Why Is Watching Gay Shows With My Family So Awkward? | Chosen Family Podcast |
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- Опубликовано: 21 окт 2024
- For today’s dinner, the chosen fam helps a viewer who feels awkward watching gay shows with their sister and gives advice on how to deal with fear of rejection when flirting with girls. We also hear about the mystery woman in Ashley’s new apartment, Mak’s queer short film, and Alayna’s trip to Greece!
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Thank you guys for making me feel seen and valid as a baby gay. Never had anyone to talk to or joke about these types of things with, so this parasocial relationship means a lot to me 💓
SAME
I feel ya. Us queers should have a discord or something.
@@ruthielalastor2209 yes
you are the worst generation in modern history
@@ruthielalastor2209 DUDE a chosen family discord?? I would be so down
Ashley threatening to mute everyone makes me kinda nostalgic for zooming my best friends in quarantine and muting people and like sending people to the waiting room when they said something bad😂😂
Ohmygod, what a funny idea. 😆
Damn cannot relate because I actually didnt talk to anyone during covid lol
Ashley acting all sick and then Mak going “Bro…do you need help??” 😂😂
"Under the weather"? Ashley's totally being topped by the weather.
I love how Mak is coming into her comedy. She really came in hot today with the quick one liners!
Okay, but why is Mak sounding like a seasoned comedian in this ep? 🤌✨🤣
Mak's humor is so good.
I read this as “seasoned Canadian” 😂
You guys can't even begin to imagine the amount of relatable content you give us. I mean it's well known the queers don't have enough representative content, but it's not just about the movies. The bantering, the healthy friendships, talking about vulnerable things, it really shows a great example of what it can be like to be queer, even though it's not from a book or a movie. I feel like I say this every episode, but thank you guys so much for this podcast, every episode so far has been hilarious and relatable, and I can't wait to watch all of the future episodes
Exactly what I wanted to put into words.💜
I couldn't agree more ❤️
I liked Ashley mentioning that she does bits even during serious moments, as it’s something I do. I don’t think it’s about avoiding feelings as much as it’s about needing mini breaks to deal with the situation. I find life absurd and so, it’s sort of difficult to take even the worst that has happened to me or the world without resorting to humor as a way to deal with the chaotic nature of life.
I feel so seen lmao
feel that! making jokes lets me put into words why something is terrible without getting overwhelmed by it, and then if people laugh i feel like they understand me
That really reminds me of Ludwig when he was interviewed by Dr K... Dr K called it ''coming up for air''.
I do it too! It makes it easier to take things in and if I'm upset over something, making a joke or saying something humorous cheers me up. I know my sense of humour better than anyone else does so if I make myself laugh, even if it's about something that's not supposed to be funny, it always lightens the situation
Mak is finally laughing audibly! Also, it's the best thing to listen while waiting for the bus
!!!
Every time I feel the burning lack of queer friends in my life I come here and feel so much better
I completely get what Alayna meant by feeling euphoric from Mak, someone close to her and queer, referring to her as "this woman" because while I do identify as she/her lesbian kinda androgynous, I *especially* like it when close friends and queer people are referring to me in third person as woman, she, lady, etc.
Can you guys do a podcast about internalized homophobia?
Mak talking about having a blushing problem made my heart melt, that is so sweet ❤️
Same! As an "elder gay" I thought that was so cute!
LOL Alayna's mic issues are so relatable. "I thought that meant it was charging!"
Girl, same. 😂😅
41:23 Mak and Alayna’s facial expression after Ashley begging for tea was hilarious 😂
i really love how mak is joining more into the conversation instead of letting mak and ashley "run it" a little more like how it was in the earlier episodes. watching her grow and become more confident in the podcast is seriously adorable.
Queer representation in media, especially TV, is one of my biggest passions. I will still actively avoid the topic with my parents and siblings. When I recommend shows, I will not mention it and maybe not recommend one that focuses on a queer storyline. When we watch something together and a queer scene happens, I will literally leave the room. I just don't want to explain it to them or be the one to ask questions to or ultimately hear a comment about how it isn't necessary or realistic or how they don't get it because it all means so much to me. So I guess I'm afraid of being rejected. To clarify, the worst comment that could probably happen would be something like "But you wouldn't watch it just because it has lesbians, right?" or maybe "That's a bit of a trend these days to include", nothing outright hateful, but I guess I want to avoid that altogether.
When I'm watching a show or movie with my family and something gay starts happening I'm happy but also terrified on the inside and just don't look at them till it's over lol
I feel the exact opposite about school: it never ends. When I go to work, I clock out and I'm done for the day. With school, every minute of my life I have something I SHOULD be doing, even if I work ahead. I hate it so much. Mercifully, there's only one class standing between me and my degree. I cannot fuckin wait. I love learning, but college sucks.
First, we absolutely need "Tops Recognize Tops" t-shirts! Second, this episode was ya'lls best, yet!
“I was a nightmare.” No, Alayna, you were a goddess! Wow. If only everyone was that open and expressive and bold.
On the topic of fear of rejection, I've found that the more times I've been rejected the easier it gets each time, both in regards to building up the courage to say something as well as dealing with any emotions that may follow. It might feel like it'll always be this incredibly stressful action, but it does get better and it does get easier.
Alayna’s mic struggle is me with every piece of technology ever. I own the ditzy mom vibes.
lmao I loved the switched up dynamic on this episode, with Ashley being under the weather and mak and alayna taking charge haha. each episode gets better than the next, and I've loved every one so far! also mak had SO many funny jokes in this one, I see you mak
I took me way too long to realize that carrying the baby meant gestation lol. I was trying to puzzle out why it was normal to have a parent that's designated baby holder🤦🏽♀️
Mak really was on fire this episode! And super casual with her delivery and everything too! I loved the riffing
Okay I might have just had my “im menstruating and need a be stoned to assuage the cramps” joint, but this episode was chaotic 😂 I Really feel like I’m hanging out with my buddies and all of a sudden the secrets are redacted. Still, I love this podcast. Thanks for being here for us 💛💛💛
I can't imagine watching this as a podcast - no video. You three cement that it's okay that you tube's my only online connection. I would miss So Much if I didn't see your facial expressions, etc.
As a young, straight man in college more often than not if I asked a woman out she'd say "No. I'm gay." Now: forty years later this is humorous but back then it was perplexing. So I spent a lot of time trying to figure out why this was. And maybe now the reason yours' is the only podcast I watch regularly is that I'm able to see 3 gay women comfortably talking amongst yourselves, with a similar expected/targeted audience, and I'm able to get a better understanding of why I was repeatedly in that dilemma. So thanx.
It's only in the last five years I discovered/learned I am on autism spectrum, which is why I've always had trouble reading people (even in close friendships). For me my personal radar has always been "no-dar". Great at relating to people as Uncle Alex but striking out otherwise. It was really worth it to listen in on "tonight's dinner table conversation"... actually insightful.
Been following Alayna and her friend, Willow {I really do hope you're still friends or at least still in communication with each other, cuz I worry about you both, & thought/think you are good influences upon one another} for years, periodically offering uncle-y commentary and advice, hoping it was sometimes helpful.
Take care.
Let me (maybe) shock you a little... I have been told (be someone pretty much an expert on the subject) that people with autism don' t "see" gender. So... there's a high chance of women with autism identifying as gay. My personal experience -kind of- underwrites this. (I'm male, and probably cis-het, though that could be my upbringing...) The underwriting is because, my romantic preference is women with autism. And the amount of women I have been in love with that identified as lesbian was impressive. (I think an easy 50% maybe even higher because of the non-conformist vibes that I dig...) My current partner (for 25 years and mother of my children) only had female partners before we got together. And she still likes women, and to a lesser extent men. So... maybe you like women with autism...
I'm a guy, about 60 and it took me 55 years to come to terms with my autistic traits (no social radar, aversion to loud noises, bright lights, surprises... I can only use one specific bowl, one specific spoon and so on) and at the same time I realised that some of my unhappiness with the world is just the het-norm western culture. I was brought up "straight" and mostly like women but some men are attractive too. Feminine looking men and masc looking women are my sweet spot - so the "Not interested, I'm a lesbian" comment is one I've heard a lot. Some of the culturally richest conversations I've ever had have been with masc lesbians - suited and booted, funny, vulnerable and tough.
37:23 i have the same reaction with Mak 🤣 "Groups!?" Damn giirrlll! I wish i have that confidence
Thank you for being a safe space for all of us
Alayna’s reaction to “this lady” sounds like gender euphoria (I know thats probably not what it is, but i relate to it) :)
I agree, gender euphoria!
I thought the same thing!
It absolutely sounds like euphoria. Cis people can get gender euphoria - I feel like Shania Twain's "I Feel Like a Woman" is just an entire song about gender euphoria
and when i hear stuff like this it validates me so much in my non-binary identity because i feel so uncomfortable when people call me woman or lady or smth - and i just need to realise over and over again that not everyone feels like that :'D
@@claraboe2755 see, I feel that discomfort sometimes and other times I don't at least as strongly. Genderfluid😅
I aspire to one day have a "lady in my apartment" 😂
Thank you Danny for all that hard work that was put into editing!! 🫶😘
"Danny bleep that and cut everything else that Ashley has said" 🤣😂
I think what Ashley is trying to say at 18:24 is that movie tie-in video games are rarely any good. She's right too haha.
The Wednesday show can't come soon enough! Chosen Family has quickly become my favorite! It warms a place in my heart I didn't realize needed it, I am sure everyone here feels the same. 💜
I always look forward to this podcast never fails to make me laugh
I think you guys should be president. My beloved pet that's been with me all their life died in a really gross way yesterday and I couldn't sleep but looking forward to this episode today and getting to watch it in the morning gave me genuine comfort and a break from crying and shaking and drooling, which I have since resumed. ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss. ❤❤
So sorry about your pet 🥺❤
@@brak1615 Thank you 🥲
@@michellehuang3129 Thank you 🥲
I hope you are doing a little bit better now. I'm so sorry for your loss❤
Guuuys, where can I find a group like you near my home 😂😂😂 This podcast is sooo chaotic and I watch it EVERY SINGLE TIME. Ashley's dirty jokes make me smile so hard
I am in too deep. Even when Ashley is sick I love this podcast!
Oh, hell yeah!! The best way to start my day is your podcast, guys. Best wishes to all of you!
this question is so good! i’ve been out to my sister for 6 years now, but I still don’t feel comfortable watching sapphic shows around her. She’s been supportive from the start and isn’t uncomfortable with sapphic tv, but for some reason i’m uncomfortable with engaging in sapphic content around her? i can’t quite put my finger on this displacement, but this video helped me navigate my feelings! thanks for doing this pod!
“tops recognize tops, bottoms avoid eye contact with bottoms”
I resonate with what Ashley said at the start about *doing a bit*. When is a bit not a bit? When everything is a bit, nothing is a bit, because everything is a bit, truly! I dont think its toxic! more than one thing can be true at the same time.
Whoa this was trippy to read and I agree hahaha
For some reason when Ashley does her 'dad' voice I just hear Danny DeVito 🤣
"Lady in my apartment" title of Ashley comedy special 😁
Was *just* thinking about when this would drop and hey, here we are!!! Time for a cuppa and a podcast!
13:35 Like "I could really use a bowl of fruit right now. [...] Some fruit would be really nice." -from the "My Girlfriend Gives Me A Haircut" video. Like, it sounds exactly like that!
I think the way to get confident talking to women is to embrace rejection as Alayna said. Consider It as normal, and then the stakes aren’t as high. Also, blushing is endearing. It’s okay to get nervous.
!! I grew up in a very lgbtq+ friendly household thankfully but perhaps due to homophobic bullying, i cried during all the times i came out to family members even though i knew they were okay w it. I know that they don't care but i stilllllllll feel weird discussing it around them although its getting less so. (Came out again in september so 3 months ago now)
I'm sure general societal shame has also played a part too and i never want to be seen as creepy and my attraction has been treated that way in the past so
I love every time Ashley promos her podcast on this and it's like Alayna's greatest pet peeve 😆
I did the exact same mak's expression when ashley asked for tea lol
the excitement i felt when Ashley said she was gonna play zelda on her big tv
i did not know that she played zelda!! hope she's excited for botw2 😄
MAK AS ANAKIN SKYWALKER IS SO POWERFUL LIKE OMG
Here's my bit of advice (that I am trying out on myself) for getting confident talking to girls: ask out girls who you wouldn't even typically want to date. Like not the hottest girl youve ever seen (obv the goal is to work up to the really hot girls) but start out with the girl thats next to you at the coffee shop even if you arent actually into them. Then practice on them for the rizz to build up your own confidence to them eventually talk to the really pretty girls. The thought behind this is that you wont be as nervous to talk to someone who isnt as intimidatingly hot. Lmao thats just my take and something im trying out. Take it or leave it lol
lol the whole time Ashley was talking about carrying the baby I genuinely thought she was talking about carrying a baby, like holding it in her arms and I was so confused
Sameeeee
I'm a gaming nerd although I mostly do multiplayer games. I would say a lot of games that didn't come from movies are better, but there are also some amazing games that did come from movies. Thank you for the podcast and the representation 💓
Yeah, generally speaking, games made from movies are worse (at least for those who aren't a fan of the movie), but some are really good and great games in their own right.
I so relate to Ashley doing thinking of something funny while in peak sadness. That is my go to coping mechanism. Even if I'm alone, it's not always even about an audience, but it's better if there is one!
Has Alayna talked about how she and Grace met? I'm so intrigued that as someone on social media she's dating someone who isn't lol. I don't either, so I'd love to know how she met her 😂....for science.
you 3 have such beautiful comforting smiles, you can see how much you guys connect. truly the chosen family!
was having a bit of a breakdown earlier and this is the hardest ive laughed this week, thank you so much
I feel like this has just been me the last 6 months, but I feel it so deeply. Alayna, Ashley and Mak always make me laugh and smile. I wish I could personally tell them that it means the world to me. Especially when I have been in such a dark place. Their light makes it a little easier 💙💙💙.
I truly hope that you are doing better now. ❤
There's a definite different process when you are making a game on its own than when you are making a game that has to have analogs to an existing storyline. Just the fact that you have to build a game that, that due to marketing, generally has to come out around the same time that the movie comes out can really hamper the gameplay. Video games based on movies tend to not be as high quality as Standalone games.
You made this in October and we're only getting it NOW‽‽‽‽ 😭
I'm sorry about your show, Ashley!! I've been binging your stand up yesterday and enjoyed it sooo much✨ I was really disappointed when I noticed I had already watched all of it and there were no more clips to click on. We all know it's not a question of talent! These rejections are just a product of the marginalization of queer creators that is sadly still so prevalent in the entertainment industry. I do hope it comes to fruition soon, though. I'll definitely be watching 🌈
Hi. First - have to say not sure why I didn't watch these from the start. Amazing!!! So although beyond late to dinner with this but had to add another merch drop opportunity to go along with Tops Gotta Top & Top Recognize Top... Pops Gotta Top. Perfect for Ashley.😁 Thanks again for the great content!
Love that the videos keep getting longer. I hope the soup helped dad get better
23:19 (this time stamp is for me to review later): discussion about the awkwardness and discomfort of watching/seeing LGBT characters in shows/movies with family members
I am watching this as I am sick myself, and the laughs and love are making me feel much better ❤
Thank you for something so hilariously lovely, this is the only thing that relieves my severe confusion about how people should treat one another and if I'm crazy for wanting some validation and human intimacy. ❤😂 I love what y'all are doin
I never actually like podcasts, but I love this one. You all are so much fun to listen to.
Ashley do NOT give up on the diablo project. Your power is growing on the internet and it’s only going to get bigger and more likely you can sell it. I believe in you bro!!!!!
I was listening to this on Spotify and had to come watch the video. You 3 are hilarious
I was hoping Alayna would say her nerdy thing was mycology or botany. I love the fungi poster in the behind her during the podcast.
I was thinking she was gonna answer something like that too, especially because of her interest in ferns haha
guys this is so difficult, I listen to you at work, and today I was laughing like an idiot, I think my co-workers could hear me through their headsets 😆
i'm genuinely begging at this point for merch. my birthday's in a few months and i've already shared links to the podcast on instagram and youtube in hopes of a merch drop update, i'm still crying over that "tell her she's cute" hoodie
If tops recognize tops and bottoms avoid eye contact with bottoms what do switches do?
Ashley you've clearly never played the Shark Tale GBA game. Masterpiece.
I love the bits, doing bits is the funniest thing to me.
Let Ashley promote her podcast 😂😂😂 especially if it just comes up in conversation like when y'all were talking about microphones lmao
Agree! I feel like the vibe gets thrown off. Hoping it’s just growing pains of starting a new pod. Still funny content.
Currently Simping and this helps me cope
After the success of "Lesbos in Space" Mak should do another short film called "Dark Alley Dyke". It could be in a kind of noir style
You rock for trying to get it green lit. That is all. In the meantime watch Vida and A league of their own. Both great Sapphic options. You probably know though. Vida might be the best screenplay I've ever seen.
This podcast is the best, I love it so much, please never stop
I do feel like im sitting all together, laughing and I’m just here hanging out with you 🥹
thanks for the soup, I think Dad gave me the flu but is what it is, think it was worth it (legitimately have the flu this week so thanks for keeping me company and distracting me for a little while!)
This episode was hysterical!
It's so funny what you are saying about your new york accent, Ashley. I'm from the south and I grew up making SURE I never got an accent. I felt the same way about you saying you love a southern accent that you feel when they like your accent.
someone give dani a raise 😂
I love Ashley because shes so genuine in her humor
You all make me feel so much better when I’m not having a bad day or if I’m having a anxiety attack or mental breakdown or a panic attack i watch you to make me feel a better I’m having a bad day so much watching your podcast to try to make me feel better I’m bisexual
This was yet another great ep!!
I feel that watching TV thing, used to watch Gay as Folk with my Uncle though I hadn’t come out yet, I think that was me trying to but I stayed closeted til I was 35 and now I know I’m Pan at 40, he passed 11 yrs ago.
Okay maybe its just childhood nostalgia but starwars lego game cube was an amazing game
I rlly love anything from the Lego Franchise/brand thing. So I'd say the Lego Star Wars video games were rlly fun for me even tho I haven't been a committed fan to the films...
As a gen z gay I'm glad to get a little glimpse into what going thru the lesbian drama from Mak's pov..I was shook and saddened to see how everyone treated the influencers with such lack of concern/care for them as ppl. (I was only told ab it from a fren bc I had just gotten my own account and hadn't made it to lez tiktok yet)
what happened?
Loved this episode! You guys have great chemistry
Mak's jokes are gold today. 😂🏆✨
I totally get what Ashley is saying about the games that come from movies!
I support Ashley's stance on movie games lol They rarely turn out good, however, Star Wars is a recent exception haha. From a non-Star Wars fan, Fallen Order was amazing and pretty original!
I have a question... is Mak's mic the best or is it just their voice?
I've been binging these episodes since I saw that y'all had a podcast together, and this is by far my favorite 💗 you 3 make me laugh so much, I'm really really glad I found this 😊
I'm so with Ashley. I'm not a Star Wars fan at all and it's more than ok when the lore of an entire franchise is just in the games.
This podcast is so much fun