We “DISAPPEAR “ because we recognize that we have lost our authenticity. We love deeply and feel hard-and that might equal how long we need - when we recognize we aren’t authentic, probably because we are so deeply hurt, and need to find our own way back…. Which will ultimately lead us back to our best friends
I'm definitely a disappearing artist. I kind of disappear accidentally, but if someone just gets me to the point where I'm done with them, I just make myself unavailable to them in any way. I won't make drama, I won't talk about them behind their back, I'll just disappear. If they notice and wonder what happened, that's on them, but I don't think too much about stuff like that. Generally speaking, people know how I feel about them. The phrase "I'm not responsible for what my face does when you open your mouth" definitely applies to me.
I'm an ISFP and this is me EXACTLY. I'm really good at letting things go for a while with people but there is definitely a line that gets crossed and then I'm absolutely done. And it has a lot to do with chaos and keeping the pleasant environment and keeping negativity away. Thanks for this!
this is so spot on! i tend to avoid arrogant, mean and negative people who make for an unpleasant environment. im not gonna go through the lengths to change a person, im just gonna avoid them. cuz like you said, i dont like what i become when im around them. i tend to get internally pissed off or having mean thoughts or feelings about a person. and instead of hating a person, im just gonna avoid them so they wont cause me hateful feelings.
"I just need to be alone for a week, a month , a year.." Yeah I hear you :D The funny thing though is I expect everyting to be the same when I return and I don't get why people are pissed off and confused. And I never learn. Kind of egoistical, isn't it?
Yes. I feel what you are saying. It really isn’t the most wonderful quality of the ISFP. But I want to be brutally honest. Good and bad! Thank you so much for watching. I do appreciate it.
As an INFP when I get ghosted, if it's someone I care about I get really nervous, racking my brain for things I might have done wrong, and worried for their safety and well being. If I don't care about them as much I may do those things or, if I had negative feelings towards them for some reason, I might feel relieved that it happened without me being the responsible party.
As an ISFP I used to have really close friends that I just slooowly grew distant of for certain reasons. I would find a close friend in a class then once we stop talking because of school break we would just start stop talking to each other... I'd get really insecure and have thoughts that "Okay clearly they dont miss you, sophia.. why even bother message them first?" "They mustve found someone new".. It's really sad. When I get messages from other people im not really close with, or people who are popular who overwhelm me sometimes I would just leave them on seen and forget to reply. Days would go on.. and Id not even bother messaging back. Its so weird of me.. theyd jokingly say im a snob, seener, inbox-er. They dont dislike me or anything, they just know i can dissappear and come back like nothing happened!! But luckily I found my 2 closest friends and we're still talking ofc. I would do the disappearing act to them sometimes too but they know that its normal of me to do so
As an ISFP everything you said was 100% relatable to me. I also would add to the list when someone’s very clingy and annoying. Not respecting my space. Like you said one or two times I’ll ignore it. If it’s constant I’ll start distancing myself.
I as a ISFP I am a forgive and forget kind of person, one of my pet peeves is grudge holding and I can't stand it. I can relate to want a pleasant environment. Growing up with a hateful older brother and angry father I really value when times are peaceful and calm.
I find that I am too tolerating for too long of negative behavior and remove myself too late from the situation. Sometimes I do have those blow-up moments and then remove myself from the situation. Other times I will say nothing and turn and walk out. If they pick a fight with me, I will defend my peace of mind honestly to make them shut up so I can be alone and by myself. I am very honest about how I feel about situations but I do not directly confront others. I may tell them that this is what I need or to please stop doing what they are doing. I am a fighter for my own peace and turn into an agitated, angry person when someone is disturbing my peace. I really get that. Unfortunately, there are people in my life I need to tend to and I have a harder time cutting people out that I need to. Saying no is difficult. But I totally relate to this video.
anoncactus thank you for watching and commenting. I agree with what you say. And I have blown up and confronted people, but that is rare. That mainly happens when I don’t have the option of escape.
I do hold grudges unfortunately. If I don't get an explanation of why they did what they did, nor remorse from their side (an authentic apology), then I have difficulties forgiving. But I'm not vengeful, I kind of put them on the bad people list and the first reaction is to just try and avoid them. But if it's someone I have to be around on a regular basis, and they repeat their behaviour over and over, at some point I will confront them. I never could totally relate to the conflict-avoiding-at-all cost trait of ISFPs. I want harmony, but sometimes conflict is needed in order for it to be true harmony.
I hold grudges to an almost unhealthy extent. I cannot seem to forgive some people who I feel like have done me wrong. I am very "live and let live" and I know I'm not perfect, but I try to be a good person and I will absolutely take a lot of crap from people I'm close to, so I think that's why when I feel I've been taken advantage of or treated unfairly by people, I take it extremely personally. I disappear, but after I confront them. I do not leave them wondering where I've gone. lol
@@jehcee1 Same same. Most of the time if someone upsets me, I honestly just forget why I'm mad after a short amount of time, But if you upset me a lot...( Like I found out my partner was lying to my for YEARS) oh the grudge is SO STRONG! The pain was so real over and over, like I need to forget it almost and the only way to forget is to cut someone out.
@@addie4548 I did something like this too, moved to my moms house 3 states away instead of just breaking up. He wouldn't let me walk to the store down the street, then I moved .
Wow im a isfp and i do the same thing i take off for months been thru so many friends and some i never came back to always wondered why im this way just glad i aint the only one. Gj on the video god bless.
Andre Melo - You are definitely not the only one. We ISFPs are great disappearing artists. Thank you for watching and commenting . It is much appreciated.
12:17 - 🎵 Why you gotta be so ruuude~ 🎶 (one of my favorite old pop songs) 🤘🏾 I'm an ENFJ fully committed to an ISFP. Thanks for the valuable insight! 🙏🏾
I'm an isfp and this is really spot on. 😂 I can tolerate people one time. But if it keeps happening I'll just instantly block them and avoid them forever 😂
Im an ISFP, and i have been having trouble with myself about finding why im cutting certain people and why im avoiding these people. I thought it was just all me, hating people for no reason. Now it all make sense! I can see now that there were “incidents” before i just give up trying to maintain my friendships with these people. I appreciate your content. This helps me alot
Yes, I can relate to this video so much! I usually don't cut someone out of my life if it's for something petty, stupid, even if I get a little mad about it, and I'm not confrontational. But if someone is mistreating me, toxic behavior, too much negativity, or I don't like the attitude because of something that person did, or said (how they treat other people) that was mean and it's the same thing quite a few times, I will cut that person out of my life without a hesitation. It takes alot and once my mind is made up I'm out. Also, I like to socialize with small group of friends, and I definitely need my alone time.
As an IFSP I have had to train myself. 1. I tell rude people that I prefer being with polite and considerate folks. (Hard to say when you want to be loved all the time…). I tell them how I feel when I am with them. I don’t point a finger at them and force them to defend themselves - I talk about myself and my reactions. In that way I feel I give them enough possibility to change their behavior if they want to be with me. 2. If they continue draining me I cut them out totally. Sometimes with an explanation, but often not. Having told them clearly in advance is in my mind enough, and I think that I have kept my integrity and done the right thing. 3. I don’t bear grudge. Some people just aren’t up to my standards. 4. I sense that kind of people straight away now, and just don’t get involved. I am definitely an ISFP type A (assertive). Extremely sensitive, but on “Big Five” I score very low on neuroticism. Maybe that helps.
Not being rude & a good environment is everything! Thank you for vocalizing this, totally vibe with this 100%! I have bouts of time where i honestly want to just cut certain people out because they are either rude or pollute their surroundings with pessimism. Either they learn not to be like that or i don't spend any more time at all with them. -ISFP
Im a ENTP and we can easily be seen as rude or pessimist. We are valuable and essential and if you are dealing with them just own your boundaries and they will respect them....mostly.....but you gotta own them clearly and directly. My fiancé is ISFP and we compliment each other as long as she doesn't take me too seriously and im not judgmental....which we nailed those things
You had it pretty perfect to me but I do sometimes hold grudges usually not, a couple months ago I disappeared from my friends lives for months and after coming back to then now I’m growing sick of their negativity and hatefulness and am completely avoiding them and finding new groups of people to be around
Ban people from my life, check! Quiet environment, nice people around me, check! Don't confront, turn around and walk away, check! I feel my very best when I am alone and love to be alone. And indeed, only the feeling I get when the thought of disappearing comes in is so strong. People I've said goodbye to in the past will never see me again! I have no need for that any more
I did this with a childhood friend. We were in college and we had a big fight because she was trying to push me around and I wouldn’t let her. She looked wild eyed and said I lost control of you. WTF? What kind of crap is that? So I moved out, I got a new phone number, I got a private mailbox and I told my mom not to talk to her mom about me for the rest of our lives. I’m 63, and I haven’t talked to her since I was 23. She knew she was doing harm all along, and when I know that someone is harming me deliberately I’M DONE!
Thank you! This is quite helpful for me. I avoid people who make me hate the way I behave around them. Sometimes I can't figure out what it is exactly but it's hard to be negative, angry or resentful so I avoid interacting with those people. It is hell for me right now because I am unable to avoid one such person. The painful thing is that I think I am responsible for part of the negativity. It eats away at me. I feel like a horrible person. Someone close to me invalidates my emotions, rights and desire do certain things. They're little things but it happens constantly and I have this bottled up resentment. I don't want to tell them what's wrong because there has never been an occasion when they are willing to listen to me. Even if they do, it's in a condescending/insincere way like, "I'll do as you say just so you'll stop fussing over it." Then they do it again. Because of this, I simply give the silent treatment with no explanation. They think I'm crazy and sulk for no reason. It doesn't solve anything for me either. I'm stuck.
I have experienced this on many occasions. You have put my own experiences into very well-said words. I want to grow to the point that these situations Don not bother me. But it is very hard to do. That is why I usually try to find a way to cut that person out. But that can I always be done. I am going to do a video soon on personal growth that will tackle how I am learning to deal with this problem. Thank you for watching and commenting.
I definitely learned throughout my life that often it's best to just remove myself from people that I clash with. I definitely don't want negativity or craziness around me. I feel too much like a sponge that sucks up all those vibes and then it messes with my own life and distracts me. Cant have that for too long. The one thing that really bothers me is selfish people. Probably the most people I have cut out are the drama queens and kings that make everything about themselves and also the kind of people that cant get out of their own negativity. I dont know how to help those kinds of people and I cant take constant rambling about negativity. Cool video dude, I subbed! ISFPs unite, hehe :)
I hate hearing someone unfairly running down another person. I feel the need to defend the absent party. Have made some enemies in doing it, but I'm okay with that. I don't want people judged without a trial. Racism is a no no in my friend group. I am totally turned off by it. Being asked to not be me, is the same as saying goodbye to me, cos I'm outties.
Also...OH GOD I HAD THAT COWORKER. I admit I'm a snarkbucket myself but sometimes it's just because the snarkiness was funny in my head. I didn't have the freedom to avoid that person like you did so I finally had to go to them and explain that I felt uncomfortable when they threw shade about my coworkers behind their backs and I didn't want to be a part of those conversations. Surprisingly that actually helped somewhat and it turned out that I was one of the only people in the office that actually confronted them. Which was shocking as hell considering I'm an INFP because I actually don't confront people often and I would've thought one of the extraverts would do it but apparently not. That person definitely did not change but they kept their distance a bit. I was soooooooooo glad when they transferred though. Thank God!!!
I'm an ISFP and I'm going through a conflict with my friends rn. It's so hard to hold this conflict I'm a really peaceful person. When someone is rude and/or mean to me I'm just trying to dissapear from the situation I don't want to confrontate I only want to fullfill my energy. I can be patient and close my eyes on the bad things ppl are doing to me BUT if I'm going to forgive this person I need time to be alone bc I can't hold it anymore at this point. And when it's happening a plenty amount of times I just stop communicate with this person bc it's a burning out point. When the world is overwhelming I need to breathe (lyric from Marina's song - happy loner)
Off topic, but the birds chirping outside your place gave a nice feeling to the video! I love it when birds come to my house and I can feed them and just see them being full 😀
OK, this is exactly the thing I’ve been struggling with recently. this video really reassured me. I have been distancing myself from a friend because of the way she behaves around me. We used to be pretty good friends when we first got to know each other at university we shared some nice time, but as time goes by and we become closer, she started to be really pessimistic and negative (I think that’s truly who she is and I couldn’t care less to change that). I found myself usually feeling really drained and annoyed after spending time with her and I didn’t even know why until I really started to think back to what she has been talking to me about all day. They were all negative sayings, rant about coursework, rant about people around us, and disbelief in herself, always talking about how tired she is and how annoyed she is with the world and how much work she’s gotta get done etc. at first I tried to encourage her, but she ended up not believing me anyway. And whenever we share our opinion about a movie that we watched, whatever my opinion was, she had to say the opposite of it, and sometimes her reasons doesn’t even make sense and I feel like she just wants to dismiss anything I had to say, it’s really not a pleasant environment. I have trouble expressing to her that I’m annoyed, Because it would mean to ruin the pleasant environment and I’d rather just avoid confrontation so i distanced myself. But at the same time holding the negative emotions back, the annoyance slowly grew into resentment, and it really feels bad when I have this hateful feeling in myself, and I tried really hard to tell myself that I should not be affected by her actions. What you said in the video about how I just want to be in a nice environment a pleasant environment and I don’t want negativity and mean rude people around me is exactly why I’ve been constantly avoiding her and I have not realize that prior to watching this video, I have been feeling so guilty for really disliking her deep down and distancing myself from her and not being able to at least confront her with the issue, but now I know all I want is to be away from negative people and that is completely within my rights to do. (P.s. One very specific thing that really raised a friendship red flag for me was when we played animal crossing together, and she would talk to the game and would use the rudest words I’ve ever heard in my life and yell at her animal villagers... I don’t understand how someone can be rude to game characters, and in her words, that’s what she always do with games and that’s just who she is. It sort of shows me how her mind functions internally, and it really scares me.)
I get this way when it comes to my work environment and have to deal with coworkers that are negative gossipers....especially when they try to pull me into it, that's where I draw the line. Just do your own thing, I'll do mine and there are no problems^^ But please, do not involve me in your pessimism...I don't wanna feel like that ;-; or take part in harming someone else's feelings
I just lost my ISFP gf of 3 years, like she just walked out on me without warning. I didn't see it coming . I am INTJ , all the time I was trying to solve this relationship crisis as a problem that only Logic and reason can unravel....ii was taking OUT all emotions altogether , while I (now i know after your video) ,how she looked at the same situation ..was ALL emotion.. no wonder it crashed ... architect male to adventurer female ...dont seem to be able to match even the end of the earth.
I’m sorry that your relationship fell apart. You should watch my video on ISFP INTP relationship. I know you are not INTP, but some of the same issues are addressed. Thanks for watching. Hope you find the right person.
I once had a friend that I liked. It then lead to days of me finding a way to be with him. Or like stay in common places that we'd hang out. Suddenly a realization hit me that this person cannot meet the appreciation I had for him. Because of that, I never talked to him for a year. It seemed hard for the other person, because we are classmates. We always see each other. But I can take it. I wouldn't care. I thought it was just me, but yeah. This had happened 8 years ago, now we're good friends. I think I've matured as an ISFP. Instead of pushing the person, I tend to know the reason. Like I base it all on my feelings and what do I sense with the person. And personally, I have been getting good at sensing the intention of the person. When the person is someone I don't want to be with, I simply repel. When the person is okay, I can tolerate. But nothing beats a personal alone time. Me time is way better. What I say is ISFPs will eventually mature on this. We are the most empathetic ones out if the 16 for a reason. We tend to take the high ground when it's needed - to protect us.
To your point about people making the environment bad. That's a HUGE YES! My grandfather will be miserable at times for no reason, and WHO'S USED TO LIVING BY HERSELF, can be very naggy, and that's not what me and my mom are about. Naggy, asking so many questions, being slick at times. She even told me I had to change of my pajamas while I'm walking around the house. And my mom didn't even back me up, because we live with older judgmental family, and she's also not a confrontational person and also would like to keep the peace. I don't confront the ridiculousness out of her respect for my elders. I love her and she's now someone else I can also confide in with my spiritual journey, but she's been on my 'watchout' list since elementary school. She makes me feel like I always have to wear and mask but that was quickly thrown out the door because you're literally making my environment unpleasant, and are asking me to conform to ideas and rules that I didn't grow up having to deal with IN THE COMFORT OF MY HOME. I didn't wanna do it. I tried to keep the calm and remain to myself, but I keep getting pushed to use my offense. Even my mom sometimes gets me upset saying, "we're living with other people now' and I'm like so? And? What that gotta do with me? And you know you don't like it either. We complain to each other. Before knowing who I was, I felt like a misunderstood brat that would flip-flop between emotions and whose family had to tiptoe around; and yes it makes me feel bad, but I am a work in progress. I'm working on my temper and trying to calmy articulate my issue with a situation that I have without flying off the handle. It doesn't always work, but I'll get there.
I can relate to this video to a lot.I have cuttoff like 95%people (relative's family)from my and my family life after i lost my father and realised i just become a person who is angery holds grudges to an extent that even thinking about their names or by mistakle seeing their profile pics gives me back trauma and my life where they messed up with my mental health flashes right in my mind .But i have this kind of behaviour for only this particular set of people who are just theirto humiliate me and my family and i did everything in my control cause my mental health and peace matters the most and now when they call for ritual sake of asking how we are doing and digging our life and making us sad i am turing my filght mode on as cant delete contact as i dont ever by mistakely pick up an unknown number call which i might endup recieving from them.and i recrntly met one of those people i just avioded even eye contact and ignored but my face lol showed how i feel about them 😂
Jason, I can absolutely relate to this. I too desire a calm enviroment. A feel good in The present. I had this guy at work. He would always scream and talk very very loud. And The way to get your attention was to scream loud near you. It sometimes made me really angry. AND tired! I also agree on that I Will neither go to lenghts to try and get this person to understand why I dont like to be around them, but very close ppl to me, I can sometimes do an effort to tell them and on The totally oposite side, if I reeeeeally dont like The person, I rarely can walk up and burn all bridges. You are a horrible person!! But thats very rare. I dont like confrontation either
what you just said, describes me perfectly. I'm very good at disappearing for long periods. It's just something I need to do to rediscover my center. & no I will never confront the person who is being mean or ugly to others. But if they make me feel bad or upset being around them. For too long. I suddenly will leave the negative energy. And will not look back or be sorry. They sometimes accuse me of being too touchy. But I no longer care how they view me at that point. my emotional health is very important to me. Sometimes I wait too long before leaving a negative person. Thank you for being completely open.
I was an ISTP until I went through some tough periods in my life now I'm an ISFP... I used to work in a really BAD & TOXIC environment. I did not confront the xx who had a HUGE impact on me both physically and mentally. And I just knew nothing would change if I confronted them. So few months in I reported it and it went downhill from there lol. It got so much worst that I just shut down and just couldn't take any tasks or even look at their faces lol. I had several breakdowns in front of people. So I just quit. Life is much better now. Thank God. Thank you for this video I totally relate.
True... Most of the time it's about the environment. If someone wanna burst my peaceful,positive,happy,bubble, I try to bear with him/her. But we all got our limits. I literally try to *disappear* or *run away* from that person or else all the thing I do around them is super fake. I can fake it to the point that they've no idea about what I think but I hate myself when I do that. So I simply shut myself to them.
I relate to this perfectly, as I was pretty good friends with someone (they are an INFP), and the relationship got...a little bit much, so yadda yadda, it got to a point where they showed signs of...uhhm..a lot of "clinginess"? Like the "not going to let you go" kind of stuff. It got pretty bad, and a LOT of bad and very emotional arguments happened. So, I decided to lie about going on a vacation trip, and I ghosted them. Immediately, without any feeling of doing anything wrong. I did go back, and confront them, and tell them, and yeah now it's over, even though they still seemingly think it's not over. But yeah, removing them from my life (hopefully forever) has made me WAY happier and nicer of a person. I never want to speak to them again, but I still love them in the sense that I don't want them hurt.
As an turbulent Isfp I can 100% relate!! I have a hard time cutting people off that I really like. Setting boundaries is also a big problem but I’m working on it.💪🏾
I so can relate to this when you cut some people out of your life because of something they did that you hate. What's crazy is I was seen as a "fake", that you're just there then all of a sudden you're gone. Somehow they can make it seem that way. 🤦 When in reality is you just want to have peace in your life so you cut them off. 🤦
I'm an ISFP. This is really me! I have a bestfriend for many year since highschool. Because of our closeness sometimes he is so harsh and mean to me. Many times he hurt my feelings but still forgive him. But recently, I decided to set boundaries to him and let him go as my bestfriend. I don't like confrontation so I just try to avoid and share personal things to him. He is still one my friend but not that deep level of friendship.
What causes me to disappear from a friend is deception, lies, or manipulation of any kind. I cannot tolerate! I need totally genuine kind people around me.
My new boyfriend is an ISFP and and as an INFJ I am so grateful for such insight on yourself and your generosity of knowledge. Would you personally ever consider an INFJ partner? I have read and heard that they are not a good match; but like you, time has a way of sharpening the dullness of who we are, and it doesn’t take me nearly as long to discern if someone is compatible. This time is different. I met an artist. And he intrigued me like no one has. He is so real and genuine and gentle, and I am here trying to understand him more since we have only been dating for two weeks. I’m subscribed to your channel! You are so cool! Keep up the talks. I am learning a lot.
I truly believe any relationship can work if the two people are both completely committed to making it work, regardless of type. I am not saying that some types might not be better for each other, leading to an easier time establishing a successful relationship; but any types can make it work if they both really want to.
As an ISFP, I am very tolerant but I will definitely start ignoring people when I no longer want to be around them. When I’m done, I won’t think twice about confronting a person and telling them I’m done and why. There’s not much sadness or regret once I burn that bridge. It’s done, I’m moving on. Whenever there is obvious conflict that I caused, I want to resolve it immediately because I want to be in a good present. I am not against confrontation but I’d rather not have to do it every time I interact with someone.
When I broke off a childhood friendship it felt like a weight off my shoulders. So much so, that I didn't even mourn it. To this day, this friendship has a significant scar in my mind for all the things that I was said to me, done to me. Undermining my feelings and values, making me feel bad to who I was, and slighting me on different occasions which made me feel like an outcast or not good enough; either alone or sometimes in front of others. Like I was too basic to hang with them at times. I have to constantly remind myself to give the many instances of hurt to God so I can heal, but they occasionally come back to me like flashbacks. It's like trauma. I felt like I couldn't escape, especially when they would do thoughtful things for me on every once in a while. Still, I knew the only way that I'd be able to leave was through a fight (an argumentative one). Which happened over my birthday weekend. It wasn't explosive or anything, but it was the straw that broke the camel's back. Luckily I had my best friends to back me up. A year prior to the incident, I started crying as I relayed my feelings to them about how they made me feel and how it made me not want to be friends with them anymore, and at the very end of our friendship, they used that and some other things against me in the very end, which proved my point. I grew up, with the naive mindset that if we hung out a lot and I enjoyed your company, you were my best friend, but that mindset was slowly chipped away by my school peers as well as that person. But until a certain point, I wasn't thought of as their best friend, despite us always hanging out together. More times than not, I couldn't understand myself enough to tell them why I couldn't conform to their ideas and morals. Why I couldn't just 'step outside my box'. I often asked myself, why couldn't they just respect me for who I am, understand my likes and dislikes and not try to come near the line. My inner self always knew to keep a distance, but again, it was hard. We lived right next to each other for most of our time knowing each other. I used to tell my family and other friends about how they would act towards me, and when they would call out their behavior I would try to back them up by saying 'no, they're not like that it's just...." and never could give a proper explanation. I did this because they told me 'they weren't like that', and I took their word for it. It's been a few years since I ended our friendship, and the blindfold they had on me was finally removed over time. I don't feel hatred toward them. I've even had thoughts about checking up on them, but I'm just traumatized. They weren't a good person to be around and God saw my turmoil and removed it from my life. To Him, as well as my true friends, I'm eternally grateful.
INFP but there are definitely a number of things that are very familiar with you guys. Unfortunately I do hold grudges and overanalyze the hell out of things as you might expect with that rampant Ne (I know I'm not supposed to but it still happens :-/ ) but I don't like a lot of outward drama about it so I will typically ghost the person without saying anything. My ESTJ mom didn't like my advice when I suggested multiple times that she ghost a family member who has been repeatedly hateful towards her. It's not like it would mean that person didn't exist and there's no reason she can't pray for them from a distance but still! There is nothing wrong with boundaries! And yeah, I am far more pissed off about the fact that this person has gone after my mom, than I would be if they took a shot at me.
i recognise this as a fellow INFP - the rumination is real 😅 and i’m a serial ghoster but people have to really have pushed me beyond the limit for me to get to that stage, especially if we’ve been close. i’ve tried to get better at issuing warnings before getting to that point, but it’s rare that i see people with the maturity to have those conversations. the only people i can openly pull up about their behaviour and see actual change are two NT friends, who i appreciate immensely. because apologies are never enough - there has to be change too.
as a isfp 7w6 this is so true, especially the negativity thing! this video is spot on 😭 learning how to be more confrontational tho I try to avoid conflict at all costs...
Ever since I did the test and found out I’m an ISFP, I’ve seen this whole 16 personalities thing as vague descriptions of people’s behavior that could literally fit anyone. These past few days I’ve been watching some videos about it and started to identify with ISFP depictions more and more. However, this video feels as if someone had been reading my mind for the past 20-something years of my life and decided to document it for others to see. Don’t know if I’m thrilled or terrified.
I feel like I should share this with some people in my life kind of as an explanation, but I don’t think I will because of the confrontations it might bring. Oh god.
I'm ISFP. I usually don't connect with people I don't have to or don't like, which creates a situation where even if someone's behavior is wrong in my eyes, they're usually not important enough for me to care or bother avoiding, and I don't mind being rude to them either if they stick around. If it is an important relationship personally or practically, I will stay as long as I can tolerate, and will be sure to be open, try and talk things through and make things better, make them see and understand, and understand them. It's only when I'm proven these efforts are in vain and no warnings are working that I give up, and usually I don't disappear, I just say I'm done. I tell them and everyone who cares to ask. I need to feel peaceful when I enter any relationship, and I need to feel peaceful when I leave it. And if I feel like avoiding them, it means to me that I'm not really done with them. When I'm done, I simply don't care anymore.
I relate to this i was mistypesd as an isfj then an infp. Just to now learn im an isfp. I find i do this alot im so happy to see that others do this cuz ive had people in past say in unhealthy or toxic for doing this when im just trying to protect myself. Ive just learned thew experience its better to just leave then confront someone cuz well it can get messy real fast.
@@myisfpjourney7813 I didn’t mean to pressure you or anything. I just wanted to remind you that you made this video when you only had 50 people following you. You’ve come a long way 😁
My daughter is an ISFP, and she cut us out of her life. At one point, we saw her for 20 minutes over 8 years. She even did this when she was homeless. But the problem is deeper. She is taking medicine, and is better. Yes, this was helpful.
@@myisfpjourney7813 My daughter is now 49 years old. I try to stay out of her life as much as I can. She sees me as meddling in her life, if I even phone her to see how she is doing. She stayed with us for a few days in the spring, and she said, Mom, I'm never coming back here. Needless to say, that was very painful.
@@irenemcnamara9699 - that’s very direct. It would take a lot to get me to the point that I would ever be that direct. But life experiences do lead us each to places that others might not go.
@@myisfpjourney7813 Yes. I was wondering if she has been mistyped. She is a math major, and has only recently been showing any feeling tendencies. But the test said she is an ISFP, and I think this is correct because she is a caregiver.
As an INFJ listening to this talk on ISFP (new boyfriend), I thought for a second he was talking about INFJ’s, because I can’t stand seeing people mean to others. My empathy for the mistreated can physically affect me. So at 55 years old, after years of life, if someone doesn’t bring peace and happiness into my life, and the lives of others, I prefer to be alone (I’m happy and peaceful 😊).
To elaborate on not feeling guilt when doing our disappearing act, usually we give chances upon chances upon chances before we do it, whether made known to the other person or not. It's not a light decision to make, so when we do make it, most likely we're gone for good. Because we're careful to make sure this is the right decision for either ourselves or for others, we rarely feel guilt or regret.
As an ISFP, I am in the disappearing phase right now. I am tired of being an outcast in my community according to their standards and lack of positivity in my family environment. I want to follow my own standards and have a peaceful life. If that means I have to be alone for a while, I am willing to take that challenge to see a different outcome.
This just happened to me recently. I have neighbors, they're people that i respect because they're friends with my mother, but one day i don't understand what's going on with them but they always sideeyeing me and be mean to me, i try to be patient and try to makes everything better and treat them good as always but you know what they don't change and still being mean to me. So, i just feel tired of it and after that i cut them out cz i'm exactly like you, don't want to confort them and just let they do what they want to do and just don't want to meet them anymore after that, and i feel better lol (no regret at all). The second one about dissapearing is also right, i ghost a lots of people without even try to, it's just happens, pretty sure we ISFP just build like that lol, i even can live alone in a house without people and still be fine with it. I'm happy i found my people.
I am always an ISFP since first time doing my test many years ago and can relate 99% to this video. I've been in all those situation of letting go, being extra patience, and facing several super negative people who crossed the lines and went extra length to cut them out of my life. But after the pandemics has gone more than a year, I started to sway to the ISFJ side, with very thin 51% J - 49% P. Guess the environment really can affect the perspective and way of thinking of a person.
I just mentally disappear/disengage when I can't physically remove myself. I do try to communicate, if I care enough. But I won't try more than twice. So when an ISFP doesn't engage with you, yep, you're persona non grata.
Lately I stopped calling my sister for being overly negative & pessimistic. I’ve told her many times every time I was in touch with her, I would be in a bad mood and everything will be off.
With me especially now I realize really quick who I don’t wanna be around and I just don’t even give them my time of day. Even if I hold a grudge with a person I won’t show it to not cause drama. But most times I speak up if someone is treating me or someone else terribly because I have a really low tolerance for people who are inconsiderate and stupid😂 I can’t stand people who are really oblivious to their actions.
I will confront them if they will not let me get away from them without that happening. Which, when it comes to men being interested "in me", happened quite often. I got stalked, a lot.
I (ISFP) will ghost on people 100%, generally if they are gossiping, controlling, or negative. As I've gotten older, I find I'm quicker to do this. I just really need my peace.
I know I can switch to uninterested in someone fast. I do often often think why or what it is that makes me feel done with those ppl. I think it’s how you said- we’re kind of “patient” because we live in the here and now so don’t harp on those traits that annoy us, upset us, or make our environment feel unpleasant. But eventually it gets to us and like a switch of a light I’m DONE! I withdraw and I can see how it seems sudden. Is this normal? Anyone else relate to that?
I never knew i am isfp until some of my fb friend list post about checking 16 personalities. What you said is true. I looked myself what i did in past. i feel uncomfortable / someone being mean to me often and cross the line. So i cut them off from my life. I ghost / block them. It's so stress for me to explain towards them & i just want to escape. Also I remembered what i did. I deactivate from Facebook just because i need time to be alone & etc. Then later i come back again after months i was away from media social.
Amanda Brown - I could see an INFP perhaps feeling this way as well...maybe. Thanks for watching and commenting. Please consider subscribing if you have not already.
@@myisfpjourney7813 I struggled figuring out of I was ISFP vs INFP but after watching many videos & reading a ton of articles explaining the difference between the two (plus I worked directly with a typing consultant) I have realized I am an INFP. The biggest difference between the two are your middle functions (Se\Ni & Ne\Si) and your relation to time & intuition. Most ISFP personalities are all about the present moment, want very much to engage with & experience sensory details, and though they may trust their intuition on some level are more likely to rely on objective sensory facts whereas most INFP personalities tend to focus on the past &\or future & forget to live in the present, would rather live in their heads than engage in the here & now (prefer to think about an experience rather than physically have it), and are very in touch with & trusting of their intuition over objective sensory data (the reality of their internal world is often more real to them than the actual reality of the external world). I hope this helps, it took me a lot of time & effort to learn these things & maybe in sharing what I've learned it will help others reach a conclusion faster if they're struggling to decide between the two types, ISFP & INFP. 😸
I had a friend that I ended up cutting off. He was always on discord so I deleted discord and refused to download it again for years. The rest of my friend group ended up having to move to a totally different social platform because I refused to download it due to not wanting to give that person a way to interact with me
It´s really amazing that like over 50 % of the people in my class are overly judgmental pessemistic as****** who make me feel really depressed....(excuse my language). It´s just not fun to sit with them in one room for 7 hours a day 5 days per week. Im done with this shit I don´t wanna go anymore. And apparently my parents won´t let me switch schools. yay love that for me. Well I only have 3 Years of school left so that´s really cool. Wish me luck ^^ and sorry for my grammar. I´m still learning
We basically prioritize our mental and emotional being over anything else. Others say "why would you change your plans/routine for that person? Why give them that power over your life?" But this is MY life and MY story to write, if I don't like someone and I want them out of my story then I don't mind making small changes in order to live a peaceful life, it's as simple as that
I relate to it so much.Sometimes i don't say things and fade away.But i faced some situations people wanted me back to and just talked to me about what is the problem.I think if the person worth it you can fix relations
I am always open to discussion and trying to find resolution. But I won’t waste my time unless I believe the other person is truly willing to listen and consider my perspective.
Actually we take so much time to exhaust our own energy figuring out what a person idended in order to spare the possible offender the discomfort of confrontation. I think we just try too hard to maintain peace when some real things need to be addressed. The burnout is so real, lol
I live by the motto of "disappearing slowly" when wanting to cut off ties with people that ties can be cut off. Tho i would also disappear to recharge and come back and act like an extrovert around others, then disappear again. People think im an extrovert cos of the intensity xD
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
We “DISAPPEAR “ because we recognize that we have lost our authenticity. We love deeply and feel hard-and that might equal how long we need - when we recognize we aren’t authentic, probably because we are so deeply hurt, and need to find our own way back…. Which will ultimately lead us back to our best friends
I'm definitely a disappearing artist. I kind of disappear accidentally, but if someone just gets me to the point where I'm done with them, I just make myself unavailable to them in any way. I won't make drama, I won't talk about them behind their back, I'll just disappear. If they notice and wonder what happened, that's on them, but I don't think too much about stuff like that. Generally speaking, people know how I feel about them. The phrase "I'm not responsible for what my face does when you open your mouth" definitely applies to me.
Thank you for your comment. I feel the same about all of this. Thank you for watching.
I feel the same way. Even if i tried to explain something. They won’t understand it. So, I’ll just move on and never talk to them again
LOL! I think my face has the same look. I too am a disappearing artist. It's in my DNA.
I'm an ISFP and this is me EXACTLY. I'm really good at letting things go for a while with people but there is definitely a line that gets crossed and then I'm absolutely done. And it has a lot to do with chaos and keeping the pleasant environment and keeping negativity away. Thanks for this!
Thank you for watching and commenting. I truly appreciate it
I'd live in my car to live in peace alone. I really would.
Then do it... Why would you tell everyone
Spent a year with just me and the dog in an RV; it was fantastic!
Yeah, I hide there sometimes to steal some peace if I can't get it anywhere else. Gets cold, though, and needs snacks. 😋🤗
this is so spot on! i tend to avoid arrogant, mean and negative people who make for an unpleasant environment. im not gonna go through the lengths to change a person, im just gonna avoid them. cuz like you said, i dont like what i become when im around them. i tend to get internally pissed off or having mean thoughts or feelings about a person. and instead of hating a person, im just gonna avoid them so they wont cause me hateful feelings.
"I just need to be alone for a week, a month , a year.." Yeah I hear you :D The funny thing though is I expect everyting to be the same when I return and I don't get why people are pissed off and confused. And I never learn. Kind of egoistical, isn't it?
Yes. I feel what you are saying. It really isn’t the most wonderful quality of the ISFP. But I want to be brutally honest. Good and bad! Thank you so much for watching. I do appreciate it.
I relate to this so much-
I get why people are pissed off. If someone disappears on me I'm not happy either. I don't get why they can't get over it, though
As an INFP when I get ghosted, if it's someone I care about I get really nervous, racking my brain for things I might have done wrong, and worried for their safety and well being. If I don't care about them as much I may do those things or, if I had negative feelings towards them for some reason, I might feel relieved that it happened without me being the responsible party.
No one deserve to be judged.
As an ISFP I used to have really close friends that I just slooowly grew distant of for certain reasons. I would find a close friend in a class then once we stop talking because of school break we would just start stop talking to each other... I'd get really insecure and have thoughts that "Okay clearly they dont miss you, sophia.. why even bother message them first?" "They mustve found someone new".. It's really sad. When I get messages from other people im not really close with, or people who are popular who overwhelm me sometimes I would just leave them on seen and forget to reply. Days would go on.. and Id not even bother messaging back. Its so weird of me.. theyd jokingly say im a snob, seener, inbox-er. They dont dislike me or anything, they just know i can dissappear and come back like nothing happened!!
But luckily I found my 2 closest friends and we're still talking ofc. I would do the disappearing act to them sometimes too but they know that its normal of me to do so
I have had similar experiences
As an ISFP everything you said was 100% relatable to me. I also would add to the list when someone’s very clingy and annoying. Not respecting my space. Like you said one or two times I’ll ignore it. If it’s constant I’ll start distancing myself.
I as a ISFP I am a forgive and forget kind of person, one of my pet peeves is grudge holding and I can't stand it. I can relate to want a pleasant environment. Growing up with a hateful older brother and angry father I really value when times are peaceful and calm.
Hey. You doing ok?
I find that I am too tolerating for too long of negative behavior and remove myself too late from the situation. Sometimes I do have those blow-up moments and then remove myself from the situation. Other times I will say nothing and turn and walk out. If they pick a fight with me, I will defend my peace of mind honestly to make them shut up so I can be alone and by myself. I am very honest about how I feel about situations but I do not directly confront others. I may tell them that this is what I need or to please stop doing what they are doing. I am a fighter for my own peace and turn into an agitated, angry person when someone is disturbing my peace. I really get that. Unfortunately, there are people in my life I need to tend to and I have a harder time cutting people out that I need to. Saying no is difficult. But I totally relate to this video.
anoncactus thank you for watching and commenting. I agree with what you say. And I have blown up and confronted people, but that is rare. That mainly happens when I don’t have the option of escape.
I will definitely blow up if I can't escape beforehand.
I do hold grudges unfortunately. If I don't get an explanation of why they did what they did, nor remorse from their side (an authentic apology), then I have difficulties forgiving. But I'm not vengeful, I kind of put them on the bad people list and the first reaction is to just try and avoid them. But if it's someone I have to be around on a regular basis, and they repeat their behaviour over and over, at some point I will confront them. I never could totally relate to the conflict-avoiding-at-all cost trait of ISFPs. I want harmony, but sometimes conflict is needed in order for it to be true harmony.
salukyh - I agree. If I can’t get away from the person, eventually I will be pushed to the point that I have to confront him or her.
I hold grudges to an almost unhealthy extent. I cannot seem to forgive some people who I feel like have done me wrong. I am very "live and let live" and I know I'm not perfect, but I try to be a good person and I will absolutely take a lot of crap from people I'm close to, so I think that's why when I feel I've been taken advantage of or treated unfairly by people, I take it extremely personally. I disappear, but after I confront them. I do not leave them wondering where I've gone. lol
@@jehcee1 Same same. Most of the time if someone upsets me, I honestly just forget why I'm mad after a short amount of time, But if you upset me a lot...( Like I found out my partner was lying to my for YEARS) oh the grudge is SO STRONG! The pain was so real over and over, like I need to forget it almost and the only way to forget is to cut someone out.
I am a grudge holder too, but only if you matter enough for me to hold the grudge. Otherwise, you just fall off my radar.
i relate to this so much. i dropped out of law school and bought a plane ticket just to cut off a toxic person.
Wow! That’s extreme. But I think I would do the same if needed
@@myisfpjourney7813 yeah a little extreme, but i lived with that person, and endured it for 2 years. One day i just realized i've had enough and left.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@addie4548 I did something like this too, moved to my moms house 3 states away instead of just breaking up. He wouldn't let me walk to the store down the street, then I moved .
Wow im a isfp and i do the same thing i take off for months been thru so many friends and some i never came back to always wondered why im this way just glad i aint the only one. Gj on the video god bless.
Andre Melo - You are definitely not the only one. We ISFPs are great disappearing artists. Thank you for watching and commenting . It is much appreciated.
This is basically the synopsis of my therapy session today -- avoiding negative people everyday
Ha! Sounds nice. We need negativity for the sake of being grounded; but a little negativity goes a long way.
12:17 - 🎵 Why you gotta be so ruuude~ 🎶
(one of my favorite old pop songs) 🤘🏾
I'm an ENFJ fully committed to an ISFP. Thanks for the valuable insight! 🙏🏾
I'm an isfp and this is really spot on. 😂 I can tolerate people one time. But if it keeps happening I'll just instantly block them and avoid them forever 😂
Im an ISFP, and i have been having trouble with myself about finding why im cutting certain people and why im avoiding these people. I thought it was just all me, hating people for no reason. Now it all make sense! I can see now that there were “incidents” before i just give up trying to maintain my friendships with these people. I appreciate your content. This helps me alot
You had me, ISFP, in the first minute! Such a great video and lesson-because I feel understood
Yes, I can relate to this video so much! I usually don't cut someone out of my life if it's for something petty, stupid, even if I get a little mad about it, and I'm not confrontational.
But if someone is mistreating me, toxic behavior, too much negativity, or I don't like the attitude because of something that person did, or said (how they treat other people) that was mean and it's the same thing quite a few times, I will cut that person out of my life without a hesitation. It takes alot and once my mind is made up I'm out. Also, I like to socialize with small group of friends, and I definitely need my alone time.
As an IFSP I have had to train myself.
1. I tell rude people that I prefer being with polite and considerate folks. (Hard to say when you want to be loved all the time…). I tell them how I feel when I am with them. I don’t point a finger at them and force them to defend themselves - I talk about myself and my reactions. In that way I feel I give them enough possibility to change their behavior if they want to be with me.
2. If they continue draining me I cut them out totally. Sometimes with an explanation, but often not. Having told them clearly in advance is in my mind enough, and I think that I have kept my integrity and done the right thing.
3. I don’t bear grudge. Some people just aren’t up to my standards.
4. I sense that kind of people straight away now, and just don’t get involved.
I am definitely an ISFP type A (assertive). Extremely sensitive, but on “Big Five” I score very low on neuroticism. Maybe that helps.
Not being rude & a good environment is everything!
Thank you for vocalizing this, totally vibe with this 100%!
I have bouts of time where i honestly want to just cut certain people out because they are either rude or pollute their surroundings with pessimism.
Either they learn not to be like that or i don't spend any more time at all with them.
-ISFP
Im a ENTP and we can easily be seen as rude or pessimist. We are valuable and essential and if you are dealing with them just own your boundaries and they will respect them....mostly.....but you gotta own them clearly and directly.
My fiancé is ISFP and we compliment each other as long as she doesn't take me too seriously and im not judgmental....which we nailed those things
I became negative because of some mean people who are close with me. I can't help being the negative person when I'm with my friends. This is hard.
You had it pretty perfect to me but I do sometimes hold grudges usually not, a couple months ago I disappeared from my friends lives for months and after coming back to then now I’m growing sick of their negativity and hatefulness and am completely avoiding them and finding new groups of people to be around
I recently learned i’m a ISFP “A”. You explain and described the details perfectly. Hopefully this will help me and my job ISFP. Thank you!!!
Ban people from my life, check!
Quiet environment, nice people around me, check!
Don't confront, turn around and walk away, check!
I feel my very best when I am alone and love to be alone. And indeed, only the feeling I get when the thought of disappearing comes in is so strong. People I've said goodbye to in the past will never see me again! I have no need for that any more
Agreed
As a fellow ISFP I wish I could give you more than one like
I did this with a childhood friend. We were in college and we had a big fight because she was trying to push me around and I wouldn’t let her. She looked wild eyed and said I lost control of you. WTF? What kind of crap is that? So I moved out, I got a new phone number, I got a private mailbox and I told my mom not to talk to her mom about me for the rest of our lives. I’m 63, and I haven’t talked to her since I was 23. She knew she was doing harm all along, and when I know that someone is harming me deliberately I’M DONE!
Makes sense to me. Sometimes, people only bring pain. There is just no reason to keep those people in your life.
Thank you! This is quite helpful for me. I avoid people who make me hate the way I behave around them. Sometimes I can't figure out what it is exactly but it's hard to be negative, angry or resentful so I avoid interacting with those people. It is hell for me right now because I am unable to avoid one such person. The painful thing is that I think I am responsible for part of the negativity. It eats away at me. I feel like a horrible person.
Someone close to me invalidates my emotions, rights and desire do certain things. They're little things but it happens constantly and I have this bottled up resentment. I don't want to tell them what's wrong because there has never been an occasion when they are willing to listen to me. Even if they do, it's in a condescending/insincere way like, "I'll do as you say just so you'll stop fussing over it." Then they do it again. Because of this, I simply give the silent treatment with no explanation. They think I'm crazy and sulk for no reason. It doesn't solve anything for me either. I'm stuck.
I have experienced this on many occasions. You have put my own experiences into very well-said words. I want to grow to the point that these situations Don not bother me. But it is very hard to do. That is why I usually try to find a way to cut that person out. But that can I always be done. I am going to do a video soon on personal growth that will tackle how I am learning to deal with this problem. Thank you for watching and commenting.
@@myisfpjourney7813 Thank you very much for taking the time to reply! I'm sure the video on personal growth will be very helpful for me!
I definitely learned throughout my life that often it's best to just remove myself from people that I clash with. I definitely don't want negativity or craziness around me. I feel too much like a sponge that sucks up all those vibes and then it messes with my own life and distracts me. Cant have that for too long. The one thing that really bothers me is selfish people. Probably the most people I have cut out are the drama queens and kings that make everything about themselves and also the kind of people that cant get out of their own negativity. I dont know how to help those kinds of people and I cant take constant rambling about negativity.
Cool video dude, I subbed! ISFPs unite, hehe :)
I hate hearing someone unfairly running down another person. I feel the need to defend the absent party. Have made some enemies in doing it, but I'm okay with that. I don't want people judged without a trial.
Racism is a no no in my friend group. I am totally turned off by it.
Being asked to not be me, is the same as saying goodbye to me, cos I'm outties.
R M - thanks for watching and commenting. I appreciate your thoughts.
Also...OH GOD I HAD THAT COWORKER. I admit I'm a snarkbucket myself but sometimes it's just because the snarkiness was funny in my head. I didn't have the freedom to avoid that person like you did so I finally had to go to them and explain that I felt uncomfortable when they threw shade about my coworkers behind their backs and I didn't want to be a part of those conversations. Surprisingly that actually helped somewhat and it turned out that I was one of the only people in the office that actually confronted them. Which was shocking as hell considering I'm an INFP because I actually don't confront people often and I would've thought one of the extraverts would do it but apparently not. That person definitely did not change but they kept their distance a bit. I was soooooooooo glad when they transferred though. Thank God!!!
I'm an ISFP and I'm going through a conflict with my friends rn. It's so hard to hold this conflict I'm a really peaceful person. When someone is rude and/or mean to me I'm just trying to dissapear from the situation I don't want to confrontate I only want to fullfill my energy. I can be patient and close my eyes on the bad things ppl are doing to me BUT if I'm going to forgive this person I need time to be alone bc I can't hold it anymore at this point. And when it's happening a plenty amount of times I just stop communicate with this person bc it's a burning out point.
When the world is overwhelming I need to breathe (lyric from Marina's song - happy loner)
Off topic, but the birds chirping outside your place gave a nice feeling to the video! I love it when birds come to my house and I can feed them and just see them being full 😀
I’m a bird lover.
Wow I'm shocked at how much this resonated for me. Great video 👍🏼
OK, this is exactly the thing I’ve been struggling with recently. this video really reassured me. I have been distancing myself from a friend because of the way she behaves around me. We used to be pretty good friends when we first got to know each other at university we shared some nice time, but as time goes by and we become closer, she started to be really pessimistic and negative (I think that’s truly who she is and I couldn’t care less to change that). I found myself usually feeling really drained and annoyed after spending time with her and I didn’t even know why until I really started to think back to what she has been talking to me about all day. They were all negative sayings, rant about coursework, rant about people around us, and disbelief in herself, always talking about how tired she is and how annoyed she is with the world and how much work she’s gotta get done etc. at first I tried to encourage her, but she ended up not believing me anyway. And whenever we share our opinion about a movie that we watched, whatever my opinion was, she had to say the opposite of it, and sometimes her reasons doesn’t even make sense and I feel like she just wants to dismiss anything I had to say, it’s really not a pleasant environment. I have trouble expressing to her that I’m annoyed, Because it would mean to ruin the pleasant environment and I’d rather just avoid confrontation so i distanced myself. But at the same time holding the negative emotions back, the annoyance slowly grew into resentment, and it really feels bad when I have this hateful feeling in myself, and I tried really hard to tell myself that I should not be affected by her actions. What you said in the video about how I just want to be in a nice environment a pleasant environment and I don’t want negativity and mean rude people around me is exactly why I’ve been constantly avoiding her and I have not realize that prior to watching this video, I have been feeling so guilty for really disliking her deep down and distancing myself from her and not being able to at least confront her with the issue, but now I know all I want is to be away from negative people and that is completely within my rights to do. (P.s. One very specific thing that really raised a friendship red flag for me was when we played animal crossing together, and she would talk to the game and would use the rudest words I’ve ever heard in my life and yell at her animal villagers... I don’t understand how someone can be rude to game characters, and in her words, that’s what she always do with games and that’s just who she is. It sort of shows me how her mind functions internally, and it really scares me.)
I get this way when it comes to my work environment and have to deal with coworkers that are negative gossipers....especially when they try to pull me into it, that's where I draw the line. Just do your own thing, I'll do mine and there are no problems^^ But please, do not involve me in your pessimism...I don't wanna feel like that ;-; or take part in harming someone else's feelings
Yes!
I just lost my ISFP gf of 3 years, like she just walked out on me without warning. I didn't see it coming . I am INTJ , all the time I was trying to solve this relationship crisis as a problem that only Logic and reason can unravel....ii was taking OUT all emotions altogether , while I (now i know after your video) ,how she looked at the same situation ..was ALL emotion.. no wonder it crashed ... architect male to adventurer female ...dont seem to be able to match even the end of the earth.
I’m sorry that your relationship fell apart. You should watch my video on ISFP INTP relationship. I know you are not INTP, but some of the same issues are addressed. Thanks for watching. Hope you find the right person.
I once had a friend that I liked. It then lead to days of me finding a way to be with him. Or like stay in common places that we'd hang out. Suddenly a realization hit me that this person cannot meet the appreciation I had for him. Because of that, I never talked to him for a year. It seemed hard for the other person, because we are classmates. We always see each other. But I can take it. I wouldn't care. I thought it was just me, but yeah. This had happened 8 years ago, now we're good friends.
I think I've matured as an ISFP. Instead of pushing the person, I tend to know the reason. Like I base it all on my feelings and what do I sense with the person. And personally, I have been getting good at sensing the intention of the person. When the person is someone I don't want to be with, I simply repel. When the person is okay, I can tolerate. But nothing beats a personal alone time. Me time is way better.
What I say is ISFPs will eventually mature on this. We are the most empathetic ones out if the 16 for a reason. We tend to take the high ground when it's needed - to protect us.
I've cut a best friend out of my life. Put up with his negativity for over a decade. Then just cut them out. Gone.
Sometimes that’s just what you have to do to stay sane.
Is it weird that i have this kind of philosophy since i was a kid?
@@Pkjopjpo-zm7dy nope. I have too
@@myisfpjourney7813 yay
To your point about people making the environment bad. That's a HUGE YES! My grandfather will be miserable at times for no reason, and WHO'S USED TO LIVING BY HERSELF, can be very naggy, and that's not what me and my mom are about. Naggy, asking so many questions, being slick at times. She even told me I had to change of my pajamas while I'm walking around the house. And my mom didn't even back me up, because we live with older judgmental family, and she's also not a confrontational person and also would like to keep the peace. I don't confront the ridiculousness out of her respect for my elders. I love her and she's now someone else I can also confide in with my spiritual journey, but she's been on my 'watchout' list since elementary school. She makes me feel like I always have to wear and mask but that was quickly thrown out the door because you're literally making my environment unpleasant, and are asking me to conform to ideas and rules that I didn't grow up having to deal with IN THE COMFORT OF MY HOME. I didn't wanna do it. I tried to keep the calm and remain to myself, but I keep getting pushed to use my offense. Even my mom sometimes gets me upset saying, "we're living with other people now' and I'm like so? And? What that gotta do with me? And you know you don't like it either. We complain to each other. Before knowing who I was, I felt like a misunderstood brat that would flip-flop between emotions and whose family had to tiptoe around; and yes it makes me feel bad, but I am a work in progress. I'm working on my temper and trying to calmy articulate my issue with a situation that I have without flying off the handle. It doesn't always work, but I'll get there.
I can relate to this video to a lot.I have cuttoff like 95%people (relative's family)from my and my family life after i lost my father and realised i just become a person who is angery holds grudges to an extent that even thinking about their names or by mistakle seeing their profile pics gives me back trauma and my life where they messed up with my mental health flashes right in my mind .But i have this kind of behaviour for only this particular set of people who are just theirto humiliate me and my family and i did everything in my control cause my mental health and peace matters the most and now when they call for ritual sake of asking how we are doing and digging our life and making us sad i am turing my filght mode on as cant delete contact as i dont ever by mistakely pick up an unknown number call which i might endup recieving from them.and i recrntly met one of those people i just avioded even eye contact and ignored but my face lol showed how i feel about them 😂
Jason, I can absolutely relate to this. I too desire a calm enviroment. A feel good in The present.
I had this guy at work. He would always scream and talk very very loud. And The way to get your attention was to scream loud near you. It sometimes made me really angry. AND tired!
I also agree on that I Will neither go to lenghts to try and get this person to understand why I dont like to be around them, but very close ppl to me, I can sometimes do an effort to tell them and on The totally oposite side, if I reeeeeally dont like The person, I rarely can walk up and burn all bridges. You are a horrible person!!
But thats very rare. I dont like confrontation either
kim jurs thank you for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it. It is always interesting to see if other ISFPs relate to what I say.
what you just said, describes me perfectly. I'm very good at disappearing for long periods. It's just something I need to do to rediscover my center. & no I will never confront the person who is being mean or ugly to others. But if they make me feel bad or upset being around them. For too long. I suddenly will leave the negative energy. And will not look back or be sorry. They sometimes accuse me of being too touchy. But I no longer care how they view me at that point. my emotional health is very important to me. Sometimes I wait too long before leaving a negative person. Thank you for being completely open.
Thank you for commenting and the encouragement
I've mastered the disappearing act too haha.
wow! so right on! Thank you for explaining what the isfp likes and won't tolerate in relationships!
I was an ISTP until I went through some tough periods in my life now I'm an ISFP... I used to work in a really BAD & TOXIC environment. I did not confront the xx who had a HUGE impact on me both physically and mentally. And I just knew nothing would change if I confronted them. So few months in I reported it and it went downhill from there lol. It got so much worst that I just shut down and just couldn't take any tasks or even look at their faces lol. I had several breakdowns in front of people. So I just quit. Life is much better now. Thank God. Thank you for this video I totally relate.
True... Most of the time it's about the environment. If someone wanna burst my peaceful,positive,happy,bubble, I try to bear with him/her. But we all got our limits. I literally try to *disappear* or *run away* from that person or else all the thing I do around them is super fake. I can fake it to the point that they've no idea about what I think but I hate myself when I do that. So I simply shut myself to them.
I feel that
@@myisfpjourney7813 🥺❤
I relate to this perfectly, as I was pretty good friends with someone (they are an INFP), and the relationship got...a little bit much, so yadda yadda, it got to a point where they showed signs of...uhhm..a lot of "clinginess"? Like the "not going to let you go" kind of stuff. It got pretty bad, and a LOT of bad and very emotional arguments happened. So, I decided to lie about going on a vacation trip, and I ghosted them. Immediately, without any feeling of doing anything wrong. I did go back, and confront them, and tell them, and yeah now it's over, even though they still seemingly think it's not over. But yeah, removing them from my life (hopefully forever) has made me WAY happier and nicer of a person. I never want to speak to them again, but I still love them in the sense that I don't want them hurt.
I understand that.
Wow. If this isn't the most relatable video ever. Thanks man, great video
As an turbulent Isfp I can 100% relate!!
I have a hard time cutting people off that I really like. Setting boundaries is also a big problem but I’m working on it.💪🏾
I so can relate to this when you cut some people out of your life because of something they did that you hate. What's crazy is I was seen as a "fake", that you're just there then all of a sudden you're gone. Somehow they can make it seem that way. 🤦 When in reality is you just want to have peace in your life so you cut them off. 🤦
I'm an ISFP. This is really me! I have a bestfriend for many year since highschool. Because of our closeness sometimes he is so harsh and mean to me. Many times he hurt my feelings but still forgive him. But recently, I decided to set boundaries to him and let him go as my bestfriend. I don't like confrontation so I just try to avoid and share personal things to him. He is still one my friend but not that deep level of friendship.
What causes me to disappear from a friend is deception, lies, or manipulation of any kind. I cannot tolerate! I need totally genuine kind people around me.
My new boyfriend is an ISFP and and as an INFJ I am so grateful for such insight on yourself and your generosity of knowledge. Would you personally ever consider an INFJ partner? I have read and heard that they are not a good match; but like you, time has a way of sharpening the dullness of who we are, and it doesn’t take me nearly as long to discern if someone is compatible. This time is different. I met an artist. And he intrigued me like no one has. He is so real and genuine and gentle, and I am here trying to understand him more since we have only been dating for two weeks. I’m subscribed to your channel! You are so cool! Keep up the talks. I am learning a lot.
I truly believe any relationship can work if the two people are both completely committed to making it work, regardless of type. I am not saying that some types might not be better for each other, leading to an easier time establishing a successful relationship; but any types can make it work if they both really want to.
As an ISFP, I am very tolerant but I will definitely start ignoring people when I no longer want to be around them. When I’m done, I won’t think twice about confronting a person and telling them I’m done and why. There’s not much sadness or regret once I burn that bridge. It’s done, I’m moving on. Whenever there is obvious conflict that I caused, I want to resolve it immediately because I want to be in a good present. I am not against confrontation but I’d rather not have to do it every time I interact with someone.
Good thoughts. Thanks for sharing
When I broke off a childhood friendship it felt like a weight off my shoulders. So much so, that I didn't even mourn it. To this day, this friendship has a significant scar in my mind for all the things that I was said to me, done to me. Undermining my feelings and values, making me feel bad to who I was, and slighting me on different occasions which made me feel like an outcast or not good enough; either alone or sometimes in front of others. Like I was too basic to hang with them at times. I have to constantly remind myself to give the many instances of hurt to God so I can heal, but they occasionally come back to me like flashbacks. It's like trauma. I felt like I couldn't escape, especially when they would do thoughtful things for me on every once in a while. Still, I knew the only way that I'd be able to leave was through a fight (an argumentative one). Which happened over my birthday weekend. It wasn't explosive or anything, but it was the straw that broke the camel's back. Luckily I had my best friends to back me up. A year prior to the incident, I started crying as I relayed my feelings to them about how they made me feel and how it made me not want to be friends with them anymore, and at the very end of our friendship, they used that and some other things against me in the very end, which proved my point.
I grew up, with the naive mindset that if we hung out a lot and I enjoyed your company, you were my best friend, but that mindset was slowly chipped away by my school peers as well as that person. But until a certain point, I wasn't thought of as their best friend, despite us always hanging out together. More times than not, I couldn't understand myself enough to tell them why I couldn't conform to their ideas and morals. Why I couldn't just 'step outside my box'. I often asked myself, why couldn't they just respect me for who I am, understand my likes and dislikes and not try to come near the line. My inner self always knew to keep a distance, but again, it was hard. We lived right next to each other for most of our time knowing each other.
I used to tell my family and other friends about how they would act towards me, and when they would call out their behavior I would try to back them up by saying 'no, they're not like that it's just...." and never could give a proper explanation. I did this because they told me 'they weren't like that', and I took their word for it. It's been a few years since I ended our friendship, and the blindfold they had on me was finally removed over time. I don't feel hatred toward them. I've even had thoughts about checking up on them, but I'm just traumatized. They weren't a good person to be around and God saw my turmoil and removed it from my life. To Him, as well as my true friends, I'm eternally grateful.
INFP but there are definitely a number of things that are very familiar with you guys. Unfortunately I do hold grudges and overanalyze the hell out of things as you might expect with that rampant Ne (I know I'm not supposed to but it still happens :-/ ) but I don't like a lot of outward drama about it so I will typically ghost the person without saying anything. My ESTJ mom didn't like my advice when I suggested multiple times that she ghost a family member who has been repeatedly hateful towards her. It's not like it would mean that person didn't exist and there's no reason she can't pray for them from a distance but still! There is nothing wrong with boundaries! And yeah, I am far more pissed off about the fact that this person has gone after my mom, than I would be if they took a shot at me.
i recognise this as a fellow INFP - the rumination is real 😅 and i’m a serial ghoster but people have to really have pushed me beyond the limit for me to get to that stage, especially if we’ve been close. i’ve tried to get better at issuing warnings before getting to that point, but it’s rare that i see people with the maturity to have those conversations. the only people i can openly pull up about their behaviour and see actual change are two NT friends, who i appreciate immensely. because apologies are never enough - there has to be change too.
as a isfp 7w6 this is so true, especially the negativity thing! this video is spot on 😭 learning how to be more confrontational tho I try to avoid conflict at all costs...
Bro keep it up , as this new channel will progress this will be big channel 👍👍
Before watching this video, I knew that I am an ISFP like 99.999%. After this video I am sure 200%😅 thanks
Thanks for watching
Ever since I did the test and found out I’m an ISFP, I’ve seen this whole 16 personalities thing as vague descriptions of people’s behavior that could literally fit anyone. These past few days I’ve been watching some videos about it and started to identify with ISFP depictions more and more. However, this video feels as if someone had been reading my mind for the past 20-something years of my life and decided to document it for others to see. Don’t know if I’m thrilled or terrified.
I feel like I should share this with some people in my life kind of as an explanation, but I don’t think I will because of the confrontations it might bring. Oh god.
I know that feeling very well. Thank you for watching
@@myisfpjourney7813 thank YOU for translating my feelings into words so accurately. I really admire your bravery in posting it, too. I could never!
Or who knows, maybe when I hit my 40s.
@@FB711_ - I really wanted people like me to know they aren’t crazy or weirdos
I'm ISFP. I usually don't connect with people I don't have to or don't like, which creates a situation where even if someone's behavior is wrong in my eyes, they're usually not important enough for me to care or bother avoiding, and I don't mind being rude to them either if they stick around.
If it is an important relationship personally or practically, I will stay as long as I can tolerate, and will be sure to be open, try and talk things through and make things better, make them see and understand, and understand them. It's only when I'm proven these efforts are in vain and no warnings are working that I give up, and usually I don't disappear, I just say I'm done. I tell them and everyone who cares to ask.
I need to feel peaceful when I enter any relationship, and I need to feel peaceful when I leave it. And if I feel like avoiding them, it means to me that I'm not really done with them. When I'm done, I simply don't care anymore.
This.
As an ISFP, I relate to this SO heavily.
I relate to this i was mistypesd as an isfj then an infp. Just to now learn im an isfp. I find i do this alot im so happy to see that others do this cuz ive had people in past say in unhealthy or toxic for doing this when im just trying to protect myself. Ive just learned thew experience its better to just leave then confront someone cuz well it can get messy real fast.
Very true
Honest and 100% appreciated
“I just hit 50 subs” I then check and you have 2k. Congrats man! 😁
@@Lordofthefliess I need to get back to making videos. I just feel so pressed for time.
@@myisfpjourney7813 I didn’t mean to pressure you or anything.
I just wanted to remind you that you made this video when you only had 50 people following you. You’ve come a long way 😁
@@Lordofthefliess I didn’t take it as pressure at all my friend
My daughter is an ISFP, and she cut us out of her life. At one point, we saw her for 20 minutes over 8 years. She even did this when she was homeless. But the problem is deeper. She is taking medicine, and is better. Yes, this was helpful.
How old is she?
@@myisfpjourney7813 My daughter is now 49 years old. I try to stay out of her life as much as I can. She sees me as meddling in her life, if I even phone her to see how she is doing. She stayed with us for a few days in the spring, and she said, Mom, I'm never coming back here. Needless to say, that was very painful.
@@irenemcnamara9699 - that’s very direct. It would take a lot to get me to the point that I would ever be that direct. But life experiences do lead us each to places that others might not go.
@@myisfpjourney7813 Yes. I was wondering if she has been mistyped. She is a math major, and has only recently been showing any feeling tendencies. But the test said she is an ISFP, and I think this is correct because she is a caregiver.
@@irenemcnamara9699 - the tests are very hit and miss
I'm an INFJ but I can relate with disappearing and doing all my best to cut someone off who doesn't make me feel good. 👀
As an INFJ listening to this talk on ISFP (new boyfriend), I thought for a second he was talking about INFJ’s, because I can’t stand seeing people mean to others. My empathy for the mistreated can physically affect me. So at 55 years old, after years of life, if someone doesn’t bring peace and happiness into my life, and the lives of others, I prefer to be alone (I’m happy and peaceful 😊).
To elaborate on not feeling guilt when doing our disappearing act, usually we give chances upon chances upon chances before we do it, whether made known to the other person or not.
It's not a light decision to make, so when we do make it, most likely we're gone for good. Because we're careful to make sure this is the right decision for either ourselves or for others, we rarely feel guilt or regret.
True
Great content! Well done
Abigail mcintyre - Thank you.
As an ISFP, I am in the disappearing phase right now. I am tired of being an outcast in my community according to their standards and lack of positivity in my family environment. I want to follow my own standards and have a peaceful life. If that means I have to be alone for a while, I am willing to take that challenge to see a different outcome.
Very relatable
This just happened to me recently. I have neighbors, they're people that i respect because they're friends with my mother, but one day i don't understand what's going on with them but they always sideeyeing me and be mean to me, i try to be patient and try to makes everything better and treat them good as always but you know what they don't change and still being mean to me. So, i just feel tired of it and after that i cut them out cz i'm exactly like you, don't want to confort them and just let they do what they want to do and just don't want to meet them anymore after that, and i feel better lol (no regret at all). The second one about dissapearing is also right, i ghost a lots of people without even try to, it's just happens, pretty sure we ISFP just build like that lol, i even can live alone in a house without people and still be fine with it. I'm happy i found my people.
I am always an ISFP since first time doing my test many years ago and can relate 99% to this video. I've been in all those situation of letting go, being extra patience, and facing several super negative people who crossed the lines and went extra length to cut them out of my life. But after the pandemics has gone more than a year, I started to sway to the ISFJ side, with very thin 51% J - 49% P. Guess the environment really can affect the perspective and way of thinking of a person.
I just mentally disappear/disengage when I can't physically remove myself. I do try to communicate, if I care enough. But I won't try more than twice. So when an ISFP doesn't engage with you, yep, you're persona non grata.
Agreed, 100%
Lately I stopped calling my sister for being overly negative & pessimistic. I’ve told her many times every time I was in touch with her, I would be in a bad mood and everything will be off.
I understand....completely.
With me especially now I realize really quick who I don’t wanna be around and I just don’t even give them my time of day. Even if I hold a grudge with a person I won’t show it to not cause drama. But most times I speak up if someone is treating me or someone else terribly because I have a really low tolerance for people who are inconsiderate and stupid😂 I can’t stand people who are really oblivious to their actions.
Relatable. I feel and act the same way.
Same. I often dissapear to avoid unpleasant situations or some people i don't like
The dissapearing thing is crazzzy relatable
Same … I only desire peace
I will confront them if they will not let me get away from them without that happening. Which, when it comes to men being interested "in me", happened quite often. I got stalked, a lot.
I (ISFP) will ghost on people 100%, generally if they are gossiping, controlling, or negative. As I've gotten older, I find I'm quicker to do this. I just really need my peace.
Ifsp and I have been going crazy all morning with the feeling of "gotta get away" but I simply can't hahah oh god
I know that feeling
I know I can switch to uninterested in someone fast. I do often often think why or what it is that makes me feel done with those ppl. I think it’s how you said- we’re kind of “patient” because we live in the here and now so don’t harp on those traits that annoy us, upset us, or make our environment feel unpleasant. But eventually it gets to us and like a switch of a light I’m DONE! I withdraw and I can see how it seems sudden. Is this normal? Anyone else relate to that?
I never knew i am isfp until some of my fb friend list post about checking 16 personalities.
What you said is true. I looked myself what i did in past. i feel uncomfortable / someone being mean to me often and cross the line. So i cut them off from my life. I ghost / block them. It's so stress for me to explain towards them & i just want to escape.
Also I remembered what i did. I deactivate from Facebook just because i need time to be alone & etc. Then later i come back again after months i was away from media social.
I just disappeared & after i come back on media social. My close fb friends wonder why i did that. 😅
thought i was infp but..think im isfp. I so feel this way.
Amanda Brown - I could see an INFP perhaps feeling this way as well...maybe. Thanks for watching and commenting. Please consider subscribing if you have not already.
@@myisfpjourney7813 I struggled figuring out of I was ISFP vs INFP but after watching many videos & reading a ton of articles explaining the difference between the two (plus I worked directly with a typing consultant) I have realized I am an INFP. The biggest difference between the two are your middle functions (Se\Ni & Ne\Si) and your relation to time & intuition. Most ISFP personalities are all about the present moment, want very much to engage with & experience sensory details, and though they may trust their intuition on some level are more likely to rely on objective sensory facts whereas most INFP personalities tend to focus on the past &\or future & forget to live in the present, would rather live in their heads than engage in the here & now (prefer to think about an experience rather than physically have it), and are very in touch with & trusting of their intuition over objective sensory data (the reality of their internal world is often more real to them than the actual reality of the external world).
I hope this helps, it took me a lot of time & effort to learn these things & maybe in sharing what I've learned it will help others reach a conclusion faster if they're struggling to decide between the two types, ISFP & INFP. 😸
I had a friend that I ended up cutting off. He was always on discord so I deleted discord and refused to download it again for years. The rest of my friend group ended up having to move to a totally different social platform because I refused to download it due to not wanting to give that person a way to interact with me
That’s pretty extreme; but I can relate.
It´s really amazing that like over 50 % of the people in my class are overly judgmental pessemistic as****** who make me feel really depressed....(excuse my language). It´s just not fun to sit with them in one room for 7 hours a day 5 days per week. Im done with this shit I don´t wanna go anymore. And apparently my parents won´t let me switch schools. yay love that for me. Well I only have 3 Years of school left so that´s really cool. Wish me luck ^^ and sorry for my grammar. I´m still learning
Your English is good. Where are you from?
@@myisfpjourney7813 I´m from germany
@@andtheywereroommates1989 - well thank you for watching. I appreciate it. Please consider subscribing if you have not already.
We basically prioritize our mental and emotional being over anything else.
Others say "why would you change your plans/routine for that person? Why give them that power over your life?"
But this is MY life and MY story to write, if I don't like someone and I want them out of my story then I don't mind making small changes in order to live a peaceful life, it's as simple as that
Agreed
Im an ENTP and i have 10 reasons why the notion :MY life" is fundamentally and practically wrong......
Bro, I completely resonate with u bcoz I'm an ISFP!
I think I can fall inlove with an ISFP in a day 🤣 I can totally relate. OMG
ISFP here! Relate to everything you said.
I relate to it so much.Sometimes i don't say things and fade away.But i faced some situations people wanted me back to and just talked to me about what is the problem.I think if the person worth it you can fix relations
I am always open to discussion and trying to find resolution. But I won’t waste my time unless I believe the other person is truly willing to listen and consider my perspective.
I'm an ISFP and I've been seeking this , we tend to be over looked or atleast I do 😶🌫️
ISFP’s take too many comments personally and see meanness in others, when most of the time there was zero disrespect. Exhausting.
Actually we take so much time to exhaust our own energy figuring out what a person idended in order to spare the possible offender the discomfort of confrontation. I think we just try too hard to maintain peace when some real things need to be addressed. The burnout is so real, lol
If it really is a zero disrespect then it should not make others feel bad.
Just bcoz u r ok with it, doesnt mean others will feel ok too.
Nice video! It totally relates to me! :)
I agree 100 percent with your video
Thank you for the feedback.
I live by the motto of "disappearing slowly" when wanting to cut off ties with people that ties can be cut off. Tho i would also disappear to recharge and come back and act like an extrovert around others, then disappear again. People think im an extrovert cos of the intensity xD
Spot on
I also disappear myself, sometimes I reappear at the wrong times and I have to disappear again
Nailed it!