a lot. I pray my ex doesn’t reach out. I hope she finds love because I found myself while in NC.
You did the right thing. The anxiety still existed because you wholeheartedly cared. It's her lost, move forward. I'm praying for you. You got this❗️💪🏾
@@nanathous thanks for that reply! I needed to hear that today. As someone who tries their best to put their ego aside, it hurts seeing someone who you still care about be so selfish and egotistical. Bummer for sure. Thank you!
@romo3418 You're welcome. Tap into your strength. Give the situation over to GOD. Watch GOD work! You can do it. I'm praying for you.
3 month no contact and holding up, starting to get easier
One month today, it's still very hard, but I can actually feel myself feeling different about the no contact.. meaning I think it is getting easier, it's like I'm missing him sooo much but I'm getting to the point where I don't feel he would ever come back or call me. So a part of me is letting go. It's hard to explain unless somebody out there feels the same and they understand😢
@@Ms.T2024I get it completely, going on 2 months of no contact, he ended the relationship, I'm pretty much I'm at the point that I'm glad he did, bc I never had the strength too... Im definitely ok and better off...
Over 2 months no contact so far. If he's highly narcissistic, you're better off forgetting them and moving on. It takes years for a narcissistic person to change and learn.
@SonyaWill2012 I miss mines, I let him know,... he did text bk but didn't Acknowledge what I said and asked about something else, I called once and he didn't respond, I waited one wk to see if he'll say happy Birthday, and he didn't. So I went into NC...... now I'm at that point like I was saying of missing him but getting stronger without him..! And I'm glad you are also, especially if that's what you wanted...we gonna be ok. Oh and he's very stubborn (Avoident)
@@Ms.T2024 I definitely think a person gets stronger when they actually come to the reality of a situation, WE definitely got this💪🏾 and my ex is an avoidant too, I truly understand...
Do a favour to yourself guys, don't chase, nor accept her again. She is the one who will always need validation from outside world and a week of your bad's she is again gone. It not about pleasing her all the time over your self respect. So save yourself some time, go on dates and u will surely know dis time whom to choose. Smiles !!😊
Great tip. I believe this tip serves for women too.
My ex left Aug. 4th 2024, we were together for almost 5 yrs with 3 yr old twins, I did no contact for 2 weeks now she begging to comeback, I stay in North Carolina and she took my kids to New Jersey where her parents live no contact really works, thanks coach.
That's awesome...If you don't mind, what was her reasoning for leaving...
Happy for you also.
I’m in a very similar situation please advise me how do no contact successfully when younger children are involved. I was reaching out to my ex when it was pertaining to our son but now I do not I wait until he does
@@NinaSanders-pj2hd I'm def not coach Blac level but if you don't talk to them about y'all's children, he will eventually reach out and start by asking how the kids are. I'd say NC
How did u hold up dealing with it now two year old twins
She discarded me came back no remorse wanting to be friends only to slow fade away to go back to the pos she left me for. Nah I deserve better
That's a nice jacket Coach Black
Thanks my friend ❤️
@@blacademic you're welcome
@blacademic is it ok if ar block my gf from viewing my WhatsApp status after she told me to give her space?
Women frustrate me… genuinely considering marrying a tree at this point.
😂😂😂oooh no. Keep trying
This is so helpful. You have no idea. This is a must I’m staying strong 1 week in, I know I sound crazy but it’s been a hard week
2 .months limited contact just for the kids. I miss her so much. Hopefully, NC works 13 years together
i like watch these i don't really care about my ex or want her back, but i just find these interesting.
2 months after my breakup and mostly I did NC but wish I did fully, still haven't heard from her and don't care now. Now I see how shitty she was, alcoholic, cheated on me 3 times. She even got a 2nd DWI 1 month after we broke up. I'm ashamed of myself for putting up with it for so long. I deserve better and I see it now. Love the videos and see the clarity after watching these vids. You all will get better, it hurts now but just wait 🙂
No contact for 3 months. She has set her Instagram from private to public, public to private and that 3x for the weekend (her birthday and an event). Saw she put stories in highlights and watched them after 48 h. Maybe the last one was within the 48h because it went to private again. I’ve put mine on private as well now, but she won’t be able to watch my stories or reach out. No hope here and moving on, because for some it may work (it works for yourself) but honestly I would be happier with breakups where they leave you with respect and not cold turkey. I do not believe she is coming back. There is no breadcrumbing or signs. Nothing at all. I’ve worked on myself and quite happy now but rather feeling lonely though
You will be fine. Same story private and just move on.. no need to do anything for her now.
Im really struggling with no contact at the moment, theres so many things about my life atm I want to share with her but shes been spinning every word i say into a negative before no contact even when I was saying clearly positive things, 13 days no contact and this is by far the hardest day.
Man it's hard when you have kids together
Stick with your boundaries; keep the conversation with your ex about your kids only and nothing else.
My ex dumped me, but we work together and he now avoids me by all means at work and I like it that way, I didn't beg to be together when he ended it I was basically like, "ok, God Bless" I wasn't being treated properly anyway... But he's watched my stories then I blocked him from my social media🤷🏾♀️ baby good riddens...
I haven't talked to my ex since we broke up and that was just over a year ago. Her mother still contacts me to check up on me time to time. No contact was tough when she asked for a break during the relationship but once we broke up, it was tough but being mentally strong has always been my greatest strength.
I begged him to come back. He’s hurt and moving on. I went no contact in July and he reached out in September but doesn’t want to reconcile. I went back to no contact for my peace and sanity because I still want to be with him. Staying in no contact. I don’t see us getting back together. He claims he is moving out of the state in order to start over. He claims he doesn’t go back to exes.
NEVERRRRRR let a man tell you twice, that he doesn't want you..
Today I get the news that my ex of 3yrs just pop out on social media with a new boyfriend after being in no contact for 4 months. It’s crazy because she was the same one saying she needed space to work on herself and everything but whole time it was all bs. I’ve took her to Disney world 2x last year, seen Drake 2x and done plenty of unique things during that period. We’re only 22yrs old now and I provided an experience that most married couples never live to see. I was disappointed that she sold me a dream and led me on just to monkey branch to another man that quick. (I was her first good man she ever dated just to be torture and disrespected in return)
Now you’ve learned their true nature. Provide experiences, don’t provide experiences, doesn’t matter either way. They come, and they go. Might be 1 year, might be 20 years. Their emotions rule them, and they have no concept of relationship equity as a man does. So no matter how much time, energy and effort you have put in (and her too), they can leave on a whim, with no prior warning. I’m mid 30’s, so I’ve been through this with them countless times over the years. Been engaged, had a kid with one of them, been in 5 year ones, 3 year, 1.5 year, etc. No major issues like I was cheating or anything. But they always monkey branched. I thought it was maybe the type of woman I was attracting, but I started improving myself getting up to figures, starting a business, getting in shape, and really started vetting these women, but nothing mattered. Always the same outcome. Make sure you learn this lesson at your age, and never take em serious, cuz you will get blindside monkey branched on, and if you put your trust and emotional investment into them, it will rip your heart out time and time again. They cannot be satisfied, and they get bored easily over time. Familiarity breeds contempt for them much more intensely than it does for men. It’s a symptom of our modern era and hypergamy being allowed to be out in the open by society now. So there is not much to be done, just have a rotation and work on your own self improvement.
EDIT: hey bigdawg7478, not sure if you will see this, I tried answering you but it keeps getting deleted by RUclips. They don’t want this info out there haha. So I’ll try to edit my original comment. Most of the time they will leave, nothing you did wrong, I’ve been where you are many times. Been with many different women from all walks of life. Don’t beat yourself up. Just have a bunch of women you are always dating and try not to commit until she is begging you to. They are fickle creatures and if their emotions change they will just leave. It’s like the weather, can’t be predicted. If you find a needle in the hay stack unicorn, then good for you. If she’s been with more than a couple men, don’t bother for marriage. Don’t even sign the contract ever actually.
@@Freudster21I salute your scar tissue sir, and will heed your warning. Respect from England.
@@broski120 Thanks brotha, good luck out there
@@Freudster21thank you needed this so no matter what they will leave ?
@@bigdawg7478 In my experience, which is extensive, I’ve had many women for casual, and many for relationships, they will always get bored or lose attraction no matter what you do. Especially in this era! I’m sure there are some cases with certain women where they stay til old age, I know of some, but that is rare and harder to find. Also those ones will wear you down and make you submit to them, which is a no no as a man. Even if they stay, they will cheat or emotionally cheat, which as you know is emasculating and defeats the purpose of having a woman as “yours”, hence the saying she’s not yours it’s just your turn. So nowadays you will be hard pressed to find one that will stay. If you find that unicorn that doesn’t leave and that always follows your lead and defers to you as the man, the leader in the relationship, and she doesn’t cheat, then good for you. But good luck on that, especially in the west, and especially if she is college educated. They are poisoned by toxic anti make and anti traditional gender role ideologies. Just think about it, if she didn’t stay with her first or second man, she now has a pattern of leaving, since almost all relationships are ended by women. She now has more difficulty pair bonding due to multiple partners, and will blame the feelings being gone on you, and find flaws in you and entertain the many suitors that are always pursuing women. She will monkey branch and repeat the process ad infinitum. I have learned the hard way over 20 years of this shit dealing with women. I have found women from the country who only had one linen term relationship before me and one body, and she still monkey branched out of nowhere. You cannot satisfy these women bro. So the odds are just stacked against you, unless you want to get cheated on and accept it. I have had so many women who were married or in relationship come to me to get piped out, that I realized they ain’t loyal. So don’t beat yourself up, just have many women you are dealing with, and never get emotionally involved where you think she may not leave you, and that she is committed. Just tell her you want to take things slow, and don’t commit. She’ll have you meeting her family and friends and investing all this time, only to be left out of the blue for another man, who she will leave him eventually too lol. Even if some marriages make, like less than half, how many of those do you think are healthy, functioning relationships where the man is in charge and gets sex on the regular and she is still attracted. It’s rare bro. So take it from me, a man who has had women from all over the country and internationally, of many age ranges, and they come and go. It’s sad and is what it is, but adapt and try not to get hurt anymore if you can. I know easier said than done, cuz they are seductive and feel you in. A marriage is like a funeral for the man. Have kids but don’t sign a contract. My two cents
Thank you for the end of the video, explain clearly what a masculine and feminine person best to do in certain situations ❤ ps that colors look so good on you!
Masculine role does the courting and proposing. Feminine role does the choosing of the best suitor and attracting best suitor.
Thank you so much 💓
Bro she wrote me after 2months. „Hey did you bell on my door yesterday“. Breadcrumps right?
She had me blocked for 2months, i did no contact. A week ago she unblocked and change profil pics
100%. Something happened in her life that made her hit u up again. Just be careful. Actions speak louder then words.
The 3 week test example. Hit home 😂😂😂😂
I love your advice so much
@blacademic Thank you! I love your videos! My ex broke no contact after two months and definitely tested. Even though I was passing his tests, he canceled a date he made and then pulled away. I haven’t heard from him in five weeks. Is that typical? I was hoping things would continue to progress
Thanks
🤞
Coach blac can we have a conversation about my situation
I split up with my ex after a fight 2 months ago and we thought about getting back together. Even though she did want to get back together she decided not to since she says we need time apart and It's fine. Pretty sure she's trying to move on and I should do the same, pain is temporary, when one door closes another one will open, starting to kinda look that way and accepting what happened and letting past go.
Easily said but not fone
I have been separated for 10 months now I have kids with my ex. Of 20 years,during the week it’s no contact
weekends are a bit different due to our kids
Today she texted me telling me that she might move 2 1/2 hours away
She did tell me that I can move there as well and that her brother would get me a job.
Also she said for our girls you have to follow
I didn’t answer her when she said for your girls you have to follow.
One thing is that my kiddos are still small
. What do I do in this case
Please help me
Are there ever situations where they are in the curiosity or texting phase for months? My ex bf has been watching my stories off and on for the past few months, typically every couple of weeks but he'll also watch if I post something that's bigger news like that i was moving and what part of town I'm in now, that I joined the gym he used to go to, etc. My gut feeling is that he is trying to get me to contact him but he's never done anything direct like texting me or even reacting on a story. Do you just continue no contact and give up at that point or do you reach out to them if it continues for that long?
Idk if this is new or not because of that ice fishing story. I heard you tell it before. I know the video says it dropped 4 hours ago.
this is a reupload. same topic and idea, but I recorded the video twice, this is a slightly shorter version. So not exactly the same but very close. Most new subscribers probably haven't heard it though. But thanks for watching!
Hey good morning man your videos are really helping me get through some hard times I was in a 20 year relationship just ended out of nowhere about three months ago. My partner walked out on both me and our daughter refuses to take her belongings and return the keys to our home what should I do and she’s just like a different person even our daughter says it
Also, I believe she’s already in another relationship. I think that may be the reason for the break up.
You think?? Follow your gut. She's moved on. Stay respectful and see it for what it is. You can do it. Pray and get into yourself. Change the locks, pack her things, and ask her to pick them up, or it will be put on the curb for the next trash day. Watch how fast she moves . If she doesn't come pick up her things, she's definitely has moved on, and you should do the same.
After 8 months of NC he contact me..and I made a HUGE mistake, I took him back quickly, actually I took him back same day he contact me 😢. He said that he thought about me all this time that he never stopped loving me ..I said “me too” what an absolute idiot I am!!!
After 2 months of messaging he was acting strangely (hot-cold). I stupidly suggested(many times) to meet up (he lives bit far from me), to go somewhere…and then he said that he feels pressured 🙈 and broke up with me AGAIN! I said oke, but you will regret it…NEXT DAY he answered me “I already do” wtf??? I didn’t respond to this …And then blocked me after 2 months even I didn’t contact him ..I don’t understand…I’m lost …help…please…any thoughts or advice?😢
hat i shouldn’t beg, her bestfriend always giving her these thoughts that she needs to break up with me coz the same thing will happen etc, since my gf is always at her bestfriend place, she kinda feel bad if she comes back to me, her bestfriend won’t talk to her anymore thats what her bestfriend said. on sept 29 we decided to talk in person and do a proper closure even tho i didn’t want to. now i am her all alone at out place, her stuff things are still here she told me she would come at get them little by little, i can’t sleep i can’t eat even tho my stomach feels hungry, whenever i close my eyes i see her, when i go to bathroom kitchen i see her. every angle of in my house reminds me of her. im so depressed, people always told me , you need to go out do stuff etc but its not that easy when we just broke up. idk maybe i should change place coz me and my gf got this small apartment for us. i prepared everything for our 3rd anniversary on october 4. even bought the engagement ring and she knows i bought them. everything is falling apart im so depresssed 😢
So it's been 2 months. I've practiced no contact. Thing is im pregnant with his child. He's starting to come back around now but it's as if he's hung up over our past. It's as if our conversation goes nowhere so I keep it short. I'm not chasing him but I'm open to having a conversation with him on the phone or meeting to talk. What should I do ? I'm not ready for him to come back around and not be consistent
We have kids so we have to have contact with each other
I broke up with him because he only sees me once in two or three weeks. And if i ask for more he thinks im trying to control him... I love him and want him but it hurts so much when he doesn't choose to be with me. I apologize for the controlling and said i made a mistake but I do know if he eants me back. Going no contact now.
I am so happy for those ppl who get to marry and have kids with the love of their lives. It has been almost six years since she left, No contact at all during that period. I’ve been with many women, and I haven’t been able to feel anything for any of those women, That’s what I am afraid of. Generally, we fall in love once in our lifetime if something goes wrong, We spend our life trying to find someone who can make us feel at least a little bit of how we felt with that person. Unfortunately, that never happens. Can anyone please tell me how I can forget the love of my life, How can I marry or have kids with someone else knowing that I am still in love with her? That is a pain that I don’t wish for anybody, and I pray to god that none of you reading my comments goes through that.
Have the same problem. Togehter 7 years, he broke up over 2 years ago but i cant forget him. I date other men but it is like i dont really care about them. I feel bored with them and feel like cheating. Tells me that my heart is full of love for him even if he does not care anymore....
@@Ivy89261 Sorry to hear that, As I mentioned, I am terrified of expanding my life, incapable of having a meaningful relationship with someone else just because I can’t get over someone who doesn’t even care. I hope you figure it out soon
What happens if he left….. He ghosted me for 26 days no words…. No Hi or hello. There was no fight or quarrel b4 now. I reached out to his mum to know what went wrong as he wasn't responding to me. 2 hours after I spoke with the mum, he messaged me ‘“l need you to move on” I asked if I did something wrong he said no, he couldn't just continue. That's how my 3years relationship disappeared b4 my eyes
Does no contact work if a couple breaks up because one person moved to another state to be with their sibling? Especially if you’ve communicated in the past during the relationship that you would like to move out of your small town someday too. How might that work in relation to no contact?
I’ve been in no contact for 4 months now but my ex text me in a pattern she does it every 2 to 3 weeks last Sunday she text me to tell my daughter happy birthday I told her she can tell my daughter her self but she said she didn’t wanna mess anything up she also owes me $600 which she’s been owning me for 7 months now she always tellin me to take care of myself and telling me I don’t know how I feel about her. When we first got together I gave her a Xmas gift it was a gold chain and pendent and she never gave it back but I’m wondering if she is holding on to it cause she knows she’s coming back someone please tell me what kind of behavior is this
Very similar to my situation; she left after living with me for eight months, in my home. When she left, she refused to pay me the $600 she owed me. Had to threaten to take her to small claims court, in order to get paid. Oh, she wanted the expensive rings I had given her. Thankfully, I snatched those back before she could take them. She often left her engagement ring off, always when with “friends” over weekends away. Friends I never met. Likely, another guy or guys. My advice to you is to set the bar very high, should you take them back.
Her not giving the necklace and pendant only means that she likes the way it makes her look when she wears it. Believe me, women always like to leave with the gold and diamonds. It is not about you, nor her feelings for you. Sorry.
Okay, so what you're saying is that when I contacted my ex after two months of no contact with a simple "I'm in the neighborhood and thought about you' ten-second message left on his phone but then he blocked me (but not everywhere so I could still contact him if I wanted to) when all he really had to do was simply not answer the phone, he was really testing me to see how I would behave after that?
When can we have a talk
What if there’s children involved?
Does all this work on someone who I only went out with for a few months? And who’s adamant they now don’t want a relationship? Been on and off since he broke it off about a month ago and he always misses me etc but still won’t budge with his decision? 😫
What if I was the issue and lost her trust as a protector and a father figure and we’ve been currently separated it’s fresh like a week we had a conversation about my actions on Sunday and she’s putting her foot down instead of giving in to letting me in right away. Waitied till Tuesday to ask if we can talk and she didn’t want to didn’t have contact and Friday comes around I just sent I love you and the kids and miss you and them dearly nothing back we were suppose to dress up for Halloween with the kids now I’m thinking it’s not going to happen with me I’m sure the kids are asking for me cause they are super attached to me as much as I would love to message her somthing small like Ilhet throwing it out there if you would like to still get dressed with the kids and take pictures I’m sure they would love that.. but I should just still have no contact and let her let it soak in ? and she’s going through a divorce that’s been still happening but have been separated from him for 3 years we’ve been together for two and she’s saw somthing in me to bring me into her 4 children’s lives
How to do get over feelings completely not fake it but we have a baby together
coach black need your help pls tell me what to do she brokeup with me on 9 sep i am in canada from last dec and she is in india. she gave me the reason thats its long distance this isnt gonna work. On our last call she admitted that everything is good from my side she is the one who fucked up. Our relation will turn 2 years very soon. Its been more than 2 weeks and oct 3 is my birthday. Do you think she gonna wish me . She didnt unfollow me and watch my stories every day and likes my post. pls tell me what to do im so confused😢.
Do avoidants come back???
Why my ex has a gf and baby now and we been broken up for 6 years now was high school sweetheart but he won’t stop watching what I’m doing him and his brother watches my ig account and we actually met up atfer so many years and he basically was saying he miss me but it was crazy cause he sawed me the day atfer my birthday and I just finished school so I wonder why he wanted to see me all of sudden now
How u go no contact when y’all have a 4 month old
The third video ever done on this channel deals with that topic specifically. 🤗
Coach why does my ex block me after i set boundaries with her?
She can't handle her emotions or is punishing you with silent treatment.
Because she see you not going for what she throws at you anymore so she's mad
what are the boundaries?
@blacademic she sent multiple messages with mixed signals, sending pics of her cat and asking about our animals, i told her no im sorry, you didnt want me in your life anymore.
She then called me petty and blocked me
Did coach Blac say he was born in Nigeria?
indeed ;)
@@blacademic Wow! Brother man.
Sales Engineer?
Its been 2 months since my breakup
We don't talk to each other at all
I have applied no contact rule
My ex birthday is coming up
Should I wish him on his birthday or not?
Hell No, or they will not feel the loss
Everytime my ex falls out or has a brief break up with her bf she hits me up. What's the best way to approach this. I ain't no ones plan b.
Just ignore her. Block her number
Ignore or block.
Pump and dizzzump
Dated 5.5 years and just hit 3 months of no contact… she texted me last week accusing me of doing something ridiculous and that I would never do… I didn’t reply because it felt like she would call me a liar no matter what I said and that she was looking for a fight… was this the right decision?
U did the right thing, my ex did the same. I ignored her
@@lambypigs did you ever hear from her afterwards? While Im pretty confident that it was the right thing… I still just have slight doubts/worries that she was testing to see if I would even respond (with an excuse that kept her guard up) and since I didn’t she won’t try again
@@Rraide3r she called me a month later , she's blocked so it didn't come thru . Haven't heard from her since and I'm fine with it, once i detach you're DONE
@@lambypigs good for you on holding firm with your boundaries! 🤝
@@Rraide3r stay strong and move on wit ya life , fuck all the breadcrumbing
My ex broke up with me after 14 year relationship. Determined myself to go into no contact. But every 2-3 days she messages me. I always reply but keep it short and emotionless. But she keeps reaching out to me. Am i doing something wrong? Should i be distaincing myself even further?
do you want her back?
@@sullamania2292 yes i do. But of course i have it in myself to move on should the need arise
@@sullamania2292 yes i still do
My ex and I been separated for six months. We have been texting each other about two months ago but there's have been no contact since then would she come back or is it over.
You'll never know wirh them
You allude to the fact at the end of your video, it's the masculine responsibility to chase/reach out to the feminine. That seems counterintuitive. Does that not break the cycle or effectiveness of no contact?
That's after SHE broke NC. Or, if after 3-4-5+ months of complete silence, you decide to do a "hail mary" break of NC, (one time, and with a casual message). We men are the pursuer 99% of the time. You want her to start the process, but yeah, we have to lead after that. (VERY slowly and all like he explains though).
I hope you read this Coach Blacc, my ex and I have always been in communication off and on. All your techniques have worked for me….. they have actually worked too well but it doesn’t stick. I find myself repeating these techniques over and over. Sometimes days, weeks, and or months will go by with no communication. But when we do speak or go out we would talk about us but nothing ever materializes . Do we have a chance of actually being together again?
What if your ex has cheated and moved away what can i do make him come back
You need to love, respect and value yourself.
Maturity is when you don’t force people to choose you. You can’t control their choices. You can’t “make” anyone do anything they don’t want to.
A relationship is between TWO people who choose each other.
Sometimes all you can do is accept there’s not much you can *do* that is beneficial, except to go no contact. And sometimes all you can control is how well you let go of control.
Never give another chance to a cheater, love yourself... Work on self-growth and attract the right guy, never chase..
Don't go back to a cheater cause he'll do it again
@@ritapeters1330 thanks for the advice I haven’t I have found someone new but still struggling about my last one ex , thanks :)
I’ve watched a lot of your videos lately, and some are very good,. Thanks a lot for that. Now, if I in turn can give you one advice since this video is new: stop saying “what's going on RUclips. Welcome back to the channel ” as an intro. I am NOT called RUclips, nor are any of your viewers. To you, you are posting on RUclips. If you get say 40,000 views it’s a great number, and you don’t know us personally. But recall that it’d be 40,000 individuals watching your video, in a “one on one” setting with you. As if you are speaking to each of us, one by one. It's not like speaking to a crowd of 40,000. You explain so many great nuances of how exes think, how to react, etc. You get human nature and people’s POVs. Yet you make this is very basic mistake. Easy to fix. Just skip the “RUclips” word and you’re done.
No wonder you got dumped 😂JK lol
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