You are truly an unsung hero. God is so please with you and how much you care about his children’s Remains. You are up there with police, firefighters,soldiers in war, humanitarians, first responders. I know God is pleased with the way you carry yourself and compassion did you take with peoples remains. You are truly special more than you know.
Thank you for the very clear explanation about cremation. It is helpful to know ahead of time about extra cremation costs for people over a certain weight - it makes complete sense. Well done!
Thanks for the information. Thats a good idea to do the tour I think its good for people to understand. They can explain the process if need be instead of them answering with I am not sure about this because I havent seen the entire process done. I believe that this also answers questions someone has on their mind. Some do not feel comfortable to ask the questions. Thanks again!
Thank you. My husband was cremated & the bag was actually heavy. He came to me in a plastic bag that was inside a nice box. I poured his remains were he wanted to move to (in a river in the woods). It was very nice & quiet with family there as we poured his remains ❤ He didn’t want a funeral per-say. Remember me as I was, he would say.
Perhaps times have changed, and maybe cremation has changed over the years. I was 20 when my brother passed of cancer at age 30. ....it had been decided to cremate him. All of us drove to the crematorium...me, my other brother, little sister, Mom and Dad....they brought us to the "retort" thing, the oven. It was a long, concrete, just like a kiln. We saw our brother inside a plastic bag, inside a cardboard box. It was traumatic...then the operator flipped a nearby switch. Suddenly, huge flames shot up in a roar, quickly engulfing may brother in the box....and as we stared in horror, the operator lowered the heavy, sliding door with a loud thud and clang. It looked to me like the absolute fires of Hell unleashed in there...and I've never forgotten that terrible sight. The year was December 1974. 😢
Very good video, thanks for being so honest. I didn't know that the cremator was called a retort. That is something I learned today. I just had my 15 year old Himalayan cat cremated. He is now sitting on his favourite desk where he used to watch out the window. Thank you so much for your video. I am going to subscribe.
Wonderful explanation!! I do wish I had known this before my mom's cremation. I don't know why I looked but I did when I got her box and even knowing what it should look like I wasn't prepared. My mom also had spinal surgery among others and I never thought about the hardware. Obviously it wasn't in the ashes but I didn't think about how. Lastly, her box was a lot heavier than her mom's. My grandmother was taller but had wasted away. She was also older so probably had osteoporosis, maybe that's why. My mom was only 63 and a bigger gal. Anyway this is really informative and not at all offensive or unkind. I'm also going to let my dad know he needs to get under 350lbs before his time lol
When my mom died in the hospice center, after a 22 year battle with Parkinson's disease, I was wondering why they couldn't cremate her for 2 weeks? Knowing she was in cold storage that long was unsettling.
Awesomely informative video. You explain things so simply to understand and still be direct. You do an awesome awesome service to us regular people. Thank you so much Kari! You are an awesome person. You are the best. I feel that I owe you so much. My wife left me after twenty years of marriage six years ago. I am working to recover. I would really like to get to know you. I hope that I am not freaking you out. I would just like to get to know you. Thanks, Alan
I appreciate your channel. I’m very torn as to my remains after I die.My mom died when I was 11, we flew w/ her to New England to bury her bcuz that was home to her/all her family lived there. I live in SoCal & all of my New England family is gone now- they’re in a family plot w/ my mom & a very nice groundskeeper cleans the plot on holidays, But I’ve never been able to go visit when I want-- my kids are curious about where I was born & my family in New England, but it’s hard- I’d be flying them across the country to visit a cemetery. I feel guilty that I can’t visit and leave flowers- I NOW wish I had my mother & grandparents ashes, but at 11- the thought of my mom being burned into ash would’ve been horrifying. I want to save my children from the guilt of moving somewhere and “abandoning me,” where I’m buried if I die young, so for now, I have chosen cremation, but once they’re older and if they stay in Ca, I’ll likely change my will to be buried w/ my husband (whoever goes first.)
@@KaritheMortician that’s actually a great idea! Wow, Being that I experienced so many losses so young, I’ve really struggled with this decision since I was 12 (seriously!) like, keeps me up at night sometimes- Your channel is such an incredible resource. Im on vacation rn but I made a playlist to watch w/ my husband when I get home. THANK YOU
When we got my father's ashes there were tiny. burnt wires that I attributed to when he had his open heart surgery and they had to rewire his sternum. This does explain why there were a few bits of bones in his ashes as well but thank you for the video.
Thank you for the clarification . I hadn't thought about the extra fat being flammable but it makes perfect sence. My husband wanted to be cremated and i did as he ask. I am thinking about ths same. I think it makes perfect sence.
Thanks for answering this question. My wife passed in 2015 from stage 4 colon cancer. We had purchased a double urn for ourselves and my wife, who planned her own funeral, wanted each child (4) to have a small personal urn with a part of her. I have to admit, I have wondered about this and your video on the subject answered some questions I had.
Twice I came in contact with cremated remains, and both times it was soft as flour. The toddler was about half a cup, and the man, my father in law, made up about 3and a half cups. The baby was whiter. Do you know why the old man's cremated remains were more grayish? Depends on what?
when we separated my Dads remains to bury some in a plot so the military would deliver his headstone...there was a 5-6 inch length of rib bone......I was so upset and afraid my mom would see it....is it normal to have that large of a piece escape the pulverizer?
I had the ashes of two family members temporarily at my home. Looking inside the boxes, I noticed that they were both quite different in color. They were cremated in different places, but one was quite white while the other more brownish in color. I was wondering what would cause this. Thanks for the postings. I have found this subject very interesting.
Hi Kari, my question is: can ones remains be burried in a cemetery and what would the required process be? I’m in Michigan so do you have to buy a smaller vault? And could a Mother and Father be burried in the same plot together if they were cremated at different times but one was held onto until the other passed? Hope this makes since. Thank you in advance.
Oh my goodness I'm so glad I came across this video, because like you said I believed my dad's ashes were gonna be just like you said what you see in the movies. And my dad only ended up being cremated because I was his only so carear, with no back up or saved money when he unfortunately died quite suddenly passed away, we were also in the time of the pandemic so uet again on my own, I'm not going to go into all the details because it would take forever the reasons I choose a cremation. But when I felt ready I wanted to move his ashes from the scatter box that I collected him in, into something not so obvious, so anybody new in my house wouldn't know it was my dad, but I knew he was still there ....if that makes sence. Amd I remember thinking it was going to be this light ashes that would come out, I was shaking ,y children was with me , it was nothing like what I expected, it did look just like cat litter, infact I smiled to myself when you said that because that was the only way I could describe it, and belive me I know ,at one point I had ten cats and that was all down to my dad letting the young girls out when he shouldn't have....lol. I have been questing myself for the last year ..is that really my dad's ashes, so thankyou, because that has really put my mind at ease. Amazing and very intreasting videos..xx
This video actually made me want to look and see what my mother's remains look like and I am doing that as I'm typing actually, right now. Her remains literally look like light gray ashes. That's it. No strange colors or textures. There is also some sort of metal tag in here as well with some numbers on it. It's silver. Almost like a dog tag. My mother passed away a little over a month ago from primary peritoneal cancer that my brother and I didn't even know that she had until the day before she died. It was very shocking and has really hit us hard. After reading her medical records, after her death, I was shocked to find out that she also had lung cancer that was primary as well. She was only 58 years old and never complained of any pain but must have been in a lot of it. After her death, I was really wondering what exactly was done with my mother when she was cremated and your video has been very helpful with those questions that I had. Thank you.
Kari Northey She always said that she wanted to be cremated and for us to take her ashes up into the North Carolina mountains and scatter them at her grandmother's old house there. I'm not sure where the house Is, so my Aunt (her sister) is going to help guide us there so that we can fulfill her wishes. We are from Tennessee, so it's a little bit of a road trip but that's ok. We will be going sometime after Christmas. At first, I was against her being cremated, even though that's what she wanted, bc of what I thought the process was like. I thought it was just a huge fire pit that a bunch of drunk guys put the body on and just sat out there, drinking whiskey and talking about what they were having for dinner that night. Now I realize that it is done respectfully and precisely, and that makes me feel better. Mom always said she never wanted to be on display at the front of a room. Plus, we didn't have the money to pay for anything but a cremation. In the end, I realized that this wasn't about me and what I wanted. It was about mom and mom alone, and that's what she wanted. I miss her so much and I don't think I'll ever really get over it. I still text her old phone just to tell her I love and miss her. I am just waiting on the day that I get a response from some stranger, calling me a nut case. Lol
Kari Northey That is a really good idea. I really appreciate that suggestion bc I would've never thought of that on my own. How much of the ashes should I take out to bury? I have never handled remains before now and to be honest, it makes me kind of nervous for some reason. Do more families choose cremation over burials nowadays or is it the opposite? I also have a question about bodies that are cremated....are they usually already in the decomposition stage before being cremated? (I guess the specific question I'm wanting to ask is, my mom died on the 18th of November, and was cremated on the 20th, do you think she looked any different right before they cremated her, from the last time I saw her at the hospital? I know that's probably a strange question but, I know she was always concerned about her looks, and I just kind of want to know if she would've looked the same right before going in to be cremated.)
I buried people for a while before I was a Crematory operator. I used to joke with my friends by saying, "I got you covered." Or "I'll be the last one to let you down." 😆
In dealing with transferring my loved ones ashes into the urn at the crematory I would have to say human ashes was the worst smell I have ever experienced in my life.
There is some black apparition behind you...lol! I think it's your lab. I feel your doing a great service for people. I'm sure you know Caitlyn Doughty, very Death positive. Once we have taken the fear out of what is happening to our bodies, after death, perhaps some of us hopefully will not be as scared. You're an angel.
Kari Northey do you think there is anything Biblically wrong with cremation? I am undecided, but would want my family to not be burdened with huge expenses, if I should die.
I don't want to be embalmed or buried in a sealed casket. My husband made his dad's casket. A simple pine and Barn wood casket that was so lovely. The plots at the cemetery are not vaulted. Simple and that's my wishes as well. Do you get requests to not embalm?
Can you do video on the new cremation process using water. It’s not widely available, but sounds interesting: would love your take. I know available in Florida, but not wide spread. Love to hear your perspective on whether or not it may become more available.
It would be a great help in future videos if you would use a tripod etc for a steady image. Your information and explanations are a welcome addition to a well rounded education in dealing with the inevitable death of us all.
I did a funeral where I was asked to scatter the ashes of a husband and wife (both died within a day of each other). He was a great big guy (nearly 300 lbs.), while she went 85-90 lbs., tops. Both boxes looked identical, with the same amount of material inside. These were relatives of a friend of mine, so my grandkids were there. My grandson (9) was a bit frightened at first, but after I talked to him, he helped me with the boxes. My granddaughter (7) didn't want to touch the boxes, but she commented on how they looked the same even though "Uncle John" was so much bigger. And yes, it looked like cat litter.
The person performing my mom's cremation did a poor job. The ashes we received contained several large pebble size chunks of visible bone. It literally sounds like a bunch of rocks in the box. Unless the little metal tag you speak of is sealed inside the plastic bag with the ashes, that was not ever given to us. With all that I know now, it's obvious we dealt with the "used car salesman" of a well established funeral home. Thank you for all of your videos.
You stated the metal in bodies is removed. Is it removed before in goes in the retort and if so how? I don’t recall crematorium mentioning this when my mother was cremated. Thanks for the information.
I'm not Kari but I thought I'd try and help if I knew the answers to the questions people had. Metal on its own isn't a problem. The problem comes when it's things like a pacemaker because that has a battery in it and batteries explode at high temperatures. So that's removed beforehand. Things like metal screws simply get removed after the cremation. Hip joints are a common metal part that's left over. If you really want it you can actually ask for it.. In some places the metal is reused for things like street signs!
My best friend was cremated when she was 18 and it was hard for me to picture her being cremated. Makes me sad but I obviously know she didn’t feel being cremated.
I have such a hard time deciding what I want done with my body when I die for the same reason. My friend was buried and most of my family members have chosen cremation, but everything just seems so unpleasant no matter what, even though you're obviously not going to care what happens to your body when you're gone.
Hey Kari Ive noticed a color difference in ashes when I pick them up I was told by our crematory that. Sometimes certain forms of cancer or how a persons lifestyle was can affect the color of the ashes.
My mums ashes was very blackish grey sort of salt and paper , it was also very grainy not like soft powder. She was a chain smoker and drinker. I LOVE YOU MUM ! )) Am buried her ashes in my garden in marble pot with nice bronze bird as a head stone...
Is the family charged if a pace-maker of defibrillator is not removed and explodes in the retort or as it is being removed? You said in a previous video they can actually explode and hurt or kill the person removing the cremated remains; is the family responsible for damages or death?
Bless you for this video. Do you think doing a video on the donation of a body from start to finish would be helpful? Specifically, the difference in the body's appearance from start to finish and what level of care a funeral home can offer?
My family denied me any of my mothers ashes, so I asked the funeral director for some of her hair. Do you agree I came out with the better deal, ashes are ashes right
Ashes are the inorganic remains of the human body, especially the inorganic components of the bones. There isn’t any DNA to be found in the inorganic remains found in an urn. In hair, you can still retrieve DNA under most circumstances.
The family is asked if there is a pacemaker in the deceased or any implant that should be known about ,and a form is signed declaring yes or no.There was a case in France where a lady signed a form and said there was no pacemaker. There was and i It exploded.She was sued.
Hello when you donate a loved one for learning purposes after using the organs and they cremate the rest of the remains. How much of your loved one would you typically get back as their remains?
Thanks for explaining all this. My husbands ashes were so heavy in the container . I was shocked. I also bought him a wooden urn to put him after he was creamated. Was charged extra because He was 316 pounds. Did not understand it at the the time . It bothered me.i would take care of him no matered what he weighed.did not understand why I was charged extra.
Kari does it also make a difference with age of the cremated remains? So like if the remains are 1 month old and another relative cremated remains were like 20 yrs old post cremated I mean
Another very well done vid, you handle the most delicate subjects in an amazing & gentle way. You are truly blessed. Natural burial for me. Cremation is too violent, and a waste of resources & pollution. I'm w/the Jews all the way with dealing with death.
Very informative. May I ask what would happen to someone’s wedding ring. If they previously requested to be wearing it. Would it then be picked up by the magnet you described??
I have metal rods in the lower part of my back when I pass I am going to be cremated. Would hardware such as rods have to be removed prior to being cremated?
Hey I watch all ur videos I ask u a few weeks ago about how u may think my daddy condition he pass when I was 3 I’m now 45 he was 27 year old please just give me what u may think thank u
My fathers ashes were mauve pink in color very fine grain. I’ve been told that was the result of an old retort with brick in need of repair. Is that true? His cause of death was Multiple Myeloma. He was probably 150-160 at time of death. The identification coins matching the paperwork was validated and accurate. I worked for forensic pathologist, have handled multiple ashes, and have never seen this color of ash. Your opinion would be greatly appreciated.
The funeral director I've dealt with working in a church always calls the cremated remains by the person's name. He would walk into the church with an urn and be like "Where do you want me to put Betty?"
Danny Salazar wow that was my mom's name and she just passed and we had her cremated.. just recently... just that u used that name .. 😢 but it is like this was meant for me ...
My mom suffered many decades from Crohns. She was around 90 pds when she passed. When I got her remains I said to myself that she has never felt so healthy. Her cremains were heavy. Every time I move her urn I chuckle a bit.
Speaking of a casket going into a retort- I would think the casket wouldn’t breakdown? People actually have their loved ones cremated in the expensive casket? I used to work for a box manufacturer that made cremation trays for many funeral homes. Thanks!
Thank you.. I learned some things, and especially the ashes dropping, like kitty litter, I didn't know. Now I am prepared should I have to cremate someone :)
Even though I saw this video when it came out a few years ago, do the metal caskets just dissipate? What happens to the wood caskets for those who want to pay for them?
@@KaritheMortician so basically if one wanted cremation and they payed for a metal casket, the casket ends up just being discarded afterwards. Wow some people throw money away like it’s nothing. Metal caskets are not cheap, I have had involved in the purchase of 4 for all of my grandparents.
@@drewwise5966 That or they're a rental, which I am given to understand is pretty common if someone is being cremated but wants a metal casket for a Fancy Viewing-essentially a disposable liner+cardboard box on a tray that slides out for the actual cremation. I assume that cremating in a metal casket would be a bit of a nuisance TBH, given that you now have to get extremely hot metal out of the retort at some point that may or may not affect the actual cremation process.
My spouse and I are deciding to be cremated. Our ashes will be spread along with our dogs who have gone. I could not see myself and spouse in the ground or surrounded by concrete for all eternity. Our spirits will live on.
@@KaritheMortician Where can I find a news source for that claim? The Catholic Church can lobby and influence but certainly doesn't have the power to regulate the industry.
You answered a question before I asked it. I always wondered if I had to be embalmed before cremation, if I'm correct you said no. I'm 60, I have it planned out, I know exactly what I want. I want a pot luck party at my favorite park by a river, with everyone dressed in bright colors. My son is half Apache & plays the flute, I'm in Colorado he's in N.C., I haven't seen him for over 20 yrs. due to his Navy career.
It actually doesn't need to be embalmed at all. It's something that's become more popular over time.. It allows people to have their loved ones on display without it being unpleasant. To look at or smell. But there are a lot more people becoming interested in whats called a natural death. Chemicals used in enbalming are pretty strong. If you look up Caitlin Doughty she's very much into the more natural way of treating the dead. I'm not sure on the laws in the various states in the US but in the UK its not a legal requirement at all. We aren't as into the viewing and that sort of thing here. More people are deciding to care for their loved ones body themselves and do the minimum required via a funeral home.
Do you mean your own yard? If so yes you can in most places. You'd need to check the laws where you are. Scattering remains in other places is a bit more complex. A lot of people don't ask they just discretely so it. But if it's caused issues the area may have laws in place. There is a mountain in the UK where at one point piles were building up and it wasn't very pleasant for your average hiker who would get to the top and be confronted by several piles of dead folk. They ended up telling people that they weren't allowed to do it. When I tried to scatter my step dad's ashes from a pier I couldn't get anyone to agree permission. I'd get told it was a health hazard quite frequently. I think it all depends on where it is you want to do it. I mean in the sea on a quiet beach is one thing, on a busy summers day it's another. Private land is different depending on who owns it. If its you or a family member that's fine. I've known people try it at Disney!! So you can imagine how that went.
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You are truly an unsung hero. God is so please with you and how much you care about his children’s Remains. You are up there with police, firefighters,soldiers in war, humanitarians, first responders. I know God is pleased with the way you carry yourself and compassion did you take with peoples remains. You are truly special more than you know.
Aww thanks!
Kari - very educational. You are the best....Thank you!!
Thank you for the very clear explanation about cremation. It is helpful to know ahead of time about extra cremation costs for people over a certain weight - it makes complete sense. Well done!
Thank you for the minute details you share. I would hope the person handling my family would be so kind.🙏🏻❤️
Very through and precise explanation of what cremation does to a body. Thank you.
Thank you, Kari, for your conscientiousness in sharing this information.
You are welcome!
The information is creepy but, very interesting!
Thank you so much for explaining the process.
I love you, and your channel! You are awesome!!!!!
Thank you so much for your information. You speak the truth.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! You are a blessing....
Thank you. I really wish I had come across your videos before my wife passed in 2018. She chose cremation. Even now it helps.
Thank You! Be Blessed!
Thanks for the information. Thats a good idea to do the tour I think its good for people to understand. They can explain the process if need be instead of them answering with I am not sure about this because I havent seen the entire process done. I believe that this also answers questions someone has on their mind. Some do not feel comfortable to ask the questions. Thanks again!
I LOVE your explanations of this stuff,it makes it easier to understand.......
Thank you
Thankyou for your reply x
I’m so impressed by your ability to go over these sensitive topics with grace and love.
Thanks for this very nice compassionate video,you are a very sweet women.
Absolutely well said and explained. I am a fan. 👍👍😊😊
Fascinating and beautiful..
Kari Northey a pleasure 😊
Thank you Keri, I have chosen cremation, and you have made it easier to understand what will happen.
I too have chosen cremation.
Thank you for this explanation. My daughter was creamated and I was shocked how heavy it was she was only 5 feet tall and may 110lbs.
You are welcome. Sorry for your loss!
Thank you. My husband was cremated & the bag was actually heavy. He came to me in a plastic bag that was inside a nice box. I poured his remains were he wanted to move to (in a river in the woods). It was very nice & quiet with family there as we poured his remains ❤ He didn’t want a funeral per-say. Remember me as I was, he would say.
Thank you for sharing
I admire this lady and feel a natural affinity towards her.
Thanks so much!!
Thank you for the honesty because I have been looking at cremation
@@KaritheMortician do you know anything about the history mystery good luck bad luck or ritual of cremation?
Thank you for the clarification, I have requested to be cremated..
I love Caitlin Doughty but you are a fountain of knowledge too...Thanks for sharing what you know with your followers...I had to subscribe btw
That was a great explanation. Thank you for breaking it down so clearly.
You're very welcome!
@@KaritheMortician Should Really Cover the Smell Of Cremation, just so People Know Why Crematory Workers Wear Respirator Masks.
I too have had my gallbladder removed and I probably have staples as well.
This was an awesome video!!! My dad was cremated and put into an urn and a brown cardboard box. I love him tons i miss him dearly.
Thank you for sharing about him
@@KaritheMortician What Do Cremated Remains Smell Like? If Any Smell At all.
Perhaps times have changed, and maybe cremation has changed over the years.
I was 20 when my brother passed of cancer at age 30. ....it had been decided to cremate him.
All of us drove to the crematorium...me, my other brother, little sister, Mom and Dad....they brought us to the "retort" thing, the oven. It was a long, concrete, just like a kiln. We saw our brother inside a plastic bag, inside a cardboard box. It was traumatic...then the operator flipped a nearby switch. Suddenly, huge flames shot up in a roar, quickly engulfing may brother in the box....and as we stared in horror, the operator lowered the heavy, sliding door with a loud thud and clang.
It looked to me like the absolute fires of Hell unleashed in there...and I've never forgotten that terrible sight.
The year was December 1974. 😢
That was when things first started going with the business. Most people do not attend the cremation but some do now. It is much less industrial though
Very good video, thanks for being so honest. I didn't know that the cremator was called a retort. That is something I learned today. I just had my 15 year old Himalayan cat cremated. He is now sitting on his favourite desk where he used to watch out the window. Thank you so much for your video. I am going to subscribe.
Amazing. Thx.
Thank you!
Wonderful explanation!! I do wish I had known this before my mom's cremation. I don't know why I looked but I did when I got her box and even knowing what it should look like I wasn't prepared. My mom also had spinal surgery among others and I never thought about the hardware. Obviously it wasn't in the ashes but I didn't think about how. Lastly, her box was a lot heavier than her mom's. My grandmother was taller but had wasted away. She was also older so probably had osteoporosis, maybe that's why. My mom was only 63 and a bigger gal. Anyway this is really informative and not at all offensive or unkind. I'm also going to let my dad know he needs to get under 350lbs before his time lol
Thank you!
I think i need to lose pounds cause there gonna need more people i am gonna be leaking and making them turn off my greese fires
When my mom died in the hospice center, after a 22 year battle with Parkinson's disease, I was wondering why they couldn't cremate her for 2 weeks? Knowing she was in cold storage that long was unsettling.
because of a backlog of bodies to be cremated. In some places it can take a week or more to have a body cremated.
That is very rare. Unless there was an investigation of the death. Or there was family issues Normally 7-10 days is the max
Good video!
I don’t even want to think about it
Awesomely informative video. You explain things so simply to understand and still be direct. You do an awesome awesome service to us regular people.
Thank you so much Kari!
You are an awesome person. You are the best. I feel that I owe you so much. My wife left me after twenty years of marriage six years ago. I am working to recover. I would really like to get to know you. I hope that I am not freaking you out. I would just like to get to know you.
Thanks,
Alan
I appreciate the support
I love the straight hair on you Kari!
Thank you! I think I may grow it out a bit again
U are great and enjoyable to watch and very informative 1/23
I appreciate that!
Love your videos
Thank you!!
I appreciate your channel. I’m very torn as to my remains after I die.My mom died when I was 11, we flew w/ her to New England to bury her bcuz that was home to her/all her family lived there. I live in SoCal & all of my New England family is gone now- they’re in a family plot w/ my mom & a very nice groundskeeper cleans the plot on holidays, But I’ve never been able to go visit when I want-- my kids are curious about where I was born & my family in New England, but it’s hard- I’d be flying them across the country to visit a cemetery. I feel guilty that I can’t visit and leave flowers- I NOW wish I had my mother & grandparents ashes, but at 11- the thought of my mom being burned into ash would’ve been horrifying.
I want to save my children from the guilt of moving somewhere and “abandoning me,” where I’m buried if I die young, so for now, I have chosen cremation, but once they’re older and if they stay in Ca, I’ll likely change my will to be buried w/ my husband (whoever goes first.)
You can do a viewing and everything followed by cremation to be more "mobile" and then be buried with him later on :)
@@KaritheMortician that’s actually a great idea! Wow, Being that I experienced so many losses so young, I’ve really struggled with this decision since I was 12 (seriously!) like, keeps me up at night sometimes- Your channel is such an incredible resource. Im on vacation rn but I made a playlist to watch w/ my husband when I get home. THANK YOU
When we got my father's ashes there were tiny. burnt wires that I attributed to when he had his open heart surgery and they had to rewire his sternum. This does explain why there were a few bits of bones in his ashes as well but thank you for the video.
Thank you for the clarification . I hadn't thought about the extra fat being flammable but it makes perfect sence. My husband wanted to be cremated and i did as he ask. I am thinking about ths same. I think it makes perfect sence.
You are welcome
Thanks for answering this question. My wife passed in 2015 from stage 4 colon cancer. We had purchased a double urn for ourselves and my wife, who planned her own funeral, wanted each child (4) to have a small personal urn with a part of her. I have to admit, I have wondered about this and your video on the subject answered some questions I had.
Twice I came in contact with cremated remains, and both times it was soft as flour. The toddler was about half a cup, and the man, my father in law, made up about 3and a half cups. The baby was whiter. Do you know why the old man's cremated remains were more grayish? Depends on what?
when we separated my Dads remains to bury some in a plot so the military would deliver his headstone...there was a 5-6 inch length of rib bone......I was so upset and afraid my mom would see it....is it normal to have that large of a piece escape the pulverizer?
I had the ashes of two family members temporarily at my home. Looking inside the boxes, I noticed that they were both quite different in color. They were cremated in different places, but one was quite white while the other more brownish in color. I was wondering what would cause this. Thanks for the postings. I have found this subject very interesting.
Hi Kari, my question is: can ones remains be burried in a cemetery and what would the required process be? I’m in Michigan so do you have to buy a smaller vault? And could a Mother and Father be burried in the same plot together if they were cremated at different times but one was held onto until the other passed? Hope this makes since. Thank you in advance.
Oh my goodness I'm so glad I came across this video, because like you said I believed my dad's ashes were gonna be just like you said what you see in the movies. And my dad only ended up being cremated because I was his only so carear, with no back up or saved money when he unfortunately died quite suddenly passed away, we were also in the time of the pandemic so uet again on my own, I'm not going to go into all the details because it would take forever the reasons I choose a cremation. But when I felt ready I wanted to move his ashes from the scatter box that I collected him in, into something not so obvious, so anybody new in my house wouldn't know it was my dad, but I knew he was still there ....if that makes sence. Amd I remember thinking it was going to be this light ashes that would come out, I was shaking ,y children was with me , it was nothing like what I expected, it did look just like cat litter, infact I smiled to myself when you said that because that was the only way I could describe it, and belive me I know ,at one point I had ten cats and that was all down to my dad letting the young girls out when he shouldn't have....lol.
I have been questing myself for the last year ..is that really my dad's ashes, so thankyou, because that has really put my mind at ease. Amazing and very intreasting videos..xx
I'm so glad this was able to help put your mind at ease about your dad. Thanks for watching and for sharing.
This video actually made me want to look and see what my mother's remains look like and I am doing that as I'm typing actually, right now. Her remains literally look like light gray ashes. That's it. No strange colors or textures. There is also some sort of metal tag in here as well with some numbers on it. It's silver. Almost like a dog tag. My mother passed away a little over a month ago from primary peritoneal cancer that my brother and I didn't even know that she had until the day before she died. It was very shocking and has really hit us hard. After reading her medical records, after her death, I was shocked to find out that she also had lung cancer that was primary as well. She was only 58 years old and never complained of any pain but must have been in a lot of it. After her death, I was really wondering what exactly was done with my mother when she was cremated and your video has been very helpful with those questions that I had. Thank you.
Kari Northey She always said that she wanted to be cremated and for us to take her ashes up into the North Carolina mountains and scatter them at her grandmother's old house there. I'm not sure where the house Is, so my Aunt (her sister) is going to help guide us there so that we can fulfill her wishes. We are from Tennessee, so it's a little bit of a road trip but that's ok. We will be going sometime after Christmas. At first, I was against her being cremated, even though that's what she wanted, bc of what I thought the process was like. I thought it was just a huge fire pit that a bunch of drunk guys put the body on and just sat out there, drinking whiskey and talking about what they were having for dinner that night. Now I realize that it is done respectfully and precisely, and that makes me feel better. Mom always said she never wanted to be on display at the front of a room. Plus, we didn't have the money to pay for anything but a cremation. In the end, I realized that this wasn't about me and what I wanted. It was about mom and mom alone, and that's what she wanted. I miss her so much and I don't think I'll ever really get over it. I still text her old phone just to tell her I love and miss her. I am just waiting on the day that I get a response from some stranger, calling me a nut case. Lol
Kari Northey That is a really good idea. I really appreciate that suggestion bc I would've never thought of that on my own. How much of the ashes should I take out to bury? I have never handled remains before now and to be honest, it makes me kind of nervous for some reason. Do more families choose cremation over burials nowadays or is it the opposite? I also have a question about bodies that are cremated....are they usually already in the decomposition stage before being cremated? (I guess the specific question I'm wanting to ask is, my mom died on the 18th of November, and was cremated on the 20th, do you think she looked any different right before they cremated her, from the last time I saw her at the hospital? I know that's probably a strange question but, I know she was always concerned about her looks, and I just kind of want to know if she would've looked the same right before going in to be cremated.)
You are one amazing person. God told me to say he’s proud of you and loves very much !
Thank you!!
My nana was a brownish color. Very light. The remains do not at all look like ash.
Well, I don’t want to get burned on that deal!
I buried people for a while before I was a Crematory operator.
I used to joke with my friends by saying,
"I got you covered." Or "I'll be the last one to let you down."
😆
I work at a cremation facility. Good content. Awesome channel.
M.A.G.A
@@midnightrunner684 consider it done.
Thank you I would love to do know your Knowledge
Thank you!
My mom weighed less than 200 lb. I got back 2 bags of remains each one holding more than
3-4 cups. Each bag was more than 5lbs.each.
In dealing with transferring my loved ones ashes into the urn at the crematory I would have to say human ashes was the worst smell I have ever experienced in my life.
I couldn't say there was much smell to remains
There is some black apparition behind you...lol! I think it's your lab. I feel your doing a great service for people. I'm sure you know Caitlyn Doughty, very Death positive. Once we have taken the fear out of what is happening to our bodies, after death, perhaps some of us hopefully will not be as scared. You're an angel.
@@KaritheMortician
I 💓Newf's....gentle giants🐶
Kari Northey do you think there is anything Biblically wrong with cremation? I am undecided, but would want my family to not be burdened with huge expenses, if I should die.
Goodmorning Ms. Kari, is there smoke and odors from the retort during the burn process. Thank you for any response, have a good day.
Plenty smoke my dad had his shoes on 5 wks ago ŕubber soles cant be good for environment
I don't want to be embalmed or buried in a sealed casket. My husband made his dad's casket. A simple pine and Barn wood casket that was so lovely. The plots at the cemetery are not vaulted. Simple and that's my wishes as well. Do you get requests to not embalm?
Can you do video on the new cremation process using water. It’s not widely available, but sounds interesting: would love your take. I know available in Florida, but not wide spread. Love to hear your perspective on whether or not it may become more available.
I have two on it!
It would be a great help in future videos if you would use a tripod etc for a steady image. Your information and explanations are a welcome addition to a well rounded education in dealing with the inevitable death of us all.
Thank you for the recommendation...I have come a long way!
I did a funeral where I was asked to scatter the ashes of a husband and wife (both died within a day of each other). He was a great big guy (nearly 300 lbs.), while she went 85-90 lbs., tops. Both boxes looked identical, with the same amount of material inside. These were relatives of a friend of mine, so my grandkids were there. My grandson (9) was a bit frightened at first, but after I talked to him, he helped me with the boxes. My granddaughter (7) didn't want to touch the boxes, but she commented on how they looked the same even though "Uncle John" was so much bigger. And yes, it looked like cat litter.
Awesome you took that on!
Awesome video my sister was cremated.
Thanks for sharing
The person performing my mom's cremation did a poor job. The ashes we received contained several large pebble size chunks of visible bone. It literally sounds like a bunch of rocks in the box. Unless the little metal tag you speak of is sealed inside the plastic bag with the ashes, that was not ever given to us. With all that I know now, it's obvious we dealt with the "used car salesman" of a well established funeral home. Thank you for all of your videos.
You stated the metal in bodies is removed. Is it removed before in goes in the retort and if so how? I don’t recall crematorium mentioning this when my mother was cremated. Thanks for the information.
I'm not Kari but I thought I'd try and help if I knew the answers to the questions people had. Metal on its own isn't a problem. The problem comes when it's things like a pacemaker because that has a battery in it and batteries explode at high temperatures. So that's removed beforehand. Things like metal screws simply get removed after the cremation. Hip joints are a common metal part that's left over. If you really want it you can actually ask for it.. In some places the metal is reused for things like street signs!
What about fiberglass vaults?
My best friend was cremated when she was 18 and it was hard for me to picture her being cremated. Makes me sad but I obviously know she didn’t feel being cremated.
Lauren Hills for me it’s the thought of decomposition in the ground, it freaks me out.
I have such a hard time deciding what I want done with my body when I die for the same reason. My friend was buried and most of my family members have chosen cremation, but everything just seems so unpleasant no matter what, even though you're obviously not going to care what happens to your body when you're gone.
@@julianabrice8430 There is also composting and water cremation.
Hey Kari Ive noticed a color difference in ashes when I pick them up I was told by our crematory that. Sometimes certain forms of cancer or how a persons lifestyle was can affect the color of the ashes.
Yes that plays a huge part
My mums ashes was very blackish grey sort of salt and paper , it was also very grainy not like soft powder. She was a chain smoker and drinker. I LOVE YOU MUM ! )) Am buried her ashes in my garden in marble pot with nice bronze bird as a head stone...
Is the family charged if a pace-maker of defibrillator is not removed and explodes in the retort or as it is being removed? You said in a previous video they can actually explode and hurt or kill the person removing the cremated remains; is the family responsible for damages or death?
Bless you for this video. Do you think doing a video on the donation of a body from start to finish would be helpful? Specifically, the difference in the body's appearance from start to finish and what level of care a funeral home can offer?
Thank you. Donatng to a medical school?
@@KaritheMortician yes.
My family denied me any of my mothers ashes, so I asked the funeral director for some of her hair. Do you agree I came out with the better deal, ashes are ashes right
your family denied you??? what's the story behind that?
You did but you didn't deseres that.
P
Katie Home deserve😊
Ashes are the inorganic remains of the human body, especially the inorganic components of the bones. There isn’t any DNA to be found in the inorganic remains found in an urn. In hair, you can still retrieve DNA under most circumstances.
I know that's right you go girl..!!!
Do you check for things like pacemakers, or is that up to the family to disclose that their loved one has that device?
The family is asked if there is a pacemaker in the deceased or any implant that should be known about ,and a form is signed declaring yes or no.There was a case in France where a lady signed a form and said there was no pacemaker. There was and i
It exploded.She was sued.
Kara I want to know went a person coming to your funeral home , that died with cancer. Do you do some different to in emblem them?
No we do not
Hello when you donate a loved one for learning purposes after using the organs and they cremate the rest of the remains. How much of your loved one would you typically get back as their remains?
You would get back the normal amount, 8 pounds on average
Thanks for explaining all this. My husbands ashes were so heavy in the container . I was shocked. I also bought him a wooden urn to put him after he was creamated. Was charged extra because He was 316 pounds. Did not understand it at the the time . It bothered me.i would take care of him no matered what he weighed.did not understand why I was charged extra.
Kari does it also make a difference with age of the cremated remains? So like if the remains are 1 month old and another relative cremated remains were like 20 yrs old post cremated I mean
CRemated remains can become a solid block over time
If you buy a casket they do put it in the retort also correct?
correct
Another very well done vid, you handle the most delicate subjects in an amazing & gentle way. You are truly blessed. Natural burial for me. Cremation is too violent, and a waste of resources & pollution. I'm w/the Jews all the way with dealing with death.
Very informative. May I ask what would happen to someone’s wedding ring. If they previously requested to be wearing it. Would it then be picked up by the magnet you described??
Can't a funeral director hold the ring for safekeeping and place it in the urn before the family gets the urn back?
How about the family keep the ring and place it into the urn themselves?
I have metal rods in the lower part of my back when I pass I am going to be cremated. Would hardware such as rods have to be removed prior to being cremated?
No they are cremated afterwards
Hey I watch all ur videos I ask u a few weeks ago about how u may think my daddy condition he pass when I was 3 I’m now 45 he was 27 year old please just give me what u may think thank u
My fathers ashes were mauve pink in color very fine grain. I’ve been told that was the result of an old retort with brick in need of repair. Is that true? His cause of death was Multiple Myeloma. He was probably 150-160 at time of death. The identification coins matching the paperwork was validated and accurate. I worked for forensic pathologist, have handled multiple ashes, and have never seen this color of ash. Your opinion would be greatly appreciated.
Interesting! I will find out
The funeral director I've dealt with working in a church always calls the cremated remains by the person's name. He would walk into the church with an urn and be like "Where do you want me to put Betty?"
Danny Salazar wow that was my mom's name and she just passed and we had her cremated.. just recently... just that u used that name .. 😢 but it is like this was meant for me ...
@@angieweston7102 my mother's name as well. My mom passed in 2011 from copd.
I have a portion of someone’s ashes. It’s my little urn with ‘some Tim in it’
My mom suffered many decades from Crohns. She was around 90 pds when she passed. When I got her remains I said to myself that she has never felt so healthy. Her cremains were heavy. Every time I move her urn I chuckle a bit.
Its amazing how much they weight when people I think envision just ash type weight
@@KaritheMortician Definitely aren’t ash. I was surprised by that when I filled some necklaces for my adult children.
Speaking of a casket going into a retort- I would think the casket wouldn’t breakdown?
People actually have their loved ones cremated in the expensive casket?
I used to work for a box manufacturer that made cremation trays for many funeral homes.
Thanks!
No they don’t!
Yes they do sometimes. Wood burns away. Sometimes they try to do metal which is worthless but done
Thank you.. I learned some things, and especially the ashes dropping, like kitty litter, I didn't know. Now I am prepared should I have to cremate someone :)
Glad it was helpful!
My dog reacts to the ashes from my previous dog that passed away....do the ashes have an odor?
They may be able to detect that it is not a usual smell to them
In the event that a person has a pacemaker, how would that be removed before cremation?
It is surgically cut out
Exactly 💯 my dad passed away 7-5-2020 he wanted to be cremated so that's what we did and scattered his ashes
Very nice
Even though I saw this video when it came out a few years ago, do the metal caskets just dissipate? What happens to the wood caskets for those who want to pay for them?
THey warp but very few actually cremate in metal
@@KaritheMortician so basically if one wanted cremation and they payed for a metal casket, the casket ends up just being discarded afterwards. Wow some people throw money away like it’s nothing. Metal caskets are not cheap, I have had involved in the purchase of 4 for all of my grandparents.
@@drewwise5966 That or they're a rental, which I am given to understand is pretty common if someone is being cremated but wants a metal casket for a Fancy Viewing-essentially a disposable liner+cardboard box on a tray that slides out for the actual cremation. I assume that cremating in a metal casket would be a bit of a nuisance TBH, given that you now have to get extremely hot metal out of the retort at some point that may or may not affect the actual cremation process.
What about those that have dental pieces that are "cemented" into their mouth? Do those get broken down or stay whole?
Broken down. sometimes fragments of the metal may come out after but you may not recognize what they are
@@KaritheMortician thank you for taking the time to answer. God bless you
I am just curious as to what form of "disposition" of your body, do you want?
burial
Have a sip of coffee, a great day, and a body or two.👍👍👍🇺🇸🇺🇸
You got that right!
I am the 2,000th thumbs up. 👍
Awesome!
What do you do with the clothes they have on ?
They are cremated in them
My spouse and I are deciding to be cremated. Our ashes will be spread along with our dogs who have gone. I could not see myself and spouse in the ground or surrounded by concrete for all eternity. Our spirits will live on.
So good to know what you want!
Thank you for your very informative video. What about water cremation, or alkaline hydrolasis? How can this become accepted by state authorities?
Thank for your reply. What is the controversy?
Thanks.
@@KaritheMortician Where can I find a news source for that claim? The Catholic Church can lobby and influence but certainly doesn't have the power to regulate the industry.
Not legal in all states
You answered a question before I asked it. I always wondered if I had to be embalmed before cremation, if I'm correct you said no. I'm 60, I have it planned out, I know exactly what I want. I want a pot luck party at my favorite park by a river, with everyone dressed in bright colors. My son is half Apache & plays the flute, I'm in Colorado he's in N.C., I haven't seen him for over 20 yrs. due to his Navy career.
If a body is being viewed how come the body still needs to be embalmed is it to do with bacteria on the body
It actually doesn't need to be embalmed at all. It's something that's become more popular over time.. It allows people to have their loved ones on display without it being unpleasant. To look at or smell. But there are a lot more people becoming interested in whats called a natural death. Chemicals used in enbalming are pretty strong. If you look up Caitlin Doughty she's very much into the more natural way of treating the dead. I'm not sure on the laws in the various states in the US but in the UK its not a legal requirement at all. We aren't as into the viewing and that sort of thing here. More people are deciding to care for their loved ones body themselves and do the minimum required via a funeral home.
I am preparing for a cremation and pray that everything will be done
Does your family know your wishes?
Hi I have a question for you are we allowed to dump some ones ashes in the yard after they have been cremated
Do you mean your own yard? If so yes you can in most places. You'd need to check the laws where you are. Scattering remains in other places is a bit more complex. A lot of people don't ask they just discretely so it. But if it's caused issues the area may have laws in place. There is a mountain in the UK where at one point piles were building up and it wasn't very pleasant for your average hiker who would get to the top and be confronted by several piles of dead folk. They ended up telling people that they weren't allowed to do it. When I tried to scatter my step dad's ashes from a pier I couldn't get anyone to agree permission. I'd get told it was a health hazard quite frequently. I think it all depends on where it is you want to do it. I mean in the sea on a quiet beach is one thing, on a busy summers day it's another. Private land is different depending on who owns it. If its you or a family member that's fine. I've known people try it at Disney!! So you can imagine how that went.
In your own yard yes, in another yard you must have permission of the land over. Check out my video on the laws of scattering